One Sentence to INSTANTLY Pull The Avoidant Closer (For Anxious Attachment)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ก.ย. 2024
- One sentence to INSTANTLY pull the avoidant closer (for anxious attachment).
In "avoidant and anxious relationships", the avoidants are most likely to pull away when there is tension in the relationship, whenever they expect strong emotions or conflicts that they fear and are unable to deal with, so they pull away as a way to cope and stay safe temporarily. But for anxious attachment, the pain of abandonment anxiety is unbearable. BUT THERE IS A CURE. In this video, I will tell you what to do when an avoidant pulls away.
I see it this way, which will also help you understand: I often view the avoidant as a scared teenage boy. When there is the presence of an anxious parent, who lacks emotional boundaries and tends to engulf others emotionally, the teenager would definitely withdraw to feel safer because dealing with his own life and struggles is hard enough now he also has to deal with the anxiety from the parent and comfort the parent with overwhelming emotions. THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH. So he learns to handle it by hiding until the storm passes, not knowing how big the emotional storm is or how long it’s gonna last adds to the horror.
Now all you gotta do is to show them 1) you are safe, you are not the emotional storm, you are not the source of their horror and he doesn’t need to take responsibility for your happiness 2) you are secure enough to not take things personally or as a reflection of your worth.
Hope this video helps and please share it with people in need. 💗
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The advice is good but you can’t let people enter your life and leave you every time they want. There has to be consistency and honesty . The avoidant will definitely come back but they will not want to talk or resolve things. I’d say good luck to them! We deserve better
These people are Low-end narcs, steer clear of them. Dont walk....Run.
This is getting exhausting each n every time I've to do this
Honestly, I stepped outside of myself and realized I did chase my FA away and I’m an FA (I couldn’t hear her because I was trying to get my own needs met). It took being introspective and having another person have high expectations for me and remembering how I felt in a relationship with an anxious attachment to be like wooh I need to work on myself because when I meet someone I like I shift my focus directly on them and neglect everything else in my life. I briefly apologized and told her there were no expectations and she could come to me. It’s been a week of no contact. She may or may not ever come back she told me she usually only goes out twice a month and is an introvert. I had her out every week and stayed with her 2/3days.
They are like babies. Need constant reassuring. Coddling & enabling make worse. They suck your energy & give little. They shouldn't throw on us that we are unhealed etc...that's gaslighting. A mature adult expects decent communication, that's healthy.
Your perspective and use of example is just beautiful! I’m healing FA with a DA son and have been dating tons of DAs lately. Likewise, I trained in attachment theory and watch a lot of content online. Your video is absolutely my favorite!
💗 thank you:) glad it helps you
I used to say all those things to my ex until it turned out that during his avoidant periods he was on tinder.
🥲
@@HealwithRannn I guess that the bottom line is: follow your intuition. If you feel that something does not feel right, that you are not being treated well, than maybe it's best to follow that feeling instead of doubting yourself because your stule is anxious.
😮
My ex did the same ... blaming me for some awkward things..they are damage to the bones and destroying us without blinking
😳😳😳
great advice
💗
very helpful!!!
😊
Plz share your journey how you heal from social anxiety
Okay I will :)
@@HealwithRannn ty plz soon 🤗
Yea idk I don’t think he will ever come back
this is NOT good or helpful advice.
Why is that?
@@karinpowers1018 I suspect because it is enabling their unhelpful, avoidant behaviors and not how healthy relationship dynamics function.
Plz share your journey how you heal from social anxiety
：）