1. Openness of heart that is sparked by his presence. 2. Earned vulnerability (….) 3. Opportunity to serve and be validated afterwards. 4. SFe exploration of his feelings. 5. Playfulness
Love yourself more, and you’ll attract the love you truly deserve in divine timing. This is the essence of patience; it requires trusting that the right connections will come when the time is right. 🩷
This is very funny and thank you. I am 80 years old, world traveled, degrees in law and psychology with certification in finance and computer science. I have been engaged 5 times to 4 great guys who ended up with nice families. One guy was an idiot whose Parents wanted to keep me and let him go. I am the woman who can do everything for herself. I think everyone can. Everyone has their idea of love and it is rarely the same. Just like people think they can share. No you cannot. Eve twins cannot share. No two people see things in the same way. If you find someone with whom you enjoy spending time, you will be sharing your time. It is more important that you really like someone for the good and bad. It is easy to say you love someone, but not as easy to show it on a daily basis. Too many people go looking for love. Stop looking and it will turn up when you least expect it. Make sure they have a sense of humor as the longer you live, the less you take seriously and everything gets funnier. Most men do not want to hear this, but I have found that some of the best times in life do not not involve sex at all.
Comment about men sharing. I've found that men will test you with a small "share" first. If you fail that test, that gate will slam shut for a long time before he will be vulnerable with you again. So, always gaurd any shared information. Dont share it with others and never use that info against him or throw it in his face in the future. Be compasionate with him, as you would expect out of him. 🎉
He cheated on his ex and got her new woman pregnant. She kept the child and I met him later in life and we married. He cheated on me and used that past against him because I knew then that he has never changed
I just stopped seeing a man who wouldn’t reciprocate in vulnerability. We moved slowly and that part was good. As I tried to be more open, I found he wasn’t really present, expressive, or reciprocal. In little ways, several times, I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t able to really show up. It made the decision to go a lot easier because I never opened up beyond what I was receiving. I definitely agree these points shared. Thanks for the video.
Thank you for sharing your views, its,refreshing to hear as a family dispute practitioner I often wonder what is missing in relationships for men and how to listen actively to their retelling of events, this add depths to my thought processes in working more effectively in trying to rebuild trust, its about vulnerability. I will be interested in following to learn more.
Sure. Be vulnerable. We get it. But how many times do they throw our vulnerabilities and/or insecuritirs back in our faces or hold it against us as some kind of leveraging point when we're down (i.e.' arguing)? Sometimes its better not to reveal it "all". Take it to God in pryaer, or tour BFD who doesnt judge you, journal it, tell your dog. Anything or anyone except him when it comes to baring your complete soul. Those wild years....keep those in the past if he wasnt part of it.
Or... perhaps choose a compassionate partner who will think more not less of you for what you've shared. I understand people have a right to choose what they reveal... and it's a really powerful experience to share the truth of who you are to someone who respects the sacredness of your share.
@@BernMendez Yes, because most people have this endless optionality to choose "just right" and ability to anticipating the partner's evolution years from now. They don't. Women also deal with a pressing fertility deadline.
Then he’s the wrong man if he’s throwing things back in your face. The right man will never do that. Never never never. They will love you and support you. I know from experience I’ve had both. Keep moving on if you’re not getting what you need.
That makes a lot of sense @amyshomesteadanimals - it's hard to be playful if you're nervous system is dysregulated. Getting your nervous system regulated and finding ground again is STEP ONE before thinking about being playful. That can come afterward, there's time and you deserve to take it.
Take my free Quiz: What’s The #1 Reason You’re Still Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
1. Openness of heart that is sparked by his presence.
2. Earned vulnerability (….)
3. Opportunity to serve and be validated afterwards.
4. SFe exploration of his feelings.
5. Playfulness
Thanks for watching :)
Thus is all good in theory but it isnt happening in reality
Love yourself more, and you’ll attract the love you truly deserve in divine timing. This is the essence of patience; it requires trusting that the right connections will come when the time is right. 🩷
Connection is what people want..thanks for sharing 🌻✨
You’re welcome!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤nice lovely medly deeply sweet
This is very funny and thank you. I am 80 years old, world traveled, degrees in law and psychology with certification in finance and computer science. I have been engaged 5 times to 4 great guys who ended up with nice families. One guy was an idiot whose Parents wanted to keep me and let him go. I am the woman who can do everything for herself. I think everyone can. Everyone has their idea of love and it is rarely the same. Just like people think they can share. No you cannot. Eve twins cannot share. No two people see things in the same way. If you find someone with whom you enjoy spending time, you will be sharing your time. It is more important that you really like someone for the good and bad. It is easy to say you love someone, but not as easy to show it on a daily basis. Too many people go looking for love. Stop looking and it will turn up when you least expect it. Make sure they have a sense of humor as the longer you live, the less you take seriously and everything gets funnier. Most men do not want to hear this, but I have found that some of the best times in life do not not involve sex at all.
Engaged 5 times to 4 ?
Comment about men sharing. I've found that men will test you with a small "share" first. If you fail that test, that gate will slam shut for a long time before he will be vulnerable with you again. So, always gaurd any shared information. Dont share it with others and never use that info against him or throw it in his face in the future. Be compasionate with him, as you would expect out of him. 🎉
He cheated on his ex and got her new woman pregnant. She kept the child and I met him later in life and we married. He cheated on me and used that past against him because I knew then that he has never changed
[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
Sharing is caring. It takes two to tango
Thanks for watching : )
I agree with every word spoken.. and I know these things to be true based on experience 🙌🏾 Thank you for sharing such wisdom 🫶🏾✨
I just stopped seeing a man who wouldn’t reciprocate in vulnerability. We moved slowly and that part was good.
As I tried to be more open, I found he wasn’t really present, expressive, or reciprocal. In little ways, several times, I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t able to really show up.
It made the decision to go a lot easier because I never opened up beyond what I was receiving.
I definitely agree these points shared. Thanks for the video.
Avoidant men are super difficult to excercise patience with...
Great. Thank you for giving me more things to appreciate in my loved one. ❤
You're most welcome.
This is so true. Listen carefully.💕❤️
Patricia, thank you for your encouragement and for commenting!
Thank you for sharing your views, its,refreshing to hear as a family dispute practitioner I often wonder what is missing in relationships for men and how to listen actively to their retelling of events, this add depths to my thought processes in working more effectively in trying to rebuild trust, its about vulnerability.
I will be interested in following to learn more.
Very true indeed, particularly when you hit your late sixties. Sex isn't at the forefront anymore anyway.
Glad you found this useful : )
Earned vulnerability ❤❤ wow. 10yr old girls need to know this way before dating years!!
Glad you found this helpful.
Always helpful! Thank you
This was really insightful ❤
Glad this was helpful : )
Perfect explanation. I found my love recently. And we are living this way. It's been perfect!
Thank you so much!
Profound clarity. Simply Gold. May you be increased 🙏🏾🫶🏾
Jessika, thank you for your kind words 🙏
It’s about his (and my) truth and presence. The rest we can figure out.
If you can only imagine:-"how profoundly you can do it"(cause,indeed it's about effort)as an young man,i know this...
Sure. Be vulnerable. We get it. But how many times do they throw our vulnerabilities and/or insecuritirs back in our faces or hold it against us as some kind of leveraging point when we're down (i.e.' arguing)? Sometimes its better not to reveal it "all". Take it to God in pryaer, or tour BFD who doesnt judge you, journal it, tell your dog. Anything or anyone except him when it comes to baring your complete soul. Those wild years....keep those in the past if he wasnt part of it.
Or... perhaps choose a compassionate partner who will think more not less of you for what you've shared. I understand people have a right to choose what they reveal... and it's a really powerful experience to share the truth of who you are to someone who respects the sacredness of your share.
@@BernMendez Yes, because most people have this endless optionality to choose "just right" and ability to anticipating the partner's evolution years from now. They don't. Women also deal with a pressing fertility deadline.
If He does that to you, wake up! You're in a toxic relationship. Get out of it!
Or set a boundary that using vulnerable information for destruction will not be tolerated.
That is an immaturity issue.
Then he’s the wrong man if he’s throwing things back in your face. The right man will never do that. Never never never. They will love you and support you. I know from experience I’ve had both. Keep moving on if you’re not getting what you need.
So helpful - thank you ❤
Thanks you fort talk, good
Thank you! ❤
You're welcome 😊
Thank you ❤
I don't know how to be playful, lol. I'm too overwhelmed.
That makes a lot of sense @amyshomesteadanimals - it's hard to be playful if you're nervous system is dysregulated. Getting your nervous system regulated and finding ground again is STEP ONE before thinking about being playful. That can come afterward, there's time and you deserve to take it.
@@BernMendezyour videos are extremely valuable, and your kindness in replies is heart-warming. Thank you for being kind.
@BernMendez I've been married 23 years so far. Playful looks much different now than it did in the beginning.
Men looks for a beautiful and young woman. Period.
🌈🌟🌾🌻ThankYou!
You’re so welcome.
I hope im not watching this to late
Honestly it is all so complicated.
Your presentation is so complicated