@@arturodiaz1063 yes they do they just suppress it. Horrible way to live. They hate themselves. I should know I used to be a narcissist. I hated myself but only I and God knew. So I called on Jesus name and He saved me from myself.
Interesting. The last real conversation I had with my mother, I actually told her she was dead. I now see she is just dead to me. "Let the dead bury the dead." I wish I knew who she was before she killed me.
@@SovereignDirt Wow. The way I look at it now is that I will not give anyone the right to hurt me. And so I don’t get hurt, It is so liberating to live this way.
@@nachis3 I've been that way since my divorce in '09. I found that I don't want to live closed off. So when I meet people I look for a reciprocal willingness to be vulnerable. If you don't show it, I don't trust you at all. If you atleast try, I'll be friendly. I don't want to quit giving the benefit of the doubt because I wouldn't/don't want others to do that to me.
I saw a good quote - “narcissistic abuse doesn’t break your heart, it breaks your spirit” - this really puts things in perspective, it’s your entire existence that is on the line
No my friend... there’s days when u feel like this , trust me I know... especially living w/a narcissist... *BUT on the days THEY TRY to make u feel like this~ Just remember ... “IT WON’T BREAK YOUR SPIRIT ~ IF YOU DO NOT LET IT” and... keep smiling cause it really pisses them off ;)
In my case, I gave everything to what I believed was a solid relationship, only to be nuclear SLAMMED by the narc in every possible way... They tried to break me... Only they broke themselves instead. My soul is not a target, but they thought it was. Their continued rage & stalking now is the result of their own grossly miscalculated assertions about me...they can't believe they _failed!!!_ My soul was seeking a true bond with another, when all along that which I sought outside myself was deep within me. I took back my power & will be much more discerning before I allow it to be extended to another, if ever again.💜
@@vitos.r.5112 No. They are spiritually demented, tortured souls forced to face their own short-comings full frontal, and they can't...so they target what they desire from you, claim it as their own, all the while shredding you for it!!! By the time you realize what's really going on, they've gone behind your back, setting you up for multiple public "stabbings" aimed at destroying you & elevating themselves above you... You become the punching bag they empty their own self-loathing on. Your LESSON is to force their karma right back onto them WITHOUT getting sucked into their manipulative games... They weaponize your insecurities against you, the primary being ***YOUR ADDICTION TO APPROVAL!!!*** BREAK YOUR ADDICTION & THE NARC INSTANTLY BECOMES POWERLESS... FORCED TO FACE THEIR OWN INNER DARKNESS WITH NO ONE TO BLAME BUT THEMSELVES... & I WALKED AWAY IN PEACE WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH: ***NO ONE & NOTHING IS WORTH LOOSING YOUR HONOR, INTEGRITY, SELF ESTEEM OVER... NO ONE.***
I mourned the deaths of my family members who betrayed me, now they don't exist in my world. Its been years and it still stings. They aren't dead just dead to me
Sometimes the betrayal helps you finally discover who you are. Some of us never developed a sense of self if you are surrounded by narcs who always betray you. Getting away from them heals you to discover who you are, becoming the person you were born to be if not for those soul sucking vampires
Gloria iam only deciding at this second after reading ur comment that I have made my own wounds. I may have pronounced another but being such a kind or empathetic type as a person I took that root. That root is done. I only have well what ever Jesus wants time left but nomore Mister nice guy which means no more giving and giving until u feel like ur a lover. I tried to keep changing the word lover to a lover just like this again hang on. LOSER there but Lover kept coming up so there it is God says iam a Lover not a Well we no the word now. Wow that couldn't be amazing unless it was to me.
@@dorothykitzinger4094 You did not choose for the narc to choose hate instead of love,but if you stay you are bringing more and deeper wounds on yourself as you do now know what you are dealing with,God bless dear one.
Betrayal is the death of trust and innocence. After realizing that all my friendships were toxic, many of them spanning from childhood, I realized I no longer wanted to contribute to the toxicity. Now I’m without friends but not missing my old friends at all. In fact, I feel free now. I am being myself again after decades of ruminating in unhealthy patterns. I may or may not make new friends in the future. For now, I’m enjoying learning how to be myself.
The day the lights went on while in deep conversation with my bestie was so shocking to my spirit. The last safest place I had was within this relationship and it was all a lie on her part and I literally felt that sickening punch in the gut, like the walls and floor were crushing me. Betrayal is cruel
I have lost my Father. My Sister. My Brother... Nothing I thought could ever hurt so much.. The loss of myself to someone who has nearly destroyed me is incomprehensible 💔
Yes betrayal is what I wrestled with for my whole life. I never betrayed anyone EVER. in those ways at least. The kinds of betrayals that crush your soul.
Maybe not in 'those way,' BUT you betrayed yourself by staying with an abuser. Thats the first step of radical personal honesty. It has nothing to do with them. No one can crush your soul, unless it is already crushed. Only you can free yourself and revive your soul.
Whenever we turn our back to God or anyone for that matter. The very act itself is betrayal is rejection is abandonment is psychological abuse is violation is degradation is devaluing is unloving! And is a most unfortunate circumstance.
I agree because I was abandoned by my Narcissist husband who left me with a new baby and child, cold. He cheated and ran away with his girlfriend. That was 8 years ago. He was my best friend in high School and we really loved each other before we got married and married 5 years and with him 10 years before we had kids. He couldn't handle having kids. It wasn't planned. Satan took over him. He was an alcoholic abusive Narcissist. He quit drinking last year after his girlfriend left him because he hasn't divorced me. He isn't nicer. Still the same Asshole. I've always felt this hurts more than if he died. But nobody gives you sympathy unless they die. I don't look for sympathy. I get tired of people looking like something is wrong with me for being a single mom when I have had so much Strength to endure all this pain and instead I get judged because women are blamed for everything. I'm not on drugs or alcohol or pills. No credit for that. Just judged. We can't win as women. Yes I tried another Relationship with a Fake Christian and it was WORSE! He was a closet gay covert Narcissist! I'm so tired of toxic people I have no desire to be in a relationship again! Happy being single! INFJ!
True. Betrayed by a man I opened my heart to. Got treated like nothing, lied to, blamed for things that were not true, blocked and taunted on social media. This was his response to me offering love to him. I was shocked by his cruelty. I felt like he threw me away and stomped on me afterwards. It's like the great person he seemed to be died and he changed into an evil version of himself.
And when they say let that go and move with your life. It's easy for them to say. The wounds those people create when they discard you is immense. Thank you for your video.
For me was the most horrible thing, that I could not even trust myself anymore after betrayal and smere campaign. I left my country , my profession and family. Thank you, dear Kevin for this dicrimination.
My entire family betrayed me..it's devastating. .still in shock...but in recovery. .this is true warriorship and walking in the light.we are stronger than we ever thought possible! ..carrying that torch to a new life..wonderful truth and wisdom brother. Deep gratitude....love you .. 💜
"We need to be pushed out of a toxic relationship into this place of isolation so that we can connect with our inner truth, our inner authenticity, with who we are as individuals."--Perfect. Thanks.
@@dorothykitzinger4094 the royal we videos and other narcissist abuse channels have already helped me figure some things out and helped me connect the dots of a very confusing upbringing.
You are right about death of parents compared to betrayed. The person that suppose to have your back sticks a knife in it feels way worse and last longer ,especially when they ask you to have faith in them. Narcs have no problem with this, they can turn into a snake at anytime and sucker punch you leaving you feel like a horses a$$.
Matthew 19:29 " And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." This is what has gotten me through. I need a do-over with a different family.
I'Ve had betrayal from all angles-father/mother/sibling/ex-narc/son-you've got to become-your own best friend-search your truth-depend on no one-you are lone wolfe-study the holy scriptures& the big boss will give you the stregth.
Where there is Love, betrayal can not exist. If you chose to be responsible to do your deep work, if you do everything it takes to learn to love and live in love, there is no lingering betrayal. If you are haunted by betrayal its because you like it. You like to hate it. You're comfortable being uncomfortable, you cant admit defeat and you likely don't have the radical self honesty it takes to get free. 😅🙀👊🏼✌🏽
@@sospita_ I would not say that there is no love there, but rather that there is no high consciousness about not everybody being at the same level of consciousness . People who are not connected with themselves ( and others )sometimes seek desperately their connection, and happiness in all the wrong ways posible and hurt us. They are not happy with themselves and we can't expect them to make us happy. Happy people don t hurt others.
@@sospita_ They use your love to get what they want and when you have none left to give and need some back... you find you were never getting any at all.
I lost four loved ones while married to my narcissist. 😔 I felt so alone. Then I “lost” my narcissist, as in he discarded me... and this time I made sure it was final, for me. It was so hard until I understood what narcissism is.
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry for you loss and the pain you feel from the narcissist. The same situation, Lost my mom, my broyher, had a miscarriage all within the last 2 years. Narcissist was abusive to me the whole time
@@rosierb852 I’m so sorry to hear that. I hate how when your world is falling apart, all you can focus on is why they don’t love you. I’m in a better place but his covert tactics still hurt. 13 years and he showed zero emotion when we split. He took up mountain biking.
I needed to hear that Thank You ! Thank You Lord ! I experienced that betrayal , in foster care , and in my marraige , and my ex,s family . We are not of this world , though were in it . We are part of God's family .
Thank You For Sharing It Took Me 7 Yrs To Realize I Was Being Used By A Narcissistic Person. I Was In Love With Him Everything To Him Was All About Using Me Then After Using Me Throwing Me Away Like Trash. The Betrayal Was Horrible..I Lost Myself And My Self Worth. I Thank God That I’m Getting Help Through A Life Coach * Kevin Thank You For Sharing Ur. Videos I Have Finally Decided To Let Go Blocking This Person. Narcissistic Abuse Is The Worse Form Of Abuse EverTo Overcome..
EXACTLY! U are so on point about this. I think the reason why it took me years to heal and I still have the scars on my soul was because I received this abuse from people that I genuinely loved and was real with that were supposed to love me back. The knife in the back hurts but it hurts worse when u turn around and see who is holding it. IT WAS SUCH A HURTFUL THING! because I felt like im losing my love interest, friend or family member over basically nothing. I knew I didnt do anything to deserve that vitriol, abuse and bettayel. All I was was loving, kind, well meaning and had everyones best interest at heart and because im climbing the ladder of success or my love interest or friend doesnt like the fact that they dont feel like the star of the show when im around they treat me as an enemy I am not. It was UNBELIEVABLE!!! Then you are hurt dazed and confused because u dont have the education about npd while u are going thru it and the cognitive dissonance kicks in. Why is my “friend” smiling in my face but doing things worse than an enemy to me actively spreading lies about me and trying to sabotage me??? Why is my love interest trying to devalue me and insult me and withholding affection from me??? I dont deserve this I have been nothing but kind, loving and respectful to her. Why is my love interest doing things to me an enemy would? Why is my family member doing things worse than my enemy??? U are so right about it I was GENUINELY HURT because these were all people I genuinely loved and had their best interest and had been nothing but kind to to realize I was that HATED!!! and had done not one thing that was deserving of it it hurt really really really bad. smh
Im at this stage, discovering my interests, Painting, reading, learning more and more about these entities so I don't get caught up emotionally ever again. It really pushed me to discover my authentic self after childhood narc abuse then tripping right into this abuse as an adult. I'm so thankful for your help ❤️🙏
All my life i've been experiencing betrayal since the age of 3 until now , my closest ones did ,and do that and the followings came after ,every where and every one i trusted ,in the end got damaged ,felt remorse ,my famliy under the leadership of my mom stabbed be in the back years ago ,my sister(s) who were and are jealous of me.love,trust ,family ,relative,friend ,marriage all have lost their meanings to me ,only God who is other existance than all this mess,heaven have meaning to me ,i hate them all.
Hey Miss.... From my perpective and understanding in life we should love one another in order for us to excel or prosper in this dunya and hereafter... Narcs are wicked , delusional, toxic, vulgar, manipulative, and destructive we should love each and every loving soul on this universe but gotta love them from a distance because don't know exactly what they're doing behind close or behind the scene etc..... I wish you and all the in life .. Trust i have been there before ..... May allah protect is from wicked and toxic folks in this dunya Ameen......
Thank you..I needed to hear this. I've lost suddenly my love one as well being betrayed by someone I thought he loved me truly and was unique amazing love.I guess God showed me by this betrayal this relationship was not His will. Still extremely sad😪
100% ... It is Hell .. Processing.... takes time, it hurts. it takes time when it is your kids and family, all against one... Letting go, 6 months ... Pain, now acceptance, and rollercoaster... knowing and seeing it all... Proccessing it .... Thanks for your vids ... Peace !
It is one thing to mourn family when they pass away; it is a whole other thing & level of mourning to mourn an entire family who is alive. Betrayal is death of trust & everything you thought you knew to be true. Thank God for healing & being able to really see that the perceived ”loss” pales in comparison to what you gain.
The description of betrayal that you just read describes how I feel now. I don’t want to love and I don’t want to be loved by anyone, I just want to be left alone. It’s the only way that I feel somewhat safe.
So true! I lost my grandmother recently, someone I dearly loved and to who I was close. Grieving for her hasn't been nearly as painful as the grieving I've had to do for some narcissists who are still alive.
Your betrayal is exactly like mine. My ex left me and him and his tribal family tried to cut me down in the most hurtful way they knew how. My motherhood. My faith. My autonomous thoughts and way I wanted to live my life.
The narc husband betrayed me with those closest to me. These women pretended to be my friends and all the while they were sleeping with him. He has already discarded one baby mama and has moved in with another one. Their betrayal is soul crushingly painful but it also made me realise that being a people pleaser left me with no boundaries. I use to trust everyone as I always thought that most people are good, kind and trustworthy.
When my mother died in 2015, I didn't think there could be anything more painful than the loss of your parent (other than losing a child ) but there sure was. A short time later I experienced betrayal from my spouse. The description of betrayal and the impact it has on a person is right where I at this very moment. Today is my 40th wedding anniversary. My husband sued me for divorce in September. Trying to dicard me first I guess. So yes, having experienced both, I agree betrayal is much harder and more difficult to process. I'm glad I watched the video this morning.
Kevin you hit the nail. I couldn’t keep it together while making Mac and cheese on thanksgiving. My oldest son used to devour my my Mac and cheese. His father was so jealous of our relationship that he finally succeeded in destroying us. I no longer speak to my son...he is narcissistic and believes his father’s lies. I can’t stop crying and he is 20yrs old. Thank you Mo
Please think about writing to your son explaining that you love him for himself and that you miss him. Tell him that your door will be forever open to him and that you keep a place for him in your heart. Don’t even mention his Dad your son will find out soon enough when his father reveals his malice, his nastiness, his lies his real self. Then turn that love upon yourself and give yourself lovely thoughts, lovely things that you like. Make a plan of action to go into the future with faith in yourself. Big massive hug xxxxxxxx
@@karenjones782 Sadly, some kids are totally aware of their parent's narcissism but they align themselves to the one who will leave the biggest inheritance. Happened with my sister, and my step daughter.
This was a Heaven sent video for me! My Mother passed away in my arms this last wed. I'm still in grieving and our narcissist betrayer betrays us even while claiming we are, "In their prayers!". Please narcissist, do not pray for me. Whatever god it is they worship is not my God so I don't want them to pray their hypocritical prayers for me to their false God that tells them they can be who they are and be saved. No thank you! They don't know how God has blessed us either. I was sitting here thinking about how to handle it. I prayed and God showed me this very video within 5 minutes! Straight up answered my prayer!
A VOW is viewed differently for a Narc. They hold nothing sacred. They are sons/daughters of the father of lies, Satan. Honor God, yourself and your body. Keep getting up every day and trying. Do not lose hope. I'm saying this to myself as I have been discarded. Thanks for the video🕊️❤️🩹
I lost my dad in 2014...it was heart breaking, but when I cook he is there in my mind, heart, and in my cooking. I miss him everyday, but have hope to see him again. I was betrayed by my mother...she never loved or wanted me & she told me this in 2019; I really found out how deep it was after she passed in 2021. Nothing ever meant anything to her. I was pawn to be used throughout my life. She died & all I feel is the sting of the betrayal...time & energy wasted...my life wasted...my emotions wasted on someone who just thought of me as a pawn to be used.
Your description of recovery from betrayal is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard!!! By going inward and isolating so we can come out and be a family unto ourselves and end up deeply knowing and activating ourselves is the most profoundly intelligent thing I've ever heard!!!
I have been betrayed by abusive parents and my twin. Everything you said is so profoundly true and I'm happy that I found this video! Thank you for understanding what betrayal does to ruin trust and to leave us alone, frozen, angry and floundering!!!
I'm still struggling with the betrayal by my husband narc. I feel like I'll never recover from that hurt. This holiday season is so lonely and sad for me. Hugs to everyone who feels alone and scared to care anymore.
The worse part of narcissistic betrayal is they’re aware they hurt you are hurting you and do it anyway. The intent is hard to comprehend. So like the loss of my father who really did love me and raised me. It is very different. But as my Dad used to say about uncontrollables…”it is what it is, let go.” I try not to ruminate in the why what is real what isn’t. I’ve written it off as my sooon to be x husband is sick and twisted and I don’t want it. Not the thoughts not him. I just want to remove away from the pollution and poison.
I understand Kevin, I did the same thing married in a family that didn't except me, the whole family was narcissistic, and tried to break up our marriage. We been married 43 years. And still married. And that's my revenge Lol
Just everything you said is so very very true. You have opened my eyes to so much Kevin. Now I am starting to feel more at peace slowly it takes time however when I start to fall weak I just listen to you again and again and it reminds me I can do this...Thank you for being you..
Thank you Lord for your ministry. I have been so interested in Narcissism and hearing the Christian take has been great. I have seen narcissistic traits in my own self and in others. Trying to create better boundaries. Live more meaningfully. When you spoke about being betrayed by family and having this sense of “I don’t even want them in my life” because I am so tired of dealing with them. I just want to be left alone. That is me right now.
It's as if the Covert Narc husband (the husband I didn't know) killed the loving husband I thought I knew (who apparently never existed). 💔 I am moving on & learning so much more about who I am & am not. It's important to me that I don't become bitter or loose hope. I know that I do love & will be able to become even more whole. I will not get stuck in remorse or blame. My eyes are now open. 🎇
I am so sorry for the loss of your parents, Kevin. Betrayal from the narcissist has shattered my heart and yes, I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I am hearing you. That’s got to be tough to want to be part of a family. Luckily, your wife is on your side!! I am God’s child/creation-created for a purpose-due to the betrayal-at work also, I feel like a lost sheep. Thank you for your ministry KEVIN.
The betrayal really hurts when you get thrown under the buss so bad that you finally realize that your mother isn't capable of loving you. My heart is crushed
Great topic Kevin!! I've experienced both betrayal and death of loved ones that hit me hard. The more you've invested your heart and soul the bigger the impact and longer the recovery time. Honouring their loss to give it real meaning by making it your "why" or reason for your purpose definitely empowers and motivates us to diffidently take action and carry our torch lights high and proud to shine the way forwards thru the dark for ourself and others.
I've been listening to Kevin for 7 years. He has always been on point. I am so grateful for The Royal We. I am always introducing people to this website because I really don't know where I would be without it. I thank you Kevin for this work that you do. May God bless you over and over and over and store up for you many many riches in Heaven. May He bless your life here on earth. In His holy name do I pray this. I thank you Kevin so much from the very depth of my soul.
I'm really struggling to let things go. I know I need to end things with my partner but I keep taking him back. The things hes done haunt me every day.. Its literally torture. Why cant I let go? :( You're definitely right it's so painful..
Trauma bonds are real, as are soul ties. They are demonic in nature and what you are experiencing in my view is a form of witchcraft... These are principalities you aree dealing with. You are in the middle of a psychic, emotional, mental, and especially spiritual war.
It’s an addiction. You are addicted to the emotions you felt during the love bombing. Those emotions were more potent and powerful than any drug there is. But it wasn’t what it seemed. It’s how they hook you. They can’t continue that level of “love” . It’s all apart of their charade. 4 plus years I kept going back! I broke no contact at least 20 times and the end result never changed. I am destroyed mentally spiritually and emotionally. 4 plus months no contact and I am not going to fail this time! I just can’t do it anymore. NO CONTACT and stay no contact! Good luck my friend I know the struggle well
the death of a loved one cannot be helped but when you are decieved, mocked, been lied too, used and abused ON PURPOSE by someone you thought was your friend, lover, that hurts
My dad grew his angel wings back in the early 90's. I carry him with me every second of the day, because he truly love me. My husband, eldest daughter, her husband & my husband's brother. We were family & now, we are nothing to brag about!! I'm on another site teaching narcissism & I sing, once again praises to the Lord!! I don't want to love any more or woman. Although, if I know, someone is a good person, like you, I work, on my trust issues!! In search, for a new family of people who are like minded & love the Lord!!
Thank you Kevin for sharing this I also being bullied by the Narc mother from my ex husband No empathy - for me, as my ex narc betrayal me, walking away with my replacement, feels like to go to hell with the hurting Over 1 year no contact 💯 Gets a lot better now, but I don't want to dating anybody it feels like somethings dead inside of me. Greets from Germany
Kevin thank you so much for speaking all of our truths. Your videos have helped me by realizing others understand the rejection and pain. This video made me tearful in a healing way.
Most of us abused people have but one dream…to be loved, accepted and have a family. The pain of being rejected by your I laws must have been doubly hurtful and disturbing. I have similar rejecting in-laws. The moment I realized I could not trust them and that I had to once again protect myself and my kids was a very sad and lonely day.
I totally hear that but I have to say that with God all things are possible and that’s why I have studied narcissism in light of God’s word and have received amazing healing and understanding enlightenment
Kevin I'm so thankful for your channel and I thank God for using your pain to reach others in Christ. I've experienced so many toxic relationships and I've been in isolation for a few yrs along with betrayal after betrayal. God has been bringing healing to my soul in such a personal way.. I've also been through the church and relationships where betrayal was deep. In this video I had a breakthrough that confirms what God has been speaking to me and preparing me for I just cried from the deepest areas but with release. My husband and 22 yr old daughter are watching your videos together. So thank you for your love and faithfulness..
Ahhh this is convicting...the sentence where God has called us to BECOME a family!!! So long I've had this abusive narcissist thinking, wow, it's so very freeing, free if expectations finally
THIS. My best friend died, and it was very sad, I cried and grieved, but it wasn't difficult to process, and I was still grateful to have known her, and I grew from our friendship. Being betrayed creates a deep wound.
I am so thankful for this era of my life. I have hung out in the Old Testament particularly Isaiah. The Creator is helping me repair the walls that were breached and left in ruins by the narcissist. I have done my best to honor this amazing time and journey despite most people trying to push me onto their time frame and agenda. 🌺
I lost my Dad in Sept. of 2015. I experienced betrayal from my ex in 2017. And I lost my Mom in January 2020. (Not Covid-19 related.) Kevin you hit the nail on the head! I am dealing with all 3 losses. But by far, betrayal is the worse. I still question if my ex is a covert narcissist or not. But “I carry the torch” my parents left me.
What I don't understand is why after 5.5 years Narc Free, after years of EMDR, trauma therapy, medication, counseling, why is the Narc still in my head on a daily basis? Not a single day has passed that he hasn't popped up in my thoughts for at least a few moments. I haven't had a relationship since 2015. I just want him out of my head.
It's hard to wrap your head around, that the person you have built your life with JUST up and leaves as if they never even knew YOU. I can't tell what part was real if at all. Then become invisible while your Spirit is broken and feeling lost. The lack of empathy truly JUST strips YOU of EVERYTHING YOU thought you had,
Betrayal is such a mind screw and hurts so much !!! Iam still going through it and i can’t see the light at the end yet ! I have hear from other videos that 6 out of 10 people that have been betrayed by a spouse committed suicide! Thank God for your videos!!! It saved my life !!!
When they turn your own children against you and alienate them from you is thee worst betrayal of ALL. It's far worse than the abuse and cheating i endured throughout the marriage. You leave to save your children and break the cycle but when you finally get free the REAL shit show begins with the children as pawns. This is thee most wicked spirit! And it hides so well.
So true, Kevin, even though I have not experienced loss of any really close one, except for my maternal grandparents, to me, going through the betrayal by my mother is the worst thing in my life up to now, being 59 years old. I have been jilted by a boyfriend before, not having a soul mate yet when I was already 36, lost my new job after l had given up my other stable job in just 6 months, big ones to me, but not yet until l faced betrayal. More than 10 times, I have cried out to my husband that I couldn't take the flashbacks and torture of the whole thing that I just wanted to die! Couldn't agree with you more, tqvm for this video. And thank you too for all your other videos which have been therapeutic and helped a lot in my healing, I have quite gotten out of that suicidal loop and looking forward to something l can do from this experience, God bless you!
33 years with X turned out to be fake. Every interaction, event, and memory was false. All my in-laws were involved in the deception. It corrupted my work relationships, too. God gave me the strength to leave them all and start over. Doing fine now.
They have to live with themselves I moved on with life they were narriscist sad to say Kevin you cant trust ppl I'm living my life doing me I dont like my in laws but I do love my wife and I'm staying with her we dont deal with them very low contac I know who I am and good video
Christ is my Father now. I now know the fullness of God who waited for me. My family was my enemy. I lost trust in both N parents at a very young age, around 5 or 6. I don't remember my mother ever telling me she loved me. Before my Dad died at 91, he threatened to shoot me. My stepfather was cruel (gave away my beloved dog, the only comfort I had), bullied and terrorized me and...I won't go into the rest. They were sick, I was not.
I too was in a narcissistic family and my mother betrayed me only for me to get involved with yet another narcissist! I am so removed and so untrusting! I am finally living my life! For me and God
I closed myself down, sat in the dark... curtains closed hardly ate only drank sweet tea, floated around like a zombie questioning myself every minute, I hadn't realised I was with a Narcissist til I had him arrested, I just thought he was violent abusive person, hadn't realised I had been set up... I couldn't figure why he was so lovely in the beginning everything I always wanted in a relationship til his mask fell off I couldn't believe the emotional pain that came after he was taken away, I loved my father but that bereavement was hard losing him but the feelings that I'm experiencing now is 50 times more if not more.. I'm in therapy as we speak... I can't shut off switch off I struggle with just making some food or a drink... I'm still in shock... the whole relationship a lie and I don't think I'm going to ever forget this til the day I die How can someone you cherished turn against you do what they possibly can to destroy your heart and brain, I feel I can't function at all, my balance everything I feel so damaged The lies and cheats I found out was horrendous I feel robbed of all the trust I gave from me... He's ruined my thoughts everything and I wouldn't wish this on an enemy not that I have any at all but a person that i thought that truly loved me in every possible way betrayed my heart my inner being I'm not sure who I am anymore I do have my faith and that takes the edge off I'm concentrating on me over year ago I was happy bubbly etc but reduced to an empty shell I'm trying to stay strong they even rob that I feel I've been born again and learning how to walk talk and learn myself I don't like the person he's left me in ALL I know out of this it's going to take time to recover and trust again Thank you so much I listened to you and taken on board all the things you've said thank you, 💞
Thank you, I cant even put into words how much this helped me understand the depth of feelings of betrayal plus, the isolation.. that it can be a positive to know oneself better. It is very difficult, it helps to hear your story. Peace
When you know your identity in Christ the betrayal makes sense..they were sent to destroy you and your God given purpose..before I knew this was why I was attacked and tricked I was hurt and I isolated and trusted what I thought was carefully only to be betrayed again and rejected..but it was all to build me up and equip me to fight and understand this spiritual battle better
I expect any person on the street to betray me. But after my narc mother betrayed me I came to realize that she had been betraying me all of my life at various times. So I went no contact, and it’s a loss, but I can now see that there was a loss for many years before I ever went no contact. So is it really a loss? She never had my back, she has always been willing to stab me in the back. So what did I lose?
I deal with it every day. It's hard to wrap my mind around. It's not just the betrayal but that she destroyed all of my works and those I had set aside for my son. No reason other than pure evil jealousy and spite.
I listen, and every time I hear you I am learning more. I am in agreeance with the,aspects you cover, as every time ,you are hitting the nail right ,directly , on the head in easy to understand language. I appreciate the scriptures you also refer to for examples. Thank you ever so much for your talent and making it as an available service you are providing. God Bless you and fortify you. Happy New Year
this one made me cry even harder because my narcissistic daughter hasn't contacted me in 15 years and it would have been better if she would have died...
I am 66, I was raised by narcissists only to marry at 18 to another narcissist who managed after 48 years of marriage and four children to turn my children against me where there has been no contact in over six months....Father has drawn me even closer as He heals my heart . I had no idea what I was dealing with until Abba lead me to descriptions of a narcissist. I am also an INFJ, which Abb a Father revealed in raw personality testing. I am very comfortable in isolation. I am praying for answers in whether or not to remain in this house with the Narcissist or get out. I will look into your links Sir and thank you for all you are doing for The Royal We , in ministry....so very valuable!
Betrayal feels like you are mourning the death of a loved one who is still alive. Betrayal is pure evil.
They don't have a conscience!!!!.
@@arturodiaz1063 yes they do they just suppress it. Horrible way to live. They hate themselves. I should know I used to be a narcissist. I hated myself but only I and God knew. So I called on Jesus name and He saved me from myself.
Interesting. The last real conversation I had with my mother, I actually told her she was dead. I now see she is just dead to me. "Let the dead bury the dead." I wish I knew who she was before she killed me.
@@SovereignDirt Wow. The way I look at it now is that I will not give anyone the right to hurt me. And so I don’t get hurt, It is so liberating to live this way.
@@nachis3 I've been that way since my divorce in '09. I found that I don't want to live closed off. So when I meet people I look for a reciprocal willingness to be vulnerable. If you don't show it, I don't trust you at all. If you atleast try, I'll be friendly. I don't want to quit giving the benefit of the doubt because I wouldn't/don't want others to do that to me.
I saw a good quote - “narcissistic abuse doesn’t break your heart, it breaks your spirit” - this really puts things in perspective, it’s your entire existence that is on the line
No my friend... there’s days when u feel like this , trust me I know... especially living w/a narcissist... *BUT on the days THEY TRY to make u feel like this~ Just remember ... “IT WON’T BREAK YOUR SPIRIT ~ IF YOU DO NOT LET IT” and... keep smiling cause it really pisses them off ;)
It's the truth
In my case, I gave everything to what I believed was a solid relationship, only to be nuclear SLAMMED by the narc in every possible way... They tried to break me... Only they broke themselves instead. My soul is not a target, but they thought it was. Their continued rage & stalking now is the result of their own grossly miscalculated assertions about me...they can't believe they _failed!!!_ My soul was seeking a true bond with another, when all along that which I sought outside myself was deep within me. I took back my power & will be much more discerning before I allow it to be extended to another, if ever again.💜
@@catherinerhea6336 Are these people demons? How can they do this to people
@@vitos.r.5112 No. They are spiritually demented, tortured souls forced to face their own short-comings full frontal, and they can't...so they target what they desire from you, claim it as their own, all the while shredding you for it!!! By the time you realize what's really going on, they've gone behind your back, setting you up for multiple public "stabbings" aimed at destroying you & elevating themselves above you... You become the punching bag they empty their own self-loathing on. Your LESSON is to force their karma right back onto them WITHOUT getting sucked into their manipulative games... They weaponize your insecurities against you, the primary being ***YOUR ADDICTION TO APPROVAL!!!*** BREAK YOUR ADDICTION & THE NARC INSTANTLY BECOMES POWERLESS... FORCED TO FACE THEIR OWN INNER DARKNESS WITH NO ONE TO BLAME BUT THEMSELVES... & I WALKED AWAY IN PEACE WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH: ***NO ONE & NOTHING IS WORTH LOOSING YOUR HONOR, INTEGRITY, SELF ESTEEM OVER... NO ONE.***
BETRAYAL BREAKS YOUR HEART AND SOUL. THE SHOCK IS CRUSHING.
I mourned the deaths of my family members who betrayed me, now they don't exist in my world. Its been years and it still stings. They aren't dead just dead to me
Amen 🙏🏽
My children still have a mother, but I see my wife as being dead.
That’s how I deal with it.
Jesus said to let the dead bury their own dead. You did the right thing. I am praying for your broken 💔
Sometimes the betrayal helps you finally discover who you are. Some of us never developed a sense of self if you are surrounded by narcs who always betray you. Getting away from them heals you to discover who you are, becoming the person you were born to be if not for those soul sucking vampires
This is absolutely true, the wounds are deep and take a long time to heal as it
is great sadness,you have to turn to God as his love is always there.
Thats it.He gives me instructions and 75% I dont get it.iam paying attention and alert now.i now what I missed!!!!
Gloria iam only deciding at this second after reading ur comment that I have made my own wounds. I may have pronounced another but being such a kind or empathetic type as a person I took that root. That root is done. I only have well what ever Jesus wants time left but nomore Mister nice guy which means no more giving and giving until u feel like ur a lover. I tried to keep changing the word lover to a lover just like this again hang on. LOSER there but Lover kept coming up so there it is God says iam a Lover not a Well we no the word now. Wow that couldn't be amazing unless it was to me.
@@dorothykitzinger4094 You did not choose for the narc to choose hate instead of love,but if you stay you are bringing more and deeper wounds on yourself as you do now know what you are dealing with,God bless dear one.
Betrayal is the death of trust and innocence. After realizing that all my friendships were toxic, many of them spanning from childhood, I realized I no longer wanted to contribute to the toxicity. Now I’m without friends but not missing my old friends at all. In fact, I feel free now. I am being myself again after decades of ruminating in unhealthy patterns. I may or may not make new friends in the future. For now, I’m enjoying learning how to be myself.
The day the lights went on while in deep conversation with my bestie was so shocking to my spirit. The last safest place I had was within this relationship and it was all a lie on her part and I literally felt that sickening punch in the gut, like the walls and floor were crushing me. Betrayal is cruel
Better off alone than surrounded by toxic people.
@@amy2770 this has just happened to me too, i think she is the very last of them.
exactly being alone is better cause u know u can trust u and u wont betray u. smh
That's a good place to be.
I have lost my Father. My Sister. My Brother... Nothing I thought could ever hurt so much.. The loss of myself to someone who has nearly destroyed me is incomprehensible 💔
Yes betrayal is what I wrestled with for my whole life. I never betrayed anyone EVER. in those ways at least. The kinds of betrayals that crush your soul.
Maybe not in 'those way,' BUT you betrayed yourself by staying with an abuser. Thats the first step of radical personal honesty. It has nothing to do with them. No one can crush your soul, unless it is already crushed. Only you can free yourself and revive your soul.
Exactly
@@sospita_ thank you for your kind words.
Whenever we turn our back to God or anyone for that matter.
The very act itself is betrayal is rejection is abandonment is psychological abuse is violation is degradation is devaluing is unloving! And is a most unfortunate circumstance.
@@feminazislayer Thank you for listening and for healing, as your healing also heals us all. 🕊🙏🏽
I told my ex narc of 10 yrs everything that I had been thru. In return he used it against me to hurt me more. It's very cruel what they do!
I agree because I was abandoned by my Narcissist husband who left me with a new baby and child, cold. He cheated and ran away with his girlfriend. That was 8 years ago. He was my best friend in high School and we really loved each other before we got married and married 5 years and with him 10 years before we had kids. He couldn't handle having kids. It wasn't planned. Satan took over him. He was an alcoholic abusive Narcissist. He quit drinking last year after his girlfriend left him because he hasn't divorced me. He isn't nicer. Still the same Asshole. I've always felt this hurts more than if he died. But nobody gives you sympathy unless they die. I don't look for sympathy. I get tired of people looking like something is wrong with me for being a single mom when I have had so much Strength to endure all this pain and instead I get judged because women are blamed for everything. I'm not on drugs or alcohol or pills. No credit for that. Just judged. We can't win as women.
Yes I tried another Relationship with a Fake Christian and it was WORSE! He was a closet gay covert Narcissist! I'm so tired of toxic people I have no desire to be in a relationship again! Happy being single! INFJ!
True. Betrayed by a man I opened my heart to. Got treated like nothing, lied to, blamed for things that were not true, blocked and taunted on social media. This was his response to me offering love to him. I was shocked by his cruelty. I felt like he threw me away and stomped on me afterwards. It's like the great person he seemed to be died and he changed into an evil version of himself.
I know how you feel
I can weigh the two right now and the betrayel is waaaaaaay worse and takes waaaay longer to process and heal from.
And when they say let that go and move with your life. It's easy for them to say. The wounds those people create when they discard you is immense. Thank you for your video.
For me was the most horrible thing, that I could not even trust myself anymore after betrayal and smere campaign. I left my country , my profession and family. Thank you, dear Kevin for this dicrimination.
My entire family betrayed me..it's devastating. .still in shock...but in recovery. .this is true warriorship and walking in the light.we are stronger than we ever thought possible! ..carrying that torch to a new life..wonderful truth and wisdom brother. Deep gratitude....love you .. 💜
"We need to be pushed out of a toxic relationship into this place of isolation so that we can connect with our inner truth, our inner authenticity, with who we are as individuals."--Perfect. Thanks.
yes, it has definately brought me closer to my GOD
Exactly, who can protect me when the protectors turned against me. I can relate to all that you are saying.
My question exactly.
@@niccivictorious5594 maybe we just protect ourselves at all costs and each other that have been through this from here on out.
Jesus! Luv u I will help u Royal we will help u!
@@dorothykitzinger4094 the royal we videos and other narcissist abuse channels have already helped me figure some things out and helped me connect the dots of a very confusing upbringing.
@@TheLordsbattleaxe isn't he great!!! I have to get learnin on the Bible so I can join them on his Bible class on sat.am thanks Badass
You are right about death of parents compared to betrayed. The person that suppose to have your back sticks a knife in it feels way worse and last longer ,especially when they ask you to have faith in them. Narcs have no problem with this, they can turn into a snake at anytime and sucker punch you leaving you feel like a horses a$$.
Yea
I still remember soon after my ex-wife and I married said "I have your back." Those words still sting in my memory......
Matthew 19:29 " And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life." This is what has gotten me through. I need a do-over with a different family.
💯👑🎉 YESSSS
I'd rather my parents actually died then have them betray me and pretend like nothing happened.
exactly
Yes, the betrayal wasn't the worse. The shrug, the nonacknowledgement that betrayal even happened.
Yes
I'Ve had betrayal from all angles-father/mother/sibling/ex-narc/son-you've got to become-your own best friend-search your truth-depend on no one-you are lone wolfe-study the holy scriptures& the big boss will give you the stregth.
@@neerudutta6810 it is turning into a complete lone wolf situation for me now for sure.
You are so right Kevin!!!
Painful and it takes a lot of time to heal.
It's taken me 8 years
This is pure facts the betrayal lingers FOREVER smh
Where there is Love, betrayal can not exist. If you chose to be responsible to do your deep work, if you do everything it takes to learn to love and live in love, there is no lingering betrayal. If you are haunted by betrayal its because you like it. You like to hate it. You're comfortable being uncomfortable, you cant admit defeat and you likely don't have the radical self honesty it takes to get free. 😅🙀👊🏼✌🏽
@@sospita_ I would not say that there is no love there, but rather that there is no high consciousness about not everybody being at the same level of consciousness . People who are not connected with themselves ( and others )sometimes seek desperately their connection, and happiness in all the wrong ways posible and hurt us. They are not happy with themselves and we can't expect them to make us happy. Happy people don t hurt others.
I agree with you wholeheartedly.
@@sospita_ They use your love to get what they want and when you have none left to give and need some back... you find you were never getting any at all.
Sure does
I lost four loved ones while married to my narcissist. 😔 I felt so alone. Then I “lost” my narcissist, as in he discarded me... and this time I made sure it was final, for me. It was so hard until I understood what narcissism is.
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry for you loss and the pain you feel from the narcissist. The same situation, Lost my mom, my broyher, had a miscarriage all within the last 2 years. Narcissist was abusive to me the whole time
I hope you’re in a better place now.
@@rosierb852 I’m so sorry to hear that. I hate how when your world is falling apart, all you can focus on is why they don’t love you. I’m in a better place but his covert tactics still hurt. 13 years and he showed zero emotion when we split. He took up mountain biking.
It's betrayal since day 1. In the end you betrayed your own self and if you leave for good you are finally starting to have more respect for your SELF
I needed to hear that Thank You ! Thank You Lord ! I experienced that betrayal , in foster care , and in my marraige , and my ex,s family .
We are not of this world , though were in it . We are part of God's family .
Jesus gets me through my CPTSD. I pray everyday to let me have a good day without episode. I pray for all those that suffer. GOD BLESS
Thank You For Sharing
It Took Me 7 Yrs To Realize I Was
Being Used By A Narcissistic Person.
I Was In Love With Him Everything To Him Was All About
Using Me Then After Using Me Throwing Me Away Like Trash.
The Betrayal Was Horrible..I Lost Myself And My Self Worth.
I Thank God That I’m Getting Help Through A Life Coach * Kevin Thank You For Sharing Ur. Videos I Have Finally Decided To Let Go Blocking This Person.
Narcissistic Abuse Is The Worse Form Of Abuse EverTo Overcome..
EXACTLY! U are so on point about this. I think the reason why it took me years to heal and I still have the scars on my soul was because I received this abuse from people that I genuinely loved and was real with that were supposed to love me back. The knife in the back hurts but it hurts worse when u turn around and see who is holding it. IT WAS SUCH A HURTFUL THING! because I felt like im losing my love interest, friend or family member over basically nothing. I knew I didnt do anything to deserve that vitriol, abuse and bettayel. All I was was loving, kind, well meaning and had everyones best interest at heart and because im climbing the ladder of success or my love interest or friend doesnt like the fact that they dont feel like the star of the show when im around they treat me as an enemy I am not. It was UNBELIEVABLE!!! Then you are hurt dazed and confused because u dont have the education about npd while u are going thru it and the cognitive dissonance kicks in. Why is my “friend” smiling in my face but doing things worse than an enemy to me actively spreading lies about me and trying to sabotage me??? Why is my love interest trying to devalue me and insult me and withholding affection from me??? I dont deserve this I have been nothing but kind, loving and respectful to her. Why is my love interest doing things to me an enemy would? Why is my family member doing things worse than my enemy??? U are so right about it I was GENUINELY HURT because these were all people I genuinely loved and had their best interest and had been nothing but kind to to realize I was that HATED!!! and had done not one thing that was deserving of it it hurt really really really bad. smh
Im at this stage, discovering my interests, Painting, reading, learning more and more about these entities so I don't get caught up emotionally ever again. It really pushed me to discover my authentic self after childhood narc abuse then tripping right into this abuse as an adult. I'm so thankful for your help ❤️🙏
It's good you have a loving family, Kevin. Some of us have no one.
All my life i've been experiencing betrayal since the age of 3 until now , my closest ones did ,and do that and the followings came after ,every where and every one i trusted ,in the end got damaged ,felt remorse ,my famliy under the leadership of my mom stabbed be in the back years ago ,my sister(s) who were and are jealous of me.love,trust ,family ,relative,friend ,marriage all have lost their meanings to me ,only God who is other existance than all this mess,heaven have meaning to me ,i hate them all.
Hey Miss.... From my perpective and understanding in life we should love one another in order for us to excel or prosper in this dunya and hereafter...
Narcs are wicked , delusional, toxic, vulgar, manipulative, and destructive we should love each and every loving soul on this universe but gotta love them from a distance because don't know exactly what they're doing behind close or behind the scene etc..... I wish you and all the in life ..
Trust i have been there before ..... May allah protect is from wicked and toxic folks in this dunya Ameen......
@@elhadjdiallo633 ،Thanks ,Amen
50 years old and just coming to the realization that Mrs. Bates is my mother.
You must be my brother then
...or sister/ sibling....
Yeah, that's about the age it seems to happen. Welcome to the club, brother.
Thank you..I needed to hear this. I've lost suddenly my love one as well being betrayed by someone I thought he loved me truly and was unique amazing love.I guess God showed me by this betrayal this relationship was not His will. Still extremely sad😪
I'm so sorry dear sister. May God heal you and help you back to your feet
Don't be sad, just thank God you were never married.
@@NarnianLady ❤
@@errandgirl48 ❤
Man... smh.. this brought me near to tears. I NEEDED to hear this truth about myself! Thanks for your transparency!
100% ... It is Hell .. Processing.... takes time, it hurts. it takes time when it is your kids and family, all against one... Letting go, 6 months ... Pain, now acceptance, and rollercoaster... knowing and seeing it all... Proccessing it .... Thanks for your vids ... Peace !
It is one thing to mourn family when they pass away; it is a whole other thing & level of mourning to mourn an entire family who is alive. Betrayal is death of trust & everything you thought you knew to be true. Thank God for healing & being able to really see that the perceived ”loss” pales in comparison to what you gain.
The description of betrayal that you just read describes how I feel now. I don’t want to love and I don’t want to be loved by anyone, I just want to be left alone. It’s the only way that I feel somewhat safe.
So true! I lost my grandmother recently, someone I dearly loved and to who I was close. Grieving for her hasn't been nearly as painful as the grieving I've had to do for some narcissists who are still alive.
That's some real truth there Paula.
I'M THERE WITH YOU
Your betrayal is exactly like mine. My ex left me and him and his tribal family tried to cut me down in the most hurtful way they knew how. My motherhood. My faith. My autonomous thoughts and way I wanted to live my life.
The narc husband betrayed me with those closest to me. These women pretended to be my friends and all the while they were sleeping with him. He has already discarded one baby mama and has moved in with another one. Their betrayal is soul crushingly painful but it also made me realise that being a people pleaser left me with no boundaries. I use to trust everyone as I always thought that most people are good, kind and trustworthy.
When my mother died in 2015, I didn't think there could be anything more painful than the loss of your parent (other than losing a child ) but there sure was. A short time later I experienced betrayal from my spouse. The description of betrayal and the impact it has on a person is right where I at this very moment. Today is my 40th wedding anniversary. My husband sued me for divorce in September. Trying to dicard me first I guess. So yes, having experienced both, I agree betrayal is much harder and more difficult to process. I'm glad I watched the video this morning.
It felt the same...absolutely....I cried for months and was in total shock. It felt like dying....😭 Still there...the numbness...the broken heart...
to know they'll do it again if they can!!!
After letting so many people into my life for so long it is now a privilege to be alone and calming down and happy to spend time with me
Kevin you hit the nail. I couldn’t keep it together while making Mac and cheese on thanksgiving. My oldest son used to devour my my Mac and cheese. His father was so jealous of our relationship that he finally succeeded in destroying us. I no longer speak to my son...he is narcissistic and believes his father’s lies. I can’t stop crying and he is 20yrs old. Thank you Mo
same
Please think about writing to your son explaining that you love him for himself and that you miss him. Tell him that your door will be forever open to him and that you keep a place for him in your heart. Don’t even mention his Dad your son will find out soon enough when his father reveals his malice, his nastiness, his lies his real self. Then turn that love upon yourself and give yourself lovely thoughts, lovely things that you like. Make a plan of action to go into the future with faith in yourself. Big massive hug xxxxxxxx
@@karenjones782 Sadly, some kids are totally aware of their parent's narcissism but they align themselves to the one who will leave the biggest inheritance. Happened with my sister, and my step daughter.
@@karenjones782 I love this wise and loving advice.
This was a Heaven sent video for me! My Mother passed away in my arms this last wed. I'm still in grieving and our narcissist betrayer betrays us even while claiming we are, "In their prayers!". Please narcissist, do not pray for me. Whatever god it is they worship is not my God so I don't want them to pray their hypocritical prayers for me to their false God that tells them they can be who they are and be saved. No thank you! They don't know how God has blessed us either. I was sitting here thinking about how to handle it. I prayed and God showed me this very video within 5 minutes! Straight up answered my prayer!
Thank u Kevin. I been there, just like you, as far back as early childhood all throughout my life. I love watching your vidoes.
Agreed, I love the Christmas family intro & today’s definition was perfect.
A VOW is viewed differently for a Narc. They hold nothing sacred. They are sons/daughters of the father of lies, Satan. Honor God, yourself and your body. Keep getting up every day and trying. Do not lose hope. I'm saying this to myself as I have been discarded. Thanks for the video🕊️❤️🩹
Absolutely I can’t even wrap my head around it and I’m at nearly “FOUR” years since this discard!🥶🇨🇦
Me either
Same....
I lost my dad in 2014...it was heart breaking, but when I cook he is there in my mind, heart, and in my cooking. I miss him everyday, but have hope to see him again. I was betrayed by my mother...she never loved or wanted me & she told me this in 2019; I really found out how deep it was after she passed in 2021. Nothing ever meant anything to her. I was pawn to be used throughout my life. She died & all I feel is the sting of the betrayal...time & energy wasted...my life wasted...my emotions wasted on someone who just thought of me as a pawn to be used.
"WE" LOOK like BEAUTIFUL LIGHTS of LOVE carrying those TORCHES 🔥💫
Your description of recovery from betrayal is the most brilliant thing I've ever heard!!! By going inward and isolating so we can come out and be a family unto ourselves and end up deeply knowing and activating ourselves is the most profoundly intelligent thing I've ever heard!!!
I have been betrayed by abusive parents and my twin. Everything you said is so profoundly true and I'm happy that I found this video! Thank you for understanding what betrayal does to ruin trust and to leave us alone, frozen, angry and floundering!!!
I'm still struggling with the betrayal by my husband narc. I feel like I'll never recover from that hurt. This holiday season is so lonely and sad for me. Hugs to everyone who feels alone and scared to care anymore.
Hugs to you
The worse part of narcissistic betrayal is they’re aware they hurt you are hurting you and do it anyway. The intent is hard to comprehend. So like the loss of my father who really did love me and raised me. It is very different. But as my Dad used to say about uncontrollables…”it is what it is, let go.” I try not to ruminate in the why what is real what isn’t. I’ve written it off as my sooon to be x husband is sick and twisted and I don’t want it. Not the thoughts not him. I just want to remove away from the pollution and poison.
I went through the same thing my husband and his family I didn’t fit in left my husband 14 weeks ago today and I’m working on my healing
I understand Kevin, I did the same thing married in a family that didn't except me, the whole family was narcissistic, and tried to break up our marriage. We been married 43 years. And still married. And that's my revenge Lol
Just everything you said is so very very true. You have opened my eyes to so much Kevin. Now I am starting to feel more at peace slowly it takes time however when I start to fall weak I just listen to you again and again and it reminds me I can do this...Thank you for being you..
Thank you Lord for your ministry. I have been so interested in Narcissism and hearing the Christian take has been great. I have seen narcissistic traits in my own self and in others. Trying to create better boundaries. Live more meaningfully. When you spoke about being betrayed by family and having this sense of “I don’t even want them in my life” because I am so tired of dealing with them. I just want to be left alone. That is me right now.
💯👑🧡
It's as if the Covert Narc husband (the husband I didn't know) killed the loving husband I thought I knew (who apparently never existed). 💔
I am moving on & learning so much more about who I am & am not. It's important to me that I don't become bitter or loose hope. I know that I do love & will be able to become even more whole. I will not get stuck in remorse or blame. My eyes are now open. 🎇
I am so sorry for the loss of your parents, Kevin. Betrayal from the narcissist has shattered my heart and yes, I feel like I can’t trust anyone. I am hearing you. That’s got to be tough to want to be part of a family. Luckily, your wife is on your side!! I am God’s child/creation-created for a purpose-due to the betrayal-at work also, I feel like a lost sheep. Thank you for your ministry KEVIN.
The betrayal really hurts when you get thrown under the buss so bad that you finally realize that your mother isn't capable of loving you. My heart is crushed
Great topic Kevin!! I've experienced both betrayal and death of loved ones that hit me hard. The more you've invested your heart and soul the bigger the impact and longer the recovery time. Honouring their loss to give it real meaning by making it your "why" or reason for your purpose definitely empowers and motivates us to diffidently take action and carry our torch lights high and proud to shine the way forwards thru the dark for ourself and others.
I've been listening to Kevin for 7 years. He has always been on point. I am so grateful for The Royal We. I am always introducing people to this website because I really don't know where I would be without it. I thank you Kevin for this work that you do. May God bless you over and over and over and store up for you many many riches in Heaven. May He bless your life here on earth. In His holy name do I pray this. I thank you Kevin so much from the very depth of my soul.
I'm really struggling to let things go. I know I need to end things with my partner but I keep taking him back. The things hes done haunt me every day.. Its literally torture. Why cant I let go? :(
You're definitely right it's so painful..
Trauma bonds are real, as are soul ties. They are demonic in nature and what you are experiencing in my view is a form of witchcraft... These are principalities you aree dealing with. You are in the middle of a psychic, emotional, mental, and especially spiritual war.
@@flamingsword777 YES! Ive been saying for the last 3 years, that I believe that I am under a spiritual attack!
It’s an addiction. You are addicted to the emotions you felt during the love bombing. Those emotions were more potent and powerful than any drug there is. But it wasn’t what it seemed. It’s how they hook you. They can’t continue that level of “love” . It’s all apart of their charade. 4 plus years I kept going back! I broke no contact at least 20 times and the end result never changed. I am destroyed mentally spiritually and emotionally. 4 plus months no contact and I am not going to fail this time! I just can’t do it anymore. NO CONTACT and stay no contact! Good luck my friend I know the struggle well
RUN BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
@@edwinhernandez5581 I agree! Run and NEVER look back!!
the death of a loved one cannot be helped but when you are decieved, mocked, been lied too, used and abused ON PURPOSE by someone you thought was your friend, lover, that hurts
My dad grew his angel wings back in the early 90's. I carry him with me every second of the day, because he truly love me. My husband, eldest daughter, her husband & my husband's brother. We were family & now, we are nothing to brag about!! I'm on another site teaching narcissism & I sing, once again praises to the Lord!! I don't want to love any more or woman. Although, if I know, someone is a good person, like you, I work, on my trust issues!! In search, for a new family of people who are like minded & love the Lord!!
The devastation of this betrayal makes you hesitant to open up your heart to love again. What a “sucker” I was. Has left me suspicious of everyone. 😓
Nothing wrong with being suspicious of everyone until they prove to you they are good
Thank you Kevin for sharing this
I also being bullied by the Narc mother from my ex husband
No empathy - for me, as my ex narc betrayal me, walking away with my replacement, feels like to go to hell with the hurting
Over 1 year no contact 💯
Gets a lot better now, but I don't want to dating anybody it feels like somethings dead inside of me.
Greets from Germany
Kevin thank you so much for speaking all of our truths. Your videos have helped me by realizing others understand the rejection and pain. This video made me tearful in a healing way.
Most of us abused people have but one dream…to be loved, accepted and have a family. The pain of being rejected by your I laws must have been doubly hurtful and disturbing. I have similar rejecting in-laws. The moment I realized I could not trust them and that I had to once again protect myself and my kids was a very sad and lonely day.
I totally hear that but I have to say that with God all things are possible and that’s why I have studied narcissism in light of God’s word and have received amazing healing and understanding enlightenment
such as? could you explain more about the enlightenment please
@@faithcooke4231 I sure can and the best way I can do this is to give you this to watch th-cam.com/video/uLWfLr6GM2E/w-d-xo.html God bless you!!
Exactly. I've been there.I was stabbed in the back without expecting it from the person who I knew will protect me.
Kevin I'm so thankful for your channel and I thank God for using your pain to reach others in Christ. I've experienced so many toxic relationships and I've been in isolation for a few yrs along with betrayal after betrayal. God has been bringing healing to my soul in such a personal way.. I've also been through the church and relationships where betrayal was deep. In this video I had a breakthrough that confirms what God has been speaking to me and preparing me for I just cried from the deepest areas but with release. My husband and 22 yr old daughter are watching your videos together. So thank you for your love and faithfulness..
Ahhh this is convicting...the sentence where God has called us to BECOME a family!!! So long I've had this abusive narcissist thinking, wow, it's so very freeing, free if expectations finally
*of
THIS. My best friend died, and it was very sad, I cried and grieved, but it wasn't difficult to process, and I was still grateful to have known her, and I grew from our friendship. Being betrayed creates a deep wound.
Yea it does
I am so thankful for this era of my life. I have hung out in the Old Testament particularly Isaiah. The Creator is helping me repair the walls that were breached and left in ruins by the narcissist. I have done my best to honor this amazing time and journey despite most people trying to push me onto their time frame and agenda. 🌺
I lost my Dad in Sept. of 2015. I experienced betrayal from my ex in 2017. And I lost my Mom in January 2020. (Not Covid-19 related.)
Kevin you hit the nail on the head! I am dealing with all 3 losses. But by far, betrayal is the worse. I still question if my ex is a covert narcissist or not. But “I carry the torch” my parents left me.
When the person you loved the most, dies and you find out they betrayed you your whole life..I don't even know how to cope with this type of hurt..
What I don't understand is why after 5.5 years Narc Free, after years of EMDR, trauma therapy, medication, counseling, why is the Narc still in my head on a daily basis? Not a single day has passed that he hasn't popped up in my thoughts for at least a few moments. I haven't had a relationship since 2015. I just want him out of my head.
I agree. The betrayal and rejection of narcissistic family members is way worse than the death of a loved one.
Yes it is
It's hard to wrap your head around, that the person you have built your life with JUST up and leaves as if they never even knew YOU.
I can't tell what part was real if at all. Then become invisible while your Spirit is broken and feeling lost.
The lack of empathy truly JUST strips YOU of EVERYTHING YOU thought you had,
Betrayal is such a mind screw and hurts so much !!! Iam still going through it and i can’t see the light at the end yet ! I have hear from other videos that 6 out of 10 people that have been betrayed by a spouse committed suicide! Thank God for your videos!!! It saved my life !!!
One is unintended hurt, one is intentional hurt. Period.
When they turn your own children against you and alienate them from you is thee worst betrayal of ALL. It's far worse than the abuse and cheating i endured throughout the marriage. You leave to save your children and break the cycle but when you finally get free the REAL shit show begins with the children as pawns.
This is thee most wicked spirit!
And it hides so well.
So true, Kevin, even though I have not experienced loss of any really close one, except for my maternal grandparents, to me, going through the betrayal by my mother is the worst thing in my life up to now, being 59 years old. I have been jilted by a boyfriend before, not having a soul mate yet when I was already 36, lost my new job after l had given up my other stable job in just 6 months, big ones to me, but not yet until l faced betrayal. More than 10 times, I have cried out to my husband that I couldn't take the flashbacks and torture of the whole thing that I just wanted to die!
Couldn't agree with you more, tqvm for this video. And thank you too for all your other videos which have been therapeutic and helped a lot in my healing, I have quite gotten out of that suicidal loop and looking forward to something l can do from this experience, God bless you!
THANK you for doing these videos, so many people are suffering your doing good helping these people including myself THANK YOU!!!!
33 years with X turned out to be fake. Every interaction, event, and memory was false. All my in-laws were involved in the deception. It corrupted my work relationships, too. God gave me the strength to leave them all and start over. Doing fine now.
They have to live with themselves I moved on with life they were narriscist sad to say Kevin you cant trust ppl I'm living my life doing me I dont like my in laws but I do love my wife and I'm staying with her we dont deal with them very low contac I know who I am and good video
Christ is my Father now. I now know the fullness of God who waited for me. My family was my enemy. I lost trust in both N parents at a very young age, around 5 or 6. I don't remember my mother ever telling me she loved me. Before my Dad died at 91, he threatened to shoot me. My stepfather was cruel (gave away my beloved dog, the only comfort I had), bullied and terrorized me and...I won't go into the rest. They were sick, I was not.
I too was in a narcissistic family and my mother betrayed me only for me to get involved with yet another narcissist! I am so removed and so untrusting! I am finally living my life! For me and God
I closed myself down, sat in the dark... curtains closed hardly ate only drank sweet tea, floated around like a zombie questioning myself every minute, I hadn't realised I was with a Narcissist til I had him arrested, I just thought he was violent abusive person, hadn't realised I had been set up... I couldn't figure why he was so lovely in the beginning everything I always wanted in a relationship til his mask fell off
I couldn't believe the emotional pain that came after he was taken away, I loved my father but that bereavement was hard losing him but the feelings that I'm experiencing now is 50 times more if not more.. I'm in therapy as we speak... I can't shut off switch off I struggle with just making some food or a drink...
I'm still in shock... the whole relationship a lie and I don't think I'm going to ever forget this til the day I die
How can someone you cherished turn against you do what they possibly can to destroy your heart and brain, I feel I can't function at all, my balance everything I feel so damaged
The lies and cheats I found out was horrendous I feel robbed of all the trust I gave from me... He's ruined my thoughts everything and I wouldn't wish this on an enemy not that I have any at all but a person that i thought that truly loved me in every possible way betrayed my heart my inner being
I'm not sure who I am anymore
I do have my faith and that takes the edge off
I'm concentrating on me over year ago I was happy bubbly etc but reduced to an empty shell
I'm trying to stay strong they even rob that
I feel I've been born again and learning how to walk talk and learn myself I don't like the person he's left me in
ALL I know out of this it's going to take time to recover and trust again
Thank you so much I listened to you and taken on board all the things you've said thank you, 💞
Your not A victim brother.💪🤴 U got the father changing your heart & U don't have to live haunted in the past realities that, U lived in. 🙏
Thank you, I cant even put into words how much this helped me understand the depth of feelings of betrayal plus, the isolation.. that it can be a positive to know oneself better. It is very difficult, it helps to hear your story. Peace
Kevin this is /has been my entire life. I’m 58 and have given up on true love.
My Mother left me at age 6 and I was in Kindergarten.
😔
When you know your identity in Christ the betrayal makes sense..they were sent to destroy you and your God given purpose..before I knew this was why I was attacked and tricked I was hurt and I isolated and trusted what I thought was carefully only to be betrayed again and rejected..but it was all to build me up and equip me to fight and understand this spiritual battle better
I expect any person on the street to betray me. But after my narc mother betrayed me I came to realize that she had been betraying me all of my life at various times. So I went no contact, and it’s a loss, but I can now see that there was a loss for many years before I ever went no contact. So is it really a loss? She never had my back, she has always been willing to stab me in the back. So what did I lose?
I deal with it every day. It's hard to wrap my mind around. It's not just the betrayal but that she destroyed all of my works and those I had set aside for my son. No reason other than pure evil jealousy and spite.
I listen, and every time I hear you I am learning more. I am in agreeance with the,aspects you cover, as every time ,you are hitting the nail right ,directly , on the head in easy to understand language. I appreciate the scriptures you also refer to for examples. Thank you ever so much for your talent and making it as an available service you are providing. God Bless you and fortify you. Happy New Year
this one made me cry even harder because my narcissistic daughter hasn't contacted me in 15 years and it would have been better if she would have died...
I am 66, I was raised by narcissists only to marry at 18 to another narcissist who managed after 48 years of marriage and four children to turn my children against me where there has been no contact in over six months....Father has drawn me even closer as He heals my heart . I had no idea what I was dealing with until Abba lead me to descriptions of a narcissist. I am also an INFJ, which Abb a Father revealed in raw personality testing. I am very comfortable in isolation. I am praying for answers in whether or not to remain in this house with the Narcissist or get out. I will look into your links Sir and thank you for all you are doing for The Royal We , in ministry....so very valuable!