I’m feeling incomplete, broken, shameful, different in a bad way, being not able to have children. Thats why I look for videos like this. Looking into the eyes of someone grieving like me. I know there are people out there suffering like me but I can’t shake the feeling of being less than an ordinary person, failed by my own body.
being childfree is great, you will never experience you kid becoming a criminal one day or living thousands of miles away, never being estranged, or having a lifestyle say being gay or similar that the parent may not like. Kids are not toys
I get it. It's grieving the loss of someone I've waited your whole to meet. Its a grief every single time my cycle comes, and I have to work really hard not to be angry with my blameless body. It's shame, inaequacy, and notenoughness that is now evident in black and white proof.
Your body didn't fail you ,it is just bad luck , If you still really want to be a mum there is another way, Look into adopting a child who needs a loving home and parent .
My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone hurting and going through childlessness grief. Today is brutal for me with Easter, the kids stuff and also other losses. I begin grief counseling Thursday. May God comfort all of us 🙏
slay bae, slay the day queen,😂😂😂 i bet you regret all that independent garbage feminist you believed in huh? but wait a minute, according to feminists women can get pregnant forever right. you go girl.
According to psychologists, depression due to infertility is quite different from usual depression. This kind of depression includes the mélange of myriad emotions, which includes jealousy, obsession, anger, sadness, self-doubt, low self-image and loneliness. Many infertile women are known to withdraw themselves from social activities and they tend to get isolated. In our society, the notion of a happy family is associated with children and womanhood is associated with pregnancy. So, couples who do not have kids feel incomplete and unhappy. The anger and jealousy increases when other friends of the same age group have children and have a so-called happy family. At such moments, women start blaming themselves. The feeling of guilt becomes strong when they realize. That their spouse or in-laws and other relatives are desperately waiting for the new member in the family. And when women feel that they are depriving others of the happiness. It makes them feel even guiltier and lose all their self-confidence. Dealing with depression becomes difficult in such a mental state. In such cases I would prefer a psychologist. My therapist in Bio tex did a pretty good job.
well it's not just about our own feelings of jealousy or sadness when friends start families; it's simply a fact that people move in a direction with their lives where I can't follow them if I don't have kids of my own. Their schedules, interests, even values change profoundly. I've spent enough time invited to "movie night" with a couple of friends quietly snoring beside me or a wife or husband simply going to bed early while I was their guest; enough meals that were supposed to be festive turn into a happy sharing of disgusting details of birthing or baby's digestion; enough meetings with friends listening to their problems with a mortgage or a car (none of which I need since I live alone); in short, enough weekends completely ALONE because literally ALL of my friends spend their free time with their partners and kids and don't even think of single and childless friends such as myself maybe needing some company.
Well it's not jealousy it is the treatment from society those so called parents made a childless couple hurt and depressed their behavior and their words are very hurtful I know and I have seen with my eyes. the world of the so called parents don't understand the pain of those childless couple and family wants only benefits from them and they are not there when they need them.
I want to share the pain me as a man i am also going through. I feel so deprived from fatherhood. I think that maybe i can’t have children because i would have been a bad dad or something. I feel so worthless and without a purpose in life. Not being able to love, provide, raise a child , and sacrifice for my children. The sadness that is growing in me is huge. I don’t blame my wife and i love her. She has been able to surrender this feeling better than i have been able to.
All the men I have known in this situation left their wives to have children with other women when their wife couldn't have a baby. Same as the men who leave their wives when they get sick. This is a story I didn't expect.
I am in my early 40’s and went through my divorce in my mid 30’s, assuming by now I would be able to find a partner to start a family. However that did not happen, and every once in a while I can’t help but feel this yearning for a baby, and hopelessness. I wonder if I would ever get over this….heartache.
slay queen. 😂😂 where is that feminist propaganda to help you now huh?? old women who think they are the same prize after 30 that they were in their teens and 20s are delusional. slay the day bae. nice job of ending your genetic heritage. now go be a boss babe queen. slay the day yo
This is so true. Although some people find it hard to accept it. Those who undergo infertility end up being jealous if their friends and families. Seeing others with children yet to you it seems like a dream that will never come to pass is something that hurts. I am glad that you have decided to share that here. Many women out there tend not to accept this fact but it is something that we undergo. I have been in fertile for 5 years. You cannot imagine the number of time s I cried myself silly just because I do not have children. Then I get invitations to baby showers or birthdays. I could just feel the pain in me not leave. It is something that you try to hide but with time it just shows itself out. But since I conceived in Bio tex clinic. I feel like a relief. So let other women out there learn from this.
Congrats on your success! if we talk about surrogacy, then it has not so many destinations as it might seem..In the EU, Austria, Germany, Sweden, France, Hungary and Italy all forms of surrogacy are prohibited, paid-for or not. Britain, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark and Greece allow surrogacy, as long as no commercial element is involved! On the other hand, in Ukraine, for example, after signing a surrogacy contract, the surrogate mother surrenders all rights to the child carried. Only the names of the biological parents are entered on the birth certificate! Though the law is not the only reason why couples seeking for surrogacy come to Ukraine. The main reason is affordable costs in the majority of cases.
This person is obviously advertising. So gross. They're leaving comments pretending to empathize and then throwing the clinic's name in at the end. If you're coming here to advertise on a sensitive topic, be honest and upfront about it out of respect. First to the lovely lady that shared her story and to all of us here. This is repulsive.
I can relate to you my dear. My all prayers for all those out there who are fighting this battle.may Allah rewards you best for your patience. Motherhood is every woman's desire and alot of women get it for free but few are being tested on it. Donot undermine yourself you are amongst those strong women who your Lord thought could pass this test.
This must take serious guts to tell your story online. I'm so pround of you being so brave and strong! Somebody I know well has type 2 MRKH is currently undergoing surrogacy with mitochondrial donation overseas. Family and closest friends encouraged her to go to Ukraine. I'm in hope she'll share their success story one day. Some of the background: She had period almost at 12. Then when she was 18, she had an ectopic pregnancy. She took all the tests to see why an they told her that her body wasn't capable of carrying a baby. MRKH is a heavy burden, I'm not facing it myself but truly feel the pain of thousands who've been facing the condition..The kind lady I've told about has moved down to surrogacy route with mitochondrial donation.
I'm still single because of my immature ovaries issue,,can't have my own kids but yeah looking forward to accept someone sincere along with his kids😊 ,,,,life is really unpredictable 🙄
I'm in my thirties, I cry everyday because of childlessness. I wanted to be married and have kids at 23, eventhough everyone said that's too young. I knew I wanted kids. And now I'm almost infertile. I say almost because I'm bordering early menopause bwcUze of health problems. I tried to figure out my health problems for 30 years, unfortunately I came to solutions a little late and several organs are "in sufficient" and I'm so hurt about it. I wish I didn't care about health and just married young and had babies young. But I wanted to be a healthy Mona dn thought it was good to fix myself first and now corona almost wrecked me. And I'm sis care Di get panic attacks and I cry on good days too. I did not know I could grieve something I never had. It make some not wanna look to the future another. There is this cold es son my life and I'm sad. It's fear and general unhappiness about where I am in life. It's also sadness of the picture I had about my life and not being there yet Hopefully one day.
I have one daughter soon after marriage then took 9 years to conceive again I have pcos but thank god went for a homeopathic doctor and now have 4kids.
i feel for you.. we also have been trying but my endometriosis and adenomyosis made sure we can't.. and we are at the end of our fertility journey as i am about to have a hysterectomy.. the guilt, pain, grief, heavenly questions and all other heavy heart emotions cannot be put into words.. and worse part is when you are surrounded by people who don't understand or are insensitive to what you are going through and your situation - it's on another level.
I am a single women because life didn’t happen in that way of finding the right partner. And I’m 42 but I can not compare my childless situation by any means with someone wo tried IVF until the end without results. I think when you start this process you are so invested mentally and physically . So when it doesn’t happen. This is full on grief… I have friends who I try to support in their grief. But it really breaks my heart… The lost their love of their life, I feel that not having to have a child when you really want to..that this is full on grief in losing a loved one. People should be more involved in the seriousness of it. My friends are heartbroken. And I know for a fact that being childless myself..maybe gives a little comfort for them..not being confronted that much. But in the end doesn’t change the fact that their hurting is a very severe suffering. What hurts me is that most IVF treatments and results are so private. That they almost feel ashamed for sharing it. And I hate that! A life so welcomed prayed and suffered for, that didn’t got a chance. It makes me feel so humble for everything that we don’t realise and take for granted..
I been trying over 3 years and wish I had the funds to go do all the checks and treatment it's so hard and sad it hurts watching everyone you love go through that feeling and you here wish it was you
My husband keeps saying he wants children, and then when it's supposed to happen, he gives up. It's been like this for 3 years. I have pcos. We went to IVF, again, he keeps saying he wants to do it, and then left me before all 3 of them. Then he left me. He has been stringing me along for 6 years now. I'm 39 yo. I feel like he's ruined my life.
There is nothing worse than wanting a baby and then counting pregnant women wherever you are. I’m not kidding, I’ve really counted them. Think about it. Everywhere you go, there are women who are pregnant. You can’t avoid them and they serve as a constant reminder of the baby that you want so badly that you can’t have. That wanting, that longing feels almost unbearable at times. We can use feelings of jealousy as a way to learn and grow within ourselves and our relationships. The Dalai Lama said that sometimes not getting what we want is a wonderful stroke of luck. When we look at a pregnant woman with envy. This actually has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. We need to reframe our experience and hone in on how not having what we want makes us feel. Practicing mindfulness and loving kindness can calm your fear based negative thinking. Journaling, exercise and nature are just a few healthy outlets that can assist in the processing of emotions. I learnt this in Bio tex clinic and has really helped me.
I totally agree. Two women on my job just had children and it was a struggle having to witness both pregnancies on a daily basis. Thanks for this insightful post.
I did exactly the same thing as you a few days before Christmas 2020....I sat near a strip of shops and started counting all the pregnant women that walked past me in a space of 20 mins... the total was 7!!
As a childfree person, I always looked at pregnant women with pity, like they were making a mistake they couldn't yet realize, yet the only mistake in life that you can never undo. I've seen a former classmate with a baby and she had this tired look, and I just felt so sad for her. I feel empathy when I see others' kids, I like seeing them laugh and play, but those are tiny experiences, and the real parenthood is full of mostly experiences, obligations, and sacrifices that make the price not worth it in any way. Even worse, the idea of bringing yet another human into this world is deeply morally unattactive to me. So it is a matter of perspective. We know from science that people who have kids are less happy than people without kids (so called parenting happines gap), so to me it seems more that the fact that a person is unable to have something makes them sadder just because they are unable to do it, not because getting that thing will actually make them happier.
So true on and top of that for me on social media moms now post monthly updates of their baby so it’s continuously there to face on top of moms everywhere just so overwhelming and sad for me! I didn’t even know I suffered from depression of this till now!
Has anyone else experienced childlessness because of being unable to find the right partner? I’m 28 and never wanted to have kids in my 30’s and I’m still childless. I wanted to have kids earlier in my 20’s because I’ve had the means but I ended up miscarrying when I did get pregnant and have had no luck with relationships since. I’m trying to accept the fact that I won’t be having kids but I’ve never met anyone else in a similar situation
I'm a 44 male and I desperately want to become a father but I don't believe this will happen. No fertility problem but I do suffer from a bipolar disorder and I have financial issues. This makes it difficult to get involved into a romantic relationship and keeping it. I have so much love and support to give but there are no children to give it to :-(
My husband and I married 16 years ago when I was 27, and he was 44. We've had financial issues, and I'm the breadwinner. We've got children who are loved, and it's OK not to be rolling in money. Just focus on getting yourself stabilized, and the rest isn't much of an issue. All the best, dear.
I dont know girls but trust me that when its about you not being able to afford it its almost as worse as not being able to convince…. I am devastated this era is failing us … i just cannot believe i wont be able to be a mother and because i am responsible too! I will never have a baby and have nothing to give or future
I empathize with this woman, her sadness is evident. I know adoption can be an expensive and arduous process, but so is going through multiple rounds of IVF over the course of time. My friend just went through several rounds costing upwards of $70k. She now has twins, but her marriage suffered and she is going through a divorce. Life is not so cut and dry. I hope this couple didn't resign themselves to being childfree if they really want to raise a child. There are so many children up for fostering and adoption who would benefit from this couple's love and desire to be parents. Not everyone is meant to be a parent; if that were the case, and carrying on bloodlines/legacies were that important, there would no such thing as adoption, no surplus of children in need of loving homes. Anyway, I wish them well
there aren't actually enough children up for adoption. And consider what fostering means: Looking after a child and after a while HAVING TO GIVE THEM BACK again. Do you really think that would heal the pain of not being able to have your own child? Please, think again.
You’re a lying azz olehoe. There’s actually 36 gay and straight US couples waiting on ea adoptable baby. Plus it cost 49k++ You got a lot of nerve telling loss parents to “foster”. They have suffered enough. If you’re so concerned about foster children you’re more than welcome to foster.
No offense, but it is not the responsibility of the infertile to raise adopted children. Adopted children are not a "consolation prize," for infertility. Adopting is a unique path to parenthood, that should be a FIRST CHOICE. Why don't fertile people "adopt," instead of having biological children? Why is that never discussed? Do not forget that adopted children also tend to have more psychological issues than their biological peers (even if adopted as infants), along with the pathway being incredibly expensive if in the US.
How about sadness & grief from not dating, no parents, no siblings, not working, not getting unemployment- not even living with others . This life is miserable.
I tried many ways for many years and unsupported by GP. I could never justify cost of IVF when there are so many needy children in the world. I wanted children, any children they did not have to come from my body in order for me to love them - BUT - social services wasted many years, due to my bad back and because I was not living with a man, finally telling me that they did not think they would ever have a child in the county who would benefit from my family
I just accepted that I am inferior. all my life I tried to fight that feeling, but it caught up to me in a way that can not be fixed. so... there it is, I am less than everyone. congrats to this world for defeating me :) way to go God! did a great job not giving a fluff about me :) nice job with cancer right on the ovaries... thanks. no worries, i am not trying anymore, I accept defeat, hope to not wake up but unfortunately I keep waking up. well! god needs more fun tormenting me. he aint' done yet.
I can feel the pain. I tried conceiving for five years before things went well for me. It is not like I had not tried other means. 2 failed IUI and one failed IVF. My insurance did not cover the costs so you can imagine how I felt. But the good point is that Bio tex clinic is so affordable. At least it was not that much of a pain financially. However I did feel pain. Looking forward to get pregnant then it does not work. The wait and anxiety. It is painful I can tell. I have been there three times and I know exactly what you are trying to mean. But one has to try hard to prevent the spill of emotions. Making one feel like a loser. Not having a baby is not a crime. Actually when dealing with a health problem. It is a problem like any other and hopefully it will have a solution. You just have to be patient.
Yeah, but there are those of us who literally end our childbearing years, without children. While I don't discredit your infertility journey, you still were able to have children. My story (and this woman's story) are very different. It's not the same. I'm in my 40s now, and it's over. You must accept it, and move on.
As a childfree, browsing this comment section made me so sad. Like I truly believe that most of those people desperately want something that ultimately won't make them the happiest they can be. It's like seeing a group of people each imposing needless suffering on themselves ruminating about how they can't get a gun and shot themselves in an arm, like all other people who shoot themselves in an arm. Totally needless emotional pain, especially considering that, on average, people without children are even happier than people with children. So they want something that will make them, on average, less happy in long term, and they are suffering because they can't get it.
@@danielevergreen1133 Yes, right? It's so weird to see people wanting so desperatley something you can have and don't want to have and you are so happy not having it, like everyday I start my day thinking "I can sleep in because I don't have children", I can go in vacation anytime because I don't have children etc etc...such a beautiful life, how can people not enjoy it? 🤦
@@mianeculcea6789 Because everyone is different, and wants different things. Some people have only ever wanted to be parents and have a strong nurturing instinct, and they want to live within a family unit. Others love freedom, others want a high flying careers, others want to travel etc. I understand people who want children, and I understand people who don't.
Seriously, some of you childfree people are so incredibly stuck up. How about appreciating or acknowledging the pain of others and moving on? Must it always be about you? Being childfree should not mean lacking empathy and tact.
I am luckily to be childfree. I don't feel any grief, just relief. It is wonderful to have freedom, no debt, no custody battle drama, none of my kids will be a murder, conartist, drink driver, rapist. It is cruel to have kids so they will suffer and experience death, all for selfish needs of the parent.
Imagine the grief felt by the hundreds of thousands of children who languish in the adoption and foster care system because people insist on making "their own" children, even when their bodies are totally unsuited to the task. I have zero sympathy for people who want children but refuse to adopt or foster. Get over your own ego, and you can have children much easier than via IVF.
@@Jmarie092 Every IVF baby means another child who won't be adopted or fostered. IVF should be banned ASAP, until there are no children waiting for adoptive/foster parents. IVF is 100% about serving your own ego and narcissism, which is the opposite of what having children should be about.
@@joshklaver47 Im a woman going through IVF and I personally do not wish to adopt. It's not up to all infertile people to adopt children. Are you going to adopt one of these children? If not then keep your useless opinion to yourself. People dealing with infertility dont need to hear your personal opinion on a topic you probably have no personal experience in.
@@Jmarie092 So basically, you don't care about the 400,000+ children in the adoption and foster care system who will be neglected and abused because you couldn't find it in you to love a child that isn't "yours." It's like I said before. IVF is all about feeding the selfish and narcissistic desire for biological children. I hope your IVF doesn't work(it fails more often than not), and I hope you can set your ego aside long enough to adopt or foster. As long as this is the way you view parenthood, you don't deserve to have children.
You can always adopt a child. I don't know what the big deal is. I think a lot of women grieve that they can't be pregnant, but you can always be a parent if you really want to be.
Shawnny Colin I swear half of it is keeping up with the Jones's. Like when your friend has a nice car/house you want to copy them. I never want children but I understand why people do. Why adoption isn't an option for people like the woman in this interview is a total mystery to me
@@showoffw7370 why did you even come to this page. Guessing you had kids the easy way. You prob have no idea what it is like to be childless or understand how difficult and expensive it is to just adopt as you said.
@@showoffw7370 Completely and utterly out of touch. Going through infertility is one of the most traumatic things, and your comment clearly shows a lack of empathy.
Adopting isn't as easy as you seem to believe it is. It might even be harder than IVF or treatments. That is unless, the person is famous with millions of dollars. Then they can adopt 20 kids.
I’m feeling incomplete, broken, shameful, different in a bad way, being not able to have children. Thats why I look for videos like this. Looking into the eyes of someone grieving like me. I know there are people out there suffering like me but I can’t shake the feeling of being less than an ordinary person, failed by my own body.
being childfree is great, you will never experience you kid becoming a criminal one day or living thousands of miles away, never being estranged, or having a lifestyle say being gay or similar that the parent may not like. Kids are not toys
I get it. It's grieving the loss of someone I've waited your whole to meet. Its a grief every single time my cycle comes, and I have to work really hard not to be angry with my blameless body. It's shame, inaequacy, and notenoughness that is now evident in black and white proof.
I so identify with every you written
@@beaulieuc8910Found the coper.
Your body didn't fail you ,it is just bad luck , If you still really want to be a mum there is another way, Look into adopting a child who needs a loving home and parent .
My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone hurting and going through childlessness grief. Today is brutal for me with Easter, the kids stuff and also other losses. I begin grief counseling Thursday. May God comfort all of us 🙏
❤❤❤
I'm trying to come to terms with never being able to have a baby and I just feel a strange blanket of sadness most of the time
slay bae, slay the day queen,😂😂😂 i bet you regret all that independent garbage feminist you believed in huh? but wait a minute, according to feminists women can get pregnant forever right. you go girl.
According to psychologists, depression due to infertility is quite different from usual depression. This kind of depression includes the mélange of myriad emotions, which includes jealousy, obsession, anger, sadness, self-doubt, low self-image and loneliness. Many infertile women are known to withdraw themselves from social activities and they tend to get isolated. In our society, the notion of a happy family is associated with children and womanhood is associated with pregnancy. So, couples who do not have kids feel incomplete and unhappy. The anger and jealousy increases when other friends of the same age group have children and have a so-called happy family. At such moments, women start blaming themselves. The feeling of guilt becomes strong when they realize. That their spouse or in-laws and other relatives are desperately waiting for the new member in the family. And when women feel that they are depriving others of the happiness. It makes them feel even guiltier and lose all their self-confidence. Dealing with depression becomes difficult in such a mental state. In such cases I would prefer a psychologist. My therapist in Bio tex did a pretty good job.
Psychology is pseudoscience bullshit.
@@theultimatereductionist7592 therapy is very helpful.
well it's not just about our own feelings of jealousy or sadness when friends start families; it's simply a fact that people move in a direction with their lives where I can't follow them if I don't have kids of my own. Their schedules, interests, even values change profoundly. I've spent enough time invited to "movie night" with a couple of friends quietly snoring beside me or a wife or husband simply going to bed early while I was their guest; enough meals that were supposed to be festive turn into a happy sharing of disgusting details of birthing or baby's digestion; enough meetings with friends listening to their problems with a mortgage or a car (none of which I need since I live alone); in short, enough weekends completely ALONE because literally ALL of my friends spend their free time with their partners and kids and don't even think of single and childless friends such as myself maybe needing some company.
This applies to single woman who couldn't find a suitable partner as well. Why don't you hang out with them?
Well it's not jealousy it is the treatment from society those so called parents made a childless couple hurt and depressed their behavior and their words are very hurtful I know and I have seen with my eyes. the world of the so called parents don't understand the pain of those childless couple and family wants only benefits from them and they are not there when they need them.
I want to share the pain me as a man i am also going through. I feel so deprived from fatherhood. I think that maybe i can’t have children because i would have been a bad dad or something. I feel so worthless and without a purpose in life. Not being able to love, provide, raise a child , and sacrifice for my children. The sadness that is growing in me is huge. I don’t blame my wife and i love her. She has been able to surrender this feeling better than i have been able to.
Have you tried to adopt?
Thank you for sharing. I'm a man, watching my wife raise her child, who's now unable to give me any children, and it feels so isolating...
All the men I have known in this situation left their wives to have children with other women when their wife couldn't have a baby. Same as the men who leave their wives when they get sick. This is a story I didn't expect.
Trying for 11 years cannot explain the pain it's a constant reminder of wat I miss n luck .
I hope you're doing well. I'm so sorry.
@@justpaddingtonbear thnxs am doing hopefully i will be happy n fulfilled very soon
I am in my early 40’s and went through my divorce in my mid 30’s, assuming by now I would be able to find a partner to start a family. However that did not happen, and every once in a while I can’t help but feel this yearning for a baby, and hopelessness. I wonder if I would ever get over this….heartache.
slay queen. 😂😂 where is that feminist propaganda to help you now huh?? old women who think they are the same prize after 30 that they were in their teens and 20s are delusional. slay the day bae. nice job of ending your genetic heritage. now go be a boss babe queen. slay the day yo
I felt your pain when you shared your story. I cried with you and cried for me since every word you said rang so deep within me
you have so emotional face ...the way you tell your story is so touching..my Allah rewords you and replace your grief with happiness, he knows better
I wish you peace and happiness. I grieve every day.
This is so true. Although some people find it hard to accept it. Those who undergo infertility end up being jealous if their friends and families. Seeing others with children yet to you it seems like a dream that will never come to pass is something that hurts. I am glad that you have decided to share that here. Many women out there tend not to accept this fact but it is something that we undergo. I have been in fertile for 5 years. You cannot imagine the number of time s I cried myself silly just because I do not have children. Then I get invitations to baby showers or birthdays. I could just feel the pain in me not leave. It is something that you try to hide but with time it just shows itself out. But since I conceived in Bio tex clinic. I feel like a relief. So let other women out there learn from this.
Congrats on your success! if we talk about surrogacy, then it has not so many destinations as it might seem..In the EU, Austria, Germany, Sweden, France, Hungary and Italy all forms of surrogacy are prohibited, paid-for or not. Britain, the Netherlands, Belgium, Denmark and Greece allow surrogacy, as long as no commercial element is involved! On the other hand, in Ukraine, for example, after signing a surrogacy contract, the surrogate mother surrenders all rights to the child carried. Only the names of the biological parents are entered on the birth certificate! Though the law is not the only reason why couples seeking for surrogacy come to Ukraine. The main reason is affordable costs in the majority of cases.
This person is obviously advertising. So gross. They're leaving comments pretending to empathize and then throwing the clinic's name in at the end. If you're coming here to advertise on a sensitive topic, be honest and upfront about it out of respect. First to the lovely lady that shared her story and to all of us here. This is repulsive.
Hugs. Thank you for sharing. That is such a brave thing to do!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you so much for this post Kelly, it's so good to feel less alone xx
Bex x good luck in your journey X I am praying x
I can relate to you my dear. My all prayers for all those out there who are fighting this battle.may Allah rewards you best for your patience. Motherhood is every woman's desire and alot of women get it for free but few are being tested on it. Donot undermine yourself you are amongst those strong women who your Lord thought could pass this test.
This must take serious guts to tell your story online. I'm so pround of you being so brave and strong! Somebody I know well has type 2 MRKH is currently undergoing surrogacy with mitochondrial donation
overseas. Family and closest friends encouraged her to go to Ukraine. I'm in hope she'll share their success story one day. Some of the background: She had period almost at 12. Then when she was 18, she had an ectopic pregnancy. She took all the tests to see why an they told her that her body wasn't capable of carrying a baby. MRKH is a heavy burden, I'm not facing it myself but truly feel the pain
of thousands who've been facing the condition..The kind lady I've told about has moved down to surrogacy route with mitochondrial donation.
I'm still single because of my immature ovaries issue,,can't have my own kids but yeah looking forward to accept someone sincere along with his kids😊 ,,,,life is really unpredictable 🙄
Kelly your honesty is inspiring xxx
I'm in my thirties, I cry everyday because of childlessness. I wanted to be married and have kids at 23, eventhough everyone said that's too young. I knew I wanted kids. And now I'm almost infertile. I say almost because I'm bordering early menopause bwcUze of health problems. I tried to figure out my health problems for 30 years, unfortunately I came to solutions a little late and several organs are "in sufficient" and I'm so hurt about it. I wish I didn't care about health and just married young and had babies young. But I wanted to be a healthy Mona dn thought it was good to fix myself first and now corona almost wrecked me. And I'm sis care Di get panic attacks and I cry on good days too. I did not know I could grieve something I never had. It make some not wanna look to the future another. There is this cold es son my life and I'm sad. It's fear and general unhappiness about where I am in life. It's also sadness of the picture I had about my life and not being there yet
Hopefully one day.
dont cry!! i m so sorry, praying for you!! i am also trying
I have one daughter soon after marriage then took 9 years to conceive again I have pcos but thank god went for a homeopathic doctor and now have 4kids.
i feel for you.. we also have been trying but my endometriosis and adenomyosis made sure we can't.. and we are at the end of our fertility journey as i am about to have a hysterectomy.. the guilt, pain, grief, heavenly questions and all other heavy heart emotions cannot be put into words.. and worse part is when you are surrounded by people who don't understand or are insensitive to what you are going through and your situation - it's on another level.
2.5 years of trying and this video is so relatable. Thank you 🙏🏼
I am a single women because life didn’t happen in that way of finding the right partner. And I’m 42 but I can not compare my childless situation by any means with someone wo tried IVF until the end without results.
I think when you start this process you are so invested mentally and physically . So when it doesn’t happen. This is full on grief… I have friends who I try to support in their grief. But it really breaks my heart… The lost their love of their life, I feel that not having to have a child when you really want to..that this is full on grief in losing a loved one. People should be more involved in the seriousness of it. My friends are heartbroken. And I know for a fact that being childless myself..maybe gives a little comfort for them..not being confronted that much. But in the end doesn’t change the fact that their hurting is a very severe suffering. What hurts me is that most IVF treatments and results are so private. That they almost feel ashamed for sharing it. And I hate that! A life so welcomed prayed and suffered for, that didn’t got a chance. It makes me feel so humble for everything that we don’t realise and take for granted..
I been trying over 3 years and wish I had the funds to go do all the checks and treatment it's so hard and sad it hurts watching everyone you love go through that feeling and you here wish it was you
I'm in year 21 of trying to conceive with severe PCOS. 2023 is the last year I'm going to try. 🤞🏻
why?
@@beaulieuc8910 cuz I turned 40 and now I'm too old.
@@shannoncreekmore8561 but accroding to feminist women are never too old to get pregnant😂😂😂
@@spiritofalaska I'm for now. Done trying.
My husband keeps saying he wants children, and then when it's supposed to happen, he gives up. It's been like this for 3 years. I have pcos. We went to IVF, again, he keeps saying he wants to do it, and then left me before all 3 of them. Then he left me. He has been stringing me along for 6 years now. I'm 39 yo. I feel like he's ruined my life.
There is nothing worse than wanting a baby and then counting pregnant women wherever you are. I’m not kidding, I’ve really counted them. Think about it. Everywhere you go, there are women who are pregnant. You can’t avoid them and they serve as a constant reminder of the baby that you want so badly that you can’t have. That wanting, that longing feels almost unbearable at times. We can use feelings of jealousy as a way to learn and grow within ourselves and our relationships. The Dalai Lama said that sometimes not getting what we want is a wonderful stroke of luck. When we look at a pregnant woman with envy. This actually has nothing to do with them and everything to do with us. We need to reframe our experience and hone in on how not having what we want makes us feel. Practicing mindfulness and loving kindness can calm your fear based negative thinking. Journaling, exercise and nature are just a few healthy outlets that can assist in the processing of emotions. I learnt this in Bio tex clinic and has really helped me.
I totally agree. Two women on my job just had children and it was a struggle having to witness both pregnancies on a daily basis. Thanks for this insightful post.
I did exactly the same thing as you a few days before Christmas 2020....I sat near a strip of shops and started counting all the pregnant women that walked past me in a space of 20 mins... the total was 7!!
As a childfree person, I always looked at pregnant women with pity, like they were making a mistake they couldn't yet realize, yet the only mistake in life that you can never undo. I've seen a former classmate with a baby and she had this tired look, and I just felt so sad for her.
I feel empathy when I see others' kids, I like seeing them laugh and play, but those are tiny experiences, and the real parenthood is full of mostly experiences, obligations, and sacrifices that make the price not worth it in any way. Even worse, the idea of bringing yet another human into this world is deeply morally unattactive to me.
So it is a matter of perspective. We know from science that people who have kids are less happy than people without kids (so called parenting happines gap), so to me it seems more that the fact that a person is unable to have something makes them sadder just because they are unable to do it, not because getting that thing will actually make them happier.
@@danielevergreen1133 so true!!
So true on and top of that for me on social media moms now post monthly updates of their baby so it’s continuously there to face on top of moms everywhere just so overwhelming and sad for me! I didn’t even know I suffered from depression of this till now!
Has anyone else experienced childlessness because of being unable to find the right partner? I’m 28 and never wanted to have kids in my 30’s and I’m still childless. I wanted to have kids earlier in my 20’s because I’ve had the means but I ended up miscarrying when I did get pregnant and have had no luck with relationships since. I’m trying to accept the fact that I won’t be having kids but I’ve never met anyone else in a similar situation
I'm a 44 male and I desperately want to become a father but I don't believe this will happen. No fertility problem but I do suffer from a bipolar disorder and I have financial issues. This makes it difficult to get involved into a romantic relationship and keeping it. I have so much love and support to give but there are no children to give it to :-(
Does medication help?
@@missnicthomas Yes it is. Big fan of him :)
Your not too old have faith.
you're socially infertile
My husband and I married 16 years ago when I was 27, and he was 44. We've had financial issues, and I'm the breadwinner. We've got children who are loved, and it's OK not to be rolling in money. Just focus on getting yourself stabilized, and the rest isn't much of an issue. All the best, dear.
I dont know girls but trust me that when its about you not being able to afford it its almost as worse as not being able to convince…. I am devastated this era is failing us … i just cannot believe i wont be able to be a mother and because i am responsible too! I will never have a baby and have nothing to give or future
I empathize with this woman, her sadness is evident. I know adoption can be an expensive and arduous process, but so is going through multiple rounds of IVF over the course of time. My friend just went through several rounds costing upwards of $70k. She now has twins, but her marriage suffered and she is going through a divorce.
Life is not so cut and dry. I hope this couple didn't resign themselves to being childfree if they really want to raise a child. There are so many children up for fostering and adoption who would benefit from this couple's love and desire to be parents.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent; if that were the case, and carrying on bloodlines/legacies were that important, there would no such thing as adoption, no surplus of children in need of loving homes. Anyway, I wish them well
Very insensitive comment smh
there aren't actually enough children up for adoption. And consider what fostering means: Looking after a child and after a while HAVING TO GIVE THEM BACK again. Do you really think that would heal the pain of not being able to have your own child? Please, think again.
@@fiedelmina to say not everyone is meant to be a parent is distasteful PERIOD!!
You’re a lying azz olehoe. There’s actually 36 gay and straight US couples waiting on ea adoptable baby. Plus it cost 49k++
You got a lot of nerve telling loss parents to “foster”. They have suffered enough. If you’re so concerned about foster children you’re more than welcome to foster.
No offense, but it is not the responsibility of the infertile to raise adopted children. Adopted children are not a "consolation prize," for infertility. Adopting is a unique path to parenthood, that should be a FIRST CHOICE. Why don't fertile people "adopt," instead of having biological children? Why is that never discussed? Do not forget that adopted children also tend to have more psychological issues than their biological peers (even if adopted as infants), along with the pathway being incredibly expensive if in the US.
so sorry that you had to go through this
How about sadness & grief from not dating, no parents, no siblings, not working, not getting unemployment- not even living with others
. This life is miserable.
i def get what you are saying, i am praying for you!
exactly, that is sadness
Worst night mare of ppo wanting a family..it's too painful..feels as if you have no purpose in life..
that is nonsense. a woman isn't just a baby making factory
I tried many ways for many years and unsupported by GP. I could never justify cost of IVF when there are so many needy children in the world. I wanted children, any children they did not have to come from my body in order for me to love them - BUT - social services wasted many years, due to my bad back and because I was not living with a man, finally telling me that they did not think they would ever have a child in the county who would benefit from my family
I just accepted that I am inferior. all my life I tried to fight that feeling, but it caught up to me in a way that can not be fixed. so... there it is, I am less than everyone. congrats to this world for defeating me :) way to go God! did a great job not giving a fluff about me :) nice job with cancer right on the ovaries... thanks. no worries, i am not trying anymore, I accept defeat, hope to not wake up but unfortunately I keep waking up. well! god needs more fun tormenting me. he aint' done yet.
I had IVF, lost 4 bb from miscarriage, now I feel very sad and afraid I won't be able to actually have a child.
being childfree is great, count your blessings, to have all that freedom to be you and no debt, and custody battles
Have faith love🇳🇦
I am going through this now.
Best wishes. Your story touched me.
I can feel the pain. I tried conceiving for five years before things went well for me. It is not like I had not tried other means. 2 failed IUI and one failed IVF. My insurance did not cover the costs so you can imagine how I felt. But the good point is that Bio tex clinic is so affordable. At least it was not that much of a pain financially. However I did feel pain. Looking forward to get pregnant then it does not work. The wait and anxiety. It is painful I can tell. I have been there three times and I know exactly what you are trying to mean. But one has to try hard to prevent the spill of emotions. Making one feel like a loser. Not having a baby is not a crime. Actually when dealing with a health problem. It is a problem like any other and hopefully it will have a solution. You just have to be patient.
Yeah, but there are those of us who literally end our childbearing years, without children. While I don't discredit your infertility journey, you still were able to have children. My story (and this woman's story) are very different. It's not the same. I'm in my 40s now, and it's over. You must accept it, and move on.
I truly belive in pain and feeling of childlessness divine has graced and blessed us to be our self.. live life enjoy life
❤️
Thank you for sharing this
It hurts so bad.....I don't envy or anything like that .
It lonely journey that seems not ends
😪😪😪😪
im childfree, why is youtube recommending this to me
As a childfree, browsing this comment section made me so sad. Like I truly believe that most of those people desperately want something that ultimately won't make them the happiest they can be. It's like seeing a group of people each imposing needless suffering on themselves ruminating about how they can't get a gun and shot themselves in an arm, like all other people who shoot themselves in an arm. Totally needless emotional pain, especially considering that, on average, people without children are even happier than people with children. So they want something that will make them, on average, less happy in long term, and they are suffering because they can't get it.
@@danielevergreen1133 Yes, right? It's so weird to see people wanting so desperatley something you can have and don't want to have and you are so happy not having it, like everyday I start my day thinking "I can sleep in because I don't have children", I can go in vacation anytime because I don't have children etc etc...such a beautiful life, how can people not enjoy it? 🤦
@@mianeculcea6789 Because everyone is different, and wants different things. Some people have only ever wanted to be parents and have a strong nurturing instinct, and they want to live within a family unit. Others love freedom, others want a high flying careers, others want to travel etc. I understand people who want children, and I understand people who don't.
Seriously, some of you childfree people are so incredibly stuck up. How about appreciating or acknowledging the pain of others and moving on? Must it always be about you? Being childfree should not mean lacking empathy and tact.
@@mary_puffinWhere did you get that from?
I am luckily to be childfree. I don't feel any grief, just relief. It is wonderful to have freedom, no debt, no custody battle drama, none of my kids will be a murder, conartist, drink driver, rapist. It is cruel to have kids so they will suffer and experience death, all for selfish needs of the parent.
Have you tried adopting? You at least have a husband. I have no husband and no kids at 38.
Cried like a baby a lot
British women like children? I thought all they did was science experiments and write mystery novels.
Imagine the grief felt by the hundreds of thousands of children who languish in the adoption and foster care system because people insist on making "their own" children, even when their bodies are totally unsuited to the task. I have zero sympathy for people who want children but refuse to adopt or foster. Get over your own ego, and you can have children much easier than via IVF.
Your comment is disgusting and you have zero right to dictate how another person chooses to live their lives.
@@Jmarie092 Every IVF baby means another child who won't be adopted or fostered. IVF should be banned ASAP, until there are no children waiting for adoptive/foster parents. IVF is 100% about serving your own ego and narcissism, which is the opposite of what having children should be about.
@@joshklaver47 Im a woman going through IVF and I personally do not wish to adopt. It's not up to all infertile people to adopt children. Are you going to adopt one of these children? If not then keep your useless opinion to yourself. People dealing with infertility dont need to hear your personal opinion on a topic you probably have no personal experience in.
@@Jmarie092 So basically, you don't care about the 400,000+ children in the adoption and foster care system who will be neglected and abused because you couldn't find it in you to love a child that isn't "yours." It's like I said before. IVF is all about feeding the selfish and narcissistic desire for biological children. I hope your IVF doesn't work(it fails more often than not), and I hope you can set your ego aside long enough to adopt or foster. As long as this is the way you view parenthood, you don't deserve to have children.
You can always adopt a child. I don't know what the big deal is. I think a lot of women grieve that they can't be pregnant, but you can always be a parent if you really want to be.
Shawnny Colin I swear half of it is keeping up with the Jones's. Like when your friend has a nice car/house you want to copy them. I never want children but I understand why people do. Why adoption isn't an option for people like the woman in this interview is a total mystery to me
having child is also about continuing your lineage and genetic existence. When you have other's kids, it is not complete!
Mira Uyghur That's not what being a parent is about. You either want to raise a child or you don't.
Did I say I dont want to raise a child??? LOL
I am doing it, did I tell you that I can't carry a baby?? Why are you assuming things like crazy?? haha funny......keep guessing haha! hilarious
Just adopt
Have you?
Why you trying bring a child into this f…ked up world. There’s millions of children who out there who need parents. Your very selfish.
@@showoffw7370 why did you even come to this page. Guessing you had kids the easy way. You prob have no idea what it is like to be childless or understand how difficult and expensive it is to just adopt as you said.
@@showoffw7370 Completely and utterly out of touch. Going through infertility is one of the most traumatic things, and your comment clearly shows a lack of empathy.
Adoption is equally if not more difficult and emotionally draining😔
She could have adopted
Wait until it is you or your fam member and tell them that. Insensitive😑
Adopting isn't as easy as you seem to believe it is. It might even be harder than IVF or treatments. That is unless, the person is famous with millions of dollars. Then they can adopt 20 kids.
Have you?
So insensitive. You must have adopted many children then given you think its such a good idea?
Adoption is extremely difficult and more draining emotionally😔