While physical intimacy is important in relationships, the core of fulfillment comes from intangible aspects that nourish the soul and create lasting bonds
Showing appreciation is so big. There are bitter people out there that say “He’s a grown up! I don’t appreciate what he’s supposed to be doing!” This is so wrong. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. I remember when i first met my boyfriend and i said thank you for something, he seemed surprised and happy. When we were together longer, he said that he was not used to being appreciated. He mentioned that one of the few times he could remember, he was outside in terrible heat mowing the yard and his ex brought him a bottle of water. I thought “thats his happiness memory of being appreciated before us?” It broke my heart, really. A lot of good men don’t get much love. Edited to add that, yes, he treats me like a queen. I love him so much.
This typically stems from females being severely undervalued, underappreciated and even abused, while they witness males being celebrated for mediocrity or even basic bare minimum. This is especially true for women of/within further marginalized groups. This is not limited to eros relationships. Sadly, this such neglect/coddling dynamic is oft witnessed and experienced even as _girls,_ in childhood. I hear you, of course everyone wants (and I'll venture to say, _needs)_ to feel truly appreciated, but it can be extremely difficult and painful to be/feel/do when _you've_ been terribly invalidated, suppressed and oppressed. It's a literal betrayal to one's heart, soul, and spirit. I hope this helps you gain some perspective. Be thankful that this is not your experience, and be compassionate toward those whose it is.
Perfect video to make emotional connection:- Fill mens emotional needs by accepting, validating , recognising the efforts, feel safe, understood, ask questions to know his values, challenges?
I hear that! Quick question: Throughout the past year or so, I've noticed in YT comments this bizarre trend of an exorbitant number of people misspelling lose as "loose". Is this intentional?
@@BL3SSed-Bliss It’s not intentional on my part, it was an oversight. I do know the correct spelling but most people I think don’t. It’s easy to make the mistake:)
@@Z8terfix Thank you for your response; and yes, you're right. I've been observing for quite some time now how "AutoINcorrect" (as I call it) seems to be altering words that are actually orthographically and grammatically appropriate, into words/terms that are not. I'm suspicious that this is being intentionally coded, further contributing to "The Dumbing Down" movement. I appreciate this exchange, it's helpful! Bless💚
well if a guy tells you on the 3rd date, I'm not gonna keep hanging out with you like we're friends if you're not gonna sleep with me... Then you can see why we think sex is all they are after...
Why are you with him? He is a narcissist. They enjoy hurting people. Get away from him. Divorce him. Or stay playing the victim. Your choice. Complain or change. Go no contact.
@keyliving3071 I don't live with him now. I get away regularly to another country for 6 months. Looking for an opportunity to get away permanently. My children have left home and hardly ever come back to visit us. Our friends don't come to visit anymore after witnessing his drunken misbehaviour. My friends avoid him like plague because his flirting tendency which all decent women hate!
Is it true that physical intimacy means also that a girl/woman has to be always with the guy to make him feel her presence always because he wants to be understood, to be praised, to be worshipped like a greek god, and be always ready to cater to his needs (blindly, I mean, unconditionally)? She should be consistent with all these or else the guy can just easily dump their relationship to the trash? How weird! I'm sorry I'm not into relationship yet, only curious to experiment what's LDR which will not surely work out given those above-mentioned scenarios. LOL!
When I try to get deep with him he gets weird and says he’s not good expressing his feelings and boy he ain’t lying he thanks me for cooking and occasionally something weird but I clean and cook and contribute in a million ways to show him my appreciation and I am extremely empathetic I’m an empath hello I want more depth more intimacy and he acts like a damn child putting his hands in my armpits which I can’t stand or his cold feet on me and thinks it’s funny and I am not amused by it does he find a different way to be affectionate no he withdraws and throws up a wall it’s gotten old! No kidding we are very aware that we are wired differently but damn just hold me carress me don’t keep doing what you know actually irritates me! I do so much I deserve tenderness and lets talk about us, our needs don’t use a cop out trying to not be vulnerable, equal give and take! I validate him he doesn’t validate me it’s just very frustrating! If I ask a personal deep question trying to work out our issues and I mean kindly he can’t answer he gets mad I don’t know why he’s so angry all the damn time!
Pull back, create space and don’t do the regular thing that you in the relationship. When you go quiet and pull back that’s when they start listening, thst is if they really cared for you and the relationship.
You are not married to him. Why are you stressing over him when he’s not stressing over you…. This is not about how awful he is, but more on your choice of picking men😢❤ you know what you have to do. It’s just a matter if you’re gonna do it
Run don't be in chaotic situations if it's confusing you it's the sign to walk away someday you will find the one that ur heart desire n reciprocate the same energy
Some guys want to be told, "Good boy." Can't stand that. I agree with not being praised as a person for doing what we are supposed to do anyway. It would be better to recognize what the person has done, such as, Wow! You worked hard on that painting! It looks great above the sofa like that. Or, gosh! Your garage reorganization looks great! It will be wonderful to know where something is now vs. digging through a pile of stuff.
@@BernMendezthey meant that you took ages getting to the point. Perhaps edit your introduction, from waffle, before recording. Thanks for reading my interpretation of their feedback.
I'm a bit confused... Why did you get the idea that I'm suggesting showing appreciation to an ABUSIVE man? My suggestion is to figure out who he is, step by step and to RUN AWAY FAST if he's abusive. The advice I share here is applicable to healthy men. Hope this helps.
@BernMendez sometimes they hide who they are for 2 yrs!! Little by little they go from a giver to a taker. I am a giver by nature. And it got to the point the nicer I was the meaner he became became. So I just ghosted him took a to get over him.
[Take My Free Quiz]: What's the #1 Reason You're Single: bit.ly/youresinglequiz
While physical intimacy is important in relationships, the core of fulfillment comes from intangible aspects that nourish the soul and create lasting bonds
Showing appreciation is so big. There are bitter people out there that say “He’s a grown up! I don’t appreciate what he’s supposed to be doing!” This is so wrong. Everyone wants to feel appreciated. I remember when i first met my boyfriend and i said thank you for something, he seemed surprised and happy. When we were together longer, he said that he was not used to being appreciated. He mentioned that one of the few times he could remember, he was outside in terrible heat mowing the yard and his ex brought him a bottle of water. I thought “thats his happiness memory of being appreciated before us?” It broke my heart, really. A lot of good men don’t get much love. Edited to add that, yes, he treats me like a queen. I love him so much.
I'm so grateful to hear you say this and so happy you both have each other!
This typically stems from females being severely undervalued, underappreciated and even abused, while they witness males being celebrated for mediocrity or even basic bare minimum. This is especially true for women of/within further marginalized groups. This is not limited to eros relationships. Sadly, this such neglect/coddling dynamic is oft witnessed and experienced even as _girls,_ in childhood.
I hear you, of course everyone wants (and I'll venture to say, _needs)_ to feel truly appreciated, but it can be extremely difficult and painful to be/feel/do when _you've_ been terribly invalidated, suppressed and oppressed. It's a literal betrayal to one's heart, soul, and spirit.
I hope this helps you gain some perspective. Be thankful that this is not your experience, and be compassionate toward those whose it is.
Perfect video to make emotional connection:- Fill mens emotional needs by accepting, validating , recognising the efforts, feel safe, understood, ask questions to know his values, challenges?
Thank you for this video Bernardo, you have a such a unique and lovely way of explaining things. This content is really useful ❤❤❤
Don’t ever chase men! u will always lose
I hear that!
Quick question: Throughout the past year or so, I've noticed in YT comments this bizarre trend of an exorbitant number of people misspelling lose as "loose". Is this intentional?
Lose
@@BL3SSed-Bliss It’s not intentional on my part, it was an oversight. I do know the correct spelling but most people I think don’t. It’s easy to make the mistake:)
@@Z8terfix
Thank you for your response; and yes, you're right.
I've been observing for quite some time now how "AutoINcorrect" (as I call it) seems to be altering words that are actually orthographically and grammatically appropriate, into words/terms that are not.
I'm suspicious that this is being intentionally coded, further contributing to "The Dumbing Down" movement.
I appreciate this exchange, it's helpful! Bless💚
Thank you so very much for this teaching video. Very knowledgeable and beneficial and useful information 👍 👌 👏 ❤
So glad you found this useful, queen : )
well if a guy tells you on the 3rd date, I'm not gonna keep hanging out with you like we're friends if you're not gonna sleep with me... Then you can see why we think sex is all they are after...
My husband is desperately in love with his university days and deeply interested in other men. He doesn't understand or value family life🙆♀️
Why are you with him? He is a narcissist. They enjoy hurting people. Get away from him. Divorce him. Or stay playing the victim. Your choice. Complain or change. Go no contact.
@keyliving3071 I don't live with him now. I get away regularly to another country for 6 months. Looking for an opportunity to get away permanently.
My children have left home and hardly ever come back to visit us. Our friends don't come to visit anymore after witnessing his drunken misbehaviour. My friends avoid him like plague because his flirting tendency which all decent women hate!
I like the window light analogy.
So glad you found this analogy useful! : )
It explains a lot
Definitely this video helped me a lot.
Is it true that physical intimacy means also that a girl/woman has to be always with the guy to make him feel her presence always because he wants to be understood, to be praised, to be worshipped like a greek god, and be always ready to cater to his needs (blindly, I mean, unconditionally)? She should be consistent with all these or else the guy can just easily dump their relationship to the trash? How weird! I'm sorry I'm not into relationship yet, only curious to experiment what's LDR which will not surely work out given those above-mentioned scenarios. LOL!
Men logic: if i open up clearly, honesty to a woman i will be rejected
Women: you have not opened up clearly and honestly you are dumped.
Thanks Bert❤
When I try to get deep with him he gets weird and says he’s not good expressing his feelings and boy he ain’t lying he thanks me for cooking and occasionally something weird but I clean and cook and contribute in a million ways to show him my appreciation and I am extremely empathetic I’m an empath hello I want more depth more intimacy and he acts like a damn child putting his hands in my armpits which I can’t stand or his cold feet on me and thinks it’s funny and I am not amused by it does he find a different way to be affectionate no he withdraws and throws up a wall it’s gotten old! No kidding we are very aware that we are wired differently but damn just hold me carress me don’t keep doing what you know actually irritates me! I do so much I deserve tenderness and lets talk about us, our needs don’t use a cop out trying to not be vulnerable, equal give and take! I validate him he doesn’t validate me it’s just very frustrating! If I ask a personal deep question trying to work out our issues and I mean kindly he can’t answer he gets mad I don’t know why he’s so angry all the damn time!
Pull back, create space and don’t do the regular thing that you in the relationship. When you go quiet and pull back that’s when they start listening, thst is if they really cared for you and the relationship.
You are not married to him. Why are you stressing over him when he’s not stressing over you…. This is not about how awful he is, but more on your choice of picking men😢❤ you know what you have to do. It’s just a matter if you’re gonna do it
Run don't be in chaotic situations if it's confusing you it's the sign to walk away someday you will find the one that ur heart desire n reciprocate the same energy
Leave
Some guys want to be told, "Good boy." Can't stand that. I agree with not being praised as a person for doing what we are supposed to do anyway. It would be better to recognize what the person has done, such as, Wow! You worked hard on that painting! It looks great above the sofa like that.
Or, gosh! Your garage reorganization looks great! It will be wonderful to know where something is now vs. digging through a pile of stuff.
Hi Mr Mendez hope all is well with you. Perhaps, women are single in some cases because they want to be yes?
Yes absolutely and those women typically don’t watch my videos, why would they? :)
Because they WANT to Mr. mendez :)
I'imagining getting to the point
Not sure I understand... : )
@@BernMendezthey meant that you took ages getting to the point.
Perhaps edit your introduction, from waffle, before recording.
Thanks for reading my interpretation of their feedback.
Where’s the spark notes? Thanks
I like this info, but honesty so long winded
I have no problems relating to men .Physchology degree from Niagara, Ontario ,Canada.
Good to know : )
Did that exclude spelling
@@annsutherland4631apparently not.
Nonsense. Showing appreciation to an emot10nally abus1v3 man makes him dish out more toxicity because he sees you will take it. BEWARE!
I'm a bit confused... Why did you get the idea that I'm suggesting showing appreciation to an ABUSIVE man? My suggestion is to figure out who he is, step by step and to RUN AWAY FAST if he's abusive. The advice I share here is applicable to healthy men. Hope this helps.
@BernMendez sometimes they hide who they are for 2 yrs!! Little by little they go from a giver to a taker. I am a giver by nature. And it got to the point the nicer I was the meaner he became became. So I just ghosted him took a to get over him.
I think this advice is intended for normal men, not toxic ones.
I think there maybe a loss in translation for you
Step 1: properly vette and don't date abusive men
Step 2: everything else
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