Why I embraced being lonely and how it got me laid

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 290

  • @ata_473
    @ata_473 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +330

    Greatest things humanity has produced has indeed came from negative emotions, loneliness and sadness, including my perma ban on league. Blessing in disguise 💯

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +14

      Hahahaha I relate to this hard bro

    • @lamilanesa99
      @lamilanesa99 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      I need a war thunder perm ban

    • @SeriousStudent603
      @SeriousStudent603 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      yeppp during covid i was suppa depressed
      but that shit caused me to loose weight. so i became skinny. now ive been building muscle & have never felt better

  • @lin75575
    @lin75575 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +125

    Feeling like an idiot is something i really understand.
    Now I am trying my best to not be attached to people and learn how to leave my life alone.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  21 วันที่ผ่านมา +25

      I'd say it's good to learn detachment, and at the same time, Being honest with myself, I craved intimacy and closeness, it's normal to feel that - even if finding it is difficult.

  • @flyaway6671
    @flyaway6671 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    This was a great message against self sabotage. Don't rage quit, see things out till the bitter end cause you never know the end result. Leave with no regrets.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Exactly bro, I self sabotaged so long and considered myself unlucky...
      thanks for the support

  • @necianuni
    @necianuni 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +97

    It’s a different level of comfort to know that you’re not alone and others feel the same way you do I hope you and everyone else in the world gets the love they deserve ❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  22 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

      Totally agreed, I hope people relate to the vulnerability and realise that these types of experiences are normal!

    • @Liam-m3x6d
      @Liam-m3x6d 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      @@necianuni you're right. And it seems so common now for men to experience difficulty when it comes to dating. Women have too many options where as men have not enough.

  • @alitava6844
    @alitava6844 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +80

    I believe that dismissing the second chance actually was a good decision. It is called self love and self respect. If she was really into you and had respect, she proved that to you the upcoming days.
    The thing is most of the time their excuses are not valid. So don't be so accessible to girls who cancelled the first date.

    • @japz321
      @japz321 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      What bothers me the most is that why she didn't at the very least inform him ahead of the time? It's simple courtesy, a simple heads up before the actual time would be nice rather than let the guy wait alone for 30 minutes.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Great point, I think if I had said no due to what you said it would've been good - I was just too embarrassed and scared though. Sometimes the wrong working out, gives the right answer 😅

  • @gulakov9006
    @gulakov9006 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +84

    " I said no and then played LoL until 5 a.m " bro you are so real for this one xD

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Hahahaha anyone who relates to us knows this isn't an exaggeration at all

    • @TheFracturedfuture
      @TheFracturedfuture วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      He made the right decision.
      Girls like that are a waste of time.

    • @WorldKeepsSpinnin
      @WorldKeepsSpinnin วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@TheFracturedfuture It was a 2 in one, He dodged a bullet, and LEARNED from it at the same time.

  • @NerdAlert66
    @NerdAlert66 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +43

    I stayed single, started setting boundaries and isolated for a good 6 months to make sure I could love myself before another relationship.
    Started therapy, started meditation.
    When you feel the pain and depression it gets better afterwords.
    Now iv met 2 new friends, have a date in a month and im going back to school next year.
    Its crazy what happens when you recognize your inner deeper feelings.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Amazing!! So happy for you bro.

  • @austinfeener8166
    @austinfeener8166 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +32

    You really have a gift for storytelling, this channel is for sure growing

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Trying to improve something every video, really tried to paint a picture with this one, so I'm glad you enjoyed it bro

  • @anamariadraghici6506
    @anamariadraghici6506 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +21

    I felt the same way lately. It's better now. I'm cultivating my passions, rather than desperately looking for someone else. I felt like I was getting a big hug watching this video. u have it, keep going!💗

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Awww, cultivating your passions sounds exciting. Glad we could connect on this issue ❤

  • @aleenachaudhry4892
    @aleenachaudhry4892 9 วันที่ผ่านมา +33

    remember us when you’re famous bro

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Hahahaha, stop it. The fact thousands of ppl are watching is scrambling my brain.

    • @aleenachaudhry4892
      @aleenachaudhry4892 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@SolomonDarbey yeah 26k is absolutely crazy and i’m sure it’s just the beginning!! 🫶🏼

  • @scaratlas3347
    @scaratlas3347 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +19

    Honestly speaking I felt you had self-respect saying no. I was not expecting that the first story

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      A few people have said this actually, thanks for the feedback brother ❤

  • @scottaguilar2326
    @scottaguilar2326 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    Thanks for being vulnerable, great video mate.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thanks for the support mate

  • @MathewParker2008
    @MathewParker2008 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I was feeling ugly recently but I discovered your channel and it’s an absolute goldmine

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Being average is a super power bro, glad you like the vids

  • @inreisen
    @inreisen 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    I had similar stories brother. I’ve lost all of my friends from high school and from middle school, just because they knew me of my old version. No one could understand me truely and I was always a joke in conversations. I always followed people, did what they asked. I was trying to be a good person as evenly as possible. A white knight on a white horse you know. A main character of an anime, pure gold good heart. But being a “good guy” is not always good.
    You did a good job not going to the pub in your first story. Because that girl dumped you the first time and probably her story was a lie as well.
    And you are absolutely right about feeling emotions to their end. We shouldn’t distract ourselves from a sad, depressing moment. 1 month ago when I argued with all of my high school friends, declaring war to them etc. I lost all of them intentionally and I literally cried 3 hours in my room with minimal moon light coming to my room from outside. I thought so much while I was crying. I accepted everything I went through. Removed every last one of my supposedly “high school friends” and my Villain Arc journey has started.
    The thing is, I have total freedom right now. I am absolutely alone but at least I respect myself and I’m ready to make new connections with new people. Of course I won’t become a total evil villain, I just quit being a total good guy in every occasion.
    I started doing calisthenics, caring my hygiene more and changing my style of appearance. Like a remake of a video game. Of course I am still myself, but first thing that I will care about in the future will be me instead of other people. We shouldn’t put others in first(except family or really close friends).
    This isn’t only about crying in a room for 3 hours. I’ve literally accepted everything. My mistakes, my failures, my weaknesses(I have Speech Fluency Disorder for 11 years) my nature and these’s opposites. When I embraced myself, I started to care less about future. I started just to live the present, carpe diem.
    If I need to cry again in the future, I will do it because us humans need to live these emotions fully. In order to ascend from the ground, we need to fall completely, seeing the desperation once but also hope afterwards!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Wow.
      Sorry to hear that your friends treated you that way, very impressed that you realised how you were behaving partially created those situations. That lesson took me so long to learn.
      Well done for allowing yourself to feel that emotion without resorting to distracting yourself. You know reading your comment, I was proud and then concerned and then inspired hahaha.
      You seem to have stumbled across EXACTLY what I stumbled across, even down to you talking about weaknesses and failures.
      My next video is going to be on embarrassment and I'd love to know your thoughts ❤️

  • @jermasbiggestfan7796
    @jermasbiggestfan7796 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Well said. I can definitely relate to the disappointments and loneliness. Thank you sir.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you related bro, you manage to use it in a positive way?

    • @jermasbiggestfan7796
      @jermasbiggestfan7796 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      @@SolomonDarbey I've been doing what you covered in this video for about 1.5 years now, actually. I've had several successes and failures. Keep at it, lads.

  • @crnicerak
    @crnicerak 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +57

    don’t usually watch smaller creators, but you have the character to be something big keep it up man respect

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +10

      I really appreciate the love bro, thanks!!

  • @akshay-kumar-007
    @akshay-kumar-007 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

    Thanks brother. I needed this.
    I'll no longer distract myself by daydreaming.
    Subbed!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      You're welcome, please report back how you find things when you distract yourself less, I'd love to know :)

    • @yossefsaafan9595
      @yossefsaafan9595 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Nmm how did it go :3?

  • @williamk398
    @williamk398 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you for this video, it feels so authentic and real, you are gonna make it on yt

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Thanks for the love bro

  • @retrowave8232
    @retrowave8232 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +18

    Bro I am currently in a situation - where I have a crush on an ex-colleague and I regret every single day that I have not asked her out or attempted to get more close - i genuinely felt that i found someone that can be a suitable partner for me in the long-term. I tried even connecting on social media and took a step far to message request here to get a conversation going - she did not even respond nor acknowledge the message , I waited and waited and started to develop negative and lonely thoughts now currently I am taking a break from social media to try and move on from the person and try to see it as a lesson. Good video man.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +11

      Hey bro, one thing really stood out to me.
      You mentioned at the start that you have regret for not pursuing things with this girl (believe me i know the feeling), what I find interesting is that you then conquered this fear (hard asf to do) but then you see it as a failure because she didn't respond.
      Brother, the fact you even SENT the message means you are a beast, you have to think about what YOU did that was good, not how she responded that was bad. Proud of you and thanks for the support

    • @BendikHolthe
      @BendikHolthe 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@SolomonDarbeyW response G. Focus on the action, not the outcome. Control your controllables, forget about the rest.

  • @A_moment_w_Jake
    @A_moment_w_Jake 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    this is on track to blow up, thank you for telling your story and sharing a lesson you've learnt

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Honestly getting 500 views feels like I've blown up already, can barely believe thousands have listened to it bro. Thanks!!

  • @multicreativeartist6579
    @multicreativeartist6579 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    As a fellow introvert, I have become more confident in being myself and talking to people. I approach women every once in a while. But I just feel alone too. All my high school friends have drifted away from each other after graduation (2023) so I don't have any friends at all. Just acquaintances. I've tried online dating before but it doesn't go anywhere. I'm on SR with a long streak so far (been practicing it since 17, i'm 20 now). I feel like women don't find me attractive or interesting and the amount of times i've been rejected doesn't motivate me to approach more women. So now i'm just focusing/distracting myself with work and getting to my goals

  • @NickMeyer-l3f
    @NickMeyer-l3f 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Great video. I do think sometimes we tend to forget the past and stuff it down so far and block it out so sometimes media can remind us of those hurts or traumas we no longer remember, to bring them up to be healed. This is what I discovered about myself in the last few years I was so into yoga and meditating when it was all over and I was alone in a new city just like you I just felt numb and it wasn't until various TV and movies and games reminded me of things from my past that I felt enough emotion to feel like I could heal myself. But yea just like what you said, sitting in the pain and the hurt and the emotion oftentimes does lead to a solution. Thanks for sharing this story.

  • @zeethree
    @zeethree 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    You're lucky that you can recognize non verbal communication. I think I'm autistic or something. I just played video games and other copes, didn't bother with girls. Sometimes I'm lonely, but not that often, I was alienated from childhood so I had to learn how to entertain myself. Plenty of distractions nowadays. I've never been to a pub, only had a few drinks in my life. Good for you, nice story. I'm happy for you.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Aww man, thanks for the kind words, also I can't help but wanna know more.
      I dissociated from a young age too, I was completely stuck in a rut until I learned how my mind worked. After that my life transformed.

  • @WillFrost99
    @WillFrost99 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    I'm a very indecisive person by nature so this video was great. Last story made me smile haha. Much love man 🫶

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Please let me know if what I said helps you! Love brother ❤

  • @sheiladarbey7380
    @sheiladarbey7380 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +8

    Significantly improved production 👏 🎉
    Keep speaking from your heart 'bro'!!!!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Glad you liked it!! ❤️

  • @beags9995
    @beags9995 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    amazing video man, love your editing style. it’s simple but it’s so genuine and relaxing. the music in the background and just you talking. great vido.

  • @naut_nigel
    @naut_nigel 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Thank you for being vulnerable ❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      All good brother, hope you liked the vid :)

  • @newhusk
    @newhusk 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +9

    That's why i love video games. I can live in another world and i dont feel loneliness ❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      I looove video games, I always will... And I craved connection and romance - I just didn't know how to get it.

  • @JiihaaS
    @JiihaaS 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you liked it :)

  • @sebulbadundee459
    @sebulbadundee459 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Ive been struggling pretty hard with lonliness for almost 3 months now and you are right, allowing yourself to feel it and not supress it will drive you to work harder toward it. Im almost at the point where I am going to say fuck it and just make a fool of myself in front of strangers until someone matches my vibe

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      I would LOVE if you give this a go, and update me the results.

  • @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385
    @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +40

    I have no choice but to be lonely. I'm Goth, I dress differently and although I'd say I'm a pretty cool and chill person it doesn't matter because people can't relate. I didn't know you had to relate aesthetic and music wise to be friends with someone... I thought other factors played a role.. like personality. I am watching this video because I'm 29, I've been lonely since I was 14. I look younger than my age. 20-25.. I hate the loneliness but when you choose to express yourself, you get ostracized.. I'm attractive, artistic, and funny but people don't know anything about me because they don't give me a chance. I already accepted my fate.. I have to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone have the life I want. Friends, love, dates, relationships and etc..

    • @akshay-kumar-007
      @akshay-kumar-007 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +13

      You don't have to fix yourself in a box. I too once believed I'm a loner. Had only a bunch of friends in college(with whom i talked occassionally) and avoided opposite gender like a plague. This only reinforced my beliefs about myself.
      What helped me was just going out and meeting people in tech events and having something to talk about. You don't have to be like this.
      Peace.

    • @charmedprince
      @charmedprince 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      You are me and I am you.

    • @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385
      @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      @@akshay-kumar-007 I tried all of that.. but thanks, peace.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

      I'm glad to hear you say good things about yourself, I find that hard sometimes. I think there is definitely a game to be played when meeting partners, but there's a balance, you must also express yourself, or there'll be no authenticity and you won't connect.
      Why do you think people don't give you a chance?

    • @stephenY96
      @stephenY96 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Every town/city has at least some sort of goth community...usually through music gigs. Genuinly feel sorry if youv not even attempted to go to them regularly.

  • @dizking743
    @dizking743 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    honestly one of the best videos I've seen in a while, so real bro

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      thanks for the support bro ❤

  • @rail7646
    @rail7646 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    touching content man, you are very good at describing how it was I directly felt what you felt back then, while listening to it I was so curious what happens next and was hoping what you say next would give you finally something positive to work with. The advice is also quite incredible just feeling yourself without the need to pull for your addictions.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      When you say happens next, you mean after I got her number? Or my dating life afterwards?
      You understood the advice perfectly, ty for the kind words bro

  • @ErenYeager-kr9gu
    @ErenYeager-kr9gu 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    I also recommend living in the present moment, the conversations will start to fall naturally.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Amazing advice, I wanna talk about this more actually.
      How do we actually live in the present?

    • @ErenYeager-kr9gu
      @ErenYeager-kr9gu 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I have been practicing this for over two weeks, and I can already see changes in myself.
      For example, when I eat a meal, I focus solely on eating my food. I savor the taste of my food.
      When I work out at the gym, I don't listen to any music. I focus on my muscles burning. After every set, I look around the gym. Sometimes, I notice things I wouldn't usually notice, and it's so fun. I always try not to let my mind wander but instead focus on living in the moment.
      In the first week, I struggled with living in the moment because my mind would often wander. When that happens, I bring my focus back to the present moment. Completely eliminating short-form content has also helped me live more in the present.
      Benefits I've found in living in the present moment:
      Happiness
      Improved social skills
      These are the benefits I’ve experienced after practicing this for two weeks.
      In my experience, when I started living in the present moment, some negative thoughts and emotions began to surface. When that happened, I allowed myself to feel the negative emotions and then let them fade away. I would imagine a waterfall at the back of my head, visualizing my negative thoughts washing away. After doing this for about two weeks, my negative thoughts started reducing dramatically, and now I’m generally a much happier person. Trust me, when you’re happy within yourself, the people around you feel that too.
      (Sorry, I am not that good at explaining lol)

  • @Tivis7
    @Tivis7 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    This is very important, as men we're traditionally told to avoid our feelings which ultimately culminates in a lot of negativity and pain. It's nice to see the culture slowly shifting to a healthier perspective.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      So true, kept me trapped for a long time avoiding those feelings.

  • @stephenY96
    @stephenY96 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +28

    The sad truth is that most guys are lonely because THEY CHOOSE to sit inside every evening watching netflix, playing computer games, youtube and doomscrolling.
    Friendships are made outside of your house and they are truly built by regular and consistent experience together in person

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      True bro, the decisions you make are who you are. Make different decisions and who you 'are' changes.

    • @KXNNY405
      @KXNNY405 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      ive made the best friendships online

  • @MisteryPlayer13
    @MisteryPlayer13 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thanks for sharing your stories. I've learned a lot from it.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Plenty more where that's from, I've made soooo many mistakes hahaha

  • @juanpablorb7150
    @juanpablorb7150 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    You what man. You're on the right track. I can hear the hope and happiness in your voice. That in and of itself gave me more hopefulness. I've recently lost it.
    Im a little different...extroverted and impulsive with women. I would ask anyone out left and right...but it became too much and I was clearly validating myself that way. It wasn't healthy for me or fair on the other person who I was leading on to a certain degree. I recently ended a relationship and lost my job and everything came crashing down. I'm sitting with all my negative emotions and coming to terms and sticking to self-improving before anything else...I really enjoyed your perspective and it helped get me out of my funk even if just momentarily.
    Thanks for the video Solomon. You seem like a great dude to have a conversation with my man. Best of Luck from Chile
    ps: Go on the date with the Tesco chick!! haha You're in a great headspace to meet someone. I bet if you bring that energy it will turn into something great.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      Damn man, sorry to hear things came crashing down, there's a bunch of things I wanna say but sometimes the best thing to do is just sit in the situation, exactly as it is... shit.
      And then trust yourself that once it passes you'll bounce back, smarter, wiser and older.
      ps: I have a girlfriend now, but you're right - I found the perfect girl when my mind was in the right place to attract it.

  • @logos9391
    @logos9391 6 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    Excellent video and channel bro. Channels like yours have inspired me to start making my own videos.

  • @Malena78-f3p
    @Malena78-f3p 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    I feel you ,this is so touching ❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you related ❤

  • @brianjanssens8020
    @brianjanssens8020 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Those who don't know how to truly carve in the feeling of defeat, wont know what its like to be on the side of victory.

  • @sheiladarbey7380
    @sheiladarbey7380 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    You're wisdom is transforming my life 🎉❤

  • @skengs9538
    @skengs9538 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    lovely watch from big bro after a long day at work.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      That software ain't gonna sell itself, Ty bro ❤️

  • @TwistedFuchsia
    @TwistedFuchsia วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    this video speaks to me.
    escapism, self-loathing, insomnia, severe video game addiction, and substance abuse since 13.
    completely cut everyone off and stopped trying to make friends near 18, dropped socials all of it.
    2 near-death experiences by 20, doubled down on nicotine, corn, alc, mj.
    Not all at once, sometimes i'd trifecta that bih but mainly would cycle them bi-weekly.
    Only ever been sober for 3 months twice in my entire life, on that second part now.
    I've severely degraded my social skills and yearn for connection as you say.
    Can't even make proper eye contact without scaring the hoes (no lol i really couldn't care enough to even bother courting or worrying about other's opinions).
    I feel like (i know this may come off as pretentious) I'm more closely tied to reality given the amount of shit I've risen above with my intuition and my mother's unconditional love keeping me in check.
    I have a dark and crude humor as I do my past, I'm basically a wig/ger, not pronouns - white trash.
    But I make most people uncomfortable because of how direct, forthcoming, and kinda ghetto I am.
    Also being chirstian, conservative, caucasion, living rural in las vegas, definitely paints me an oddball.
    Understanding that, sure, I'll only attract a handful of people based on that, but I've lost intent to even try, burdened by so much shit i've caused for myself.
    When i was young I was changing schools every year or two, got a few suspensions, nothing too crazy though; Basically had to make new friends every time and come to accept that friends don't last, only I made some really good ones along the way.
    Atleast I can say I can call on some real homies because I was genuine with them (for the most part).
    Honestly writing and fitness have been enormous positive outlets for me, I learned to supplement the bad habits with good ones. But I can't let go of things... I suppose I can't let myself heal meaningfully, my fear is I hurt the next person I open up to only I know this to just be the devil ensuing doubt in my mind. Trust and trauma is out of cadence. Its like a spiritual war in my mind everyday. I listen to music so often it nearly obfuscates my ability to really think about life deeply. I'm very stable now at this point but lonely as hell, last gf was 3 years ago. I'm 25 about to grad, unemployed and with parents. I have skills but have yet to "monetize" them, if i even wish to. still struggling with corn its definitely my biggest vice, I feel like i'm not trying hard enough and God is pissed with me. I can tell when I'm coming onto something bigger than me but still feel anxious of the unknown. I'm grateful to be alive today and have the unique perspectives and experiences I have. I endured some hard times but also had really awesome times when I was younger, family did so much for me, only thing that kept me from sliding down the sewer. Still, everyday is a misery simulation but I learned that I've created that through my thought process (software) and perspective, I'm cut off from the source (intimacy/human connection), music is therapy, I find random things to learn and I incrementally improve on things I'm passionate about. I just suffer in silence but convince myself this will make me a stronger man, more able to protect those I love in the future (Ik this is a stretch of rationale). But sincerely, everyday I'm on the edge, mind over matter, and I can't spare a single second in a weak state of mind, It is as crucial as survival, knowing the corruption and darkness that exists in this world, and its predatory tendency to prey on the weak and oblivious. I think if I were to be alone the rest of my life, I'll try to just help other people, even with something as simple as passing wisdom or helping them see within themselves. Having older parents like my friend, we don't have much time left with them, but they passed down a lot for us. Being a man in this society and time, currently not making adequate money to provide for a family, can really be daunting if you think too far into it. This really affects my confidence and my agency because I absolutely hate asking for things. Just have to take everything one-step at a time, embrace mistakes, and when you make them, make sure you reflect on it. Always think about your next move. For me, I've just been back-tracking and trying to free myself of chemical dependencies, knowing damn well I was too instable to hold an intimate relationship or worse, be influenced to give into my demons again. It comes down to me moving past my addictions so I can commit to my spouse/love, I could already foresee my vices as problematic in the long-term, hence I put dating on the back burner, only now its just hitting different (isolation). Made some sketchy 'friends' in my time, grateful for it. Only again, its just hard to take that initial 'leap' of faith and initiate convo/try to get to know people. Its not difficult for me, but I've grown so comfortable not having obligations to 'keep up' with people or always having to spend money to do shit. Frankly, it just makes sense for a loner like me, in my predicament (broke ahn) to not be doing all this. I try to live as cheaply as humanly possible except when I impulse buy dumb shit like a goof. I just want to get right with God, get my sleep in order, and quit corn for GOOD. Many prayers with Christ to deliver me from temptation, lust is the strongest of confines at this point in time for me. But spontaneously writing this with my heart and soul helps me visualize, organize, and process tf I'm going thru. I must remember to be patient (literally tatted on me). I want to stay self-accountable, consistent in the gym, continue pursuing my passions, and land a career that my heart is in which I can support (hopefully) a couple kids and happy wife some day. I see so much content (my algo) about men dating and I see this crazy group-think, tribalistic negativity. Guys (in the U.S.) i know we're in a corporate hellscape right now, but holy heck have some faith, not all women are bad, the culture is pretty sick rn, the foods, pharma, don't even get me started, this com m net would get sent to the shadow realm. Just stick to your wits, trust your gut, and keep working to improve yourself. If you fall, get up, learn from it, and keep going. There's so many people in your shoes struggling, some even far worse, and still they are keeping faith and getting up the next day to give it all, even knowing it may be their last. Please stay strong, build discipline, keep hammering, and be mindful of the self-respect you deserve. You owe it to yourself to do better, even if that means changing the most miniscule thing (and sticking to it!). Set some goals! I have intuition telling me I'll be alright but I know it won't be easy. My soul will only be saved if I let go and become stronger spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. These are my priorities. When I fall inline, everything will work out and my kids will be better off as result of my sacrifices. I think when I was young, I absorbed so much negativity, the household was very chaotic. I put so much pressure on myself, I learned self-sabotage young, then I learned how to escape, all too well, Fun for a boy, hell for a man.
    Time comes for me to grow up, take responsibility, and move on - forgive myself finally. Just keep focused on the goal. Do right when no one's looking. This material and money means nothing at the end of the day. We all die but only some live, I will live a meaningful and adventurous life when I stop making excuses and commit to what is greater than me.
    I remember a thing I did from watching a Jordan Peterson video...
    went like,
    write 2 full papers,
    1 on where you see your life in 5 years if you try to change all the discrepancies you see in your life holding you back...
    2 on your life trajectory if you continue to run away from the things you know you should face (where you at in 5 years)...
    lets just say, this motivated me, and trust me, I was honest with myself.
    I believe the only way I get through my situation and series of impending hurdles is being as grounded as I can be, and brutally honest with myself (and God) in order to grow past my addictions and actually be free. I'm at the point where I think I'm just going to put myself out there on the internet and just try to spread some of my story and wisdom, f it, what do i have to lose.
    Family is everything~

  • @onlyaquaa
    @onlyaquaa 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    enjoyed this quite a bit, well done mate

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      cheers bro, appreciate the love

  • @DoctorSantosh
    @DoctorSantosh 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Subbed for the nice content +dungeon synth scoobydoo intrigue bgm

  • @kayindarbey9214
    @kayindarbey9214 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    really good advice and was impressed with the video quality ❣

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Thanks for the love bro, definitely my fav vid so far

  • @gynxthe1st
    @gynxthe1st 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Layed the game down haha, I like it, great video with immaculate production.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  23 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Thanks, definitely levelled up the editing on this one!! ❤️

  • @chimkinNuggz
    @chimkinNuggz 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Your a good story teller man. I have a similar story except i never got a second chance with the girl. Its crazy when you run into the first girl in your life that likes you as much as much as you like her.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      If it's okay, I'd love to hear the story! :)

  • @ruifelix9572
    @ruifelix9572 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Such a great video! Honestly gave me hope for the future!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      so glad to hear this ❤️

  • @kidchig
    @kidchig 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    super relatable, thanks for opening up and sharing your story, more or less I'm in the same situation as you are, new city, no friends, extremely lonely.
    any updates on the cashier girl 🤭

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

      Hope you can learn from some of my mistakes!
      We texted back and forth, I saw her a few more times but nothing transpired. I'm in a relationship now though, I was a changed man after that day!

  • @HustleHabit
    @HustleHabit 23 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

    Good video, buddy. Earned a new subscriber.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  20 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      glad you liked it bro

  • @GiddyGoblin-n5l
    @GiddyGoblin-n5l วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    wow, this is really cool, i seriously gotta stop distracting myself with youtube 😅

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  18 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Go get a glass of water right now and take a drink!!

  • @This.MadeMeSmile
    @This.MadeMeSmile 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    your storytelling is very good. thanks for sharing this.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you liked it bro ❤

  • @jithincs3584
    @jithincs3584 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    keep going man. good video loved it ❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Will do, ty for the kind words ❤

  • @comicsandsuch
    @comicsandsuch 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +6

    Runescape music is just so good

  • @chillblue1650
    @chillblue1650 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +12

    I like the RuneScape music. I noticed that!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Yes bro!! ❤️

    • @egreeno
      @egreeno 13 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Same, ahahaha.

    • @mr-pebble
      @mr-pebble 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @@SolomonDarbey What title is used here? :D

  • @wayne9478
    @wayne9478 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    inspirational video mate, jus got urself a new subscrieber

  • @TJ_Trades
    @TJ_Trades 4 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

    confidence is key 🔑

  • @after_midnight9592
    @after_midnight9592 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    You see how easy life is for good looking extroverts? What you're struggling and stress over, it's natural for them since they were teenagers.

  • @سعيدمحمدسعيدمحمد-ز4ي
    @سعيدمحمدسعيدمحمد-ز4ي 16 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Proud of u man 👏

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you brother 👋🏽

  • @samjohnson8403
    @samjohnson8403 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    6:10 I cried at this point. Inspirational yet so sad. Appreciate your video

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Ty for letting me know man, this is so motivating for me

  • @Lathspell_
    @Lathspell_ 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Guys DO NOT EVER use dating apps. This is not how you get true love. You will just get hurt

  • @funcereal
    @funcereal 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Love the background music! Rs4life

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      pure nostalgia ❤

  • @sjlbx
    @sjlbx 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    putting your runescape grinding capabilities into real life is a cheat code

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      So true, people think they lack motivation, usually they're just motivated to do things that don't make their life happier.

  • @ZeroMotivationSoul
    @ZeroMotivationSoul 15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hey its your 100th Sub . Amazing content brother❤

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thanks for the love brother!!

  • @electrodynamicorb6548
    @electrodynamicorb6548 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Loneliness is a useless remnant of our evolutionary past. When not being part of the group meant mortal danger. It’s a different world and it’s time to embrace it not run to the embrace of a woman who can never love you.

  • @brogotbonkers
    @brogotbonkers 18 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    hey man thanks for sharing it. Didn't finished the video yet but I'm here just laughing cause I'm literally playing lol and is almost 4am

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hahaha we are one and the same Mr Brogotbonkers

  • @survivorturnover
    @survivorturnover 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    sheer introvert relatable vibes

  • @fintanmcgee4903
    @fintanmcgee4903 6 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Outstanding video and awareness

  • @tkaygg
    @tkaygg 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Virgin tells a story. Nice. good work mate.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      Eventually I'll lose it man

  • @patrickpsp.sam.lyrics3674
    @patrickpsp.sam.lyrics3674 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    gosh it sucks to be introverted but it's really a fun experience

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      There's downsides, but I love it man - wouldn't change it for the world.

  • @madd3422
    @madd3422 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    you might hve just saved me brother

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hey man, if you relate to my story, just know it gets better. All I needed was some guidance and suddenly my life transformed.

  • @arslanfawkes5992
    @arslanfawkes5992 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Maybe that works when you're attractive but when you're not you essentially don't even register as a person to other people's brains. No one looks and smiles at me or whatever. I don't exist.
    I've tried going to the gym, meeting people, getting into clubs or whatever. There's just something wrong with me and no amount of ""confidence"" can cover it up. I'm simply not enough, no matter how much effort I put in and that's that.

    • @jamesguitarist
      @jamesguitarist วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Maybe the gym and clubs aren't your scene. They're not mine. I want to find like minded gamers but there's nowhere locally for me to do that so I barely get any attention and spend a lot of time alone. I used to go to clubs etc and got attention occasionally but it's shallow and from drunk people it doesn't feel like a compliment. Keep doing you bro, put yourself out there on TH-cam maybe? You'll find you're probably in the majority of how most men feel. This world seems great if you're typically beautiful but for them they're mainly liked for how they look, which doesn't attract real friends or partners who care for them fully so be careful what you wish for basically.

    • @bro918
      @bro918 14 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Exactly... this guy is having random women smile and flirt with him?? I am nearly 30 and have never experienced this. Really feels like im a ghost to women

  • @aleyandrogeiseb6305
    @aleyandrogeiseb6305 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Just get enough sleep to clear up those eye bags and also lose face fat trust ... appreciate the content🥳🥳

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      My sleeping schedule is slowly getting better, and I'm on a bulk - glad you liked the vid ❤

  • @curlycharlietv9614
    @curlycharlietv9614 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Life changing Video.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Oh wow, this means a lot!

  • @marcinwasielewski8608
    @marcinwasielewski8608 19 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    Subbed, good content bro. I just wanted to comment on the girl that stood you up. I think you did the right thing for saying no the 2nd time. She scheduled a date with you and went with her friends at the same time anyways? Sounds like she planned to be late or to ditch you. Meh man, kinda disrespectful.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I think you might be right, it's just at the time I wanted to go, even for the chance but I was just to embarrassed to face the situation.
      Thanks for the love bro

  • @jcdesigns1109
    @jcdesigns1109 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Last storey is the best one

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you liked it ❤

  • @Mrignayani108
    @Mrignayani108 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    honestly i dont need anything i am fine but i just want to focus on my career i am single from since i was born never had any relationship i was always alone too but i dont expect anything from anyone so im happy now in my little space with good friends but i remember i was desperate for so many things but i stoped chasing and now i just want to focus on my career and goals and people around me without expecting anything in return 😇

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Stopping chasing is great progress bro, glad you've found peace.
      At the same time, if you do desire romance and love, that's okay too, you deserve it.

  • @theultimate577
    @theultimate577 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I think it's good he didn't meet that girl in story 1, cos she disrespected him by not showing up the first time, gotta respect yourself when someone treats you roughly then changes their mind.

  • @SmutnyCzlek
    @SmutnyCzlek วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I'm pretty black metal, couldn't care less for humans and shallow connections. Problem solved.

  • @pavasite4278
    @pavasite4278 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    So what tips and advice would you give on approaching a girl you don’t know? Coz I’ve had times when I’m in public and I’ve caught girls looking at me but I never approached because I have no idea on what to say as there’s no common topic to talk about and I hate forcing conversations

  • @TwistedFuchsia
    @TwistedFuchsia วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    got the asmondgold-lite attic, you'll get there one day, just need to see some hairline recession and your damn near official.

  • @FreeloadingBird2584
    @FreeloadingBird2584 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Is no one going to talk about his room. I envy your room it is so empty and clean.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hahaha you should see the behind the scenes ❤️

  • @YoehSolopreneurship-t9e
    @YoehSolopreneurship-t9e 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    By seeking happiness you're saying you are currently unhappy.
    If you notice you're saying, If this ..., then ... You got really feel and think through what you're setting yourself up to.
    For example if I get a girlfriend/good job/whatever, then I'll be happy/free/whatever. This sounds oke at first, but the problem is your telling yourself that the opposite is true in the current moment. You lack something. And when you set yourself up in that mindset you victimize and critize yourself which isn't helping you at all.
    And last word of advice. By saying I want something: the only effect you will get is that you want it even more. It won't help you.
    Oke one last tip. Have something you want to day. Daily. What do you really wanna do today that's sparks your joy or fulfillment.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Very true, at the same time, being honest - I do feel unhappiness in the present, and that's okay. It's about taking actions to move your life into a more fulfilling position.

  • @theesteward9150
    @theesteward9150 5 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Sponges and dish soap 🤣🤣🤣 That's hilarious! Ah man, I feel like we're friends already just listening to your story, pretty relatable. I've also been learning to sit alone and clear my head so this was great to see and re-affirm. “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal. Thought I'd leave this little note. If you're still looking for friends, pop me your discord or email or sum and I'll hit you up

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      hahahahaha, so cringe but so hilarious.
      It's scary/foreign when you start, but I was amazed at what I'd been missing out on all those years. My insta is: SolomonDarbey thanks for the love bro

  • @naut_nigel
    @naut_nigel 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Also I've never heard someone use Runescape music in a vlog haha nice touch 😂

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา

      it's too fire bro, ty

  • @legokingiscool
    @legokingiscool 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    nice runescape music bro!

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Glad you noticed bro ;)

  • @pawkyyy
    @pawkyyy 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    thank you.

  • @apex1615
    @apex1615 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I am the exact same age, exact same situation, feel extremely lonely after losing my first girlfriend. I finished school, got a job that pays well, but i still feel that gaping void. I am trying to get myself to the gym, but i have real difficulty to commit to something.idk its, not really comforting, but assurint i guess other people face the same "problem"
    dunno what else to say..just wanted to write it somewhere.

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  19 ชั่วโมงที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thanks for reaching out bro, glad you related to my issues. I promise it can get better, but for me it only happened after I began learning how my mind works.

  • @chief8559
    @chief8559 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Nah bro, an idle mind is the devil’s playground. Don’t see the negative emotion through.

  • @cameronelliott9709
    @cameronelliott9709 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Hell, I’d have told her no as well on the second chance. My friend is drunk ? That’s bullshit.

  • @MyVoid312
    @MyVoid312 5 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Good video

  • @daam432
    @daam432 11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Hi, i really liked the song in the video, can you tell me the name?

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Old RuneScape Soundtrack: Newbie Melody
      Hahaha it's a banger bro!

  • @uchihahkitty
    @uchihahkitty 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    Love you

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  21 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      Hope you liked the vid :)

    • @uchihahkitty
      @uchihahkitty 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

      @SolomonDarbey i diddd im going through the same rn I needed this

  • @Cheese_909
    @Cheese_909 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Hey man, love the content just dropped a sub and was wondering if you would tell a story of my own experiences that I have had and need to get off of my chest and get a lot of hate for. Please reply if this would interest you. Many thanks

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Hey bro, reach out to me - I'll see how I can help you. Instagram: solomondarbey

  • @aha3411
    @aha3411 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thanks

  • @tlb1man
    @tlb1man 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Do you have socials we can follow you on! Great video :)

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I should probably do this, ty for letting me know ❤

  • @Jamesliu-cc5ht
    @Jamesliu-cc5ht 8 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Ha runesscapes was the days

    • @SolomonDarbey
      @SolomonDarbey  4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      wave2: selling lobbys 140/ea

  • @dmtdreamz7706
    @dmtdreamz7706 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    The reality is that not only are psychedelics not bad, as they are stigmatized to be, but they are actually 180 degrees opposite. They're not just neutral; they're amazing, and they are very important for the development of the human race.