great video, agree with nearly everything you said. life is so much more fulfilling when you succeed on your own terms, whatever you decide those are. i've never been more happy and content than i am now, and i don't even make a lot of money. but i make enough to live exactly the way i want to live doing exactly what i want to be doing. i recommend it to everyone.
If anyones parent value their own child based on their "achievements" (basically just what the parents value), it wouldn't be the child that i'd consider to be a failure.
When I cheated death from choking on a candy at age of 5, I fugure that I am living on a borrowed time to this day. With that mentality set, I reckon many of the "failures" heard in worldly - if not snobbish - affairs are of small consequences. Parents should be happy to see their children as long as they are physically and mentally healthy, have enough income to live under the roof, and love them back as much.
I agree that on paper, it is a beneficial, and I think correct way of thinking to consider there are no hurdles, but the problem is you will always fighting against these hurdles if you choose a different path. That would have a psychological effect for sure. Please factor that in the equation as you are going on a different path.
You bring up an excellent point - what I've learned over the past decades is that while there is a lot of treading against the current that goes on, there is a breaking point that once reached, you become the master of the psychological effect instead of being controlled by it. And that flip-flop is part of what makes those who succeed in achieving this state of mind incredibly powerful.
@@foftylife exactly! I fully agree with you that once you develop the mental fortitude to be able to reconcile with yourself in what you define as fulfilling, then you are in an extremely advantageous position. It’s hard but you can get there. Thank you for sharing these important messages!
I'm a Korean dude in my 40s and Ivy League, never brought an asian girl nevermind Korean to my parents, and I'm in tech and have left corporate life for many years due the the politics and because of being anti-authorative. These aren't all games. Just own yourself and you can't change how others think, including your parents. Time isn't infinite, and even if they don't agree with my decisions or choices, keep showing love. Make money. It really changes a lot in those kinda situations to keep having the freedoms without those pressures. That's the beauty of the industry and not guaranteed by startups (that I've lost a bunch of money or failed many times). Money really helps is what I'm trying to say, as much as I hate how that sounds and is gross, at least for Koreans and shit. You got this, and hang in there hyung.
Awesome dude, and yes - money is one of the many tools and amplifiers in life... but just like in coding, there are multiple pathways to achieve the same outcome 💪
Before Covid I was doing art/design (freelance), then when Covid started had 0 clients, money started going down so I took a job unrelated from my passion and after 4 years I quit it, even I was paid a really good amount to continue what I love - ART. It's good to hear what you shared here, it motivated me more.
The "game" is to stay within the lines as to not stand out and be criticized by others. Some people's worse fear is to be looked down on and be an outsider. Whereas some others, their worst fear is to live a life that isn't authentic to them. That doesn't have any meaning and doing something you hate for your whole life just to survive.
Thanks for brining up how different people have very different configurations! We tend to forget about this critical aspect of life and assume everyone is just like us.
If you dont have kinds because you chose something else... You are likely a failure. Kids are the great adventure. They are us in the future. "Be fruitful and multiply"
interestingly, i've come across some people who chose not to have kids and ended up building charities that ended up helping thousands of impoverished other people's kids - to me, they were very fruitful and helped multiply in their own way 👌🏼
I'm Asian American so I'm very much aware of the 'game' you are referring to. But if you choose to look at the truth of what they actually want for you it's probably pretty benign. Safety and Stability - financially, socially, emotionally. So sure you can choose a different path - perhaps to that end or perhaps your own ideal - but at the end I respect my parent's desires for me, and more importantly the sacrifices they took for me to have a shot at those ideals. That grounds me no matter if I'm choosing something different or not.
totally can relate, i did an episode on confucianist derived filial piety about worshipping grades - one thing i would clarify is that respect does not require obedience, which is exactly why opponents fighting each other can have great respect for each other even if, they will fight to the death about a different ideal. thanks for sharing your thoughts!
The one I am writing? =D there are a lot out there... i try to follow steve jobs in the sense that i don't invent but rather, innovate by putting existing things together in a new way. one of the books that influenced me was Startup Communities by Brad Feld
To add on to the content to the video, my feel is that don't view is as one giant switch. Try to see it as 20 different switches. You can opt in/out in any of those switches. Even for those that you didn't opt out now, you can opt out later. For those that you opted out, you can opt in back later. Some harder to opt in back later, need to have to have the wisdom which one is more flexible which is not
The more I post here the more I’ll prolly dox myself lol. NOFX is more relatable to me as “millionaires” that I share my views with. “I define success as not working, and I live like a king” Working for yourself and doing what you love is something that is hard to do in music, at least in the punk rock community. But it helps to do whatever the fuck you want.
Bro I'm a musician and I might as well be a dog shiet eater to them. You shouldn't resent them tho, nor should you let their judgements affect you. We all die alone one day, it's all good. Have fun and goodluck!
great video, agree with nearly everything you said. life is so much more fulfilling when you succeed on your own terms, whatever you decide those are. i've never been more happy and content than i am now, and i don't even make a lot of money. but i make enough to live exactly the way i want to live doing exactly what i want to be doing. i recommend it to everyone.
More power to you! money is nothing more but an intermediary
If anyones parent value their own child based on their "achievements" (basically just what the parents value), it wouldn't be the child that i'd consider to be a failure.
totally agree, but so many are not like that... especially in east/northeast asia
Asian parents and their high expectations. Been there and done that, it can be very tiring!
getting above their high expectations in an unconventional way is the ticket!
very inspirational. Glad you told your story!
Thanks Sean!
You’re an inspiration
Thank you for your support!
Thank you so much for this share. It means a lot to me. 🙏🏼
thank you for watching the video ♥
Who cares about the kind of parents that conditionally value their kids based on whether they are or are not a success.
When I cheated death from choking on a candy at age of 5, I fugure that I am living on a borrowed time to this day.
With that mentality set, I reckon many of the "failures" heard in worldly - if not snobbish - affairs are of small consequences.
Parents should be happy to see their children as long as they are physically and mentally healthy, have enough income to live under the roof, and love them back as much.
What a story - you’re absolutely right, in a relativistic world, even the smallest things can amount to catastrophic failures!
you're a failure if you live the life others want you to live, not the life you want to live
How do you know what you want vs. What others want for you
too many wake up and realize this too late in life 🙏
I agree that on paper, it is a beneficial, and I think correct way of thinking to consider there are no hurdles, but the problem is you will always fighting against these hurdles if you choose a different path. That would have a psychological effect for sure. Please factor that in the equation as you are going on a different path.
You bring up an excellent point - what I've learned over the past decades is that while there is a lot of treading against the current that goes on, there is a breaking point that once reached, you become the master of the psychological effect instead of being controlled by it. And that flip-flop is part of what makes those who succeed in achieving this state of mind incredibly powerful.
@@foftylife exactly! I fully agree with you that once you develop the mental fortitude to be able to reconcile with yourself in what you define as fulfilling, then you are in an extremely advantageous position. It’s hard but you can get there. Thank you for sharing these important messages!
I'm a Korean dude in my 40s and Ivy League, never brought an asian girl nevermind Korean to my parents, and I'm in tech and have left corporate life for many years due the the politics and because of being anti-authorative. These aren't all games. Just own yourself and you can't change how others think, including your parents. Time isn't infinite, and even if they don't agree with my decisions or choices, keep showing love. Make money. It really changes a lot in those kinda situations to keep having the freedoms without those pressures. That's the beauty of the industry and not guaranteed by startups (that I've lost a bunch of money or failed many times). Money really helps is what I'm trying to say, as much as I hate how that sounds and is gross, at least for Koreans and shit. You got this, and hang in there hyung.
Awesome dude, and yes - money is one of the many tools and amplifiers in life... but just like in coding, there are multiple pathways to achieve the same outcome 💪
Before Covid I was doing art/design (freelance), then when Covid started had 0 clients, money started going down so I took a job unrelated from my passion and after 4 years I quit it, even I was paid a really good amount to continue what I love - ART. It's good to hear what you shared here, it motivated me more.
That's awesome, and you are ALIVE my friend, all the best!
what kind of job was it?
@@HarryKamal-c4d An art and science teacher in an international school here in Taiwan.
@@foftylife Thanks again mate, keep on doing this content.
@@mvmartworks Oh Nice!!! :-)
sounds like you had tremendous tough love from your parents growing up.
I did!
What age were you when you had your children?
I had my son when I was 44, and my daughter when I was 48
@foftylife your wife must be younger than you by 10 years?
Your channel has provided me with fresh insights and reinforced my idea of how to live a full life. Serious question tho do you dye your hair..
Thanks, really appreciate the support! I don't dye my hair... if I did, I would definitely not pick blackl ;)
You don't blindly follow other people, follow yourself.
Exactly 👌🏼
Keep coloring outside the lines.👍
Thanks for the encouragement!
The "game" is to stay within the lines as to not stand out and be criticized by others. Some people's worse fear is to be looked down on and be an outsider. Whereas some others, their worst fear is to live a life that isn't authentic to them. That doesn't have any meaning and doing something you hate for your whole life just to survive.
Thanks for brining up how different people have very different configurations! We tend to forget about this critical aspect of life and assume everyone is just like us.
If you dont have kinds because you chose something else... You are likely a failure. Kids are the great adventure. They are us in the future. "Be fruitful and multiply"
interestingly, i've come across some people who chose not to have kids and ended up building charities that ended up helping thousands of impoverished other people's kids - to me, they were very fruitful and helped multiply in their own way 👌🏼
@@foftylife Bill gates does charity lol... oh and so does MR beast
I'm Asian American so I'm very much aware of the 'game' you are referring to. But if you choose to look at the truth of what they actually want for you it's probably pretty benign. Safety and Stability - financially, socially, emotionally.
So sure you can choose a different path - perhaps to that end or perhaps your own ideal - but at the end I respect my parent's desires for me, and more importantly the sacrifices they took for me to have a shot at those ideals. That grounds me no matter if I'm choosing something different or not.
totally can relate, i did an episode on confucianist derived filial piety about worshipping grades - one thing i would clarify is that respect does not require obedience, which is exactly why opponents fighting each other can have great respect for each other even if, they will fight to the death about a different ideal. thanks for sharing your thoughts!
What books do you feel sum up a good path to succeed at this?
The one I am writing? =D there are a lot out there... i try to follow steve jobs in the sense that i don't invent but rather, innovate by putting existing things together in a new way. one of the books that influenced me was Startup Communities by Brad Feld
Are you from Malaysia or Indonesia by any chance? the plants behind you fit our cultures in certain home deco.
Good eye! I shot this at our villa in Bali 👌 which I did not buy ;)
To add on to the content to the video, my feel is that don't view is as one giant switch. Try to see it as 20 different switches. You can opt in/out in any of those switches. Even for those that you didn't opt out now, you can opt out later. For those that you opted out, you can opt in back later. Some harder to opt in back later, need to have to have the wisdom which one is more flexible which is not
You're totally right! One of FoFty's principles is "no big bangs" in all aspects of life... thanks for pointing that out 💪
money talks, if you are a millionaire, then you are not a failure.
i share the same view as this man
th-cam.com/video/-GkyZr9VzPY/w-d-xo.html
The more I post here the more I’ll prolly dox myself lol. NOFX is more relatable to me as “millionaires” that I share my views with.
“I define success as not working, and I live like a king”
Working for yourself and doing what you love is something that is hard to do in music, at least in the punk rock community. But it helps to do whatever the fuck you want.
The more I understand this channel, I realize I think we’re saying the same thing. My bad!
@@OfficialSkankyRich all good!
You’re.. 50?
that I am
Subscribed!
Thanks!!
Maybe you are 😂
Society and parents sometimes are right
They don’t want you become a homeless guy living in a motor home
lol somehow, i'm not homeless and in a motor home tho ;)
Bro I'm a musician and I might as well be a dog shiet eater to them. You shouldn't resent them tho, nor should you let their judgements affect you. We all die alone one day, it's all good. Have fun and goodluck!
Dude that’s rough, gotta love your outlook - totally on the same vibe, don’t resent, respect, just don’t agree… all three aren’t mutually exclusive 🤙🏼