Hoping To Adopt | Being Rejected As Foster Parents | Adoption Journey
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- I filmed this video a year ago, never imagining what the next few months had in store for our family. These first few videos in the adoption journey are a little scary for me to share but I feel they're important, and probably very relatable in some ways to others looking into adoption.
Sharing our intentions to adopt children. Also explaining why we are not able to adopt older children or foster children within the foster system as myself and other infant adoption families are often met with that question frequently and I'd like to avoid it going forward - since that was a huge dream of mine and it's a heartbreaking topic.
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Adri Rachelle
PO Box 851
Greensboro, GA 30642
I've heard so many sad stories like yours over the years with ridiculous reasons someone can't foster children. It's amazing that anyone could have their own child. But if someone wants to foster or adopt through the state (any state) it's almost like they are looking for reasons to not allow you to. And yet you read how many kids are in the system because there aren't enough foster parents.
I thought you were going to say the number of pets because I've read many stories from people who were denied for having too many pets, including living on a farm!
You two are such kind hearted people. I truly hope all of your dreams come true.
That's amazing, I have so many questions about everything, like, will you still have the time and the money to keep taking care of your animals and your rescues? I never thought Ben was a lawyer, he's always building and repairing everything. I bet your family supports you unconditionally, and I bet they are loving being grandparents and an auntie. You are admirable, I'll keep you in my prayers ❤
That has to be the most ridiculous reason for not letting you foster. The job Ben has should be considered an asset!! Y'all are too good people and good luck on your journey 😍
I agree, and I try not to let it get me angry or sad anymore, because clearly a different plan has worked out so amazingly for us...but there was absolutely a time I felt immense disappointment and frustration.
Omg you guys would be perfect foster/adopting parents. I don't understand this at all. Feel like they are scared, maybe that agency isn't a good one.
That is such a stupid reason, but as soon as you said, he was a lawyer. I immediately was like conflict of interest.!! And it sucksssss. Im so sorry !! But if you guys ever move out of state or are thinking of moving out of state, I would definitely call agency use in the state you decide you may want to move to and ask them if him being a lawyer and dealing with some cases that deal with Foster Care would it be a conflict of interest because all states are different? It’s not approved federally so it may be in another state if you guys ever decide to move
Thank you for sharing your story. That does sound like a crazy reason to be rejected, however at least they told you why. Congrats on your own bio baby! How long did it take you to get pregnant? Currently on month 9 of ttc. I have always wanted to adopt a kid though so I'm looking into this. However,I wanted to have my own first and then adopt but God's plan for me clearly looks different than what I wanted. Thank you again!
You might want to reach out to private foster care agencies and see if they would deem it a conflict of interest, too.
That's a really good idea! I'll have to look into this more!
What a sad excuse to not give you kids . Obviously he’s only going to take on cases he thinks can win. My public defender helped me win my dependency trial nine months into a horrible kinship care placement. (Taken for failure to protect from domestic violence but placed in my abusers house with grandma.) I wonder if I could have sued them and if I would have let my son go if he had good foster parents .
All agencies r just plain stupid 😂😂😂
The goal of foster care is reunification. Since your goal was adoption I’m glad you skipped it and went straight for private adoption. Congrats to your family
The goal may be reunification but that is not always the outcome, which is why foster care has many branches, including resource parenting, foster only, foster to adopt and adoption only. You can want to ultimately adopt and do foster care. I would say most people fostering have the ultimate goal of adopting or are at the very least open to the possibility.
It actually wasnt our only goal. We absolutely wanted to do both, ideally fostering and reunifying many children. My biggest confusion actually was the fact that we have a VERY deep understanding of the parents side of the foster system because of Ben's job. They cited the fact that he actively works on behalf of parents TO reunify them with their kids as the reason we were declined.
Definitely, and we were really hoping to foster to do it all, not JUST adopt.
Agreed 100%! This Foster to adopt crap bc its cheaper is ridiculous- REUNIFICATION!!!!
You dont have to foster through a government agency like CPS.... look for a private fostering agency (they exist).
I couldn’t foster if as a social worker with DHHS either. Anyone involved in any foster care cases will be a conflict of interest.
Yup. It was crushing to not know that before and be unable to change that regardless of how great a resource we may have been for kids.
I went through something like you did. We were fostering for 2 years, had a little boy from weeks old.. then out of the blue we were told he was leaving and the new head temp lady... new one ever month or so... personally did like us.. never a complaint or issue.. she just thought kids should be with their own kind.. and did like us..
Adri, I'm so sorry. My husband and I have been fostering for almost nine years. Gosh that's crazy! I've not herd that due to your hubby career, that it would be denied. Possibly you can speak to your head person in your State. A lot of times you can get an exception. For example, before hubby takes on "said" client, making sure they are not part of your agency that y'all are under. 🤷♀️
That's what I kept thinking as well - certainly there had to be some kind of agreeable plan that would make it possible. We were really met with a pretty firm wall though :(
I want to adopt a newborn baby
So having another or future child naturally is off the table? If so I wish you and Ben good luck on your journey🍀🇺🇸
I’m the child of a lawyer, and I think this makes sense through my very specific lens of life experience into the world. I understand why other people wouldn’t understand, though. I just think about what affect the stories of my mother talking about her job has had on me that she didn’t realize it would growing up. I wouldn’t want foster children to have to hear my mom talk about her job either.
Can you imagine though, getting rejected to even babysit kids through a Safe Homes program, for the day? Like not even foster...like,...you can't even have kids coming over to your playset...they have to live in the police station where CPS puts them...because...that's somehow better you're so terrible. I met a lady in the park with tattoos, overweight, poor, feeding a baby Sprite...and this person is approved to watch 4 kids. I believe she is also a single Mom. The money helps her. But we have a 3 story house, are married, and have 4 kids of our own, but we are too unpredictable because I have had anxiety and suicidal depression in the past. Strange world.
In my state, they let a police officer and his wife foster. The police officer went on to commit crimes including domestic violence on his wife and held her at gunpoint. They were allowed to adopt the foster kids. Their rules are wild.
@@theL0VERS In the end I think it was mostly a demonic attack on our home to undermine our already floundering confidence in service. We've had a lot of those lately. We are not perfect parents but, God can help all people be of some service. I'm sorry to have gossiped about the woman with the Sprite; in the end, it is not the health choice I would have made, but I do respect that she is out there helping at all. I know the people involved are genuinely trying to do the best they can; sometimes, even Christians are led to hurt other Christians by the devil, and they "know not what they do." It is OK because Jesus will give all believers a regenerated world;. this one, I suppose, must suck in the interim.
Did you try to adopt all them kids being trafficked thro are open boarder???? I no theres a language barrier but that would be it. Love can be shared without language. The government is giving theses kids to sponsors who are single men who are sex trafficking the children.
We absolutely wouldn't be opposed to international adoptions - but they are generally very challenging and costly. And, being declined through DFCS generally includes all government run placement agencies I believe.
The kids at the border aren't typically handled by local child welfare. The government contracts with Lutheran Social Services and Bethany Services to handle care and connecting the kids with family in the US. All those children you see are not ready to be adopted. Adoption by non relative is always last resort/option. Even trafficked kids, they'd try to find extended family etc. to take them.