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My Spouse Wants A Divorce. What Do I Do? - Pt. 1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2024
- To start off this video series, “My Spouse Wants A Divorce,” Dr. Joe Beam will talk about how you need to take control of yourself (even though that is so difficult to do in a situation like this). He will also give you you some hints about how to do it, and how not to do it.
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don't know if you will see this but I want to thank you. Most of all for helping me keep hope alive. I was separated for nearly 4 months. My wife comes back TODAY!!! I didn't do it perfect but I followed your PIES. Made changes to myself to stop being controlling. Your advice WORKS. My Wife was slow to see the changes but she did a 180 and is coming back home today to stay. Your videos really kept me going during some dark days. Thank you for helping me with hope and to not give up!.
So great 🙏
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Seeing this gave me hope. Thank you, I'm going through hell
@@berfin5865 Never lose hope. You will get through it. It gets better. I promise
I'm already a month separate and this is the worst thing ever. I hope to be as lucky and say my wife took me back one day. Everyday gets worse. Hope is slipping. Happy to know some ppl do get back together.
I have to admit that the only thing keeping me going some days is watching these videos. I'm not making progress with my wife, but I am learning.
Heart wrenching, even when following SMART contact, exercising self control and self care things continue to get worse. Toughest season of my life and my heart cries for our children.
Same here all I can do it is hope and wait for things to get better.
So heart-wrenching. But your comment reminds us that we are not alone in this battle. Hearts around the world are wishing for their spouses’ heart change. Keep seeking God, keep praying for your children. He will guide you. Be blessed brother.
I struggle with parents who run out on their kids. My mom did that. She didn't just divorce dad, she divorced all of us kids.
@@zuesrameris7340if u haven't already, try also adding prayer to it.
No pain is like this.
The Lizard King Agreed... The “death” of a marriage is soo heart wrenching...
Nothing, nothing is like this, I’ve lost the will to live, just survive-barely
Kudos for the video content! Forgive me for butting in, I would love your thoughts. Have you researched - Taparton Returning Love Takeover (google it)? It is a smashing one of a kind product for learning how to stop divorce minus the normal expense. Ive heard some awesome things about it and my GF finally got great success with it.
Andrey Tsatsulin take your power back by moving on server the tendon that holds your feelings and emotions with her ,be a free man that you was meant to be thank me later when you feel like GOKU
So true..... :(
Only by the Grace of God's will would Save my marriage! In the Mighty name of Jesus Christ Amen 🙏🙏🙏
I feel the same way; Thy will be done, not mine...
Did god help?
@@ryansperception😂
So in other words it's a silver lining but you have to respond with calm and confidence (strong, calm, and gentle). In the end even if it doesn't work out at least you've learned a better way to cope and communicate. This is going to be so difficult for me because I've already done all the things he mentioned not to do: begging, pleading, whining, controlling, etc.. Wish me luck with S.M.A.R.T. communication everyone.
Unbelievable, as I was watching this video for the second time and Dr. Joe was talking about the dangers of trying to control the situation, I was actively doing that - so glad I watched this video!
Thanks so much for your input David! We're so glad it has helped you.
Wish I saw this a lot sooner!
this is priceless! thank you!
Wish I saw this video long before, man this is so uplifting
I will say this, I don't know what it is, but you have the best voice for these kinds of videos. You're not harsh, you give fantastic insight. I am so glad I found MH videos
Unbelievable how many people are in these heartbreaking circumstances. I'm there and it isn't easy.
Hello @Matthew turner I was in your situation too untill I me Dr James spellz on Instagram he helped cleared or my problems he can still do the to you or you can text him directly.
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Satan is working overtime! a divorce occurs every 14 seconds! After 30 years my spouse broadsided me with divorce paperwork I will not comply . Satan hates happy families and will do anything to destroy them he’s succeeding unfortunately. :(
Very interesting, and a really beautiful voice to listen to. Something that helps soothing the restless mind of someone who has been abandoned. Thank you.
keep up the faith Chiari. we there with you.
I'm so devastated my husband ask me for a divorce two days ago I wish he can just watch this I feel lost I still love him
@@chalisangelina1102 how I'm so hurt
@@chalisangelina1102 I would like your help but how can we contact each other?
Yes sure i know someone who can help you to get your husband back
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I love MH for evoking such positive energy while in crisis. they know what exactly goes on in these moments and that's what makes me rely on their resources
Today was one of those dark, bad days when I was questioning everything and wondering why things are getting worse when I’m trying to do the right thing. This video sparked a little light of hope in my heart. I will trust that God has a plan and a reason to why things are getting worse. So as of now, I’m not going to give up.
I'm very sure he can also help you..
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Please, tell me, how are you now? Have you reconciled or? How did you cope with anxiety?❤
New to this site I’ve been separated for 7 months I always knew I needed to take control of myself which I’ve been doing I so appreciate your podcast. Can’t wait to hear more part of my taking control is putting my trust in God
Well-known divorce lawyer here. Just my two cents: do NOT rush into marriage. Become the very best version of yourself. Travel. Learn new skills. Do the things that bring you joy. Date someone AT LEAST two years before considering marriage. And of course, don’t forget the prenup in the event the marriage becomes non-functioning. People are fickle and get married for wrong reasons. You are welcome.
Married for 20 years and I agree!
Good advice but most of us here are already married so this advice feels like a slap in the face…
A divorce lawyer, so scum of the earth 🌎
@@frankthetank8552 That’s harsh, Frank.
I dated my wife for over a year before we were engaged. When they hide their true self and put their best foot forward, time doesn't help.
We need to keep our eyes open for red flags. The flags will be there if we are willing to notice and put it together.
Note: when you get engaged, the stress of it will really start to show their true self. Don't be afraid to break up with them even after you're engaged.
I look back and saw a lot of warning signs that I pushed through and she ended up leaving me. We didn't have adultery or physical abuse but there was unforgiveness and some other things.
I've taken control of myself. My wife is totally void of feeling for me though. We just had a really good intimate talk for a few hours, she doesn't believe it will work out. I got the divorce papers and signed my half. I told her about this and that if this is what she really wanted that she should sign them as well. She said she did want to sign them. I'm not in denial, I'm really okay with that. It was never the marriage that made us. She's agreed to see me and talk to me in person. That's the key. To show her myself and fill a little bit of that void, even just a smidge. Anything at all, I know we can be in love again. Just have to be myself and not deny my true feelings.
Taking control of myself is the hardest thing to do. I have ADHD and, as a symptom, I also have difficulty with forming habits of any kind. It's a daily uphill battle, but every day it's getting better thanks to Dr. Joe and Marriage Helper's videos and podcasts. Thank you so much. I'm praying for the day my partner and I are back on common ground again.
Don’t stay in loveless marriages for someone else. The saying if you love them let them go isn’t saying don’t fight for your marriage, it’s merely saying if they are dead set on leaving after councillors, therapy and more then you have to accept that.
Thank you so much for these videos. I've never been so devastated. So raw.
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My husband “beats around the bush” when asking for a divorce. He say things such as “Well, do what you got to do if you don’t like it” “I’m done with this” “Go to that place to do your research” (He was speaking of legal aid). We made an agreement to not bring up divorce when we fight but he continues to do so. I’m now at the point where I am going to do my research on filing for a divorce. I don’t want a divorce but he seems to want one. This is my second marriage and my 1st husband cheated on me for many years and I was in denial. I don’t want to be in denial this time around by my current husband playing mind games, using divorce as a manipulation tool or as a way to control the situation. I’m not going to initiate the divorce proceedings but I will prepare myself for the unknown. In the meantime, I’ll keep praying for my marriage and prepare myself with educating myself about my right in a divorce. I definitely feel lonely and a bit of anxiety.
Thanks for your video
Prayer is the best answer. I'm going through this difficult times and sometimes I feel very sad and alone. I know that the Lord God Almighty is present and that everything is going to be your victory. Stay strong. Amen 🙏🙏🙏🇨🇦
tan I made a mistake when arguing with my wife to threaten dovorve it hurt her and she had An affair- to top that she’s fallen for her affair partner and wants to dovorve now. We have a 12 yo daughter
I’m devastated and with I never hurt her with words when we argued - we hurt eachother but I shouldof been stronger.
I don’t want To lose our fsmily and I’m doing it all wrong begging and pleading.
Anyway maybe he does out of pain if your insulting him or hurting him that’s what mine would do- make
Me feel unappreciative
My husband too makes those kinds of comments. It is happening with more frequency and I too feel like I need to prepare myself for when it does happen. Therefore I find myself emotionally distancing myself and things just keep getting worse. I can see that my actions are accelerating our situation but I almost feel like it's enviable. And I'd rather be prepared for it.... either that or (after giving my whole heart again) become crushed from his rejection.
@@efthimios hello, I hope this find you in great health and still married. I’ve filed for a divorce and has been divorced since September 2021.
I pray that you two have worked things out and your child is in a good place.
We have to be mindful of our words because they cause damage and can leave a lasting impact.
@@MiShellF2003 I understand the rejection feeling. I pray that you are now healed and your marriage is doing well.
I’ve since filed for a divorce and has been divorced since September 2021. I’m sooooo much happier and at peace. It took some time for healing and it was much needed.
Best wishes to you both ❤️
What if you have already made those mistakes . how do you recover that.
Dr joe, you’re my man!! I’m learning so much!!!
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This is so much about what I was and am doing. I wish I could go to a workshop
Better following me now and get start workshoping me ok , please i need it
How do you have smart contact when your spouse will not speak to you at all and rarely texts you when there is any type of communication? My husband has filed for divorce and I still want to fight for my marriage
Pray. Turn to God and some trusted person/people at church.
Don't turn to someone trying to sell you something online.
Thank you for these videos. They help me feel a little better in these dark days.
My wife has pulled herself out of all our family plans, separated our bank accounts, moved into her own place over the the course of 3 months, and recently has emailed me that she is sending me the divorce paperwork. I want to fight for her, but I don't how to go about making the first move.
Step by step day by day, working on throwing away my negative ness
Thanks I needed to hear this. Spot on...hoping after xmas to come to nashville tn.
Should I put any effort to save a marriage if my husband has very wrong concept upon earning and spending money? The first 10 years of our marriage I was the core financial support in my family. Then 4-5 years before he started to bring some money home, the financial situation ease a bit. However the cash flow in his hand made him going to the pub often and drink severely. it ends up he involved into an affair and blamed me that our times together were too unhappy. Should our still put any effort to save it?!
I need help justice not far in Canada im man married my wife cheating i found out... isnt not right my son suffering from confusion want get my son away from toxic mother what should i do? Pls help
True.
I find the reasons more similar.
When we try to work hard on a relation, the more we try to reach out them the more they walk away from us.
My partner being more introverted it’s much harder.
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I wanted to save my marriage and still fight because I really love her and I still that it’s not yet... and I don’t want to give up on us...
You are not alone. Going through the same thing.
Same thing buddy
Standing for my marriage here too
I messed up when my wife wanted a divorce she said she needs space. I panic and never gave her the space 2 times the cops were called. I was afraid of loosing my family. She separated are bank accounts and separated are phones. I have to stay strong and have faith in Lord Jesus
Do you believe in Jesus
He is gone. I am still in pain. I still love him.
C. James join Standers United Facebook group!
@@jamimason2605 how should I feel?
Feel the same why about my wife..
C. James me too!!!...it’s fresh and new for me & I feel absolutely horrible!!!...I just wish he’ll come back to me!!!..
I’m going through this right now, it’s painful, very painful, I Cried every day and ask god to help me take one day at a time, No I will not and never chase him, yes I love him,he needs to learn how to respect me/woman
I lived in a love less married for 40 years until the passing of my husband. Do you think i can find love after 65-year-old.
Why
you bet you can. My friend who is around 70 got married over a year ago. She is so happy!
Yes but please stay away from younger men who find women like you as an easy target for romance-scam.and never ever give your "lover" money
Yes!
She told me she has no romantic feelings for me... what now
Move on.
Thank you so much Dr.Truelly advice marriage God all possible
The grass isn’t greener on the other side just harder to mow.
This is good advice but there is one condition under which nothing will work...when the narcissist wants to leave. At some point, the narcissist will be so full of false judgment against their spouse, they will leave. 'Due to not being able to discuss problems with a narcissist, there is no fixing the relationship. But this is not the norm...the things talked about in this video work because most people are not narcissistic.
Hello do you need help on how to get your ex back, or someone you love
But what if I’ve tried and asked her to go to counseling for 1.5 years and she refuses? She has, however, “counseled” with my pastor in parks and such for 2-3 hours at a time..in secret.
Saving a marriage is a total surrender to The work of The Holy Spirit. We cannot save ourselves or another person rather Jesus will give us His desires which will attract or compel the other either to Him or away from Him or her. It’s really that simple. There is no fellowship with darkness.
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I feel dope sick wtf??? I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think, I thought it was corona 😭 she ruined my life btw you have a radio voice.
No more suffering for you my guy , get your power back I can show you how only you are your greatest Enemy
@Binary-Technique I have been feeling the same way. It's been only a month and a half since she told me she wanted a divorce and I've lost over 20 lb in that time. You just don't realize how much love you have for somebody until it's not there anymore and it kills me every day. I wish I would have opened my eyes and ears and listened to what she said but I was complacent and now thinking about it I was just for the ride and expected everything from her. My friends and family keep telling me it will get better but the way I feel now it doesn't seem like it ever will.
My wife left me and is getting her thing's. I admit I did some stuff wrong. We both did stuff wrong. She will not talk, text or contact me, she uses her friend to contact me about stuff. I of course don't want our marriage to end but have been told she is happy now.
Please help me
It's tough brother but give her space, you never know how things will turn out. Talk to someone. Outside perspective may help. Goodluck
@@irvingmedina8597 So may ppl that know the situation say she won't come back and she even says that. I don't know what to think anymore. But I have deep sorrow, pain and heartache each day and when I go home from work things get worse because I know she's not there with open arms and a smile.
Good luck bro just keep pushing I'm going through something similar but try to be strong and focus on yourself, go to gym, take a class, read some books. It's hard but take it one day at a time goodluck.
@@irvingmedina8597 Thanks, I try to focus on myself. I started a new job yesterday, I've been going to the gym too. But coming home that has no one waiting or knowing she will be home soon to is extremely depressing. I'm taking it one day at a time and trying my best to work it out within myself to do better but so many times it all comes rushing in like a flood and envelopes me with sadness, sorrow and pain.
I think you should give her space (as others have said) and work on yourself - I found Dr. Joe's videos about attraction very informative in terms of giving me goals for self improvement. Worst case, and she divorces, you will still be a better and more attractive person. Stay calm and work the plan. Remember the old expression "The best revenge is living well"? It could also be rephrased as "the best way to get your spouse back is to live well and become a better more attractive person". That's just my 2 cents on what I've learned so far about going through this hell (and it is hell). Another great expression Churchill once said "If you're going through hell, keep going".
I often fantasize my wife will come home from work and tell me she’s leaving me. Lol. No luck so far
My wife and I just started a non legal separation, we sold the house, and moved into our parents houses... this is what she wanted, I want to go and be with her and the kids... how do I tell her that I want to go home to her without it seeming like I am pushing
You need to do things on her timetable - I'm sure she knows how difficult it is for you and I'm sure she knows you want to be with them - if and when she is ready, she will bring it up with you. Best thing you can do is work on yourself.
Im hoping you reach out to me. My wife printed out divorce papers and showed up to my house to sign them after I told her I need time to process this. I felt so pressured to sign. After I did she got this look of relief and her demeanor changes to nice and opening up. Have I screwed my chances of getting her back. She leaves for bootcamp for 5 months soon. I have done no contact as much as I could cause we have kids. She said she was going to file them when she got back. There is someone that she likes and have had a few cuddle sessions. But it’s a secret between them too. And the other girl is dating a guy. Do I have hope!?? She left in February then came back in May then left end of September. Both I believe from limerence. Same thing happened in February.
Easy to say from a man who once left his wife. What if its the other way around?
Exactly !!!
I wish I would've watched these videos before. I am going through a tough time now, she told me she wanted a divorce in a month to the day she was moving out. We had been together for 12 years and married for eight in everyday feels like I am constantly getting kicked in the stomach. She even went so far as to start packing her stuff on my birthday. I don't know what to do, I am lost, heartbroken and lost my best friend. This will be my first Christmas and 12 years without anybody. Friends keep telling me it will get better but right now I can't see how it can be possible.
@@ariaivy1569 I don't think there's a chance of getting her back, she's already moved on with somebody else
And now it's official, she has the kids not talking to me now and she told me she's with somebody else. God please make this pain go away.
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Don't let anyone get between you and your relationship goals
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I just got my husband back to me after five months of separation..
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If only I had watched this in the early months of my separation...
Same...same :/
I can help you in this situation
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Hope is not lost 😔
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I just get my husband back to me after five months of separation..
Can I ask something out of topic I order that PIES then still working that what will I do if caught him accidentally texting his lover what will I do I’m on PIES right now
My wife just left me on Friday. 24yrs together. I went to work got home from work and her shit was gone. I had no idea it was coming
My dear bro Stephen Dr balogun is the only one that can bring her back to you
Me too she left while I was at work
Her ring on the counter
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Nah you can't make someone love you . Even if she did comeback I couldn't trust her not to leave again
@@chrismalone3231 hey believe me on this one state what you want him to do and he will deliver
38 years what a long hard road.
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I need help
Need someone to talk too?
Sadly today nearly all relationships/marriages end up in one of these two conditions;
1. separation/divorce due to unmet expectations.
2. Then 80% of really long term relationships/marriages (long term = 20 years plus) end up in a platonic state for the rest of the relationship.
The conclusion is?
“THE ONLY WINNING MOVE IS NOT TO PLAY.”
Not entirely true, so stop painting with a broad brush. Yes, many marriages end up one of these two ways, AND yet many remain fulfilling to the end.
My wife has left and move in with another man, and we have been seperated for 2 years, but if i call and ask to have lunch so i can just see her and chat she will come. She has even mentioned that she wants to move back to Germany (where she is from) later due to not wanting to be here in the USA anymore. I still believe there may be a chance because if she was totally done with me she would not want to ever be around me or hug me/kiss me etc correct. I am curious about your opinion.. Thank you
Honestly, I think she cares about you deeply in a non-romantic way (this is why she is always willing to see you - she wants to make sure you are ok and help you as a friend - I'm sure she feels plenty of guilt too), but I'm not sure that this alone should lead you to believe that she might come back to you. You should work on yourself, keep in contact (like friends do), and if things change for her, she will tell you.
You are best off frankly asking your wife if she is interested in reconciliation. If she says no (or won’t give a clear yes) you should wish her the best and work on moving forward.
It sounds to me like she chose to end the marriage (moved in with another man) but may have trouble detaching from you completely. She is also discussing future plans that don’t involve you. Doesn’t sound like she is interested in you as a romantic/marriage partner at this time.
Good luck.
Ha ha, your Becky left?
What if your spouse has not filed for divorce but says they don’t know what they want? There is another women.
Agreed!
There's usually always someone else
@Eduardo Tarusov yes... You are right, and that is what I'm doing right now. She is seeing someone, but he is not a boyfriend. I'm not doing anything to push her into his arms, or giving confirmation that it's the right choice. We have been together for 12 years, married for 7. I know now what has hurt her, and I haven't given her what she's looking for. I just ignore the fact there is another guy, I don't bash him, and I don't talk about him. He doesn't exist, and she knows me and I know her. I just continue to evolve, and hopefully she sees it, and sees the person she fell in love with. I have control of me, and that is it.
I’m going through this now.
I have been employing everything in this video, and many many past videos.
I have been the only one in my house that has been rational about anything.
But today my wife intimidated me into signing a lease dismissal for her. She IS and always plan to leave despite everything I've done to change myself in literally every way. She Has not nor ever intend to whiteness me changing for the better.
I feel like i have been steam rolled...
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your wife back to you???????
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me.
He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️
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Ça vous concernent ok merci
Hi Coach,
Me and wife was in relationship for 4 years . Due to some Misunderstanding and Ego she asked me to talk to her lawyer Even though I begged and pleaded. She move to different state and staying with her parents with my son(1 year 3month old). She posted my son video in Instagram (son says Papa Papa). I visited where she live but they didn't allow me inside and they said they will call the cops. After tried all the possiblity I fed up and gave the signature for mutual consent . Few days after signing she followed and un followed Instagram and I received the notification in the mid night. Then I started doing NO CONTACT it's been more than 40 days. She have posted again my son video saying Papa Papa . I felt so emotional. But due to the similar experience which I had previously I don't want try now. Please coach what i need to do in this situation.
Is there a way that I can talk with someone @ MarriageHelper ?? Why stay in the marriage? Don't try to take control of your spouse...but if "any" effort that is done, is thought to be manipulating...
I have never leaved alone and im terrified of that. I'm not financially well off
Hi friend, there is someone that can help you recover your relationship and get your ex back to you
His name: baba Eseohe
He helped me recover my relationship and get my ex back to me
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Lived
Proud of you for being here
Plan a party!!!!! WOO HOOO!!!!!!
The downside is, your program is way too expensive for me to be able to afford. I am not financially stable enough for it
Thank you
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
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Stop giving people false hope , sometimes you just need to move on. Stop taking advantage of the vulnerable people who is going through hard times. It’s all about selling your materials to people who are so desperate to save their loved ones. If someone cheat on you or leave you why would you chase them after for ? Have a self respect and make yourself happy. Right people will stay if It was God’s will, but wrong people people leave you maybe u should thank god that he is saving you from wasting many years on wrong person. Don’t waste your money on this kinda course just read books and listen podcast. Read bible and pray God. That’s all free.
Best comment I've read.
Cheating is not always a deal breaker. If a man is a good spouse and provider but stray, is remorseful and wants to do better, then it might be wise for the wife to consider Saving the marriage. There is no guarantee the next man that woman finds isn't going to cheat.
You totally missed the whole point. What happens when you move to the next person and they cheat, then the next the same happens, wouldn't that be saying something about the one who's been cheated. What Marriage Helper is teaching is amazing, and cannot be called false hope. There are marriages that work after people learn their mistakes and a lot of times the breakups happen because of these mistakes. It's okay not to agree with what they're saying, but do not discredit what has proven to work for many all around the world myself included.
Amen !!!❤
@@summergirl0480 oh, you depend on his money ❤ how adorable is that? Now you’re stuck living with a cheater for the rest of your pathetic life….
Help
When I would mess up my wife would become a door mat. Now the shoe is on the other foot
Tony Bivens How does it feel?? Sucks doesn’t it?? Same here. Treat others how u want to be treated. We learned that as kids
Anything for an easy life
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How do I get in contact with one of you all?
Hello, I can refer you to someone who helped me out in getting back with my ex lover. He's the best when it come to recovery of broken relationships.
It there anyone here who was success in rebuilding marriage
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Listen to stuff like this while you work out
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Maybe everybody should cheat and this will make you an expert on this type of hurt and everybody forgive everybody!!!
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Lost hope
What if she has not said anything about divorce?
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I'll just let her go
how can one get help from Ghana
Hi friend, do you really need help to recover your relationship and get your spouse back to you??????
Let me recommend you to someone called baba Eseohe that helped me recover my relationship and get my spouse back to me.
He can definitely help you also ❤️❤️
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You look like Ed McMahon.
Get a divorce then.
Divorce is extremely bad and shameful no matter what the circumstances are. Those who had to divorce showed extreme stupidity to have married their bad spouses in the first place.
?
I am not able to love anyone that doesnt have a blood relation with me...so case closed
They’re monsters ruin my world.
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how?
I want a divorce from my sister
Hello to whom it may concern I know of someone great and powerful who helped me,he can also render you help just as he did mine too
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I started watching these videos to try and reconcile my differences in my own marriage. What I learned was that they are so counterintuitive, condescending And contradictive that I had to stop watching them because all it was doing was making matters worse. Why in the hell would anyone tell someone that if they want to save their marriage then they should nothing? That is completely And absolutely horrible advice. If you’re looking to save your marriage and find yourself and do better I suggest not watching these videos and instead try moving your focus Towards motivating yourself and your partner by Watching videos involving Esther Parell, Dan Savage and psych2go. That’s just my opinion and if it helps someone then that’s My only intention. I’m not dissing anyone I’m just expressing my own personal opinion and experiences so that others might gain some knowledge from that.
adults do get divorces and they move on and grow and everyone does go on. No big Deal.
gorilla twist respectfully I disagree studies show damage for generations does occur. 2nd and 3rd marriages even have higher rates of divorce and many children have attachment issues and relationship issues. The key is to keep learning how to communicate and have healthy behavior to the best of ones abilities.
@@Luvabundantly22 I read that 2nd(and higher numbers) marriages have a 90% higher divorce rate than first marriages so I suspect you are dead on
My ex used triangulation, gas lighting, interrogation, intimidation, and financial insecurity while we were married. I left and worked on myself with lots of therapy and self reflection. I left. He is remarried. I am happy for him and myself.
I got to be called the awful person for leaving. I have never second guessed my decision.
David Cumming is that true