Childfree In My 30s - this is what they don’t tell you!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
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I’m childfree, I’m in my 30s, these are some of the unexpected things they don’t tell you about choosing this lifestyle.
I talk about:
- why i’m childfree
- what my life looks like without children
- not deciding someone else's life
- my observer article
- holidays without children
- christmas without children
- focusing on projects
- why i feel younger
- less responsibilities
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Thanks for watching everyone.
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The best people don't have children
My parents had obsessive adoration love for their kids
Blessings and love from Chile. It is so important that we can see that we are creating beings. That is the essence of human beings. If we turn that creativity on any area that inspire us, we will have a full filled life.
Sharing about being a happy free child couple is a major thing right know. It is needed. First of all, without a question we live in an overpopulated planet. It is just sad that we “think” that we need to be parents to validate ourselves. Second, it is such a challenging job to have kids. As you share in the video, it needs a constant self reflection, self relaxation, self improvement, self flexibility. If you decide to have children it is going to be the most important thing that you will do, because the future of the planet will be model by who you are raising. Nothing little in that.
Another thing is that your rhythm and habits in life will change. Drastically! You will not sleep when you want, you will make new habits to fit more people in your daily routine, you will certainly spend much more money that we are able to imagine 😅, and you will be changing plans and gears unexpectedly more time that you believe you can.
Love is Infinite, so it cannot be measured or compared. The Love for your partner and the love for your child are the same. It comes from the same source, and that source is Infinite ❤.As creative beings we must serve humanity in whatever way suit as best.
By the way I am a mother of 2, that put my creativity in raising this amazing beings, learning and experiencing the yogic way to raise children. The way in which their spirits are radiant is beyond my comprehension. My passion is creating trainings for sharing how to be parents and thrive doing so while nurturing this beautiful souls that come to share life with us.
And even when is the passion of my life, my first advice is that everyone should try to understand with the core of their being what is to be a parent and how deeply your life will change in unimaginable ways. Many people that talks to us are afterwards convince that they really prefer not to have kids 😊
Even when is the thing that move my heart to work with families, I am happy to hear when someone decide to be a happy free child person, because it is a win win for everyone.
Most challenging thing of being a parent is that you need to do so much selfcare and you really don’t find the time.
Hope this is helpful to continuing this thread of creativity about this important matter. Love from a happy mother of two to a happy free child Jenny 🎉
Thank you. 😁@@kathrynjohansen4452
@@kathrynjohansen4452 I was just going to say that.
For me, personally, the most difficult part of not having kids is maintaining friendships with people with kids. They are just constantly talking about them or not listening to me because they are thinking about them. I am just naturally surrounding myself with child-free people, but I am sad about those friendships that I lost..
I hear you, even though I am a mother but I get irritated when women constantly talk about their kids, like come on your whole identity is in motherhood. Hello
Their children will grow older and independent in a while and you'll get back together :P ! (if you're still compatible, that is...)
Sounds as if the children gave your friends a purpose in life... something of importance
Friends come and go. Learn to grief and make new connections. That's the _easy_ part, the hard part is when you realize your physiological and psychological side *want* to have kids by exhibiting symptoms of depression but avoiding the problem with coping mechanism ( eat, sex, drug, dopamine from social media, who's know, etc). It's too simple to think: "ah, i like my freedom, and money to spend on whatever i want" but forgo the higher level of training for life. We see more body count, more abortion, more mental health and drug abuses nowadays. Dr. Sara Hill talk about the consequence of using contraceptive bill on women's body and mental state in a interview with Dr. Jordan Peterson, check it out if anyone want to learn more.
@@thedisintegradorand not everyone finds purpose in kids
The best thing for me about not having children is the freedom to be ill and heal. I got huge respect for all these parents in the world who have headaches, influenza… and still care for someone else
I hear you. I remember my mom being ill and getting her tea and making her cinnamon toast.
My great aunt in law is 75, never married, no children. She says it just didn't happen and she has no regrets at all. I love her attitude and optimism.
Exactly ! No need to push it on women, if it doesn't happen, it is not meant to happen and that's it !
You are me, I am you. I get this. Children are easy to romanticize! Christmas, birthdays, family dinners when the kids have grown up... sounds lovely! But it's a small piece of the puzzle. I know the day to day isn't for me.
My husband and I love your videos, Kassandra! 😍
This is how I’ve been feeling but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I enjoy being around family kids at celebrations but I am always happy I don’t need to do it every day. Mid 30s male here.
You just don't know what you are saying
Yes!! It’s the day to day stuff that completely puts me off.
children are pain the a$$ hole. They cry and scream every fucking day for YEARS and then even when they grow up, it doesn't end, they will become even more annoying af.
I'm 36 with no kids. The only drawback to me is that it seems hard to find a partner that also doesnt want kids. Other than that I'm very happy with my choice.
Being childfree and single is definitely a different game than being childfree and happily married. I hope we both find that right person.
I'm at the same age and no kids as well. I have also found that men I date or speak to will always try to convince me other wise. Ok, you're not carrying or birthing the child, you have no say. Thanks, bye.
I would think that many men at this age or a bit older already have kids from previous relationships and some would be ok with not having more. Not the case?
@@Evija3000 in my area there arent many of those, I live in a little Norwegian fjord so the dating market is pretty small.
@@toneluy8343Ah, makes sense.
I have never had maternal instinct but I did get pregnant and decided to give birth when I was 30. I love my son, I'd give my life to save his, but if I could turn back time I'd never ever do it again. My motherhood has been extremely lonely and traumatic because of my own unprocessed childhood traumas which motherhood very quickly exposed. I feel like I've been stuck/paralyzed/unable to take care of myself/completely not myself (if I met myself I wouldn't recognize me) and in a chronic depression for the past 17 years. My son was born with heart defect so all my attention and fears (!) focused on him. I stopped existing, my needs, my dreams, all gone. At 48 years old and him turning 18 next year I don't know who I am any more. I used to love life, I was always planning things, not any more. I suppose I'm also unemployable at this point so I feel like my life has ended. It takes so much effort for me to convince myself that I still have a chance to make things work when he graduates high school and starts university but it's like learning everything from scratch or waking up from a 17 year coma. I guess I'm just trying to warn women who feel like outcasts because they lack maternal instinct but decide, usually under pressure, to take this route. You will most likely regret it.
Take it slow! You’ll find the things you love and yourself. But it’s going to take it you still have a fulfilling life to live. Start small & work from there
It's NEVER too late, sweetheart.
@@irenecurtolokuhne829 ❤
@@Aniexo_ ❤
So sad to read your story :(
I think my mom went through something like that, she had depresion and anxiety, she went into therapy for nearly 10 years. Now she is another woman, she discovered that she loves painting and gardening and enjoys watching HBO and Netflix, also she likes traveling with her peers, she is happy now ( she's 70)
I have two kids and genuinely enjoy them. I think there's nothing better than a trip to the zoo or playground with them. The saddest thing in the world are the parents who aren't enjoying their kids and are just counting down the days for them to grow up and leave the house. People should be opting in to having children, it shouldn't be any sort of a default. Every baby/child/teenager should be wanted and loved.
How do you tell if you want children? I don't know if I want to be a mom... It's the hardest question for me. How do I know if the picture of me beiing a mom is what I want or what society told me to want?
@@t.a.yeah. One way to find out is to babysit your friend's kids and spend some time with them then you will either feel that motherhood is for you or you won't.
@@t.a.yeah.Hi, I can't resonate to things what @vkrgfan had written. I personally didn't like oder children, only from nearest family but also I didn't play with them often. And now, since 3 weeks I'm a mother and from the first second I saw my baby, I think she was perfect and I can't imagine life without her.
I have also worried through whole pregnancy: what will happen if I don't like my baby or what will happen if my mother instinct don't activate, isn't to late for a baby etc. But our human body are amazing and everything switched on by itself.
haha you perfectly expressed in words how my Mum felt. She was just counting down the days. Stuff that lifestyle !
I have not enjoyed being a mother for the first three years, but I absolutely love it now when my child is older. It is not black and white. Being a parent is an interesting life experience which would be a huge pity to miss out on. I feel that I understand now other people a lot better than I did before having a child
I don’t see why it’s such an issue when women choose not to have kids. I did and have four gorgeous kids, and very happy with my choice. Happy for anyone else and their choice.
This is what women’s freedoms are about ~ we make our own choices.
Go Girls 🎉❤
Interesting no one has a problem with child free men, only with women as always.... But having children is physically so much easier if you're man then woman because man doesn't need to go through the pains of pregnancy & birth...
I think people are put-off by child-free women because it is biologically perverse for a woman not to want to become a mother and a man not to want to contribute to the next generation. It’s just not right! Children are what make life worth living…the joy and hope of the next generation!
Happy parents don't question childfree people. The unhappy parents do. They are jealous and misery seeks company. They wish we would suffer the same way they do
@@TheFabFarmer It’s much better that people are being “perverse” and understand their own limitations, than of them bringing a child or children into this world who are not wanted.
There’s millions upon millions of children around the world being neglected, abandoned, abused and killed. Children who are no attended to, cared for, cherished and loved by their parents. It’s heartbreaking. Every child deserves devoted parents, who love them unconditionally and are willing to care for them and provide them the very best conditions to be raised in.
Funny how you people who bash childree by choice people don’t ever talk about the awful conditions so many children are born into. You guys only seem to be caring about children when they’re in the womb. Once they’re out, they don’t matter. I never see these lecturers bringing up these factors I mentioned when discussing this topic. You guys love to have a moral superiority over others, and judge them for their decisions but could care less about whether children are actually being cared for properly.
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I am 46, and so grateful I don't have children. 100%, noooooo regrets. ❤️
I’m 46 and child free as well. Loving it still! ❤
amazing, so happy for you!! x
Same here 😁
Most of my friends are on a second divorce with kids... I one hundred percent understand things don't work out, and noooooo judgment.
I am just grateful my divorce didn't involve children as someone who is the collateral damage to a marriage that really didn't work.
Same here 😊
I am 43 and a very happy childfree woman. I had a longlasting relationship for 20 years and in 2020 he broke up with me to be with another woman. I am so glad, that i never had any children with him. I am living my best life without him and any other men and without any children. I got a new job, i bought my own house together with my sister, she is also childfree, and we love together in it with our 7 dogs. Its THE BEST! I am a very introvert person. I love my alone time (reading, doing yoga, playing computer games, watching tv series or youtube), i love being on my own, eating what i want when i want to and only have to care for my dogs and our garden.
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Aw living with your sister sounds lovely 😊
Farming has way more value! And we need water defenders
Women are keys to climate change. Reduce repurpose and reformation to all lives on this here Earth🎉
😊q
Growing up my biggest fear was getting pregnant, going through childbirth and raising a kid. I'm 30 now and it still feels so terrifying and alien to me. I didn't like children when I was a child, and I don't like them now. And kids don't like me, it's like they can tell. Animals however, I love them all, and they tend to love me, even random wild animals I can easily form a connection with. As much as I can easily connect with adults, small humans are just not my thing. I'll be the weird aunt who teaches them all the shit their parents won't when they're in their teens.
Relate 100%
Same.
SSRIs?
I had a tubal ligation at 22. That seems very young for such a major decision, but I knew myself. I'm 70 and have no regrets. People have said all sorts of things about me not having children. Some them were quite rude.
Very strange considering there can be so mucj sadness when a child grows up and faces pain in school playing outside etc. Then when they grow up and rebel or turn out to have delays or disruptions in their development (rude unhelpful unreasonable teens) it's another cause of pain. But these people never talked or listened to their kids perhaps so they never knew all the pain the kids faced and thought all was well. It's hard in many ways and when you talk and know you will understand and not be ignorant towards the childfree. I am so sorry you experienced that.
Thank you for blazing a trail for us younger child free ladies ❤
That’s nice . So many doctors denied me a tubal
@heyitsKris82 hopefully your kid understands you. If you talk to eachother that can help. And they'll have better options for themselves. Not a lot of parents or people can admit their mistakes so that sets you apart already in a positive way. And it's not a that glitters that's gold. The so called healthy normal people be having narcissistic traits not respecting and being abusive to their kids and then full on denying everything cause they have some need to win. So be aware of that as well
@@weekendnomad5038😥
I’m 48 and CF. I feel like a dodged a nuclear warhead! I do enjoy kids (in small doses) but I never wanted to be a mother. I’m also an artist and gardener so I feel like I have a legacy and that I’m a creator.
I look and feel ten years younger. I have freedom and agency over my life. I get to sleep, cook whatever whenever, only clean up after myself, and have a social life.
It’s really awesome! We’ve been lied to all this time!!!! Being a spinster cat lady is delicious!
Only people who truly want, and can provide for, children should have them. They should be the ones who have to justify that, as kids deserve a loving stable environment. ❤
Excellent my dear user
Feels. I don't have it in me to go any more burials. I don't want that call bout a skool pop off. Men make the world violent. Can't assure kids safety. Helpless hopeless and feel homeless spiritually ina world that hates colored ppl. Can't undo nor fix inequality
Just turned 40. Still happily childfree. I see how much time, energy, worry and stress goes into being a mom from watching my friends and sister and I don't think I could handle it on top of all my existing anxieties. I love being an Auntie though.
There is still so much judgement and societal pressure around being child free. I don’t think I could cope with the lifelong anxiety of worrying for another human in such an intense way. Thank you for putting this message out in such a positive way. 💜
I’m a big supporter of women choosing to be childfree - though ironically I am watching this while nursing my one month old baby. Pregnancy and parenthood are such immense, irreversible life events; I believe no one should do it unless they desperately want to (I did!).
Some points from my experience so far that I’ll add to the discourse:
I don’t feel like the core of my identity has changed, though my roles and responsibilities certainly have. I may be sleep deprived, but I’m still as into my passions, hobbies and creative work as ever. I’m focused on caring for my child’s needs, while devising ideas for projects I hope to undertake when things are more settled and making a list of restaurants for future date nights sans-baby with my husband (thanks grandma!).
Secondly, I feel like having children can also keep you young in some ways. I may not be painting the town red, but my evenings are filled with more play and silly songs than I can ever remember. People who truly have a youthful spirit will be able to find their fun, with or without children.
@@shanierez8017 Haha no thanks
as many compromises as you have to make, they certainly bring things into perspective, in a really wonderful amd selfless way. i imagine it has the same kind of rewards as being a care worker, but a lot more cheerful! (my bub is 1.5 and ive gone through the whole gamut of emotions on the topic)
Seeing the world through my kids eyes has made me more youthful than I have ever felt. I am a lot more creative and more willing to take risks.
I’m 42 and my son is 18 😊 when his friends see us together they often ask him to introduce his girlfriend (i.e.me 😝) to them and when they find out that I’m his mom they are usually shocked. And it happens in different countries 🙂 We lived in Ukraine and now we live in the UK - the situation is the same so far 😅😊 Also the moment your child goes to school you begin to have more and more time for yourself and your relationships with the husband. We thought about the second child but we became so selfish and ambitious 🙄 so now it’s hard to persuade ourselves to sacrifice our time one more time 🤪 However I couldn’t allow myself be child free - I would be unhappy definitely. But I respect conscious choice of others not to have children.
Painting the town red-what a Wonderfull saying. Never heard it! Now it will be part of my childfree AND not very party like life....:) Love to everyone!
Having a child?!?! In this economy?!?!
This is such a lovely message and I would like to see the idea of choice being universally embraced. I would never dream of questioning someone who chooses parenthood but I am often questioned about remaining childless - I like the idea of women supporting each other in the choices we make. Thank you for a lovely video
YESS
As a woman who's childfree by choice, I actually have asked people why they want children. It started admittedly as a bit of passive-aggressive pushback on the questions I constantly had to field, but then evolved into an open, genuine curiosity. What's fascinating is how many are unable to land on a definitive response - for some, it's just the default option which they haven't deeply questioned. Mind you, there's no 'right' or 'wrong' answer - "I just always wanted a mini-me" or "My ovaries ache when I see babies" or "I'd just love to feel that kind of love" are all valid responses, in my book! But I'm surprised how many people don't even get there. The notion of parenthood as a choice is still foreign to many. Thanks for the great video and I'll check out your article next! 😊
How many times I heard “ well you can adopt ? “ speechless ..
My dad's cousin, now 90, did not marry or have children. She devoted her life to being a midwife and is finishing out her life in the house where she was born. She has had a full life.
I had four boys, the youngest died at 19, the eldest has a brain injury from a car crash. I devoted my life to them at the expense of any career of my own, and here I am at 60 on my own. I gave them a far better bringing up than my parents did me, so there is that.
For people who don't have children there are so many children in the world who are in need of guidance as their parents can't be bothered, there is much that child free folks can give back.
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Hmm...a giant part of the Child Free experience appears to be "enjoying their own life". In my opinion, that's CERTAINLY a worthy goal. Why would they add some jerk's abandoned kids to their polished experience? Also, my compliments to you on providing your kids with excellent parenting.
If people are gonna come for child-free women then they better come for "eligible bachelors" as well. A child-free lifestyle was never an issue until women did it too. The double standard is real.
Recently 40 and super happy with my partner and no children. I love the freedom it allows us to experience life, to travel, to grow as humans. I’m also super grateful to have nieces and excited to do Christmas with them for the nostalgia and tradition you mentioned. But I honestly think the decision not to have kids was the best one for me. One tough moment for me though was when I told a very good friend that I didn’t want to have kids and she told me “I don’t think you should give up yet,” which really hurt. I didn’t feel seen in that moment at all.
My wife and I made the call to not have kids over a decade ago and have no regrets.
On my lunch break one Friday in May, I text my wife to pack an overnight bag and our passports. I picked her up outside Dublin after work and by 9pm we were in Paris. I booked the flights and hotel 5 minutes before texting.
We're currently floating the idea of moving to Berlin.
Try doing that with kids.
I'm tired and sad about beeing attacked if I dare say I don't want to be a mother. I don't hate children and never will be hating children. I just don't want the day to day. Thank you for voicing this! My husband and I are so happy to be together and none of us wishes to be parents (we both were very open about this when meeting eachother, that's so important!).
I'm 35 and childfree by choice. I have a dog who I love very much and truly enjoy caring for, but this choice really solidified my decision to remain child free because caring for other creatures is time consuming, expensive, and can be difficult. Luckily all I had to worry abt is training my dog to be an excellent dog and get along with other people and animals. A child is much harder haha.
I’m 29, child free, and LOVE my life. My partner (32) and I were playing a couple’s question game last week, and one question was what do you love most about your life? He answered: the freedom that I have. My jaw dropped and I screamed, THAT’S MY ANSWER! I’m so happy that we’re on the same page to not have children. Our lives are so peaceful. I do not have the capacity to have a little human come in and change my way of life, my body, my finances, or anything else that will never be the same after becoming a mother.
I am 34. Happily married. Child-free. I have always been open-minded as to having kids of my own or none at all. I recently found out that I and my husband may not be able to have kids of our own. And I told a friend that I’m okay with it. I love babies, and as a couple we would be happy to have just one, but why would we push it too hard. Besides it is out of our control. The response from one of my friends was unexpected. I was told that "one of the main purpose of marriage is multiplication". So what about those who just can’t have one? 😅
Oh well… I guess my husband and I are destined for a different kind of multiplication. 😊
I'm so sorry that you had to endure this comment, wow, people can be so insensitive 😢 I love your attitude, thank you for sharing your story. I hate when people equate marriage and family to having children. But those comments say more about them and their notion of life purpose. May you and your partner live the happy life that you want 😊
Similar position here. We were told we would need IVF to have kids and I was not down for that at all. We feel quite happy without kids and we've lived this way for over 10 years. We're happy if it did happen, but it's not looking likely. There's always adoption but I don't think we are 100% on that either. I know we'd be great at parenthood but we're also happy just being the two of us, having money, and going on vacations.
I don’t think anyone should be a parent unless they have actively thought out the possibility of having a disabled child. If you feel uncomfortable as an adult around other adults with disabilities, you are not prepared for parenting. And if your next thought is “I’d rather not then”, then it’s ok to own it. Just now you know your next step in personal growth.
Loved your book and so grateful for your voice on this. I too have chosen not to have children and at 52, I have zero regrets. Thank you for raising awareness for other women who may feel like something is wrong with them for not wanting children. Something is wrong with all the parents out there who don’t take the responsibility seriously. Enjoy your chosen lifestyle. ❤
As someone who (happily) has two kids, I think your take is very accurate :) All of the drawbacks of having kids that you mention are definitely real, for me personally it still feels worth it and I adore my kids, but I also understand the appeal of not having children. I think for those who feel a deep longing to be parents, having kids is worth it, and for those who are sure they don't want them, it's not. I don't know what I would tell someone who is on the fence about it. I feel like once you have a child, you won't say you shouldn't have had them because it's like saying you wish this person that you love very much was never born. But are you truly happier than you would have been childfree? Not necessarily. Anyways Jenny, this is an important conversation and I'm glad you're talking about it. Also, Okay Days was awesome! Book of the year for me for sure (not that I have read that many since I hardly have any time to read because of my children :)))
This!❤
It's so true, someone in their mid20s asked me what I thought about having kids and they were trying to decide and the first thing I said is "The big thing is you can never go back once you have them." Almost every choice in our life is reversible but children is not one of them. I think the ghost ship problem is very real, you're always wondering what the parallel you would be doing and it's a paradox, you'll never have the answer.
I am divorced, 54, and childfree! I do not regret it a bit! Good for you!
Jenny, I didn't know you had an article out! I'll dash to read it right after finishing this comment. The thing with age you mention occurred to me just recently. People tend to think I'm 15 years younger and it happened to me many times that they were shocked when they knew my real age. I don't think it has anything to do with maturity or responsibility. As an oldest child of unreliable egocentric parents I was helping with the household chores and I was responsible for my siblings to a certain degree. I just think the actual pregnancy and labor exhausts the body and adds to the aging process. This time you didn't mention the thing that many people say about us childfree people: that we're selfish. Well, I was unfortunate to have a narcissist father and an immature egocentric mother. None of them were selfless or loving. Having children was their choice but both of them made the choice based on wrong reasons. He wanted offspring to brag with. She wanted dolls to play with. Based on what I saw around me during my life I don't believe parent love comes automatically. Neither does the responsibility. To conclude this rant, I'm happily child free woman and I'm grateful for my life.
YES! i am often called selfish for not wanting kids.. the funny thing is, when you ask why people choose to have kids, they often reply "because I want to", "I dont wanna be alone when im old", "whos gonna take care of me when i get old?" etc. and many similar responses... the reason is very, very often about themselves, not the actual kids, which to me is selfish, so choosing not to get kids should logically be the opposite, not selfish :) I am childfree by choice too :)
I find the age thing interesting as well. I usually get guessed for younger than my age too, and so does my best friend who is also child free. Thats another perk
I love this video. Thank you.
I am a 51 year old child-free woman who has absolutely zero regrets for not having children. I never had any want to be a mother at any time in my life. If ever there was a choice between holding a baby or holding a puppy, Puppy would win hands down! And yes I do have a furbaby. My four year old dog brings me all the joy I could ever want ! 🐶
Oh and on a sidenote, I also eat the same thing day in and day out and I love it!! And the ironic thing is, I am a professionally trained chef!!
I have 4 pups. They make me happy. I love them as my babies. I never wanted kids... never imagined being a mom at all. My friends with kids are miserable. I feel free and at peace.
Thanks for talking about this Jenny. It's a very important topic. In my case, I'm not sure how to catalogue myself. I don't have children but my circumstances are not so straight forward. I'm neither a child free person that knew her entire life that didn't want to be a mom, nor a person that dreamed to have a child since I was a child myself. To be honest, I never thought about having children or being a mom. Neither like "yes, I want to" nor "no, I don't want to". I just didn't think about it at all. Then, at the end of my thirties, I met my husband and after a couple of years being together we decided to try to become parents. We tried for a couple of years, IVF treatments included, and nothing happened. Finally, after one ectopic pregnancy we decided to stop trying and I've been a 100% sure and happy with our decision. I love the life we have, both individually and together. I'm really happy and I don't feel bad at all about not having children. In fact, sometimes I feel grateful that it didn't happen because there are so many things that I'm doing/looking forward to do that would be really difficult or impossible to do with children. And to be honest, if we had really wanted to have a child, there were things we could have done (adoption, egg donation, etc.). We have chosen not to do that. However, I find myself struggling a little bit with the fact that I don't feel I fit. I haven't been able to find representation for my circumstances. Most people either have children or decided not to have them. Or were not able to have them and feel bad about it or sad. I don't belong to any of those groups and sometimes it feels lonely not being able to find someone that understand my circumstances. Anyway, listening to you, although our situations are different, helps a little bit. Sorry for the long comment but maybe there is someone else reading that is in the same spot I am and this might help them.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am 30 yrs and have felt the same about kids as you. Never particulary wanted kids but also did not despise the idea. Lots of my female friends say that they knew they wanted to be a mother ever since they were young. They are now stressing over finding a partner and getting kids before its too late. I choose to not engage in that stress. I try to just see whatever happens and will be content with that outcome. I can see a life ahead of me without kids that would be fulfilling and happy. But also having a kid could be nice as well, if its with the right person. Also; studys say that people without kids end up to be happier that people with kids. Soooo... ;)
@@lzlzlz347 Thank you, really, for sharing this. I can totally relate to what you said. I felt exactly the same when I was 30. I'm 42 now and, although the time when I tried to conceive was really stressful and horrible, I feel really happy and at peace now, so you are right. Whatever happens with you, you will be ok 🙂. Thank you again. It feels really really nice to find someone I can relate to 💜.
❤❤❤❤❤
I'm 40 with no kids. I'm really happy and feel fulfilled with my life without them, but at 39, I had a moment of 'Am I making the right choice?' When the opportunity starts to fade and your decision becomes permanent, it's scary :) After a lot of consideration and talking with my husband, I'm again certain of this choice.
I'm 38 and so happy with my choice of being childfree : it brings so much freedom and spontaneity to my life. Your thougths are totally making sense to me, especially the food-prep one 😅 Thank you for this video 🙏
Thanks for sharing!!
I once wrote an article on my (French) blog that loosely translated was called: "I'm a mom therefore you should be one too" - an ironic title of course about drawing conclusions from your own life choices and projecting them on other people. I never understand this. In the same way I don't understand people arguing whether a room is painted a nice color or not. It's all in the eye of the beholder. To me having kids was my biggest dream in life. For some of my friends, it would have been a nightmare. We understand each other perfectly. ❣
I am 35 and childfree by choice as well. Like you I already knew I did not want to be a mom when I was a child, and this never changed, regardless of other women telling me it would. And it should be okay like that. My life is fun and my work is fulfilling. I do not think I'd be a good parent, not everyone is suitable to have children either. I believe not every man or woman was meant to procreate, I think. If we all did, the earth will soon be crawling with hungry humans and too little food, too much waste, too little drinkable water, more war, etc.. We should all be more accepting that not everyone is the same. People can have 10 kids by choice or have none by choice. Live and let live. ☮
My mum was a regretful parent. She struggled with post-partum and we could never bond. My parents eventually moved overseas anyway so I was forced to focus on a career and find a way of survival. To say I exhausted myself is an understatement. I am finally at a point at the age of 31 of complete peace and the thought of having a child is something I cannot fathom for myself. I finally have a rythym with good friends and a stable life. It is all I will ever need ✨️❤️
As someone with kids on the cusp of adulthood, it's like my career/life are just about to start again and part of me has just been in hibernation. I'll never know what might have been over those years and I hope there are enough left to pursue my own dreams again.
there will be, i’m sure! best of luck 💖
you can pursue a lot while having kids but of course not to the same extent. Best of luck to you!
My hubby and I (40 & 38), love our child free life. I was never a kid person anyway, so never really wanted any. We get to pursue our creative goals, travel the country, do what we want when we want, exercise, save money (barely. Another reason kids would be out of the question), & wake up at noon and learn to play the sitar 😂 It’s annoying when people talk about a “love” you’ll never know. Very presumptuous & self centered. I always just think “Before reproducing, you never knew deep, real love with anyone or for anything, or in any moment (like meditating)? How sad.” It’s all just a neurochemical trick anyway. You’re literally addicted to your offspring with massive dumps of oxytocin & dopamine, somewhat similar to the honeymoon phase of a relationship, or certain drugs 🤷♀️
Say it louder for everyone to hear 🗣️ 💯
THIS
fuckkk that you can deeply love in so many ways! including love yourself! much love Elayne!
My husband and I are child-free and married for 28 years. We love it and neither of us regret it at all. One of the things that gets on my nerves is that of course we have more money than some of our friends with kids because kids cost money. The snarky remarks we get when we travel or when we buy a vacation home ("it must be nice to be able to buy...). Hey people, don't comment on how we spend our money and I won't comment on how you raise your children.
I’m 38 and I have two young kids and I enjoy them every single day so much it’s hard to put in words! I became a mom at age 35 so I did experience my 30s without children and those years I travelled the world with my husband, went on girl trips with my friends, went to music festivals and so much more. But I have to say as much as it’s hard sometimes to balance life when you have kids I enjoy doing stuff with my kids a million times more! I’ve experienced love the way I never knew possible before having them! I am a career woman and my career is very important to me but nothing gives me purpose as much as my kids do! If you understand and accept that your lifestyle has changed after becoming a parent and learn to enjoy your new lifestyle rather than hanging onto your old child-free lifestyle, then you realize how amazing having children can be. I would choose a chaotic but full of love and laughter home every single day! Being a mom is my most precious role in life!
Jenny, next video could be all the weekly Mustards' recipes. Every time there is a meal b-roll in your videos, I pause and try to figure out, what ingredients might be in them. Please share them, this could be a seasonal series, like the hauls and anti-hauls :)
This one was again very important about the choice of being childfree. I've never felt the calling. Taking care of myself and the loved ones around me are more than enough. Being a parent is a huge responsibility and I would be anxious all the time, what I could do wrongly or if I repeat the pattern of my toxic parents.
Thanks Jenny Mustard! I'm childfree by choice in my 40s, it's the best 🤩
I am a mother of 3 grown up kids and love it every single day. But I also respect every single woman who chooses not to have a child or can not have a child. It's their body, their life style, their decision. Woman is a woman with or without a child. They all deserve attention, respect, support, and love.
I'm a mother to 3 healthy children. I started off young, and I had my first at 17 years old. I'm 31 now, and I remember when I was 17, I wanted to settle down. I felt the pressure of going to college, working, and partying. Blah blah blah, but all I wanted to do at that very moment, that season was to be a mom. I did not have the right person by my side, so it was not realistic to do so. Now I have the right person by my side, and I'm enjoying every bit of motherhood. I enjoy the park days, the early mornings, children's books, playdates, pancake days, and snuggles. I can't imagine a life of childfree because I was so young when I had my first. I don't regret it, though, because I get to see a part of me in my 13 year old. ❤❤❤❤
You were strong yo block societal pressures to go to college and party. I had my first one at 31, and when I tried for a second one, Mother nature said it was too late!
Thank you for your honesty! The last point is so honest and real!!!! There are other type of love that are very strong and real!
agree!!! 💖
I think it's so great that you are talking about this subject 👍 my husband and me are child free and most people either assume I already have children or tell me I should 🙈 it's important to normalise women choosing to not have children and also making it less difficult for women that can't have children but still get the same things said to them 😢
As a childfree woman in my 30s... Going back to my husbands home province for xmas (where we have 6 nieces and nephews who I like a lot) is stressful. It's so loud and I feel like I can never relax. I would much prefer to be at home with my dog and a hot cup of coffee and a warm blanket.
Best part of not having children for me is that I can travel at will, go and come at will, and use my money for myself and my interests!❤❤
I don't have any kids and I absolutely love it. No regrets.
I'm 37 and child free. I always knew I wasn't interested in being a mum from a young age. I find the interaction with small children tedious and mentally draining. It just doesn't appeal to me at all. It all just seems quite overwhelming and stressful to me.
I actually feel sorry for people who say that you never know true love until you have a child, because it means they never had true love with their partner.
As someone who became a mother very late and had great love in her life in many ways, I will say that they probably mean something else. Love for a child is shocking in its purity, directness and fierceness, it feels entirely different to anything else. It's no coincidence that nearly all parents confirm that. Saying it's the only true love is silly though. It's just different from other loves, just like my love for my partner is nothing like my love for my parents.
I’ve wanted children my whole life, I’m only 17, but it’s all I would talk about throughout elementary and middle school. I had countless baby dolls, it was my only big dream, I didn’t care about much else. I found out that I won’t be able to have kids recently, videos like these help me accept it.
You are right about everything. I am a parent of two and gave up so much. I think society pushes parenthood for its own good but not for the good of the individual person
Love the message in this video. I resonated with so many of the reasons why being child free is my choice. I’ve known this feeling since I was a teenager and it hasn’t wavered and I’m nearly 40.
The only thing I’ve noticed that makes me a bit uncomfortable is when co workers or friends, who have children, ask me what my husband and I did over the weekend. It’s either a lazy day where we enjoy a late brunch or just do what ever we want. They lament about how they wish they had those days or wish they could do what we do. I never know how to respond to those comments. I kind of want to say, yeah it’s great having time to do what I want, when I want, but that sounds a bit brash.
What I didn't expect with my childfree life was the *hostility* from my family. They watched me avoid kids my age growing up, look disgusted when asked to babysit, and avoid anything remotely child oriented but somehow it wasn't until I turned 35 that they realised that maybe I wasn't going to change my mind. I love that you're opening this discourse, I feel that childfree voices often get drowned out by childless people.
I was adamant all my life that i never wanted kids but at 38 i got pregnant with twins. It definitely took some time to get used to having life turned upside down, by not just one but two babies at once, but motherhood is a journey that im actually really happy im getting to experience. Seeing these little people grow and learn in front of your eyes really is an incredible experience. In terms of love, its a completely reciprocated love that is like no other and even now as a mum i still find it hard to put into words that make sense. Looking after them certainly takes up a considerable amount of my time but i still feel like me. I still enjoy the same things and do the same things just maybe in a slightly different way and thats ok because its more a season of life rather than this is how it will be forever. As soon as they're born they're learning to be independent and one day they wont need me like they do now. So I try my best to embrace it an enjoy the moment for this moment will be gone all too soon.
Thank you for discussing this subject! I wish there was more dialogue about this when I was younger. Happily child free at 35 :) I love my life, husband, friends and all my hobbies and interest I get to explore.
Taking a moment to appreciate both Jenny’s video, and the lovely support and respect seen in Mustardia ;) glad this community is so kind and open minded ❤❤
Being childfree I'm so happy that I never have to host a childrens bday party 😅 + I completely relate to worrying about the child. The guilt and worry would ruin me!
oh…! i think i would actually LOVE to host a children’s birthday party hah xx
As someone who struggles with some social anxiety, becoming a host for someone else causes so much anxiety! I feel calm and relaxed without that responsibility. 😊
That's so funny and an example of what is a dream for one person can be a nightmare for another. Organizing my kids birthday parties is one of the highlights of parenting.😆 I can totally imagine why it would be horrifying to people who don't want kids.
I have a lot of social anxiety when I host adults but not kids lol @@Lili-xq3og
This helped me a lot with figuring out if I REALLY wanted kids. I’ve been teetering around the idea for years, some days I’d think about it and like the idea. But after a bit I started thinking about the responsibilities and the MANY many ways that situation and life could go but honestly I’ve always resonated & identified and felt my most happiness with the idea of just being alone/being with my partner or at most being a dog/cat dad 😅
happy to hear this ☺️
love this... I hope anyone who decides to have or not to have kids is super happy. I think everyone should be free to decide what's best. Also, some people find themselves childless not through choice, but by accident, or because of fertility issues. I love the reflections you provide on this topic, because social discourse on this is generally not very inclusive/balanced, but your discussion is.
As a fellow child free person. Thank you for sharing your unique story.
I'm 47 - never wanted children. My mind has not changed. I don't have children. I knew I wasn't a mother and I'm glad I not. It was my choice and it was the right one for me. I knew that I was too selfish to be a parent and I was right. Not in a bad way, but in my own way, I know that my life is too short and I don't know about myself and I won't before I'm ready to take on the task of being a parent. That is a huge responsibility that I am not able to take on.
Thank you for your perspective. I am 24 but I know I want to be a mother . I want my identity to morph overtime . I want to use all I’ve learnt to pour into to my future babies . I believe mothering is part of the superpower of being a woman . It’s okay for us to have different perspectives & not judge one another ❤
What a gracious way to hold the conversation, Jenny. I am a mother of 6. So, kinda the polar opposite to your lived experience hahaha 😂 What I see when I watch you is a woman who has a very soft and loving heart with much love to give and David is a very lucky man to have you as a partner, as I think you feel in regards to him likewise. To find someone in this life to love like that is such a gift and one not every person gets to have. I think that is the most important thing: to love and be loved. You knew from a young age you did not want to have children, I knew from a young age that that is all I really wanted for myself: to be a mother. And I always wanted a big family. Yes, everything you touched upon comes into play, but they are all things I wanted and embraced. No ones life is picture perfect. We all have to make sacrifices and compromises and accommodate the needs of the people we love. You and David have to do that for one another, I have to do that for my children. It doesn’t take anything away from my life because it is what I want. I have plenty of time to read (I’m an avid bookworm) or to binge shows or to pursue my interests. But after listening to how you described parenthood, I think my husband and I are perhaps more unusual. We are both very carefree spirits (both the babies of our families by quite a lot of years) and very spontaneous. We didn’t stop being those things when we had kids. We just lugged around a few more bodies on our adventures lol. I dunno, you just seem like such a sweet and loving person, Jenny. I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and I appreciate how much this video made me think. So, thank you for that. I felt like a lot of the specifics you touched on were more about your personality and the unusual life you and David have built for yourselves. Having children wouldn’t change that THAT much because your personality is what it is and I think you’d just find your own unique way to parent. I think you made the decision to not have children and you have committed your life to that path and that is really all there is to it. The reasons are all kind of extraneous. The decision and the reason for the decision came from somewhere deeper inside and you have chosen to honour that. Your life built up around that and now looks the way it looks, but you would have still been Jenny Mustard WITH kids …. Does that make sense? I guess I’m saying you’re a strong person who is very in touch with yourself and you just knew and had the strength to honour that. A lot of people kinda drift and make decisions via default. So, for me this conversation has sounded more like a person who is sharing that aspect of themself even more than the detail of their life happening to be one that does not include children. Your life is intentional. That is what makes it noteworthy and what resonates with others. So while it is not anything at all like what my life looks like, this conversation resonated with me and gave me good food for thought for my life as well.
Extended family my age that have children LOOK older than me. Having children has aged them considerably
When I was little I often wondered: how many children would be around if both parents could go back in time to choose once more to have them? I think a lot of people regret being parents. And then there's people that should have never been parents.
The benefits for child-free is so much that I have to find a video about reasons to have children?!
I have a dear friend who is married for few years and just recently discovered that her husband does not want to have children, ever. He was never hiding it, they just never had a serious conversation about it. Whenever he mentioned that he is not in a fond of having children, she waved it out, thinking that is not his final taught. But it turns out, it is. She approached it like: everyone has kids when they got married, he will also. But, recently, when he mentioned having vasectomy, she was shocked.
I am very sorry for her as she really wants to be a mom. But I also support his decision. Nobody should be forced into parenthood. And this topic is not well discussed and represented in general.
Note:
I am a mum by choice, and I would always make choice to have my baby. He is my source of joy.
Yes, the love you feel for your child is overwhelming. The emotion I have felt holding my newborns is unbelievable. The happiest moments of my life. Plus giving birth for me personally made me feel like an absolute godess! Such a powerful experience! The love for a spouse is terribly special, too, though, especially when you are best friends as well as lovers, as you and David are!❤❤
Ah, mom guilt! Yes, it's very real! Something that has helped me with that is seeing how happy the WHOLE family is when I am happy. And what makes me happy is having enough time to create. It's a difficult thing to keep balanced, for sure...but very worth it!
The idea of telling another person what their values, ideals or religion are is disgusting to me. I would never except that from anyone now as an adult. I respect everyone’s choices in life. The simple version is the “you do you” or “to each their own” concepts. I love and appreciate the freedom I have being childless.
I'm a 64yo Nonna to a 2yo granddaughter (and mother to two adult children). Yes, it was tough while they were babies and growing up but it doesn't last forever. I've had an empty nest for 15 years and pretty much had, and continue to have, all the time in the world to focus on myself, my career, my passions and my travels.
Age is just a number and I continue to think and behave in ways that are youthful, yet with the wisdom gained from life experience.
I adore spending time with my adult children and being Nonna is a lot of fun!
It’s so nice to see someone who talks about the positives of being child free without bashing children or people who choose to be parents. Sometimes it feels like there are people who want to create a fight between parents and child free people.
Ultimately I think having a child is the right thing for some people and not having a child is the right thing for other people. Neither life is intrinsically or objectively better or worse. Different personalities suit different lifestyles.
Like for example, in the video where she talks about how she gets to eat the way she wants and if she has a child then she would worry about getting their child’s diet perfect. For me, this has been one of the best things about having a child. Before I had a child I lived off of oven pizza and microwave meals. Once I got pregnant I so badly wanted to give my child the best nutrition that I learnt to cook for the first time in my life. Since then I’ve found so much joy in cooking properly good healthy meals and trying new recipes all the time. Many child free people are able to do all of that without a child being the catalyst to change. But not me, I needed to have a child to motivate me to learn and care about eating well.
As a parent who had this first child at an "advanced" age I found that I enjoyed my time nurturing them- such interesting little beings. As they grew and needed me less then I could also spend more time doing things for me. Guilt, absolutely not. Once you have a child, perfect goes out the window and you realize all your kids really need from you besides the basics is love. There is no limit to the amount of love someone has or the amount you can receive. But everyone's journey is different- no shame to anyone for however they feel about parenting or not.
I can relate to your message. I also had children much later and I believe this allowed me to really appreciate motherhood and have no guilt about the journey
Thanks for this comment. I'm turning 30 soon but i still feel unready for a child. I'd rather have one (if i can) at a later age where i feel more stable, secure and more grounded.
I'm also childfree by choice, like you I never felt the need to have a child and I've never seen myself as a mother. I'm happy and content with my choice, I never had doubts. I can't really tolerate the narrative of "childfree don't want responsibilities": I moved out my parents' house at 18, I completed my education with a PhD, I moved to the other side of the world where I didn't know anyone, all by myself, for work. I have wayyy more responsibilities than many parents that I know. It's so unfair to be seen as an immature person just because I simply don't feel the need to have children.
44 years old and childfree. I have never wanted children. I grew up in a fundamentalist cult, so I always thought I would have children, and I was dreading it. When I left the cult I immediately decided I would never have children, and I have never regretted that decision. I have a wonderful husband and a small farm. To be honest, I'm kind of even done with a lot of the farm stuff. I would really like to have a lot less responsibility and a lot more freedom. I can't even imagine how frustrated I would be if I had the responsibility of a child. I treasure my time alone, and I crave silence. These most valued things in my life would be completely gone if I had children. I am so happy to be child free.
Well snazzy - I remember watching one of your childfree videos from 7 years ago. Glad to see you're still here creating, Jenny!
Fellow CF human!
A lot of what I want is to be a very cool dad, but I don't believe you're necessarily wrong. The fact that you think so much about the responsibility is what matters.
Could you please address the topic of lonelyness in old age when choosing not to have kids? I also don’t feel like having them, it looks like a pure torment and sacrifice for me.
But the anxiety about lonelyness when I’m over 65 haunts me. My mother and grandparents are my only family and they are not going to be around all of my life. What when they’re gone? We can’t count on staying with a partner forever either.
And this is not a good enough reason to have kids: it’s selfish and it doesn’t guarantee that you’re not ending up lonely anyway.
I think it depends where you live and how close you are to people in general. I personally knew - and know - friends of the family in their 80s and 90s who never married. Some lived with siblings, some alone. They maintained & maintain strong ties with relatives & a wide circle of friends who looked out/look out for them and stay in touch.
Having kids still doesn't guarantee you wouldn't be lonely. So many people on nursing homes have kids and are just left there to rot. Having a kid isn't a "grow a friend". Many people die alone, one way or another, it's just life
I have two. I love them. But I realized too late that our society is not designed for women to have children. It is a very tough and ungrateful never ending job.
I am 50 and child free by choice. I knew from a very young age I did not want children and this did not change as I grew older. My husband and I both agreed not to procreate and we have zero regrets at this point. This is relatively uncommon in New Zealand and I have fielded many questions over the years from both family and strangers as to why. My body, my choice.
1. There are many things to consider if one wishes to have kids. Finances for child maintenance, their education till they can stand on their own feet (I don't believe in kicking them out when they are 18)
2. One's own mental health. If you have unprocessed psychological baggage, best not to inflict yourself on an innocent person. NOT FAIR.
3. Utter faith in your partner's helpfulness. There are some crappy people who leave the birth-giver to deal with the whole thing without sharing the work. People change over time, so if the partner changes their tune after birth, you are screwed.
4. Providing the child safety. The world is a shit place. The only one you can trust your child to, is yourself. (I wouldn't leave a kid of mine with my own parents. They have hurt me enough!)
5. Capability for patience (kids are trying)
These are just a few of the many important things one must consider I believe...
I'm currently pregnant but at the end of a long infertility journey, and I felt so lucky that I had strong women friends that had never wanted children so I could build a sense of identity and self without children through that time and not have my whole world fall apart of our final round of IVF hadn't worked out. 100% agree there's not enough positive representation of child free women. ❤
I don't have kids and to be honest, I never wanted kids. I technically am raising kids, or a kid since my nephew has lived with me since he was young (about 7 1/2). I absolutely never wanted them, even when I was really little. I love my kid, but it is tiring to deal with sometimes especially since he is in a difficult age group right now (I'm 32 and he is 15). At the same time, I wouldn't give him up for the world. So tomato tomato.
THANK YOU for what you said about love! Just a few days ago my boyfriend and me said to each other: maybe we don't desire to have children because we love and feel so intensely already
I'm 37 and never had children. I'm single as well. But I am a teacher and I have 2 godchildren under 2. I love being involved in their lives and hanging with them. But I also like my independence to sleep in, travel and pursue goals.
I think no matter what woman decide regarding this they will be looked down on by some. I have a large family by choice and the negative comments I receive are never ending. I also grow tired of the rhetoric that says once you have children you become a husk of yourself and you no longer have a future or are a poor, poor, "slave" or "handmaid" or whatever. It's so discouraging because it IS a hard job but I work hard to maintain my own personhood and am still pursuing dreams and projects of my own. I love being a mom but it just seems like no matter what a woman does with her life she will get told it's the wrong thing.😔 I think you've always been nice about how you don't frame this as a right or wrong choice.
I had 3 children, each terrific; and two of my 3 sisters had no children. My children have always been loved by them and that love is returned. So in a sense, they're not childless. Works out great for everyone.
Thanks for this balanced, positive video. I’ve also enjoyed reading your Guardian article. I’m 39 and happily childfree. And indeed, people can’t believe me when I say my age. I respect people’s choice to have kids, but I do sometimes think there should be some form of licence to reproduce (maybe including a therapy) - bringing an additional human being in this world is a huge responsibility towards the child, and towards the planet and every single person this child will interact with.
I also wanted to say that the way you describe your love for David took my breath away. It’s exactly how I feel about my husband - we’ve known each other for 23 years, married for 10, proud cat parents for 2.
Finally, a cheeky note from me: I follow 2 Swedish TH-camrs (the other being Benita Larsson), and both of you are happy with simple, repetitive meals. I love you both, but hearing this makes me want to bang my head on a wall haha 🤪 I guess I’m too French to understand this concept, as food is a source of joy and excitement for me.
Take care and thanks again for your great content.
Im 60 and never wanted children, in all honestly i only questioned my decision in my late 40s when i realised the choice was no longer there. But it was a blip, today im happy with friends and family i have grand neices and nephews who i adore, but i love the peace and calm of my life.
Seeing you lying down reading with a pile of books next to you - this reminds me so much of the position you find me in so often reading pretty much anywhere:) Only now I have my 9 year old lying down next to me reading her book and my 6 year old sitting down with something she's trying to decipher. They have seen me read so many books from an early age and it's great to now see my oldest spend hours with her nose in a book just like I have done from childhood.❣ I obviously get interrupted more often now but as they get older I get more reading time again (something for moms of younger kids to look forward to!)
Wait I guess that would be a point to having children! Btw idk if you’re into nyc vlogs but if so, you might like mine. Swing by, take a peek and stick around if you like. I’d be sooo grateful. 🙏
Hi! I am 32 and I am child free, I have known since I was a kid too that I didn’t want kids, but sometimes the social pressure gets to me, so thank you for your video. I am not broken I just have chosen a different path.
I always find it such a relief to hear you talk about how happy you are without kids. I’m the same as you in the sense that I’ve ALWAYS known I don’t want to be a mom. But, as a woman, sometimes it feels like the entire world is screaming at me that I’m going to be miserable if I don’t reproduce. Sometimes I even gaslight myself into thinking it. So it really, really helps me to see such happy, fulfilled, and vividly alive child free women like yourself living life and thriving ❤️
Becoming a mom gave me a new dimension to my human experience. Uncomperable to any other relationship in my life. I wouldn't want to miss that. But if someone does not want to be a parent they shouldn't force themselves. The new human beings deserve ALL THE LOVE AND CARE they could possibly get.
I am 39 and it’s only this year that I have accepted that I don’t want to have children .. Ive never been 100% sure but thought it something I “should” do. sure, I may regret it at some stage but I think I’ll regret it more if I did. In the meantime I’ll enjoy travelling the world and guilt-free cocktails 😊
The only thing that really makes me sad about not having kids are the friends and people that make me feel bad about not having kids. I wish everyone just lived and let live.