@@zakapholiac9377it’s mental illness, nobody takes care of themselves so their brains are paranoid and look for things society says are attractive instead of thinking for themselves
I've been saying for so long that if you want to succeed in this world you have to be selfish. It's true. You have to do what's best for you and what's in your best interest, it's the only way to get ahead in this world. And that applies to everything: Jobs, voting, dating, just your overall situation in life.
Disagreeing being selfish makes people dislike you. I know people who are selfish when they are successful and don't want to help anyone but want people's help and support when they hit rock bottom. That's like my ex boss he is selfish and greedy when his business is doing well and refuses by to give his employees a pay raise, instead forcing us to work more hours with no benefit causing people to quit. Then a few years later, after Covid hit, his business wasn't doing well and the staff shortage was taking a toll. He goes calling all his old employees to come help him run his business, but no one wants to help because he's a selfish person who just wants to use people for his benefit. Now his business is closed lol. I'm done with this rant lol this is just one example. Be nice but don't be weak everything has to have a balance.
I wasn’t gonna comment but, your right man. My mother she has a golden heart all her life she was like “The Giving Tree” its a story look it up.. all she ever did was give give and give and she never got anything in return in fact people took advantage of her even more those who stole money from her got ahead in life while me and her just left behind broke asf.. that’s just the world we live in.
If you treat her as a responsible and independent human being and let her be herself she will go to clubs, hang out with guy friends wich will lead her to think you are a pushover and lose respect for you. If you restrict her from doing what she wants, eventually she will feel she can't be herself in the relationship and leave I think modern women are just fantastic
That’s so funny they want to be autonomous but at the same time want a guy to be dominant of her and then still say they’re equal to men, hypocrisy and double standards everywhere I go, I have no sympathy for women
Naaaaaw, you 50 percent right but there all men who look like the chads ppl talk about and he can’t find a woman to be with, how you view yourself in your head is just as important as looks
Ugly people usually become people pleasers eventually in order to buy love and affection. It’s hard to have firm boundaries and self-respect when everyone around you either ignores you or puts you down - unless you are useful to them. You learn to tie your value to being “useful”, so you get used.
@randyg22152 One of my friends who died recently was the living embodiment of this. He was fat, bald, broke, schizophrenic. He thought by feeding homeless people every week and being a Giver he would show people he had a good heart. He thought a good Christian woman would just see what a good heart he had, not care about how he looked. He died at 32, hit by a truck. He was a Giver in a World full of takers.
The first guy is literally me. I never seen someone word it so perfectly. I have such a hard time saying no.. Im working on it but man i need to learn to have discipline and put myself first. Thank you for this bro 🙏🏽
I can tell that at times I can be pleaser but only to my family because I have a fear of failing because I want to be the best I can be. I'm not really a people pleaser to other people because I don't want to please everyone to much work, energy, and not enough self time.
I was like this for a long time until I clicked that I was just being passive. I started showing more confidence and woman were interested in me even if our values didn’t align, that’s the next issue I had. Which sounds like a “nice” issue to have until you realise how much time you waste in the end. You need to learn to set boundaries no matter who it is. And be firm on those boundaries.
@@mario125ww бро, Я думаю что надо делать то что ты считаешь нужным, и говорить то что нужным. Быть уверенным в себе В ПЕРВУЮ ОЧЕРЕДЬ, любить себя тоже в первую очередь, и кажется все будет само собой, по крайней мере я тоже иду в этом пути, и это все мне помогает
Honestly I feel like I relate to all 3 of these but at different phases of life. I started off at the first example, for awhile I was vengeful and finally I am at an identity crisis. Almost feels like this guy worded of the stages of people growing out from being passive. Quite excited for the final outcome. Currently working on setting my boundaries. However, being the passive pushover for a long time, people tend to indirectly challenge me when I decide to become more independant. I will overcome it. I understand how it all works now, got to accept it and become the best version of myself. 💪
I was trained from a young age to be a nice guy. Now I’m 18 years old Trying to the best I can to break out of that crusted shell. Tired of pleasing girls and others that could care less about me.
To be honest with you I'm not nice to girls if they are not nice to me. Certain parts of an girl's attitude can easily make me dislike them regardless of how they look. I don't go out looking for drama nor toxicity. I may have a gentle heart but I'm not a pushover
You should please other because that’s what you like to do but if you don’t then don’t but be prepared to face the other side of the coin/emotional abuse that comes with it, hope you are strong enough for that. People treat me like shit and I think about after but do I notice it in the moment? Hell no I feel too good to let people make me feel another way
There's levels to this. It doesn't hurt to hold the door for a stranger. To smile at someone. Make others feel generally at ease in your presence, to try and spread positivity. Those are not signs of weakness, it's having social skills and being able to connect with others. Do NOT drive a girl around from your high school who doesn't do ANYTHING for you in return but always calls you or tries to emotionally manipulate you, for example. If you're doing something to be kind, then there's no exploitation going on from the receiving party. If someone approaches YOU for help, but does NOTHING to show thanks, then that is not fair. Avoid those situations. The answer is not to go from one extreme to the other. Find a healthy middle ground of not being an un-friendly un-helpful jerk, but also not being a doormat or a yes man or servant to people who are not willing to also do the same for you.
Thank You for this video. It helped me to clarify term and definition of a " nice guy" and differintiate between types of nice guys. I actually felt that there are certain types of this personality but now I know exactly what this subtypes might behave. Thank you
I respect everyone and treat them with dignity simply because you are a human being. That goes with the so-called "nice" guys because I value them as good human beings. From this, the only reason when my relationships go wrong is because of someone else, I am never guilty. I withdraw all of my kindness and empathy from someone when they start taking advantage of me or my close friends. I label them as permanent "criminals" which I have zero tolerance for and see them as literal snakes (not humans). In the case of being ignored, I don't consider it as "criminal" action since that individual has free will with who they want to be friends with. Forgiveness is not an option when it comes to betrayal or trying to gain an edge me, I have self-worth. Anyone who is uncomfortable with my lack of mercy is a red flag. You wouldn't have to stress about getting buried by my hatred if you just walked away or valued me as a human being like everyone else, unless you treat me like a sub-human slave. Trust me, most "snakes" regret what they did to me.
As someone that read Dr. Glover’s “no more Mr nice guy” what I realized is that to men need to love themselves as who they are just as they are. If you’re a nice person, continue to be nice. A woman might like a “bad boy” but that is what she deems attractive. She’s just one woman that’s all it’s not a reflection of your capabilities. Most women I know who are in loving relationships are not with men who aren’t kind or aren’t nice. Only emotionally damaged woman seek men that are emotionally unavailable themselves. What Dr. Glover essentially says in his book, is that a nice guy is “codependent” meaning they put a girl on a pedestal and continually chase women even when being rejected. That is why, at the slightest moment that a woman doesn’t like you for who you are or stops trying to make the relationship work, you quickly change your attraction for her and go for someone that chooses you as you are. To men out there, there’s nothing wrong with being nice. A nice person is sociable and cares about others, but be direct in what you want. I genuinely believe that most nice men, aren’t nice because they want something in return, but because they’re genuinely nice. Lastly, the most important thing. “Nice guys” aren’t actually nice they label themselves as nice. That is, genuinely being nice is a good trait to have. As a guy that is around a lot of woman due to being in school, internship, and work (children’s center) that are all women dominated the most memorable woman I know are those that behave and do nice things for me. People really don’t realize just how great it feels for someone to just be nice and kind to others. It’s not the hot women, the over confident, or the women that is playful that is the most memorable, but the ones that are truly nice and do nice things for me that I remember the most. For example, I had a woman in my class give me an anime figure and another at my workplace bring a Starbucks drink unprompted. I’ll never forget these woman and would be with them romantically if they were available.
Loving other people is considered horrible in this world. I refuse to play these games anymore. I’ll be myself and as loving as I want to be, nice guy stigma be damned.
Many people might not agree but the best thing that worked for me was basically cut everyone out and be by yourself. Workout go to work and focus on reaching goals and not prioritizing your life around women is what will make you successful in the long run. It’ll establish identity and make your more selfish and makes it easier for people not to walk all over you
I'm more or less a 'nice guy' - and I've had countless intimate relationships with attractive and intelligent women. If a woman mocks or dismisses you for showing natural kindness and respect, she's probably toxic, shallow, and not worth your time in the first place. Yes, confidence is important, but some men don't understand the difference between being confident and behaving like an intense moron that makes women uncomfortable. It's about balance. If a woman isn't interested in you, respect her choice and move on.
Funny, you said that nice guys who are hateful needed to get punched. Well, I was that dude back in grade 7 and 8, I was labeled a weirdo and pretentious. Wasn’t really likable and is deeply insecure. My God, the charisma on command and alpha m videos were making me a creep lol. When stuff didn’t pan out, I became angry and hurt people and at that those people’s friend beat me and I got humbled. I learned to be humble and intensely self-aware. I blamed myself for being immature. Though that self-awareness made me passive as hell, so then I had to form my idea of an individual back in grade 12. Well, I was still hateful but silent about it. Gradually, I was becoming better even after some failures but hopefully now I’ve become more social and my mindset has become more mature. I hope I could translate such maturity in my studies tho… currently in my second year ✌️
Hmmm that first sentence sounds alarming to be honest. Punching someone would guarantee you in JAIL. Let’s not punch people unless you’re defending others or yourself
@ Uhhmm, I said that because I was a nice guy who became irritated when things didn’t go his way. So, I was smacked out of it by a punch. I wouldn’t say violence is good as you’ve pointed but it is such a wakeup call for me to introspect and realize what’s wrong. This idea of being soft over things and saying that we shouldn’t do harm just because it is harmful… Is what the west is suffering from, this reluctance to police delusional worldviews is what’s making people like overrighteous people and hateful incels, if all the things they are doing brings no consequences then that leads to the decay of moral understanding. I hope you do understand that the world is not always the west. Yes, I highly detest violence against people but there’s a time and right way in doing so. As long as the message is broadcasted. But truly, I hate it when other people overgeneralizes the world in their own lens. It pisses me off, yes it will always exist but that is why we educate and support them at their lowest, guide them to true goodness, so that we avoid the circumstance of them becoming what they’ve experienced.
@ even if it is well intentioned, being physical about it creates an unsafe environment even if the person is in the wrong. That’s why I hate abuse as a way to teach people to avoid mistakes. Coming from someone who is a abused as a child. If someone were to punch me in the face if I was in the wrong or if I make mistakes, I would speed dial the police department immediately.
This video is helpful, you are very articulate and are good with your words, i am a neodivirgent 29 year old autistic male who has been betrayed taken advantage of ans hurt by society, you define this very well i am the first one you said, i dont open up to people very much but thank you for this video, god bless you and take care.
Just be nice but keep working on your looks and skills. No one will abuse you if they know you can punch them in the face. You never know who can help you later.
A truly GOOD man can show kindness regardless. Every man should strive to be self-capable and able to defend themselves, but that doesn't have anything to do with treating OTHERS with kindness and respect until given a reason not to. You want to receive positive energy from others, but are not willing to do your part to spread it? Makes no sense.
When you think too much with your feelings and less with rational thinking. You come off at a non respectable man and no one wants to be friends or let alone a gf of someone like that. I learned to stick to your boundaries and do not let others tell you who you are. Be respectful towards yourself and do not give more of yourself to those who do not deserve it. You can be a kind man but also someone who does not let people disrespect him. Being kind is 💯 different than being nice.
Ye I'd say too real. I remember back in the days just when I hit 19 I realized that my mother wasn't really as much of a good person as I thought she was.
Parents always, ALWAYS try and make their own children into slaves because they need someone to take care of them when they themselves grow old, and weak. You can't make your own kids go against their own instincts if they ain't grown a spine. F that shi, go against the grain, no one else has your back cept you.
I dont know if you can lump types of nice guys all in different categories. My experience is being mistreated at home my whole life and not being able to stand up for myself with my peers or anyone really. I used to say it was because im too nice and now i dont think of myself as nice anymore because i havent done many nice things. But ive always been torn between wanting to be nice and wanting to be more dominant and assertive while not being hated by everyone. But i know you cant be liked by everyone no matter what you do.
4:03 one phrase you can say that will 10/10 piss people off everytime you say it is “I’m me and you’re you” people always want their thoughts and opinions, especially when voicing it to someone to matter. Especially if it has to do with their feelings- they always want them put first and this one phrase is the quickest way to stick it to them. People have to be reminded that we’re all individuals
Sometimes, a type 1 nice guy could transition into type 2 due to abuse like family turmoil, bullying, etc. An innocent mindset could turn into a ticking bomb if he's not aware of the reality that people really don't have your best interest at heart.
I would say I fall into the third category. I enjoy being kind. What would Jesus do? He would love first… But he also flipped tables and whipped the Jews who were abusing the tabernacle. I must learn moderated assertion and confidence.
Great video… there are different types of ‘nice’ guys … having set boundaries and the ability to detach is what separates the ones that get taken advantage of vs the ones that don’t
Money doesn't always matter nowadays either. Rich dudes get divorced too. It'll help for a little bit but it's what the women want after leaving or when you die.
@@pantherman8719 you absolutely right, which is even worse because in that case, if you have money you only get fake love. But we all know if a man has nothing, no woman 💯
@@SonOfSparda2024it’s true but a women’s prime is super short. When they hit a wall they are cooked lol. Being a guy is much better imo, once we acquire our wealth, status, etc….our prime last way longer haha
Im nice as a default, but few minutes are enough for me to dislike someone and not be nice to them anymore. I start to hate huge portion of people actually, but I always remember there are good exceptions and when it comes to strangers, i cannot guess who is who.. so i wont behave bad to people i dont know yet.
I agree with you. Every human being deserves respect and dignity, it shouldn't always be earned. Once someone crosses that boundary, it's necessary to shut them off
I have a testimony to give: I used to simp over this girl that meant the world to me. I don't know if it's her personality that changed, or maybe I actually figured out who she really was, but I assumed that she lost interest in me only because I was acting WAY too nice. I look back at my messages to her, and I actually overdid it. I regret this :(. I really do. Please help😭. Any advice would work. Thank you.
I'm definitely the first one you mentioned. Very introverted, I don't really have any enemies, everyone who knows me doesn't have a problem with me or is just neutral I think. It kind of takes me a long time to be comfortable around people but I'm definitely getting better at it. I just have a hard time understanding why this is seen as a problem by people. I have had people just be rude to me for no reason, especially at my job when all I'm trying to do is help. I've been taken advantage of. I've been friendzoned too, thankfully only once. It just sucks that I feel like I have to change who I am because I don't want to be known as the nice guy. I feel like women can have pretty much any personality and be liked by someone. I know I'll find someone one day, my brother is the same way pretty much and he's married. Its just harder for us I guess
I'm definitely the second trait and I have done two martial arts, got punched in the face and guts and I still find a reason to blame other people for my misfortunes. I don't think a humbling experience would help at all. That is terrible advice. I personally have a rigid mindset due to previously having it easy and it is hard, not only for people like me but everyone to see things through a bigger lens because it's easy not to. Sometimes you need to sit down and shut your mind off for a bit and stay calm and stop imploding inwards. Being humbled would just make you find another reason to hate everyone and this is why a lot of people like me are timid and dislike socialising.
I disagree with the statement, "girls can see a fake nice guy from a mile away". Reason being is I have trained female wrestlers for many years and they have talked about guys to me. Usually it's one of the guy wrestlers so I know the person and sometimes they have labeled a genuinely kind man who has been kind to myself and his fellow male wrestler as a "nice guy" who has ulterior motives when he is kind to them. Most women put nice guys and kind men in the same box and never bother to figure out who is who.
Instead of viewing those guys that are good with girls as the problem. Would it be better to befriend them and learn from them? I want to take that approach now. I want to meet more successful men and learn from them. Is that a good idea?
Nice guy # 3 describe sort of me, but you’re kinda wrong… people like that isn’t sometimes mad at the world, they was probably pushed over by the world or understands how it works…plus these people don’t have friends not because nobody likes them, it’s because they try not to make many friends due to past experiences plus people usually don’t get what they want due to unrelated reasons such as fear, not being able to control their minds and making terrible decisions, etc I personally struggle with controlling my mind via spending habits mostly and I’m fixing that by giving myself constant feedback on my mistakes so I can improve, move my circle, and be the best version of myself by suffering and beating my flaws. So what I’m saying is you can’t just assume things or judge people if you don’t know them personally u probably had a friend like that but I don’t think u knew him the same way his close ones knew him…
Look man being an introvert doesn't mean that you're a nice guy as the matter of fact being highly extroverted makes you a people pleaser. I myself I am an introvert and sometimes people see as aloof and cold hearted person & I love that because I don't please anybody I do what think is right for me nothing else
If you want to be a nice guy you have to be able to be selfish and have the potential to be a dangerous individual. Only then you can choose to be a nice man and not indulge into your dark side. Otherwise you're not a nice man but a harmless pushover.
3:35 - People who are genuinely nice do win. It’s the ones pretending with an agenda that don’t. It is ‘genuinely’ be yourself. If you’re a soft guy and pretend to be ‘hard’ it won’t work, just be you. It also works if you’re an asshole, just be an asshole, the second you own it, you’re actually less of an asshole and can put a direction on it like being a boxer or CEO or something.
My brother 35 is an introvert bad boy who display sociopathic behavior…Don’t follow society rules, can’t hold a job, unemployed, impulsive, don’t care attitude, illegal activities, mysterious, lack of empathy, incapable of love. Women stare at him like crazy, some of them give bedroom eyes but they don’t approach him because he is intimidating, look serious and cold at the same time. Go figure it out how women brain works what they crave for. He is skinny guy too…It’s not about the money at all. If women like what they see they will find you attractive no matter what.
Is there like a book i can read that helps on this? Specifically on , how to get rid of feminine traits in men? cuz boundary this boundary that , BUDDY i genuinely want to listen to their problems but not to help them for fix them but genuinely i just feel empathy for people regardless the gender.
It means doing nothing when a conflict happens. Whether you're involved or not. You definitely cannot be passive if someone disrespects you in front of your gf.
I was a juvenile delinquent starting in the 1st Grade and I always had a girlfriend until I graduated from highschool and gained weight. I activated women's hybristaphilia with my Emo bad boy persona.
The second kind of “nice” guy that you describe is the “covert contract” kind of person (and in my experience, there are far more women like this than there are men like this, but less stick to the “nice guy” label for now). Some people do good things for others mainly because they assume that if you do enough good deeds for others (usually completely unsolicited favors, mind you), then that imposes an obligation of some sort on other people, or the universe, or God, or whatever, to live up to some unspoken expectation you have and manifest what you desire without you asking for it. You will find that other people resent having someone try to impose some type of contract or deal upon them that they did not agree to. By way of example, say that you broke you leg, and one day you wake up to some noise outside, and when you shuffle outside in your bathrobe and crutches to investigate, you find that your neighbor - who is busy mowing your grass - announces to you that he saw that you were crippled this week, so he unilaterally decided (without asking you first, mind you) that he was going to do your yard work for you seeing how you can barely walk or get around. You say, “cool” and go back inside to eat your cereal and watch TV. You think nothing more of it, but a month later your neighbor drops by again, and this time he is angry. He accuses you of being an ingrate, and asks why you never threw a surprise birthday party for him last week. You ask, “Was I supposed to? What did I miss?” And he tells you that “everybody just knows” that when someone does yard work for you that you are supposed to pay them back by baking them some cookies or giving them a homemade pie, or whatever. He insists that it’s “common knowledge”, and he isn’t moved by your protests that you are not a “mind reader”, and that you never asked him to help you in the first place, he just volunteered. You just had an unspoken “contract” imposed upon you without your knowledge or your consent. If he had told you upfront what his unspoken expectations where, then you might have agreed to it, or not, but at least you would have had a choice, and you could have negotiated a deal. But he is not giving you that choice. Covert contract people have a hard time expressing themselves, or asking directly for what they want, so they do kind things as a “hint” that they expect the world to follow their example and do something similar to them in return. Most normal people resent having obligations thrust upon them by covert people, and most people resent bringing judged for failing to meet unspoken expectations that you were not aware even existed. This is effeminate behavior, and it is unattractive when anyone does it, but it is especially unattractive when a heterosexual man acts like an immature girl - straight women are simply not attracted to a girly man. If you want something, then it is masculine behavior to be direct and upfront about what you want and expect from others. If you are doing my yard work in exchange for a favor, or in exchange for money, cookies, and apple pie, or whatever, then maybe you should have told me that before you got started, and we could have negotiated an exchange (or not, but at least I would have had the choice to accept or refuse). Yes, relationships are a two way street, and you should end any relationship that you find yourself in where you are always the taker and the other person is always the giver (Why are you doing this, anyway? Are you trying to “buy” attention and affection?), but if you volunteer to do something nice for someone, the societal expectation is that no one owes you anything, since it was an unsolicited gift. Giving gifts in the expectation that this person is now indebted to you somehow, will always make other people upset. I could expound more, but this comment is too long already. Have a good day.
1:10 - at some point the really passive guy, like genuinely passive like a really christian guy does marry a really christian girl. They are a happy couple genuinely. The guy without a secret agenda does win. It’s the one with an agenda.
when you say you're a nice guy, you're basically giving the Seto Kaiba vibe from Yu-Gi-Oh! Season 0 when he said "I'm Seto Kaiba, I'm the nicest guy on the face of this planet".
As a woman I think guys dont seem to understand what a nice guy, bad boy, chad, real man are. They seem to think being a nice guy will get a girl to be loyal to you and like you for who you are that is not how real life is sadly.
*When a guy is too focused on pleasing others, he can come across as lacking confidence.*
I feel this in the pit of my gut
Well maybe it’s because I actually don’t have any confidence.
What a sad world we live in where being nice is seen as lacking confidence
Well i dont have much
@@zakapholiac9377it’s mental illness, nobody takes care of themselves so their brains are paranoid and look for things society says are attractive instead of thinking for themselves
I've been saying for so long that if you want to succeed in this world you have to be selfish. It's true. You have to do what's best for you and what's in your best interest, it's the only way to get ahead in this world. And that applies to everything: Jobs, voting, dating, just your overall situation in life.
💯 everyone comes to this realization sooner or later; better sooner
Bro threw in voting like he voted for Harris and is mad trump won 😂
Disagreeing being selfish makes people dislike you. I know people who are selfish when they are successful and don't want to help anyone but want people's help and support when they hit rock bottom. That's like my ex boss he is selfish and greedy when his business is doing well and refuses by to give his employees a pay raise, instead forcing us to work more hours with no benefit causing people to quit. Then a few years later, after Covid hit, his business wasn't doing well and the staff shortage was taking a toll. He goes calling all his old employees to come help him run his business, but no one wants to help because he's a selfish person who just wants to use people for his benefit. Now his business is closed lol. I'm done with this rant lol this is just one example. Be nice but don't be weak everything has to have a balance.
Good luck getting ahead when people perceive you as a selfish human being
I wasn’t gonna comment but, your right man. My mother she has a golden heart all her life she was like “The Giving Tree” its a story look it up.. all she ever did was give give and give and she never got anything in return in fact people took advantage of her even more those who stole money from her got ahead in life while me and her just left behind broke asf.. that’s just the world we live in.
If you treat her as a responsible and independent human being and let her be herself she will go to clubs, hang out with guy friends wich will lead her to think you are a pushover and lose respect for you.
If you restrict her from doing what she wants, eventually she will feel she can't be herself in the relationship and leave
I think modern women are just fantastic
Or or just not care about what she does
Treat her as a capable independent being, if she betrays your trust then just leave.
That’s so funny they want to be autonomous but at the same time want a guy to be dominant of her and then still say they’re equal to men, hypocrisy and double standards everywhere I go, I have no sympathy for women
@@TheManWithoutAName1120And do not forgive her. She will do it again!!! Leave her forever. Or maybe just break off contact
Modern american* women are like that, no dignity, no human values, nothing…
Nice Guy is usually code for not Good Looking enough. People keep making it about morality and behavior.
Naaaaaw, you 50 percent right but there all men who look like the chads ppl talk about and he can’t find a woman to be with, how you view yourself in your head is just as important as looks
Women will also treat prettyboys like shit if those guys have no backbone to stand up for themselves.
Ugly people usually become people pleasers eventually in order to buy love and affection. It’s hard to have firm boundaries and self-respect when everyone around you either ignores you or puts you down - unless you are useful to them. You learn to tie your value to being “useful”, so you get used.
@randyg22152 One of my friends who died recently was the living embodiment of this. He was fat, bald, broke, schizophrenic.
He thought by feeding homeless people every week and being a Giver he would show people he had a good heart.
He thought a good Christian woman would just see what a good heart he had, not care about how he looked.
He died at 32, hit by a truck.
He was a Giver in a World full of takers.
@jdilla4591 How you view yourself usually comes from how people treat you.
The first guy is literally me. I never seen someone word it so perfectly. I have such a hard time saying no.. Im working on it but man i need to learn to have discipline and put myself first. Thank you for this bro 🙏🏽
Same bro, just started breaking out of that mold recently. We'll make it
Same man
I can tell that at times I can be pleaser but only to my family because I have a fear of failing because I want to be the best I can be. I'm not really a people pleaser to other people because I don't want to please everyone to much work, energy, and not enough self time.
I'm not really a nice guy. But I'm a passive guy... Gotta change
Facts
What makes you think you are passive? What are you not doing, what you should be doing?
I was like this for a long time until I clicked that I was just being passive. I started showing more confidence and woman were interested in me even if our values didn’t align, that’s the next issue I had. Which sounds like a “nice” issue to have until you realise how much time you waste in the end. You need to learn to set boundaries no matter who it is. And be firm on those boundaries.
How were passive? I'm curious because i might be passive in relationships. So what did you do to fix it
@@mario125ww бро, Я думаю что надо делать то что ты считаешь нужным, и говорить то что нужным. Быть уверенным в себе В ПЕРВУЮ ОЧЕРЕДЬ, любить себя тоже в первую очередь, и кажется все будет само собой, по крайней мере я тоже иду в этом пути, и это все мне помогает
Honestly I feel like I relate to all 3 of these but at different phases of life. I started off at the first example, for awhile I was vengeful and finally I am at an identity crisis. Almost feels like this guy worded of the stages of people growing out from being passive. Quite excited for the final outcome. Currently working on setting my boundaries. However, being the passive pushover for a long time, people tend to indirectly challenge me when I decide to become more independant. I will overcome it. I understand how it all works now, got to accept it and become the best version of myself. 💪
I’m 41 and I never had a girlfriend before and I feel my time is up when it comes to getting married and having kids especially the kids part.
just gotta look max, approach and you’ll be fine . You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
I was trained from a young age to be a nice guy. Now I’m 18 years old
Trying to the best I can to break out of that crusted shell.
Tired of pleasing girls and others that could care less about me.
To be honest with you I'm not nice to girls if they are not nice to me. Certain parts of an girl's attitude can easily make me dislike them regardless of how they look. I don't go out looking for drama nor toxicity. I may have a gentle heart but I'm not a pushover
You should please other because that’s what you like to do but if you don’t then don’t but be prepared to face the other side of the coin/emotional abuse that comes with it, hope you are strong enough for that. People treat me like shit and I think about after but do I notice it in the moment? Hell no I feel too good to let people make me feel another way
There's levels to this. It doesn't hurt to hold the door for a stranger. To smile at someone. Make others feel generally at ease in your presence, to try and spread positivity. Those are not signs of weakness, it's having social skills and being able to connect with others. Do NOT drive a girl around from your high school who doesn't do ANYTHING for you in return but always calls you or tries to emotionally manipulate you, for example. If you're doing something to be kind, then there's no exploitation going on from the receiving party. If someone approaches YOU for help, but does NOTHING to show thanks, then that is not fair. Avoid those situations.
The answer is not to go from one extreme to the other. Find a healthy middle ground of not being an un-friendly un-helpful jerk, but also not being a doormat or a yes man or servant to people who are not willing to also do the same for you.
@@ACapedBaldymost apt description of the middle ground to find for one's self.
Thank You for this video. It helped me to clarify term and definition of a " nice guy" and differintiate between types of nice guys. I actually felt that there are certain types of this personality but now I know exactly what this subtypes might behave. Thank you
You can still be nice, do not let your values be undermined. Guard them with a fist of iron.
I respect everyone and treat them with dignity simply because you are a human being. That goes with the so-called "nice" guys because I value them as good human beings. From this, the only reason when my relationships go wrong is because of someone else, I am never guilty. I withdraw all of my kindness and empathy from someone when they start taking advantage of me or my close friends. I label them as permanent "criminals" which I have zero tolerance for and see them as literal snakes (not humans). In the case of being ignored, I don't consider it as "criminal" action since that individual has free will with who they want to be friends with. Forgiveness is not an option when it comes to betrayal or trying to gain an edge me, I have self-worth. Anyone who is uncomfortable with my lack of mercy is a red flag. You wouldn't have to stress about getting buried by my hatred if you just walked away or valued me as a human being like everyone else, unless you treat me like a sub-human slave. Trust me, most "snakes" regret what they did to me.
As someone that read Dr. Glover’s “no more Mr nice guy” what I realized is that to men need to love themselves as who they are just as they are. If you’re a nice person, continue to be nice. A woman might like a “bad boy” but that is what she deems attractive. She’s just one woman that’s all it’s not a reflection of your capabilities. Most women I know who are in loving relationships are not with men who aren’t kind or aren’t nice. Only emotionally damaged woman seek men that are emotionally unavailable themselves. What Dr. Glover essentially says in his book, is that a nice guy is “codependent” meaning they put a girl on a pedestal and continually chase women even when being rejected. That is why, at the slightest moment that a woman doesn’t like you for who you are or stops trying to make the relationship work, you quickly change your attraction for her and go for someone that chooses you as you are. To men out there, there’s nothing wrong with being nice. A nice person is sociable and cares about others, but be direct in what you want. I genuinely believe that most nice men, aren’t nice because they want something in return, but because they’re genuinely nice. Lastly, the most important thing. “Nice guys” aren’t actually nice they label themselves as nice. That is, genuinely being nice is a good trait to have. As a guy that is around a lot of woman due to being in school, internship, and work (children’s center) that are all women dominated the most memorable woman I know are those that behave and do nice things for me. People really don’t realize just how great it feels for someone to just be nice and kind to others. It’s not the hot women, the over confident, or the women that is playful that is the most memorable, but the ones that are truly nice and do nice things for me that I remember the most. For example, I had a woman in my class give me an anime figure and another at my workplace bring a Starbucks drink unprompted. I’ll never forget these woman and would be with them romantically if they were available.
be assertive and be ready to have enemies or people opposing you if you genuinely want to be happy in this world
Loving other people is considered horrible in this world. I refuse to play these games anymore. I’ll be myself and as loving as I want to be, nice guy stigma be damned.
It's not so much about not being a mean person, but you have to stand up for yourself or people will say your a pushover or your "too nice".
Many people might not agree but the best thing that worked for me was basically cut everyone out and be by yourself. Workout go to work and focus on reaching goals and not prioritizing your life around women is what will make you successful in the long run.
It’ll establish identity and make your more selfish and makes it easier for people not to walk all over you
Don't be a nice guy or a bad boy. Be a money guy. Girls love money.
No, I'm gonna make myself into a yogurt male
Nobody wants a girl who’s just “love” money
Be a leader, be desisive, don't be afraid to disagree with her, don't be a doormat.
I'm more or less a 'nice guy' - and I've had countless intimate relationships with attractive and intelligent women. If a woman mocks or dismisses you for showing natural kindness and respect, she's probably toxic, shallow, and not worth your time in the first place. Yes, confidence is important, but some men don't understand the difference between being confident and behaving like an intense moron that makes women uncomfortable. It's about balance. If a woman isn't interested in you, respect her choice and move on.
I definitely have been lacking confidence, but I only rely on other people to say if I'm "nice".
Funny, you said that nice guys who are hateful needed to get punched.
Well, I was that dude back in grade 7 and 8, I was labeled a weirdo and pretentious. Wasn’t really likable and is deeply insecure.
My God, the charisma on command and alpha m videos were making me a creep lol. When stuff didn’t pan out, I became angry and hurt people and at that those people’s friend beat me and I got humbled. I learned to be humble and intensely self-aware. I blamed myself for being immature.
Though that self-awareness made me passive as hell, so then I had to form my idea of an individual back in grade 12. Well, I was still hateful but silent about it.
Gradually, I was becoming better even after some failures but hopefully now I’ve become more social and my mindset has become more mature.
I hope I could translate such maturity in my studies tho… currently in my second year ✌️
Hmmm that first sentence sounds alarming to be honest. Punching someone would guarantee you in JAIL. Let’s not punch people unless you’re defending others or yourself
@ Uhhmm, I said that because I was a nice guy who became irritated when things didn’t go his way. So, I was smacked out of it by a punch.
I wouldn’t say violence is good as you’ve pointed but it is such a wakeup call for me to introspect and realize what’s wrong.
This idea of being soft over things and saying that we shouldn’t do harm just because it is harmful… Is what the west is suffering from, this reluctance to police delusional worldviews is what’s making people like overrighteous people and hateful incels, if all the things they are doing brings no consequences then that leads to the decay of moral understanding.
I hope you do understand that the world is not always the west. Yes, I highly detest violence against people but there’s a time and right way in doing so. As long as the message is broadcasted.
But truly, I hate it when other people overgeneralizes the world in their own lens. It pisses me off, yes it will always exist but that is why we educate and support them at their lowest, guide them to true goodness, so that we avoid the circumstance of them becoming what they’ve experienced.
@ even if it is well intentioned, being physical about it creates an unsafe environment even if the person is in the wrong. That’s why I hate abuse as a way to teach people to avoid mistakes. Coming from someone who is a abused as a child. If someone were to punch me in the face if I was in the wrong or if I make mistakes, I would speed dial the police department immediately.
This video is helpful, you are very articulate and are good with your words, i am a neodivirgent 29 year old autistic male who has been betrayed taken advantage of ans hurt by society, you define this very well i am the first one you said, i dont open up to people very much but thank you for this video, god bless you and take care.
What a bot 😂 you trynna make us feel some type of way
I’m also autistic and subscribed to the neurotypical pill/blackpill because of this
@@itsawrapkevtinoNo lil bro he’s being genuine, gtfo lil bro
ngl bro i found your videos and i vibe with your videos and experiences. its helping me fisho. keep making these videos. you deserve way more subs.
love 🙏🏽
Just be nice but keep working on your looks and skills. No one will abuse you if they know you can punch them in the face. You never know who can help you later.
A truly GOOD man can show kindness regardless. Every man should strive to be self-capable and able to defend themselves, but that doesn't have anything to do with treating OTHERS with kindness and respect until given a reason not to. You want to receive positive energy from others, but are not willing to do your part to spread it? Makes no sense.
When you think too much with your feelings and less with rational thinking. You come off at a non respectable man and no one wants to be friends or let alone a gf of someone like that.
I learned to stick to your boundaries and do not let others tell you who you are. Be respectful towards yourself and do not give more of yourself to those who do not deserve it. You can be a kind man but also someone who does not let people disrespect him.
Being kind is 💯 different than being nice.
My parents tried to turn me into a beta male provider.
real....
😂😂
Ye I'd say too real. I remember back in the days just when I hit 19 I realized that my mother wasn't really as much of a good person as I thought she was.
This is an understatement, parents have been setting their children up for failure.
Parents always, ALWAYS try and make their own children into slaves because they need someone to take care of them when they themselves grow old, and weak. You can't make your own kids go against their own instincts if they ain't grown a spine.
F that shi, go against the grain, no one else has your back cept you.
Don't worry cause even Tupac got nailed with that "Too Nice" BS.
I dont know if you can lump types of nice guys all in different categories. My experience is being mistreated at home my whole life and not being able to stand up for myself with my peers or anyone really. I used to say it was because im too nice and now i dont think of myself as nice anymore because i havent done many nice things. But ive always been torn between wanting to be nice and wanting to be more dominant and assertive while not being hated by everyone. But i know you cant be liked by everyone no matter what you do.
4:03 one phrase you can say that will 10/10 piss people off everytime you say it is “I’m me and you’re you” people always want their thoughts and opinions, especially when voicing it to someone to matter. Especially if it has to do with their feelings- they always want them put first and this one phrase is the quickest way to stick it to them. People have to be reminded that we’re all individuals
Sometimes, a type 1 nice guy could transition into type 2 due to abuse like family turmoil, bullying, etc. An innocent mindset could turn into a ticking bomb if he's not aware of the reality that people really don't have your best interest at heart.
If you’re above 8... your always cute
Someone call chris hanson
Yea but u can turn some girls off
@@bobajett1025he means attractive wise
Translation: Just be physically attractive.
just watch the entire video
@@ignaciorodriguezdiaz104 Never seen a hot guy be called a nice guy tho 🤡. Only normies and sub 5 are called nice guys. Looks= personality.
Or a ruthless, unhinged sociopath.
@why8410 normies need to be less nice and sub 5s need to stay in the basement
@@cnxghost ur dumb
I would say I fall into the third category. I enjoy being kind. What would Jesus do? He would love first…
But he also flipped tables and whipped the Jews who were abusing the tabernacle.
I must learn moderated assertion and confidence.
I had to run for my life and my sanity. I spent 7 years and thousands of dollars on a person who hated me.
Great video… there are different types of ‘nice’ guys … having set boundaries and the ability to detach is what separates the ones that get taken advantage of vs the ones that don’t
No fellas these women today do not like you for you, if you don’t have money you’re in last place 💯
I guess so when all a woman has to do is look cute and boom you score yourself a boyfriend with no money required funny how that works
Money doesn't always matter nowadays either. Rich dudes get divorced too. It'll help for a little bit but it's what the women want after leaving or when you die.
@@pantherman8719 you absolutely right, which is even worse because in that case, if you have money you only get fake love. But we all know if a man has nothing, no woman 💯
“The crib is Scarface, could it be more Tony? You love me for me, could you be more phony?” - Kanye West
@@SonOfSparda2024it’s true but a women’s prime is super short. When they hit a wall they are cooked lol. Being a guy is much better imo, once we acquire our wealth, status, etc….our prime last way longer haha
When i gain control of my emotions then ill think about it
Im nice as a default, but few minutes are enough for me to dislike someone and not be nice to them anymore.
I start to hate huge portion of people actually, but I always remember there are good exceptions and when it comes to strangers, i cannot guess who is who.. so i wont behave bad to people i dont know yet.
I agree with you. Every human being deserves respect and dignity, it shouldn't always be earned. Once someone crosses that boundary, it's necessary to shut them off
Who's to say that and ounce of kindness is considered a pound of weakness. What is the expression of kindness.
I will keep being the way I am and if that means staying alone (*not lonely), so be it.
I have a testimony to give:
I used to simp over this girl that meant the world to me. I don't know if it's her personality that changed, or maybe I actually figured out who she really was, but I assumed that she lost interest in me only because I was acting WAY too nice. I look back at my messages to her, and I actually overdid it. I regret this :(. I really do. Please help😭. Any advice would work. Thank you.
I'm definitely the first one you mentioned. Very introverted, I don't really have any enemies, everyone who knows me doesn't have a problem with me or is just neutral I think. It kind of takes me a long time to be comfortable around people but I'm definitely getting better at it. I just have a hard time understanding why this is seen as a problem by people. I have had people just be rude to me for no reason, especially at my job when all I'm trying to do is help. I've been taken advantage of. I've been friendzoned too, thankfully only once. It just sucks that I feel like I have to change who I am because I don't want to be known as the nice guy. I feel like women can have pretty much any personality and be liked by someone. I know I'll find someone one day, my brother is the same way pretty much and he's married. Its just harder for us I guess
I'm definitely the second trait and I have done two martial arts, got punched in the face and guts and I still find a reason to blame other people for my misfortunes. I don't think a humbling experience would help at all. That is terrible advice. I personally have a rigid mindset due to previously having it easy and it is hard, not only for people like me but everyone to see things through a bigger lens because it's easy not to. Sometimes you need to sit down and shut your mind off for a bit and stay calm and stop imploding inwards. Being humbled would just make you find another reason to hate everyone and this is why a lot of people like me are timid and dislike socialising.
How did you come out out of it
I disagree with the statement, "girls can see a fake nice guy from a mile away".
Reason being is I have trained female wrestlers for many years and they have talked about guys to me. Usually it's one of the guy wrestlers so I know the person and sometimes they have labeled a genuinely kind man who has been kind to myself and his fellow male wrestler as a "nice guy" who has ulterior motives when he is kind to them.
Most women put nice guys and kind men in the same box and never bother to figure out who is who.
Thank you for this video sir
thank you as well sir
It blows my mind that no one here is talking about unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
This video hits home
Instead of viewing those guys that are good with girls as the problem. Would it be better to befriend them and learn from them? I want to take that approach now. I want to meet more successful men and learn from them. Is that a good idea?
0:44 - Rollo T. called that a BP’ed alpha, the Captain America type…strong but the nice guy.
Its quite shocking how few people know about the book Unveiling Your Hidden Potential
Yeah cuz reading a book will make all the girls fall in love with you.😂 Like a disney fairy tale
Bot
It works in Japanese dating.
This should be common sense.
Confucianism calls this Filial Piety not people pleasing that American culture calls it. It is valuable and not seen as a weakness.
Nice guy # 3 describe sort of me, but you’re kinda wrong… people like that isn’t sometimes mad at the world, they was probably pushed over by the world or understands how it works…plus these people don’t have friends not because nobody likes them, it’s because they try not to make many friends due to past experiences plus people usually don’t get what they want due to unrelated reasons such as fear, not being able to control their minds and making terrible decisions, etc I personally struggle with controlling my mind via spending habits mostly and I’m fixing that by giving myself constant feedback on my mistakes so I can improve, move my circle, and be the best version of myself by suffering and beating my flaws. So what I’m saying is you can’t just assume things or judge people if you don’t know them personally u probably had a friend like that but I don’t think u knew him the same way his close ones knew him…
Im all 3...cooked for life 😢
Look man being an introvert doesn't mean that you're a nice guy as the matter of fact being highly extroverted makes you a people pleaser. I myself I am an introvert and sometimes people see as aloof and cold hearted person & I love that because I don't please anybody I do what think is right for me nothing else
We don't share our thoughts and or opinions is because we both know it's going to be turned into ammo
Low-key if a girl is similar to a nice guy mindset I wouldn't want her at all lmfao
She'd most likely cheat.
If you want to be a nice guy you have to be able to be selfish and have the potential to be a dangerous individual. Only then you can choose to be a nice man and not indulge into your dark side. Otherwise you're not a nice man but a harmless pushover.
3:35 - People who are genuinely nice do win. It’s the ones pretending with an agenda that don’t. It is ‘genuinely’ be yourself. If you’re a soft guy and pretend to be ‘hard’ it won’t work, just be you. It also works if you’re an asshole, just be an asshole, the second you own it, you’re actually less of an asshole and can put a direction on it like being a boxer or CEO or something.
destiny is a good example, he’s a total dickhead who pretends he’s really nice. If he just owned he was an asshole, he would be a lot more attractive.
MGTOW for the win! Nice guys are also welcome.
can u do a video on what to do for the first date? Love ur vids btw
Earth= where nice is bad
My brother 35 is an introvert bad boy who display sociopathic behavior…Don’t follow society rules, can’t hold a job, unemployed, impulsive, don’t care attitude, illegal activities, mysterious, lack of empathy, incapable of love. Women stare at him like crazy, some of them give bedroom eyes but they don’t approach him because he is intimidating, look serious and cold at the same time. Go figure it out how women brain works what they crave for. He is skinny guy too…It’s not about the money at all. If women like what they see they will find you attractive no matter what.
Is there like a book i can read that helps on this? Specifically on , how to get rid of feminine traits in men? cuz boundary this boundary that , BUDDY i genuinely want to listen to their problems but not to help them for fix them but genuinely i just feel empathy for people regardless the gender.
empathy is not a feminine trait afaik
Read Nietzsche
geez this poor generation. If you want to listen to someones problems....who cares listen to it.
Fts I’m done caring about other people.
straight facts
I'm nice human not nice gay😂
Bro, what camera 📷 do you use? You always look crisp while dropping gems! Nice video and you are 1000% right ✅️
appreciate the love, and just a g7x / ring light, pretty basic camera haha
Guys an asian what youd expect 📷
Seriously godbless asian people/culture
🌏👲 👲🏻👲🏼👲🏽👲🏾👲🏿
well she acted like she did
What is passive guy mean??
It means doing nothing when a conflict happens. Whether you're involved or not. You definitely cannot be passive if someone disrespects you in front of your gf.
@@pantherman8719sometimes letting It go instead of getting into a fight because of fragile egos IS just maturity
@@cs1645 yeah but ppl won't understand or see it that way.
I was a juvenile delinquent starting in the 1st Grade and I always had a girlfriend until I graduated from highschool and gained weight. I activated women's hybristaphilia with my Emo bad boy persona.
💪🏾💪🏾💯
The second kind of “nice” guy that you describe is the “covert contract” kind of person (and in my experience, there are far more women like this than there are men like this, but less stick to the “nice guy” label for now). Some people do good things for others mainly because they assume that if you do enough good deeds for others (usually completely unsolicited favors, mind you), then that imposes an obligation of some sort on other people, or the universe, or God, or whatever, to live up to some unspoken expectation you have and manifest what you desire without you asking for it. You will find that other people resent having someone try to impose some type of contract or deal upon them that they did not agree to.
By way of example, say that you broke you leg, and one day you wake up to some noise outside, and when you shuffle outside in your bathrobe and crutches to investigate, you find that your neighbor - who is busy mowing your grass - announces to you that he saw that you were crippled this week, so he unilaterally decided (without asking you first, mind you) that he was going to do your yard work for you seeing how you can barely walk or get around. You say, “cool” and go back inside to eat your cereal and watch TV. You think nothing more of it, but a month later your neighbor drops by again, and this time he is angry. He accuses you of being an ingrate, and asks why you never threw a surprise birthday party for him last week. You ask, “Was I supposed to? What did I miss?” And he tells you that “everybody just knows” that when someone does yard work for you that you are supposed to pay them back by baking them some cookies or giving them a homemade pie, or whatever. He insists that it’s “common knowledge”, and he isn’t moved by your protests that you are not a “mind reader”, and that you never asked him to help you in the first place, he just volunteered. You just had an unspoken “contract” imposed upon you without your knowledge or your consent. If he had told you upfront what his unspoken expectations where, then you might have agreed to it, or not, but at least you would have had a choice, and you could have negotiated a deal. But he is not giving you that choice.
Covert contract people have a hard time expressing themselves, or asking directly for what they want, so they do kind things as a “hint” that they expect the world to follow their example and do something similar to them in return. Most normal people resent having obligations thrust upon them by covert people, and most people resent bringing judged for failing to meet unspoken expectations that you were not aware even existed. This is effeminate behavior, and it is unattractive when anyone does it, but it is especially unattractive when a heterosexual man acts like an immature girl - straight women are simply not attracted to a girly man. If you want something, then it is masculine behavior to be direct and upfront about what you want and expect from others. If you are doing my yard work in exchange for a favor, or in exchange for money, cookies, and apple pie, or whatever, then maybe you should have told me that before you got started, and we could have negotiated an exchange (or not, but at least I would have had the choice to accept or refuse).
Yes, relationships are a two way street, and you should end any relationship that you find yourself in where you are always the taker and the other person is always the giver (Why are you doing this, anyway? Are you trying to “buy” attention and affection?), but if you volunteer to do something nice for someone, the societal expectation is that no one owes you anything, since it was an unsolicited gift. Giving gifts in the expectation that this person is now indebted to you somehow, will always make other people upset.
I could expound more, but this comment is too long already. Have a good day.
Men, there is a massive difference between a 'Nice Guy' and a 'Good Man'. Be a Good Man, not a Nice Guy.
1:10 - at some point the really passive guy, like genuinely passive like a really christian guy does marry a really christian girl. They are a happy couple genuinely. The guy without a secret agenda does win. It’s the one with an agenda.
Weakest link
Im not a nice guy
They like nice guys. They don't like WEAK guys. And a lot of the times, they're kindness, and people pleasing make them look weak and like a door mat.
I am passive but definitely not a pushover. I will fight a mofo.
Same content as everybody else. Monotonous presentation.
This channel is going nowhere fast.
5:30
No
Bro stop lying to guys.
when you say you're a nice guy, you're basically giving the Seto Kaiba vibe from Yu-Gi-Oh! Season 0 when he said "I'm Seto Kaiba, I'm the nicest guy on the face of this planet".
As a woman I think guys dont seem to understand what a nice guy, bad boy, chad, real man are. They seem to think being a nice guy will get a girl to be loyal to you and like you for who you are that is not how real life is sadly.