"Balanced regret is what helps you become a better person. Unbalanced guilt is what destroys you." This is probably one of the most powerful things I have ever heard said. This is a wonderful quote.
I don't even know how I found this guy. I'm in massachusetts and I work in tech. I don't own a gun. I don't ride a horse. I'm a guy in a city, clean shaven, works in an office and I have to think how many years I haven't seen a horse. Me and this guy couldn't be the more opposite type of people. Something about this guy I thought wasn't still real, is still a lifestyle that people in my country can live, stirs something in me as human being and as an american. I love this guy's philosophy on life. I can totally get why so many people like him. I'm guilty of a lot of this arrogance. Dwayne, I heard you. I'm going to try to apply some of this, in my own way. As much as I can. Thank you.
I grew up with men and women like this. Been outside of the Midwest on occasion I can count on one hand. I'm happy he's still around and expressing his experiences and opinions. I'm glad people are hearing him who hasn't experienced a person like him and can listen to and appreciate his stories. I also have no idea how I found his channel... Other than that he's wise and people appreciate his videos. Every time I watch a new video I feel like I've learned something important. I'm glad other people experience something too. I also don't own any guns, I have lived near a big city for decades. I don't smoke. None of that matters because he wouldn't judge you for any of that. In my opinion. People like him deserve to be in government... But Businessmen pushed them out. I'm going to try battling my unbalanced regret a little harder thanks to this man.
When you're literally just sitting and talking-no editing, no special effects, no clowning around to entertain, no talking fast to keep people engaged - and people attentively listen, watch, and subscribe, that is what happens when someone actually has something of true value to say. This guy is the real deal. I'm not fan boying; it's simply refreshing to see this still exists.
The fast talking edited clowns have the exact opposite effect on me 😅😅 I get bored or irritated, and don’t really here what they are saying , not that I probably miss anything 😏
key word; mature. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that those I know in my age group have not matured in any way. Or said another way, they have aged like milk. As they get older they get more bitter, more angry, more selfish, more entitled, and less happy. Funny how entitlement, anger, and unhappiness go together.
@@nco_gets_it as someone of having a crisis turning 29 this year, that's one of my biggest fear. I don't want getting jaded and bittered as I get older. any tips I can learn to be a better person like yours?
What about when you see it in your youth.... I'm unfortunate enough to be VERY self aware.... but i ALWAYS catch my mistakes... only because they HAUNT ME!
@@mlancholia3920 Younger man here.... i'm 20 right now but i've found solace in Writing (music both composing but also writing lyrics) reflective and introspective writing.... exercise, not just weights or running, but if you can strike a bag that gets a lot of stuff out for sure.... seek the woods, seek rivers, lakes, nature trails, go hiking in mountains or wilderness.... start hunting I've had my life saved from a deep depression bordering suicide (put an empty gun in my mouth at one point just to know what it would feel like) The woods saved my life very truly If I didn't have guitar, guns, and the woods i would NOT be here today. God bless you
I’m so happy you’re still making these sir. I am a young man (30) who grew up without either parents, and no real male role models in my life. I look at you as such, and I I’m sure I am not the only one. Thank you for everything.
Dude I've been in the same boat as you. I never grew up with my parents but with my grandparents. I had no real male role model in my life either, even though my grandfather helped raise me but he wasn't a father figure because he never took the time to be a man and teach me the things to become a man. I've made many bad decisions and I regret all of them but this man here has been lifting me up of my knees to become the man I need to be. BTW I'm 30 as well. 😅 This man is a God send.
Regret is one of the most important elements in healthy growth. As you point out, without regret there is no growth - simply death. At 74 I have many regrets, but I am more humble, more empathetic, more aware of my place in life and empowered to be a better human being - a kinder, less selfish person. I enjoy life. Thank you Dwane for your insight
As an 18-year-old Puerto Rican girl, I never thought I'd have much in common with you, but since discovering this channel I have come to greatly appreciate your wisdom and perspective. Though we each see the world in different ways, I find myself resonating with much of what you have to say. Scrolling through the comments section I see so many people from all age groups, genders, backgrounds and experiences, and I think there's something beautiful about how we're all brought together by this man talking about horses and life. Thank you for your content!
Thank you so much for your wonderful videos. I have learned how to make a delicious breakfast and listened to your great wisdom and advice. Best wishes to you and Momma. A 😅huge fan from Ontario, Canada.
Same here. Today I'm thinking about my ex who I lost in 2019. I can't get over her. It was my fault almost entirely that it didn't work out, but she's happy now, as far as I know.
You know..I am in Kenya , African descent..and I dunno how, but something made me click one of his videos and I just keep on coming back. Some great wisdom shared. Am humbled sir.
@@InTexasMatt correct and refusing to because they don't acknowledge their own shortcomings. To them it tends to be everyone's fault on every matter possible. Its truly a sad reality. The world around you gets better after you win the war against yourself
I grew up without a dad but my best friend had some actual old Texas Cowboy uncles who taught me some common sense and responsibility just by example. The basically said "boy you got some tough breaks but you're gonna have to learn to be a man anyway". Dwayne reminds me of those guys so much.
i said today in therapy "i regret almost everything in my life". and its true, ive made mistake after mistake, ive caused hurt after hurt. i hate it(and im learning to not let it define me) but regret is really important for learning, and honestly shows you care, just dont drown in your regrets and forget to live people. im guilty of that too. forgive yourself, do what you can to make things right, and move on.
"Balanced regret is what helps you become a better man. Unbalanced guilt is what destroys you." I joined the military a few years ago because nothing else in my life seemed to be working out at the time. Almost every single day I was in basic training, I thought about the unbelievable and disgusting things I said to my family, friends, and girlfriends over the years. I wrote a letter to my stepfather basically apologizing for the grief I gave him all up until that point. At the end, I stop referring to him by his first name, and I called him dad for the first time in my life. He cried reading it. I'm currently on my third deployment to the middle east. I think about things like that every night before I go to sleep, promising I won't repeat those mistakes. Because I don't want to leave this world on bad terms with anyone that I love. Thanks for this video, Dwayne. I really needed to hear this, just hear someone say it out loud. Thank you.
Unfortunately, I live in Regret on a daily basis. The poor decisions I made really affect life. I wish i could do a "Do Over" and make better choices. The biggest Non-Regret is getting my 4 legged Family Members. They have made me the happiest I could ever be. No "human" can or would be able to give me the kind of happiness that the 4 Legged Family Members give me everyday. They truly, truly, are God's gift. They always love without condition. ❤❤
I agree. We can't live completely without regret and to my mind people who claim to do so are lying to themselves. The trick is just not to let your regrets haunt you and make you a worse man. Move past them in productive ways and use them to become a better man. And most importantly don't dwell on them too often. But living without regret fully is for most people dishonest to themselves and to some promotes a mindset that they've made no mistakes in life so they go on making mistakes. The truth is we can never fully say if not making a choice we regret would've actually made our lives better. I can't say mistakes I've made in my past haven't led to a better future for me because I can't see into a crystal ball. But I know damn well when I've made a mistake, done something I know I shouldn't've or acted in a way that makes me ashamed of who I was. And that's what I think my true regrets are. I try not to dwell on them because I know I'm a better man now, but I still regret them and use that regret to fuel me to act differently in the present.
i did the best i could. i made the decision i thought was best in the moment, and now i know. i will be better. its ok to be foolish. its not ok to stay foolish. theres no need to bully yourself into making you feel guilty over and over again over something that is now in the past. allow yourself foregiveness and allow yourself to move on.
There are some who live in the present who can utterly sidestep regret when they trust it is all a given. Even hurting someone could easily be, and with an honest person as a result of, karmic debt... all necessary experience from life to life to ultimately exhaust all experience in this kindergarten. We can all say I aught not to have said, thought or done such and such but really, what do we know? Lol
I have no problems with having regrets and thinking about things I could have done differently. But I never let that consume my soul and stop me from living. And I don’t let that ruin my future.
Regret is our guideline! If you did something you regret, don't do it again. Every time you regret something you did, you know that you can't do it again; it's wrong, your conscience is telling you, you just need to listen! Much love from Brazil 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
I used to have regrets, but now I see them as lessons rather than disappointments. I still grow from the lessons, I simply don't let them disappoint me. Regret is a frame. Why not use the frame of wisdom instead. The lesson is what's important. If you learn the lesson, the "regret" has served its purpose and can be let go. I don't say, "I wish I would have done better." Instead, I say, "I've learned a better way to do it." Good video. Thank you for the wisdom.
Thank you for this. I started to act like an asshole because of how people treated me. But the people around me do not deserve that. I’ve had big regrets for how I was with them.
I have MANY regrets from choices I made when I was younger. Because of that, I now have a beautiful life and great relationships with my kids and grandchildren. Never be too proud to admit you’ve made mistakes, but don’t carry them around like a badge of shame. Move on and get on with the amazing life God has in store for you!
Im 20 years old, Finding this video was like finding diamonds under rubble, I'll be honest, i made soooo many mistakes that affected parts of my life and affected others. Whether it was at work or home, I didnt know how to handle certain situations, did what i thought was right at the time, didnt seek help on certain stuff as i wanted to "think on my own", and look back now with a good bit of great but also a place of trying to mature, experience and dilligence. i fully understand why you say we can't keep saying "i have no regrets" because we all make mistakes, learn and grow till the day we die and there are times where we look back on poor decisions with regret. Glad to find this at a young age because it's gonna help me and those around me for the long run as i realized i had people closed to me who had the no regrets mindset and never took a look at how things affected us in the family. I would rather die than live that kind of life tbh, so its better i learn all this now and apply for the better. Thank you dewayne
Regret is the extreme of making mistakes. Mistakes are lessons. Regrets are lessons we study more than simple mistakes. To enforce them, to be better people. Keep them close to your heart, for as soon as they are far, you will be serving the self. We battle not with flesh and blood. Amen
I have plenty of regrets. Every morning I thank God for the new day and for all the days that I’ve had. The wins and the lessons. One of the 12 steps is to make amends. I’ve tried to make amends for the people that regret having hurt. Thank you for your wisdom, Duayne.
Dwayne exactly. If someone doesn’t have any regrets in life, I wouldn’t want to be part of them either. You can’t go back and fix what you didn’t do right yesterday, but you can move on forward today and not make those bad choices🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Amen. Great teaching. I agree. I know I'm a 64 year old woman that has regrets. But I've moved on, I must say, with the help of Jesus. But everyone can make the choice to acknowledge or ignore the things purposely or not purposely done in our lives. And it's always the best to confess them and move on with a clean slate so to speak. God bless you and momma, Dwayne.
i have to confess that i have abandoned my friends because i did not know what to do everything was messed up and was not clear and yes, i feel regret, i regret that
There is someone who I miss beyond words!!!! I regret my immature ways when I was younger, how a medicine I was prescribed made me act really awful for many years. I was aware of it but didn't have much control over it. In addition to having lived a really hard life in the foster care system and adopted by a family who didn't accept me, made life harder for me. I deeply regret how I acted because it wasn't fair or right to him. He knew me after that though too thankfully, the real me!!!! I hope he can think more and more of the good. I'm still here. I will forever be here. I love you ErBear!
No I had been on Adderall and straterra at different points. I decided one day I hated how it made me feel so I quit taking it. I remember almost passing out from tiredness when I quit taking it, but eventually everything went back to normal. Well at least I think, who is to say what the lasting effects where. Don't think I even needed to be on them in the first place, but like every kid in the 90s seems like they where prescribed that stuff.
@@ThatAnimalChannel Thanks for your response. That's ironic, because my doctor wanted to put me on Adderall if my Guafacine didn't work. It sounds like you went through hell with that medicine. I asked if you were taking Klon*pin because that medicine will put you through hell too.
Thank you Mr Dwayne. I needed to hear that today. Im going thru a lot of regrets and hard times right now. And i really needed to hear that its ok to have regrets but dont let them beat me down into the miserable person i was. Being that person cost me SO MUCH. it cost me more than just respect and my dignity. It cost me my wife and my children. It cost me EVERYTHING when i was living with the " NO REGRET" attitude. Whatever i did I did and i didnt think of anyone but me. And now I'm all i have. And its a struggle to just not give in and end it all. Everyday. The only thing that keeps me going is that if i give in i have NO CHANCE to ever fix it or get them back. But if I fight and turn it to god and he puts videos like yours on here the moment i was failing this fight. I know that a slim chance is a lifetime better than no chance. Thank you sir, for everything. You are im my prayers. Thank you for being there when i truly did need it ❤
I'm 53 and you're right on about this. I've worked on myself all along the way as I learned. If you recognize it you're a decent human being. Enjoy that coffee and good cigar! Well said!
I am from Turkey, watching a horse trainer for his wisdom. I only rode horse 2 times in my life, still watching horse training videos. because even when this man talks about horses in his videos, he says things that one can be inspired of. You're letting me face my own problems that I am afraid of. Your look to this world is more different than what they pumping us from social media. They take one away from real world. A good man is a good man everywhere in the world, and the rules are more or less clear. You're making me remember this rules or learn this rules. Thank you for reminding us the most important thing in the world: being a good man. Modern world makes you forget how to be.
Thank you for helping me get my head clear on that, as a born-again Christian I was feeling like I'm being called to no longer look backward and have regrets, and just try to focus on the lessons learned. But I'm realizing that regrets and memories of failure can help me to be a better man moving forward, in that regard they are a blessing from above.
@4:33 - yes 💯I think about a former friend of mine when you mention this. He's well into his 40's and has spent MOST of his life Disappointing others including his own Parents. He consistently says "I have no Regrets and/or what the Fu%! do I care?" I do believe he's a Sociopath by definition. I'm glad he's not part of my life any longer. You are incredibly wise sir, another great video. This is a BIG LESSON for our Youth!!
The timing of this video coming into my life is heaven sent. I am 23 years old and just had my girlfriend of 2 years block me on everything last night. It was 99.9% all my fault. I made some mistakes and i hurt her real bad. In a society where having “no regrets” is so normalized ive always felt bad beating myself up repeatedly over my regrets. I know im young minded and have so much maturing to do, but this video made me feel alot better about things. I know everyday that passes by i will regret hurting the people i did wrong in the past, but going forward ill always remember i am not the man i used to be.
I remember when y'all had 200 subs. Y'all really took off here lately. Y'all are such good people and I wish y'all all the love and happiness and success that life can bring.
I have always tried to have "no regrets". By that I mean, when regret would rear it's ugly head I would think on it, realize what went wrong and not repeat the same mistakes in the future. In essence learning and growing from realizing regret. Once realized, I can let go of the regret having learned what not to do and therefore having "no regrets". Letting go of regrets is good self preservation as opposed to not having regret at all. Never thought of the no regrets moto quite like you describe but now I know. Thank you Dwayne. I thoroughly enjoy your videos!
My father killed a man. He went to prison. After prison, he told me several times that he did not regret what he done---to killed an innocent person. My dad died a few years ago. He went to his grave without a clear conscience. No regret = no clear conscience. God bless.
Sometimes I watch videos where they interview older people to learn from their wisdom. Often a question comes up about what kind of regrets they have from their life. I have found it very very surprising when seniors answer that they have "no regrets" OR some will answer to the effect "I regret i didn't do more travelling", or pursue some other personal interest. When I listen to this kind of supposed wisdom from the seniors interviewed, my esteem for them drops to nearly nothing and I shake my head in disbelief. On the other hand, there's those with the humility to acknowledge regrets. I myself have many regrets and it would be nice to finish my life without accruing more.
That was strong and hit me like a brick. Thank you for that to-the-point and important message. I took it like a lesson and realized that regret is not to be avoided but realized and learnt from.
the inanimate object comment is amazing. aristotle says "they produce effects, as fire burns, without knowing what they are doing." and that the difference comes in having reasoning & explanations for why you do what you do- cant do that without reflecting. so amazing as usual
I love all of your video's, but this one is one of the best! I couldn't agree more, so many people disregard how they treat others. This is a powerful message that is really needed today!
A lot of men in Australia say they have no regrets as some form of Hero talk. It's refreshing to hear an actual man correct this Myth. Good on you. Tim Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
Your videos have been extremely eye opening. I'm still rather young and unexperienced , and I've taken up the "no regrets" mentality and I have truly started regretting that. Thank you for these videos as they are really helpful and insightful.👍👍
Now that I watched this video, I realise a few regrets I didn't really thought of much and their consequences to other people. While I'm still young, that does not excuse anything. I need to think about other people more and how my actions have consequences for them. On the job, at school and in the future, I will try and think of other people more. Thank you Dwayne for showing this to me!
Hi Dewayne. This explanation clearly gives me a deeper understanding. Swimming upstream.... I visualize salmon jumping against powerful current in a raging river. Most make it through. Others do not. Thats how I feel. So regret is a teaching tool❤
Appreciate your content. There are not many channels I watch that actually grab my attention like yours. As said in previous comments, no filters, no jump cuts. It is refreshing to watch/listen too. Thanks 👍
Again, I don’t know how or why you are on my feed. I am glad to have listened to your talk. Your message is very wise and true. I wish young men like my teenage son would find your channel and listen to your message. I feel that there are too many oppotunistic males that pretend to be decent and kind hearted and prey on young males looking for a role model. As a mother, I cannot fathom a world in which older males are leading younger generations into this angry, hateful, prideful, arrogance, and won’t take responsibility for himself and the world he will inherit. It’s just sad. We need to do better to guide and teach our sons and men to continue to lead, to give back, to build and create, and to show more empathy and mercy for those less fortunate.
Thank you for these thoughts. I so enjoy your videos. Wayne you are a modern day Marcus Aurelius'. I love reading his meditations, and I love watching your videos for the same reasons. Wisdom! I wish to be better and wiser man than I was yesterday and you help. Thanks again and keep these coming.
I love the part about putting your horse on the best path, and taking care to do the best with him/her. Some of the ppl that are good hands on a horse are not good hands if they ain't riding a great horse
I’ve been taking advice from this man since age 14. I am now 17 and have found that I have a big regret in life so far. It happened last march when I was still 16. I’ve since learned to deal with it and learned not to make that mistake again. Hearing him talk about it makes me feel better and is quite relatable too.
Dwayne, thanks for addressing regret so thoroughly as both a strength and a potential downfall. I strongly dislike when someone says "It is what it is" to dismiss themselves from owning a problem or mistake. I tell them "no, it is what you/we/i made it". Its a huge piece of having responsibility.
@@betht7591 Disagree. Regret is sorrow for a past mistake that was not intentional. Guilt is sorrow for knowingly hurting another. Regret is for decisions that had bad outcomes when you had no reason to expect them. Guilt is for decisions that resulted in bad outcomes when you did expect them
@@GentlemanJack295 Why feel sorrow in the case of regret about something we can never change? To me, regret is useless energy. I can accept lessons learned, but the word regret doesn't help. I learned this from experience. I am one of the most caring person. I feel regret when I sin but I come to Jesus for forgiveness and he takes my guilt and regret away. So I do not regret anymore
@@GentlemanJack295why regret when we can't change our pasts? I'm an honest person. I don't regret because I confess my sins to Jesus. I believe in lessons learned, by not regret.
its been almost 2 years since i discovered this channel and I come back to it every now and then because of the way it causes me to think through the things that are always on my mind so when the load gets to be particularly heavy Its wonderful to be able to have access to the knowledge of someone who has lived more life than I have FOR FREE
That person sitting around the fire that says "I have no regrets because everything that happened made me who I am today" may be expressing similar thoughts as you, but perhaps are using different words. It's that "because everything that happened made me who I am today" part, right? They seem to recognize that mistakes can be learned from.
Exactly i think it could be very similar thoughts. Because if you didn't do it you would just do it to someone else, but ofcourse you should regret it still. that's the whole reason you learned from it
I truly have regrets for a lot of things I did, things I didn't do, things I allowed myself to get into. However I say this if I hadn't been through all of that I wouldn't be where I'm at now. I listen to others with an open mind and open heart. It is only by the grace and mercy of God.
Regret , and Repent . We are ALL human . We ALL make mistakes . And we learn and grow from them . Ask forgiveness or apologize when possible , and never do it again . If we do this and not allow regret ro destroy us , it becomes our future salvation from self destruction . Or the destruction of others . The Blood of the Lamb , if you accept Him ; covers our sins .🍀
I am grateful to God that I found your channel. You just addressed, clarified and put into details something I was thinking about for a long time. I am 27 and have so much more to learn, this was a very good lesson. Thank you!
Going through this now at 53 Dewayne. Good listen, I've heard that saying no regrets. You can't convince me either. Wish you and Mama were still here in TN. Wasn't far from ya. I would love to go out West,its just too far. Stay safe.
I’m 28 years old… no Job, no friends, no wife, got abused 2-3 years ago from narcissism who was my second girlfriend lost it all my health, rob me of my peace, and my future to be a worthy man towards anyone… I’ve been single majority of my life I’m afraid it will be that way no one loving me back I only got Jesus….
Your not alone both genders are poisoned by Hollywood and some music styles.Rap has been teaching smash and split while feminism songs bolster a If you do not have cash and hold me on a pedestal your nothing.This is so untrue.As a young man all I ever wanted was to undo some of the wrongs I lived thru in my childhood and watched my parents suffer over. In order to do that i needed a wife and kids to take the journey with.After 2 divorce attempts with the same wife over the same divorce issues my parents had We have succeeded survived rather.I was jailed twice spent countless thousands and traversed many dark years I have seen the truth.The trials and the money wasted were well worth it to see our children together under one roof and not allow the same trauma we endured passed on to them.June 1 will be our 23 anniversary and we love one another more for taking the issue's Duane speaks of seriously.Point being I needed to travel the path of my parents to see the demons and challenges they faced and remember the bad times as a kid to help me through them putting bad memories to good use. Not for the sake of myself but for the sake of our children for if I do not conquer the demons of my past in this life that they will be passed on to the kids.I am a stone mason and have a passion for the hard work it makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning. I give room and allow the work and passion of effort take a front seat first and the money a byproduct otherwise it leaves us feeling poor bitter becoming materialistic and greedy.Remember we all end up the same it is the experience and journey and how you see it that you have full control over.I hope you can find some one remember there is a woman out there who has experienced the same neglect you have find her and help each other correct the wrongs you both endured It will be the strongest promise you both could make to one another.Time must be shared responsibilities shared and social biases that society has placed on our genders discussed.Your young yet you have time I wish you the best. 45 father of 2 A girl and a boy.
I’m also 57 and I feel you’re so much wiser than I am at my age. I have so many regrets on how I’ve handled parts of my life up to this point. I am maturing now and I totally agree with you about regrets. As I look back I have learned to take those regrets as lessons to better myself. Thank you for all of your words of wisdom Dwayne!
I like the analogy of a safety mechanism for others. Regret is the twin of shame. If one feels no shame for their shameful actions, they can never feel regret. But regret is more than a safety system for society and family--it is also the key to actual learning in life. In my own life, I have done things out of ignorance that shamed me once I knew better. The regret that brought always led me to seek knowledge so that I could improve and mature.
My friend Kyle Anderson who lives in Sheridan Wyoming introduced me to TRBT. And I can't thank him enough for that...Thank you for a real man's wisdom on God
I was always so quiet in life. In school, around my peers, deemed the easy target for bullying. It made he hateful. It made me despise. I held onto that hurt and harbored it and hurt others. There’s not a day that goes by where I wish I had made better decisions and had this advice in my life. After I hurt, it wasn’t about me anymore. I have to accept that. I can’t let that hurt fester on myself anymore cause it’s out now. I strive to be better and let my regrets guide my journey of bettering myself. I wish that same enlightenment for others in my position or was.
I love to listen to this gentleman while listening to ambient music from Red Dead Redemption in the background. It is calming and feels like an older Arthur Morgan is giving me sage advice. Thank you sir for all that you do!
I've been examing my regrets over the past few months. Balanced, open eyed thoughtful regret is what I am trying to acheive as I move forward. Thank for for confirming that I growing.
Listening to this got my attention. I feel like I’ve been one of those guys pushing regrets to the side under the guise of “I learnt a lesson so it was necessary”. Not exactly “no regrets” but more so what is a life without regrets? But still, I think I have been too nonchalant about them and this has made me think I need to be more mindful of the lessons the regrets bring. As I pondered this I started to feel like if I thought about regrets too much it would hurt too much. But then right on queue, Dwayne mentions how you have to keep a balance and not let it destroy you. Find the balance between being mindful and moving forth. Between having a stern talk with yourself and letting yourself breathe. Great stuff.
Sir, you have no idea how much I needed this video today. After a rough weekend that was mainly brought on by my own poor choices, I snapped at my dog for trying to run me through a telephone pole while holding my other dog. In that moment, all I could feel was anger & resentment. But later, all I felt was regret & self-loathing. Your speech on regret and it's intended purpose, while also not letting it overstay it's welcome, was exactly what I needed. God bless you, Dewayne!
I just found your channel . Wish I had met or known you many years ago in life . I have not read your comments section , But I’ll bet that there are many men that enjoy and appreciate you sound advice . Thank you .
Amen brother thank you for saying all of this. I'd been unfair and mean to those who I loved and have a lot of regrets around that. I will say it's important to recognize your fault, but you must forgive yourself, and those that hurt you. For your own peace. I go insane thinking that someone couldnt possibly love me for something I've done. I regret, I try to learn and grow as a person. It's so hard to do.
I have always looked back with guilt and regret. I tried to forget it. I tried to "have no regrets". Now... Now I have a way to live with them. Thank you for connecting those dots Dwayne. Thank you.
A high character quality of humanity indeed. A supreme opportunity for reflection, thoughtfulness and redirection of one’s path forward. Any man who does not show or honor regret in this way is an empty man. We don’t need anymore such empty men especially those who claim to lead.
This helped me a LOT during my break-up with my long term partner. I regret not acknowledging my feelings earlier. I regret not speaking up. I regret staying out of guilt. A situation that you've never been faced with, in my case growing apart, gives you an opportunity to grow & learn all about yourself.
You're absolutely right in what you said here. I only want to offer another perspective and I'll phrase it as a question. Do you think that it helps to wollow in your regrets or should I let them change me and how I behave? Then after I've changed and mostly learned my lesson wollowing in the same regret doesn't matter anymore. I would say that a person should learn from the regrets they have and let those regrets change them for the better. Do you need to have regrets from the past that you have let change your behavior and attitude already? A regret in that state turn into a lesson. It's not a regret but a lesson after you learned from it.
In my work, I have worked alongside so many people over the years. Well over a thousand that indirectly worked with and helped influence. I sometimes would feel that something was wrong with me because I would dwell on the past and recall how I talked to others, or things that I had done or said, and let it influence how I interact with people now. Some people would say that I linger too much on the past but I really just strive to learn. I regularly try and tell people that I acknowledge something I did in the past, which I regret. And how I want to be better. I do sometimes feel alone when I act this way and see so many others who preach “no regrets”. They confuse balanced regret for unbalanced guilt. So true.
I'll admit that at first I was disagreeing with your take on having no regrets. In today's world, we're told it's good to have no regrets, like you pointed out, and I've probably bought into that a bit. Today I'm grateful to my God for the suffering of my past, because it's made me who I am today. Then you clarified about how regret can be about how we've affected others and that's where I understood and agreed. In regards to my own self destruction of the past, I find it beneficial - personally - to not keep on dragging that baggage and having regrets, but I definitely do regret the things I've said and done that brought others down with me. Those things I'd take back and change it I could, but none of us can go back, what we can do is make amends - not just a simple Sorry - and behave in a new, better manner that isn't conducive to harming others anymore.
Thank you! I live off grid and am building a cabin with my soon to be wife. We are getting married In 3 weeks. I am heeding the advice of the Bible and am “seeking wise counsel.” Thank you for the consistent good advice
Another important messege to address. No regrets, No remorse and nothing learned. Everyone messes up, it is human nature ...admit it, accpet it, know better and cary on to be a greater person. Thank You Dry Creek.
It's validating to hear you talking about this topic, I fully agree with your view. I have had a bunch of discussions with my parents in the past, who I love and respect, when I told them about things I regret in my life and they always treated it as if it was a bad thing. No, regret is a sign that you have grown as a human being, it is a thing that hurts but is to be treasured at the same time. Unfortunately, modern society is urging us to push away uncomfortable truths and hurtful feelings instead of dealing with them and integrating them into our character to improve ourselves. A good day to you, sir.
"Balanced regret is what helps you become a better person. Unbalanced guilt is what destroys you."
This is probably one of the most powerful things I have ever heard said. This is a wonderful quote.
VERY powerful indeed!
Dang. That hits the heart square.
One of the reasons I would pay to have a book with his wisdom on my hands. Very, very powerful words to those who truly understand.
I don't even know how I found this guy. I'm in massachusetts and I work in tech. I don't own a gun. I don't ride a horse. I'm a guy in a city, clean shaven, works in an office and I have to think how many years I haven't seen a horse. Me and this guy couldn't be the more opposite type of people. Something about this guy I thought wasn't still real, is still a lifestyle that people in my country can live, stirs something in me as human being and as an american. I love this guy's philosophy on life. I can totally get why so many people like him. I'm guilty of a lot of this arrogance. Dwayne, I heard you. I'm going to try to apply some of this, in my own way. As much as I can. Thank you.
I’m in Massachusetts too and it’s worth it, I’ve been listening for a while.
Interesting
I grew up with men and women like this. Been outside of the Midwest on occasion I can count on one hand. I'm happy he's still around and expressing his experiences and opinions. I'm glad people are hearing him who hasn't experienced a person like him and can listen to and appreciate his stories. I also have no idea how I found his channel... Other than that he's wise and people appreciate his videos. Every time I watch a new video I feel like I've learned something important. I'm glad other people experience something too. I also don't own any guns, I have lived near a big city for decades. I don't smoke. None of that matters because he wouldn't judge you for any of that. In my opinion. People like him deserve to be in government... But Businessmen pushed them out. I'm going to try battling my unbalanced regret a little harder thanks to this man.
Amen! 🙏🕊🌅
Same as you. For me in a low place, building back if can 44 years in Tech took its tool. He is a Sage.
When you're literally just sitting and talking-no editing, no special effects, no clowning
around to entertain, no talking fast to keep people engaged - and people attentively
listen, watch, and subscribe, that is what happens when someone actually has something
of true value to say. This guy is the real deal. I'm not fan boying; it's simply refreshing to
see this still exists.
The fast talking edited clowns have the exact opposite effect on me 😅😅 I get bored or irritated, and don’t really here what they are saying , not that I probably miss anything 😏
100% with you
Amen.
It’s a God given gift !!
Amen
"more mature you are, less self-centered you get, more things you will see in the past that you will regret" great one.
key word; mature. As I have gotten older, I have noticed that those I know in my age group have not matured in any way. Or said another way, they have aged like milk. As they get older they get more bitter, more angry, more selfish, more entitled, and less happy. Funny how entitlement, anger, and unhappiness go together.
@@nco_gets_it as someone of having a crisis turning 29 this year, that's one of my biggest fear. I don't want getting jaded and bittered as I get older. any tips I can learn to be a better person like yours?
What about when you see it in your youth.... I'm unfortunate enough to be VERY self aware.... but i ALWAYS catch my mistakes... only because they HAUNT ME!
@@mlancholia3920 Younger man here.... i'm 20 right now but i've found solace in Writing (music both composing but also writing lyrics) reflective and introspective writing.... exercise, not just weights or running, but if you can strike a bag that gets a lot of stuff out for sure....
seek the woods, seek rivers, lakes, nature trails, go hiking in mountains or wilderness.... start hunting
I've had my life saved from a deep depression bordering suicide (put an empty gun in my mouth at one point just to know what it would feel like)
The woods saved my life very truly
If I didn't have guitar, guns, and the woods i would NOT be here today.
God bless you
I’m so happy you’re still making these sir.
I am a young man (30) who grew up without either parents, and no real male role models in my life.
I look at you as such, and I I’m sure I am not the only one.
Thank you for everything.
Dude I've been in the same boat as you. I never grew up with my parents but with my grandparents. I had no real male role model in my life either, even though my grandfather helped raise me but he wasn't a father figure because he never took the time to be a man and teach me the things to become a man. I've made many bad decisions and I regret all of them but this man here has been lifting me up of my knees to become the man I need to be. BTW I'm 30 as well. 😅 This man is a God send.
These videos are one of the best things to ever happen to youtube
❤
Regret is one of the most important elements in healthy growth. As you point out, without regret there is no growth - simply death. At 74 I have many regrets, but I am more humble, more empathetic, more aware of my place in life and empowered to be a better human being - a kinder, less selfish person. I enjoy life. Thank you Dwane for your insight
Its right up there with Resentment. 2 very powerful aspects of the human mind.
As an 18-year-old Puerto Rican girl, I never thought I'd have much in common with you, but since discovering this channel I have come to greatly appreciate your wisdom and perspective. Though we each see the world in different ways, I find myself resonating with much of what you have to say. Scrolling through the comments section I see so many people from all age groups, genders, backgrounds and experiences, and I think there's something beautiful about how we're all brought together by this man talking about horses and life. Thank you for your content!
Sex. Genders is for words. And there's only 2.
As for the rest, good on you
as a puerto rican girl turning 18 soon myself, it was comforting to see this comment. ❤
Thank you so much for your wonderful videos. I have learned how to make a delicious breakfast and listened to your great wisdom and advice. Best wishes to you and Momma. A 😅huge fan from Ontario, Canada.
There is huge blessings in diversity!
The older I get, the more regrets I have. I have so many regrets it can overwhelm me sometimes
Same here. Today I'm thinking about my ex who I lost in 2019. I can't get over her. It was my fault almost entirely that it didn't work out, but she's happy now, as far as I know.
I know what you mean. I have a deep ocean of regret.
Then feel good... as that means you are an empathetic person😊
You know..I am in Kenya , African descent..and I dunno how, but something made me click one of his videos and I just keep on coming back. Some great wisdom shared. Am humbled sir.
Tuko wengi
that's actually an AMAZING perspective on the matter, no regrets= no reflection and accountability= no growth= no empathy= narcissism
That's a sick person not learning and all about themself.
@@InTexasMatt correct and refusing to because they don't acknowledge their own shortcomings. To them it tends to be everyone's fault on every matter possible. Its truly a sad reality.
The world around you gets better after you win the war against yourself
As a man with no father, thank you. Your advice and calm demeanor is so comforting.
I grew up without a dad but my best friend had some actual old Texas Cowboy uncles who taught me some common sense and responsibility just by example. The basically said "boy you got some tough breaks but you're gonna have to learn to be a man anyway". Dwayne reminds me of those guys so much.
same
So accurate. As a millennial who heard that whole “have no regrets” thing for years - this is refreshing and good to hear. He’s right.
i said today in therapy "i regret almost everything in my life". and its true, ive made mistake after mistake, ive caused hurt after hurt. i hate it(and im learning to not let it define me) but regret is really important for learning, and honestly shows you care, just dont drown in your regrets and forget to live people. im guilty of that too. forgive yourself, do what you can to make things right, and move on.
as a 16 year old with a lot of regret already, there is nothing better then hearing what i need to hear from an logical, and wise man
I've been thinking about regrets all day. This was strange timing. I appreciate you Dwayne for helping others struggling.
If a person has a conscience, regret will be a valuable teacher throughout life.
"Balanced regret is what helps you become a better man. Unbalanced guilt is what destroys you."
I joined the military a few years ago because nothing else in my life seemed to be working out at the time. Almost every single day I was in basic training, I thought about the unbelievable and disgusting things I said to my family, friends, and girlfriends over the years. I wrote a letter to my stepfather basically apologizing for the grief I gave him all up until that point. At the end, I stop referring to him by his first name, and I called him dad for the first time in my life. He cried reading it.
I'm currently on my third deployment to the middle east. I think about things like that every night before I go to sleep, promising I won't repeat those mistakes. Because I don't want to leave this world on bad terms with anyone that I love. Thanks for this video, Dwayne. I really needed to hear this, just hear someone say it out loud. Thank you.
Unfortunately, I live in Regret on a daily basis. The poor decisions I made really affect life. I wish i could do a "Do Over" and make better choices. The biggest Non-Regret is getting my 4 legged Family Members. They have made me the happiest I could ever be. No "human" can or would be able to give me the kind of happiness that the 4 Legged Family Members give me everyday. They truly, truly, are God's gift. They always love without condition. ❤❤
I agree. We can't live completely without regret and to my mind people who claim to do so are lying to themselves. The trick is just not to let your regrets haunt you and make you a worse man. Move past them in productive ways and use them to become a better man. And most importantly don't dwell on them too often. But living without regret fully is for most people dishonest to themselves and to some promotes a mindset that they've made no mistakes in life so they go on making mistakes.
The truth is we can never fully say if not making a choice we regret would've actually made our lives better. I can't say mistakes I've made in my past haven't led to a better future for me because I can't see into a crystal ball. But I know damn well when I've made a mistake, done something I know I shouldn't've or acted in a way that makes me ashamed of who I was. And that's what I think my true regrets are. I try not to dwell on them because I know I'm a better man now, but I still regret them and use that regret to fuel me to act differently in the present.
i did the best i could. i made the decision i thought was best in the moment, and now i know. i will be better. its ok to be foolish. its not ok to stay foolish. theres no need to bully yourself into making you feel guilty over and over again over something that is now in the past. allow yourself foregiveness and allow yourself to move on.
There are some who live in the present who can utterly sidestep regret when they trust it is all a given. Even hurting someone could easily be, and with an honest person as a result of, karmic debt... all necessary experience from life to life to ultimately exhaust all experience in this kindergarten.
We can all say I aught not to have said, thought or done such and such but really, what do we know? Lol
Amazing how God directed me to this video. God protect and bless you Sir!
I have no problems with having regrets and thinking about things I could have done differently. But I never let that consume my soul and stop me from living. And I don’t let that ruin my future.
Regret is our guideline! If you did something you regret, don't do it again. Every time you regret something you did, you know that you can't do it again; it's wrong, your conscience is telling you, you just need to listen!
Much love from Brazil 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
I used to have regrets, but now I see them as lessons rather than disappointments. I still grow from the lessons, I simply don't let them disappoint me. Regret is a frame. Why not use the frame of wisdom instead. The lesson is what's important. If you learn the lesson, the "regret" has served its purpose and can be let go. I don't say, "I wish I would have done better." Instead, I say, "I've learned a better way to do it."
Good video. Thank you for the wisdom.
Thank you for this. I started to act like an asshole because of how people treated me. But the people around me do not deserve that. I’ve had big regrets for how I was with them.
Because of how someone treated me*
Regret is the thorn in my side to help me be a better man everyday
I have MANY regrets from choices I made when I was younger. Because of that, I now have a beautiful life and great relationships with my kids and grandchildren. Never be too proud to admit you’ve made mistakes, but don’t carry them around like a badge of shame. Move on and get on with the amazing life God has in store for you!
Im 20 years old, Finding this video was like finding diamonds under rubble, I'll be honest, i made soooo many mistakes that affected parts of my life and affected others. Whether it was at work or home, I didnt know how to handle certain situations, did what i thought was right at the time, didnt seek help on certain stuff as i wanted to "think on my own", and look back now with a good bit of great but also a place of trying to mature, experience and dilligence. i fully understand why you say we can't keep saying "i have no regrets" because we all make mistakes, learn and grow till the day we die and there are times where we look back on poor decisions with regret. Glad to find this at a young age because it's gonna help me and those around me for the long run as i realized i had people closed to me who had the no regrets mindset and never took a look at how things affected us in the family. I would rather die than live that kind of life tbh, so its better i learn all this now and apply for the better. Thank you dewayne
Regret is the extreme of making mistakes.
Mistakes are lessons.
Regrets are lessons we study more than simple mistakes.
To enforce them, to be better people.
Keep them close to your heart, for as soon as they are far, you will be serving the self.
We battle not with flesh and blood.
Amen
I have plenty of regrets. Every morning I thank God for the new day and for all the days that I’ve had. The wins and the lessons. One of the 12 steps is to make amends. I’ve tried to make amends for the people that regret having hurt. Thank you for your wisdom, Duayne.
Dwayne exactly. If someone doesn’t have any regrets in life, I wouldn’t want to be part of them either. You can’t go back and fix what you didn’t do right yesterday, but you can move on forward today and not make those bad choices🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Regrets can feel like a cancer eating your soul. I love your perspective on this Dewayne
That pain can be a refining fire
I love putting your videos on in the background & listening to your wisdom
I am almost 20 years, your senior, and I figured this out many years ago, but thank you for putting it out there! You preach it man you preach it!
Amen. Great teaching. I agree. I know I'm a 64 year old woman that has regrets. But I've moved on, I must say, with the help of Jesus. But everyone can make the choice to acknowledge or ignore the things purposely or not purposely done in our lives. And it's always the best to confess them and move on with a clean slate so to speak.
God bless you and momma, Dwayne.
@JC-du6sn Is that a book?
i have to confess
that i have abandoned my friends because i did not know what to do everything was messed up and was not clear
and yes, i feel regret, i regret that
There is someone who I miss beyond words!!!! I regret my immature ways when I was younger, how a medicine I was prescribed made me act really awful for many years. I was aware of it but didn't have much control over it. In addition to having lived a really hard life in the foster care system and adopted by a family who didn't accept me, made life harder for me. I deeply regret how I acted because it wasn't fair or right to him. He knew me after that though too thankfully, the real me!!!! I hope he can think more and more of the good. I'm still here. I will forever be here. I love you ErBear!
Not to nosy, but was that Clonazepam that you were on?
No I had been on Adderall and straterra at different points. I decided one day I hated how it made me feel so I quit taking it. I remember almost passing out from tiredness when I quit taking it, but eventually everything went back to normal. Well at least I think, who is to say what the lasting effects where. Don't think I even needed to be on them in the first place, but like every kid in the 90s seems like they where prescribed that stuff.
@@ThatAnimalChannel Thanks for your response. That's ironic, because my doctor wanted to put me on Adderall if my Guafacine didn't work. It sounds like you went through hell with that medicine. I asked if you were taking Klon*pin because that medicine will put you through hell too.
Thank you Mr Dwayne. I needed to hear that today. Im going thru a lot of regrets and hard times right now. And i really needed to hear that its ok to have regrets but dont let them beat me down into the miserable person i was. Being that person cost me SO MUCH. it cost me more than just respect and my dignity. It cost me my wife and my children. It cost me EVERYTHING when i was living with the " NO REGRET" attitude. Whatever i did I did and i didnt think of anyone but me. And now I'm all i have. And its a struggle to just not give in and end it all. Everyday. The only thing that keeps me going is that if i give in i have NO CHANCE to ever fix it or get them back. But if I fight and turn it to god and he puts videos like yours on here the moment i was failing this fight. I know that a slim chance is a lifetime better than no chance. Thank you sir, for everything. You are im my prayers. Thank you for being there when i truly did need it ❤
I am 86 and I do have regrets but I also believe through them I became a better person.
👍
I'm 53 and you're right on about this. I've worked on myself all along the way as I learned. If you recognize it you're a decent human being.
Enjoy that coffee and good cigar! Well said!
I am from Turkey, watching a horse trainer for his wisdom. I only rode horse 2 times in my life, still watching horse training videos. because even when this man talks about horses in his videos, he says things that one can be inspired of. You're letting me face my own problems that I am afraid of. Your look to this world is more different than what they pumping us from social media. They take one away from real world. A good man is a good man everywhere in the world, and the rules are more or less clear. You're making me remember this rules or learn this rules. Thank you for reminding us the most important thing in the world: being a good man. Modern world makes you forget how to be.
Regret opens the door to repentance 🙏
Thanks Dwayne, God bless
Regret: the remedy for narcissism.
Feel8ng regret points to accountability.
^THIS^ 💯% ...But all the Narcissist that I've ever been around never wanted regret or was it just unattainable to them? 🤷♂
Taking Accountability make you a better person trust me ❤
10:35 really helped me understand the difference between regret and guilt, thank you!!
Thank you for helping me get my head clear on that, as a born-again Christian I was feeling like I'm being called to no longer look backward and have regrets, and just try to focus on the lessons learned. But I'm realizing that regrets and memories of failure can help me to be a better man moving forward, in that regard they are a blessing from above.
@4:33 - yes 💯I think about a former friend of mine when you mention this. He's well into his 40's and has spent MOST of his life Disappointing others including his own Parents. He consistently says "I have no Regrets and/or what the Fu%! do I care?"
I do believe he's a Sociopath by definition.
I'm glad he's not part of my life any longer. You are incredibly wise sir, another great video. This is a BIG LESSON for our Youth!!
Iv got more regrets than I can remember. I regret that I stopped taking my family to church when my service business took off. That’s one of many.
Did you all turn into heathens when you stopped going to church?
The timing of this video coming into my life is heaven sent. I am 23 years old and just had my girlfriend of 2 years block me on everything last night. It was 99.9% all my fault. I made some mistakes and i hurt her real bad. In a society where having “no regrets” is so normalized ive always felt bad beating myself up repeatedly over my regrets. I know im young minded and have so much maturing to do, but this video made me feel alot better about things. I know everyday that passes by i will regret hurting the people i did wrong in the past, but going forward ill always remember i am not the man i used to be.
I remember when y'all had 200 subs. Y'all really took off here lately. Y'all are such good people and I wish y'all all the love and happiness and success that life can bring.
I have always tried to have "no regrets". By that I mean, when regret would rear it's ugly head I would think on it, realize what went wrong and not repeat the same mistakes in the future. In essence learning and growing from realizing regret. Once realized, I can let go of the regret having learned what not to do and therefore having "no regrets". Letting go of regrets is good self preservation as opposed to not having regret at all. Never thought of the no regrets moto quite like you describe but now I know. Thank you Dwayne. I thoroughly enjoy your videos!
My father killed a man. He went to prison. After prison, he told me several times that he did not regret what he done---to killed an innocent person. My dad died a few years ago. He went to his grave without a clear conscience. No regret = no clear conscience. God bless.
I hope you become better than him
Everybody is responsible for themself. Forgive your father. Another thing to remember is "don't judge".
Thanks for sharing man, that’s some real shit
@@OpalAllen-j8r don't judge? Everybody judges. The Bible never says not to judge others, only not to judge hypocritically.
Your conscience is God in you, so your father clearly went to hell, while you who still have a conscience can still hear from God.
Sometimes I watch videos where they interview older people to learn from their wisdom. Often a question comes up about what kind of regrets they have from their life. I have found it very very surprising when seniors answer that they have "no regrets" OR some will answer to the effect "I regret i didn't do more travelling", or pursue some other personal interest. When I listen to this kind of supposed wisdom from the seniors interviewed, my esteem for them drops to nearly nothing and I shake my head in disbelief.
On the other hand, there's those with the humility to acknowledge regrets. I myself have many regrets and it would be nice to finish my life without accruing more.
That was strong and hit me like a brick. Thank you for that to-the-point and important message. I took it like a lesson and realized that regret is not to be avoided but realized and learnt from.
the inanimate object comment is amazing. aristotle says "they produce effects, as fire burns, without knowing what they are doing." and that the difference comes in having reasoning & explanations for why you do what you do- cant do that without reflecting. so amazing as usual
I love all of your video's, but this one is one of the best! I couldn't agree more, so many people disregard how they treat others. This is a powerful message that is really needed today!
A lot of men in Australia say they have no regrets as some form of Hero talk. It's refreshing to hear an actual man correct this Myth. Good on you. Tim Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
Your videos have been extremely eye opening. I'm still rather young and unexperienced , and I've taken up the "no regrets" mentality and I have truly started regretting that. Thank you for these videos as they are really helpful and insightful.👍👍
Now that I watched this video, I realise a few regrets I didn't really thought of much and their consequences to other people. While I'm still young, that does not excuse anything. I need to think about other people more and how my actions have consequences for them. On the job, at school and in the future, I will try and think of other people more. Thank you Dwayne for showing this to me!
Man you have no idea how much I needed to hear this. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Dewayne.
This explanation clearly gives me a deeper understanding.
Swimming upstream....
I visualize salmon jumping against powerful current in a raging river. Most make it through. Others do not.
Thats how I feel.
So regret is a teaching tool❤
Appreciate your content. There are not many channels I watch that actually grab my attention like yours. As said in previous comments, no filters, no jump cuts. It is refreshing to watch/listen too. Thanks 👍
Again, I don’t know how or why you are on my feed. I am glad to have listened to your talk. Your message is very wise and true. I wish young men like my teenage son would find your channel and listen to your message. I feel that there are too many oppotunistic males that pretend to be decent and kind hearted and prey on young males looking for a role model. As a mother, I cannot fathom a world in which older males are leading younger generations into this angry, hateful, prideful, arrogance, and won’t take responsibility for himself and the world he will inherit. It’s just sad. We need to do better to guide and teach our sons and men to continue to lead, to give back, to build and create, and to show more empathy and mercy for those less fortunate.
Thank you for these thoughts. I so enjoy your videos. Wayne you are a modern day Marcus Aurelius'. I love reading his meditations, and I love watching your videos for the same reasons. Wisdom! I wish to be better and wiser man than I was yesterday and you help. Thanks again and keep these coming.
I love the part about putting your horse on the best path, and taking care to do the best with him/her. Some of the ppl that are good hands on a horse are not good hands if they ain't riding a great horse
regret always sticks in your mind till you die its the way it is im 62 now i have lots of regret i would like to go back
I’ve been taking advice from this man since age 14. I am now 17 and have found that I have a big regret in life so far. It happened last march when I was still 16. I’ve since learned to deal with it and learned not to make that mistake again. Hearing him talk about it makes me feel better and is quite relatable too.
Sir as you grow into an adult and began to reflect you quickly realize the more knowledge the more sorrow
That's not an even remotely helpful way of looking at things.
Dwayne, thanks for addressing regret so thoroughly as both a strength and a potential downfall. I strongly dislike when someone says "It is what it is" to dismiss themselves from owning a problem or mistake. I tell them "no, it is what you/we/i made it". Its a huge piece of having responsibility.
Regret is different from guilt. Any person who is honest has regret.
Regret is guilt. It's wanting to change the past. It's a sin
@@betht7591 Disagree. Regret is sorrow for a past mistake that was not intentional. Guilt is sorrow for knowingly hurting another. Regret is for decisions that had bad outcomes when you had no reason to expect them. Guilt is for decisions that resulted in bad outcomes when you did expect them
@@GentlemanJack295 Why feel sorrow in the case of regret about something we can never change? To me, regret is useless energy. I can accept lessons learned, but the word regret doesn't help. I learned this from experience. I am one of the most caring person. I feel regret when I sin but I come to Jesus for forgiveness and he takes my guilt and regret away. So I do not regret anymore
@@GentlemanJack295why regret when we can't change our pasts? I'm an honest person. I don't regret because I confess my sins to Jesus. I believe in lessons learned, by not regret.
@@betht7591 You can be forgiven but still feel bad about it forever. That is part of the price of sin. You can forgive hurt but you don’t forget it.
its been almost 2 years since i discovered this channel and I come back to it every now and then because of the way it causes me to think through the things that are always on my mind so when the load gets to be particularly heavy Its wonderful to be able to have access to the knowledge of someone who has lived more life than I have FOR FREE
That person sitting around the fire that says "I have no regrets because everything that happened made me who I am today" may be expressing similar thoughts as you, but perhaps are using different words. It's that "because everything that happened made me who I am today" part, right? They seem to recognize that mistakes can be learned from.
Exactly i think it could be very similar thoughts. Because if you didn't do it you would just do it to someone else, but ofcourse you should regret it still. that's the whole reason you learned from it
4:54 Money, Arthur.....Money
I truly have regrets for a lot of things I did, things I didn't do, things I allowed myself to get into. However I say this if I hadn't been through all of that I wouldn't be where I'm at now. I listen to others with an open mind and open heart. It is only by the grace and mercy of God.
Regret , and Repent . We are ALL human . We ALL make mistakes . And we learn and grow from them . Ask forgiveness or apologize when possible , and never do it again . If we do this and not allow regret ro destroy us , it becomes our future salvation from self destruction . Or the destruction of others . The Blood of the Lamb , if you accept Him ; covers our sins .🍀
I am grateful to God that I found your channel. You just addressed, clarified and put into details something I was thinking about for a long time. I am 27 and have so much more to learn, this was a very good lesson. Thank you!
Please keep naming the cigars you smoke!
Going through this now at 53 Dewayne. Good listen, I've heard that saying no regrets. You can't convince me either. Wish you and Mama were still here in TN. Wasn't far from ya. I would love to go out West,its just too far. Stay safe.
I’m 28 years old… no Job, no friends, no wife, got abused 2-3 years ago from narcissism who was my second girlfriend
lost it all my health, rob me of my peace, and my future to be a worthy man towards anyone…
I’ve been single majority of my life I’m afraid it will be that way no one loving me back I only got Jesus….
Your not alone both genders are poisoned by Hollywood and some music styles.Rap has been teaching smash and split while feminism songs bolster a If you do not have cash and hold me on a pedestal your nothing.This is so untrue.As a young man all I ever wanted was to undo some of the wrongs I lived thru in my childhood and watched my parents suffer over. In order to do that i needed a wife and kids to take the journey with.After 2 divorce attempts with the same wife over the same divorce issues my parents had We have succeeded survived rather.I was jailed twice spent countless thousands and traversed many dark years I have seen the truth.The trials and the money wasted were well worth it to see our children together under one roof and not allow the same trauma we endured passed on to them.June 1 will be our 23 anniversary and we love one another more for taking the issue's Duane speaks of seriously.Point being I needed to travel the path of my parents to see the demons and challenges they faced and remember the bad times as a kid to help me through them putting bad memories to good use. Not for the sake of myself but for the sake of our children for if I do not conquer the demons of my past in this life that they will be passed on to the kids.I am a stone mason and have a passion for the hard work it makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning. I give room and allow the work and passion of effort take a front seat first and the money a byproduct otherwise it leaves us feeling poor bitter becoming materialistic and greedy.Remember we all end up the same it is the experience and journey and how you see it that you have full control over.I hope you can find some one remember there is a woman out there who has experienced the same neglect you have find her and help each other correct the wrongs you both endured It will be the strongest promise you both could make to one another.Time must be shared responsibilities shared and social biases that society has placed on our genders discussed.Your young yet you have time I wish you the best. 45 father of 2 A girl and a boy.
I’m also 57 and I feel you’re so much wiser than I am at my age. I have so many regrets on how I’ve handled parts of my life up to this point. I am maturing now and I totally agree with you about regrets. As I look back I have learned to take those regrets as lessons to better myself. Thank you for all of your words of wisdom Dwayne!
I like the analogy of a safety mechanism for others. Regret is the twin of shame. If one feels no shame for their shameful actions, they can never feel regret. But regret is more than a safety system for society and family--it is also the key to actual learning in life. In my own life, I have done things out of ignorance that shamed me once I knew better. The regret that brought always led me to seek knowledge so that I could improve and mature.
My friend Kyle Anderson who lives in Sheridan Wyoming introduced me to TRBT. And I can't thank him enough for that...Thank you for a real man's wisdom on God
I was always so quiet in life. In school, around my peers, deemed the easy target for bullying. It made he hateful. It made me despise. I held onto that hurt and harbored it and hurt others. There’s not a day that goes by where I wish I had made better decisions and had this advice in my life. After I hurt, it wasn’t about me anymore. I have to accept that. I can’t let that hurt fester on myself anymore cause it’s out now. I strive to be better and let my regrets guide my journey of bettering myself. I wish that same enlightenment for others in my position or was.
I love to listen to this gentleman while listening to ambient music from Red Dead Redemption in the background. It is calming and feels like an older Arthur Morgan is giving me sage advice. Thank you sir for all that you do!
For years I had no regrets. As I got older I realized just how many I had. I learned. I’m still learning.
Exceptional words, friend.
I've been examing my regrets over the past few months. Balanced, open eyed thoughtful regret is what I am trying to acheive as I move forward. Thank for for confirming that I growing.
Listening to this got my attention.
I feel like I’ve been one of those guys pushing regrets to the side under the guise of “I learnt a lesson so it was necessary”.
Not exactly “no regrets” but more so what is a life without regrets?
But still, I think I have been too nonchalant about them and this has made me think I need to be more mindful of the lessons the regrets bring.
As I pondered this I started to feel like if I thought about regrets too much it would hurt too much. But then right on queue, Dwayne mentions how you have to keep a balance and not let it destroy you.
Find the balance between being mindful and moving forth. Between having a stern talk with yourself and letting yourself breathe.
Great stuff.
Sir, you have no idea how much I needed this video today. After a rough weekend that was mainly brought on by my own poor choices, I snapped at my dog for trying to run me through a telephone pole while holding my other dog. In that moment, all I could feel was anger & resentment. But later, all I felt was regret & self-loathing. Your speech on regret and it's intended purpose, while also not letting it overstay it's welcome, was exactly what I needed. God bless you, Dewayne!
I just found your channel . Wish I had met or known you many years ago in life . I have not read your comments section , But I’ll bet that there are many men that enjoy and appreciate you sound advice . Thank you .
Amen brother thank you for saying all of this. I'd been unfair and mean to those who I loved and have a lot of regrets around that. I will say it's important to recognize your fault, but you must forgive yourself, and those that hurt you. For your own peace. I go insane thinking that someone couldnt possibly love me for something I've done. I regret, I try to learn and grow as a person. It's so hard to do.
I have always looked back with guilt and regret. I tried to forget it. I tried to "have no regrets". Now... Now I have a way to live with them. Thank you for connecting those dots Dwayne. Thank you.
A high character quality of humanity indeed. A supreme opportunity for reflection, thoughtfulness and redirection of one’s path forward. Any man who does not show or honor regret in this way is an empty man. We don’t need anymore such empty men especially those who claim to lead.
You are amazing. thank you.
This helped me a LOT during my break-up with my long term partner. I regret not acknowledging my feelings earlier. I regret not speaking up. I regret staying out of guilt. A situation that you've never been faced with, in my case growing apart, gives you an opportunity to grow & learn all about yourself.
You're absolutely right in what you said here. I only want to offer another perspective and I'll phrase it as a question. Do you think that it helps to wollow in your regrets or should I let them change me and how I behave? Then after I've changed and mostly learned my lesson wollowing in the same regret doesn't matter anymore. I would say that a person should learn from the regrets they have and let those regrets change them for the better. Do you need to have regrets from the past that you have let change your behavior and attitude already? A regret in that state turn into a lesson. It's not a regret but a lesson after you learned from it.
In my work, I have worked alongside so many people over the years. Well over a thousand that indirectly worked with and helped influence. I sometimes would feel that something was wrong with me because I would dwell on the past and recall how I talked to others, or things that I had done or said, and let it influence how I interact with people now. Some people would say that I linger too much on the past but I really just strive to learn.
I regularly try and tell people that I acknowledge something I did in the past, which I regret. And how I want to be better.
I do sometimes feel alone when I act this way and see so many others who preach “no regrets”.
They confuse balanced regret for unbalanced guilt. So true.
I'll admit that at first I was disagreeing with your take on having no regrets. In today's world, we're told it's good to have no regrets, like you pointed out, and I've probably bought into that a bit. Today I'm grateful to my God for the suffering of my past, because it's made me who I am today. Then you clarified about how regret can be about how we've affected others and that's where I understood and agreed.
In regards to my own self destruction of the past, I find it beneficial - personally - to not keep on dragging that baggage and having regrets, but I definitely do regret the things I've said and done that brought others down with me. Those things I'd take back and change it I could, but none of us can go back, what we can do is make amends - not just a simple Sorry - and behave in a new, better manner that isn't conducive to harming others anymore.
Thank you!
I live off grid and am building a cabin with my soon to be wife. We are getting married In 3 weeks. I am heeding the advice of the Bible and am “seeking wise counsel.” Thank you for the consistent good advice
This is exactly how I reflect regret. With a balance . I agree with you 100%
Another important messege to address. No regrets, No remorse and nothing learned. Everyone messes up, it is human nature ...admit it, accpet it, know better and cary on to be a greater person. Thank You Dry Creek.
It's validating to hear you talking about this topic, I fully agree with your view. I have had a bunch of discussions with my parents in the past, who I love and respect, when I told them about things I regret in my life and they always treated it as if it was a bad thing. No, regret is a sign that you have grown as a human being, it is a thing that hurts but is to be treasured at the same time. Unfortunately, modern society is urging us to push away uncomfortable truths and hurtful feelings instead of dealing with them and integrating them into our character to improve ourselves. A good day to you, sir.