So true, narcissists are both jealous and controlling. They first charm you then they hurt you for being kind to them. I think they secretly loathe themselves and hate anyone that cares about them. They are motivated by fear, not love.
This is the very best video I've seen on this subject. Thank you! Perfect description of their sexual behavior. Over time it devolves into humiliation, degradation and ultimately sadism. These people live to rob you of your very heart and soul, because they have none.
After 30 years of ignorance and 2 years no contact, this information has helped me understand some aspects of my experiences so much better. Thank you 🙏
They are definitely getting called out in this video! I hope people recognize the signs and get away sooner than later after seeing this. This is not an easy topic to talk about. Thank you for sharing so authentically. 🤗
They enjoy the breaking of the boundary. If you are too easy, there is no boundary. They have to sometimes have to create a boundary just so they can bust through it.
I have seen hundreds of videos on N and this one is new to me and confuses me! I thought my N dter in law who controls my son and has isolsted and alienated him from us,his lovinv parents is holding him with good sex . Why wd he agree or not beable to see thru this? Please explain ..anybody...thanks ..bsffled naive me
The cover narcissist I dealt with for 11 years always wanted to record it. Was also addicted to porn. Would put my face on the girls in the videos. It was very demeaning to me 😢. I wanted to be in the moment & I felt used . He weaponized sex , withholding it from me. Lack of affection , intimacy & sex for years . I lost my sex drive due to the abuse I suffered from him. I’m sure he cheated on me just never caught him .
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I also had my boundaries broken by him making me continually do things that I didn’t want to do. He caused me pain- things that still hurt today during in regular life…. I lost any sex drive I had also.
24 years with my covert narcissist almost 20 years married. I didn’t realize this until 3 years ago spiritual in 2020 I waited a year to say anything I was called crazy roller coaster ride from hell cause I noticed the pattern. He thinks sex is love no empathy at all. Control over sex I agree it’s sick and twisted yes he wanted to watch porn while we have sex. He doesn’t like sex from past 3 years cause it’s normal sex is never good enough gets mad after cause wants me to sleep naked. I like sleeping in T-shirt panties always have. No sex past 3weeks. We have 2 kids together. I’m moving upstairs to other bedroom praying he leaves. He threatens me with divorce then plays it off as he didn’t say that. Good at flipping his words saying he didn’t say it to make me think I am crazy but I know the game. I believe they would go both ways if it benefit them in anyway. He has tried to talk me into having a threesome. I told him you married me if you want someone else you shouldn’t have gotten married. It’s fucked up. I don’t even want sex anymore. Thank you for sharing the truth about narcissists. Don’t stay run away if you feel it’s not right it’s not believe in yourself and your gut feelings cause they are true. Empath vs narcissist spiritual war we are in.
This was such a heartbreaking experience for me in multiple ways. I appreciate you talking about such a difficult subject because one of the hardest parts of coming out of a narc relationship is feeling heard and seen.
They don't do real intimacy, except for the lovebombing period, maybe when you are "good little girl" to them, when you didn't realize what they are like.
They want to diminish you as a person and break your spirit while at the same time pretending to luve within the rules and values if a committed relationship.
He just never cared about me . . . He actually told me that he cannot match my energy. So I lived deprived for 23 years. . . And the few times it would be so mechanical . . . I remember crying because of disappointment so many times . . . I never ever heard him make a single sound in 23 years . . .
Kevin you are living proof of the effects of the unseen realm...the dichotomy of people is real! Thank you for all you do,your videos have opened a valve allowing decompression so u can reason through what I ve been dealing with...God bless brother.
Dear My Ex Narcissist, The reason I refuse to fall for your hoovers or reverse hoovers are as follows: If I fall for your hoovers and reverse hoovers you will take what you want from me as you usually do and degrade me in ways that I hate and do things to my body that I do not enjoy and feel objectified and dehumanized by, then you will laugh and mock me and defend yourself listing off all your "generosity" making me feel even worse and to put yourself on a pedestal of self appointed altruism, then you leave. You don't like the real me. You're just like my narcissistic family. You make me grovel for scraps and abuse and degrade me for your benefit and amusement and make me be a fake happy version of myself for your convenience. No more. No more🚫.
I'm a cuddle monster ... and I like to feel wanted and acknowledged. If I look forward to being with my spouse I would hope they would also. On a snow in day, watching movies and cuddling... I don't mind cooking I just enjoy one on one time.
For me the narcisist wanted all the time sex. There was never a comforting hug, because it always went down the path of sex and sometimes you just need that loving hug and not that striving for satisfaction. When I listen it seems like I am the narcisist, because I didn't wanted as much sex as him.
Excellent comment I completely agree I wish he would do a video about the ones who always want it and turn everything into sex or the promise of it. To the point that there is no hugs and that causes a complete loss of sexual desire. I think it's a horrible experience to go through for people who really love and care about connecting in a intimate way. You are not the narc! You have love and empathy something they do not have!!!
I couldn't get a hug from my ex-husband with out him grabbing my ass or change in front of him and treating me like a sex bop-it. It's sick. With a loving fiance' now who loves to canoodle, and he is NOT pushy at all.
I'm retired at 47. went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife, $75K biweekly and a good daughter full of love God bless America🇺🇲❤️
Hello, how do you achieve such biweekly returns? As a single parent i haven't been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
I raised 75k and Kate Elizabeth Becherer is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her.Kate Elizabeth Becherer is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!
I had to be in bed at 11 pm to get up at 6am for work. He'd watch porn til 3 am shake me awake and expect me to be ready. Wanted me to watch porn. No. Had to look at girls in magazine while sex with me.
Other that the scroll of obvious reasons I didn’t sleep with my married boss, some years ago, and even though I didn’t know anything about narcissism, at that time. Yep, I had to question, is this about love, attraction, control or even hatred? I had the sense it might be about control. Said, “Sex.” Never said anything else. Didn’t know if he felt entitled, because I worked for him. I knew that, even if it wasn’t directly about control, he’d most surely have more control of me, had I slept with him and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
Seeing your discomfort or degradation feeds them.. it's NOT love, it's not sexy, it's victimization. YOU do not matter during sex. Rather the opposite. Also, having it on their terms, when, where, how, while depriving you of your preferences, also feeds them. Get FREE and GROW AWAY from them!! Grow your life
He actually came out and said to me one time while away on holiday- that if I didn’t have sex with him when, where, how, however much he wanted that he was never going to go away with me again. That was indeed the last time I went anywhere with him.
exactly - all he wanted was perverse, degrading, and demeaning sex. Bringing the thought of others, talking about homosexual fantasies of his. He kept pushing porn on me- I don’t like porn. He kept calling me his little porn star. We did have the “best” sex in the beginning because I was really in love and felt super comfortable. But as I got to know him deeper , it got more degrading- then he stopped wanting to do it less and less. I still wanted intimacy, even if I didn’t like the violence and perversion. He stopped doing anything that served me and it was only about him. Sex was sparingly at the end, and then he went through a fake religious period where he said he didn’t want to because of the lord. He decided to be an atheist but he still didn’t want to do it- breadcrumbs of sex. This is so true. He would always tell me I want to see you have sex with XYZ - “for your pleasure”.
It's definitely a threat to them if their spouse get satisfied in sex making. They have to control over their spouse make them feel they r the only one can feel 100% satisfied in sex...that's why lot of nars don't service a quality for their spouse. Very twisted psychology.
Interesting to me how someone can have that make love experience with someone who does not love them. Im a neurodivergent so that is something I would pick up on and be turned off immediately.
It actually feels disgusting when a male narcissist stares at me as their gaze is perverted. There is no where to hide either. I remember the stare my ex husband gave me when i was leaving him (he had been rejecting me sexually for years and i stupidly stayed). He had a lustful gaze but it wasn’t normal. It was creepy. I got to escape but the trauma is still there and i haven’t found any man since.
I’m about to leave mine and I have said so many times how his eyes change sometimes. Definitely creepy. I hate it. Feels like something else behind “those” eyes. I think the normal eyes are the mask and when it slips, I see what’s really there.
@@Avalexcyn i thought the eyes were attraction towards me when he stared but that day when i had decided to move out, i knew it wasn’t normal attraction but something else. It felt like sexual abuse and i think that was what he was doing. A narcissist sexually rejecting you constantly and then switching it on again and then off, is sexual abuse. I still don’t know if they are possessed by something. Its scary and i don’t want to ever be around it again but its so common now.
I just ended something last week with a narc who was like this. Eventhough I was convinced I learned enough about the matter I was charmed into his toxicity. We met three times. He was showing off about the fact that he had a high s€xdrive. I didn’t hit the roof even once, so to speak. It was a lousy selfish 💩show. I had butterflies in the stomach but I ended it as soon as he started to breadcrumb, induced confusion, manufactured jealousy, ghosted, gaslit me. It did hurt but at least I knew enough and recognized about the matter to end it in time. Thanks for the video. It was right on spot and just in time. Funny to know you are a moaner. We men are many times. Thanks for your open en honest talk. I really needed this. I wouldn’t mind finding out why so many gay men are narcs but I understand it might not match with your public. Thanks again. Respect from Amsterdam.
Never forget the lesson they taught you because it can happen again. People don't realize that you can subconsciously be attracted to those types without knowing why. For me personally I had narcissistic parents and a very difficult childhood, and didn't realize how that would manifest into my adulthood desires when it came to relationships and friendships so please be aware 🩵
My narc always said he wished he could experience a woman’s orgasam because mine looked so much more intense than his. He was also a selfish lover, he’d get off and leave me there unsatisfied He also denied me sex for the last 3 years as a way to punish me
My ex she said that she had sex with me because I made her feel good & safe yet she didn't love me but she knows that I love her that is,why I make her feel safe & good she had sex with me for another 3 years after she ended the relationship. I stayed with her to show her that I am committed. & when I Sid that I only want sex with you. She said good now she is with someone else. & she wondered why I'd kick off at her. I did that alot.😢
The woman I spoke about in our session even tried to do this at a distance to me. Almost mocking my orgasm noise LOL she full came out and stood on the driveway when I was sitting at a communal outdoor lounge sorta space and started moaning whilst looking at me…trying to…I dunno shame me or something 😂 I just thought it was funny
@@joannturi3968 💯…a past version of me would’ve been insecure about that but now I’m like ‘what’s your point?!’…thought about just moaning back at her hahaha 🤣 or maybe she wanted to see it directly 😂😂 who knows! Funny though and also wtf behaviour to witness
So true, narcissists are both jealous and controlling. They first charm you then they hurt you for being kind to them. I think they secretly loathe themselves and hate anyone that cares about them. They are motivated by fear, not love.
This is the first time I have ever heard anyone talk about this this was a real eye opener
Agree
narcisism is complex multilayered disorder: your partner has the sickness but you have the symptoms
This is the very best video I've seen on this subject. Thank you! Perfect description of their sexual behavior. Over time it devolves into humiliation, degradation and ultimately sadism. These people live to rob you of your very heart and soul, because they have none.
What you want they don't give, what you don't want they try to give it to you. Except money.
I used to think his withholding was bc he was half in the closet. I now know he was jealous of my pleasure, *and* half in the closet.
Was it because he was obsessed with the back door?
After 30 years of ignorance and 2 years no contact, this information has helped me understand some aspects of my experiences so much better. Thank you 🙏
They are definitely getting called out in this video! I hope people recognize the signs and get away sooner than later after seeing this. This is not an easy topic to talk about. Thank you for sharing so authentically. 🤗
They enjoy the breaking of the boundary. If you are too easy, there is no boundary. They have to sometimes have to create a boundary just so they can bust through it.
That is sick. That's rape. And you're not wrong.
I have seen hundreds of videos on N and this one is new to me and confuses me! I thought my N dter in law who controls my son and has isolsted and alienated him from us,his lovinv parents is holding him with good sex . Why wd he agree or not beable to see thru this? Please explain ..anybody...thanks ..bsffled naive me
True. They just don't want you to be happy,to enjoy. They want you constantly to be miserable.
The cover narcissist I dealt with for 11 years always wanted to record it. Was also addicted to porn. Would put my face on the girls in the videos. It was very demeaning to me 😢. I wanted to be in the moment & I felt used . He weaponized sex , withholding it from me. Lack of affection , intimacy & sex for years . I lost my sex drive due to the abuse I suffered from him. I’m sure he cheated on me just never caught him .
Dont worry, im a male and still my sexuality also got fucked up by a girl.
Sheesh . . . You must know my ex.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I also had my boundaries broken by him
making me continually do things that I didn’t want to do. He caused me pain- things that still hurt today during in regular life…. I lost any sex drive I had also.
Why would you even be around someone like this in the first place.....11 years ?
24 years with my covert narcissist almost 20 years married. I didn’t realize this until 3 years ago spiritual in 2020 I waited a year to say anything I was called crazy roller coaster ride from hell cause I noticed the pattern. He thinks sex is love no empathy at all. Control over sex I agree it’s sick and twisted yes he wanted to watch porn while we have sex. He doesn’t like sex from past 3 years cause it’s normal sex is never good enough gets mad after cause wants me to sleep naked. I like sleeping in T-shirt panties always have. No sex past 3weeks. We have 2 kids together. I’m moving upstairs to other bedroom praying he leaves. He threatens me with divorce then plays it off as he didn’t say that. Good at flipping his words saying he didn’t say it to make me think I am crazy but I know the game. I believe they would go both ways if it benefit them in anyway. He has tried to talk me into having a threesome. I told him you married me if you want someone else you shouldn’t have gotten married. It’s fucked up. I don’t even want sex anymore. Thank you for sharing the truth about narcissists. Don’t stay run away if you feel it’s not right it’s not believe in yourself and your gut feelings cause they are true. Empath vs narcissist spiritual war we are in.
This was such a heartbreaking experience for me in multiple ways. I appreciate you talking about such a difficult subject because one of the hardest parts of coming out of a narc relationship is feeling heard and seen.
They don't do real intimacy, except for the lovebombing period, maybe when you are "good little girl" to them, when you didn't realize what they are like.
Oh my...mine would always say I was a good little girl and he liked to reference himself as daddy lol!
Another thing they do, is to bring you to full arousal, and then stop. It is about control.
This video is mind blowing. Its the story of my past in relationships.
They want to diminish you as a person and break your spirit while at the same time pretending to luve within the rules and values if a committed relationship.
He just never cared about me . . . He actually told me that he cannot match my energy. So I lived deprived for 23 years. . . And the few times it would be so mechanical . . . I remember crying because of disappointment so many times . . . I never ever heard him make a single sound in 23 years . . .
Seems like maybe you didn't take the hint.
@@VioFaxlol. Savage.
My covert narcissist NEVER consummated our marriage so I was untouched for 20 years.
Kevin you are living proof of the effects of the unseen realm...the dichotomy of people is real! Thank you for all you do,your videos have opened a valve allowing decompression so u can reason through what I ve been dealing with...God bless brother.
Dear My Ex Narcissist,
The reason I refuse to fall for your hoovers or reverse hoovers are as follows:
If I fall for your hoovers and reverse hoovers you will take what you want from me as you usually do and degrade me in ways that I hate and do things to my body that I do not enjoy and feel objectified and dehumanized by, then you will laugh and mock me and defend yourself listing off all your "generosity" making me feel even worse and to put yourself on a pedestal of self appointed altruism, then you leave. You don't like the real me. You're just like my narcissistic family. You make me grovel for scraps and abuse and degrade me for your benefit and amusement and make me be a fake happy version of myself for your convenience.
No more. No more🚫.
are we with same person? This is crazy
You should make a T-Shirt "IT TAKES LOVE TO MAKE LOVE"
I'm a cuddle monster ... and I like to feel wanted and acknowledged. If I look forward to being with my spouse I would hope they would also. On a snow in day, watching movies and cuddling... I don't mind cooking I just enjoy one on one time.
For me the narcisist wanted all the time sex. There was never a comforting hug, because it always went down the path of sex and sometimes you just need that loving hug and not that striving for satisfaction. When I listen it seems like I am the narcisist, because I didn't wanted as much sex as him.
Excellent comment I completely agree I wish he would do a video about the ones who always want it and turn everything into sex or the promise of it. To the point that there is no hugs and that causes a complete loss of sexual desire. I think it's a horrible experience to go through for people who really love and care about connecting in a intimate way. You are not the narc! You have love and empathy something they do not have!!!
I couldn't get a hug from my ex-husband with out him grabbing my ass or change in front of him and treating me like a sex bop-it. It's sick. With a loving fiance' now who loves to canoodle, and he is NOT pushy at all.
I'm retired at 47. went from Grass to Grace. This video here reminds me of my transformation from a nobody to good home, honest wife, $75K biweekly and a good daughter full of love God bless America🇺🇲❤️
Hello, how do you achieve such biweekly returns? As a single parent i haven't been able to get my own house due to financial struggles, but my faith in God remains strong.
I'm inspired.
Please spill some sugar about the biweekly stuff you mentioned
This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. 🙏 I receive this for my household
I raised 75k and Kate Elizabeth Becherer is to be thanked. I got my self my dream car 🚗 just last weekend, My journey with her started after my best friend came back from New York and saw me suffering in dept then told me about her and how to change my life through her.Kate Elizabeth Becherer is the kind of person one needs in his or her life! I got a home, a good wife, and a beautiful daughter. Note: this is not a promotion but me trying to make a point that no matter what happens, always have faith and keep living!
I started with a miserly $1500. The results have been mind blowing I must say TBH
Some people need to know that there are women narcissist that completely cut their husbands off from sex as well too.
Yes its more common than males but i ended up with a male narcissist doing it to me. I haven’t found any man who wanted to be my lover since.
Thank you!!!! So needed these truths! Truth does set us free.
On point as always Kevin ❤
I had to be in bed at 11 pm to get up at 6am for work. He'd watch porn til 3 am shake me awake and expect me to be ready. Wanted me to watch porn. No. Had to look at girls in magazine while sex with me.
🤦
🤦
Me and y ex was so in love that it pains me to review the actual changes in the relationship. Definitely a description of a narcissist
🤔🤔 So, THAT'S why he slept on the couch for the last 3 weeks before I was discarded 😳
I feel so sad 😢
Me too
Yup. Deep sadness 😞
@@ErinP79same here
Other that the scroll of obvious reasons I didn’t sleep with my married boss, some years ago, and even though I didn’t know anything about narcissism, at that time. Yep, I had to question, is this about love, attraction, control or even hatred? I had the sense it might be about control. Said, “Sex.” Never said anything else. Didn’t know if he felt entitled, because I worked for him. I knew that, even if it wasn’t directly about control, he’d most surely have more control of me, had I slept with him and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
Oh thank fk for that 😂
I Appreciate you Kevin......I curtained that in my late twenties! Thanks..........
I had one try and introduce 3sums after only a month or 2 😂😂
Seeing your discomfort or degradation feeds them.. it's NOT love, it's not sexy, it's victimization. YOU do not matter during sex. Rather the opposite. Also, having it on their terms, when, where, how, while depriving you of your preferences, also feeds them. Get FREE and GROW AWAY from them!! Grow your life
He actually came out and said to me one time while away on holiday- that if I didn’t have sex with him when, where, how, however much he wanted that he was never going to go away with me again. That was indeed the last time I went anywhere with him.
exactly - all he wanted was perverse, degrading, and demeaning sex. Bringing the thought of others, talking about homosexual fantasies of his. He kept pushing porn on me- I don’t like porn. He kept calling me his little porn star. We did have the “best” sex in the beginning because I was really in love and felt super comfortable. But as I got to know him deeper , it got more degrading- then he stopped wanting to do it less and less. I still wanted intimacy, even if I didn’t like the violence and perversion. He stopped doing anything that served me and it was only about him. Sex was sparingly at the end, and then he went through a fake religious period where he said he didn’t want to because of the lord. He decided to be an atheist but he still didn’t want to do it- breadcrumbs of sex. This is so true. He would always tell me I want to see you have sex with XYZ - “for your pleasure”.
They want to humiliate you.
Very well said! 1000% accurate.
Bottom line, they can't stand to see you happy!
You nailed it, that's exactly how it was. Pure evil 😢
It's definitely a threat to them if their spouse get satisfied in sex making. They have to control over their spouse make them feel they r the only one can feel 100% satisfied in sex...that's why lot of nars don't service a quality for their spouse. Very twisted psychology.
Interesting to me how someone can have that make love experience with someone who does not love them. Im a neurodivergent so that is something I would pick up on and be turned off immediately.
Some of us believe the story in our heads. Unfortunately
It actually feels disgusting when a male narcissist stares at me as their gaze is perverted. There is no where to hide either. I remember the stare my ex husband gave me when i was leaving him (he had been rejecting me sexually for years and i stupidly stayed). He had a lustful gaze but it wasn’t normal. It was creepy. I got to escape but the trauma is still there and i haven’t found any man since.
I’m about to leave mine and I have said so many times how his eyes change sometimes. Definitely creepy. I hate it. Feels like something else behind “those” eyes. I think the normal eyes are the mask and when it slips, I see what’s really there.
@@Avalexcyn i thought the eyes were attraction towards me when he stared but that day when i had decided to move out, i knew it wasn’t normal attraction but something else. It felt like sexual abuse and i think that was what he was doing. A narcissist sexually rejecting you constantly and then switching it on again and then off, is sexual abuse. I still don’t know if they are possessed by something. Its scary and i don’t want to ever be around it again but its so common now.
That explains why he wanted it so much! He wanted to have control over me through sex. I was his possession.
To weaponize it when the discard comes
I just ended something last week with a narc who was like this. Eventhough I was convinced I learned enough about the matter I was charmed into his toxicity. We met three times. He was showing off about the fact that he had a high s€xdrive. I didn’t hit the roof even once, so to speak. It was a lousy selfish 💩show. I had butterflies in the stomach but I ended it as soon as he started to breadcrumb, induced confusion, manufactured jealousy, ghosted, gaslit me.
It did hurt but at least I knew enough and recognized about the matter to end it in time. Thanks for the video. It was right on spot and just in time. Funny to know you are a moaner. We men are many times. Thanks for your open en honest talk. I really needed this. I wouldn’t mind finding out why so many gay men are narcs but I understand it might not match with your public. Thanks again. Respect from Amsterdam.
Never forget the lesson they taught you because it can happen again.
People don't realize that you can subconsciously be attracted to those types without knowing why. For me personally I had narcissistic parents and a very difficult childhood, and didn't realize how that would manifest into my adulthood desires when it came to relationships and friendships so please be aware 🩵
I can’t believe this mentality! So true!
Thank u for this
My narc always said he wished he could experience a woman’s orgasam because mine looked so much more intense than his.
He was also a selfish lover, he’d get off and leave me there unsatisfied
He also denied me sex for the last 3 years as a way to punish me
So true!!!
Thank you
where is the cigar? I liked it!!
My ex she said that she had sex with me because I made her feel good & safe yet she didn't love me but she knows that I love her that is,why I make her feel safe & good she had sex with me for another 3 years after she ended the relationship. I stayed with her to show her that I am committed. & when I Sid that I only want sex with you. She said good now she is with someone else.
& she wondered why I'd kick off at her. I did that alot.😢
I don't have love for them.
It's definitely takes love to make love
The woman I spoke about in our session even tried to do this at a distance to me. Almost mocking my orgasm noise LOL she full came out and stood on the driveway when I was sitting at a communal outdoor lounge sorta space and started moaning whilst looking at me…trying to…I dunno shame me or something 😂 I just thought it was funny
That's crazy
@@joannturi3968 correct! ✅
@@untameyourflame it's hysterical when you think about it. The nerve....lol. It makes her look like an idiot.
@@joannturi3968 💯…a past version of me would’ve been insecure about that but now I’m like ‘what’s your point?!’…thought about just moaning back at her hahaha 🤣 or maybe she wanted to see it directly 😂😂 who knows! Funny though and also wtf behaviour to witness
WOW! VERY TRUE.
Me too 😢
That's why I came right to the comments. Too triggering to even watch....sorry!
Wow 😮 crazy Kevin.
word!
Realy narcs punish in bed really oh my goodness thank you Kevin
thank you