The Secret to HUGE Confidence with Girls (Most Men think this ISN'T Confident)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 มิ.ย. 2016
- True, deep confidence with girls is often misunderstood. The key we discuss in this video most men misunderstand as far from confident and attractive to women, but it's actually the secret to the most powerful, real confidence there is. ... SUBSCRIBE ON TH-cam: bit.ly/SubscribetoFEARLESS
If you're just starting out on building your confidence with women and dating, make sure you have some understanding and practice with creating sexual tension first and start here:
Sexual Tension and Confident vs Needy Men | Inside FEARLESS #1
• Sexual Tension and Con...
But if you've already got some understanding and real-life practice and skills with sexual tension and talking to women, then this is a huge key to taking wherever you're at to the next level and attracting and connecting with women deeply and consistently:
Vulnerability. It's often misunderstood - especially by men...and ESPECIALLY in relation to being confident with and attractive to girls - as weakness. Something to hide or "deal with" privately. Certainly not something to aid in building strong and/or sexual connections with women, or feeling confident in general.
But true vulnerability is actually the deepest confidence - and one of the most attractive traits to women - that there is. It's authenticity - being real. Not being afraid to share vulnerable things with women is a sign of extreme confidence, and it's thus extremely attractive to women. There is nothing more confident than being yourself and opening up to her without the need for her to like you or the fear of her seeing you as "weak."
The key is it has to come from a real, non-needy, non-validation seeking place. Otherwise it's not true vulnerability. That's why people often think vulnerability is weakness,
That's what this video is about - real vulnerability, what it looks like, and how to use it to be massively attractive and confident with women and people in general.
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🎬 Other Fearless Man Videos To Watch in this Series:
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➡️ Subtleties That Ruin Attraction Part 3:
• How to Touch a Woman W...
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What’s the quickest way to improve your dating? Simple you need to discover a few things (1) what is it that you are doing that’s pushing women away (2) how do you self reject (3) how do women experience you? You’ll be surprised how such simple things make such a difference once you see that it’s not about attraction women, but rather what’s preventing your natural ability to attract the feminine? That’s exactly what we teach at Fearless live events - click below to learn more
New York City - www.thefearlessman.com/live-nyc-yt
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Confidence is believing in your ability to handle any situation that comes your way. It's not having assurance that everything will turn out fine but that even If everything goes to shit you remain yourself and you'll handle it.
Right
The way you explain the difference between being needy and vulnerable is very enlightening. It's almost frustrating to realize something so simple isn't being taught more. We get math classes, history classes, language classes, but God I wish I had had "human experience" classes with this kind of insights being explained.
Totally agree. Glad this helped!
"Only the confident really lives". Great motto. Rid of fear that life is beautiful. Expand in joy.
Glad it resonates!
Sometimes I allow myself to be verbally vulnerable to a woman without quite being able to connect with what I'm saying. It's the same with when that amazing eye contact occurs, with messages passing between my eyes and hers, but then I panicked and look away. I will work to maintain the eye contact.
I remembered one smiliar incident which you said, i told it to a girl and she opened up for me. I said few things and one sentence I said was " I don't ask anyone a second time " that made all the difference.
That is one of the best and deepest Videos on the whole tube. Real wisdom and power. I thank you for that Sir.
Wow, what a compliment! I thank YOU for that, Sir
Wow, this video struck a nerve with me. I had always suppressed this side of myself because I thought it was weakness, but opening up like this to a girl is actually very easy for me and truly enjoy it. I will be doing this with a girl very soon if she gives me the chance to sit and talk with her. I had questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing, but this has removed all doubt. Being left handed and very right brained I think makes this easier for me since the right brain controls emotion. Thanks Brian, your videos are the absolute best. I actually want to get into life coaching, but I need to get my own life in order first. You are a major inspiration.
Let me know how it goes! And would love to meet you at an event or workshop.
Too bad I live in Wisconsin because that would be helpful. Thanks.
How did it go man.
education system is dead
Words can not express what this video has done... I remember in watching different videos on how to deal with women, and when I get an answer I resonated with, I feel this instant "eureka " moment in my brain. This video left an imprint, while writing this I feel a sense of tension in my body tingling with a release. I feel greatful for the things in my life now and I now see how to be the me I always wanted to be. Thank you Fearless Man and I please never stop giving the hard work, love, and support you give. PEace
This goes straight to my favourite videos list, thanks for making this
giannisniper96 same I have a playlist of videos that has changed my life
I think this is one of if not the hardest thing for me to do, cuz my past experiences dealt me blows with my former selves that lead me to believe if I was real and felt emotion with people, especially women, they would use it again me and see me as less attractive, weak and so on... But I'm grateful for it cuz it gets me thinking about way to truly be real with myself
Very valuable information dear sir; not just for dating/relationships but also daily interactions with people in general. It's bizarre how so many of us have developed this almost innate habit of masquerading our vulnerability due to all sorts thoughts, societal pressures and past experiences. I'm working hard to come closer to my true self/expression.
What is referred to as "vulnerability" by The FEARLESS Man is to me fearless, visceral risk-taking self-expression w/o the need of external validation. "Damn the torpedoes" if she doesn't like what you have to say as long it stays assertive w/o personal attacking. Even if she disagrees, at least she will respect your honesty. This takes a lot of guts!
I equate vulnerability with my weakness that a person who does not have my best interests at heart can exploit. This is still an excellent video, thumbs up!
Thank you! The Secret to Living is Giving. Giving Love, Giving Truth, Giving Talent, Give!
So interesting. I write in the morning. And these gems would Come out in a rubbish of just me complaining and whining. But I would type out a realization that would center me. Near the vibration of being in flow with other mediums. And one of the combination of words that bring me there is "allowing everything to happen". A previous "affirmations" was "nothing is mine". And engaging with these prespectives brought me to my gut. And sort of slowed everything down and made connecting (words/people) more..fuller... clearer. It's interesting you mentioning that experience. Thank you for reminding me.
Awesome!
Love this video. To borrow a phrase from Colonel Kurtz, are you saying that we must make a friend of fear and tension and nervousness and anxiety.
Yes!
Are you an assasin ?
I actually tried this exact thing years ago and it was very eye opening. I started with good friends of mine (both men and women) and I straight up told them the complete emotional truth about something. It could be something as simple as telling them that I completely lied when I said something in order to avoid a conflict and this is why and how I actual felt about it. Instead of that person being enraged at me we ended up having a heart to heart conversation for an hour and a half. Very simple thing but after that we were much closer than we’ve ever been it was so amazing to me.
Great video. This is helping me with a situation I'm in right now.
I'd use the words "permeable" or "transparent" instead of "vulnerable" because of the meaning people often give to the last word, but it's a detail, the video is awesome 👍
What gets me is when it's appropriate to be more logical and then when to be more vulnerable. There is a tension between those states
This sounds like freaking rocket science
No shit! I'd rather trust my right hand! It's a hell of a lot cheaper too!
no need to use your rght hand, just go away to the east, when i went to some ex soviet states the women were MUCH nicer, easier to talk to, no tests non of this nonsence and i had my first date in 9 years, granted i asked if she was married she said no but revealed after dinner she was engaged, but non the less if i can get a sort of half date there anyone can ! its interesting how all the power dynamics change, no shit testing no pretending to be cold to test your confidence, no anything, because there are more girls than men, so they cant afford to do all that nonscence ! failing that, there is always africa, were you WILL get a girl if you have white skin, you WILL GET A GIRL THERE, I PROMISE YOU !
Learn to be present and learn to accept yourself and have cool goals to work on.....
OR, get a sweet flesh light. They are 25% off nowadays and give no shit tests : P
All jokes, bruv !
Since when is the power of honesty mysterious??
Amazing how many people are willing to be shallow so they can avoid vulnerability, tension and rejection. As a result, they never really live nor connect with others.
just seen your video.the major word that coes to mind is"SCARY".i was very moved by your
courage.also i felt empathetic toward your situation with your girl and i felt scared cause
its a situation i would like to express to my ex wife,no commitment let my defences down
and connect,ut im that used to hiding my hurt,and to be honest i lost all my confidence with
women,30 years ago,yeh its bin that long since i had sex pitiful eh.but seeing your video
is an inspiration i know now whats meant by being real.bette stop now.boy if i had a million
you can have,for the hope im feelin right now.
thank you
don
Awesome stuff and good vulnerability. What actions are you taking?
Man..u r truly a great humen being...just completely relate with u and with ur everything u said in every video..I must tell u.. Uta unlike the other ones..and most realistic basic things..which I can and everybody can feel it and understand it..whatever u shared.. Just appreciated a lot..its a true wisdom.. And we all should apply in our everyday life with eachbone we meet...becoz its so genuine and a voice of heart and soul.. People don't need to rethink about whether its true or not ..its just flows naturally people will believe in us..effortlessly.. As we become true.. Originally.. God bless.. :)
Amazing advise dude keep this stuff coming
You the real one Brian. No tricks just truth
Wow. This really struck a nerve...
I played rep soccer as a goalkeeper throughout my youth. I was definitely needy as to what people thought .. specifically how good I was, how I played. I definitely was good! However because of how needy I was thinking caused me to make a lot of mistakes. Looking back I don’t know why I was like this, still confused to this day. However, one game I had, I definitely had enough of the team I was playing with.. felt too much pressure on myself. In this one game it changed my life forever. In the pre game I told myself not to look over to the bench not to care what others though stuck my chest out and played. Needless to stay I played GREAT. In fact I have never played a better game in that point. Saved a penalty shot too. Shot after shot nothing went by me that night. All my team mates and coaches that doubted me before, now. patted me on the back. What they had to say never affected me because I was honest with myself. I quit the team without contacting anybody. And nobody reached out to me either as to why I left.
I guess what I’m trying to get at with this story is that... you have to be honest and let go of your own neediness in your own life. It could make a difference.
powerful story! Thanks for sharing it
The Fearless Man thanks! Very nice channel by the way. Very detailed information :)
today was the first day I went out to conquer my loss of confidence...U made a profound differnce in my life now Im cofident to be authentic and I approached multiple women and faced my fears and used your question excerise ...Thank You Thank You Thank You so much...
Love to hear that!! Keep working on it!
Amazing video man!
Thanks for sharing this. I think it will be a great lesson for me. I will try to practice this more.
Thank u man for this life changing advice, it s a long journey to be vulnerable, but by doing things that make us accepte to be 1% more vulnerable today than we were yesterday, it possible to reach this goal
Your videos are hypnotic. I'm a writer and, I have to say, out of all the books I've read, literature or otherwise, you just explained vulnerability as a strength better than I've ever heard. Bravo.
Thanks!
well I can say with your advice I am able to solve my self and never before I am able to understand what confidence really is. many many thanks
This video changed everything for me thank you!
Love to hear that! Hope to meet you at an event
Great content. thank you
A GREAT HELP TO ME THANKS!!!!!
Bryan please make a video on journaling......a full complete video on it...I know u already shared ur ideas on it but I ll b grateful if u make a complete video on it
I'm new at this channel but all I wanna say is, thank you Brian. U have changed my life. Bless u. Keep on doing great work.
You've got a lot of heart, Hamzah. Keep it up. Love is the most powerful law of the universe.
Landon, TFM
Truly authentic and level headed you are . Your a younger man than I but I'm learning so much from you . Sincere thanks to you
Thank you! And I love to hear that I'm "a younger man!" haha
\
This is my favorite video of yours so far. It felt very personal and real.
Very good vid Sr.Right on point.Greetings from Cuba
Excellent video. Vulnerability has created such deep relations with women in my life. Not all women will appreciate it, but many will.
I needed to see this. There are so many dating coaches that have techniques to get out of the friend zone that seem so superficial in comparison.
Thanks, love to hear things like that. Hope to meet you at an event! www.thefearlessman.com/events/
Thanks for the info. Any chance you might do a workshop in Atlanta?
One of the best videos I have ever seen on TH-cam
More young man need to hear this
i experienced it awesome touch my soul
Some men say don't show any vulnerability because the woman will see weakness and start doubting your manlyness and cheat on you or dump you.
What do you say to this.?
Absolutely best channel on TH-cam. You guys are awesome andrew called me yesterday to just check in with me. I never knew what vulnerability felt like until I started working with you. It feels amazing. This is going to be part of my life from now on.
Great to hear that man and to chat last week. - Andrew, TFM Team
I regularly watch your video but here I need to know how can i implement all your principles
more than perfect! my vulnerability its accodiated with how sensible im, im pretty sure that if a woman knew the deep me she would fall in love with me definetely, come on guys we are not gays if we show ur true intentions, as long as ur negative thoughts and neediness doesnt control ur mind u will get whatever girl u want
wish to know it earlier, tks brian
I was vulnerable with my ex over something, and she tried to mock me for it. Not the opening up, rather she felt what I was telling her about myself wasn't manly. (Actually, my principles showed strength and assurance, but she had no concept of my convictions.) Of course, all the "manly" men she'd been with before left her, and she 's still single today. Along with what Brian said, you have to be ready for a hostile, if not rude, reaction. Stay cool, stand confidently. For me, she recognized I was serious about my principles, and later apologized.
Harlowe79 What I get is this: Keep it real and then show your strong frame (must be real too lol!)
Keep your weak frame in (the needy frame)
Ok this was awesome video.
I was preparing myselft to meet with my ex wife in a terapeutic session, so this was one of the most usesfull and wise lesson for me. Thank you very much. From Paraguay.
Love to hear that!
Having watched this it all seems so simple now. But I have a pretty serious problem, I get overly emotional. When ever I try to open up like this I can get easily overwhelmed to the point where I'll start sobbing and can't physically even speak any more and its a self feeding issue. How can I fix that?
Man, I AGREE ALL THE WAY
good stuff
This dude is awesome. I gotta go to LA.
thanks for being such a badass and helping us become better !! can u make a video on being a 3rd stage man in a relationship what words describe his actions and character?
Great idea-I'll add it to the list. Glad this resonated!
Mr. Fearless. I purchased your book and it has helped me. The main thing I took away from it was the ability to ground yourself when approaching and also learning to not be outcome dependent. Not becoming outcome dependent is a hard topic for me to grasp. Can you make a video about that?
Exercise number 1: Try approaching multiple people, just go to a crowdy place and start saying hi to everyone you meet. Some people will be nice, some will ignore you and that's it.
Exercise 2: Make a mental exercise not related to approaching. Think what is the worse that could happen if something went wrong.
Exercise 3: Notice exactly what you feel when somebody is mean to you; even if it's just not replying back, what are your thoughts exactly? What is the mental dialog? Do you believe negative things and even affirm what this person says? Or do you realize that what they say is out of your control and what you can do is control your thought process?
For example, what's the worse that can happen if you approach a woman that is really good looking and she's primed herself up and you stutter?
Let's say she laughs and she may even makes fun of you in front of everybody if she's a person in a bad place. Yes, it may feel bad but remember that single event does not define you.
The first issue is you are WORRYING about what MIGHT happen if things go south. This creates an scenario in your mind that may prevent you from taking action in the real world and if you take action and your fear becomes true you perceive that as the only important thing. What you may want to do is look at the fact that YOU (what YOU can control is yourself) were able to approach a woman and stutter, that's one step ahead of when you were worried about what would happen if you did. So now you know exactly how it feels, in reality, not in your imagination and you were able to deal with it simply by the fact of doing it. The trick is to start noticing that these things are about PERCEPTION and imagination. This girl is not even in your close vicinity and you probably won't see her again but most important you are able to do it again. At this point forget about concepts like success or failure, which are just opinions, just focus on facts. Were you able to do it? If you weren't able to do it did you at least went out there with the intention to do it? Did you notice the discomfort? What's the worse that REALLY happened (outside your mind). So where did that discomfort really came from?
Now think about a moment in your life when things went really bad, let's say you lost a pet, or a family member or got in an accident, etc. How does that compare to where you are now? Was your body and your mind able to take it? Are you still alive? The idea is to start trusting yourself and what you're made of to be able to deal with life. THat's the essence of letting go.
Think about this, you managed to survive in the womb for 9 months and you were able to grow up to be a man. Although today's society takes things like that for granted there are HUGE accomplishments you've already made just by doing that and appreciate yourself for it.
Principle 1: The problem with becoming income dependent is another manifestation of fear. Now, the fear Brian is talking about is the fear that's created in our own heads when we think the consequences of our own actions in a SINGLE act will determine the rest of our lives when reality what determines our lives is how we steer it every day. Is not a single event, is not a rejection, is not multiple rejections, is not failure....Is how we interpret those and proceed. Even when you don't make a choice, you've chosen inaction.
Principle 2: The way somebody treats you says more about them than about you because everybody chooses their own voices and reactions and nobody MAKES anyone choose those. Learn to REALIZE that you can place your value within yourself instead of accepting what other human beings say to you. It doesn't matter what the event it, different people will react different because they chose differently. What goes for men approaching women also goes for women being approached by men in this sense.
More great stuff from Einar!
Do what Einar says, watch these videos, and let us know how it's going: The Power of Indifference to Outcome and Letting Go th-cam.com/video/C9Ru44-g5sU/w-d-xo.html
How to Let Go - Powerful Tools to Let Go of the Past & Negative Feelings
th-cam.com/video/Sg-OcYneVso/w-d-xo.html
he right that's how I' am
What vulnerability means here is. Remember in TDKR. When Bruce kept trying to make the jump with the rope. And the guy told him. How can you make the jump without having the true feeling of fear involved, but controlling it. He said something along those lines. Then Bruce made the jump without the rope. He made himself vulnerable.
Well this makes me think of storytelling - more specifically one of my friends who is a natural great storyteller. Not only has he experienced a lot, but he's got an ability to make his stories very entertaining and funny because he's so animated and feels the emotions when he tells the story like he has travelled back in time. For example, some of the stories will involve his part time job as a soccer coach for a womens team. He will tell stories about games where his players would complain about bad refs and about his own aggressive reaction toward the refs' bad calls. He will basically tell you the details so that you can imagine yourself being there and watching him go crazy in this "crazy overweight passionate soccer coach" role screaming, jumping up and down with his beer belly and shaking his head violently, who's either mad at his knucklehead players or brain dead refs. Of cource knowing him, makes the stories even more fun for me, but he honestly does not tell those stories to be funny but because he's extremely passionate about soccer and hates loosing. I take note about his ability to tell funny stories for sure.
In May, mothers day i told my mom how dear she is for me and how grateful i am for all that she has done for me. Month later i called my brother who im not too close with that deep inside i really love him. But now i really, really regret saying these things to both of these people. Passion is a sign of weakness and sooner or later i will disappoint these people, both of them. Never again will i talk this love shit . sadly i am surrounded by fake ass people and your own family is something you gotta get away from sometimes, far away.
Detachment from outcome. Nonattachement
Only the confident truly live. That is a truly priceless formulation. Accumulating confidence is the key to success. Yes you have to be vulnerable to be confident. Confidence breeds action. Inherently therefore one anticipates fail and risk.
It is like a Seal going for a high and sensitive mission. Risks are high and quite vulnerable. Great
Glad it resonates. Hope to meet you at an event! www.thefearlessman.com/events
I am 17 years old and very unemotional. I don't show my emotions and instead cover them up. I honestly don't know what to do and how to change... What is the first step I should take in connecting with people?
It seems like you might know the answer - it's not hiding your emotions. Own them and be vulnerable like this video is about. Call things out about how you feel, but without being attached to getting a result.
fucking challenge of my life. Brian: I get what your saying and I am working on this. I guess God's cruel joke on men is that women are emotionally complicated, and women know the effect that they have on men.
You're speaking in Victim Mentality. Back to taking FULL responsibility while also loving yourself deeply.
"God's cruel joke" You are not a victim of any god. You are in control.
the fearless man, dont you see this mentality is killing men, the power gap between men and women in dating is redicously high, if there is an injustice in society we should speak up, you dont just ignore it, whats the consiquence of that ? it just means the injustace gets worse. I again disagree, if your a man you are at a massive disadvantage in the dating field, thats just obvious, so although im not religious, so i wownt say god, but you are at a massive disadvantage, and no, your not in control, the woman is in control because she choses and you ask, and the reason that you have to train so hard to get a better chance of her saying yes is because the woman is in control, women will never ask you out (except for an odd exceptional circumstance) and you will always have to ask women out, therefore you are not in control at all.
I get shaky when I feel my core
you making me cry man
your demonstrated skill i just don´t have LOL
I find myself compartmentalizing all of these truths and skills into a separate kind of mindset. Then, when I’m in a situation where I’m attracted to a woman I enter into this mindset. It feels a little artificial. Am I just being too hard on myself? Because The feeling of artificiality keeps me from fully getting into it.
These should be your mindsets throughout your daily life. You'll probably have to catch yourself a lot at first and make course corrections, but that's part of learning anything. Riding a bike doesn't feel natural at first either
3:10
what is the difference between vulnerability and fear?
Vulnerability is confidence - it's being open and real and being willing to be open with your emotions, which can include fear. I might talk about this one on an upcoming Q&A too, so look out for that.
i would be up for one of your seminars dude ... hit me up with some dates and venues please
The next free Gathering (mini-seminar) is on October 19th-sign up for those here: go.thefearlessman.com/the-gathering
If you're looking for a full weekend, intensive FEARLESS Experience workshop, you can apply for that here and someone will follow-up with you to chat and get you signed up for a workshop: www.thefearlessman.com/the-experience-apply-now/
Both are at FEARLESS HQ in LA
bruh i have this already in fact i'm always vulnerable
If it's pushing people away on a regular basis, it's probably got some neediness or drama to it
So here is one for you fearless man. I asked an attractive woman for her number, she said yes. After leaving, I felt this great sense of emotional pain that came over me and, it lasted a couple of hours. what is this?
priapism
@@kevin7392 😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 u killed him
Nice clock Man!
Do you have to focus on the emotion on the body whilst talking to someone to maintain it there? I'm confused...
Doesn't focusing on what is going on in the body distract from the actual conversation?
Sounds like quite a "cerebral" task to me... But to naturally open up, now I wonder if that could occur without focusing on the emotion in the body?
dd you get the girl who you opened up to ?
Holy mother, that's the good kush
i love this guy..hahaha
He seems like he knows a lot
Your an amazing guy
I tell It but when I sed I can take it i look like I don't give a fuck when I actually did
i been listening to alpha male strategies and rollo tomassi, they would disagree with allof this
This made me feel so damn uncomfortable. I dont know how to implement this with girls I'm just trying to get with.
You just do. www.thefearlessman.com/confident-vulnerability-vs-neediness-ruwan-meepagala-becoming-fearless/
Brian are you a math addict ?
I would never have the balls to say THAT to the girl I like. This is crazy.
Brian you look like you haven’t slept in days
Nonetheless love your content man
Why should it be some secret? If it's natural state to be communicative with women, then, why not to make it easier to men to find them self a way to be natural in communication to women?
The key is to make them feel protected and turned on.
Eye contact then grab a tit works perfect
In a nutshell!
hi im sorry i still dont get the difference in the first example, you seem to be saying the same thing with different words and i dont see how either of them make any difference at all. I also dont undersand who is telling the truth, because when i told women i really liked them they always said no, i put this down to me telling them that because guys that arent emotional get women and the dating experts tend to say dont be emotional, so i thought this was why i was rejected by all the women i asked out, now im hearing the opposite, who is right and why ? i mean those guys who arent emotional do get a lot of women, i think its undenable, and saying you really like a girl has never helped me at all, i dont get it at all, this is just confusing me more, also hw do you rememebr eye contact, i always forget every time, by the way i have aspergers so i struggle to rememebr all the social things i have to do because im concentrating so much on what to say because a lot of the time i forget what to say and cant say anything, how do i avoid this problem, also when i forget things to say i get nervous, how do i stop this ?
You seem like someone who is all over the place,and has too much thoughts floating around at once. One thing I want to know first is, why do the women you speak to always say no?
Commenting at 6:08
Ugh it hurts I don't like it. I know it's important but I don't like it.
Don't play with women. The game is rigged.
I said exactly same to her I am moving on soon ..I just want to tell how much I care about ..I was not needy ..but she was bitch 😂😂😂😂
You say that like women are born with magical abilities to feel those energy or emotions but mans need to learn those how the fuck does this work man?
Women have their own challenges and struggles. For now, I'm focused on men. Women play with emotions and relationships from a young age-tea parties, dolls, etc.
Im just a shy kid dude your scaring me
So work on it. Lots of videos on the channel to help you.
Hey I m from india I see ur all videos I want to say plz tell clearly I can't understand ur words so I can't understand what u r saying from all over world are viewer are plz clear say the words
This bloody idiot is making you fool. Don't play with the women. The game is already rigged in women's favor.
Bunch of bull !!