Greatest things humanity has produced has indeed came from negative emotions, loneliness and sadness, including my perma ban on league. Blessing in disguise 💯
yeppp during covid i was suppa depressed but that shit caused me to loose weight. so i became skinny. now ive been building muscle & have never felt better
i also got perma banned and all i did was not know how to play the game and running into enemy base constantly with garen lmao, so i created a new account and now I am level 106 shaco main mastery 11
I stayed single, started setting boundaries and isolated for a good 6 months to make sure I could love myself before another relationship. Started therapy, started meditation. When you feel the pain and depression it gets better afterwords. Now iv met 2 new friends, have a date in a month and im going back to school next year. Its crazy what happens when you recognize your inner deeper feelings.
@technov1deo dude, women keep themselves ridiculously busy these days. I was in a relationship for 10 years, spent almost a year single and trying to set up a date now is like pulling teeth. I met up with a girl, 1st and only date, and at the end she said she wanted to see me again. Pulled out her phone, showed me her calendar and she wasnt free for a whole 8 and a bit weeks and then mostly full after that too. So I said no thanks then and there... Like wtf? If you won't actually make time and move stuff around to get to know me, I'm making zero effort and shutting you out. So now we don't talk, blocked each other and deleted our numbers (I think, I certainly deleted and blocked her).
@@thevoicewithin9845 Honestly if a girl likes you they will clear their plans and see you the next day. Or at least within a few days. I've never organised a date more than a week in advance. If they can't see me within a week, I'll assume they don't want to see me at all
I'd say it's good to learn detachment, and at the same time, Being honest with myself, I craved intimacy and closeness, it's normal to feel that - even if finding it is difficult.
I believe that dismissing the second chance actually was a good decision. It is called self love and self respect. If she was really into you and had respect, she proved that to you the upcoming days. The thing is most of the time their excuses are not valid. So don't be so accessible to girls who cancelled the first date.
What bothers me the most is that why she didn't at the very least inform him ahead of the time? It's simple courtesy, a simple heads up before the actual time would be nice rather than let the guy wait alone for 30 minutes.
Great point, I think if I had said no due to what you said it would've been good - I was just too embarrassed and scared though. Sometimes the wrong working out, gives the right answer 😅
@@japz321Theres a very good possibility that it was a ego boost type thing. She knows a guy is currently waiting on her and she denies him, making her feel self-assured and giving a confidence boost.
@@SolomonDarbey '' I need to watch over my friend...'' No, some other dude she's more interested in texted her, but when she knew they weren't gonna meet she magically became available to meet you.
It’s a different level of comfort to know that you’re not alone and others feel the same way you do I hope you and everyone else in the world gets the love they deserve ❤
@@necianuni you're right. And it seems so common now for men to experience difficulty when it comes to dating. Women have too many options where as men have not enough.
This was a great message against self sabotage. Don't rage quit, see things out till the bitter end cause you never know the end result. Leave with no regrets.
You have so much courage to say this out on a public platform, man. Millions of men worldwide face this at all ages. No one is there to listen to them. But you said all this and it takes courage.
Exactly! Saying no means you have standards! Telling her no would have rocked her way more than it did you! Besides, as soon as a girl messes you about, plays with your feelings, tries to take control of the situation or relationship as a whole, those are all red flags. GTFO of there ASAP. Woman stands you up, block her, move on. Hot girl shows you a red flag, like potentially a narcissist and/or has daddy issues and wants to play princess, tell her no and walk away. Trust me. You did yourself a favour by saying no. Personally, I would have blocked her the moment she stood me up and would never have given her another chance to contact me. But at least the guy said no in the end! Show women you have standards, self respect and dignity. Who gives a crap if you played LoL instead of going on a date!? If you can't be happy doing something on your own like gaming, you'll never find happiness with a partner.
Repeated Social Defeat is one of the most crippling traumas out there. You could so innocently lead yourself to severe unrecognized problems if you can't distinguish "it didn't work out, try again" from "I don't deserve this anyways". Thank you for sharing your story! Appreciate you. Gained a follower.
I didn't expect this random video I clicked on to give me actual good advice. I think the most important thing is not to fall into this feeling of desparation. People will also sense that you are desparate and that's not really attractive. I think you really did the right thing by saying no to that first girl. It shows that you have respect for yourself. At the same time you should also respect your emotions and not push them away. In the end the best approach is to not think about it too much and get too into your head about it. Just as you did with the last girl.
I felt the same way lately. It's better now. I'm cultivating my passions, rather than desperately looking for someone else. I felt like I was getting a big hug watching this video. u have it, keep going!💗
The sad truth is that most guys are lonely because THEY CHOOSE to sit inside every evening watching netflix, playing computer games, youtube and doomscrolling. Friendships are made outside of your house and they are truly built by regular and consistent experience together in person
Feel this. Due to circumstances I commuted an hour to college and still had to take care of my brother. Always..sad I couldn’t have the ideal college experience. Though my last year was such a struggle, after graduating I didn’t want to go back unless I had to. Now a year later, working an entry level job I’m not really passionate about while my social circle never really moved an inch. Most days after work it’s so easy to just zone out and game the rest of the night away. Though that only lasts so long before the day begins again. The ultimatum seems so black and white: stay at this level, or get your ass back to school for a higher quality of life. I struggled with the idea/fear of losing motivation and I still do to an extent. But I’d like to believe what I’m lacking is discipline - getting back to a regular gym schedule, making time for my hobbies outside of just video games, and also a better mindset. To which I mean trying to enjoy the journey rather than just the destination. Wishing everyone luck on their journey..!
Okay, but it's difficult to go to stuff alone and even if i choose to go, it's difficult to get to know other people 'cause of social anxiety I get the feeling if people already are at a place as a group together you don't want this random dude you don't know joining you and making things awkward, as the random dude doesn't know anything about anybody in the group and thus it's hard to get conversations to go smoothly and naturally
I have no choice but to be lonely. I'm Goth, I dress differently and although I'd say I'm a pretty cool and chill person it doesn't matter because people can't relate. I didn't know you had to relate aesthetic and music wise to be friends with someone... I thought other factors played a role.. like personality. I am watching this video because I'm 29, I've been lonely since I was 14. I look younger than my age. 20-25.. I hate the loneliness but when you choose to express yourself, you get ostracized.. I'm attractive, artistic, and funny but people don't know anything about me because they don't give me a chance. I already accepted my fate.. I have to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone have the life I want. Friends, love, dates, relationships and etc..
You don't have to fix yourself in a box. I too once believed I'm a loner. Had only a bunch of friends in college(with whom i talked occassionally) and avoided opposite gender like a plague. This only reinforced my beliefs about myself. What helped me was just going out and meeting people in tech events and having something to talk about. You don't have to be like this. Peace.
I'm glad to hear you say good things about yourself, I find that hard sometimes. I think there is definitely a game to be played when meeting partners, but there's a balance, you must also express yourself, or there'll be no authenticity and you won't connect. Why do you think people don't give you a chance?
Every town/city has at least some sort of goth community...usually through music gigs. Genuinly feel sorry if youv not even attempted to go to them regularly.
Bro I am currently in a situation - where I have a crush on an ex-colleague and I regret every single day that I have not asked her out or attempted to get more close - i genuinely felt that i found someone that can be a suitable partner for me in the long-term. I tried even connecting on social media and took a step far to message request here to get a conversation going - she did not even respond nor acknowledge the message , I waited and waited and started to develop negative and lonely thoughts now currently I am taking a break from social media to try and move on from the person and try to see it as a lesson. Good video man.
Hey bro, one thing really stood out to me. You mentioned at the start that you have regret for not pursuing things with this girl (believe me i know the feeling), what I find interesting is that you then conquered this fear (hard asf to do) but then you see it as a failure because she didn't respond. Brother, the fact you even SENT the message means you are a beast, you have to think about what YOU did that was good, not how she responded that was bad. Proud of you and thanks for the support
I had similar stories brother. I’ve lost all of my friends from high school and from middle school, just because they knew me of my old version. No one could understand me truely and I was always a joke in conversations. I always followed people, did what they asked. I was trying to be a good person as evenly as possible. A white knight on a white horse you know. A main character of an anime, pure gold good heart. But being a “good guy” is not always good. You did a good job not going to the pub in your first story. Because that girl dumped you the first time and probably her story was a lie as well. And you are absolutely right about feeling emotions to their end. We shouldn’t distract ourselves from a sad, depressing moment. 1 month ago when I argued with all of my high school friends, declaring war to them etc. I lost all of them intentionally and I literally cried 3 hours in my room with minimal moon light coming to my room from outside. I thought so much while I was crying. I accepted everything I went through. Removed every last one of my supposedly “high school friends” and my Villain Arc journey has started. The thing is, I have total freedom right now. I am absolutely alone but at least I respect myself and I’m ready to make new connections with new people. Of course I won’t become a total evil villain, I just quit being a total good guy in every occasion. I started doing calisthenics, caring my hygiene more and changing my style of appearance. Like a remake of a video game. Of course I am still myself, but first thing that I will care about in the future will be me instead of other people. We shouldn’t put others in first(except family or really close friends). This isn’t only about crying in a room for 3 hours. I’ve literally accepted everything. My mistakes, my failures, my weaknesses(I have Speech Fluency Disorder for 11 years) my nature and these’s opposites. When I embraced myself, I started to care less about future. I started just to live the present, carpe diem. If I need to cry again in the future, I will do it because us humans need to live these emotions fully. In order to ascend from the ground, we need to fall completely, seeing the desperation once but also hope afterwards!
Wow. Sorry to hear that your friends treated you that way, very impressed that you realised how you were behaving partially created those situations. That lesson took me so long to learn. Well done for allowing yourself to feel that emotion without resorting to distracting yourself. You know reading your comment, I was proud and then concerned and then inspired hahaha. You seem to have stumbled across EXACTLY what I stumbled across, even down to you talking about weaknesses and failures. My next video is going to be on embarrassment and I'd love to know your thoughts ❤️
Yea the numbing the pain thing and essentially coasting by taking no action because you are distracting yourself just enough is relatable and something I've been trying my best to avoid.
I think you did the right thing in saying no to the first girl. Waiting until 30 mins after you planned to meet up with someone to tell them you can't make it is very rude.
I spent years building myself into a man with a physique like an MCU superhero and an outgoing, charismatic personality, which was hard because I was a skinny introvert as a kid. I talked to pretty much everyone at my local supermarket, including a girl who I thought was cute. A little while later, the manager, who I knew and was friendly with, pulled me aside and told me that she'd filed a complaint about me for making her feel uncomfortable. I'd never said anything rude, crude, or inappropriate to her, never asked for her number or anything. I'm in great shape so a while later, 2 girls who worked there came up and asked if they could feel my biceps. I let them and we talked for a bit until I excused myself. They were obviously interested in me and asked when I'd be back. I said I didn't know, but we'd see each other again. The next time I saw them, they completely avoided me and wouldn't even look at me. Those are 2 of many, many examples, but I'm at the point now where I can't hope or try anymore, because life has proven to me over and over again that whenever I do, not only will things not work out, I'm likely to make them worse.
Chin up broski. Fuck that person that wanted to file a complaint on you. Dudes can’t even talk to a girl without being labelled a creep. It’s not you. It’s society. You’re doing nothing wrong. Keep going brother
It’s wild how we live in an age that connects us all but nobody wants to reach out to one another. I’ve given up making friends completely and it FeelsGoodMan.
One of the most wholesome and relatable videos ive seen in this sea of brainrot i get on YT usually. You are very good at telling those stories man. 18 minutes passed like 5. Thank you!!
You know, a girl I really liked, that was my girlfriend for about three and a half years, she one day just lied to me, and hurt me so deeply that I broke. For months I was so sad, so miserable, but I never tried to hide my feelings, never tried to distract myself from the sadness, the sorrow and the pain. 7 or 8 months later, almost all the bad feelings are gone, and I feel so much better, even better than before. I really loved that girl, she arrived at my life when I was looking for the same than you: a deep and meaningful connection with someone. Eventually she was gone, my life changed, and the connection was lost. But right now, everything is just better. Let you feel your feelings friends, it's the best way to arise stronger and mature after everything was hurting you
As of 2024 dating was terrible for me all of the relationships I had this year failed and I had friends for a while and unfortunately they started ghosting me and not inviting me out eventually we had a falling out. I isolated myself from people I stopped dating . I picked up boxing as a new hobby and I started playing basketball (I might apply for tryouts next year ). I'm working on my relationship with God. College grades improved. Right now I'm happier now with myself.
Ngl man. I kind of needed this video, sometimes I self sabotage a lot with girls. "What if she's boring, what if I don't find her attractive on the date" so what, just see it through no matter what and take a chance. It will at least be an experience.
As a fellow introvert, I have become more confident in being myself and talking to people. I approach women every once in a while. But I just feel alone too. All my high school friends have drifted away from each other after graduation (2023) so I don't have any friends at all. Just acquaintances. I've tried online dating before but it doesn't go anywhere. I'm on SR with a long streak so far (been practicing it since 17, i'm 20 now). I feel like women don't find me attractive or interesting and the amount of times i've been rejected doesn't motivate me to approach more women. So now i'm just focusing/distracting myself with work and getting to my goals
Clearly there is a level beyond introversion, cause I can never act on what I want when it comes to communicating with other people. But I also don’t like talking much. Loneliness is just the destiny for some.
You're lucky that you can recognize non verbal communication. I think I'm autistic or something. I just played video games and other copes, didn't bother with girls. Sometimes I'm lonely, but not that often, I was alienated from childhood so I had to learn how to entertain myself. Plenty of distractions nowadays. I've never been to a pub, only had a few drinks in my life. Good for you, nice story. I'm happy for you.
Aww man, thanks for the kind words, also I can't help but wanna know more. I dissociated from a young age too, I was completely stuck in a rut until I learned how my mind worked. After that my life transformed.
If even a good looking guy like you isn't getting many matches on Tinder, it's really looking bad for the rest of us. Dating apps are brutal. Using gaming as a cope to to deal with sadness and loneliness is definitely something a lot of us guys have in common. l really liked this video. You're a good storyteller and being vulnerable on camera isn't easy. It's great that you approached someone and got her number. Even if things didn't last too long, it was still a W. Hopefully this video goes even more viral. More guys should watch it.
Its sorta like working out, your "heart" is a muscle, and it gets sore the harder you use it. But the more you do the less sore it gets and the more you can handle and achieve with it. And that part about seeing those thoughts and feelings through to the end is the best exercise you can do. Don't dwell, don't distract, just feel.
I just ended an almost two year relationship, which lasted that long mostly because of my inner fear to be alone. I finally made the step to rather embrace the loneliness than to be in a relationship that creates a lot of negative emotions and unnecessary stress in my life. It's scary, I definitely had thoughts like "what if you don't ever find anyone else better" and "what if this is not that bad as my mind makes it to be and I should try even harder to fix the relationship". However i realise that i was not happy for a very long time and i genuinely tried to make everything better. So right now my best choice is just to learn how to be happy alone and improve myself.
@@SolomonDarbey I've been doing what you covered in this video for about 1.5 years now, actually. I've had several successes and failures. Keep at it, lads.
This is very important, as men we're traditionally told to avoid our feelings which ultimately culminates in a lot of negativity and pain. It's nice to see the culture slowly shifting to a healthier perspective.
This was a cool video , especially the realistic part of going to an aisle to avoid someone lol and already having the sponge and dish soap spot on brother lmao
Wow, i’m going through the exact same emotions atm in life, it’s so reassuring to know that other people having the same experience, thanks for the advise and sharing👌🏻
You embraced being lonely yet still had things that women wanted so you still had options. All you did was get into your own head at the end of the day. The same can't be said for many of the rest.
Self dignity and respect come above all else. If a woman stood me up, I would have (and have done in the past) immediately blocked her and moved on. She wouldn't get the chance at a second attempt, sorry. The fact you even responded to her txt was a sign of weakness imo. You being able to say no, though, that took strength. Good for you bro. Always maintain control of your own life. Someone messes with that, messes you about, show them the door asap.
Ive been struggling pretty hard with lonliness for almost 3 months now and you are right, allowing yourself to feel it and not supress it will drive you to work harder toward it. Im almost at the point where I am going to say fuck it and just make a fool of myself in front of strangers until someone matches my vibe
I'm glad that you rejected the second offer. You were put as the 2nd priority. The second option. If you allowed this to happen you will learned your lesson sooner or later:)
Your story made my day, I get those same lonely feeling you get, I´m 21, and I have a good life, I go to the gym, I work, I go to college, have good friends, and I felt now more confident than I ever felt this last few years, when I was depressed and felt life had no meaning, but sometimes at night, I still feel a little empty dealing with the fact that I never found a good partner for me, and I had lots of signals from girls in the past, I just didn´t understand them😆
Most people are exactly the same at 21. I'm 36 and felt the same as you at 21. I am from the generation where we had no dating apps and we had to talk to women face to face in a bar. I missed A LOT of signals when I think back now. If I could go back to being 21 and do it again knowing everything I know now, I would just confidently and kindly ask them if I'm reading the singles wrong. The worst thing that happens is they say yes and you get rejected. But I'm middle aged now and I live with more regrets for not trying more than I ever regret being embarrassed.
I had ptsd. I perceived the world with psychotic hallucinations. Until one day I had this therapist that gave me her mindfulness recordings. And the hallucinations were gone and I’m a free man!
LMFAO. I was playing OSRS while watching this, and I hadn't even music turned on, but I was totally flabbergasted when I heared the music, because what's the damn chance?! And this story was so beautiful, I had to cry for real. You're a very lucky man! Wish you the best!
This is why you should live being mindful in the moment and never anticipate the future going well living in your imagination of the future. That way, you can never be disappointed. Things usually never work out the way you imagined them. You should accept things as they come in the moment.
Literally what I have done with my life, I just told myself that you can't get everything in life and not everything's for everyone. So, I just up and left the world of trying of get a partner chasing the connection or intimacy. It's been so long that I don't even know what do I even want, so just stopped trying and have come the conclusion of Imma die alone, and if it's a good day might be with some bros and I just started my 20s. I gave up because life looks bleak If I consider just always trying and failing instead I just thought let's try putting my energy into things in life where I know I'll keep trying no matter how many times I fail. Getting a good career, going to the gym, building a business and if I hit a burnout just travel to somewhere.
Great story and thanks for sharing. I had a similar experience where I woke up one day with the same motivation to get a girls number but never realized where it came from. It wasn’t till I watched this video that I realized it was because I was abstaining from distractions (video games, porn, etc) that I gave myself the opportunity to feel the emotions I had blocked out for so long. Can’t believe this didn’t click before.
me and my ex broke up after couple of good months, she doesnt want intimacy anymore. some days later it hits me and i wonder what went wrong, i saw her that day in a dating app and it broke me even more. i lived with a roommate whom i knew since 1st grade, we had a lot of minor conflicts most of them are about him not giving a damn about keeping the apartment clean and me sometimes cleaning after him so i can live there in the minimalistic way possible. i had enough of his disrespect we brawled the whole thing got blown up after 10 months of contract in the apartment with him, it happened at the same day i saw her in that dating app. that was the worst day of 2024 for me. i have no real friends so even the dilusional option of reaching out to one of them to talk about the other situation was not valid anymore. when you want to talk about your lonliness with someone and you realize you are all alone this is true lonliness. (dont worry im at my parents house for now figuring things out but this video my friend it really touched a very sensitive area in my heart)
Your a good story teller man. I have a similar story except i never got a second chance with the girl. Its crazy when you run into the first girl in your life that likes you as much as much as you like her.
I relate to you a lot regarding being a shy introvert and moving to a new city with no friends. Ive been trying to approach girls for a few months and after failing time and time again i got so depressed that i stopped trying. I'm gonna try to just sit with my emotions for a while and hope it helps because otherwise i dont know what to do
Maybe that works when you're attractive but when you're not you essentially don't even register as a person to other people's brains. No one looks and smiles at me or whatever. I don't exist. I've tried going to the gym, meeting people, getting into clubs or whatever. There's just something wrong with me and no amount of ""confidence"" can cover it up. I'm simply not enough, no matter how much effort I put in and that's that.
Maybe the gym and clubs aren't your scene. They're not mine. I want to find like minded gamers but there's nowhere locally for me to do that so I barely get any attention and spend a lot of time alone. I used to go to clubs etc and got attention occasionally but it's shallow and from drunk people it doesn't feel like a compliment. Keep doing you bro, put yourself out there on TH-cam maybe? You'll find you're probably in the majority of how most men feel. This world seems great if you're typically beautiful but for them they're mainly liked for how they look, which doesn't attract real friends or partners who care for them fully so be careful what you wish for basically.
Exactly... this guy is having random women smile and flirt with him?? I am nearly 30 and have never experienced this. Really feels like im a ghost to women
Damn, this hit really close to home, especially since moving around this time last year and still navigating a balance between work, dating and making new friends. Thank you for sharing your stories here, man. It was great to hear a similar perspective on things like this. Also, is that MIDI music I hear in the background? If so, that's cool as hell haha. Cheers!
Greatest things humanity has produced has indeed came from negative emotions, loneliness and sadness, including my perma ban on league. Blessing in disguise 💯
Hahahaha I relate to this hard bro
I need a war thunder perm ban
yeppp during covid i was suppa depressed
but that shit caused me to loose weight. so i became skinny. now ive been building muscle & have never felt better
They did you a favor with that ban
i also got perma banned and all i did was not know how to play the game and running into enemy base constantly with garen lmao, so i created a new account and now I am level 106 shaco main mastery 11
I stayed single, started setting boundaries and isolated for a good 6 months to make sure I could love myself before another relationship.
Started therapy, started meditation.
When you feel the pain and depression it gets better afterwords.
Now iv met 2 new friends, have a date in a month and im going back to school next year.
Its crazy what happens when you recognize your inner deeper feelings.
Amazing!! So happy for you bro.
How did the date go?
Who organises dates for a month in advance??
@technov1deo dude, women keep themselves ridiculously busy these days. I was in a relationship for 10 years, spent almost a year single and trying to set up a date now is like pulling teeth. I met up with a girl, 1st and only date, and at the end she said she wanted to see me again. Pulled out her phone, showed me her calendar and she wasnt free for a whole 8 and a bit weeks and then mostly full after that too. So I said no thanks then and there... Like wtf? If you won't actually make time and move stuff around to get to know me, I'm making zero effort and shutting you out.
So now we don't talk, blocked each other and deleted our numbers (I think, I certainly deleted and blocked her).
@@thevoicewithin9845
Honestly if a girl likes you they will clear their plans and see you the next day. Or at least within a few days.
I've never organised a date more than a week in advance.
If they can't see me within a week, I'll assume they don't want to see me at all
Feeling like an idiot is something i really understand.
Now I am trying my best to not be attached to people and learn how to leave my life alone.
I'd say it's good to learn detachment, and at the same time, Being honest with myself, I craved intimacy and closeness, it's normal to feel that - even if finding it is difficult.
" I said no and then played LoL until 5 a.m " bro you are so real for this one xD
Hahahaha anyone who relates to us knows this isn't an exaggeration at all
He made the right decision.
Girls like that are a waste of time.
@@TheFracturedfuture It was a 2 in one, He dodged a bullet, and LEARNED from it at the same time.
I believe that dismissing the second chance actually was a good decision. It is called self love and self respect. If she was really into you and had respect, she proved that to you the upcoming days.
The thing is most of the time their excuses are not valid. So don't be so accessible to girls who cancelled the first date.
What bothers me the most is that why she didn't at the very least inform him ahead of the time? It's simple courtesy, a simple heads up before the actual time would be nice rather than let the guy wait alone for 30 minutes.
Great point, I think if I had said no due to what you said it would've been good - I was just too embarrassed and scared though. Sometimes the wrong working out, gives the right answer 😅
@@japz321Theres a very good possibility that it was a ego boost type thing. She knows a guy is currently waiting on her and she denies him, making her feel self-assured and giving a confidence boost.
@@SolomonDarbey '' I need to watch over my friend...''
No, some other dude she's more interested in texted her, but when she knew they weren't gonna meet she magically became available to meet you.
It’s a different level of comfort to know that you’re not alone and others feel the same way you do I hope you and everyone else in the world gets the love they deserve ❤
Totally agreed, I hope people relate to the vulnerability and realise that these types of experiences are normal!
@@necianuni you're right. And it seems so common now for men to experience difficulty when it comes to dating. Women have too many options where as men have not enough.
remember us when you’re famous bro
Hahahaha, stop it. The fact thousands of ppl are watching is scrambling my brain.
@@SolomonDarbey yeah 26k is absolutely crazy and i’m sure it’s just the beginning!! 🫶🏼
This was a great message against self sabotage. Don't rage quit, see things out till the bitter end cause you never know the end result. Leave with no regrets.
Exactly bro, I self sabotaged so long and considered myself unlucky...
thanks for the support
Just like a mp match in call of duty, never stop fighting against the other teams hacker, cuz you can still win. 😅😅
If this guy gets rejected on Tinder, we're all fucked for real
You have so much courage to say this out on a public platform, man. Millions of men worldwide face this at all ages. No one is there to listen to them. But you said all this and it takes courage.
Honestly speaking I felt you had self-respect saying no. I was not expecting that the first story
A few people have said this actually, thanks for the feedback brother ❤
You really have a gift for storytelling, this channel is for sure growing
Trying to improve something every video, really tried to paint a picture with this one, so I'm glad you enjoyed it bro
Telling her "no" was the correct decision. She told you a fake story. You were probably the 5th dude she had lined up for free drinks.
😆
Exactly!
Saying no means you have standards! Telling her no would have rocked her way more than it did you!
Besides, as soon as a girl messes you about, plays with your feelings, tries to take control of the situation or relationship as a whole, those are all red flags. GTFO of there ASAP.
Woman stands you up, block her, move on.
Hot girl shows you a red flag, like potentially a narcissist and/or has daddy issues and wants to play princess, tell her no and walk away. Trust me. You did yourself a favour by saying no. Personally, I would have blocked her the moment she stood me up and would never have given her another chance to contact me. But at least the guy said no in the end!
Show women you have standards, self respect and dignity. Who gives a crap if you played LoL instead of going on a date!? If you can't be happy doing something on your own like gaming, you'll never find happiness with a partner.
Repeated Social Defeat is one of the most crippling traumas out there. You could so innocently lead yourself to severe unrecognized problems if you can't distinguish "it didn't work out, try again" from "I don't deserve this anyways".
Thank you for sharing your story! Appreciate you. Gained a follower.
I didn't expect this random video I clicked on to give me actual good advice. I think the most important thing is not to fall into this feeling of desparation. People will also sense that you are desparate and that's not really attractive. I think you really did the right thing by saying no to that first girl. It shows that you have respect for yourself. At the same time you should also respect your emotions and not push them away. In the end the best approach is to not think about it too much and get too into your head about it. Just as you did with the last girl.
don’t usually watch smaller creators, but you have the character to be something big keep it up man respect
I really appreciate the love bro, thanks!!
I felt the same way lately. It's better now. I'm cultivating my passions, rather than desperately looking for someone else. I felt like I was getting a big hug watching this video. u have it, keep going!💗
Awww, cultivating your passions sounds exciting. Glad we could connect on this issue ❤
The sad truth is that most guys are lonely because THEY CHOOSE to sit inside every evening watching netflix, playing computer games, youtube and doomscrolling.
Friendships are made outside of your house and they are truly built by regular and consistent experience together in person
True bro, the decisions you make are who you are. Make different decisions and who you 'are' changes.
ive made the best friendships online
Not true. Men need to be good looking to have relationships. Women don't
Feel this. Due to circumstances I commuted an hour to college and still had to take care of my brother. Always..sad I couldn’t have the ideal college experience. Though my last year was such a struggle, after graduating I didn’t want to go back unless I had to. Now a year later, working an entry level job I’m not really passionate about while my social circle never really moved an inch. Most days after work it’s so easy to just zone out and game the rest of the night away. Though that only lasts so long before the day begins again. The ultimatum seems so black and white: stay at this level, or get your ass back to school for a higher quality of life. I struggled with the idea/fear of losing motivation and I still do to an extent. But I’d like to believe what I’m lacking is discipline - getting back to a regular gym schedule, making time for my hobbies outside of just video games, and also a better mindset. To which I mean trying to enjoy the journey rather than just the destination. Wishing everyone luck on their journey..!
Okay, but it's difficult to go to stuff alone and even if i choose to go, it's difficult to get to know other people 'cause of social anxiety
I get the feeling if people already are at a place as a group together you don't want this random dude you don't know joining you and making things awkward, as the random dude doesn't know anything about anybody in the group and thus it's hard to get conversations to go smoothly and naturally
I have no choice but to be lonely. I'm Goth, I dress differently and although I'd say I'm a pretty cool and chill person it doesn't matter because people can't relate. I didn't know you had to relate aesthetic and music wise to be friends with someone... I thought other factors played a role.. like personality. I am watching this video because I'm 29, I've been lonely since I was 14. I look younger than my age. 20-25.. I hate the loneliness but when you choose to express yourself, you get ostracized.. I'm attractive, artistic, and funny but people don't know anything about me because they don't give me a chance. I already accepted my fate.. I have to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone have the life I want. Friends, love, dates, relationships and etc..
You don't have to fix yourself in a box. I too once believed I'm a loner. Had only a bunch of friends in college(with whom i talked occassionally) and avoided opposite gender like a plague. This only reinforced my beliefs about myself.
What helped me was just going out and meeting people in tech events and having something to talk about. You don't have to be like this.
Peace.
You are me and I am you.
@@akshay-kumar-007 I tried all of that.. but thanks, peace.
I'm glad to hear you say good things about yourself, I find that hard sometimes. I think there is definitely a game to be played when meeting partners, but there's a balance, you must also express yourself, or there'll be no authenticity and you won't connect.
Why do you think people don't give you a chance?
Every town/city has at least some sort of goth community...usually through music gigs. Genuinly feel sorry if youv not even attempted to go to them regularly.
*Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.*
Bro I am currently in a situation - where I have a crush on an ex-colleague and I regret every single day that I have not asked her out or attempted to get more close - i genuinely felt that i found someone that can be a suitable partner for me in the long-term. I tried even connecting on social media and took a step far to message request here to get a conversation going - she did not even respond nor acknowledge the message , I waited and waited and started to develop negative and lonely thoughts now currently I am taking a break from social media to try and move on from the person and try to see it as a lesson. Good video man.
Hey bro, one thing really stood out to me.
You mentioned at the start that you have regret for not pursuing things with this girl (believe me i know the feeling), what I find interesting is that you then conquered this fear (hard asf to do) but then you see it as a failure because she didn't respond.
Brother, the fact you even SENT the message means you are a beast, you have to think about what YOU did that was good, not how she responded that was bad. Proud of you and thanks for the support
@@SolomonDarbeyW response G. Focus on the action, not the outcome. Control your controllables, forget about the rest.
I had similar stories brother. I’ve lost all of my friends from high school and from middle school, just because they knew me of my old version. No one could understand me truely and I was always a joke in conversations. I always followed people, did what they asked. I was trying to be a good person as evenly as possible. A white knight on a white horse you know. A main character of an anime, pure gold good heart. But being a “good guy” is not always good.
You did a good job not going to the pub in your first story. Because that girl dumped you the first time and probably her story was a lie as well.
And you are absolutely right about feeling emotions to their end. We shouldn’t distract ourselves from a sad, depressing moment. 1 month ago when I argued with all of my high school friends, declaring war to them etc. I lost all of them intentionally and I literally cried 3 hours in my room with minimal moon light coming to my room from outside. I thought so much while I was crying. I accepted everything I went through. Removed every last one of my supposedly “high school friends” and my Villain Arc journey has started.
The thing is, I have total freedom right now. I am absolutely alone but at least I respect myself and I’m ready to make new connections with new people. Of course I won’t become a total evil villain, I just quit being a total good guy in every occasion.
I started doing calisthenics, caring my hygiene more and changing my style of appearance. Like a remake of a video game. Of course I am still myself, but first thing that I will care about in the future will be me instead of other people. We shouldn’t put others in first(except family or really close friends).
This isn’t only about crying in a room for 3 hours. I’ve literally accepted everything. My mistakes, my failures, my weaknesses(I have Speech Fluency Disorder for 11 years) my nature and these’s opposites. When I embraced myself, I started to care less about future. I started just to live the present, carpe diem.
If I need to cry again in the future, I will do it because us humans need to live these emotions fully. In order to ascend from the ground, we need to fall completely, seeing the desperation once but also hope afterwards!
Wow.
Sorry to hear that your friends treated you that way, very impressed that you realised how you were behaving partially created those situations. That lesson took me so long to learn.
Well done for allowing yourself to feel that emotion without resorting to distracting yourself. You know reading your comment, I was proud and then concerned and then inspired hahaha.
You seem to have stumbled across EXACTLY what I stumbled across, even down to you talking about weaknesses and failures.
My next video is going to be on embarrassment and I'd love to know your thoughts ❤️
Yea the numbing the pain thing and essentially coasting by taking no action because you are distracting yourself just enough is relatable and something I've been trying my best to avoid.
I think you did the right thing in saying no to the first girl. Waiting until 30 mins after you planned to meet up with someone to tell them you can't make it is very rude.
Thanks brother. I needed this.
I'll no longer distract myself by daydreaming.
Subbed!
You're welcome, please report back how you find things when you distract yourself less, I'd love to know :)
Nmm how did it go :3?
I spent years building myself into a man with a physique like an MCU superhero and an outgoing, charismatic personality, which was hard because I was a skinny introvert as a kid. I talked to pretty much everyone at my local supermarket, including a girl who I thought was cute. A little while later, the manager, who I knew and was friendly with, pulled me aside and told me that she'd filed a complaint about me for making her feel uncomfortable. I'd never said anything rude, crude, or inappropriate to her, never asked for her number or anything.
I'm in great shape so a while later, 2 girls who worked there came up and asked if they could feel my biceps. I let them and we talked for a bit until I excused myself. They were obviously interested in me and asked when I'd be back. I said I didn't know, but we'd see each other again. The next time I saw them, they completely avoided me and wouldn't even look at me.
Those are 2 of many, many examples, but I'm at the point now where I can't hope or try anymore, because life has proven to me over and over again that whenever I do, not only will things not work out, I'm likely to make them worse.
Chin up broski. Fuck that person that wanted to file a complaint on you. Dudes can’t even talk to a girl without being labelled a creep. It’s not you. It’s society. You’re doing nothing wrong. Keep going brother
The best way to overcome a feeling is to face it head on and understand it and where it comes from. Amazing video, bro! I loved the style of this!
It’s wild how we live in an age that connects us all but nobody wants to reach out to one another. I’ve given up making friends completely and it FeelsGoodMan.
One of the most wholesome and relatable videos ive seen in this sea of brainrot i get on YT usually. You are very good at telling those stories man. 18 minutes passed like 5. Thank you!!
You know, a girl I really liked, that was my girlfriend for about three and a half years, she one day just lied to me, and hurt me so deeply that I broke. For months I was so sad, so miserable, but I never tried to hide my feelings, never tried to distract myself from the sadness, the sorrow and the pain. 7 or 8 months later, almost all the bad feelings are gone, and I feel so much better, even better than before.
I really loved that girl, she arrived at my life when I was looking for the same than you: a deep and meaningful connection with someone. Eventually she was gone, my life changed, and the connection was lost. But right now, everything is just better. Let you feel your feelings friends, it's the best way to arise stronger and mature after everything was hurting you
As of 2024 dating was terrible for me all of the relationships I had this year failed and I had friends for a while and unfortunately they started ghosting me and not inviting me out eventually we had a falling out. I isolated myself from people I stopped dating . I picked up boxing as a new hobby and I started playing basketball (I might apply for tryouts next year ). I'm working on my relationship with God. College grades improved. Right now I'm happier now with myself.
Ngl man. I kind of needed this video, sometimes I self sabotage a lot with girls. "What if she's boring, what if I don't find her attractive on the date" so what, just see it through no matter what and take a chance. It will at least be an experience.
Thanks for being vulnerable, great video mate.
Thanks for the support mate
As a fellow introvert, I have become more confident in being myself and talking to people. I approach women every once in a while. But I just feel alone too. All my high school friends have drifted away from each other after graduation (2023) so I don't have any friends at all. Just acquaintances. I've tried online dating before but it doesn't go anywhere. I'm on SR with a long streak so far (been practicing it since 17, i'm 20 now). I feel like women don't find me attractive or interesting and the amount of times i've been rejected doesn't motivate me to approach more women. So now i'm just focusing/distracting myself with work and getting to my goals
I was feeling ugly recently but I discovered your channel and it’s an absolute goldmine
Being average is a super power bro, glad you like the vids
Clearly there is a level beyond introversion, cause I can never act on what I want when it comes to communicating with other people. But I also don’t like talking much. Loneliness is just the destiny for some.
You're lucky that you can recognize non verbal communication. I think I'm autistic or something. I just played video games and other copes, didn't bother with girls. Sometimes I'm lonely, but not that often, I was alienated from childhood so I had to learn how to entertain myself. Plenty of distractions nowadays. I've never been to a pub, only had a few drinks in my life. Good for you, nice story. I'm happy for you.
Aww man, thanks for the kind words, also I can't help but wanna know more.
I dissociated from a young age too, I was completely stuck in a rut until I learned how my mind worked. After that my life transformed.
If even a good looking guy like you isn't getting many matches on Tinder, it's really looking bad for the rest of us. Dating apps are brutal.
Using gaming as a cope to to deal with sadness and loneliness is definitely something a lot of us guys have in common.
l really liked this video. You're a good storyteller and being vulnerable on camera isn't easy. It's great that you approached someone and got her number. Even if things didn't last too long, it was still a W.
Hopefully this video goes even more viral. More guys should watch it.
Its sorta like working out, your "heart" is a muscle, and it gets sore the harder you use it. But the more you do the less sore it gets and the more you can handle and achieve with it.
And that part about seeing those thoughts and feelings through to the end is the best exercise you can do. Don't dwell, don't distract, just feel.
I just ended an almost two year relationship, which lasted that long mostly because of my inner fear to be alone. I finally made the step to rather embrace the loneliness than to be in a relationship that creates a lot of negative emotions and unnecessary stress in my life. It's scary, I definitely had thoughts like "what if you don't ever find anyone else better" and "what if this is not that bad as my mind makes it to be and I should try even harder to fix the relationship". However i realise that i was not happy for a very long time and i genuinely tried to make everything better. So right now my best choice is just to learn how to be happy alone and improve myself.
You got what is called heartbreak swag, its so fucking good
Guys DO NOT EVER use dating apps. This is not how you get true love. You will just get hurt
every runescape kid I swear. Good stuff man
As an introvert... trust me finding someone on tinder is 10000% harder than real life.
Well said. I can definitely relate to the disappointments and loneliness. Thank you sir.
Glad you related bro, you manage to use it in a positive way?
@@SolomonDarbey I've been doing what you covered in this video for about 1.5 years now, actually. I've had several successes and failures. Keep at it, lads.
This is very important, as men we're traditionally told to avoid our feelings which ultimately culminates in a lot of negativity and pain. It's nice to see the culture slowly shifting to a healthier perspective.
So true, kept me trapped for a long time avoiding those feelings.
This was a cool video , especially the realistic part of going to an aisle to avoid someone lol and already having the sponge and dish soap spot on brother lmao
Wow, i’m going through the exact same emotions atm in life, it’s so reassuring to know that other people having the same experience, thanks for the advise and sharing👌🏻
I've never seen this type of video before. Thanks for the genuine advice. Subscribed!
honestly one of the best videos I've seen in a while, so real bro
thanks for the support bro ❤
You embraced being lonely yet still had things that women wanted so you still had options. All you did was get into your own head at the end of the day. The same can't be said for many of the rest.
Self dignity and respect come above all else. If a woman stood me up, I would have (and have done in the past) immediately blocked her and moved on. She wouldn't get the chance at a second attempt, sorry. The fact you even responded to her txt was a sign of weakness imo. You being able to say no, though, that took strength. Good for you bro. Always maintain control of your own life. Someone messes with that, messes you about, show them the door asap.
The people that end up being life partners are often people that happen to start liking you by chance
Ive been struggling pretty hard with lonliness for almost 3 months now and you are right, allowing yourself to feel it and not supress it will drive you to work harder toward it. Im almost at the point where I am going to say fuck it and just make a fool of myself in front of strangers until someone matches my vibe
I would LOVE if you give this a go, and update me the results.
I'm glad that you rejected the second offer. You were put as the 2nd priority. The second option.
If you allowed this to happen you will learned your lesson sooner or later:)
Rejecting second chance was so sigma. Yeah guys we must to respect yourselves
Legion of me. Sent me here! Great story. Courageous! Keep grinding.
Your story made my day, I get those same lonely feeling you get, I´m 21, and I have a good life, I go to the gym, I work, I go to college, have good friends, and I felt now more confident than I ever felt this last few years, when I was depressed and felt life had no meaning, but sometimes at night, I still feel a little empty dealing with the fact that I never found a good partner for me, and I had lots of signals from girls in the past, I just didn´t understand them😆
Most people are exactly the same at 21. I'm 36 and felt the same as you at 21. I am from the generation where we had no dating apps and we had to talk to women face to face in a bar. I missed A LOT of signals when I think back now. If I could go back to being 21 and do it again knowing everything I know now, I would just confidently and kindly ask them if I'm reading the singles wrong. The worst thing that happens is they say yes and you get rejected. But I'm middle aged now and I live with more regrets for not trying more than I ever regret being embarrassed.
I had ptsd. I perceived the world with psychotic hallucinations. Until one day I had this therapist that gave me her mindfulness recordings. And the hallucinations were gone and I’m a free man!
LMFAO. I was playing OSRS while watching this, and I hadn't even music turned on, but I was totally flabbergasted when I heared the music, because what's the damn chance?! And this story was so beautiful, I had to cry for real. You're a very lucky man! Wish you the best!
Thank you for this video, it feels so authentic and real, you are gonna make it on yt
Thanks for the love bro
Bro saying no after being fucked around was a baller move
Layed the game down haha, I like it, great video with immaculate production.
Thanks, definitely levelled up the editing on this one!! ❤️
Significantly improved production 👏 🎉
Keep speaking from your heart 'bro'!!!!
Glad you liked it!! ❤️
I'm a very indecisive person by nature so this video was great. Last story made me smile haha. Much love man 🫶
Please let me know if what I said helps you! Love brother ❤
Runescape music is just so good
Absolute banger
It’s shocking to me how similar all of our experiences are as guys. Much love brothers, stay up. ❤
this is on track to blow up, thank you for telling your story and sharing a lesson you've learnt
Honestly getting 500 views feels like I've blown up already, can barely believe thousands have listened to it bro. Thanks!!
This is why you should live being mindful in the moment and never anticipate the future going well living in your imagination of the future. That way, you can never be disappointed. Things usually never work out the way you imagined them. You should accept things as they come in the moment.
I’m still in the lonely cycle
good job saying no.
Thank you for being vulnerable ❤
All good brother, hope you liked the vid :)
Literally what I have done with my life, I just told myself that you can't get everything in life and not everything's for everyone. So, I just up and left the world of trying of get a partner chasing the connection or intimacy.
It's been so long that I don't even know what do I even want, so just stopped trying and have come the conclusion of Imma die alone, and if it's a good day might be with some bros and I just started my 20s.
I gave up because life looks bleak If I consider just always trying and failing instead I just thought let's try putting my energy into things in life where I know I'll keep trying no matter how many times I fail. Getting a good career, going to the gym, building a business and if I hit a burnout just travel to somewhere.
Bro you’re in your 20s. Your life’s just started man
damn.
inspiring story. i'm gonna lean into the loneliness and anxiety as much as I can.
I’ll claim my ticket before fame. I am the 900 sub, keep up the good work
This is such a great vifeo, and that story of meeting the Tesco girl is so funny and endearing 🤣 i needed to hear this man
Great story and thanks for sharing. I had a similar experience where I woke up one day with the same motivation to get a girls number but never realized where it came from. It wasn’t till I watched this video that I realized it was because I was abstaining from distractions (video games, porn, etc) that I gave myself the opportunity to feel the emotions I had blocked out for so long. Can’t believe this didn’t click before.
me and my ex broke up after couple of good months, she doesnt want intimacy anymore. some days later it hits me and i wonder what went wrong, i saw her that day in a dating app and it broke me even more. i lived with a roommate whom i knew since 1st grade, we had a lot of minor conflicts most of them are about him not giving a damn about keeping the apartment clean and me sometimes cleaning after him so i can live there in the minimalistic way possible. i had enough of his disrespect we brawled the whole thing got blown up after 10 months of contract in the apartment with him, it happened at the same day i saw her in that dating app. that was the worst day of 2024 for me. i have no real friends so even the dilusional option of reaching out to one of them to talk about the other situation was not valid anymore. when you want to talk about your lonliness with someone and you realize you are all alone this is true lonliness. (dont worry im at my parents house for now figuring things out but this video my friend it really touched a very sensitive area in my heart)
Your a good story teller man. I have a similar story except i never got a second chance with the girl. Its crazy when you run into the first girl in your life that likes you as much as much as you like her.
If it's okay, I'd love to hear the story! :)
I like the RuneScape music. I noticed that!
Yes bro!! ❤️
Same, ahahaha.
@@SolomonDarbey What title is used here? :D
i related this this way more than i thought i did lol you've unironically inspired me
Good shit man respect the hustle
Those who don't know how to truly carve in the feeling of defeat, wont know what its like to be on the side of victory.
Same thing here mate, thanks for having the guts to speak honestly for us!
lovely watch from big bro after a long day at work.
That software ain't gonna sell itself, Ty bro ❤️
Feel you bro. Thanks for sharing 🙏
Subbed for the nice content +dungeon synth scoobydoo intrigue bgm
Ty!! ❤
I relate to you a lot regarding being a shy introvert and moving to a new city with no friends.
Ive been trying to approach girls for a few months and after failing time and time again i got so depressed that i stopped trying.
I'm gonna try to just sit with my emotions for a while and hope it helps because otherwise i dont know what to do
I wish story 3 ended like 2 and 1 would be funny
really good advice and was impressed with the video quality ❣
Thanks for the love bro, definitely my fav vid so far
I feel you ,this is so touching ❤
Glad you related ❤
The fact that TH-cam recommended this to me out of the blue lol, even though I haven’t searched up anything like this before
Maybe that works when you're attractive but when you're not you essentially don't even register as a person to other people's brains. No one looks and smiles at me or whatever. I don't exist.
I've tried going to the gym, meeting people, getting into clubs or whatever. There's just something wrong with me and no amount of ""confidence"" can cover it up. I'm simply not enough, no matter how much effort I put in and that's that.
Maybe the gym and clubs aren't your scene. They're not mine. I want to find like minded gamers but there's nowhere locally for me to do that so I barely get any attention and spend a lot of time alone. I used to go to clubs etc and got attention occasionally but it's shallow and from drunk people it doesn't feel like a compliment. Keep doing you bro, put yourself out there on TH-cam maybe? You'll find you're probably in the majority of how most men feel. This world seems great if you're typically beautiful but for them they're mainly liked for how they look, which doesn't attract real friends or partners who care for them fully so be careful what you wish for basically.
Exactly... this guy is having random women smile and flirt with him?? I am nearly 30 and have never experienced this. Really feels like im a ghost to women
Damn, this hit really close to home, especially since moving around this time last year and still navigating a balance between work, dating and making new friends. Thank you for sharing your stories here, man. It was great to hear a similar perspective on things like this. Also, is that MIDI music I hear in the background? If so, that's cool as hell haha. Cheers!
You're wisdom is transforming my life 🎉❤
I don't want to get laid, I just want s meaningful and long lasting relationship again
man's pickup line is "you work here don't you" xD legendary haha
Such an exciting and beautiful story! I felt you throughout the telling. Keep it up man😊
putting your runescape grinding capabilities into real life is a cheat code
So true, people think they lack motivation, usually they're just motivated to do things that don't make their life happier.
gosh it sucks to be introverted but it's really a fun experience
There's downsides, but I love it man - wouldn't change it for the world.