Stoic wisdom. He's giving us a chance to be better. Everyday we are blessed with life. We have choices. Max to mini ones. Always consider the golden rule saying before making any decisions.
as a young woman who still follows some (not all) traditional values like waiting, taking dating seriously, and not wanting to just pass the time with someone I'm not serious with and wanting a COURTING phase, this all makes perfect sense to me. I wish I had a dad around that could be a trust worthy man to help me filter the young men that come in and out of my life 😮💨
Sure thing , buddy Better be safe than sorry There s always tomorrow and at the end of the day , not everybody is relationship material anyway Bad relationships can destroy you so just take the time it takes If it s meant to happen , it will Be cool about it all Cheers from France 🙂
Same here man. About to turn 25. Mostly from being very isolated and homeschooled, though I do feel God has protected me from making any stupid decisions. Looking around at the horrendous culture today though, I think unless I can find a religious woman (and I question whether I'm really in any position to be thinking about relationships at all), I'll end up choosing some kind of celibacy and pseudo-monasticism in ten years time. Anything can happen though, so keep your options open because things often come from the strangest and most unexpected of places.
@@poireauer6517 Pas mon post mais merci pour ta réponse, c'est sympa et moi, j'ai besoin de ce conseil - mais honnêtement c'est un peu suprenant qu'il y a les français sur cette chaîne !
I'm 24 too(25 on mothers day), on the reverse side of the field where I've had 4 relationships[3 years;8 months;4 years; currently a separate 8 months] since I was 15 with hardly anytime separated from relationships/dating eras, and while throughout I was clearly serious about my endgoals(Life-partner) and they didn't get in the way of my own self-development, this video not only personally reinforced my own thoughts but I hope in watching this video as it shed some information that , maybe I subconsciously knew, I wasn't acknowledging - that when you find someone you want to pursue and maintain a relationship with that you assure yourself they have done the deeds required to obtain emotional maturity and firm decision/commitment to stay when the rough gets going, alongside not ignoring red-flags without addressing them before you yourself decide to entirely commit. I personally haven't gone jumping from person to person but in the few transitions that I've experienced, besides the lessons and experiences brought alongside them, I could've saved myself a lot of precious irreversible time. The reality is, if you love yourself whole for what you are and what you can become, the only reason to long for a relationship is for the mutually beneficial companionship and a life teammate, and like all things in life, if they don't add to you, they most likely will only subtract from you.
As a 19 year old male who just got rejected by a girl, this helps a lot. Sometimes you have to be kicked in the balls to realize the cracks within yourself. This experience and video has helped me see what I must become to be a man worthy of a relationship. Through faith and discipline, I shall become that man. Thank you!
A better take would be to look at the qualities that would appeal and complement the type of person you would like to marry, and embody them wholeheartedly.
That's awful advice. By and large men are unattracted to with women who have the qualities women find attractive in a man and women are unattracted to men who have the qualities men find attractive in a woman. As R_L said, look for what would complement that list, don't become it (Kevin Samuels used to tell women who would complain about not being able to find a man despite having a career, house and car "Congratulations, you became the husband you always wanted").
Wow...I'm 61 yrs old...and I'm here to tell all that read this...that what this man just said is truth! I wish he was giving out advice when I was young...it would've saved me a lot of heartache and bad decisions.
@@willjordan3121 the reason why you listen to this guy over your dad is because the simple fact that you dont respect your dad enough to listen to his advice and not want to seek it otherwise you wouldn't watch this and think it comes from "fatherly figure" more than your own fucking father smh
It used to be affordable to in the US! Everything is way overpriced now. Don’t beat yourself up. 1 wage used to be able to support 2 people/a family & minimum wage actually meant something and you’d still be able to get by with that. F the boomers they left us this shttttt n then call us lazy when we’re working multiple jobs, over 80 hours a week and STILL can’t afford to move out of our parents houses. Whether you went to college or not that’s unacceptable and SO disheartening. Then they call us soft when we complain about it. I’m sure I’ll get crap for my comment here as well talking bout “oh boo boo suck it up buttercup” or something of the sort. You’re meant to work to live not live to work. I got 99 problems at 90 of em can be solved with money. Look at the influx of onlyf@#s models. Women don’t know what else to do but sell their bodies to get by. Yes I’m angry. Society has failed us. They don’t know shtt. It’s a bigger issue.
@@zapataboy9377 moving out at 18 is such a US issue, I call it an issue because nowadays it's suicide by debt if you move out by 18 at minimum wages to start living on your own.
@@zapataboy9377you aren’t falling behind society is. This generation has been led astray and with the economy and housing market the way it is it’s no longer reasonable to simply move out any time in your 20s unless you go into so much debt you essentially commit financial suicide before you even own anything.
I am about to be 32. I’ve found the faith a couple of months ago and now I look back at my life and realize: no more dating. It’s time for courtship to come back to society.
Had to reply because I’m in the exact same boat/age. Glad you found faith and hope you are doing well. I learned a lot from my last relationship and shoulder a lot of blame for my actions or lack thereof.
My daughter's mother broke up with me after being together for 10 years. Our daughter is 8 years old. I can only imagine how it's affecting her. I stayed single for about 2 years. About a month ago, out of nowhere, my high school sweetheart looked me up on Facebook and sent a friend request. Since that day we have been talking every day and spending time together almost every day after work and every weekend. We are slowly building towards a long term faithful relationship. We both agreed that we were too young to be in a relationship back in high school. 25 years later, we have matured so much and are very happy together. Being in a relationship takes a lot of maturity, loyalty, faith, and respect.
10:20-“Stop focusing on drawing your strength, drawing your personal identity, drawing your emotional stability from someone who’s no more mature than you are.” Excellent counsel! Even in marriage! Human nature is so prone to idolize, then pulverize.
@@zj871023 human nature is to be narcissistic if you ask me, it just so happens working in tribes and towns and groups benefits us all. Then of course there’s God and logic and empathy which have since bound us into a society which we now grow up learning not to rely solely on our instincts
I think this is applicable to friendships as well. Everyone is so quick to cut people off when they don't align their goals or have their own opinions or can't be used. I think it's worth developing a mindset where you approach people to be ready to invest in their lives and work on friendships, thinking it's a forever friendship.
I agree but at the same time a friend is not the same level of commitment as a life partner. While it is nice to have good friends it is invaluable to have a good life partner. Ultimately most human relations are transactional at the end of the day I think.
I was about to make the same comment. Nice to see real clouds.... I live in Spain and the blue sky is crisscrossed daily with with lines from jet aeroplanes
It's even better in person, the video doesn't even do it justice. A road trip through that whole region is worth putting on anyone's bucket list. Even if it's a simple pass through I-80.
I'm a woman - but I find these videos helpful. While the advice is geared toward men, it is helpful for everyone. I think in today's society, too many people date for fun, not for life. We need to focus on ourselves and find people who have done the same.. It's lonely, and hard. But we will find someone. Much love guys
It's crazy how you feel so grown up at 16 but now I'm 30 and I look back and think wow... I was so young and vulnerable! Thank you for protecting your daughters.
Even when I was 27/28, I felt so grown and “mature”..I’m almost 34 and reflect back on that younger version of myself and think “I didn’t know shit”. I’m sure I’ll think the same about my 34 year old self when I’m 40
Great advice. Since Drwayne isnt dating in today's world I also offer this piece of advice for younger guys: If a person filters every picture of themselves stay away, they're often hiding a lot more of who they are.
Wonder if he was young and single would those statements work for him? I mean this isn’t the 99’s and 2000’s and more women have more options for men like searching for things on eBay, you cannot find it Walmart.
Hearing "No" builds character, forces self-reexamination/self-reflection, tests resolve/commitment, etc. Parents and other adult authorities who don't say "No" are depriving children and youth of opportunities for growth. Kids who never have to really deal with "No" never really become adults.
My father said something like that but never elaborated like this. "If you are not ready to be in a marriage, he is not your boyfriend" and he laughed at me, so I got offended and never thought seriously about it. I got it now, and it would've really helped me back then, if it was said to me this patiently and so perfectly explained. Thank you, sir. You just helped me see the light, I think I'll be grateful forever. Take good care.
What I really appreciate about this man is that, unlike other influencers, he frequently gives disclaimers that he’s just giving his perspective and is not an authority like a psychologist. That, and his speech is unscripted, and his videos emphasize the actual speech and not flashy video editing. Real, humble, and honest. No gimmicks. We need more of this, badly.
In an increasingly dogmatic world it’s important to remember a majority of the manosphere and that type of content is literally all preference and from the perspective of insecurity. This is the kind of talk that helps, an experienced man with his own method that worked and saying you can try too if you’d like
As a 20 y/o young woman who’s lately felt convicted to pursue Christ, not a man and not a relationship, but to let Him unfold that when I’m ready, this has affirmed me! It makes me excited for what all ways the Lord will refine me actually, and how I’ll grow nearer to Him. Thank you, sir! I could listen to wisdom like this day in and day out.
Only through Christ will you be able to preserve your ability to love. I’ve had to learn that myself the hard way. I’m proud of you sister, finding women who live in Christ is uncommon. And finding those who choose to live in Christ without having ravaged their bodies in the process is even rarer. It has nothing to do with value, but rather that in giving up the most sacred part of yourself not only for free, but to those who wish to destroy it. You then give yourself value that is less than worthless in your own mind. It breaks us men down from the inside as well. Life is about courtship. I pray that through letting God act through you, other women may come to know God as well. You are a blessed soul❤
@@halfsourlizard9319Your really good for this grammar lesson. I think their should always be apostrophes. This is coming from an English teachers perspective.
@@halfsourlizard9319 So actually help me out then I was in english honors and I was in a hurry but go ahead and show me where I can be corrected We're going to be a whole lot better if we actually help each other instead of just being a salty m effort
I agree. I come from a culture where dating is for marriage, so adjusting to a casual dating culture at 18 was tough. I was already a hard worker, but the moment I shifted my focus and energy, I built a career I'm very proud of. That was time I would have never got back. Listen to this man.
The universe is so incredible. 23 YO, everyone around me has a relationship, and I was wondering if I should get to dating, YESTERDAY night, I downloaded Tinder and saw this morning my account immediately got banned for some reason. And THEN this video got released. I’m speechless. Thanks Dwayne!
Dating apps are useless, especially for men. They are designed to make you spend as much money on them as possible by dangling different offers in your face and breaking down your self-confidence.
My personal experience…buy a house, buy things you need. Get your life set up before you consider dating. Because trust me it will get in the way of that stuff especially in your 20s. Dating in 30s is the best dating pool. Mature enough. Settled down.
Dwayne, I am a 56 year-old widower who just started dating a couple weeks ago. My date invited me to Sunday dinner with her Mom and Dad. When I opened TH-cam just now, your video was at the top of my list. I have three children, and the one thing I wish was that anyone dating them would have talked to me early on. Sunday night I will have a man-to-man with her father and ask his permission to date his daughter. I love when God’s timing is perfect. Well, His timing is always perfect. While you are speaking to a younger audience, your words mean a lot to me. Thank you.
I’ve been married 30years. We ‘courted’ or got to know each other for a year and married at 23. We’ve had ups and downs but it’s built on a solid foundation. Very, very wise counsel for young folks. Thanks.
I really needed a Dad video this week as a young man, 4 years learning to be happy as a single guy has changed me for the better in ways no girl ever could. I appreciate it so much and thank you for your wisdom as always!!
@@modocroughstock5700 I appreciate the comment! I actually have been overseas quite a few times in my life and even once to South/Central America. But have yet to fully explore this great country, so I took a trip to the mountains of Colorado during this past Winter and I plan to visit Wyoming next to get a chance to see the beautiful country men like Dewayne were born and raised in. I look forward to the future more than I ever have before now. Take care! :)
As a mom of teenagers I appreciate the way he framed this message. I wish I could have had this convo with my dad. You always find a way to calmly and with encouragement set out some important life lessons. Grateful for you and momma and the example that you show to people of all ages.
You mean you're not going to believe him because he has a long beard and looks like he's from "Amish land"? Sounds like much sounder judgment. Glad you got it sorted out.
The voice of reason. After I went through one really bad break up a few years back. I decided I needed to stop, get my self together, my emotions, and just let my self heal. I focus hard on my career, getting out of debt, and well wouldn’t you know it, im 10 months into running my own business. Really appreciate you Dwayne and sharing your wisdom. Lots of young people need to hear you
Totally agree 100%. Young men, court a lady. Young ladies, get courted by a gentleman. Find out who you are before committing to someone else. Thanks for sharing the wisdom Dewayne. That Savinelli looks beautiful! I am currently smoking Louisiana Perique from Sutliff out of my Rossi Notte straight pipe. Hope all is well! God bless!
I'm 30 years old and I just got out of a 6 year relationship I did what everyone around me did my whole childhood and dated many girls I wish I heard your advice sooner but thank you Dwayne for teaching us what our fathers never did I appreciate your words of wisdom thank you
No celebrity is close enough on how much this guy has inspired me.. hope god keeps him around 1000 years and more on this earth cause the world needs more people like him. He's not perfect but he's a great, Great man. Ty for your videos sir🙏
My wife has been a domestic attorney for 35 years. She does 3 times the divorces now than then it's unbelievable!! If you sit down with her, she can tell right off what you are going to say. You sir are so right now if only they will listen!
There are occasions that you can meet the love of your life at a young age. Met mine when we were 12, we sat across from each other in grade school, she kissed me first, and here we are 32 years later just as crazy for each other when we first met. If we hadn't pursued each other at the time when we met who knows how our life would have turned out. We built a solid foundation with each other when we were kids through our friendship and relationship, which is built on respect for one another. So I can't say your personal opinion on this subject right nor is mine, I think it comes down to the situation itself. I know me and my girl would never change anything, because to change one thing about our younger years would mean we missed out on what made our relationship what it is today.
Just a question brother. My story with my ex was kinda the same I'm almost 20 now and broke up with her 7 months ago because she did some things that really hurt me and I didn't see any progress of her trying to fix it. Have you ever broken up with her or did you have issues of that kind (pauses?)? I think I still love her but don't want to do the move since she doesn't really understand or doesn't want to understand the mistakes. But yeah life will show us what will happen.
@@bledizuta8963this is directly from Tristan Tate "if you've broken up or are on a pause, you can only take her back under one condition: that she hasn't ran off to cry to another man or fucked about." I feel that the condition is actually reasonable. Otherwise it's best to move on, build yourself up, and maybe, if you meet her in the future, just politely greet her and carry on with your life. Because the truth is if she's the one, she'll wait and guard her self-respect. If she went off to another man, well, she was never the one to begin with, because you're obviously replaceable and she's not emotionally mature enough yet to understand the value of her purity.
I’m a young man in my early 20s. Never dated before and never asked anyone out. I’ve always felt really weird and awkward these days, but thank you so much for this video!
This gentleman is the biggest breath of fresh air. I've wished so many things! I am a 56 yr old mother and grandmother and who made many mistakes in the first and better half of my life, and with those mistakes there were regrets. I shared these with my daughter in the hopes that she wouldn't make the mistakes I made and the mistakes that I told her about my mother making (who died before she ever came along). But alas, it didn't do what I'd hoped it would do. Instead she followed exactly in my mother's footsteps. When your child gets married, whether you like it or not they are marrying you into that marriage. Here lately I've given it some serious thought......I think I can understand how and why arranged marriages came to be. Parents choose based on their wisdom and don't suffer the rest of their lives because of their childs immaturity that led them into a detrimental and toxic snare that took their parents down too. I love wisdom, its too bad their aren't more old souls who seek it out. Wisdom is fading away with the generations; that saddens and scares me at the same time. We will always start up where we left off, so at least I know in my next life I will not make the same bad choices I have made in this life.
These words are 100% accurate. I’m 39 years old and was single (absolutely no dating) for 2.5 years prior to now. Wow I learned so much in that time, working on myself, discovering my own vocation. In August 2023 I started seeing a Lady that I’ve known for many years and things are going great (marriage great).
Im 16 and this man helps me so much with life. I don’t have a father so I look to this guy for some advice throughout times, I’ve never regretted taking his advice.
Some of us didn’t have an active dad figure, or even dad wasn’t present, so we need someone to talk to us like this. I know you will never substitute that figure, and we should never expect that, but a fatherly advise or point of view can make a difference. Thank you for that.
Wow this advice is truly amazing and I think everyone should be like this! I did start dating at 16 years old and it was such a waste of time. I didn’t meet my now husband until I was just turning 20 years old. I’ll be 34 this year and we have 2 beautiful little girls. I will show this to them when they ask why not and go into more detail about our own experiences. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this!!
I am a 17 year old young man, I like to think I’m more old fashioned as I never really dated and will never for fun and always date for marriage. However Dwayne I think you truly opened my eyes to how naive I’ve been lately. How inflated my head has been, and now that I’ve watched this video a few times over the past month and truly understand and appreciate what you’re saying, and I’ve sat and truly pondered on what it is I want to do. I thank you for your wisdom. It has truly helped me, find my own path in this crazy forest of a world .
Dating and courtship are different. No child can intelligently court another child. And I've yet to find a grown adult now who even knows what courtship is.
Nobody cares anymore. Its combat dating. Its deception from the first sentence and worse, you dont have to be interested beyond friendship. Its a liars society
It's the same thing as dating. You can mess up both. People just like to use the word courtship instead. The only thing that matters is the intent with which your doing either.
Its kind of funny, I had all these thoughts kicking around in my head for a long time and was wondering if I waited too long to start dating. I kept putting it off; I need my own place, I need a more stable job, I want to be in a place that I'm comfortable with in my life before I decide to rope someone else into it with me, etc. So I finally ran out of excuses two years ago, and I actually did pull the trigger and start dating with the intent to marry. Its spot on, with how he mentions the "disposable" aspect of it, it feels like everyone is just looking for that one tiny reason to dump, ghost or cut contact with a potential partner, no one wants to budge on their list of requirements for a partner, and sure I can understand that. But I think you got to compromise at some point, no one will satisfy every need that you have. I'm actually glad I waited until 28 to start dating, for a while I felt like I was way behind the curve compared to everyone else. But that's just my path. Appreciate your time Dwayne and Momma!
Thank you for your posted comment. Today, you've been a blessing to me making me feel less alone in my own sense of "being behind the curve on relationship-forming and how waiting to become a well-formed think-for-yourself, decide-for-yourself kind of person is so necessary to making a good-enough choice when it comes to choosing what I believe is supposed to be a "LIFE-partner."
Thank you for this, I'm 18, got my heartbroken at 16 though I never dated. No one ever tells you how gut-wrenching the aftermath is to the point I fear ever dating in my 20s. I've set my self a goal to not date until I'm 28 but was worried it was unrealistic but this has confirmed that I have the right mindset but also when to know when I am ready.
At 17 years old, I broke my girlfriend's heart as well as my own when I realized this too late and had to end things. A lot of unnecessary suffering... Before even dating my wife (at 20) I made sure she fully understood I had full intentions of marrying her if we were gonna date. I think it was maybe 5 months later that I bought the ring. Ive been blessed with a rock solid marriage. This is really hard to hear also, but the less physically you get involved with each other, the better. (Speaking objectively, I'm not projecting some religious prudence here) Physical contact creates an emotional bond that sets the stage for an intimate union. It's the tearing apart of that emotional bond that makes a breakup so traumatic and reconnecting with someone else so difficult. This one hits a little close to my heart and I like to give big brother advice as much as Dewayne likes to give dad advice. Best wishes for everyone ❤️
this is the most sucker punching piece of info ive resonated with in a long time, all the people that were older than me said this but I didn't listen, until I realized just how draining being a teenager was and also trying to make yourself and your partner happy, definitely not emotionally mature enough at all and I couldn't see that until I got out of the relationships, and focused on being the person worthy of someone better for me. it all starts with you
I learned so much from those heartbreaks from 16-26. I took several years away from the dating game. She found me but it was with alone time in prayer that helped. I now tell my children to wait until they’re 28 to get married.
Dewayne, I can't say anything other than "I love you, man!". I wish more people had the clarity and wisdom you have. I appreciate you, and I appreciate so much your willingness to share your thoughts. Blessed are the people who have you in thier lives.
I'm grateful that I never dated as a young man. Now, as a 27 year old with a good career, I can search for a suitable wife. So far, I got rejected twice, and I rejected four. I'm still searching. We'll see where things go from here.
@@lowtechderrickA prenup is a preparation for the possibility that a marriage can end. How can you expect our Lord to bless your marriage together if you're preparing for a way out?
As someone who was heavily neglected as a kid and continues to be the case as an adult by my parents, this is teaching me so much on how to properly develop into a mature adult. Thank you so much!!
This is another great message to give to the younger people. Teenage years are a great time to focus on education, learn life skills, develope the person you want to be in life. A time to discover yourself and prepare for the reality and responsibilities of adult years. Career, finances, health.... than possibilities of relationship.
Much the same down here in Italy, marriage has really been going through a process of erosion, it doesn't mean anything anymore. And children pay the harsher price, as always. Totally agree, be a grown up first, then do grown up things. Be safe guys, bolster yourself up first!
From one “seasoned guy” to another this is solid, seasoned advice. It’s not a “joy-kill” it’s experience and great advice, paid forward. It’s free advice and you have free will to take it or leave it. I recommend you take it. Also, reading some of the comments here, it’s a scenario that I’ve been speaking about for a number of years. Sometimes kids, young adults or whatever will listen to friends of their parents or people they seem to relate to, an older coworker, etc. You’ve got a great platform here Dewayne to do exactly that.
There are 40-year-olds who are not emotionally mature, awesome advice people need to hear this it's a parent that not many parents were willing to give this advice but after not having had it I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thanks for all you do
Seriously, as a 69 year old widow of four years, this is good advice for me, too. I've been considering getting back in the game, so to speak, but after nearly 40 years of marriage, I still need to see who I am NOW. So thanks for that. I think I will just not.
I think it’s a little different for you old gals, there isn’t much time like the youth he’s talking to so I would suggest just putting yourself out there. Davie you already know who you are there’s no need to repackage yourself, just work on the areas where there may be baggage & put your best self forward. Grieve but don’t stay in it. Move on. Wishing you all the best.
Even for those of us 60 and older, the advice Dwayne is giving is excellent and should be taken to heart. It doesn’t necessarily get easier as one gets older, except that hopefully we learn from past experiences.
A widow is a widow, and isnt meant to date, if your husband was your soulmate, why would you need to go find someone else? It only shows your relationship was only based off your own needs because you cant stand being alone/single, sounds alot like the problem this man was explaining
That is good advice. Could save a person lots of grief. Also helps a person understand that they are strong on their own and their personality develops properly . If your not dating you have time to explore who you are and what you like .
@@Daniel-tx2vt I overthink alot that mostly cause my anxiety making fake scenarios in my head trying to stop that it makes me a shell of myself which I don't like an a miserable person honestly just trying to be a positive person
I wish I had this video back in 2019, learned this the hard way, had my first relationship at 21 without having any of the things you mentioned and it left serious pain on me. Listen to this guys.
Im currently 15 and thank you so much for your advise because in our generation the issue of to be or not to be in a relationship is a serious one and i too was confused but thanks alot sir . Its really going to the people of my age who really seek a proper guidance like yours …
I needed this im 25 been out in the Rain all day work at Walmart saving money for a trip to Idaho never been cant wait to see some mountains i Just want a small ranch with some land
My senior prom is tomorrow and I saw this upload just in time to be a nice reminder to worry less about my not wanting a date to the dance and thinking that makes me weird or wrong in some way
I’m 24 and just got out a relationship I’m in the army and planning for college and have a lot of my future to still work out defiantly hit me when you said to focus on maturing and having my life in order before juggling it with someone else doing the same this this has massively encouraged me to pursue being the man in the future for that person when it’s the right time thank you a lot!!
Well said. The only thing I'd point out is - it's not just a Dad video. I'm your age & some of the most disposable behaviours are those in their 50s & 60s on dating apps (that encourage this churning behaviour for profit). So yes, definitely wait till you're mature enough to date, but also realize that a large segment of the population will not mature enough or develop a good moral character. It's good that you warn young people early, to build a healthy relationship & be aware, that dating is not a game (at any age) & to open their heart to the right person.
I found that my dating experiences in high school taught me a lot about who I was and how to be a good person. I don't think it harmed me, but I did have a lot of painful, growing experiences. I'm not sure that waiting to date would have given me anything special, but may have delayed my maturation process. I really appreciate your message though. It helps teens to see an alternative to not allow the pressure to date to derail their maturation process. Attentive parents like you are really important.
I had a highschool sweetheart, we were together just over 6 years and we thought we would be together forever. over time life got more complicated, we both changed in our own ways and just started drifting. Eventually things got to a point we had to talk about it. Things just weren't how we thought it was and we both had a reality check of some sort. Even though we handled it pretty well it still shook us to our cores, and even years later there's still a lot of memories, what-ifs, and what now moments. Havn't dated since, havn't wanted to. But I'm very grateful for that relationship, as it showed me so much about myself and what it means to share your life with someone. It showed me what I need to work on with myself, although sometimes there still is a crushing weight of a vague idea of somebody I thought was the one. Having a partner is just the way our brains are wired, it is the way we have survived for all of time. Don't resist or hide from those thoughts and feelings cause they will get you, work through them and ask yourself questions. Jump into a relationship if the cards fit, but don't put yourself through more hurt than you need in order to grow and figure things out.
I love your perspective sir. Thank you for that, and I love listening to you talk… feels like a dad just talking to me with so much compassion and reason and openness and love ❤ Thank you for telling us to take the time it takes to grow up before choosing to be doing grown up things. Being given time is so validating…
Sounds very reasonnable to me. I learned it the hard way. Dating immature women because I was immature myself. I may add my 2 cents : aim at making friends and at being a good friend first. It is a long term relationship. Healthy ( obviously you gonna practice your judgement here ). Requires social skills that will developp. Managing frustration, anger. Being honest and kind. Provide support and learn to receive it. You will face challenges, learn to overcome them. Grow and mature and help your friend do the same. And that will stick with you and you will have this set of skills with a romantic partner. Because you don't seek instant gratification in friendship and it is a form of genuine love, with the good and bad. We have a saying in French " A friend is someone you know very well, and still love ".
Dude nails it! I didn't "date" all through my school years by my own choice. I had many friends who were female, and they were just that; friends. The few "dates" I went out on was usually with two or three of my female friends and it was very informal, never romantic or involved, and was always in the afternoon, home before dark. The drama, the hurt feelings, the broken hearts, the stupid games that I saw people playing, and the training of young people to learn that "love" is a passing fancy that you can eventually just throw away was just stupid to me. I wanted nothing to do with it! My first serious relationship, the first woman I kissed and became seriously emotionally involved with, married me 40 years ago this May, and we are still together. THIS. IS. THE. WAY. Not because I did it, but because it's healthy and right and leads to life-long commitment.
As a young man I can listen to this guy forever. Nobody is speaking like this to us no more.
I swear, dwayne's that guy that your dad is buddies with and he just drops random balls of knowledge
If you guys like Dwayne, you'll probably also like 2BeBetter. They do roughly the same kind of content. Love both channels.
Stoic wisdom. He's giving us a chance to be better. Everyday we are blessed with life. We have choices. Max to mini ones. Always consider the golden rule saying before making any decisions.
exactly how i feel
Because nobody is listening. PRIDE.
Having the older generation speak to the younger generation like this is more needed that ever. Thank you for your kind words and wisdom.
🎉 exactly, parents are failing, being more like their kids friends
The first step to maturity is realizing that you aren't mature yet! if you've come to that realization, you're already on the right path.
But one of the problems of being young is that feeling that you 'know it all',,,,,life got me humbled after 40 when it is already too late.
@@asafkomemy40 ain't too late to get on the right track! In fact, you have more experience to make better decisions.
@@nathanielriesterer9103 You right/ but i think after 40 it's a bit to late for kids
Very wise words DingusMingus69, very wise words indeed.
@@asafkomemy Nah
as a young woman who still follows some (not all) traditional values like waiting, taking dating seriously, and not wanting to just pass the time with someone I'm not serious with and wanting a COURTING phase, this all makes perfect sense to me. I wish I had a dad around that could be a trust worthy man to help me filter the young men that come in and out of my life 😮💨
I hope God shows us the way in order to choose the correct decisions, God bless and Christ is king
Currently 24 years old, have not had the chance to be in a relationship. This video reaffirmed me that it is still ok to still be single.
Sure thing , buddy
Better be safe than sorry
There s always tomorrow and at the end of the day , not everybody is relationship material anyway
Bad relationships can destroy you so just take the time it takes
If it s meant to happen , it will
Be cool about it all
Cheers from France 🙂
Same here man. About to turn 25. Mostly from being very isolated and homeschooled, though I do feel God has protected me from making any stupid decisions. Looking around at the horrendous culture today though, I think unless I can find a religious woman (and I question whether I'm really in any position to be thinking about relationships at all), I'll end up choosing some kind of celibacy and pseudo-monasticism in ten years time.
Anything can happen though, so keep your options open because things often come from the strangest and most unexpected of places.
@@Crime_Mime
👍👍👍
@@poireauer6517 Pas mon post mais merci pour ta réponse, c'est sympa et moi, j'ai besoin de ce conseil - mais honnêtement c'est un peu suprenant qu'il y a les français sur cette chaîne !
I'm 24 too(25 on mothers day), on the reverse side of the field where I've had 4 relationships[3 years;8 months;4 years; currently a separate 8 months] since I was 15 with hardly anytime separated from relationships/dating eras, and while throughout I was clearly serious about my endgoals(Life-partner) and they didn't get in the way of my own self-development, this video not only personally reinforced my own thoughts but I hope in watching this video as it shed some information that , maybe I subconsciously knew, I wasn't acknowledging - that when you find someone you want to pursue and maintain a relationship with that you assure yourself they have done the deeds required to obtain emotional maturity and firm decision/commitment to stay when the rough gets going, alongside not ignoring red-flags without addressing them before you yourself decide to entirely commit. I personally haven't gone jumping from person to person but in the few transitions that I've experienced, besides the lessons and experiences brought alongside them, I could've saved myself a lot of precious irreversible time.
The reality is, if you love yourself whole for what you are and what you can become, the only reason to long for a relationship is for the mutually beneficial companionship and a life teammate, and like all things in life, if they don't add to you, they most likely will only subtract from you.
As a 19 year old male who just got rejected by a girl, this helps a lot. Sometimes you have to be kicked in the balls to realize the cracks within yourself. This experience and video has helped me see what I must become to be a man worthy of a relationship. Through faith and discipline, I shall become that man. Thank you!
A true love will accept you for who you are you are still very young keep smiling 😃
u need to be skilled to talk with a girl
Sage advice! I recently heard someone say, "Make a list of all things you find desirable in a mate. Then you, yourself, become that list.
A better take would be to look at the qualities that would appeal and complement the type of person you would like to marry, and embody them wholeheartedly.
Big boobs
That's awful advice. By and large men are unattracted to with women who have the qualities women find attractive in a man and women are unattracted to men who have the qualities men find attractive in a woman. As R_L said, look for what would complement that list, don't become it (Kevin Samuels used to tell women who would complain about not being able to find a man despite having a career, house and car "Congratulations, you became the husband you always wanted").
@deanchur Points taken. I was thinking more along the lines of shared core values, like kindness, work ethic, and financial responsibility.
5:40 here’s why I shouldn’t date
Wow...I'm 61 yrs old...and I'm here to tell all that read this...that what this man just said is truth!
I wish he was giving out advice when I was young...it would've saved me a lot of heartache and bad decisions.
Wish you both would tell my parents that. They seek to act like that's the only goal in life as if i need it like food or water
As a 20 year old who grew up without a dad, your video sir helps me a lot, thank you and always take care sir
I’m 20 too, and although I love my dad to pieces, I’ve found thd advice in these videos to hit home as though it comes from a fatherly figure
Same
It appears that growing up without a father figure hasn't prevented you from becoming a sincere, polite and charming young man. Well done
So respectful. Listen to this guy and Jordan Peterson.
@@willjordan3121 the reason why you listen to this guy over your dad is because the simple fact that you dont respect your dad enough to listen to his advice and not want to seek it otherwise you wouldn't watch this and think it comes from "fatherly figure" more than your own fucking father smh
The disposable relationship thing is ALL too accurate
As a 22 year old single man still living at home with his folks, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you sir!
Same but 23
same but 24 soon 25. No need to rush things, but sometimes i feel like i'm falling behind
It used to be affordable to in the US! Everything is way overpriced now. Don’t beat yourself up. 1 wage used to be able to support 2 people/a family & minimum wage actually meant something and you’d still be able to get by with that. F the boomers they left us this shttttt n then call us lazy when we’re working multiple jobs, over 80 hours a week and STILL can’t afford to move out of our parents houses. Whether you went to college or not that’s unacceptable and SO disheartening. Then they call us soft when we complain about it. I’m sure I’ll get crap for my comment here as well talking bout “oh boo boo suck it up buttercup” or something of the sort. You’re meant to work to live not live to work. I got 99 problems at 90 of em can be solved with money. Look at the influx of onlyf@#s models. Women don’t know what else to do but sell their bodies to get by. Yes I’m angry. Society has failed us. They don’t know shtt. It’s a bigger issue.
@@zapataboy9377 moving out at 18 is such a US issue, I call it an issue because nowadays it's suicide by debt if you move out by 18 at minimum wages to start living on your own.
@@zapataboy9377you aren’t falling behind society is. This generation has been led astray and with the economy and housing market the way it is it’s no longer reasonable to simply move out any time in your 20s unless you go into so much debt you essentially commit financial suicide before you even own anything.
I am about to be 32. I’ve found the faith a couple of months ago and now I look back at my life and realize: no more dating. It’s time for courtship to come back to society.
Had to reply because I’m in the exact same boat/age. Glad you found faith and hope you are doing well. I learned a lot from my last relationship and shoulder a lot of blame for my actions or lack thereof.
Amen brother 🙏🏽
Amen!
I needed this 30 years ago. Better late than never!
me too brother, me too !
32 haven't had a long term relationship yet.
I am glad I didn't because now I am bringing my life in a direction I actually like.
Same
Yes. 47 now and where am I?
Yes, indeed both for my own self and my children.
My daughter's mother broke up with me after being together for 10 years. Our daughter is 8 years old. I can only imagine how it's affecting her. I stayed single for about 2 years. About a month ago, out of nowhere, my high school sweetheart looked me up on Facebook and sent a friend request. Since that day we have been talking every day and spending time together almost every day after work and every weekend. We are slowly building towards a long term faithful relationship. We both agreed that we were too young to be in a relationship back in high school. 25 years later, we have matured so much and are very happy together. Being in a relationship takes a lot of maturity, loyalty, faith, and respect.
any update on how its been going?
10:20-“Stop focusing on drawing your strength, drawing your personal identity, drawing your emotional stability from someone who’s no more mature than you are.”
Excellent counsel! Even in marriage! Human nature is so prone to idolize, then pulverize.
Saving this
Damn idolize then pulverize, I felt that
@@ButtersDaBaller that's narcissism, not human nature
@@zj871023 human nature is to be narcissistic if you ask me, it just so happens working in tribes and towns and groups benefits us all. Then of course there’s God and logic and empathy which have since bound us into a society which we now grow up learning not to rely solely on our instincts
@@ButtersDaBallerWhen’s your Philosophy class? I’d love to join, seriously
I think this is applicable to friendships as well. Everyone is so quick to cut people off when they don't align their goals or have their own opinions or can't be used. I think it's worth developing a mindset where you approach people to be ready to invest in their lives and work on friendships, thinking it's a forever friendship.
I agree but at the same time a friend is not the same level of commitment as a life partner. While it is nice to have good friends it is invaluable to have a good life partner. Ultimately most human relations are transactional at the end of the day I think.
The sky in the background is unbelievable beautiful.
Thanks for the video.
I was about to make the same comment. Nice to see real clouds.... I live in Spain and the blue sky is crisscrossed daily with with lines from jet aeroplanes
It's even better in person, the video doesn't even do it justice. A road trip through that whole region is worth putting on anyone's bucket list. Even if it's a simple pass through I-80.
That's Montana for you. The state's nickname is "Big Sky Country" for a reason.
fr, it makes me want to live in wyoming
I'm a woman - but I find these videos helpful. While the advice is geared toward men, it is helpful for everyone. I think in today's society, too many people date for fun, not for life. We need to focus on ourselves and find people who have done the same.. It's lonely, and hard. But we will find someone. Much love guys
It's crazy how you feel so grown up at 16 but now I'm 30 and I look back and think wow... I was so young and vulnerable! Thank you for protecting your daughters.
Even when I was 27/28, I felt so grown and “mature”..I’m almost 34 and reflect back on that younger version of myself and think “I didn’t know shit”. I’m sure I’ll think the same about my 34 year old self when I’m 40
You felt grown up at 16?!? At 18, I feel pretty immature haha
@@mhow9406I’m 17 and feel about as far from grown up as possible
Who asked?
Wit till you hit your 50s...you'll look back at 30 and realize how little you knew at 30😮
Great advice.
Since Drwayne isnt dating in today's world I also offer this piece of advice for younger guys: If a person filters every picture of themselves stay away, they're often hiding a lot more of who they are.
bro got catfished🤣
@@lucasgallen6726 No, I'm talking about something deeper than physical appearance.
So true!
@@lucasgallen6726They’re telling the truth. Not sure what you thought you did with that comment
Wonder if he was young and single would those statements work for him? I mean this isn’t the 99’s and 2000’s and more women have more options for men like searching for things on eBay, you cannot find it Walmart.
Hearing "No" builds character, forces self-reexamination/self-reflection, tests resolve/commitment, etc. Parents and other adult authorities who don't say "No" are depriving children and youth of opportunities for growth. Kids who never have to really deal with "No" never really become adults.
My father said something like that but never elaborated like this. "If you are not ready to be in a marriage, he is not your boyfriend" and he laughed at me, so I got offended and never thought seriously about it.
I got it now, and it would've really helped me back then, if it was said to me this patiently and so perfectly explained.
Thank you, sir. You just helped me see the light, I think I'll be grateful forever. Take good care.
What I really appreciate about this man is that, unlike other influencers, he frequently gives disclaimers that he’s just giving his perspective and is not an authority like a psychologist. That, and his speech is unscripted, and his videos emphasize the actual speech and not flashy video editing. Real, humble, and honest. No gimmicks. We need more of this, badly.
In an increasingly dogmatic world it’s important to remember a majority of the manosphere and that type of content is literally all preference and from the perspective of insecurity.
This is the kind of talk that helps, an experienced man with his own method that worked and saying you can try too if you’d like
As a 20 y/o young woman who’s lately felt convicted to pursue Christ, not a man and not a relationship, but to let Him unfold that when I’m ready, this has affirmed me! It makes me excited for what all ways the Lord will refine me actually, and how I’ll grow nearer to Him. Thank you, sir! I could listen to wisdom like this day in and day out.
Only through Christ will you be able to preserve your ability to love. I’ve had to learn that myself the hard way. I’m proud of you sister, finding women who live in Christ is uncommon. And finding those who choose to live in Christ without having ravaged their bodies in the process is even rarer. It has nothing to do with value, but rather that in giving up the most sacred part of yourself not only for free, but to those who wish to destroy it. You then give yourself value that is less than worthless in your own mind. It breaks us men down from the inside as well. Life is about courtship. I pray that through letting God act through you, other women may come to know God as well. You are a blessed soul❤
GODS ALWAYS ON TIME and I appreciate you Dwayne
Haha yes I thought the same thing
Apostrophes less so, apparently.
@@halfsourlizard9319Your really good for this grammar lesson. I think their should always be apostrophes. This is coming from an English teachers perspective.
@@halfsourlizard9319 So actually help me out then I was in english honors and I was in a hurry but go ahead and show me where I can be corrected We're going to be a whole lot better if we actually help each other instead of just being a salty m effort
@@c.t.6314there lol
I have been praying about this so for long. I’m thankful for a man to speak love and wisdom as a father to the younger generation. Thank you
I'm 150 years old from planet Nibaru, and he's right.
What part of Nibaro? You may be one of my offspring 😅
Given that Nibaru is going to be moving into our solar system soon, getting a date on Earth will be a lot easier for you 🤣
Never heard of planet Nibaru. Is it close to planet Nibiru?
Glip Norp? Small world(s)! I gotta visit Nibaru sometime.
I agree. I come from a culture where dating is for marriage, so adjusting to a casual dating culture at 18 was tough. I was already a hard worker, but the moment I shifted my focus and energy, I built a career I'm very proud of. That was time I would have never got back. Listen to this man.
The universe is so incredible. 23 YO, everyone around me has a relationship, and I was wondering if I should get to dating, YESTERDAY night, I downloaded Tinder and saw this morning my account immediately got banned for some reason. And THEN this video got released. I’m speechless. Thanks Dwayne!
Don't fish in the dumpster!
@@janelleg597where do you recommend to fish
@@janelleg597🎯
Dating apps are useless, especially for men.
They are designed to make you spend as much money on them as possible by dangling different offers in your face and breaking down your self-confidence.
My personal experience…buy a house, buy things you need. Get your life set up before you consider dating. Because trust me it will get in the way of that stuff especially in your 20s. Dating in 30s is the best dating pool. Mature enough. Settled down.
Dwayne, I am a 56 year-old widower who just started dating a couple weeks ago. My date invited me to Sunday dinner with her Mom and Dad. When I opened TH-cam just now, your video was at the top of my list. I have three children, and the one thing I wish was that anyone dating them would have talked to me early on. Sunday night I will have a man-to-man with her father and ask his permission to date his daughter. I love when God’s timing is perfect. Well, His timing is always perfect. While you are speaking to a younger audience, your words mean a lot to me. Thank you.
"It's inevitable because it's not natural" wow this man has some wise quotes
i don’t have a dad, i come to your videos whenever i don’t have anyone or anything to turn too. thank you for the work you do.
I’ve been married 30years. We ‘courted’ or got to know each other for a year and married at 23. We’ve had ups and downs but it’s built on a solid foundation. Very, very wise counsel for young folks. Thanks.
This is so great! I gotta agree with this guy. I don't think it's old fashioned or it's controlling. Dating is for adults lol
I really needed a Dad video this week as a young man, 4 years learning to be happy as a single guy has changed me for the better in ways no girl ever could. I appreciate it so much and thank you for your wisdom as always!!
Wise young man.. save yourself from the uncertainty.. try and travel aboard a few times
@@modocroughstock5700 I appreciate the comment! I actually have been overseas quite a few times in my life and even once to South/Central America. But have yet to fully explore this great country, so I took a trip to the mountains of Colorado during this past Winter and I plan to visit Wyoming next to get a chance to see the beautiful country men like Dewayne were born and raised in. I look forward to the future more than I ever have before now. Take care! :)
I think the method is to go through the uncertainty to ne certain. You dont want to spend life avoiding uncertainty.
As a mom of teenagers I appreciate the way he framed this message. I wish I could have had this convo with my dad. You always find a way to calmly and with encouragement set out some important life lessons. Grateful for you and momma and the example that you show to people of all ages.
I'm a young man in my 20s thats unsatisfied with dating. Sir you are correct.
Take a long break and enjoy life for a bit… you’ll be ready later.😊
You mean you're actually going to believe somebody with a long beard who looks like he's from Amish land
You mean you're not going to believe him because he has a long beard and looks like he's from "Amish land"? Sounds like much sounder judgment. Glad you got it sorted out.
I became a monk because of the terrible hook up culture of our time. No one wants authentic relationships anymore. It's a sad but very real reality.
@@ZenPepperClubso what's the problem? 😅
The voice of reason. After I went through one really bad break up a few years back. I decided I needed to stop, get my self together, my emotions, and just let my self heal. I focus hard on my career, getting out of debt, and well wouldn’t you know it, im 10 months into running my own business. Really appreciate you Dwayne and sharing your wisdom. Lots of young people need to hear you
Totally agree 100%. Young men, court a lady. Young ladies, get courted by a gentleman. Find out who you are before committing to someone else. Thanks for sharing the wisdom Dewayne. That Savinelli looks beautiful! I am currently smoking Louisiana Perique from Sutliff out of my Rossi Notte straight pipe. Hope all is well! God bless!
I'm 30 years old and I just got out of a 6 year relationship I did what everyone around me did my whole childhood and dated many girls I wish I heard your advice sooner but thank you Dwayne for teaching us what our fathers never did I appreciate your words of wisdom thank you
Yes sir, very sound wisdom. As a 70 year old I find myself too soon old and too late smart. You are 100 percent correct 🙏😊
I'm 35 and just got out of a relationship of four years. Exhausting to say the least. I also wish I had heard Dwayne's wisdom many years ago.
@kyle
Spot on , buddy !
No celebrity is close enough on how much this guy has inspired me.. hope god keeps him around 1000 years and more on this earth cause the world needs more people like him. He's not perfect but he's a great, Great man.
Ty for your videos sir🙏
My wife has been a domestic attorney for 35 years. She does 3 times the divorces now than then it's unbelievable!! If you sit down with her, she can tell right off what you are going to say. You sir are so right now if only they will listen!
A lot of people are not gonna like this message but it’s 100% truth 💯
There are occasions that you can meet the love of your life at a young age. Met mine when we were 12, we sat across from each other in grade school, she kissed me first, and here we are 32 years later just as crazy for each other when we first met. If we hadn't pursued each other at the time when we met who knows how our life would have turned out. We built a solid foundation with each other when we were kids through our friendship and relationship, which is built on respect for one another. So I can't say your personal opinion on this subject right nor is mine, I think it comes down to the situation itself. I know me and my girl would never change anything, because to change one thing about our younger years would mean we missed out on what made our relationship what it is today.
He did say the two young men continued to pursue his daughters from their youth.
Just a question brother. My story with my ex was kinda the same I'm almost 20 now and broke up with her 7 months ago because she did some things that really hurt me and I didn't see any progress of her trying to fix it. Have you ever broken up with her or did you have issues of that kind (pauses?)? I think I still love her but don't want to do the move since she doesn't really understand or doesn't want to understand the mistakes. But yeah life will show us what will happen.
@@bledizuta8963move on brother... You can have a better life and partner moving ahead with higher self confidence and experience🥂💯
@bledizuta8963 you're young and free. Handle the suffering and grow through it. You'll find love again.
@@bledizuta8963this is directly from Tristan Tate
"if you've broken up or are on a pause, you can only take her back under one condition: that she hasn't ran off to cry to another man or fucked about."
I feel that the condition is actually reasonable. Otherwise it's best to move on, build yourself up, and maybe, if you meet her in the future, just politely greet her and carry on with your life.
Because the truth is if she's the one, she'll wait and guard her self-respect.
If she went off to another man, well, she was never the one to begin with, because you're obviously replaceable and she's not emotionally mature enough yet to understand the value of her purity.
I really appreciate this man
He is truly a gift to this world, and more importantly, to us
I’m a young man in my early 20s. Never dated before and never asked anyone out. I’ve always felt really weird and awkward these days, but thank you so much for this video!
This gentleman is the biggest breath of fresh air. I've wished so many things! I am a 56 yr old mother and grandmother and who made many mistakes in the first and better half of my life, and with those mistakes there were regrets. I shared these with my daughter in the hopes that she wouldn't make the mistakes I made and the mistakes that I told her about my mother making (who died before she ever came along). But alas, it didn't do what I'd hoped it would do. Instead she followed exactly in my mother's footsteps.
When your child gets married, whether you like it or not they are marrying you into that marriage. Here lately I've given it some serious thought......I think I can understand how and why arranged marriages came to be. Parents choose based on their wisdom and don't suffer the rest of their lives because of their childs immaturity that led them into a detrimental and toxic snare that took their parents down too.
I love wisdom, its too bad their aren't more old souls who seek it out. Wisdom is fading away with the generations; that saddens and scares me at the same time.
We will always start up where we left off, so at least I know in my next life I will not make the same bad choices I have made in this life.
These words are 100% accurate.
I’m 39 years old and was single (absolutely no dating) for 2.5 years prior to now.
Wow I learned so much in that time, working on myself, discovering my own vocation.
In August 2023 I started seeing a Lady that I’ve known for many years and things are going great (marriage great).
Hope you are married by now! Don’t prolong the courtship if it’s right. Just get married.
Im 16 and this man helps me so much with life. I don’t have a father so I look to this guy for some advice throughout times, I’ve never regretted taking his advice.
With this economy I doubt I'll be able to date till I'm 40.
As a turkish guy who lives in turkey at his 20s, I absolutely guarantee that
Why let the economy stop you? Go forth, young man.
You don't need much money at all to spend quality time with another person.
@@angelatrinh1156 but you need "much money" to raise a family
@angelatrinh1156 not true. All women need to be paid in some way or form.
Sir, thank you! You can say "short and simple"; however, it spoke volumes.
Some of us didn’t have an active dad figure, or even dad wasn’t present, so we need someone to talk to us like this. I know you will never substitute that figure, and we should never expect that, but a fatherly advise or point of view can make a difference. Thank you for that.
I agree.
Wow this advice is truly amazing and I think everyone should be like this! I did start dating at 16 years old and it was such a waste of time. I didn’t meet my now husband until I was just turning 20 years old. I’ll be 34 this year and we have 2 beautiful little girls. I will show this to them when they ask why not and go into more detail about our own experiences. Thank you so much for taking the time to share this!!
Love the videos Dwayne, always there to give some cowboy and fatherly wisdom’s
I am a 17 year old young man, I like to think I’m more old fashioned as I never really dated and will never for fun and always date for marriage. However Dwayne I think you truly opened my eyes to how naive I’ve been lately. How inflated my head has been, and now that I’ve watched this video a few times over the past month and truly understand and appreciate what you’re saying, and I’ve sat and truly pondered on what it is I want to do. I thank you for your wisdom. It has truly helped me, find my own path in this crazy forest of a world .
I swear to god. Every single time my life has a predicament of some kind, you upload and it’s always relevant. God bless my man 🙌🙌
Most people don’t even know why they’re “dating”. It’s just habit. Thank you sir for the content
Dating and courtship are different. No child can intelligently court another child. And I've yet to find a grown adult now who even knows what courtship is.
Nobody cares anymore. Its combat dating. Its deception from the first sentence and worse, you dont have to be interested beyond friendship. Its a liars society
Could you explain more on courtship then?
It's the same thing as dating. You can mess up both.
People just like to use the word courtship instead.
The only thing that matters is the intent with which your doing either.
But you just said there not the same, so what then is the difference?
@@willjordan3121 Different people.
This makes so much more sense than the common dating practices! We’d be better off if more people followed this example. Thanks for the wisdom.
Its kind of funny, I had all these thoughts kicking around in my head for a long time and was wondering if I waited too long to start dating. I kept putting it off; I need my own place, I need a more stable job, I want to be in a place that I'm comfortable with in my life before I decide to rope someone else into it with me, etc. So I finally ran out of excuses two years ago, and I actually did pull the trigger and start dating with the intent to marry. Its spot on, with how he mentions the "disposable" aspect of it, it feels like everyone is just looking for that one tiny reason to dump, ghost or cut contact with a potential partner, no one wants to budge on their list of requirements for a partner, and sure I can understand that. But I think you got to compromise at some point, no one will satisfy every need that you have. I'm actually glad I waited until 28 to start dating, for a while I felt like I was way behind the curve compared to everyone else. But that's just my path. Appreciate your time Dwayne and Momma!
Thank you for your posted comment. Today, you've been a blessing to me making me feel less alone in my own sense of "being behind the curve on relationship-forming and how waiting to become a well-formed think-for-yourself, decide-for-yourself kind of person is so necessary to making a good-enough choice when it comes to choosing what I believe is supposed to be a "LIFE-partner."
Thank you for this, I'm 18, got my heartbroken at 16 though I never dated. No one ever tells you how gut-wrenching the aftermath is to the point I fear ever dating in my 20s. I've set my self a goal to not date until I'm 28 but was worried it was unrealistic but this has confirmed that I have the right mindset but also when to know when I am ready.
Dwayne you remind me of my grandpa. He passed away in 2018. Thank you for sharing your videos with us, they mean a lot.
Dewayne's videos always come up in my recommended when I'm thinking and need an answer
At 17 years old, I broke my girlfriend's heart as well as my own when I realized this too late and had to end things. A lot of unnecessary suffering... Before even dating my wife (at 20) I made sure she fully understood I had full intentions of marrying her if we were gonna date. I think it was maybe 5 months later that I bought the ring. Ive been blessed with a rock solid marriage. This is really hard to hear also, but the less physically you get involved with each other, the better. (Speaking objectively, I'm not projecting some religious prudence here) Physical contact creates an emotional bond that sets the stage for an intimate union. It's the tearing apart of that emotional bond that makes a breakup so traumatic and reconnecting with someone else so difficult. This one hits a little close to my heart and I like to give big brother advice as much as Dewayne likes to give dad advice. Best wishes for everyone ❤️
Thank you so much for this. I agree with you 100% on the physical side. We are way to physical these days way to fast.
this is the most sucker punching piece of info ive resonated with in a long time, all the people that were older than me said this but I didn't listen, until I realized just how draining being a teenager was and also trying to make yourself and your partner happy, definitely not emotionally mature enough at all and I couldn't see that until I got out of the relationships, and focused on being the person worthy of someone better for me. it all starts with you
I learned so much from those heartbreaks from 16-26. I took several years away from the dating game. She found me but it was with alone time in prayer that helped. I now tell my children to wait until they’re 28 to get married.
Dewayne, I can't say anything other than "I love you, man!". I wish more people had the clarity and wisdom you have. I appreciate you, and I appreciate so much your willingness to share your thoughts. Blessed are the people who have you in thier lives.
I'm grateful that I never dated as a young man. Now, as a 27 year old with a good career, I can search for a suitable wife. So far, I got rejected twice, and I rejected four. I'm still searching. We'll see where things go from here.
Don't search, just keep your eyes open - and prenup!!! Good luck
Don’t Be scared of rejection be very thankful and thank the universe for having your back
Yeah I'm 27 and still working on that good career qeh
And a million pound lawyer and legal team 😂
@@lowtechderrickA prenup is a preparation for the possibility that a marriage can end. How can you expect our Lord to bless your marriage together if you're preparing for a way out?
As someone who was heavily neglected as a kid and continues to be the case as an adult by my parents, this is teaching me so much on how to properly develop into a mature adult. Thank you so much!!
This is another great message to give to the younger people. Teenage years are a great time to focus on education, learn life skills, develope the person you want to be in life. A time to discover yourself and prepare for the reality and responsibilities of adult years. Career, finances, health.... than possibilities of relationship.
Much the same down here in Italy, marriage has really been going through a process of erosion, it doesn't mean anything anymore.
And children pay the harsher price, as always.
Totally agree, be a grown up first, then do grown up things.
Be safe guys, bolster yourself up first!
From one “seasoned guy” to another this is solid, seasoned advice. It’s not a “joy-kill” it’s experience and great advice, paid forward. It’s free advice and you have free will to take it or leave it. I recommend you take it. Also, reading some of the comments here, it’s a scenario that I’ve been speaking about for a number of years. Sometimes kids, young adults or whatever will listen to friends of their parents or people they seem to relate to, an older coworker, etc. You’ve got a great platform here Dewayne to do exactly that.
There are 40-year-olds who are not emotionally mature, awesome advice people need to hear this it's a parent that not many parents were willing to give this advice but after not having had it I'm absolutely willing to listen. Thanks for all you do
Seriously, as a 69 year old widow of four years, this is good advice for me, too. I've been considering getting back in the game, so to speak, but after nearly 40 years of marriage, I still need to see who I am NOW. So thanks for that. I think I will just not.
I'm in my mid-60s. And feel the same way.
I think it’s a little different for you old gals, there isn’t much time like the youth he’s talking to so I would suggest just putting yourself out there. Davie you already know who you are there’s no need to repackage yourself, just work on the areas where there may be baggage & put your best self forward. Grieve but don’t stay in it. Move on. Wishing you all the best.
❤ Recently widowed too. It’s going to take some time. ❤
Even for those of us 60 and older, the advice Dwayne is giving is excellent and should be taken to heart. It doesn’t necessarily get easier as one gets older, except that hopefully we learn from past experiences.
A widow is a widow, and isnt meant to date, if your husband was your soulmate, why would you need to go find someone else? It only shows your relationship was only based off your own needs because you cant stand being alone/single, sounds alot like the problem this man was explaining
You have a most comforting voice. Greetings from Germany.
Thank you Dewayne, this video came at the perfect time. I’m an 18 year old fan of yours and I will never get tired of your videos and insight.
This is great advice thank You for taking the time to do this! ❤
That is good advice. Could save a person lots of grief. Also helps a person understand that they are strong on their own and their personality develops properly . If your not dating you have time to explore who you are and what you like .
If u have anxiety u can't explore
Lol
@@GL0DE3Nwhat made you learn you had anxiety?
@@Daniel-tx2vt I overthink alot that mostly cause my anxiety making fake scenarios in my head trying to stop that it makes me a shell of myself which I don't like an a miserable person honestly just trying to be a positive person
I wish I had this video back in 2019, learned this the hard way, had my first relationship at 21 without having any of the things you mentioned and it left serious pain on me. Listen to this guys.
This man is so rare. He is truly a natural treasure.
❤❤❤
We all need to listen to this man
Whenever I have questions this man has answers.
Im currently 15 and thank you so much for your advise because in our generation the issue of to be or not to be in a relationship is a serious one and i too was confused but thanks alot sir . Its really going to the people of my age who really seek a proper guidance like yours …
I needed this im 25 been out in the Rain all day work at Walmart saving money for a trip to Idaho never been cant wait to see some mountains i Just want a small ranch with some land
Buckle up
@@janelleg597.....lol 🎼
This man has so much wisdom that he can articulate for us to understand! Thank you!
My senior prom is tomorrow and I saw this upload just in time to be a nice reminder to worry less about my not wanting a date to the dance and thinking that makes me weird or wrong in some way
I’m 24 and just got out a relationship I’m in the army and planning for college and have a lot of my future to still work out defiantly hit me when you said to focus on maturing and having my life in order before juggling it with someone else doing the same this this has massively encouraged me to pursue being the man in the future for that person when it’s the right time thank you a lot!!
You have helped me in so many ways in one video thank you so much.
We can always keep maturing and continue getting wiser .
Thank you, and bless you Dewayne 🙏 Your stoic wisdom mind and beard are a rare but needed sight for young people. sometimes older folks, too lol
I love this man. He is just so... polite. Rarely nowadays do you see someone who is so polite in sharing his opinions.
Well said. The only thing I'd point out is - it's not just a Dad video. I'm your age & some of the most disposable behaviours are those in their 50s & 60s on dating apps (that encourage this churning behaviour for profit). So yes, definitely wait till you're mature enough to date, but also realize that a large segment of the population will not mature enough or develop a good moral character.
It's good that you warn young people early, to build a healthy relationship & be aware, that dating is not a game (at any age) & to open their heart to the right person.
3:55
Thank you, I really needed to hear that. I’m gonna have to check out some of your other videos
one of the problems of being young is that feeling that you 'know it all',,,,,life got me humbled after 40 when it is already too late.
A lot of truth to this. 40 is still young enough!
I found that my dating experiences in high school taught me a lot about who I was and how to be a good person. I don't think it harmed me, but I did have a lot of painful, growing experiences. I'm not sure that waiting to date would have given me anything special, but may have delayed my maturation process. I really appreciate your message though. It helps teens to see an alternative to not allow the pressure to date to derail their maturation process. Attentive parents like you are really important.
I had a highschool sweetheart, we were together just over 6 years and we thought we would be together forever. over time life got more complicated, we both changed in our own ways and just started drifting. Eventually things got to a point we had to talk about it. Things just weren't how we thought it was and we both had a reality check of some sort. Even though we handled it pretty well it still shook us to our cores, and even years later there's still a lot of memories, what-ifs, and what now moments. Havn't dated since, havn't wanted to. But I'm very grateful for that relationship, as it showed me so much about myself and what it means to share your life with someone. It showed me what I need to work on with myself, although sometimes there still is a crushing weight of a vague idea of somebody I thought was the one. Having a partner is just the way our brains are wired, it is the way we have survived for all of time. Don't resist or hide from those thoughts and feelings cause they will get you, work through them and ask yourself questions. Jump into a relationship if the cards fit, but don't put yourself through more hurt than you need in order to grow and figure things out.
I love your perspective sir. Thank you for that, and I love listening to you talk… feels like a dad just talking to me with so much compassion and reason and openness and love ❤
Thank you for telling us to take the time it takes to grow up before choosing to be doing grown up things. Being given time is so validating…
Sounds very reasonnable to me.
I learned it the hard way. Dating immature women because I was immature myself. I may add my 2 cents : aim at making friends and at being a good friend first. It is a long term relationship. Healthy ( obviously you gonna practice your judgement here ). Requires social skills that will developp. Managing frustration, anger. Being honest and kind. Provide support and learn to receive it. You will face challenges, learn to overcome them. Grow and mature and help your friend do the same.
And that will stick with you and you will have this set of skills with a romantic partner.
Because you don't seek instant gratification in friendship and it is a form of genuine love, with the good and bad.
We have a saying in French " A friend is someone you know very well, and still love ".
Dude nails it!
I didn't "date" all through my school years by my own choice. I had many friends who were female, and they were just that; friends. The few "dates" I went out on was usually with two or three of my female friends and it was very informal, never romantic or involved, and was always in the afternoon, home before dark. The drama, the hurt feelings, the broken hearts, the stupid games that I saw people playing, and the training of young people to learn that "love" is a passing fancy that you can eventually just throw away was just stupid to me. I wanted nothing to do with it!
My first serious relationship, the first woman I kissed and became seriously emotionally involved with, married me 40 years ago this May, and we are still together.
THIS. IS. THE. WAY. Not because I did it, but because it's healthy and right and leads to life-long commitment.
“Give yourself the time it takes to grow up before you start to do adult things”
It’s like he’s talking to me 🥹 thank you Dwayne