ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ม.ค. 2019
- At least half a million young men in Japan are thought to have withdrawn from society, and refuse to leave their bedrooms. They’re known as hikikomori.
Their families often don’t know what to do, but one organisation is offering ‘sisters for hire’ to help coax these young men out of their isolation.
A film by Amelia Martyn-Hemphill for BBC World Hacks
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Humans: build stressful depressing and hyper competitive societies of consumption
Also humans: hmm why don’t people want to participate?
Thank you. Also, guys just wanna be left alone so they can enjoy their peace, but, MEDIA MAYHEM putting them in the spotlight who the whole world now has eyes on them. smh.
Exactly....how more people don't see this is so frustrating. It's so obvious, like put 2 and 2 together ffs.
I hear that Lena....
I mean society can’t just turn everything that’s been made on its head. That would be wildly chaotic.
go live in the forest if you're not happy
I can't believe that they are seriously labelling this as a "unknown" problem. It's obvious that these poor men are strugging with severe depression in a society that doesn't take mental health seriously 💔💔
Or agoraphobia
I dont Quite agree...there is a big difference; and those two Conditions have symptoms that intersect and similar.
Ah, we have certified Doctor here
Definitely depression but a more unique cause. I've heard japan has huge expectations for men. Japan also has a major suicide problem. My only guess is that the societal standards are so high that it causes a lot of stress to keep up and a lot of shame if you feel you arent doing well enough
this pathologizing of depression sometimes leads to further problem I dont like labeling instead saying they have characteristics of it, I've seen better results in how they react
Just my experience though have a good day
You know you are one of them when you barely noticed any change in your life when Corona came.
Sigh. That's me. Except for the jackass panic-buyers at the store. I was so confused, shocked, frustrated and even a bit angry when the things I had been buying for years were suddenly rarely in stock. Bad manners people! Rrr.
Yep. I had the best time during the pandemic.
literally me lol. Ain't gone out in a decade and some gubmint orders me to stay in doors are they dumb lol
Not completely true. I was isolated firstly because I was recovering from surgery when corona hit, but by then I was used to it. Medical conditions that made me immunosuppressed did the rest.
That's what made me realize I needed to change my life. Well, that and being trans. Need money for trans stuff? Okay, looks like I need to get a job. I'm hoping to change things by moving to Portland with some friends and using voc rehab to get training for a tech job. (I qualify since I'm autistic.) I know I can do it, I'm smart enough and I like tech, it's just a bit nerve-wracking.
I am a female japanese, I live in Japan, and I was a Hikikomori when I was about 28. I studied in England when I was a teenager away from my parents, I think I was very desciplined. I went through a lot of depressions and self denial which is still my issue. I think I'm still Hikikomori a little bit because I've always felt scared to go job hunting, I don't know what made me think that I'm a worthless person in this world. But I've finally realized that thinking in such negative way isn't doing any good to my life and even to society, so I've decided to at least make possitive thinkings, like when I wake up in the morning and go pray at the Shinto Shrine. Before, I did not know how to think possitive, but I do get a lot of help (not a rental sisiter though^_^) and possitive thinking of my future is actually working get out of depressions!!
good luck on your journey in this life ❤️
I wish I was your friend.
i hope the best for you! i’m glad you are feeling better
素晴らしい、がんばってね！( ◠‿◠ )
Good luck in life! You should make a video on social media or TH-cam about your experience. Even sharing this post is helping others, and your written English is fantastic!
@@juku_juku i agree
They act like this is happening only to Japan or Asian countries.
This is basically a global phenomenon now tbh.
deathmire11 true here in North America too
My brothers like this, he basically never leaves the house. My mother brings him all his food and he just lives in his room
Asian countries never had a welfare system like lots of european countries. Japan wasn't that extreme before the 90s when the economy got down the first time really bad and people had to worry for their existence and competition increased. The west had this experience fully later 2007/8. Since then it is getting worse as well especially in middle-northern europe. Anonymisation, different workplaces, different people all the time, the difficulty to maintain social circles because of modern mobility and flexibility, sitting in rooms most of the time instead of being outside and more points is simply unhealthy.
My cousin is like this. Doesn't want to do anything.
Saying fuck you to society is highly relatable
To that blonde dude that was bullied because he chilled a lot with girls. the others were obviously just jealous.
It was homophobia, weather he's gay, bi, pan, a or hetero. Patriarchal societies abuse men that don't mistreat nor objectify women, and the ones that don't try to seem "manly", or that can't.
@Lucy Towey That is how patriarchal societies weed out the week and allow the strong to prosper. It's worked pretty well, considering how successful patriarchal societies have been. The real problem is not patriarchy, but the softening of our people. Liberal parenting and the increasing addiction to computers are the main culprits.
@@comicsans1689 I'm gonna stop you right there, patriarchal (and matriarchal) societies have caused true gender issues by enforcing gender norms (e.g. Men shouldn't cry and Women are weak), transgenderism wouldn't exist (at the scale it does) if we didn't enforce gender norms.
@Random Headphone Reviews Gender norms gave order to society, and maximized the strengths of the sexes and to mitigate their weaknesses. To ignore this crucial pillar to the success of our society is ignorant. Transgenderism was not a major issue until the degenerate sexual liberation movement started causing a ruckus. To ignore gender roles is to ignore biology, and will surely lead to our demise.
Name a successful society that did not enforce gender norms.
@@comicsans1689 That's not what I meant, gender norms *did* start out because of how Males are different from Females. However somewhere along the way they ended up being oppresive, and things have significantly improved since the peak of legitimate widespread toxic masculinity/femininity. Gender norms can be good (if they make sense biologically), but what's ridiculous is making people hide their emotions or shaming them for liking things that are "boyish" (or "girly").
People from the extreme left (or what people on the internet call "libtards") don't understand gender norms, and have no idea that they are more comforming than people in the middle (i.e. most people), they think that just because someone likes things made for the opposite gender it makes them a trans person (or closeted trans person), when in reality they are confusing personality with gender (which *can* affect personality, but should be considered a separate thing).
Also Chu-chu-ru!
If you write Hikikomori in Chinese the word would be "繭居族", which means "person who living in a cocoon".
That...
Makes sense sort of
I always say I wanna live in a bubble. That hits hard
@yoi GGG you should read "Die Verwandlung" by Kafka.
Read your comment as person living in coconut lmao
When the four corners of this cocoon collide
You’ll slip through the cracks hoping that you’ll survive
I'm an American hikikomori for about 10 years. It starts, probably with an inclination towards depression, but ultimately with a failure you can't let go of. Anytime you head back out in the world, all you can think is everyone knows your failure. It makes it easy to repeat that failure, and tell yourself no matter what it will always end in failure. It closes you off, and if you don't immediately spring back, it's so easy to fall in deeper than you imagined it could go. I can't even communicate with people directly over text anymore. Some people in the world want things this way. Unfortunately, i don't imagine my story is going to end as happily as some of these comments, but it does provide some comfort knowing people can get out of it. I don't want to die, but living is just way too much work.
th-cam.com/video/1G7yoJq3QOE/w-d-xo.html
Not a hikkikomori, but I relate very much to the failure mindset. Hope some aspect of your life improves in the coming years. Change can be slow, but one small step is a step : )
I'm 33, failed at life. No matter what, you are not alone.
Your words on failure ring true. I think people, particularly proud people (and men) tend to over-emphasize their failures in their own minds. There are legitimately terrible failures: having a loved one die (fiance, family, friend), dropping out of university, things of that nature. The trick for failures is to take them as learning experiences, I reckon. That's not to say one won't fall into a slump after experiencing such a thing, but one needs to bounce back.
I 100% oddly enough, know exactly what you are talking about. Every word of it. I am currently living this life ...going on 10 years. However---Discovering this video today will change everything. It was very inspiring and puts to rest the phrase "You are not alone". Thank you for sharing your commentary.
We need a “Friendship” version of Tinder! It’s really hard to make friends in metropolitan cities 🤷🏻♂️
Ok. I'll get my son to work on it.
worth a shot
@J H that's true though :D
There is a Friendship version of Tender, it's called, "The Letter Exchange" !!!
In 3d country it's easy to have friend
I think I’m a hikikomori. Here in America they call us losers though.....
ahahahaha, same in Australia - i've recognized myself becoming an isolated, insulated loner....
in brazil but in here i have a good reason..everyone is dumb
😂😂
Keep calm jeff bezos, Elon musk, mark Zuckerberg were under the same bracket. N now they piling up billions, i know money is not everything but it's most of the things
@@lifeofabarista1580 like its so easy to get rich xD
i think its not healthy comparing your circumstances to other people who were in a similar one and got lucky and eventually got out of it, it would just create delusion and bitterness
These Rental sisters should given honourary degrees in psychology, and publish their memors into science papers as one of the strategies for the Japanese social policymakers to deal with the aggregate stressors that are allosterically causing Hikikimoris break downs.
They should also concider therapy like the professional "Cuddlers' that operate here.
You think the social policymakers care? Some comments here are so naiive lmao
Bro there just random people trying to make a buck. It's like saying give someone the title of a doctor because they know how to apply first-aid.
The comments show why the effort so often isn't worth it. From this problem to the low birth rate issue, it's just nature readjusting to faze out what isn't working for the planet overall, men.
It's quite easy to find out what's bothering them and it's most often the shitload of pressure to fit into a society that demands perfectionist productivity, strict socal rules to follow by and encourages to be dishonest but polite to each other.
2020: the year where everyone's a hikikomori.
I went for a walk today. Felt so weird. Sunshine almost blinded me. jk. but almost not really
Wish It was for everyone, so society would have to do something about it. But no, only some "priveleged" people are able to stay at home.
@༒ ʙŁΔcʞXʀαʙBιτ how u do that?
Only if you have a lot of money to stay at home and get everything you need without working, most people just live normally despite the virus, only if you're a crazy paranoid hypochondriac you'd be like that.
That stuff also happens in europe. After my brother failed his university, he just stayed at parentshome and played videogames all day. Barley saw his few friends or left the house, had no job and no education. He now is in his mid 20s...I reached out to him, got him a small job and now a few months later he moves with me in my apartment. He even started doing sport :) still a long way but those people just need a reaching hand.
Well done from helping him , I wish people looked out for each other way more
Your brother's story sounds like my brother's, except it was a friend that helped him find a job. He works as a server in a senior's home now. My mom's still disappointed that he never finished school and didn't find a "real" job. But I can see that he's a lot happier now.
Well done 👍👍
Same here.
HK, 20+, failed in university for my pathetic classmate interaction performance. No longer go to lectures and even have problems picking up calls. Only leave house for seeing counselor/CP.
Now I try to apply for community college of 2 year hopefully more stress-manageable. And yet honestly, I try not to think about future cause I just don't see myself able to have one. Please stay there and be patient, that MEANS THE WOULD to us.
Thank you for being a good brother 🙏
"Our society is very tough on the weak." -- oh, that's such a good quote.
@david burrus: I believe in that approach too, but it clearly doesn't work all the time. If it did we wouldn't have this problem.
that's going to be motto of Tokyo Olympics 2020: "very tough on the weak"
@david burrus yeah no, the middle east has your dream life, yet its a cesspool of gobshite
@@cossaizy6309 really? What do you know about the middle east?
@@srivatsanraghavachar6583 i live in it...
Everyday I learn something new. The rent-a-sister idea is a great one. It gives people who are natural givers and kind-hearted an opportunity to use their talent to help those who need it the most. 😊
indeed. ❤ It is so hard for a grown-up to stay pure- and kind-hearted, especially for people who are not hikimori but live alone. It feels like society treats it as a disadvantage to be kind and pure-hearted to others. After your comment I realize it is a skill honed for a lifetime. It can be used to trailblaze big social change through seemingly simple interactions. And you are right, many many people need it and it is underutilized
900 dollars for 4 hours of work lmao
That was pretty much my life as a teenager girl. I know how it feels so I'd like to volunteer to help those that are going through the same thing. We do have to take mental illness more seriously and we should see the hikikomori as they are, simply people trying to survive in a society that can be very cruel. It's not shameful or ugly and they deserve help and not judgment.
Did you have friends or people who you could rely on?
I'm a 6-AP class high schooler who goes to a great school with the best parents ever. My parents would probably let someone live rent-free to throw pencils at me to do homework and be productive since I literally feel like I'm (and probably am) wasting all their effort.
So basically it's people with depression hiring councillors
Yes , exactly
Absolutely not, they explained in the video that a hikkikomori could be the result of depression but not necessarily, please don't relate "being alone" with being depressed, specially talking about Japanese society. To westerns is difficult to understand that a lonely person isn't the same as a sad person.
Yep, i think it is less intimidating... Doesn't make one feel like they have a disease or something
I was going to say rent a girl not going out not getting any
Hikkikomori could be social anxiety or PTSD, not always depression. Or certain people not wanting to be apart of a society that has a "get with it or get lost" mentality
How Hikikkomori became a thing:
Society: Be yourself!
Also society: Ehm, no, not like that
TRUE
Society: Be yourself!
--> Blue pill
Also society: Ehm, no, not like that
-->Black pill
gregor santospif basedcel
@Finn my point. If you walk down to Shibuya (I live in Japan) you're constantly bombarded with imagery of western lifestyles and the celebration of individualism. Then the young people go back home into suuuper conservative, often downright oppressive families where more often than not a young adult is supposed to make the parents proud, first and foremost. Who people are as individuals, what they want and like, doesn't really matter to anyone quite often. That plus a job market that's basically like a pool of sharks and you got a recipe for disaster. Obviously there are many other reasons for the rise of Hikiko as well but those are the basics.
Capitalism always will generate winners AND losers.
This is inevitable.
Outside of Japan we call them homeless people or housewives.
There will ALWAYS be more able body adults then there are jobs, let alone well paying jobs to be happy with. This is because demand determines the supply of jobs and because not all of the revenue a business makes goes to the workers, the buying power of the workers goes down after each cycle of money.
The ones accumulating the profits barely spend much of their income on consumer items. The rich spend their money on NEW investments to generate even MORE wealth.
With Japan's focus on robotics, this problem will only get worse.
Perhaps worker ran cooperatives could stop this, but it's too late to rely on that.
This is why North Korea has consistent population growth and birthrates above replacement, but South Korea has birthrates below replacement and world record suicide rates.
Capitalism has no room for losers and because not everyone can be a winner, capitalism will slowly eat away at the people inside it.
More like
Society: Work hard and be productive
Hikikkomori: I give up
Parents of Hikikkomori: I will keep supporting you and keep this quiet because this is shameful
I recently quit Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I found the relationships to be two-second interactions and they made me feel lonely. I only stay on TH-cam because I learn something new every day. But now I get my socialization needs met by a very small group of people -- in person and for more than two-seconds. In these days of social media and Covid-19 isolation, I am surprised that we aren't all massively depressed. I feel for these Japanese who live in a culture that largely ignores their very real problems.
The reality is that he'll always need you now that you've deeply bonded with him.
2:21 "I don't pretend. I just try to connect with them on their level." that's social work!
I think the hikkikos want the "sisters" to be much younger. Or in anime masks.
dont japan have social workers?
@@user-nf9xc7ww7m nah, this one is kind of milf-y.
Yep a state bully treating people like a child telling them how to live their lives.
@@ladydragon7777 These "state bullies" helped about 3000 people escape the isolation and restart their lives. But I'm sure you, a rando on the internet putting down hard-working strangers, know better.
My sister is like that in the US. She was bullied and suffers from anxiety and depression. She stays up all night playing video games and then sleeps all day. She has one friend who comes over every couple of weeks, but just has so much social anxiety that she doesn't want to make other friends. I think technology, with all its amazing advances, has enabled people to have this escapism 24/7 if they want it.
Hi Jenn. I'm in the same place as your sister. I've been slowly going outside again (just simple trips to the grocery store or computer center) and have been sending out resumes to some places because I want to get a job and change my current life situation. I hope your sister gets better soon and gets to improve her life.
oh those poor wamenz again
@@Fanaz10 Pls. don't be an ass.
@@Fanaz10 Because a female can also suffer from anxiety and depression the same as men, you say "oh poor wamenz"? As if gender has any say in who gets a mental illness lmao fuck off.
@@farhabuh886- Hi, Farha! Thanks for replying. I think that's amazing that you've been sending out resumes. It's so hard to break out of that cycle, and I really applaud your efforts! I've seen first hand how difficult that can be. Good luck with everything- sincerely!
Damn, I loved that last story about former hikikomori getting married. So touching
- It's not only men
- It's not only young
- It's not only a few "hundred thousand"
- It's not only "a condition"
This is the result of a highly authoritarian society with strict social roles for everybody that overexploits people and doesn't take mental illnesses seriously.
I agree, and: Society don't "take mental illnesses seriously", simply because society IS the cause of this disharmony too!
Fuck capitalism
We need communism😾
Yes
@@practice-righteousness it’s no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly SICK society
At the end, they only need a friend who cares and accepting them, even for money...
That's deep...
A female who doesn't treat them like s***.
Lingga Bastara so sad
I guess it could be said that a breakdown of healthy relationships can send people into that state.
people call this "a condition" is an insult. Completely horsesh$t
It seems like it is some serious mental illness. There is terrible stigma in many Asian cultures when it comes to mental health problems. They need to not only accept the illness but not be ashamed of it and truly treat it.
They are deeply depressed, this isn’t a new illness, it is just ignored in Japanese society and I don’t think assigning them a “name” helps.
blowing trees bro what?? women don’t exist for your sexual pleasure
@blowing trees Go to hell or sth
So Japanese would rather not believe in mental health issues but act desperate to help their children?
I can relate to them but I'm hateful towards myself and the journey ahead of me
I don't think this problems is just in Japan but all over the world ....
One of my childhood friends is a hikikomori here in Sweden, he has not left out small town for over 15 years, and only comes out of his apartment to buy food and then never talk to anyone. I have tried to reach out to him but to no avail. Very sad, as I know he is funny and kind.
My dream is to become financially stable enough to be a hikikomori for the rest of my life.
Fuck yeah
Me is opposite, I want to travel and live many experiences as I can with my family and friends (I even want to have money to invite them to travel to other countries) wish I had.
its too bad you weren't born rich....then you could have an effortless life. you could hire mental health counseling too! and someone would cook your meals and clean your house like a useless rich person.
It will be so good
@@alessandrosavoncelli I think we all wish we could be rich, overpriveledged rich people.
I remember when I was little growing up in Japan, my cousin committed suicide. It was so devastating. I only found out years later that he was hikikomori. It started because he failed his entrance exams into the college he wanted to go to. I wish they had this ministry back then. He might have recovered. But the family kept it hush hush. 😭
I feel sorry 🙏
That family needs to get their ass kicked for ignoring him
My condolences, Melissa. 😢
💛 May he Rest In Peace. 💛
So sorry to hear this. It sounds like it really affected you. My brother also did the same but we do not know what triggered his withdrawal or his eventual suicide many years later. I hope you have found closure....
They’re just depressed man. If society wasn’t so harsh then everyone would be happier
You can't blame 'society'. The solution is to provide a responsible path for these individuals, not raise taxes.
@@oddboxpolitics9912 who is talking about taxes? This people clearly need help, but the society does condition people to be some way or another, so it is necessary to make programs and policies to avoid this kind of problems.
@@cristobalcaro3392 Society doesn't condition anyone. People need to learn responsibility in order to function in society. I agree that there should be programmes that exist in order to teach responsible behavior.
I think its the opposite. If living was harsher, it would be less if an issue.
OddBox Politics you’re telling me society doesn’t set ridiculous standards
Dogs would also be great therapy for them. They have such a great way to lift your spirits and get you outside and enjoy nature.
wow, i have to say i can relate to these men so much. Every day, i am having to completely go against my nature just by functioning "normally". I despise having to go to work, i despise having to even leave the house sometimes, but i do it. I harbour resentments against people who are so effortlessly outgoing and don't even think about such things.
do you still harbour resentments?
Hikkimoris are the backbone of Top Rankers in League of Legend
Lol, you're 1000% correct!
@@jr_san Yup, almost in every other game too. Imagine the amount of time they put into a video game, probably 12 hours+ a day.
damn right ur comment applies to literally every hobby that exists
@damn right You are right that reality sucks and I hate it, but games do not rot. There are so much different kinds of games which offer lots of entertainment and things to learn. Unlike our job-system which is basically repeating same thing over and over again. Games offer entertainment which can be much more interesting than dull reality. I think that in future, when games are more sophisticated, then games are going to be the greatest drug humanity has ever created. Games are sucking young and old people in fantasy worlds. They will offer perfect escape from imperfect world.
I'm in mid-thirties and I'm not Hikkimori. I have studied/worked whole my life and I like the outdoors but I hate reality. I use all my free times with video games, movies and books. I wish so much that I didn't have to live in this world. I would want to live fantasy worlds. I can't wait that we can invent VR worlds like Sword Art Online or Matrix. When we invent that technology then I'm going I "move" there for sure.
Yoosung is one of them😂
This just sounds like chronic serious depression and withdrawal. The young man said that life is very unforgiving for the less mentally stong members... i think this can be seen in any society. It's very sad, but good if this approach can help! I think this is actually a very good idea.
Why is it that a female who is getting paid for one hour of compassion a week is the solution?
@@rastapatchmail2357 Exactly. What they need is a place where these people can hold down a job and have the chance to interact with other people. Once they can hold down a stable job they can easily reintegrate with society. There needs to be help from organisations and their government to address this problem and help them hold jobs.
Saw a boy
@@ivangoh5619 yes, i agree. Having self-pride in something like work or similar is very important. It contributes to self-respect and feeling more resilient (i.e. not afraid to put oneself out there). This is not an issue of men being given a hard time by women, it annoys me that people are trying to make this out to be the issue. In the current world, it is very hard for both men and women to be given a chance at a career for example.
@@lauraj4435 It's much harder as a man in the current climate to compete in the job marketplace especially for white collar jobs.
They're doing a great service. I could see how someone would fall into their situation, and it deserves note.
What these men really need is love and support from family and friends and also a therapist.
Hikkomori is something that is going to get worst more we dismiss mental health. Not just in Japan but everywhere, especially now.
If I had my own room I would lock myself inside it........
Mental health my ass! Bum's living of people.🐂💩
@@lovechild6988 That's kind of the attitude which makes these guys lock themselves in their rooms in the first place but I'm sure you have proof that hikkomories are just leaching off their parent for no good reason and not actually depressed.
No one will care until one poor depressed guy has one bad day
These young men just need to do a dopehamin fast and exercise.
Severe manic depression turned into extreme social anxiety. A society over stressed with success has created a generation of terrified men.
That's terrifying
I agree. Our society is very toxic. We are treated as 'men', 'women', 'worker', 'jobless' etc. When truthfully, we are just human who have emotions and limitations
And girls too.
Michael: And Japanese society is also basically telling young boys that they need to behave like girls, which makes the problem worse.
capitalism's fault
I think lonely people just need someone to be their friend and be there to support them. Nobody deserves to be a Hikikomori.
Not all of them need or want that. Our species doesn't deserve existence on the collective level.
I hope the people who are going through such tough times, find their happiness soon 🌼🌼
THIS IS DEPRESSION!! 😭
Horribly obvious. Look at their faces. They need love, exercise and a lot of sunlight.
Mick Lin Japan and other developed nations have problems with admitting mental illness
Yes but its probably not just that
Not necessarily. I enjoy staying inside away from people and that makes me happier, actually.
This is depression f***s, but it's defence mechanism, a fight or flight situation, ptsd comes in all forms and it is covid 19 great great grandfather aka panic attacks the most related to death and yet very much alive. So let's have it staying alive hahahahaha staying aLĹllllllllllllliiiiiiiive
Renting someone to be friends.
It sounds so weird
When they say .” I am going to visit the hikikamori.” Like its some kind of creature .
$900 a month for 4 hours work that you received no qualification for other than being a female. not bad at all! where are the people who complain about women pay gap?!
___ H How does this have anything to do with the pay gap? The pay gap refers to people doing the same job but getting paid different amounts. It doesn’t refer to men getting paid more than women in general. Thats a different issue.
@@tomasroma2333
I WONT GET POLITICAL !!!
I WONT GET POLITICAL !!!
I WONT GET POLITICAL !!!
I am getting political ... So just saying the "women" pay gap is a MYTH at least in most of the developed world, as women by LAW get paid the same for the same work , in fact in many situations women get paid more for less hours ... and simpler jobs , also men are much more likely to work past time , and also make up the extreme majority of the "dangerous" jobs .
@@tomasroma2333 you are right, it is more about equal opportunity for men and women, that the man hating feminists claim does not exist for women. I am a man, where is my equal opportunity to work 4 hours a month and get paid $900 ?!
This is kinda like peer support in mental health treatment. This is basically agoraphobia and anxiety . I had peer support when my anxiety got so bad I couldn't leave my house. This is actually a very good idea
Kenta's so cute 😭
I am an older gentleman, but I can identify with this, and having a caring sister and/or brother can make a Hugh difference in one life !!
I had a brother ...he died back in 2005..how I wish he were still around.
Ted Malley my sincere condolences, if anything happened to my brothers, I would be lost, hope you still have someone who your close to..
@@es-rh8oo An who wants to know?
@@es-rh8oo I’m ok, but I suppose everyone could be better, in different ways, everyone, however similar, have different needs, but when someone with a handle like NR210, ask me about how I’m doing, the first thing I wonder, are you familiar to me, anyways, I’ve always been in my own world, exploring, whatever, and to do it he things I’ve done, one must maintain a high level of fitness with a good sense of safety, not going to far, like climbing a wall that if you couldn’t make it up, you can descend safely, knowing one limit is important, but as we age, ones independence become a lonely vigil...so what’s your story, NR210, if you have one..
Hugh Difference. What a guy!
"i asked her to please smile forever next to me" that's such a lovely way of phrasing it.
Japan: rent a sister.
Alabama: it's free real estate...
Really? Free real estate?
@@nuri2318 yes, uncultured swine
*S W E E T H O M E A L A B A M A*
@@no-cx5ro no
Also Alabama: but it's ALSO a free wife if you rent a sister. Jk.
I had a rough childhood, and when I switched households (parents separated, never married) I ended up in a program where a social worker would take me out on day trips a couple times month. If I didn't have that experience, I think I would be a lot worse off in terms of social development. Just a little bit of positive human interaction can be life changing for some people. There's "invisible" people all around. Listen, and uplift.
Love what you said, and thank you for sharing your story. These "invisible" kind people are out there, those who empathize, are willing to listen, and are thoughtful, and hearing their perspectives can be life changing.
Very good video. Compassion and understanding is so evident.
Kenta looks like he's ready to cry... I want to hug him... This hurts my heart.
I think that he mostly looked like that because his contacts were irritating his eyes, I could be wrong though.
With a face like yours, you'd drive him out of his room and into his closet!
Overtly sensitive individuals like this need support regardless of gender, ethnicity, nationality. ... And if they have a disorder or disabilities even more so. It can be a lonely road and having a hand on a shoulder would do wonders, depending on the individual. Just don't go around hugging some people are so sensitive a touch can send them back to a traumatic event in life. Always ask. A high five would suffice for some and do a world of difference. 😎👍
@@LadyCoyKoi Yeah, overly sensitive individuals (aka snowflakes) need a good slap on the face, as a dose of reality.
@@rogerdodger8415 no, i wouldn't do that. Snowflakes are a different thing from just being sensitive, being a snowflake means you're sensitive AND you think you're unique and special, hence the name "special snowflake" People who become social outcasts are like that BECAUSE they received a slap on the face from reality and it made them want to depart from it
All they need is a real friend! Be extra nice to someone who needs it. Sometimes people just need some kindness and understanding.
I agree kindness and love really goes along way. It saved my life from suicide
It's hard to find kindness these days. I can't even go out of my room without getting bashed by criticises from my family. 😔😔
It seems that they need a female who can at least accept $225 an hour to be compassionate. Pretty sad.
If you like them so much why don't you just marry them?
@@blazedandconfused477 I don't think they're ready psychologically to marry. First thing they need is to stop playing games or watching TV. Then get a job. Only then think about marrying, even then they should know the person for at least 2 years so it won't end in divorce.
Seeing their relationship gives me so much hope. I needed this
I had this condition between 18-22. I even lied about graduating and dropped out of school. I even went so far as to forge my bachelor diploma (but later went back to school to get my real diploma at 25). When I think about those days, it wasn’t depression that started it but it sure turned into depression that lasted for over a decade. It started with a lot of anger at myself. Angry that I stayed up all night playing video games again or binging tv series. Angry I procrastinate like 80% of my time away. Angry I can’t hold down a job. Angry at myself for getting up late again, angry for failing to meet my own standards, angry I don’t have more friends, angry at blah blah blah. It’s not like I was lazy either. I “helped out” 7 days a week at my parents restaurant from 8 years old till 15, and finally worked legally from 15-18.
I STILL can’t pinpoint what made me withdraw from 18-22, but I swear, when I binge TV past midnight or play video games for more than a few hours at a time, and my day gets wasted away, I feel that traumatic “lost” and angry feeling again. I have to remind myself to stay away from that stuff and go out for a walk. It actually helps that I now have 2 large dogs that depend on me too. I can’t stay in all day or forget to feed them twice a day. I can’t even sleep in lol. Having stuff like this that forces me to get up and get out is good for someone like me. Left by myself, I would fall back into withdrawal.
Have you been tested For ADHD?
Because, hate to break it to you that this is unironically a very very common thing with ADHD/autistic people.
They go through life doing pretty good but then they burn out when they get to college/university
It might be helpful to look it up, if it’s not you no harm no foul.
So a rental sister is like a female counselor who comes to you instead of going to their office?
Here in the states, we just shame men who won't splurge on a quarter of million dollar shanty.
kind of. I believe the gouvernment should support them with better mental counselor education tho!
except they don't have any training or qualifications and are just there to befriend and help, so no, not like a counselor
sometimes you don't need a counsellor or a doctor, sometimes you just need a friend (obviously not in all cases though before someone says some dumb shit)
More accurately it would be a call girl you don't get to fuck.
These type dudes are all over the world, especially in North America and in Europe, especially the UK. Their souls were shattered by bullying when they were growing up.
Lol! No, they are just spoilt and lazy.
@@justme4014 fuck off Trumptard
@@justme4014 f**k off Trumptard
@@aeris2001Lol! Trump Derangement Syndrome much? Trump Derangement Syndrome = Bringing Trump into every situation, even things he's got nothing to do with. ...hehe
@@justme4014 act like a Trumptard, you get called a Trumptard, Trumptard, lol
I am becoming like that. I lived in 2 countries thai weren't democracies. People in democracies have no empathy nor basic respect. Narcissism is everywhere.
Thank you for helping them
Bully can seriously damage your mental health
Chances are, you already have a fragile mind in the first place. That's why bullies seek you out. They are attracted to betas.
@@burtonl7239 I have seen fragile mental minds dont being targeted and strong ones being targeted by bullies.... there is always a bigger fish.... specially if the big fish has friends, doesnt matter how strong mentally you are, you are not going to have a nice time.... and this is kids or teenagers we are talking about....
@@sergio446 Not every fragile mind comes into contact with bullies. There aren't that many bullies around. And strong people who get bullied are often because they are trying to break into an existing ecosystem or rise in a hierarchy and the dominant people are trying to put them in their place or defend their position. There is nothing wrong with that. Strong minds internalize the experience and learn from it.
Kids and teenagers are exactly what I'm talking about. Often, bullies are insecure in their own way. They don't go out of their way to seek bigger fish. They seek out weaklings. They target people who are often alone and shows characteristics of being timid and submissive. Often, these kids already have fragile minds or disturbed mental health in the first place, like being anti-social or plagued by phobias.
@DiverFictionB salman Actually, I counsel teens and kids for a living. Often I find that the victim's mentality is the cause of his bullying, rather than the bullying being the cause of his mentality.
@@burtonl7239 so you blame the victim
"Living your life more slowly and thoughtfully"....a solution to help the anxiety generation.
yes, balancing is key
More thoughtfully? Those with anxiety think too much already.
This generation doesn't have the same access to drugs and free open sex as the generation in the 50s and 60s did.
Too much technology separating people and too much work.
Less expectation. just have simple short plan and go do it baby step
This was incredibly well done. Amelia was fantastic.
Those two women are providing a truly humane service. Hope more of those women can help.
She married him. That was a twist! I'm happy for them!
It should be called rent a wife.
@@mysteries6894 No. They've just happened to found love and camaraderie after meeting first in the New Start facility. He wasn't her client at all.
Nah he got a free rental sister deal.
@me what? No link. Watch the whole video then you'll get it.
4:58 "What people misunderstand is that our society is very tough on the weak." Insightful comment - felt very genuine. Of course, we don't interact with "society," only individuals, but perception is reality. I wonder how individuals (and society) could show greater compassion on the weak.
If a person can't fit into society he's viewed as useless, and feels that way too as a result. Even old people, as they retire, their spouse dies, or children leave home, are removed from society. They key here being: feeling useful.
Perhaps a greater work could be made around finding something that feels fulfilling for these people. Even if it doesn't fit into the standards of what society views as usefull.
Omg its not about fitting into society or depression and hes not a real Hikikomori he just has daddy issues. Also its funny to think any Hikikomori would let u film them.
which is the main reason my uncles who works in the USA and has a green card would you rather retire here in the Philippines then retire in retirement home.
They end up bullying or ripping them off.
shallow wahmen, false promise of career even with a degree and other meaningless nonsense
It's cause of bad mental health lack of opportunities and pretty much the lack of help most hikikomoris where bullied most of them are just very unlucky in life.
I hate this world and I don't feel like I'm as strong as everyone else. Just a world full of pain
What are you interested in? Find an online group chat of people with similar interests.
i dont know why western medias repeatedly report about hikikomori things, it happens all over the world, not only in Japan.
I think it's the fact that they've named the problem, in the west we have no name for such a specific reclusion...
@@blowitoutyourcunt7675 incel or hermit
I know they only use the Japanese hikikomori Name Not the English one Of Neet
@@Sp1n1985 incel is a bit too harsh the more equivalent is Neet
They gave it a name, plus it's an excuse for journalists to get a free trip to Japan
This is exactly how my nephew was, until I gave him a job with my company, got him out of the house at least 9 hours a day .
Working and being around other people has completely changed him...the solution was easier for my nephew than a lot of unfortunate people I see here.
Bless you, you are very kind-hearted. Unlike judgmental society, they will pass easy condenscending judgement.
Doesn't always work that way for others
You had the privilege of supplying him with anew start but many people cannot afford that opportunity and its a shame. These people just fall off and the solution is right there, just out of reach. Its cruel.
I would love to be able to work for my uncle or another family member.
Very kind of you.
Ok but if the reason of Isolation is Social Anxiety then its hard to get someone out.
Sometimes people just need a good hug and someone to chat to. So just keep an eye out for your family, friends (old, present), neighbors, you could be the difference between life and death for them.
I remember reading somewhere that a lot of this is caused by Japan's job hiring culture. Japanese companies hire on mass during the time of college graduations once a year and essentially if you miss out on getting into a company during then it's incredibly difficult for you to get back into the job market because companies want fresh new graduates for lifetime employment. Apparently in the early 2000s there was a hiring freeze and a lot of people from that generation didn't get a chance to be hired and they've kind of become the lost and forgotten generation and that's where a lot of these men come from. I might be getting this completely wrong as I read it a long time ago, so anyone with more knowledge feel free to correct me.
The problem doesn’t happen overnight, so saying hikikomori is a cultural employment systems issue is on the wrong track….that may be the last straw, but it certainly isn’t the first (by the way, it’s “en masse,” from the French language, not “on mass”). Isolation begins in childhood, with a lot of individualized cultural causes and practices coming into play for children with certain personality traits, which were discussed in this piece. Since bedroom isolation is the common denominator in the hikikomori, then one critical cause and the way to combat it is for parents to keep their children’s bedrooms for sleep only….they can do this by keeping all devices with internet access and gaming systems out of their children’s bedrooms and in the communal room where families spend most of their time. Parents also need to refuse to spend time on the internet or doing other things not involving their children during those few hours they get to spend with them every evening, so they can be fully engaged with their kids, and also to provide positive social interaction models for them. Then, of course, changes in Japanese social, educational, and vocational expectations for teenagers and young adults have to take place, not just to reduce incidents of hikikomori, but also to bring down the alarming suicide rates for Japanese in those age ranges. The huge stress of maturation and individuation which ALL children transitioning from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to young adulthood experience, regardless of culture, can be mitigated to a great degree by parents who have made efforts to establish close emotional attachments with their children, who have refrained from pressuring their children to succeed, and who have sought professional help immediately if they don’t know how to be the parents their children need!
What you said is actually quite nice. I spent quite a lot of time in my room because everytting is there but sometimes I think it would really help to spend more time in places for community.
I go to the local shop once a week. I see my sister-in-law, eight hours a week. I’m very happy and I feel mentally healthier than I was before, I was depressed and suicidal, now I have hope.
There's always hope.
It's easier without hope facebook.com/starchenkoarthur/posts/10163269829850066
How are you? Are you feeling better?
Kenta has a good voice for voice acting.
Someone should tell him that, since he was made fun of for his voice, I think that would contribute to turning around his perception of himself
Ikr, he seemed like a pretty cool guy, I'd hang out with him :)
I lived like a hikikomori for 2 years without even realizing it. Dropped off school because of bullying and stopped going out because i have no friends. My family helped me out to get back to society, Now I go to school and i have friends all it takes is a little bit of peace and love.
I have same be and dropout a high school, got bully at work. As usual have no friend cause indifference. Now fight to stay at work for better life
That is very sweet ❤
To be a rental sister
Hikikomori need support
This issue isn't only in Japan. You could say that I am a recovering female hikikomori. I study part time at a quiet university where there is more support for students. Each week, I see a psychologist & work one whole day. The rest of my free time is spent in my room. Honestly, being around people makes me feel suicidal. From 6 -10 years of age, I was bullied & isolated by my classmates. The isolation happened again from 13 to 15 years of age. The environment that I was raised in was unstable too. My parents also had very high expectations for me. I learned from a young age that it is better to be alone than to be disappointed or heartbroken. I don't want anyones pity but i want people to understand that there are reasons why people turn out this way.
So what do you think it is about people that makes you feel suicidal?
The good thing is that not everyone is a bully at least.
lol @ female hikikomori. It's like saying femcel or whatever - such thing does not exist.
@trollNamed;23
What the fuck are you talking about. Also is this a troll sock puppet account? Nice name idiot.
I have so much sympathy for you. Much love sent your way.
@@Fanaz10 what's you're deal bro? Why is it impossible for you to think that females may have depression and anxiety?
Sigh.
Imagine being a friend who helps someone build themselves and be happy and be paid!!!!
THAT IS MY DREAM JOB!
imagine being nice and supportive
Would be nicer to offer assistance for free, not every family can afford to pay
@@momojojo1933 agree but it will take alot of their time so maybe just make it cheaper
I mean it’s better if it was from a friend and free at least knowing that someone cares about u ps I know therapist exists
People what I meant is for someone who is a great supportive empathetic friend, who of course does this shit for free, this would be a dream job. With all people I have built I could be a billionaire rn.
Why are people always looking at things at a negative light. JFC.
In America this has a couple different names, sometimes "support specialist" and its covered by insurance as a mental health service.
I'm so thrilled for Ikuo!!
3:18 Wtf, being friends with all the girls basically means you’re a king
Yeah, Ikr?
it can be either he is popular or a little bit feminim. Im guessing he's the latter because he got bullied.
The other boys got jealous. That's why they bullied him.
that issue is littered in homophobia and perhaps jealousy
Yep king of the gays
I was not expecting the love story at the end! They're super cute together!!
It only worked because the down and out person was a girl. Guys will marry a woman who has nothing to offer. The Hikikomori guys on the other hand.....
@@citycrusher9308 ...what? Did you even watch the video?
@MishMeesh
Yes, I watched the video. The girl got married to her ''brother'' but the guys don't get married to their ''sisters''. Because the ''sisters'' don't fall for down and out men
@@citycrusher9308 The girl was the rental sister introduced earlier in the video. The guy was a Hikikomori. They met because he got help from the organization she worked for.
lol u fucked up
Ayako and Ikuo, what a lovely story.
I'm 24. I feel like completely failure person. In India it's hard to live like that. Wish I could have normal life like everybody else. This loneliness is killing me.
I haven't had a friend for something like fifteen years. I've come to terms with it studying easy Buddhism (The Dalai Lama's Cat, The Tao of Pooh and The Teh of Piglet) as well as Scientology. I am just starting to move back out into society and I don't have any friends yet but I am gently but firmly holding my position on what I think and am willing to do. I don't know if that would work for everyone but it's taken me down from constant panic attacks, knots in my muscles the size of small boulders and a constant attitude of deer-in-the-headlights who knows it's about to get hit again.
It's only going to get worse until you give up the hope of being with someone give up whatever it is you're hoping for because it just ain't happening
I think many experience this kind of reclusive behavior especially when experiencing depression among other things, not just Japanese men. I remember when I would just never leave the house for 2 years straight unless to go to church or to get a smoothie by my house due to postpartum depression. It's interesting how different countries deal with coping societally
More accurately how the countries don't deal with it.
Oh Nami surprised 😲 to see you here. Thank you for sharing your story!
From what I've read,not every hikikomori has depression. Many of them have other mental illnesses indeed,however some of them don't really have a clear reason for becoming shut-ins.
Exactly ‼️
NamiiCho church?
I’m not surprised at all really...I can totally empathise.
These days, most people are rude, ignorant and selfish!... it’s much easier and less stressful to just avoid people all together!
Martin Ekert Agreed
@@jayanths1221 As a student of medical college psychology, i wish what you said was true. I really do. But sadly your statement is false.
@@realpolitics527 You being a student of medical psychology doesn't invalidate my point. Besides, I could claim to be the lead physicist working at NASA and there's no way you'd be able to tell if I'm lying or not.
@@jayanths1221 you implied they didn't work, you don't know that.
I don't avoid people but people are scum and probably should be avoided
@@thelord5349 How did you know people are scum if you've never even met them?
The concept is obviously showing promising results.
But almost $900 a month?! That seems predatory..
The problem is the NOT Hikikomori. The problem is COOL society. Everyone is expected to be "cool" in one form or another. Act cool, talk cool, walk cool, behave cool. Drive a cool car, wear cool clothes, have a cool haircut. Live in a cool house. Have a cool job or business. Have a cool girlfriend. If a person isn't cool, he is considered to be childish, immature, naive, a nerd, a failure, a loser, a nobody; bullied and walked over at worse, ignored and shunned at best.
Incidentally the amount of female hikikomori are about the same as men. But it's viewed as positive in Japan for women to want to stay home, and not really a problem....
Because of their dated views.. I really wish Japan would just ... Update their views, morals, etc. Especially on mental illness and sexual harassment.
I know it's easier said than done, but Japan's society is a bit dated in certain areas.
Fuck this shit
I thought females hikikomori are much less. According with other Sources.
@@SessmaruKusanagiGaming
Why do all societies have to be the exact same in every area? It's as if there is this expectation that people are being taught about how every society should be.
@Bronze Cop
I agree and I'm in the west. Society needs house wives but so often women reject being one.
No wonder our birth rates have plummeted. And many people just don't want children anymore either. We are in an artificial society now which has less natural factors while other social service jobs are filling the gap. In Japan they have paid fake sisters, paid fake girlfriends, robots for old people....that seems to be a society that has some social dysfunction.
Heartbreaking to see so many beautiful souls hiding themselves away from society, especially a society with high expectations. Really happy that there are people willing to help out. I wish you all the best
This video help us rethink what is good society and how to shape them
Block them from internet we'll see if they still want to stay in their room🙄..
Bro that killed me
Good stuff.
I'm kind of in the same situation, only I'm disabled. Not crippled or anything like that. Just been self isolated for so long. I do get out of the house, and am able to drive, I just don't have anywhere to go.
Imma try to change for the better in 2019. Not just for myself, but for my family.
Wishing you all the best 😎😊
Sorry 🙏🏾
Good luck with it.
I understand you
Force yourself outside once a day. Even if it's for a small walk around. I'm also disabled and for a long time bedridden. I know how it's easy to just give up or hide. Even though you are disabled you can still build a good life for yourself. Don't give up and love yourself to make small goals that are easy to meet. You deserve to be happy. 🤗❤️
"future wife... Ayako, the rental sister."
me: whaaaaaat!
Sweet home Alabama
O-onii-chan my kokoro isn-
I'll leave
One of the few situations where "she's not my blood-related sister!" is a valid excuse.
Nani!!!
Anthony Suarez exactly thats what I’m saying
i am so So SO grateful to have More than 1 Siblings
The comments here are just... bruh.. You're not a hikkikomori, stop using that word.
Not being around people 24/7 isn't a mental illness, it's called life. Struggling to meet new people is normal too.
Stop calling yourself things that you are not.
Im in my room for 4 years by now and im just 17.. i dont go to school since 2 years the last time i met with someone was around 8 months ago
Who knew hikikomoris are saving everyone lives right now?
In what universe is this even remotely true?
XD
Electrickoolaid A In Isekais.
@@aplaguedoctor406 Ours unfortunately.
Hes talking about the pandemic dude.
@@aplaguedoctor406 In a universe where a Covid19 Pandemic exists; the one we're in right now
Rental sister. Essentially the same thing as an outreach worker.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. It's essentially just mentorship x
They made me get a "big sister" when I was a teen. I hated it. They said the point was to get me out of the house more, but she got pissed at me when I told her I couldn't go with her that day because I had plans with a friend. Made no sense.
We all just need someone to hold our hand most of the time... For the past year, my depression and anxiety has made me want to stop school and stay inside of my room because I learnt that I wouldn't be able to take up my dream course in college and my step-dad passing away. I felt like I lost sight of my future that I've been preparing for the last couple of years now. Even just looking at my emails and texts makes me really scared. Luckily, one of my friends pushed through the wall I made and lifted up my spirits.
I still feel really bad for not getting my dream course and ignoring my studies but I've met someone that made me realize a lot in my life that are more valuable. I hope other hikkikomori find people that can hold their hands as well.
Im from the us and i have an uncle similar to this he goes out some times but has not had a real job for decades after he was let go he lived withy grandparents and now lives in their old house now that they have passed my grandfather was not the nicest person but was incredibly intelligent and i think that pressure and failure was what drove him to that
Coronavirus has made us all hikikomoris
I was just thinking that.
Yup
Yes im feeling bit lonely now
Didint make me better at league of legends
Was looking for this comment. Lol
She's saying hikikomori are often sensitive people. This makes a lot of sense to me
I was isolated from fifteen to eighteen, after developing terrible fear and depression from having severe eczema. Even in Canada it is so easy to "fall through the cracks". That's what they say about people that are forgotten about. Bad things happen and you get scared and never leave your bedroom again. Recently I met some old friends and they asked me, "what happened? Where did you go?" I had to tell them I never went anywhere, I was just hiding.
They are doing an amazing job