Are They a Narcissist or Codependent?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ก.ค. 2024
- Are you able to distinguish between a narcissist and codependent? Did you know that many people confuse a sub-type of codependency with narcissism? I will clear that up for you today by showing how they are similar, but they also have 3 main differences. This is important because you can save a relationship with a codependent but not a narcissist.
Join us on the Heal The Hurt podcast to learn the crucial differences between the two.
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Hi, I'm Kenny, a Coach, TH-camr, Podcaster, and Author in Phoenix, Arizona. I make videos about the strategies and tools to help you heal from emotional hurt to elevate your life. I'm an advocate for truth and healing.
I also have a weekly podcast called Heal The Hurt (geni.us/healthehurt). I also write a weekly email newsletter with tips and resources to break free from self-destructing behaviors and learn to love yourself and live your best life to feel powerful through empowerment.
Codependency and vulnerable narcissism often go hand in hand. And narcissists are addicted...to narcissistic supply. When narcissists are not addicted, they are not narcissists! They fall more on the sociopathy/psychopathy spectrum.
I was mislabeled as a narcissist when going through a mental health crisis in my late 20s. I was high on amphetamines when the attending psychiatrist diagnosed me. Once I stopped taking speed and getting hammered I was able to start recovery work and another psychiatrist reversed the diagnosis. The label really hurt, however. My therapist back in those days informed me that the fact that the label caused me to wonder about my effect on the other people in my life, and that considering the notion that I may be hurting them and not seeing it, was painful to me, proved that I was not a narcissist but something else. I see that now, 25 years later. Thank you. I was always very careful after that label was applied to me because when I investigated narcissism proper it seemed like a real NPD is a monster. I don't think I'm a monster. I can love, I can have empathy . . . just not perfectly all of the time. In fact, my inability to regulate empathy - and have porous boundaries - caused many more problems for me than the times I was hard and grandiose. Thanks for these videos. Learning about codependency is of paramount importance. How come most shrinks don't talk about it? I quit going to my therapist a long time ago because talking about myself all the time was getting frustrating, and seemed unproductive : I wanted to change, and it wasn't - isn't - happening. Maybe knowing about codependency is what I needed all along. This is the first time I have heard of it.
This was very enlightening. Thanks so much. At 81 years old, I’m finally understanding.
Glad it was helpful!
I think empathy is another distinction from what I have seen ! I believe co dependents feels empathy where narcs do not. I am a psych nurse and have worked with these people. I understand there could be co defendants that may have a lack of empathy. However, I think there is a little more grey area there than understood. Just my thoughts !
I think learning the difference between emotional empathy and cognitive empathy helps makes that distinction
I swear this is me. I feel like I can be SO narcissistic but I’m aware of all my mistakes and deep down all I want to do is help others. I am an addict in many ways but cycle through each one. I am in therapy and am finally getting help for myself.
I can relate to that. Sometimes I feared, maybe I'm a narcissist. I also want to help others
Yes!
I don't have pets at the moment. I just want to say that a narcissist will try to isolate you from any emotional connections you have, other than themselves, and this includes pets. They may try to find a reason to get you to get rid of your pets, or they may harm them in order to hurt you.
I think we must be very careful of people who give ultimatums: choose between your pets and me. This is a classic control maneuver. I just wanted to make people aware of this. That's all. Carry on.
I’ve experienced this thank you for sharing
I have struggled greatly in my past 2 relationships. I've been built up and torn down several times. I'm 42 and have had 2 long term and 1 short and have never spent more then a month or so being single. These videos have help me more then I can say. I am starting to understand that yes the behavior I have experienced was wrong but the behavior I gave in return was just as wrong. It is painful to come to this realization. Also grateful to be seeing there is a path to a healthy version of seeing things. I know it will be a long road but I am ready. Thanks for these videos.
I just wanted to add that in a world rampant with trauma and mental illness, sometimes with our pets is the safest place to find connection. Even if not a "true" connection, the safety gives it value and appeal.
People who won't have my GSD can't have me , no ands,ifs or buts about it. 😊
If I have to get rid of my animal for somebody then I’m not with the right person. The only exception is if my child has allergies then I would have to find a new home for my animal. But if a person comes into my life knowing that I have a cat or a dog and they’re allergic to them they need to tell me that upfront and not tell me later and then expect me to get rid of my animal friend! Animals are not objects either
I love that you have discovered what is negotiable and nonnegotiable for you and you know exactly how you would set your boundaries👏👏
@@kennyweiss Thanks! 😁
Kenny, you have eased my pain and concern for a loved one. I now understand that healing is possible. Hearing about your inner struggles was a lightning bolt of clarity. Thank you so much!
It’s really helped me to understand the difference between the two. I was in a relationship with a narcissist and it was very painful in more ways than one!
Excellent content! I’m a therapist and learn something new everyday. Well presented.
I would love to see you and Dr. Ramani do a video about Narcissism on MedCircle.
The DSMIV/DSM-V has different categories of Narcissism. You didn’t cover Covert Narcissism, which has a back door to demonstrate their traits. I understand though it’s not possible to read the entire section about the Diagnosis Narcissism in one video. It would take 3 videos to do a thorough overview of a Covert Narcissism.
I used to like Dr. Ramani but after a while began to realize she panders to her audience in a way that lets covert narcissists feel self-righteous. The friend who introduced me to her videos 5 years ago ended up being the biggest, most dangerous narcissist/psychopath I’ve ever met. Surviving Narcissism guy is another snake oil salesman.
On the opposite end of the spectrum Patrick Teahan and Ross Rosenberg are pretty solid and supplemented the therapy I was getting for several years. Ross Rosenberg especially, explaining “SLDD” as an alternative term for codependency was eye opening. So I’d recommend those two for co-op.
This was insane I really needed to listen to this. I am trying to heal after realizing I was dating a narcissist for 5 years every single point mentioned just hit too perfectly especially with how consistent it was no matter what. I wish I stumbled on this video sooner. I am realizing that I am a falsely empowered codependent. There is so much I want to understand about myself and for such a long time I was constantly being told that I'm insane and crazy. I tend disconnect, runaway pretend that everything is okay. I move towards vices wheather its pouring my attention into my games, drugs, pets and moving my intimacy away by removing sex when I felt vulnerable. I go through these phases where everything is great and then I go into these erratic periods where I just feel very self conscious and my anger and fear shows. I really recognize I have my moments and I do want to be better. I have a hard time reaching out for help but I am really wanting to heal. Thank you for sharing this.
You are very welcome and I appreciate your vulnerability. I would suggest watching the videos on my codependency playlist, picking a Pia Mellody’s book Facing codependence and also picking up my book your journey to success. All three will really help you
@@kennyweiss I will! Thank you for sharing your perspective and your knowledge.
@@omgitsvmp Of course. I’m happy to help 😁
Thank you for clarifying and confirming what I suspected this person in my family is a narc. I know i was codependent - it's how I was raised. and have worked on changing that for many years so my kids would benefit from my awareness.
Maybe my now deceased mom, was not a narcissist, but highly code pendants. She suffered a lot. She came to this world, not wanted during 2WW, her father, my grandfather, was a German soldier, that was part of the occupation in Denmark. Back then was horrible, because my grandmother had a child with "the enemy" back during the war. My grandmother passed her shame to my mom. That shame hurted me, and my 2 older sisters. My mom also gave me warm and love. Now I see it clearly after your video. Thank you Kenny, muck appreciate 🙏
I can relate to some of your family experience
Narcissistic mothers tend to be cruel to their daughter’s. There’s a video, which describes Why Narcissistic Mothers mistreat their daughter’s. My mom was a Narcissist. This video explained my father’s behavior. I may never be sure who they were.
I know my imperfections, pain I am responsible for because of my choices, which again is connected to childhood trauma experiences.
What’s important is that I have self awareness. I have the willingness to listen and modify my behavior. Most importantly, I can live in the present. I cannot change my past it’s gone. I can focus on the tools that I can learn to enable myself to have a quality life.
The best scientific fact is that our brains have neural plasticity, which means with the correct therapy, work, and consistency it’s possible to change my beliefs, and the way I react to situations.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. Thank you for educating us regarding this amazing topic.
You are very welcome
Great break down 😊
Im coodependent, I have learned to stop my mistakes that come from my feelings, sometimes it's stronger then myself and I immediately recognize the fault after it happens. Sometimes I feel so bad for hurting the other person.
Kenny, I’m so glad you’ve explained these two comparisons. I’ve been listening to you and others on podcast providing examples of narcissist personality types. But now when comparing the 2, I realize that my friend is a co-dependent person. My friend and I have been dating for 2+years, for a while I was being screamed on, yelled at, even down to the TV. I set boundaries stuck to them and we moved slowly by talking threw some of the issues. We argued, well he argued about politics but didn’t vote, he even admitted that he pushed me too far. He’s 72 years old and I’m 65 years old, and he’s a lawyer, diagnosed with Depression & anxiety disorder, but gets his treatments regularly. Because he’s lost so much because of his illnesses., After I listened to you explain it I believe he’s co-dependent. I’m being vigilant, there’s been no more yelling screaming or TV time, and this whole situation opened the door to more conversations that were met with acceptance. I feel more people should listen to your podcast on Co-dependency vs. Narcissist. And I’ll look & read other information you mentioned. Thanks for all the information.
It feels (to me) like I'm always entangled with true narcissists. I'm very much a falsely empowered codependent, but my dating record is pretty wicked
* I used to be a VERY unempowered codependant. And I think the fear is how weak, and pathetic that period in life looked. The grandiose persona comes from this "never ever again" personal statement
HEY! This is so helpful. I'm not sure where I fall in now but I'm still fascinated about all of it. I am INFJ, natural observer, my mom married a narcissist when I was 8 and the show from them that I've gotten throughout my 39 years...wow. Step dad tortured me at a young age and my heart was falling by age 19 and I don't know how much longer I have left... watching and listening to you brings me comfort. Thank you friend and God bless you. ❤
I like your self awareness and honesty. If only I knew people like that in real life… sigh
Wow, this gives me so much insight on what I thought was narcissistic behavior but never quite fit. Grew up with this as my parent and it's the puzzle peice I needed on my journey of understanding. Thank you so much for the in depth analysis. I also applaud your personal vulnerability. That is not an easy thing to do, especially on socials, and builds a level of trust and respect for you that typically takes me a long time to give out.
Thank you for the compliment and more importantly I’m glad this helped you find the missing puzzle pieces👌😁
It's called trauma bonding. Narcissists do it all the time. @@kennyweiss
These seriously is the best. I was so confused about how someone can exhibit so many characteristics of narcissism yet based on the years of research I have come to believe he's NOT a true narcissist and it was really confusing! I started to almost believe narcissism was simply an EXTREME form of codependency but THIS MAKES EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED ADD UP TO FINALLY MAKE SENSE! THANK YOU!
Mr Weiss, with Ramani Durvasula and Dr Les Carter, you have broken down narcissism and categories of co-dependency (falsely empowered Co-dependent) which has been eye opening, illuminating as well as thought provoking.
I can’t say it often enough, many thanks sir, for this poignant vid for us novices when it comes to psychological issues. 🙏🏿
You looked so sharp, professional and elegant! Thank you for your videos. And yes… you are not a narcissist!
Thank you for the clear information. Always doubting myself but this makes it more clear. I bought the P. Mellody book also 👍🏼👋🏼
This is probably the best video I’ve seen, describing the traits of the 3! It helps me look at myself and learn things about me so I can improve.
Glad it was helpful!
Much needed information about what narcissism isn’t…in an overly accusatory you tube environment.
What a fantastic explanation! Many thanks to you for this video and your others. Sooo many puzzle pieces are clicking together with each video that I watch.
This is the best video explaining the diffrences and removes a lot of the confusion..
Thank you.
This helps me with forgiveness of myself and my husband who left me when I became severely and chronically ill. These seriously is the best. I was so confused about how someone can exhibit so many characteristics of narcissism yet based on the years of research I have come to believe he's NOT a true narcissist and it was really confusing! I started to almost believe narcissism was simply an EXTREME form of codependency but THIS MAKES EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED ADD UP TO FINALLY MAKE SENSE! THANK YOU!
I was definitely co dependent with narcissistic ways
There’s several disorders that a lay person could mistake for Narcissism. For example Bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, ect… It is important to consult a psychiatrist. In the least get an experienced therapist to get a referral. There’s a couple factors that are consistent with Narcissism *lack of empathy, * lack of awareness, * entitlement.
Take note a narcissist does know about empathy otherwise they couldn’t manipulate us by using it. They chose not to be empathetic. They don’t get it. I think somehow they developed the belief; they don’t remember when that it protects them. Have you ever confronted a narcissist about who they are? They will get enraged. They will armor themselves and resist until they wear you down. Hopefully, you walk away. Maybe even leave and give them space for about 3-4 hours if you happen to live with one. As far as lack of awareness, my belief is that they don’t have a clue; especially, a covert narcissist. It’s too buried beneath their pain. That’s what I’ve observed. I don’t judge. I have empathy for my Covert Narcissist husband. Unfortunately, that’s why I’m stuck. I have no gain from him. He doesn’t contribute towards compassion, nor financially.
I pray for peace of mind away from him. I’d say we are roommates. I would not call him a friend because friends respect each other, he has no respect. In addition, people don’t mistreat friends. That’s what he does best, so does our daughter. There’s that cycle again.
The avoidance of reality vs not even being in touch.
Truly an underrated channel! This will stand the test of time. Sharing!
This was all very helpful. Thank you!
This video changed my entire view. Good information
You're so welcome
Nicely done, Kenny!
Thanks you so much for your effort. Yes, I am this type of codependent... In my relationship with my vulnerable narc wife I experienced that I can be that way - but it was always a choice and she did not had this choice... At some point I blamed her for what I am in some way - but the truth is that I was this all my life. That probably attracted her in many ways... At some point I thought I developed this behavior as response to her suppression - ending up as a cheap copy of her without knowing where it came from. There were many vague situations when I realized that I have this narc-lookalike traits... and lots of situations when I attracted other narcs - probably for being realized as the better narc with generous attitudes... thats bed and breakfast for a real narc and never-ending story to get lost. All the Best !
Great deep dive, thanks for clarifying this, definitely dealing with codependency. I will have to watch the other video.
Subscribed because you literally just explained everything I was confused about my ex. Thank you so much for sharing this valuable knowledge.
You’re so welcome. I’m really glad everything makes sense now
I completely agree. Much to contemplate. Thank you
Thank you sir for this clip. I was doubting about that, but my mom (who had a severe abusive childhood really bad) had empathy and care but treats that i can place better and with the love i think she still deserves. I had a hard time learning bounderies and self and realized many things this mainly by getting my daughter. But i also behave like a loony with my emotions. I'm sad that these corners of name stagnate a lot. They A't this false impowered first state and then go all dependent to much on daughters raised by single moms. That this type had that because of those moms. But i think they are probably also co dependent single parenthood gives the indication of less stable childhood themselves and so on. THANK YOU for putting these detailes and ibam gonna look her up!! Belgium
Thank you for this distinction! I've been thinking I had a covert narcissist in my life but with this info I think she is codependent. She definitely has those seasons you talk about. Friday I received a Facebook Message from her and today a letter in the mail. It was like they were written by 2 different people. Very jarring, but with your new info, it makes sense. She just had a change in season since mailing the letter. Thank you again! Keep up the great work!!!
Oh my goodness. Thank you. I am battling co-dependency and this helped me sooooooooo much!!!!
I'm so glad!
This is huge information! Thank you so much! Precious!
Really eye opening info. I never knew the difference and now it makes so much more sense. I thought I was with a narcissist and had to leave, now I know there is hope. Thank you for explaining in laymen's terms, really useful.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you so much for this. In the last few months I have done a lot of inner child work and thought my father was a narcissist but now it looks like false co dependent. He was neurotic , emotionally absent (still is but less ), drank a lot and traveled a lot for work growing up (so also physically absent). To this day he spends way more time on his iPad than his own wife (my mother) and or me when I visit. He is 71 years old. I don’t even know if it’s even worth bringing it up to him and pointing out these flaws. I struggle with wanting to heal our relationship / educating him on how much he impacted me by being this way. I’m leaning towards just accepting him the way he is because he is too old to change. So thank you for making me realize this has a name.
Wow. Thank you for your hard work and for this very well explained differentiation between Narcissism and Falsely Empowered Co-dependent. I was married for 20 years to what I now believe was a Falsely Empowered Co-D as there was a lot of addiction. I am grateful to be able to name it and learn about it as it was a very difficult twenty years. I craved intimacy but only could get it at an arms length. Obviously I am a co-dependent to have found myself in that ‘relationship’. I’ve been out ten years and still learning and trying to figure us all out and how to be better🙃 I will read Pia’s book. My daughter and son-in-law have also discovered your work. You’re reach seems to be far and wide. Keep going💪🏼! Thank you greatly!
Incredibly useful video, thank you!
This was an awesome fricken video thank uuu for sharing
Thank you for explaining so well
You’re welcome 😁
"But true connection is with a human being!" Thank you, people diappointed in people don't know what we people really are: The only being with freedom, the only being with an individual I/ spirit, the only being not specialized but unlimited and adaptable, which is difficult... He deserves our deepest interest, compassion, joy and care.
There should be an other word for the falsely-empowered women though: Real Co-dependency gives and helps others to the point of getting sick, depleted and even dying, with compassion and self-sacrifice ,- which your new falseley empowered woman doesn't . If I got you right?
I'm so glad I listened to you tonight Kenny. If you could see inside my brain right now 🥳😎😘
Thanks for the explanation/clarification. That explains a lot of what I have experienced with some guys. .including those I have met in self help or 12 step groups. I give them kudos for the awareness, however the behavior was very confusing for me. Professional help is always an asset, including yours truly.
Not baffled anymore.. .love your videos about getting out of the victim identity, very helpful and freeing.
Thank you
Lots of good information in this video. Thank you for taking the time to spread your knowledge with us Kenny.
You are very welcome. I’m glad it helped you.
I love your honesty and how you are truthful about yourself. I am feeling better about my husband, maybe her is not an N, but a CO instead. Thank you. We are in therapy, we'll see where it goes. I will look for Pia Mellody. Is she a person or therapy style?
Thank you for such a great explanation.
You’re welcome
One of the most important videos on the subject.
Hi Kenny, Before I continue to watch this video, you demonstrate self awareness. I think you are a recovering Codependent. You are working on rebalancing yourself.
I have believed writing is a great form of therapy. Along with verbalizing your thoughts. Thank you for sharing.
I find it increasingly difficult to handle the pain. I love my friend. Also I acknowledge I am over my head. I lack the physical and emotional strength to support him. ❤
Just feels like there is a spectrum of narcissism with full blown detachment and self importance at the top & awareness of ego at the bottom. Ego is a self identity we all have and seems to be part of the human experience for survival. Everyone has varying intensity’s of ego with complete non awareness of it being a narcissism and complete awareness of it being a functional human being. It seems the level of awareness is the determining factor.
Wow!! Thank you for this information, you have eased my anxiousness over this topic. Thank you thank you thank you for your transparency on this subject ❤
You are so welcome!
my opinion is narcissists have a passive (loving way) to disminishing you and have real pleasure out of it. codependent may have a passive way but no pleasure out of it or they feel remorse. I mean If you arent a narcissist you know what is accountable to take pleasure from and its not to diminish a narc because he will not feel anything other but fresh supply
😊you are awesome!❤
Thanks for the info.
I love the way you share
You are so welcome!
Very well explained. Enlightening.
Thank you I’m happy that it helped you
Sir, I salute you...
This is definitely one of the best videos...
Thank you for your efforts.
Love this video thank you for sharing !
Hey Kenny. I love your videos. I just started watching you a few weeks ago. Glad to see you thriving and you are helping others be aware. Thank you. ❤
Welcome aboard!
@@kennyweiss and thank you for making me more aware.
First time listening and you make a lot a lot of sense. I already understand myself better in a way that I couldn’t put my finger on before. I’m an alcoholic almost two years sober and in AA. I’m separated with two small children and their mom is a covert narcissist without addiction besides herself.
Your videos saved my relationship
Truelly I like your transparency a lot.
Thank you for being the way you are. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thank you so much for sharing!
You are so welcome!
My mother has all of them. Now I think my father is codependent and hers first victim .
Anyway, to be distant to them both is a very good therapy. Most of all, emotional distance.
This explains a lot!
So good!
Always working on balance. You're doing good.
Always!
So greatfull that I found you! The way you talk, completely understand and retain your Information and feel that you are talking to me one-on-one.
Definitely pointed out blind spots (character flaws) and the emotional, mental and spiritual areas that must have evolution - thank you much Mr. Weiss😇 ( Weiss ~ isn't the grammer rule: i before e, except after c? weird?😉)
Thank you Denel 😁
Thank you so much for this video. I'm in a long-term relationship that is having some really hard times right now. And my boyfriend just labeled himself a narcissist and I told him you are a narcissist but you're not like the bad type of narcissist. And I didn't really know what I was saying and he didn't really know what I meant. Now I know what I meant. Thank you so much for this. I really hope this information can help my relationship but even if it doesn't it has helped me understand the difference and help me understand that I myself am codependent
You are so welcome and yes many people are confusing narcissism with codependence. I hope you had over to my codependence playlist? I have a bunch of videos that can really help you and if you decide you want to learn the skills and tools to heal the codependence I have an online program that’s only $47 a month and it’s incredibly powerful. If you’re interested I can tell you more about it
@@kennyweiss I'm actually currently watching them. I really want to save my relationship and I know he does too and we are just so lost and we don't know what to do. But we know we both love each other very much. I'm watching your videos and I'm feeling pretty crappy about myself because I'm pretty good about admitting that I'm wrong but I just didn't realize how wrong I was. But on the same note I'm realizing he's on the same boat. I'm sharing all the videos with him and he promised me that he will watch them whenever he gets home from work. He says that he really wants to make this work and that he's willing to do whatever he needs to to get healthy regardless if that's with or without me. I've been trying to push him to go to therapy for a while because I told him I can't be his therapist because I'm not perfect and I don't have the answers. Sorry for the long rant. But yes I am going to take the time to watch all of your videos on this because it relates and resonates a lot with my relationship
Look up covert narcissist. It might be what you're experiencing. Idk.
More people need to see this
This has answered a lingering question :D
I am a high empath and you have helped me to learn much about myself. I like Wise did not think that I needed help coping, but I am beginning to see that I
Probably need counseling.
New subscriber wow you are amazing love the way you explained it out I'm excited to watch your videos
Thank you happy they are helped you and welcome
This just explained so much. I have a sibling that is like the highly addictive codependent. This explained so freaking much. Thank you. I am watching more of your videos.
You’re welcome I’m really happy it brought some clarity to you. I hope you subscribe and if you need tools to heal, remember I have a book and I also have master classes in the main one is free. All of that information can be found in the description on all of my videos if you feel those will help you😁
Thank you, it helped me to understand what is the person I have met. I was wondering and you have helped me a lot.
My husband has all of them. One thing i dont understand is why he can't appologise when he do me wrong? He "never do wrong "
Mine too. You’re not alone. It makes me so angry!!
Look into object constancy. They can't see anyone as good with bad behaviors, or bad with good behaviors - they see people as all bad or all good. As narcissism is a shame based disorder, it would completely break them to admit any wrongdoing because they would see themselves as all bad because they lack the capacity for object constancy. Since their ego is so fragile, this would cause a narcissistic collapse due to the overwhelming shame they would feel, so they project their wrongdoing onto others to, in a sense, "deal with it."
So in this case, that your husband never admits he was wrong I guess he is a narcissist?
@@bubito everyone has narcissistic traits, so he may not be if he is just stubborn/won't take accountability for faults. And, he cannot technically be called one if he has not been diagnosed. However, if many of the behaviors are present I would think it's safe to say that he's high on the spectrum of narcissism whether diagnosed or not.
Love the way you get it across.
God bless you.
Thank you! You too!
@@kennyweiss
Blush, blush. 😊
I see you, you see me, we see stars seeing it...
God bless you.
You're work is excellent. 👍
everyone's a "narcissist" these days... it's all the rage.
If you take the time to study people it's crazy how many display narcissistic traits I think it's hyper individualistic societies too and so many families have an everyone out for themselves attitude
Narcissism is on the rise; it has to do with parenting today.
The internet hasn’t helped at all! Lol!
The Bible says it all. In the end times people be lovers of themselves, prideful, we're living in the end times people love themselves and they're very narcissistic.
A society that values individualism and detachment ? With a pinch of finding value in yourself either through your assets or how you’re about to birth and take care of people . No way. That makes no sense .
I thankyou so much for this video ❤
You are so welcome!
interesting, thank you
Yes, admittedly addictions are definitely prevalent. Addiction to animals is my current addiction. My horses have (unintentionally)broken my fingers, toes and ribs. But, they will never break my heart. Animals have unconditional love even if it’s based on the fact that you feed them. People these days are generally, disconnected, unreliable and unfaithful. It’s tragic.
When you said animals exploded I thought of that band Atomic Kitten hahahahaha
I'm gonna share this with a positive message ofcourse 😁👍💯
Wow, this video has just changed everything for me! Thank you so much for this information. I feel a lot less confused now and so many gaps have been filled for my situation! My question is, how does this codependency effect the other person in the relationship? Could it look like an emotionally abusive relationship, where the FECD puts down the other person with the intention of feeling better about themselves, rather than the control that a narcissist seeks? And how would that effect the other person in the relationship, over time, if nothing changes?
I think as humans we all have narcissistic tendencies (myself included) and some level of narcissism is much needed for people to take us seriously and hear wtf we're saying. If you come to a surgeon you want them to be confident in their skill, even if it comes off as arrogant or cocky. I feel like a level of bravado is a much necessary persona in the current social climate.
A codependent IS TO narcissism AS pre-diabetes IS TO full blown diabetes. Minus the addiction.
16:14 Wow, now It becomes clear why the highly reactive codependent in my life acts so inconsistently. The self awareness of unfairness and inability to reconcile own inner conflict leads to own dis-regulation of emotions.
There are lulls between the flare ups. Communication attempts always fail then. Tantrum, fault-finding, provocative retorts and escalation always follows the triggering words or event. Climaxing in the codependent shouting, storming out, and complete shutdown. That's the cycle.
Working on myself to keep from losing self confidence and falling into trap of sharing fault is half the battle won. Exerting will power over rumination helps keep my head clear.
And forget compromising, that's a foreign language the codependent has yet to master. And the other half of the battle is reaching out to connect without letting down my own boundaries.
Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
From the video, it sounds like a narcissist is a 100% falsely empowered codependent. And that the DSM requires the 100% for a diagnosis of narcissism.
But what good is it if you are dealing with a 98% falsely empowered codependent (or other cluster B disorder)? The likelihood that such an individual will ever do the work and introspection to change is extremely low.
OMG! ❤ I really learn so much by watching your videos! Could both my husband and I be codepenant?? The image of the desert was clearifying part those two. We both have been married to a narcissist. Its been difficult for me at times when I have felt and belived that my current husband is a narcissist because of his harsh laguage and a lot of sacasm at times, but he asks for forgivness! I’ve been looking at myself at times as a victim and yes, as an angelic empath😂( you’ve changed that wiew for me, Thank God!) But you know, I’m more of a feeling type and not so afraid to show vunarability. After 12 years, We comunicate better, but its hard to cope with the blaming and critisism and sarcasm🙈 Is it possible to work through this??Big hug from Norway❤🤗
It’s been my life experience that all of us are codependent