I LOVE that you jumped STRAIGHT into the 12 traits, and then elaborated on them. Some people wait forever to make their point, and by the time they do my mind has wandered away. Great video! 🙏
Just started dating at 50 in Los Angeles, where Narcissism is more "accepted" because awareness is not advocating and in fact is perpetuated by social causes and virtue signaling. I can vouch for everything you're saying. A big clue is their obsession with social media, their photo poses, and the image they portray. They're almost copy cats of each other.
@@Cellocurve Good question although things are a little different in LA so you never know. I suspect a lot of women are influenced by what they see younger women doing and want to portray that "hip"vibe. Posers to impress others.
You are extremely brave, and have huge respect for your honesty. I have seen narcissistic men and women in my own family. Narcissism is a growing issue all over the world. Social media and the internet have made it worse.
We have several generations of women raised on Disney’s fairytale of the princess’s emotional and material happiness and expectations are met by the prince, who only lives to serve.
Sooooooo true. I just walked away from my Disney Princess covert narcissist girlfriend after 6 months of crazy sexual highs and really abusive lows. It’s like I was dating a teenage Kardashian, flamboyantly fashionable, dawning all the gold rings, bracelets, and heart-shaped necklaces you can imagine......super cute and energetic to the point where her behavior embarrassed me a few times in public because I had to tell her to calm down please.....and then if you pointed out her bad habit of going on coffee dates with guys who wanted to be her boyfriend or inviting her guy “friend” back to the hotel room for a “plutonic” sleepover......then I’m the asshole.....then her claws come out and accuse you of being “too sensitive”...........umm no. I’m simply pointing out that you’re leading several lonely men on with your “I’m a little princess” in a skirt and crop-top behavior. Which is super inappropriate and also extremely disrespectful of me and the husband you’re still married too!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Yeah, I was super naive. I should have seen THAT as a major red-flag right there!!! 🤷♂️
This is so painfully accurate I can barely listen to this video. What hurts the most is that I married this woman (my free will) and therefore, I feel responsible for my present condition. It has been 2 and a half years since calling for police intervention and I am on the verge of collapsing in ruin from the emotional, spiritual, financial and intellectual abuse. It took me well over a year of hard work just to find language to comprehend all that had occurred. God knows I need an epiphany of some sort. Make no mistake, full metal malignant narcissist will destroy you at any level they can!!! 🙏🏼🔥💪🏾 🌱
Right there with ya buddy...same thing here: I married her out of my own free will because I felt I had to to do right thing under God....but this whole NPD takes it to the next level.
Indeed ... they will ruin you ...and LAUGH Behind your back ...as this makes them FEEL Powerful. Twisted minds ... but ...look back - as you may recal some of your friends from your past - that did simmilar crazy behaviours - boasting in front of the friends - how they can treat a wife or a girlfriend like an idiot... then gheeting, lyong, twisting things, denegrating, verbalybabusing - then kissing etc etc ). ( I know few of those). There are sick people out there in huge numbers - and feminiSS produced millions additionaly.
@kentburge6701 Sorry you went through this. While you heal and learn you MUST have compassion for yourself, love yourself, and think kind thoughts always. The more you are aware of your thoughts, the better. Know everyday that you are growing and becoming stronger. Eventually you will instinctively recognize these toxic behaviors and find a partner that is healthy.
@@carospereman3537 thank-you for your insightful words and encouragement. This has truly been an education far beyond university. Again, thank-you for taking the time to inspire. 🙏🏼🔥💪🏾 😇
1:17 Refuses to respect boundaries. 4:11 Loves you to be in pain. Keeps you from family and friends. Talks about self mostly. 6:54 Plays the victim. Blame shifts. Can’t take criticism. No regards for your feelings, lacks empathy. 8:32 Loving and hating you to control you. 9:51 Materialistic - money and possessions. 12:11 Believes is envied by others. 17:08 Withholds sex to control and punish.
Man! You really describing my wife. I’ve been married over 10 years and all this time, I thought I was to blame, I thought her behavior was because of me, I see that she lives in a fantasy world witch I not part of it.
@@willyS502 I was there too, buddy. Secretly gather evidence of her behavior, get an attorney, and then leave her. My biggest regret was not leaving sooner. There is no fixing them, I tried everything.
@@willyS502 I was in the same situation, we were together for 14 years. I did manage to find the one thing she knew she couldn't compete with, and that was hardcore alcoholism. I DON'T RECOMMEND THAT STRATEGY. But, seriously, I do recommend learning more and taking care of yourself. Just in a much healthier manner.
Question: what if a narcissist husband eventually turned the table around and now you look like the narcissist in the relationship? You became hyper vigilant insecure reactive rage?
Agree number two. Done with urges or societal propaganda that says you must be/do this to be that. Need less , what you have/are is already abundance. Contentment is knowing it.
Especially when the narcissist lives with you because her own family doesn't care about her I used to think that my brother would date her forever or worse marry her that would have been a death sentence and yes she would make everything about her even when my brother almost died which she caused might I add .
Abuse is a human issue, not a gender issue. We need to take women off the pedestal and grasp the fact that there are both men and women out there who can be absolutely bonkers. I spoke with a few women online, and when they say: I thought it's only men who can be abusive. Women are emotional, so you gotta expect some drama. I RUN when I hear someone utter these sentences. This gender war has to stop.
@@susanjones8489 depends on how you interpret it. Men and women process differently. Women are more emotional, that doesn't mean it's negative. Men think logically and can miss emotional cues. The fact you took 'emotional' as an insult, well you kinda proved it in your response. Men and women are two sides of a coin we should bring balance to one another and compliment one another. Unfortunately the powers that be are doing everything to destroy relations to the point they are creating robots for company. The world is getting sicker and sicker to the point of no return.
I totally agree, abusive women are alive and well, I have witnessed it for decades, my son had a partner that unmistakably displayed those 12 behaviours you are describing it was heart breaking to see and hear.
My spouse is an abusive narcissistic woman. I'm just learning this. It's like I had an aha moment while getting this information. I could show her this video and she'd first of all get angry, then say it doesn't describe her.
@@MansaX then she’d play victim, then she’ll realise you’re seeing her clearly and then start to produce a narrative and potentially move onto calling the cops on you and starting to blame you
Man I've been binge watching all kinds of videos on NPD. This video is the best in describing the female narc. I left the US to find a non-US indoctrinated lady and did - in Kenya. The marriage lasted for just over 3yrs. I recently ejected after finding her entering the discard phase and searching fory replacement. Grief is quickly being replaced by relief. Your description is a mirror to what I experienced. NPDs are EVERYWHERE, like spiders. Run from these women, don't walk. As a disabled veteran I got my ass handed to me, both emotionally and financially, on this rollercoaster ride. I feel like I now have a PhD in African women studies. Live and learn. Sub'd to your channel.
You are absolutely spot on. I am a woman who has had to fight against what is the “norm”… victim mentality women who act weak and silly in order to get attention and manipulate relationships. I have seen it TIME and TIME again and am ashamed of the majority of my sex. On the flip side, me being a stronger minded lady who has proper boundaries, had a really bad time in the dating world… most men wanted me to be weak and silly and saw my strength as threatening. I am married now to a wonderful man who enjoys my strengths and appreciates my views. I, too, feel the same about him! Men do not know how to be men, and women do not know how to be women.
From about 3:00 minutes to 4:25. My guy is spot on! Amen brother! We need to bring this fact to the light! We fathers need to come together and do something about this, so that we do not lose our daughters. Especially our daughters but also ours sons. We need to teach them to be real men, and not put up with this abuse.
My ex-wife definitely ticks off the bulk of those boxes, leaving her was not a choice but a necessity. You are correct when you say that we need to be accountable for our choices in partners, I had a gut feeling that something was off the very first time that I met her and didn’t listen to that inner voice, so that’s on me, not her. I have spent the last 5 plus years sorting myself out and and what happened, it was something that was long overdue. So sometimes, good can come from bad…
Very first date, after her second drink the mask came off and a monster maniac was telling me off. 5 years later, thousands of hours of study and coinciding I’m now immune to the malignant psychopath I once fell head over heals for
I agree that childhood trauma is deeply rooted in our subconscious and has a much greater impact on our lives than we realize, particularly for men, who are required to brush off any negative experience, and that is something a man needs to recognize and come to terms with.
Thank you SIR. The pain is real for us. I can feel your pain because I can relate. I am still in the relationship but called her out in therapy and now she is in the discard phase and I get relentless abuse. I have been working on myself for over 1.5 years now but the hurt gets overwhelming a lot of the time.
As a woman and a survivor of severe abuse, it saddens me what some women have decided to do to men. ABUSE IS NEVER OK. Men matter. Everyone deserves safety and dignity.
I remember when my now adult step-daughter was about 14. My husband, her Dad, had cellulitis. He was in horrible pain. She literally turned around and looked at him and I and said "It's weird, but I don't feel sorry for you at all. I mean, like, I don't feel bad for you". This was when I knew for sure what was coming. We were not able to help raise her, save for 4 hours on a Friday a week. Her mother is the same. We are currently being "blocked" for not paying her car insurance. Your videos are very helpful and I have shared them with my husband, as he is grieving, as expected, now that we no longer have anything of worth to give her, she has gone silent. You're truly given us so much helpful information. Thanks for that.
My ex wife is a narcisist. My 16-year-old daughter lives with my ex-wife and is also a narcissist. The two of them create a drama weekly and I am summoned to resolve their conflicts via telephone. It is a massive he-said, she-said drama. Is there anything that I can do for my daughter?
@@MrTodayistheday I know this question may not be intended for me. Our "ex" (his ex) is also a narcissist, so there you have your output of a daughter experiencing the same issues. Just to say, my step-daughter is 25 and when she was in her teens, she and her mother had weekly dramas as well. The ex would want hubby to get on the phone to "help", except it was almost a trick or a trap every time. Ultimately he learned to tell her, if "Daughter" needs someone to chat with, I am happy to talk to her (we lived two blocks away)-she is welcome to come and I will take her for a ride and maybe things can calm down a bit. But the thing was, they were never looking for a resolution. They were looking for drama. In short, we had to learn to say "Both kids, we love you so much. Our door is always open. You can come and stay anytime. You can call anytime. Our home will always be the same, our love with be the same and the door will stay open for when you want to communicate, have some fun, watch a movie, take a break, whatever it is. I'm not sure if that was of any use in your situation. We all know the truth is that this hurts. It hurts like nothing else. A father's grief, or a mother's grief is immense. I think of how I feel and I am a step mom, I can't imagine the depths of despair you go through. I only know I wish it were different. Instead-the best we know to do is to lean on each other and keep growing and learning.
@@MrTodayisthedayshoot straight with her politely calling her out on her selfish bullshit and just walk away telling her that she's welcome to come live with you and respect your rules or stay with her mom. If she stays in the drama then make it clear that around you there is no nonsense. There is zero drama aroud you. And because of that, you will no longer get involved in her and her mom's circus.
@@clubdesalud1488 Thank you very much for the eloquent response. I am so close to the situation I did not see it. Until recently, that has been my approach. I was recently faced with some BS that threw me off balance. I am going to frame your response and put it on the wall. Thank you again.
Education is all! After 15 years of marriage, and finally searching a lot to find out the root of my wife's behaviour I can now see it all and predict every of her steps. I am with a covert one and I wish I'd known it all way before. Many things seemed abusive, but I had no clue that the are actually abuse! my last 15 years is full of regrets! Now I feel more powerful and revising my behaviour and relationship.
Kenny I appreciate how you always make us take responsibility! I watched this for my ex. He has had the gamete in three wife’s but the second is the person you spoke of here. I hope I can get him to watch this because it would help him understand. I have told him about you already and how you made me understand that it wasn’t just him and I explained to him that I need to take responsibility too. Thank you
I was raised by a single mother who shows strong signs of NPD and it set the stage for meeting a very narcissistic woman who "rescued" me from my mother. I truly didn't know any better and, after a lifetime of denigration and invalidation growing up, I was afraid that would be my only chance at having a relationship with a normal, "understanding" girl. She was a nightmare! Extremely self centered, lazy, and manipulative at all times, but since I was raised to believe everything was my fault I just kept trying and trying to do better and make her happy. We were together for 14 years because I also had no idea how to end it and was so isolated by that point I couldn't see a viable way out. One of the biggest reliefs when i learned about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder was that making them happy really is an unwinnable game, and I'm not the only one that kept trying to play and losing disastrously.
1. She respected certain boundaries but not others when it suited her. But she wasn't as bad for this. 2. She did seem to get off on putting me down when in her mind there was a "justified" reason to. 3. She used anxiety to do this. If we had an argument, and I'd spoken to my mother about it, she'd refuse to see my family because now she was anxious. This made it difficult to speak to family about issues. She would also tell her friends very one sided versions of things to poison them against me, but because of anxiety we couldn't see my friends. So if we were going to have a social life I'd have to suck it up and see her friends, knowing that they know all this shit about me (that are likely half truths) and that I was not allowed to talk about it and just had to pretend everything was fine. This effected me a lot tbh. 4. She could go on forever. And I don't mind people talking about themselves, I do too. But it was definitely excessive, and rare for her to be as invested and curious in reciprocation. 5. Definitely played the victim. I could tell her she upset me in some way, not even a big deal, could literally just be a "oh sorry I was a bit agitated I shouldn't have done that" then all is forgiven type deal. Which is normal. Would turn into her exploding about how she feels, she feels guilty and that I'm trying to make her feel guilty etc. And beat me down until I'm the one apologizing despite that she was actually the one who initially upset me in some innocuous way (like being a bit petty or rude or something). 6. See 5. 7. See 5 again. But I'll add that basically any kind of criticism did get very hostile treatment. 8. She seemed to have a lot of empathy for everyone else in her life, just not me. 9. She could quite often flit between the two. Tbh I often felt the things she said about me when she was being nasty to me were what she really thought of me. 10. Tbh she wasn't actually that materialistic at all. But she does spend frivolously. 11. This one I'm not so sure about, but she would imply this kind of thing about work colleagues sometimes. But again, less applicable than others. 12. This one was a huge one. We had a fairly good sex life the first year of our relationship. Not hypersexual but not frigid either. I started to notice I was always initiating, always giving affection but getting none back. So I stopped. And then sex and intimacy basically stopped. And every time I brought it up it was an opportunity to beat me down psychologically. I'm still living with her. She plans to move out but is taking a long time. It's been incredibly difficult in all honesty
Child support and alimony are the only two reasons I've hung in there this long, but I'm not sure for how much longer I can do this. It's sad that in order to get out of a toxic relationship is has to cost so much for years. It's a loss/loss either way.
Wonderful truths here!!🙌🏼 Your authenticity is so admirable. I’m learning to admit my faults / shortcomings to my sweetie more and more. I also open conversations by calmly expressing myself by saying “I” feel anxious, upset, nervous, etc., instead of putting him on the defense by saying, “YOU” make me feel this way or that. Your book has been SO helpful, Kenny. I’m also learning not to take his need for space and time away from me personally - (even the super rowdy friends, haha) and I actually encourage his time spent w family too (of course, it’s easier when you love them to bits). Everyone should read your book - and I mean everyone!!! 📘👏🏼👏🏼 PS - Your abstract paintings are awesome and we love purple!! 💜💜💜
From all that I have learned on narcissism, I am convinced that it is serious dysfunction of the prefrontal cortex. Attention span is stuck on themselves as well as judgement. They lack empathy, low in tolerance, perseverance, learning from mistakes does not come into play, because they do not make mistakes, introspect and retrospect are limited and used for manipulation control, coercion, and triangulation, when it does happen. Self objectivity is virtually non existent in the narcissist, and that is the PFC. Gas lighting, straw man fallacy, reaction abuse, all involve lying and distorting reality for the control. The prefrontal cortex becomes dysfunctional in many ways. If a person does not have strive throughout their life, then one is not forcing is services and it will atrophy accordingly. The other is de myelination, which can be caused by metal toxicities. The prefrontal cortex gets myelinated last and when one researches the molecular ingredients for myelination, they are also very near the same ingredients needed to chelate out ingredients that do not belong in the body and brain. The prefrontal cortex is second fiddle to our immune systems. There is no evidence that a narcissist will get better or improve in some way throughout their lifetime. I believe we are not learning narcissism the right way, as we are not tying metal toxicity to the disorder, knowing that metal toxicities result in de-myelination. Autism, Asperger Syndrome, ADD, ADHD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Alzheimers as well as others have been linked to metal toxicities in the body and brain. They are biomarkers to our body and brains health, and we are not relating this to the personality disorders. I realize that psychology pertains to the conditioning of influences on our behaviors, but ultimately, dysfunction in our brains, influence how we are conditioned. Thanks for sharing on female narcissism. Often, in researching metal toxicities, we associate it with men, mainly because of industry and wars. We don't associate metal toxicities with females so much. If women do not exercise the prefrontal cortex, it will atrophy accordingly. Lise Leblanc has excellent videos on youtube for female narcissism.
Well said, Kenny, as always. You bring the uncomfortable truths to the forefront, with love, compassion, and understanding, without blame but with responsibility for all concerned. Relationships only exist when there is more than one person involved (fairly obvious, but I think some people miss that oh-so-obvious point) and behave as if they are the only one in it. From watching your videos (more than once - and I've recently bought your book [I'm in the UK]) I've really come to realise the pain that narcissists live with even if they don't know it. I've been on the receiving end of that myself, and he was a gaslighter too (this was not in the UK). Thanks to you, I can genuinely forgive him even though I felt I was about an inch away from a nervous breakdown at the time. I know of a major trauma event that happened in his young past, which he told me of, and because of you I now understand the deep childhood pain that he still suffers within, which provoked his behaviour (he still refuses to get help). I own my role in choosing him (based on my childhood trauma), thanks to your teaching. I truly wish healing for him and all the others trapped in that emotional whirlpool. Keep doing what you're doing, Kenny, and all blessings to you for your ongoing journey. xx
To fight, to stand up for yourself is ask the divorce before you fight so hard that anyone dies.Go away and get separated before hard damages are caused.Don t postpone anything because of nice memories.See your reality without sunglasses and the hope that the other will change, after you have asked her or him to go together to the cuple s therapy and they don t accept this. Leave and shake your sandals' dust from that place.Dust is the grace of what we learned through that relationship, taking full responsibility for ourselves.We decided to choose that situation and we muted the small inner whisper which told to us many times" Please don t, she or he is not the right for you".
12 traits of Narc women. KW, your accurate assessment of the behaviors of these toxic individuals is spot on. The script is always the same no matter what background you have. In my healing process I learned early that I had to concentrate on myself and why I let the abuse happen. In doing so, I realized that it started in my family with my father being a narcissist. It answered so many questions. I was unconscious for so long. Some scholars on the subject say that narcissists (even though there is no person inside, just a false self) help those that need to be awakened. Debatable, but something to think about.
Thank you for this. Im not a narcissist. I was wondering because of the constant criticism. Its crazy how they are so good at projecting and playing the victim. And it can be very confusing but after a while its all very predictable.
damn brother I'm sorry you went through so much pain. i know most commenters talk about their OWN situation, but i really am sad for all that you had to live through. you're doing a great job dr!
I actually agree with you, and can see in myself the need to take responsibility for certain things that i tend to get defensive about... I think it is very healthy to be able to admit when one has been wrong and its very refreshing actually to hear someone who is willing to do it (be tbey a man or a women)! I want to thank you for the video🙏 It is helping me confirm the reason that i have been feeling so horrible at work- I have not been able to put my finger on my boss's behavior, and have been leaving work every day feeling deflated, disturbed, and even depressed. It has been quite empowering and freeing, to figure out what is really happening! For three months i have been allowing this womans behavior towards me to take a toll on my sense of self... What worries me, is that while I now know the truth about this dynamic, my coworkers may not. Im a little concerned about how she could try to undermine or hurt me at this job... any suggestions? Thanks again🌼
I really appreciate your continual focus on personal responsibility in choosing the person we did... Many sites and podcasts very rarely do that! and highlight the victim status continually. I have greatly appreciated that in my ongoing growth and learning process...
Wow, every trait, well explained. My Narcissist has all but one, sorta, that is, materialistic! But she will not work, and the money she asked for, she never has nothing to show for it and she just takes off without saying where she's going, when she'll be back or who she's going to see!
Amazing video, you are saying basically everything that I've gone through in multiple relationships! You speak the truth that we cannot, we appreciate you!
I have added. Often forget things and disorganized. Shamed constantly and told I should take medicine etc to change. Funny I owned a business for 40 years with thousands of clients that don't seem to have a problem with me .
You're right..........the trend beginning about the time of All in the Family, the husband or father is nearly always clueless, a lout, a boor, a buffoon.
Excellent video. Sadly this video describes my former male spouse to a t. I do agree that men need more support when being abused. Many npd persons marry another cluster b - typically bdp who will act out. There is also reactive abuse. I disagree that women cannot apologize, although I understand your perspective because I have seen it many times in counseling office. A healthy person - male or female will apologize when they are wrong and have no true intention of causing harm. Thanks for sharing your story, adds so much value. Agreed that we have truly created a society that silences, devalues, and disrespects men yet - men truly are proven to be more likely to be abusive and dangerous to women. Men you are valued, respected, and appreciated! All - keep doing the self-work! We elevate society when we work on how we show up in it.
Kenny, i watch Videos about Narcissism since i broke up with my narcissistic Ex almost 7 years ago, but this was the most on point description of her i ever saw. Wish i found you earlier.
Wise man, if you are as compassionate as it seems, promise, you are kept.(unless you are a landlord or other sucker.) Thank sir, i am recovering 9years in this maelstrom... 🐉🌹🐍
This is true. It goes both ways . Men and women can be narcissistic. I think some responded with offense because it's not heard through the lens of extreme situations. For example, withholding sex and not "feeling like it", whatever the reason are different so long as it's not treating it as your terms only and also explaining why. Before I found my voice due to my trauma, I didn't realize that was abusive behavior later through my healing process. Thank you Kenny for the wealth of information! Very informative.
@KennyWeiss Thank you for your videos I just discovered yesterday. Even though I am a woman who lived through domestic violence done by men, I also had several female friends who I had to cut from my life for their narcissistic abuse, belittling towards me. I still have more “ trimming “ to do. The sad part is that narcissism is prevalent in women . You’ve mentioned laughing at us when we’re in pain.That was a “ bingo” moment for my realization of their cruelty , to be validated in my observation. In addition , whenever I was sick or in pain , they had to come and say they are sick and they are more on pain. One of these mean narcs I cut of from my life almost 2 yrs ago they are still trusting to triangulate my daughter in this. The narc recently texted my daughter :” O miss your mom’s craziness! Tell her that life is too short and she should get over it and restart out friendship!” I could not stop laughing 😂 You also mentioned the “ emotional supply” - and yes! I was a prime supplier of that because I am ,by nature , expressing my emotions with laughter, « joie de vivre « and compassion . Thank you for your sharing your experiences with us🙏🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
I give everyone the same advice, male and female. Leave. Get out of relationships. Be self-sufficient. People resist because of all the perceived benefits, but each is weighing you down, not lifting you up. In time you realize, all relationships are based on power and you're either on top or not. On you're own, you're always on top. There's no other place to be.
Thank you Kenny. Women abusing Men is increasing more and more rapidly. Across cultures n continents. Soo grateful to come across this video. Really appreciate it n very helpful indeed. Just wish i came across it sooner. Thanks
To add to your comments regarding her using your pain against you and needing to be in MORE PAIN than you are. How about that tactic where she gets hostile if you WON'T share your troubles with her and then when you do, she plays the competition game where "you don't have it as bad as I do" and at some later date she uses your "SHARE" against you to belittle or criticize you?
Thank you for this. They are all around us. There is an epidemic here in the UK of women who go for a night out, get very drunk, "feel men up" touch men or molest them (this is a sexual and punishable crime by law by the way) become very agressive, can become violent and extremely obnoxious when challenged, or just spoken to in general, and as you say here Sir, it is being swept under the carpet, and is not being talked obout by the media or wider public. I would encourage anyone to film such behaviour (if it safe to do so) and send it to the Police if further action is needed. As a foot note, the Guardian Newspaper did an article on a UK Club Bouncer who said he was subjected to this Female predatory behavior,most evenings at work, and he said not only was he disgusted with it, but also the lack of seriousness taken by people, indeed the comments regarding this article, was for many many Men to simply laugh it off or congratulate him for getting "female attention" A lot of women laughed it off too, but it gets serious attention if it is the other way around. We live in a Society that is crumbling morally, and that is contradictory at the very least.
How about the Narcissistic woman who is married and goes after another man to fill her desires? She treats her husband terribly and he's a good man and works hard and provides so much. It's never enough!
Vastly under reported by men because it's shame based. They use your man up and don't complain male characteristics against you. Now it's time to man up and tell her to go. Great video.
I am glad that I could hold out longer than my last 2 exes for sex than them. I've been single since 2007, and they can do their worst, and it just reinforces my decision to remain single. Live is better without toxic drama.
Exactly right, my narcissistic ex wife tried withholding sex at one point. I don't know what she imagined my life was like before I met her but I was pretty used to that already. Eventually she realized I could hold out a lot longer than she could and she'd start asking, which meant I actually got to turn her down. She was incredibly lazy and selfish with all of that stuff too, so it also saved a lot of effort on my part.
@@paulforester6996 Thanks, you too! I'm learning every day to not only help understand my experiences and how I got here, but also to learn the things I didn't know to look for before. I feel like we're all better off knowing how to recognize and remove these people from our lives. Good luck to you as well!
My son is living with one he is a broken man she has 9 of these traits the other night I witnessed the worse mental abuse on my son I feel for his safety I cannot convince him his mental health won't improve untill he leaves he said he only stays for his 16year old son but his other son 23 has joined in with her it breaks my heart as a mum to know this is going on
Just saw a commercial where a guy thinks it’s expensive to maintain certain car make. A woman argues that it isn’t. The man then isn’t sure if a carton of milk is still good. She says not to listen to him about his opinion about the car because of it. Very insulting and emasculating, yet it’s excepted.
I am female and this trend sickens me. It’s demeaning to see men portrayed as weak or stupid. Funny fact: I’ve rarely had issues in the workplace with men. The worst snakes are women
Thanks for your *BRAVERY* in posting this video. 👍 STRENGTH is the ability to stand up and speak the TRUTH. It’s a little ironic that “gaslighting” is attributed to the male character in the play where the female victim is gaslighted, because it’s actually women who are the experts at this. 16:02 Holy cow, when I made the first comment, I hadn’t even watched the video the whole way through yet. MAN, you are *POWERFUL.* This is TRUE male empowerment. 👍
Instead of ever just saying sorry it’s up to you to deal with it accordingly. An apology is extending the olive branch or an excuse or because I did something
We’ll done Kenny Weiss! Absolutely the best provocative insight and summation! 100 % on board. I encourage all “perfectly imperfects” as myself to routinely return and review on daily basis. Good will and Good luck… thank you again Kenny Weiss
I too, am finding value in this content-- however, I've only just happened upon this channel ... I have to say he's straight up well-spoken knowledgeable and speaks truth (as many others do as well...) But I've noticed that he hasn't once babysat his audience - meaning, it doesn't follow everything he says up with some sort of justification or explanation... for the purpose of easing the misunderstanding of others. I wish people could just have a conversation and say what they mean and mean what they say as he is clearly and concisely doing. Once in a while for the purpose of clarity when you're talking about a sensitive issue (which, of course this topic is..) However (intelligent) knowledge is power-- and this is exactly that! P.S. Did I catch that he was single.... lol! I'm sooo afraid to date-- thus, I'm kinda looking for someone just to have a conversation with - and I love intelligent speaking individuals who, too find value in a good conversation. (Aka the free flowing of information between two or more like-minded individuals! 💪🧠📚🙏💖) And I'm done with attempting to have a perfectly simple conversation with those who make my head spin!!! 😵💫 I have a new appreciation for childlike enthusiasm but not when it comes to conversations and, important stuff.. when important conversations are required .Although I do appreciate childlike enthusiasm - at any age.. I very much value being around grown ups... those who actually ARE grown up-- those who act like a grown-up; and those who also take pride and find value in BEHAVING like a grown-up. Is anyone else feelin that, too? (Anyone.. Anyone? Bueller... Bueller?? [*teehee* 🤭] Sorry, my bad... I'm not trying to make light of a serious topic-- and thus, I know all too well.. emotional and mental havoc it can read on a person's. (As for my injecting little comic relief into the convo... ) Sorry, I couldn't resist! I just happened to have watched it the other night.. so, how could I?! 🤷🏻 (ref Ferris Bueller.. )
I LOVE that you jumped STRAIGHT into the 12 traits, and then elaborated on them. Some people wait forever to make their point, and by the time they do my mind has wandered away. Great video! 🙏
When dating, always watch out for the bossiness. If it’s apparent when dating, think how bad it will be when you are married!
Just started dating at 50 in Los Angeles, where Narcissism is more "accepted" because awareness is not advocating and in fact is perpetuated by social causes and virtue signaling. I can vouch for everything you're saying. A big clue is their obsession with social media, their photo poses, and the image they portray. They're almost copy cats of each other.
@@Cellocurve Good question although things are a little different in LA so you never know. I suspect a lot of women are influenced by what they see younger women doing and want to portray that "hip"vibe. Posers to impress others.
You are extremely brave, and have huge respect for your honesty. I have seen narcissistic men and women in my own family. Narcissism is a growing issue all over the world. Social media and the internet have made it worse.
Well said.
As a woman it is very refreshing to see a man who is so very honest..
Social media made us " AWARE " 👀; which iz phenomenal . 🙏🏾💯
We have several generations of women raised on Disney’s fairytale of the princess’s emotional and material happiness and expectations are met by the prince, who only lives to serve.
Sooooooo true. I just walked away from my Disney Princess covert narcissist girlfriend after 6 months of crazy sexual highs and really abusive lows. It’s like I was dating a teenage Kardashian, flamboyantly fashionable, dawning all the gold rings, bracelets, and heart-shaped necklaces you can imagine......super cute and energetic to the point where her behavior embarrassed me a few times in public because I had to tell her to calm down please.....and then if you pointed out her bad habit of going on coffee dates with guys who wanted to be her boyfriend or inviting her guy “friend” back to the hotel room for a “plutonic” sleepover......then I’m the asshole.....then her claws come out and accuse you of being “too sensitive”...........umm no.
I’m simply pointing out that you’re leading several lonely men on with your “I’m a little princess” in a skirt and crop-top behavior. Which is super inappropriate and also extremely disrespectful of me and the husband you’re still married too!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, I was super naive. I should have seen THAT as a major red-flag right there!!! 🤷♂️
When men play that role they are a servant.
This is so painfully accurate I can barely listen to this video.
What hurts the most is that I married this woman (my free will) and therefore, I feel responsible for my present condition.
It has been 2 and a half years since calling for police intervention and I am on the verge of collapsing in ruin from the emotional, spiritual, financial and intellectual abuse.
It took me well over a year of hard work just to find language to comprehend all that had occurred.
God knows I need an epiphany of some sort.
Make no mistake, full metal malignant narcissist will destroy you at any level they can!!!
🙏🏼🔥💪🏾 🌱
Right there with ya buddy...same thing here: I married her out of my own free will because I felt I had to to do right thing under God....but this whole NPD takes it to the next level.
I hope you're doing better. You are not alone. They are horrible social media in recent years has amplified the narcs immensely.
Indeed ... they will ruin you
...and LAUGH Behind your back
...as this makes them FEEL Powerful.
Twisted minds
... but ...look back - as you may recal some of your friends from
your past - that did simmilar crazy behaviours - boasting in front of the friends - how they can treat a wife or a girlfriend like an idiot... then gheeting, lyong, twisting things, denegrating, verbalybabusing - then kissing
etc etc ).
( I know few of those).
There are sick people out there in huge numbers - and feminiSS produced millions additionaly.
@kentburge6701 Sorry you went through this. While you heal and learn you MUST have compassion for yourself, love yourself, and think kind thoughts always. The more you are aware of your thoughts, the better. Know everyday that you are growing and becoming stronger. Eventually you will instinctively recognize these toxic behaviors and find a partner that is healthy.
@@carospereman3537 thank-you for your insightful words and encouragement. This has truly been an education far beyond university.
Again, thank-you for taking the time to inspire.
🙏🏼🔥💪🏾 😇
1:17 Refuses to respect boundaries.
4:11 Loves you to be in pain.
Keeps you from family and friends.
Talks about self mostly.
6:54 Plays the victim.
Blame shifts.
Can’t take criticism.
No regards for your feelings, lacks empathy.
8:32 Loving and hating you to control you.
9:51 Materialistic - money and possessions.
12:11 Believes is envied by others.
17:08 Withholds sex to control and punish.
Man! You really describing my wife. I’ve been married over 10 years and all this time, I thought I was to blame, I thought her behavior was because of me, I see that she lives in a fantasy world witch I not part of it.
@@willyS502 I was there too, buddy. Secretly gather evidence of her behavior, get an attorney, and then leave her. My biggest regret was not leaving sooner. There is no fixing them, I tried everything.
THANK YOU
@@willyS502 I was in the same situation, we were together for 14 years. I did manage to find the one thing she knew she couldn't compete with, and that was hardcore alcoholism. I DON'T RECOMMEND THAT STRATEGY. But, seriously, I do recommend learning more and taking care of yourself. Just in a much healthier manner.
Question: what if a narcissist husband eventually turned the table around and now you look like the narcissist in the relationship? You became hyper vigilant insecure reactive rage?
Great point made here! No one, man or woman, needs to live in a situation like this.
I agree 👍🏻
Agree number two. Done with urges or societal propaganda that says you must be/do this to be that. Need less , what you have/are is already abundance. Contentment is knowing it.
Especially when the narcissist lives with you because her own family doesn't care about her I used to think that my brother would date her forever or worse marry her that would have been a death sentence and yes she would make everything about her even when my brother almost died which she caused might I add .
Absolutely true.
Abuse is a human issue, not a gender issue. We need to take women off the pedestal and grasp the fact that there are both men and women out there who can be absolutely bonkers. I spoke with a few women online, and when they say: I thought it's only men who can be abusive. Women are emotional, so you gotta expect some drama. I RUN when I hear someone utter these sentences. This gender war has to stop.
Defining the problem is among the first things necessary to end a conflict.
“ We need to take women off the pedestal...Women are emotional.” Wowza the misogyny and self victimization in this post couldn’t be clearer. SMH 🤦♀️
it's pretty much a western thing. Other countries are not so much that way
@@susanjones8489 depends on how you interpret it. Men and women process differently. Women are more emotional, that doesn't mean it's negative. Men think logically and can miss emotional cues. The fact you took 'emotional' as an insult, well you kinda proved it in your response. Men and women are two sides of a coin we should bring balance to one another and compliment one another. Unfortunately the powers that be are doing everything to destroy relations to the point they are creating robots for company. The world is getting sicker and sicker to the point of no return.
Women are emotional and boys will be boys are two sentences we should all stop using. They’re just justifying bad behaviour.
I totally agree, abusive women are alive and well, I have witnessed it for decades, my son had a partner that unmistakably displayed those 12 behaviours you are describing it was heart breaking to see and hear.
My spouse is an abusive narcissistic woman. I'm just learning this. It's like I had an aha moment while getting this information. I could show her this video and she'd first of all get angry, then say it doesn't describe her.
@@MansaX then she’d play victim, then she’ll realise you’re seeing her clearly and then start to produce a narrative and potentially move onto calling the cops on you and starting to blame you
Sorry to say this...only mothers of troubled sons admit to this behavior of women.
@@MansaXtypical reaction
Man I've been binge watching all kinds of videos on NPD. This video is the best in describing the female narc. I left the US to find a non-US indoctrinated lady and did - in Kenya. The marriage lasted for just over 3yrs. I recently ejected after finding her entering the discard phase and searching fory replacement. Grief is quickly being replaced by relief. Your description is a mirror to what I experienced. NPDs are EVERYWHERE, like spiders. Run from these women, don't walk. As a disabled veteran I got my ass handed to me, both emotionally and financially, on this rollercoaster ride. I feel like I now have a PhD in African women studies. Live and learn. Sub'd to your channel.
Was she a narcissist
It sounds like she was a narc, hence the discard phase....yes?
Great honesty and valuable advice for men that really need to start listening.
And i thought European man were better . My bad .😂😂😂
Yep , man can be awfully narcisten as well .
Three years help her become US citizen from marriage.
You are absolutely spot on.
I am a woman who has had to fight against what is the “norm”… victim mentality women who act weak and silly in order to get attention and manipulate relationships. I have seen it TIME and TIME again and am ashamed of the majority of my sex.
On the flip side, me being a stronger minded lady who has proper boundaries, had a really bad time in the dating world… most men wanted me to be weak and silly and saw my strength as threatening. I am married now to a wonderful man who enjoys my strengths and appreciates my views. I, too, feel the same about him!
Men do not know how to be men, and women do not know how to be women.
From about 3:00 minutes to 4:25.
My guy is spot on! Amen brother! We need to bring this fact to the light! We fathers need to come together and do something about this, so that we do not lose our daughters. Especially our daughters but also ours sons. We need to teach them to be real men, and not put up with this abuse.
My ex-wife definitely ticks off the bulk of those boxes, leaving her was not a choice but a necessity. You are correct when you say that we need to be accountable for our choices in partners, I had a gut feeling that something was off the very first time that I met her and didn’t listen to that inner voice, so that’s on me, not her. I have spent the last 5 plus years sorting myself out and and what happened, it was something that was long overdue. So sometimes, good can come from bad…
Well said!
Very first date, after her second drink the mask came off and a monster maniac was telling me off. 5 years later, thousands of hours of study and coinciding
I’m now immune to the malignant psychopath I once fell head over heals for
The "too good to be true" gut feel none of us listen to!
The channel is growing every minute Kenny as it should, considering the value it’s offering!
💯 they almost teach man hating at my daughters girls school!
I agree that childhood trauma is deeply rooted in our subconscious and has a much greater impact on our lives than we realize, particularly for men, who are required to brush off any negative experience, and that is something a man needs to recognize and come to terms with.
Thank you SIR. The pain is real for us. I can feel your pain because I can relate. I am still in the relationship but called her out in therapy and now she is in the discard phase and I get relentless abuse. I have been working on myself for over 1.5 years now but the hurt gets overwhelming a lot of the time.
As a woman and a survivor of severe abuse, it saddens me what some women have decided to do to men. ABUSE IS NEVER OK. Men matter. Everyone deserves safety and dignity.
Abuse sucks. Sorry you went through that.
Amen! Male or Female; a Bully is NOT OKAY!
I remember when my now adult step-daughter was about 14. My husband, her Dad, had cellulitis. He was in horrible pain. She literally turned around and looked at him and I and said "It's weird, but I don't feel sorry for you at all. I mean, like, I don't feel bad for you". This was when I knew for sure what was coming. We were not able to help raise her, save for 4 hours on a Friday a week. Her mother is the same. We are currently being "blocked" for not paying her car insurance. Your videos are very helpful and I have shared them with my husband, as he is grieving, as expected, now that we no longer have anything of worth to give her, she has gone silent. You're truly given us so much helpful information. Thanks for that.
My ex wife is a narcisist. My 16-year-old daughter lives with my ex-wife and is also a narcissist. The two of them create a drama weekly and I am summoned to resolve their conflicts via telephone. It is a massive he-said, she-said drama. Is there anything that I can do for my daughter?
@@MrTodayistheday I know this question may not be intended for me. Our "ex" (his ex) is also a narcissist, so there you have your output of a daughter experiencing the same issues. Just to say, my step-daughter is 25 and when she was in her teens, she and her mother had weekly dramas as well. The ex would want hubby to get on the phone to "help", except it was almost a trick or a trap every time. Ultimately he learned to tell her, if "Daughter" needs someone to chat with, I am happy to talk to her (we lived two blocks away)-she is welcome to come and I will take her for a ride and maybe things can calm down a bit. But the thing was, they were never looking for a resolution. They were looking for drama. In short, we had to learn to say "Both kids, we love you so much. Our door is always open. You can come and stay anytime. You can call anytime. Our home will always be the same, our love with be the same and the door will stay open for when you want to communicate, have some fun, watch a movie, take a break, whatever it is. I'm not sure if that was of any use in your situation. We all know the truth is that this hurts. It hurts like nothing else. A father's grief, or a mother's grief is immense. I think of how I feel and I am a step mom, I can't imagine the depths of despair you go through. I only know I wish it were different. Instead-the best we know to do is to lean on each other and keep growing and learning.
@@MrTodayisthedayshoot straight with her politely calling her out on her selfish bullshit and just walk away telling her that she's welcome to come live with you and respect your rules or stay with her mom. If she stays in the drama then make it clear that around you there is no nonsense. There is zero drama aroud you. And because of that, you will no longer get involved in her and her mom's circus.
@@clubdesalud1488 Thank you very much for the eloquent response. I am so close to the situation I did not see it. Until recently, that has been my approach. I was recently faced with some BS that threw me off balance. I am going to frame your response and put it on the wall. Thank you again.
@@the_original_t Thank you very much for the advice. It brings tears to my eyes.
Your honesty and transparency is refreshing and bold. Bravo!
This video describes my mother perfectly. I was a victim of childhood abuse. This blows my mind
I agree with all of this, 100%! It's misunderstood and endemic currently...
Education is all! After 15 years of marriage, and finally searching a lot to find out the root of my wife's behaviour I can now see it all and predict every of her steps. I am with a covert one and I wish I'd known it all way before. Many things seemed abusive, but I had no clue that the are actually abuse! my last 15 years is full of regrets! Now I feel more powerful and revising my behaviour and relationship.
Kenny I appreciate how you always make us take responsibility! I watched this for my ex. He has had the gamete in three wife’s but the second is the person you spoke of here. I hope I can get him to watch this because it would help him understand. I have told him about you already and how you made me understand that it wasn’t just him and I explained to him that I need to take responsibility too. Thank you
I was raised by a single mother who shows strong signs of NPD and it set the stage for meeting a very narcissistic woman who "rescued" me from my mother. I truly didn't know any better and, after a lifetime of denigration and invalidation growing up, I was afraid that would be my only chance at having a relationship with a normal, "understanding" girl.
She was a nightmare! Extremely self centered, lazy, and manipulative at all times, but since I was raised to believe everything was my fault I just kept trying and trying to do better and make her happy. We were together for 14 years because I also had no idea how to end it and was so isolated by that point I couldn't see a viable way out.
One of the biggest reliefs when i learned about narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder was that making them happy really is an unwinnable game, and I'm not the only one that kept trying to play and losing disastrously.
What are you still doing there? Leave!
1. She respected certain boundaries but not others when it suited her. But she wasn't as bad for this.
2. She did seem to get off on putting me down when in her mind there was a "justified" reason to.
3. She used anxiety to do this. If we had an argument, and I'd spoken to my mother about it, she'd refuse to see my family because now she was anxious. This made it difficult to speak to family about issues. She would also tell her friends very one sided versions of things to poison them against me, but because of anxiety we couldn't see my friends. So if we were going to have a social life I'd have to suck it up and see her friends, knowing that they know all this shit about me (that are likely half truths) and that I was not allowed to talk about it and just had to pretend everything was fine. This effected me a lot tbh.
4. She could go on forever. And I don't mind people talking about themselves, I do too. But it was definitely excessive, and rare for her to be as invested and curious in reciprocation.
5. Definitely played the victim. I could tell her she upset me in some way, not even a big deal, could literally just be a "oh sorry I was a bit agitated I shouldn't have done that" then all is forgiven type deal. Which is normal. Would turn into her exploding about how she feels, she feels guilty and that I'm trying to make her feel guilty etc. And beat me down until I'm the one apologizing despite that she was actually the one who initially upset me in some innocuous way (like being a bit petty or rude or something).
6. See 5.
7. See 5 again. But I'll add that basically any kind of criticism did get very hostile treatment.
8. She seemed to have a lot of empathy for everyone else in her life, just not me.
9. She could quite often flit between the two. Tbh I often felt the things she said about me when she was being nasty to me were what she really thought of me.
10. Tbh she wasn't actually that materialistic at all. But she does spend frivolously.
11. This one I'm not so sure about, but she would imply this kind of thing about work colleagues sometimes. But again, less applicable than others.
12. This one was a huge one. We had a fairly good sex life the first year of our relationship. Not hypersexual but not frigid either. I started to notice I was always initiating, always giving affection but getting none back. So I stopped. And then sex and intimacy basically stopped. And every time I brought it up it was an opportunity to beat me down psychologically.
I'm still living with her. She plans to move out but is taking a long time. It's been incredibly difficult in all honesty
Married??!
This information should be thought at school.
Child support and alimony are the only two reasons I've hung in there this long, but I'm not sure for how much longer I can do this. It's sad that in order to get out of a toxic relationship is has to cost so much for years. It's a loss/loss either way.
I m dealing with a situation similar
Your two marriages and life of learning mirrors what I've experienced and grown from and through as well. Thank you for your video!
We need people classes in school. To learn about ourselves and others is very much needed.
Wonderful truths here!!🙌🏼 Your authenticity is so admirable.
I’m learning to admit my faults / shortcomings to my sweetie more and more. I also open conversations by calmly expressing myself by saying “I” feel anxious, upset, nervous, etc., instead of putting him on the defense by saying, “YOU” make me feel this way or that. Your book has been SO helpful, Kenny. I’m also learning not to take his need for space and time away from me personally - (even the super rowdy friends, haha) and I actually encourage his time spent w family too (of course, it’s easier when you love them to bits). Everyone should read your book - and I mean everyone!!! 📘👏🏼👏🏼
PS - Your abstract paintings are awesome and we love purple!! 💜💜💜
From all that I have learned on narcissism, I am convinced that it is serious dysfunction of the prefrontal cortex. Attention span is stuck on themselves as well as judgement. They lack empathy, low in tolerance, perseverance, learning from mistakes does not come into play, because they do not make mistakes, introspect and retrospect are limited and used for manipulation control, coercion, and triangulation, when it does happen. Self objectivity is virtually non existent in the narcissist, and that is the PFC. Gas lighting, straw man fallacy, reaction abuse, all involve lying and distorting reality for the control. The prefrontal cortex becomes dysfunctional in many ways. If a person does not have strive throughout their life, then one is not forcing is services and it will atrophy accordingly. The other is de myelination, which can be caused by metal toxicities. The prefrontal cortex gets myelinated last and when one researches the molecular ingredients for myelination, they are also very near the same ingredients needed to chelate out ingredients that do not belong in the body and brain. The prefrontal cortex is second fiddle to our immune systems. There is no evidence that a narcissist will get better or improve in some way throughout their lifetime. I believe we are not learning narcissism the right way, as we are not tying metal toxicity to the disorder, knowing that metal toxicities result in de-myelination. Autism, Asperger Syndrome, ADD, ADHD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Alzheimers as well as others have been linked to metal toxicities in the body and brain. They are biomarkers to our body and brains health, and we are not relating this to the personality disorders. I realize that psychology pertains to the conditioning of influences on our behaviors, but ultimately, dysfunction in our brains, influence how we are conditioned. Thanks for sharing on female narcissism. Often, in researching metal toxicities, we associate it with men, mainly because of industry and wars. We don't associate metal toxicities with females so much. If women do not exercise the prefrontal cortex, it will atrophy accordingly. Lise Leblanc has excellent videos on youtube for female narcissism.
So true both parties should be able to feel safe and valued
Well said, Kenny, as always. You bring the uncomfortable truths to the forefront, with love, compassion, and understanding, without blame but with responsibility for all concerned. Relationships only exist when there is more than one person involved (fairly obvious, but I think some people miss that oh-so-obvious point) and behave as if they are the only one in it. From watching your videos (more than once - and I've recently bought your book [I'm in the UK]) I've really come to realise the pain that narcissists live with even if they don't know it. I've been on the receiving end of that myself, and he was a gaslighter too (this was not in the UK). Thanks to you, I can genuinely forgive him even though I felt I was about an inch away from a nervous breakdown at the time. I know of a major trauma event that happened in his young past, which he told me of, and because of you I now understand the deep childhood pain that he still suffers within, which provoked his behaviour (he still refuses to get help). I own my role in choosing him (based on my childhood trauma), thanks to your teaching. I truly wish healing for him and all the others trapped in that emotional whirlpool. Keep doing what you're doing, Kenny, and all blessings to you for your ongoing journey. xx
To fight, to stand up for yourself is ask the divorce before you fight so hard that anyone dies.Go away and get separated before hard damages are caused.Don t postpone anything because of nice memories.See your reality without sunglasses and the hope that the other will change, after you have asked her or him to go together to the cuple s therapy and they don t accept this.
Leave and shake your sandals' dust from that place.Dust is the grace of what we learned through that relationship, taking full responsibility for ourselves.We decided to choose that situation and we muted the small inner whisper which told to us many times" Please don t, she or he is not the right for you".
12 traits of Narc women. KW, your accurate assessment of the behaviors of these toxic individuals is spot on. The script is always the same no matter what background you have. In my healing process I learned early that I had to concentrate on myself and why I let the abuse happen. In doing so, I realized that it started in my family with my father being a narcissist. It answered so many questions. I was unconscious for so long. Some scholars on the subject say that narcissists (even though there is no person inside, just a false self) help those that need to be awakened. Debatable, but something to think about.
Thank you for this. Im not a narcissist. I was wondering because of the constant criticism. Its crazy how they are so good at projecting and playing the victim. And it can be very confusing but after a while its all very predictable.
Your so right Kenny, i have learnt to see the pattern.
damn brother I'm sorry you went through so much pain. i know most commenters talk about their OWN situation, but i really am sad for all that you had to live through. you're doing a great job dr!
Thank you for your kind words.
I actually agree with you, and can see in myself the need to take responsibility for certain things that i tend to get defensive about... I think it is very healthy to be able to admit when one has been wrong and its very refreshing actually to hear someone who is willing to do it (be tbey a man or a women)! I want to thank you for the video🙏 It is helping me confirm the reason that i have been feeling so horrible at work- I have not been able to put my finger on my boss's behavior, and have been leaving work every day feeling deflated, disturbed, and even depressed. It has been quite empowering and freeing, to figure out what is really happening! For three months i have been allowing this womans behavior towards me to take a toll on my sense of self... What worries me, is that while I now know the truth about this dynamic, my coworkers may not. Im a little concerned about how she could try to undermine or hurt me at this job... any suggestions? Thanks again🌼
Wow ! Everything true. I'm going through all this.. Thank you very much for your information..
You are so welcome
I really appreciate your continual focus on personal responsibility in choosing the person we did...
Many sites and podcasts very rarely do that! and highlight the victim status continually.
I have greatly appreciated that in my ongoing growth and learning process...
Wow, every trait, well explained. My Narcissist has all but one, sorta, that is, materialistic! But she will not work, and the money she asked for, she never has nothing to show for it and she just takes off without saying where she's going, when she'll be back or who she's going to see!
Amazing video, you are saying basically everything that I've gone through in multiple relationships! You speak the truth that we cannot, we appreciate you!
You are so welcome
Thank you for sharing sir, it will help who go through this, only they can understand the pain of it.,
+1 👍 for getting straight to the point...
Yep! That’s her 100%! Great video Kenny. All of TH-cam needs to hear this- 😉🔥.
Could you make a video on how one can guard against narcissists and discern narcissists and evil people I need this!! We need this definitely!
I have added. Often forget things and disorganized. Shamed constantly and told I should take medicine etc to change. Funny I owned a business for 40 years with thousands of clients that don't seem to have a problem with me .
You're right..........the trend beginning about the time of All in the Family, the husband or father is nearly always clueless, a lout, a boor, a buffoon.
The man in this video spoke nothing BUT FACTS !
This subject was the heart of my thesis
I’m a woman and I’m glad your posting these videos.
Excellent video. Sadly this video describes my former male spouse to a t. I do agree that men need more support when being abused. Many npd persons marry another cluster b - typically bdp who will act out. There is also reactive abuse. I disagree that women cannot apologize, although I understand your perspective because I have seen it many times in counseling office. A healthy person - male or female will apologize when they are wrong and have no true intention of causing harm. Thanks for sharing your story, adds so much value. Agreed that we have truly created a society that silences, devalues, and disrespects men yet - men truly are proven to be more likely to be abusive and dangerous to women. Men you are valued, respected, and appreciated! All - keep doing the self-work! We elevate society when we work on how we show up in it.
Absolutely Correct it's a serious matter.
Kenny, i watch Videos about Narcissism since i broke up with my narcissistic Ex almost 7 years ago, but this was the most on point description of her i ever saw. Wish i found you earlier.
Wise man, if you are as compassionate as it seems, promise, you are kept.(unless you are a landlord or other sucker.)
Thank sir, i am recovering 9years in this maelstrom...
🐉🌹🐍
This is true. It goes both ways . Men and women can be narcissistic. I think some responded with offense because it's not heard through the lens of extreme situations. For example, withholding sex and not "feeling like it", whatever the reason are different so long as it's not treating it as your terms only and also explaining why. Before I found my voice due to my trauma, I didn't realize that was abusive behavior later through my healing process.
Thank you Kenny for the wealth of information! Very informative.
Variation on #3, she stirs the $#1t between your family members and picks whatever side puts you in a bad light.
@KennyWeiss Thank you for your videos I just discovered yesterday. Even though I am a woman who lived through domestic violence done by men, I also had several female friends who I had to cut from my life for their narcissistic abuse, belittling towards me. I still have more “ trimming “ to do. The sad part is that narcissism is prevalent in women .
You’ve mentioned laughing at us when we’re in pain.That was a “ bingo” moment for my realization of their cruelty , to be validated in my observation. In addition , whenever I was sick or in pain , they had to come and say they are sick and they are more on pain.
One of these mean narcs I cut of from my life almost 2 yrs ago they are still trusting to triangulate my daughter in this. The narc recently texted my daughter :” O miss your mom’s craziness! Tell her that life is too short and she should get over it and restart out friendship!”
I could not stop laughing 😂
You also mentioned the “ emotional supply” - and yes! I was a prime supplier of that because I am ,by nature , expressing my emotions with laughter, « joie de vivre « and compassion .
Thank you for your sharing your experiences with us🙏🏻🙏🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
"we are not dealing with that topic", I agree !
I give everyone the same advice, male and female. Leave. Get out of relationships. Be self-sufficient. People resist because of all the perceived benefits, but each is weighing you down, not lifting you up. In time you realize, all relationships are based on power and you're either on top or not. On you're own, you're always on top. There's no other place to be.
This so on point
Thank you Kenny.
Women abusing Men is increasing more and more rapidly.
Across cultures n continents.
Soo grateful to come across this video.
Really appreciate it n very helpful indeed.
Just wish i came across it sooner.
Thanks
To add to your comments regarding her using your pain against you and needing to be in MORE PAIN than you are. How about that tactic where she gets hostile if you WON'T share your troubles with her and then when you do, she plays the competition game where "you don't have it as bad as I do" and at some later date she uses your "SHARE" against you to belittle or criticize you?
Thank you for this. They are all around us. There is an epidemic here in the UK of women who go for a night out, get very drunk, "feel men up" touch men or molest them (this is a sexual and punishable crime by law by the way) become very agressive, can become violent and extremely obnoxious when challenged, or just spoken to in general, and as you say here Sir, it is being swept under the carpet, and is not being talked obout by the media or wider public. I would encourage anyone to film such behaviour (if it safe to do so) and send it to the Police if further action is needed. As a foot note, the Guardian Newspaper did an article on a UK Club Bouncer who said he was subjected to this Female predatory behavior,most evenings at work, and he said not only was he disgusted with it, but also the lack of seriousness taken by people, indeed the comments regarding this article, was for many many Men to simply laugh it off or congratulate him for getting "female attention" A lot of women laughed it off too, but it gets serious attention if it is the other way around. We live in a Society that is crumbling morally, and that is contradictory at the very least.
How about the Narcissistic woman who is married and goes after another man to fill her desires? She treats her husband terribly and he's a good man and works hard and provides so much. It's never enough!
You nailed it 100%
You just helped me realize I’ve dated 2 narcissists and one with Tendencies
Thinking about how to prevent the argument from continuing becomes crisis management for them.
Vastly under reported by men because it's shame based. They use your man up and don't complain male characteristics against you. Now it's time to man up and tell her to go. Great video.
Wow! Thank You for sharing, So sorry about what happen to you! 😢 Amen
Great work. Great info and great way to explain all the dinamic of a narcissistic behavior
Glad you liked it!
You summarize well 12 traits of female narcissists. I totally agree with you. Through learning narcissistic humans, we can live peacefully .
I’m imperfect 🙋🏻♀️
Spot on!
I am glad that I could hold out longer than my last 2 exes for sex than them. I've been single since 2007, and they can do their worst, and it just reinforces my decision to remain single. Live is better without toxic drama.
Exactly right, my narcissistic ex wife tried withholding sex at one point. I don't know what she imagined my life was like before I met her but I was pretty used to that already.
Eventually she realized I could hold out a lot longer than she could and she'd start asking, which meant I actually got to turn her down. She was incredibly lazy and selfish with all of that stuff too, so it also saved a lot of effort on my part.
@@dillchives life is better without someone holding you back. I wish you a good new year.
Take care.
@@paulforester6996 Thanks, you too! I'm learning every day to not only help understand my experiences and how I got here, but also to learn the things I didn't know to look for before. I feel like we're all better off knowing how to recognize and remove these people from our lives. Good luck to you as well!
So true..hardly anyone talks about its equal gender proportion in abuse
This sort of behavior brings me to tears.
Nailed it ❤
100% correct i even found a tracker in my bag from her
My son is living with one he is a broken man she has 9 of these traits the other night I witnessed the worse mental abuse on my son I feel for his safety I cannot convince him his mental health won't improve untill he leaves he said he only stays for his 16year old son but his other son 23 has joined in with her it breaks my heart as a mum to know this is going on
I dated a borderline personality disorder/narcissist. Special kind of hell. Ill never trust woman again, regardless.
Just saw a commercial where a guy thinks it’s expensive to maintain certain car make. A woman argues that it isn’t. The man then isn’t sure if a carton of milk is still good. She says not to listen to him about his opinion about the car because of it. Very insulting and emasculating, yet it’s excepted.
You are 100% right about how men are portrayed in advertisements and sitcoms.
It makes me ill.... and it's far from true.
I am female and this trend sickens me. It’s demeaning to see men portrayed as weak or stupid. Funny fact: I’ve rarely had issues in the workplace with men. The worst snakes are women
Sir Totally agree and I am a woman! Hallelujah Amen 🙏 ❤
Thanks for your *BRAVERY* in posting this video. 👍 STRENGTH is the ability to stand up and speak the TRUTH. It’s a little ironic that “gaslighting” is attributed to the male character in the play where the female victim is gaslighted, because it’s actually women who are the experts at this.
16:02 Holy cow, when I made the first comment, I hadn’t even watched the video the whole way through yet. MAN, you are *POWERFUL.* This is TRUE male empowerment. 👍
Instead of ever just saying sorry it’s up to you to deal with it accordingly.
An apology is extending the olive branch or an excuse or because I did something
Wow, this is sooooooo true
I’ve witnessed many of my straight buddies get pummeled emotionally by petite women. Straight romance is in crisis.
THIS WAS ME!!!
BEWARE THE DISNEY PRINCESS IN HER LATE 20’s AND IN HER 30’s!!! 😂🤣😝
Wow what this guy went through
We’ll done Kenny Weiss! Absolutely the best provocative insight and summation! 100 % on board. I encourage all “perfectly imperfects” as myself to routinely return and review on daily basis. Good will and Good luck… thank you again Kenny Weiss
I too, am finding value in this content-- however, I've only just happened upon this channel ... I have to say he's straight up well-spoken knowledgeable and speaks truth (as many others do as well...) But I've noticed that he hasn't once babysat his audience - meaning, it doesn't follow everything he says up with some sort of justification or explanation... for the purpose of easing the misunderstanding of others. I wish people could just have a conversation and say what they mean and mean what they say as he is clearly and concisely doing. Once in a while for the purpose of clarity when you're talking about a sensitive issue (which, of course this topic is..) However (intelligent) knowledge is power-- and this is exactly that!
P.S. Did I catch that he was single.... lol! I'm sooo afraid to date-- thus, I'm kinda looking for someone just to have a conversation with - and I love intelligent speaking individuals who, too find value in a good conversation. (Aka the free flowing of information between two or more like-minded individuals! 💪🧠📚🙏💖) And I'm done with attempting to have a perfectly simple conversation with those who make my head spin!!! 😵💫 I have a new appreciation for childlike enthusiasm but not when it comes to conversations and, important stuff.. when important conversations are required .Although I do appreciate childlike enthusiasm - at any age.. I very much value being around grown ups... those who actually ARE grown up-- those who act like a grown-up; and those who also take pride and find value in BEHAVING like a grown-up.
Is anyone else feelin that, too? (Anyone.. Anyone? Bueller... Bueller?? [*teehee* 🤭] Sorry, my bad... I'm not trying to make light of a serious topic-- and thus, I know all too well.. emotional and mental havoc it can read on a person's. (As for my injecting little comic relief into the convo... ) Sorry, I couldn't resist! I just happened to have watched it the other night.. so, how could I?! 🤷🏻 (ref Ferris Bueller.. )
Thank you so much for be so honest
Absolutely 100 true from the Mother of one. These things are also true of a man who is a narcissist. I’m married to him.
Too true Kenny!
I am so sorry to hear you have been through that.Yes has to be called out both sides 🌺
much love, bro!
Narcissistic people are never in trouble like others. Let that sink in