It is so painful to know that someone you love and trusted has betrayed the sanctity of marriage and has opened doors, physically or emotionally with someone else. What I am learning is to respect myself. To not tolerate actions that are beneath my respect. To know, though imperfect, I do not own the role of betrayor. I must love myself whether married or not. This fact has helped me.
In case it helps anyone, here is a coping mechanism I’m using...I’m putting my husband in a box in my head. All of our 17 years of marriage are in the box. All negative interactions go in the box so I don’t dwell on them. All positive interactions go in the box so I don’t get my hopes up and get my heart shattered again. He lives in the box so that I can function, work on my PIES and become healthy again. If he wants to continue to destroy his life, that’s up to him, but he cannot take me down with him anymore. The kids and I will survive and thrive no matter what he chooses. I hope very much for him to get rid of the demons in him and for his heart and soul to heal. I’ve put this into practice for a couple days only, but I’m feeling much better.
I will never ever understand how anyone that has cheated with a married man and stolen him from his wife and children could EVER expect the same man to not cheat on her. What is the confusion? I wouldn't trust either of them.
Is there a way to (in a long relationship) restart the Limerence phase again? Is that a reason men and woman go through a middle age crisis? to change enough to reengage the other spouse?
No. Its Limerence and the Person in Limerence is Not Like she really are. When Limerence ends the Most persons will be the true Person again and they will be shamed and grieve about what they have done. Limerence is Like a drug addiction. So If you Love this Person she is worth to rescue
Everyone is different, but cheating causes trust to be broken. The foundation for a healthy and thriving relationship is trust. If this person comes back into your life will you be able to trust them again?….not what you hope will happen, but can you imagine yourself reaching a point where you won’t question when they go out, stay out late, or have a fear or need to check who they are txting or calling or contacting on social media. If the answer is no…then it’s no. Sometimes it’s hard to move on because we put those ppl ahead of ourselves and loving ourselves. Love yourself first, do what’s healthiest for you. They say trust takes years to be earned but moments to break.
MH teaches to Work on your PIES. Be the best You: Physically, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual. And have smart contact With your spouse. Its hard, but you have to wait Till the Limerence is over. The experience of thousands of couples are: If they find together again, after a affair, the Most marriages will be better than even before. There is Hope.
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It is so painful to know that someone you love and trusted has betrayed the sanctity of marriage and has opened doors, physically or emotionally with someone else. What I am learning is to respect myself. To not tolerate actions that are beneath my respect. To know, though imperfect, I do not own the role of betrayor. I must love myself whether married or not. This fact has helped me.
I'm on the same boat as you. Is time to put your body into sacrifice like how Jesus sacrifice his own body for us.
I pray my limerence will end, I hate caring so much about someone who doesn't even acknowledge my existence....
Me too, I’m from France. We are not alone...
I understand that you care so much about her. But you should move on from that person. For your own sake.
We need to create chat room where we can discuss this issue together
@@polygon166 that would be good
@@mastakilla_2k218 yes bro do let me know how.
In case it helps anyone, here is a coping mechanism I’m using...I’m putting my husband in a box in my head. All of our 17 years of marriage are in the box. All negative interactions go in the box so I don’t dwell on them. All positive interactions go in the box so I don’t get my hopes up and get my heart shattered again. He lives in the box so that I can function, work on my PIES and become healthy again.
If he wants to continue to destroy his life, that’s up to him, but he cannot take me down with him anymore. The kids and I will survive and thrive no matter what he chooses. I hope very much for him to get rid of the demons in him and for his heart and soul to heal.
I’ve put this into practice for a couple days only, but I’m feeling much better.
That is very helpful way to look at things, I’m going to try this. Also I’m so sorry for what you are going through 🙏
I will never ever understand how anyone that has cheated with a married man and stolen him from his wife and children could EVER expect the same man to not cheat on her. What is the confusion? I wouldn't trust either of them.
Smart contact and Pies I focused if it’s not maybe I don’t know what will happen to me, maybe miserable
This is heartbreaking. The questions and answers were insightful though
Who cares when it ends, the damage is done.
No. IT can heal and be better than before
@@marcowagner3930 it won't and shouldn't be
They left you for another person and thought they were better than you.
Excellent. God bless you Sir , big fan here
So she broke up his first marriage where he had small kids and now shes been played? Sounds like karma to me.
What goes around comes around. Always! Karma doesn’t lose an address.
It takes a very strong person to resist an obssesed over the top limerent lover. They are horrible!
Will the rewritten history be corrected by itself after limerence is over?
No, they will probably hold onto that and even make it into resentment to justify their actions
Is there a way to (in a long relationship) restart the Limerence phase again? Is that a reason men and woman go through a middle age crisis? to change enough to reengage the other spouse?
My wife doesn't want to communicate with me and Is "happy" with the other man.
She will when the high is over!
good for her.
@@jeanjoseph7905 😊
Wicked people willing to destroy someone marriage.
Terrible character
No. Its Limerence and the Person in Limerence is Not Like she really are. When Limerence ends the Most persons will be the true Person again and they will be shamed and grieve about what they have done. Limerence is Like a drug addiction. So If you Love this Person she is worth to rescue
@@marcowagner3930
My husband feels no shame or grieving!
Sounds like she got what was coming
I could really use your help... my situation is similar to the caller in your video and I just don't know what to do...
Everyone is different, but cheating causes trust to be broken. The foundation for a healthy and thriving relationship is trust. If this person comes back into your life will you be able to trust them again?….not what you hope will happen, but can you imagine yourself reaching a point where you won’t question when they go out, stay out late, or have a fear or need to check who they are txting or calling or contacting on social media. If the answer is no…then it’s no. Sometimes it’s hard to move on because we put those ppl ahead of ourselves and loving ourselves. Love yourself first, do what’s healthiest for you. They say trust takes years to be earned but moments to break.
MH teaches to Work on your PIES. Be the best You: Physically, Intellectual, Emotional and Spiritual. And have smart contact With your spouse. Its hard, but you have to wait Till the Limerence is over. The experience of thousands of couples are: If they find together again, after a affair, the Most marriages will be better than even before. There is Hope.
Do we have to have a license in order to be a marriage helper counselor?