I've BEEN the foster kid, and not always in amazing situations. This is as close to a perfect house as I could imagine being in, at least for my needs when i was a kid. I love your care and attention to detail. Thank you for everything you do. I promise, your foster kids will remember you, and your love will follow them.
Your videos are basically my pathway to fostering. I’m not in a position to do it yet, but when I am I know how to make the kids feel safe, welcome, and understood thanks to you.
I'm not a foster parent, but I am currently raising my little cousins due to a personal situation and it's been really hard for all of us, them especially, your videos have helped me so much throughout this situation and I wish I could thank you in person for all of the support you do for others and how much work you do to help everyone. If it's the children you foster, to the people watching your videos, you have no clue how much you've helped me and probably hundreds of others. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I had really abusive upbringing, especially around food, with my mom having a really bad eating disorder she pushed on all of us. It ended up making me hoard food, especially because she would “ground” me from eating. I dunno, it just feels really… healing, to know that there are people who think about that and keep it in mind for kids who grew up in that. Thanks for this.
@@EmilyH-u2h I wish you well on your healing journey; it sticks with you and changes you but I’m so glad that you’re here despite it all and even though we’re strangers (: I hope that your life is full of kindness, understanding and love from here on out! And when it isn’t, I hope it comes smoothly and quickly into your life!
@lmao3737 Thank you so much! It is lightyears better than where I was; in fact, I never envisioned being this okay. Clearly you've become a compassionate, strong person and broken the cycle. ❤ Wish you the best
I’m so sorry for you guys 😔. I’m 40 and still struggling with my eating disorder, but I am careful to hide it from the kids (I have 3) as much as humanly possible. Fortunately I’ve always worked, so can explain away not eating much with ‘oh I ate a lot at work’. My mother’s way of ‘helping’ me was to SCREAM at the top of her lungs JUST EAT YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH!!!! I was 14 the 1st time I was hospitalised, and my dad had moved out because she’d been cheating on him for years and he’d found out - she moved her boyfriend in the same day. They’re both alcoholics. Her and the boyfriend, not my dad. She hasn’t been sober since he moved in. She never took ANY responsibility for why I was so fucked up, never helped me in any way, and yeah. Here I am at 40 still struggling. My approach with my own kids has been night and day!! I don’t restrict any food. I mean, I wouldn’t let them stuff themselves on junk and then not eat any proper food, of course, but because I’ve never been really strict about any food, they self regulate and will have just a few chips, or a little candy, all on their own. They will also willingly share with anyone at all, because they know there will always be more. They are all at a healthy weight for their age and height, neither under nor over weight. I was PARANOID for a long time about passing it on to 1 or more of them, I can’t IMAGINE doing it on purpose. Again, I’m so sorry
THANK-YOU for wanting to be a foster parent and not a breeder ♥️ Breeding is so cruel, by breeding you create a potential victim of foster care (you could die at any moment, you could get ill... you never know) and a victim of potentially any horror, and breeding is unnecessary and cruel. By fostering/adopting, you help a life that needs to be helped already in existence. Thank-you for making the ethical choice. It's very appreciated
Aww I was like you I wanted 10 kids of my own but due to my health I couldn't. But I ended up taking kids in and even got 1 baby from the nice unit and had her mim stay with me as well. As our state will do that for some kids and babies. But alot of the babies I jad in my care the mom just ended up leaving them with me and then got the things we needed for them or I ended up getting a paper signed saying I had them in my care. Now my oldest is 19 an just had her 1st baby and I am helping with him. Due to my health I can no longer take care of babies toddlers or older kids. But I do find myself helping my sons feiends out as well who are 15 16 17urs old. They know my home is a safe place. They know they can call me at anytime day or night an I will go get them. Just always remember each child is different they learn different as well. But love that you want to do this when you are old enough. It's OK to have little baby showers when you do start fostering to help get beds sheets bottles cribs all the big things you will need.
@aw7145 It js necessary to say. People need to realise that breeding is cruel, that creating a potential victim of any horror for their own personal pleasure of being a breeder is cruel and not ok. And yes, it is "bizarre", just like the thought of a brown person having rights was bizarre in America in the 1800s. Or like the thought that animals shouldn't be tortured is hated and considered bizarre today. Something being bizarre doesn't make it any more right or wrong.
I am a foster parent recruiter and I am totally going to save this as a resource! Lots of them have questions about getting set up to take their first placement, and this covers sooo much ❤ thank you!
I love the double-making the bed hack! I've never heard of that-- it's brilliant for any kid who either isn't quite potty trained yet, or is going through a stage where they're having accidents!
My friend told me that hack when we first started fostering. Been doing it ever since! it also serves as a good back up for a kid who may get the flu and vomits or gets super sweaty at night.
One thing you might look at doing, Laura, is keeping a bin (or a closet) elsewhere in the home stocked with 2 or 3 unisex outfits in varying sizes for the age groups you generally take. Then, if you have a child who arrives with only their one set of clothes you can give them the OPTION of changing clothes if they would like, if you haven't had a chance to run to the store. It's also useful to keep extra socks and underwear on hand regardless. You would be surprised at the number of kids who don't have them.
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body on tex I'm
That because cpi doesn't do their job correctly. When they take my babies they were 9 and 22 months so they cannot do their bag. My kids have plenty of clothes in their closet both of them, some with still tag on it, size up that that what they were at the moment cause I always bye size up when I like something but they don't need now and put in the top of the closet, especially the baby have so much cloth because he had his brother cloths and his clothes, they have cloths to change every day for at least 2 weeks without needed to wash. They also have full box of diaper and several unopened formula box. And I had 2 play and pack bed. We'll they don't take anything bring them to their uncle place where they didn't have any crib, and they give clothes based on the children age when my kids was 1 and 2 size more than their age cause they are tall. Thankfully court wasn't as stupide as cpi and bring them back home, yet they spend 2 nights not sleeping in crib and cpi does give formule box actually and they were able to use their cousin clothes. So yes if cpi do a better job kids will have clothes. Also I used liniment to wash diaper area and they didn't take it, so use wipes and my baby got rash. They don't care about the kids and they have baby under 2 y/o in toddler carseat looking forward instead of backward. All the government money invest for having those people not able to do their job correctly --'
I always find your videos so comforting. I would love to go to your house as a foster kid, I feel so safe watching your videos and seeing how much you care about kids.
I’m not likely to foster, as I work full time and have some physical disabilities that would likely rule me out, but I find your videos really encouraging to watch. Mostly cause so much of the world can seem like a terrible place, but knowing there are people who care, who think about these little people who have nowhere to call home. Your kids, however long they are with you, are granted such a safe space. Somewhere they can relax for a while.
As an adult with autism, I especially love that you let the kids pick their own sheets. I'm extremely picky about bedding. I never thought of using a stretchy sheet that way before, though. I don't necessarily think it would work for me. But I work with kids on the spectrum and that's a great suggestion for the parents when looking for ideas to help their kids sleep in their own beds!
I currently have my nieces probably permanently, I couldn’t believe the extent of the abuse and abuse around food!! . YOU have helped me so much with your videos you have no idea! Please keep posting this amazing content. ❤your truly amazing
Some brilliant ideas, for any child, not just foster children (though obviously they are likely to have higher levels of needs). I also like that you mention neurodivergence and use the term dysregulation - I am AuDHD and have had meltdowns that have made me pretty ill, the level of understanding, compassion and support you show is truly heartwarming. And anticipating their needs ahead of time, like noises they may hear, is wonderful - it’s so much better to head off potential issues if you can, than to responding to something after it happens. It is good to teach children to be able to cope with things that happen to them but that learning needs to be built on a foundation of trust and security. I am highly unlikely to ever be caring for children (for personal and health reasons), but have seen things in your video that can help at any stage of life - building in security and relaxation, ease of tasks like changing beds, as well as physical items like star projectors and Lycra sheets.
As a past foster kid, I can't say how beneficial all of this would be. I have NO idea where you get your patience and never-ending love from, but I am sure you and your husband will be remembered by every young life you touch.
My 8yr old brother is in foster care, until earlier this year he was in a different state, you're videos give me some piece of mind knowing he's not with me so thank you for all you videos :) (he moved a few hours away from me now but i still cant see him)
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body on tex would you play with your body down that Al the time for me baby with no clothes on your body down that
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body down that Al the way for me baby love you too
Thank you for subtitles!! I really struggle with hearing, but videos like this are so so important to me (my boyfriend, in the far future when we financially are able ofc, wanna foster or adopt, whichevee we find is better for us at the time). I never expect subtitles from my favorite TH-camrs, but it always makes me so happy 🥹 Keeping this one for future reference ☺️
Love your videos, Laura! Thank you for all the work you do on this channel. The ceiling star projector for those nights that kids can't fall asleep is genius. It's hard to pick one great tip here because they are all so great!
It’s been so helpful and it’s great for so many different ages. It’s worth investing in one that you like. We tried like four different ones before landing on one we love.
Honestly don't know why your videos are so comforting to me. I was neglected and abused as a child, and actually had a more violence related version of depression instead of the self hatred type. Instead of sadness and nothing it was raw hatred and anger. It means a lot to me and I'm sure your foster kids to have that quiet space. I needed that alone time as a kid and would even ask for it so I wouldn't hurt another kid for not leaving me alone when I asked. I feel the other side of depression is not well talked about, and not well understood despite homicide being closely linked to depression, not sociopathy. Depression can also make children and adults violent, as well as ptsd. Not quiet and sad. Thank you for acknowledging this intentionally or not instead of shaming children for yelling and needing to have a "tantrum." Sometimes raging out releases a lot of demons and it's healthy if nothing is harmed and everyone is safe and not scared. That's why rage rooms exist after all.
Wow! I sure wish I I had seen some of your videos years ago. I haven’t been blessed with children of my own. I’ve been a nanny. I loved it and I think the kids loved it too. Seen them afterwards. All I got were big hugs from them. Watching your videos I just thought what a wonderful woman. She’s got it all down and then I thought I could do this. I would love to help these children on their journey to becoming an adult. Let these children know they matter and they deserve all the good things that many other children get to have. I am 66 and due to health issues. It’s hard to take care of myself and my husband, but I just wanted to let you know the world needs more people like you if God sends angels one of them would be you.
i find your videos incredibly comforting. I'm an MSW student, and by no means a child in the foster care system. But your kindness really brings me to tears and warms my heart. I feel very safe when I watch your videos.
My parents were so abusive. I wish I had your care instead. I love how knowledgable you are about mental health in kids as well. I struggled alot growing up and I know you couldve helped me.
I had a weird experience with a traumatized kid once when I worked as a children’s program coordinator in a dev shelter. I helped a kid by washing his hands for 20 seconds with warm as the water ran in the sink with soapy water and rinse and dry his hands. It was like a miracle. He was bonded to me and calmed right down.
I’m usually so busy I just wash my hands quickly with room temperature water - get them clean, get them dry, all while thinking of the next task. So to take the time to get the water to a nice temperature and focus on the washing (and in that situation, the addition of physical touch and caring attention), can be very calming.
You are so beautiful and helping so many people, thank you for your beauty and compassion. The power of a woman putting ALL HER SKILLS to make the future better for littles and bigs.
I LOVE this! I especially love how you do best to accommodate for loud noises as not too many people stay aware of, especially when it comes to potentially disruptive or trauma-inducing noises. One thing I always do when my niece and nephews come to visit is every week or so that they stay with me, I too love to hold a fire drill however my way is a bit unorthodox: I have combination carbon monoxide/photoelectric/ionization smoke detectors placed on every level of my home including inside of and around sleeping areas on the ceilings just above the interior doors along with one each placed in my attic, outside of my living room, kitchen, and also my basement (since I charge my e-bike in the basement). When it comes to practicing said fire drills (I develop different drills for different scenarios) and for one randomized day/time each week I conduct the fire drills by holding the test button of whichever room the smoke alarm is placed in and letting the unit sound for about a period of two minutes (since it's usually where you have
I recently got full custody of my younger brother (10) and sister (13) when they got removed from my mother’s house and the food thing is real ! Their dad would punish them from eating food and wouldn’t give them food often and fed theirselves more than them. When they came to my house they would raid the kitchen and eat almost everything up so fast on a regular and steal and hide snacks. I had to get them to understand the importance of not eating the way they did or just eating up everything just bc they had the free will to. I’m 23 with a 6yr old of my own with no government assistance so I’m trying to make it work and make their living situation a lot more comfortable than what they came from. Ik your home is an AMAZING foster home !
I love this. Many Foster families only use the kids for videos most of the time. This is actually really interesting (I live in Europe and don't have any experience with fostering or similar things).
As far as I know (only from reading guidelines) in Switzerland every foster child needs to have a room for themself. So if you have one spare room, you can foster one child. If you have two spare rooms, you are allowed to foster two... Renting a flat with more than 4 bedrooms (we need 2 to 3 for ourself) can get insanely expensive, even for a couple with a good double salary 😔
I have been adopted from Russia and am neurodiverse. Because I was in an orphanage I have behavioral difficulties. I love pressure and tight dark spaces. I have been told I l8ke this because In the orphanage I never had a mom figure so I like these spaces because it makes me feel safe and secure.
Love it! It's like a cosy hotel suite for kids. Laura, check out Brolly sheets (a Brolly is a word for umbrella). An alternative for double making the bed.
I’m curious, are you fostering kids right now currently? I remember you saying that there was a problem with continuing fostering because they can’t cover the pool insurance… I hope you are. The kids need you. I wish I can foster & I have asked my state’s foster agency & they said I can’t because we’re on housing. But I still dream of it & love foster kids
@angelicagarcia6415 they would've had to go through a different source (the county) to continue to foster and get recertification through them. But they chose not to do that.
Someone once asked me how I would define a successful life. I said a happy life, and they then asked me, What does a happy life look like? i said when i am in a stable position mentally, physically and financially to be a safe haven for foster kids
You’re so amazing I have been doing my own movement for angels I wanna do foster care one day! This year I have 15 kids who haven’t got adopted :( it’s sad bc there story is sad, I’d love your shout out to help them babies
@Laura - Foster Parent Partner Hey Momma, can I make a fear related suggestion about your hooks: There was a foster child in my sisters class at school and he used one of those hooks to self exit. You can get hooks that will break under body weight and I pray this is something you'll never encounter but I saw them and worried. You are amazing and full of insight and doing good that you don't even realise! Love Auntie xxxx
Are you an occupational therapist or did you have experience with OT in some way? You have great recommendations for sensory regulations. Some things that might help with your calm-down space could include a pop-up blackout tent, noise-canceling headphones, weighted stuffed animals, and visual sensory toys (like different colored dyed water dripping inside plastic containers). All of these can be great tools for kids who are overstimulated and dysregulated. Love, a pediatric OT who wants to become a foster mom :)
it's got to be so hard to not have your own family! My mom and I bought backpacks and filled them with comfort items and donated them to a local foster care agency.
The brand is Airivo. They don't make that exact one anymore :( Here is a similar one with good reviews from that same brand. amzn.to/3TnsEN5 (amazon affiliate link)
Hello, thank you so much for all your videos they are incredibly helpful to lots of people. I have a question, what is the pop thing ? It's in the box of comfort things for children at 7:59
Hello, could tell me more about beds that can be taken down? Are those like folding beds? Also you mentioned letting kids pick their own bedding and comfort items. Do you take them shopping for that or is it that you already have a lot of bedding they can choose from? I'm trying to figure out the logistics of storage.
Quick question - I remember you had some issues with your license. Were you able to solve that and can you stay a foster parent? It would be such a shame if you weren't able to
if a kid thinks there is a Monster in he/she's room make monster repellent spray with:water,lavender,and color with non toxic chemicalsit can be the kids Choice of color
Of course it will vary by county, but do you know if for babies you are allowed to use monitors that stay on the child? For her non-foster kid my sister uses a foot wrap thing at night that measures her pulse and blood oxygen percentage to make sure she is okay. I didn’t even think of baby monitors being an issue and now I’m curious.
@@foster.parenting thank you!! i am years away from any type of parenting, but my partner and I have been considering fostering for a while and your videos have given us a lot more confidence in the idea. had no clue there was so so much in learning how to navigate the system and hopefully we will better know what to expect. :)
I would suggest talking to the caseworker regarding snacks and food as well. Prader Willi, food allergies, and so on are issues with some of the kiddos.
@foster parenting Just a question based on my own experience as an abused child. I just realized I don't know how to ask this without sounding rude and that is definitely not my intent. If you have a child in your home that was SA since TH-cam won't let me type it, what responsibilities does your husband have in that situation? Or how does he help you with the children? I am having a very hard time asking. Help?
What if a kid is compulsive eater? I'm very open with snacks in my house but my son has one friend who will eat all of what I put out and then ask for more. For ex. if I put out chips and fruit for several children to share over the afternoon, she will eat them immediately and still request more snacks. I want to be sharing and have an open kitchen rule but it makes it tough
This compulsive eating could be caused by a medical condition or it could be a way to handle stress. That said, does that child get enough to eat at home?
@@carynpinkston1939 Yes this child sometimes comes with her own snacks, like big bags of cheetos or whatever. She gets plenty to eat but not a lot of nutrients I think. It's all junk food. She will only eat junk food. If I make a healthy meal she won't have any. Her household is a bit chaotic so maybe she is stress eating. When she comes over I've started saying I have no snacks because she will just eat them all. If I don't allow her to eat them all (like giving her only one fruit snack instead of the whole box) she will repeatedly follow me around asking for them so it's a bit stressful for me. I feel bad I can't give her any snacks but don't know what else to do
Maybe speak with her parents about exactly how much she is eating and that it's a burden on your household. Ask them to make sure they give her enough snacks for her to bring for herself or to help cover the cost of the food she eats when she comes over.
@@audjusushi parents are very chaotic, with social services involved in the past. That's why I related to this video because those kids (the girl and siblings) were close to being foster kids many times. The parents will not respond appropriately so there are many things i don't tell them. I'm just wondering in this video Laura allows unlimited access to snacks. But if I were to do that I feel this girl will eat all the snacks and expect the same the next day. So I was wondering how that works
I am just wondering, do you ever have kids who come with their own suitcases full of an entire wardrobe of clothes, parochial school uniforms and parents who are paying for the parochial school? Do you ever get kids who have no food insecurities and are used to being able to go to get food whenever they want it? I am just wondering because I have had a brush with CPS recently. My kids are in parochial schools, which we pay for. They are used to having food at their disposal in the kitchen, and a whole wardrobe of clean clothes to wear. They are used to having nice things and have at least one extra curricular activity. Yet CPS was called for alleged physical abuse. Fortunately no news is good news, as our lawyer has said. I think our brush with CPS is over uneventfully. But do you ever get kids who have been well taken care of, have lots of nice things, and would rather just be at home with their mum and dad and siblings? If you ever got a kid who was enrolled at a local Catholic/Christian school and the parents were already paying tuition, would you make an effort to keep them in that school? Would you find a way for the kids to continue to practise their faith even if it means they need to attend Mass or church services on Sundays? Would you sit with them and help them memorise their catechism even if you don't believe in it because it's a part of their faith? How committed is foster care to helping kids retain their faith? Or does that all stop once they are in foster care? Would you make an effort to help them see their friends? Would you take multiple children from the same family so they don't have to be separated? Fortunately for me, I was able to hire a lawyer and get this mess straightened out before it went any further. I had legal help to make sure that I didn't say the wrong thing because I was barely able to think clearly after that initial phone call. That call is a mum's worst nightmare, especially a mum who is trying very hard to be the best mum she can be but still struggles. I just worry that my kids will end up in care anyway because my husband has medical issues and I cannot take care of myself and my big family on my own in the event of his death. I wouldn't be able to drive them to school, go to the supermarket on my own, or take them to church on Sunday because I can't drive. I truly wish I could, but I have failed to be able to safely control the car every time I have tried. I could use my medical insurance for transport to doctors appointments, but that doesn't help me with the rest of my job as a mum. I haven't held a job in 19 years and am considered a "vulnerable adult" as the CPS agent put it. I have never thought of myself that way before. I think, unfortunately, that translates to my children being taken into care after their dad dies because of this situation.
With a child that's 4 or older (generally speaking) Making sure they know how to play independently and not wake others up at 4 am every day is important. Foster child or not.
I've BEEN the foster kid, and not always in amazing situations. This is as close to a perfect house as I could imagine being in, at least for my needs when i was a kid. I love your care and attention to detail. Thank you for everything you do. I promise, your foster kids will remember you, and your love will follow them.
Your videos are basically my pathway to fostering. I’m not in a position to do it yet, but when I am I know how to make the kids feel safe, welcome, and understood thanks to you.
thank you for being open to fostering in the future!
I'm not a foster parent, but I am currently raising my little cousins due to a personal situation and it's been really hard for all of us, them especially, your videos have helped me so much throughout this situation and I wish I could thank you in person for all of the support you do for others and how much work you do to help everyone. If it's the children you foster, to the people watching your videos, you have no clue how much you've helped me and probably hundreds of others. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I had really abusive upbringing, especially around food, with my mom having a really bad eating disorder she pushed on all of us. It ended up making me hoard food, especially because she would “ground” me from eating. I dunno, it just feels really… healing, to know that there are people who think about that and keep it in mind for kids who grew up in that. Thanks for this.
I'm 27 and I still hide food or hide while I eat certain things despite my husband telling me that I don't need to be ashamed. It sticks with you.
@@EmilyH-u2h I wish you well on your healing journey; it sticks with you and changes you but I’m so glad that you’re here despite it all and even though we’re strangers (: I hope that your life is full of kindness, understanding and love from here on out! And when it isn’t, I hope it comes smoothly and quickly into your life!
@lmao3737 Thank you so much! It is lightyears better than where I was; in fact, I never envisioned being this okay.
Clearly you've become a compassionate, strong person and broken the cycle. ❤ Wish you the best
I’m so sorry for you guys 😔. I’m 40 and still struggling with my eating disorder, but I am careful to hide it from the kids (I have 3) as much as humanly possible. Fortunately I’ve always worked, so can explain away not eating much with ‘oh I ate a lot at work’. My mother’s way of ‘helping’ me was to SCREAM at the top of her lungs JUST EAT YOU STUPID LITTLE BITCH!!!! I was 14 the 1st time I was hospitalised, and my dad had moved out because she’d been cheating on him for years and he’d found out - she moved her boyfriend in the same day. They’re both alcoholics. Her and the boyfriend, not my dad. She hasn’t been sober since he moved in. She never took ANY responsibility for why I was so fucked up, never helped me in any way, and yeah. Here I am at 40 still struggling.
My approach with my own kids has been night and day!! I don’t restrict any food. I mean, I wouldn’t let them stuff themselves on junk and then not eat any proper food, of course, but because I’ve never been really strict about any food, they self regulate and will have just a few chips, or a little candy, all on their own. They will also willingly share with anyone at all, because they know there will always be more. They are all at a healthy weight for their age and height, neither under nor over weight. I was PARANOID for a long time about passing it on to 1 or more of them, I can’t IMAGINE doing it on purpose. Again, I’m so sorry
I’m only 14 and I watch your videos because I want to be a foster mom when I grow up! So thank you for the videos!!
THANK-YOU for wanting to be a foster parent and not a breeder ♥️
Breeding is so cruel, by breeding you create a potential victim of foster care (you could die at any moment, you could get ill... you never know) and a victim of potentially any horror, and breeding is unnecessary and cruel.
By fostering/adopting, you help a life that needs to be helped already in existence.
Thank-you for making the ethical choice. It's very appreciated
Aww I was like you I wanted 10 kids of my own but due to my health I couldn't. But I ended up taking kids in and even got 1 baby from the nice unit and had her mim stay with me as well. As our state will do that for some kids and babies. But alot of the babies I jad in my care the mom just ended up leaving them with me and then got the things we needed for them or I ended up getting a paper signed saying I had them in my care. Now my oldest is 19 an just had her 1st baby and I am helping with him. Due to my health I can no longer take care of babies toddlers or older kids. But I do find myself helping my sons feiends out as well who are 15 16 17urs old. They know my home is a safe place. They know they can call me at anytime day or night an I will go get them. Just always remember each child is different they learn different as well. But love that you want to do this when you are old enough. It's OK to have little baby showers when you do start fostering to help get beds sheets bottles cribs all the big things you will need.
@@HelloHello-y4w what a bizarre and unnecessary thing to say
@aw7145 It js necessary to say. People need to realise that breeding is cruel, that creating a potential victim of any horror for their own personal pleasure of being a breeder is cruel and not ok.
And yes, it is "bizarre", just like the thought of a brown person having rights was bizarre in America in the 1800s. Or like the thought that animals shouldn't be tortured is hated and considered bizarre today.
Something being bizarre doesn't make it any more right or wrong.
You have a good heart❤
Double-layering the bed sheets is genius!
It’s been so helpful for us!
Yesss I wish I’d have learned it sooner it is the BEST
I was going to comment the same thing
Yes! GENIUS!
Unless a kid pees the bed and it goes throw the layers
I am a foster parent recruiter and I am totally going to save this as a resource! Lots of them have questions about getting set up to take their first placement, and this covers sooo much ❤ thank you!
thank you for sharing! I have all of the rooms in my home on Patreon in case someone needs the other spaces. 💛
Thank you Diana....
I love the double-making the bed hack! I've never heard of that-- it's brilliant for any kid who either isn't quite potty trained yet, or is going through a stage where they're having accidents!
My friend told me that hack when we first started fostering. Been doing it ever since! it also serves as a good back up for a kid who may get the flu and vomits or gets super sweaty at night.
@@foster.parenting And now it's flu season.
One thing you might look at doing, Laura, is keeping a bin (or a closet) elsewhere in the home stocked with 2 or 3 unisex outfits in varying sizes for the age groups you generally take. Then, if you have a child who arrives with only their one set of clothes you can give them the OPTION of changing clothes if they would like, if you haven't had a chance to run to the store. It's also useful to keep extra socks and underwear on hand regardless. You would be surprised at the number of kids who don't have them.
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body on tex I'm
Take your clothes off all the way and play with your body down that for me baby love you too with a massage toy down that Al the way
I'm pretty sure she knows this
Calm down it’s just a tip
That because cpi doesn't do their job correctly. When they take my babies they were 9 and 22 months so they cannot do their bag. My kids have plenty of clothes in their closet both of them, some with still tag on it, size up that that what they were at the moment cause I always bye size up when I like something but they don't need now and put in the top of the closet, especially the baby have so much cloth because he had his brother cloths and his clothes, they have cloths to change every day for at least 2 weeks without needed to wash. They also have full box of diaper and several unopened formula box. And I had 2 play and pack bed. We'll they don't take anything bring them to their uncle place where they didn't have any crib, and they give clothes based on the children age when my kids was 1 and 2 size more than their age cause they are tall. Thankfully court wasn't as stupide as cpi and bring them back home, yet they spend 2 nights not sleeping in crib and cpi does give formule box actually and they were able to use their cousin clothes. So yes if cpi do a better job kids will have clothes. Also I used liniment to wash diaper area and they didn't take it, so use wipes and my baby got rash. They don't care about the kids and they have baby under 2 y/o in toddler carseat looking forward instead of backward.
All the government money invest for having those people not able to do their job correctly --'
I always find your videos so comforting. I would love to go to your house as a foster kid, I feel so safe watching your videos and seeing how much you care about kids.
I’m not likely to foster, as I work full time and have some physical disabilities that would likely rule me out, but I find your videos really encouraging to watch. Mostly cause so much of the world can seem like a terrible place, but knowing there are people who care, who think about these little people who have nowhere to call home. Your kids, however long they are with you, are granted such a safe space. Somewhere they can relax for a while.
As an adult with autism, I especially love that you let the kids pick their own sheets. I'm extremely picky about bedding. I never thought of using a stretchy sheet that way before, though. I don't necessarily think it would work for me. But I work with kids on the spectrum and that's a great suggestion for the parents when looking for ideas to help their kids sleep in their own beds!
I love the effort and care you put in your videos. They really help a lot. Also love all the nice details in the room, so well thought!!
Laura, you really are a gem. The kids staying in your care are really lucky to have you. Thank you for all that you do
I currently have my nieces probably permanently, I couldn’t believe the extent of the abuse and abuse around food!! . YOU have helped me so much with your videos you have no idea! Please keep posting this amazing content. ❤your truly amazing
Some brilliant ideas, for any child, not just foster children (though obviously they are likely to have higher levels of needs). I also like that you mention neurodivergence and use the term dysregulation - I am AuDHD and have had meltdowns that have made me pretty ill, the level of understanding, compassion and support you show is truly heartwarming. And anticipating their needs ahead of time, like noises they may hear, is wonderful - it’s so much better to head off potential issues if you can, than to responding to something after it happens. It is good to teach children to be able to cope with things that happen to them but that learning needs to be built on a foundation of trust and security.
I am highly unlikely to ever be caring for children (for personal and health reasons), but have seen things in your video that can help at any stage of life - building in security and relaxation, ease of tasks like changing beds, as well as physical items like star projectors and Lycra sheets.
As a past foster kid, I can't say how beneficial all of this would be. I have NO idea where you get your patience and never-ending love from, but I am sure you and your husband will be remembered by every young life you touch.
My 8yr old brother is in foster care, until earlier this year he was in a different state, you're videos give me some piece of mind knowing he's not with me so thank you for all you videos :) (he moved a few hours away from me now but i still cant see him)
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body on tex would you play with your body down that Al the time for me baby with no clothes on your body down that
Do you have a massage toy for your body down that
O❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Do you want to be friends with me on tex I'm a girl I'm 38 old I'm in a wheel chair my body hurts me every day so if I ask you too play with your body down that Al the way for me baby love you too
Play with more in it down that Al the way
Thank you for subtitles!! I really struggle with hearing, but videos like this are so so important to me (my boyfriend, in the far future when we financially are able ofc, wanna foster or adopt, whichevee we find is better for us at the time). I never expect subtitles from my favorite TH-camrs, but it always makes me so happy 🥹 Keeping this one for future reference ☺️
Love your videos, Laura! Thank you for all the work you do on this channel.
The ceiling star projector for those nights that kids can't fall asleep is genius. It's hard to pick one great tip here because they are all so great!
It’s been so helpful and it’s great for so many different ages. It’s worth investing in one that you like. We tried like four different ones before landing on one we love.
Double making the bed with a top sheet in there is so brilliant!
Wow! These are all great tips. I feel like the foster children who come to you must feel so welcomed and loved. God bless you!❤
Honestly don't know why your videos are so comforting to me. I was neglected and abused as a child, and actually had a more violence related version of depression instead of the self hatred type. Instead of sadness and nothing it was raw hatred and anger. It means a lot to me and I'm sure your foster kids to have that quiet space. I needed that alone time as a kid and would even ask for it so I wouldn't hurt another kid for not leaving me alone when I asked. I feel the other side of depression is not well talked about, and not well understood despite homicide being closely linked to depression, not sociopathy. Depression can also make children and adults violent, as well as ptsd. Not quiet and sad. Thank you for acknowledging this intentionally or not instead of shaming children for yelling and needing to have a "tantrum." Sometimes raging out releases a lot of demons and it's healthy if nothing is harmed and everyone is safe and not scared. That's why rage rooms exist after all.
Wow! I sure wish I I had seen some of your videos years ago. I haven’t been blessed with children of my own. I’ve been a nanny. I loved it and I think the kids loved it too. Seen them afterwards. All I got were big hugs from them. Watching your videos I just thought what a wonderful woman. She’s got it all down and then I thought I could do this. I would love to help these children on their journey to becoming an adult. Let these children know they matter and they deserve all the good things that many other children get to have. I am 66 and due to health issues. It’s hard to take care of myself and my husband, but I just wanted to let you know the world needs more people like you if God sends angels one of them would be you.
i find your videos incredibly comforting. I'm an MSW student, and by no means a child in the foster care system. But your kindness really brings me to tears and warms my heart. I feel very safe when I watch your videos.
My parents were so abusive. I wish I had your care instead. I love how knowledgable you are about mental health in kids as well. I struggled alot growing up and I know you couldve helped me.
I feel like this would be such a comfortable place to be in, especially because some kids don’t feel comfortable in their own house.
Laura, you are an amazing human being. I wish you all the best to get certified again as this is clearly your calling.
Best wishes from Australia x
What a great mum and foster mum you must be. All these are just helpful if you're simply thinking of having a kid tbh. Thanks a lot
This lady is an Angel and it seems like she is amazing with this process ❤
I had a weird experience with a traumatized kid once when I worked as a children’s program coordinator in a dev shelter. I helped a kid by washing his hands for 20 seconds with warm as the water ran in the sink with soapy water and rinse and dry his hands. It was like a miracle. He was bonded to me and calmed right down.
I’m usually so busy I just wash my hands quickly with room temperature water - get them clean, get them dry, all while thinking of the next task. So to take the time to get the water to a nice temperature and focus on the washing (and in that situation, the addition of physical touch and caring attention), can be very calming.
Great ideas. My foster kids are grown but I wish you had been there for me back in the early days. You are spot in my experience.
You are so beautiful and helping so many people, thank you for your beauty and compassion. The power of a woman putting ALL HER SKILLS to make the future better for littles and bigs.
What a beautiful and perfect video. Thank you for sharing. I'm very hopeful that it will positively impact children and their caregivers.
You’re so thoughtful, sweet and amazing!
Your videos are so healing.
I love your content! I’m planning on fostering later in my career once I have a higher salary, and it’s so great to get to start learning!
I LOVE this! I especially love how you do best to accommodate for loud noises as not too many people stay aware of, especially when it comes to potentially disruptive or trauma-inducing noises. One thing I always do when my niece and nephews come to visit is every week or so that they stay with me, I too love to hold a fire drill however my way is a bit unorthodox:
I have combination carbon monoxide/photoelectric/ionization smoke detectors placed on every level of my home including inside of and around sleeping areas on the ceilings just above the interior doors along with one each placed in my attic, outside of my living room, kitchen, and also my basement (since I charge my e-bike in the basement).
When it comes to practicing said fire drills (I develop different drills for different scenarios) and for one randomized day/time each week I conduct the fire drills by holding the test button of whichever room the smoke alarm is placed in and letting the unit sound for about a period of two minutes (since it's usually where you have
I hadn't heard of that app before! Thanks for sharing.
That app sounds really useful, wonder if there are equivalent apps for other countries? (I’m in the UK)
Ah Laura. You're the best. Your videos are gold.
I bought a hatch when we started fostering and it is one of the best things I got!
I recently got full custody of my younger brother (10) and sister (13) when they got removed from my mother’s house and the food thing is real ! Their dad would punish them from eating food and wouldn’t give them food often and fed theirselves more than them. When they came to my house they would raid the kitchen and eat almost everything up so fast on a regular and steal and hide snacks. I had to get them to understand the importance of not eating the way they did or just eating up everything just bc they had the free will to. I’m 23 with a 6yr old of my own with no government assistance so I’m trying to make it work and make their living situation a lot more comfortable than what they came from. Ik your home is an AMAZING foster home !
Thankyou for all that you do! Your videos are so helpful and inspiring!
ty for watching!
I love this.
Many Foster families only use the kids for videos most of the time. This is actually really interesting (I live in Europe and don't have any experience with fostering or similar things).
As far as I know (only from reading guidelines) in Switzerland every foster child needs to have a room for themself. So if you have one spare room, you can foster one child. If you have two spare rooms, you are allowed to foster two... Renting a flat with more than 4 bedrooms (we need 2 to 3 for ourself) can get insanely expensive, even for a couple with a good double salary 😔
I wish all foster parents were like you!
thats a great idea (for the fridge). I will officially be licensed next week!!
You are one of a kind, Laura! Thank you to both you and others that are helping kids and families in crisis in such a beautiful and intensional way ❤❤
I like the idea of letting someone outside to run around when they have intense feelings.
Going outside is one of the best strategies - helps the caregiver too :)
I have been adopted from Russia and am neurodiverse. Because I was in an orphanage I have behavioral difficulties. I love pressure and tight dark spaces. I have been told I l8ke this because In the orphanage I never had a mom figure so I like these spaces because it makes me feel safe and secure.
Love it! It's like a cosy hotel suite for kids.
Laura, check out Brolly sheets (a Brolly is a word for umbrella). An alternative for double making the bed.
I really wish i had a foster parent like you.
Thank you for being a good foster parent and spreading awareness. You are an angel on Earth. 🩷
Heck I'm a grown woman and I wanna be your foster kid!
Thank you so much for what you’re doing! ❤🎉
I’m curious, are you fostering kids right now currently? I remember you saying that there was a problem with continuing fostering because they can’t cover the pool insurance… I hope you are. The kids need you. I wish I can foster & I have asked my state’s foster agency & they said I can’t because we’re on housing. But I still dream of it & love foster kids
No, we were decertified and we chose not to move to county. Our kids remain in our home. 💛 I'm going to pursue CASA I think.
@@foster.parenting kids remaining being foster kids or biological kids?
@@foster.parenting what do you mean you chose not to move to county?
@@angelicagarcia6415you can foster through agencies or through the county you live in.
@angelicagarcia6415 they would've had to go through a different source (the county) to continue to foster and get recertification through them. But they chose not to do that.
Someone once asked me how I would define a successful life. I said a happy life, and they then asked me, What does a happy life look like? i said when i am in a stable position mentally, physically and financially to be a safe haven for foster kids
the mini fridge is also great for when you have a baby you can have formula in there
great point!
You’re so amazing I have been doing my own movement for angels I wanna do foster care one day! This year I have 15 kids who haven’t got adopted :( it’s sad bc there story is sad, I’d love your shout out to help them babies
Great job, Laura
Thanks for another great video ❤❤
Will be getting a membership as we just started our foster licence journey
@Laura - Foster Parent Partner
Hey Momma, can I make a fear related suggestion about your hooks:
There was a foster child in my sisters class at school and he used one of those hooks to self exit.
You can get hooks that will break under body weight and I pray this is something you'll never encounter but I saw them and worried.
You are amazing and full of insight and doing good that you don't even realise!
Love Auntie xxxx
I can't carry to term so I am thinking of fostering and your videos are very informative, thank you.
Are you an occupational therapist or did you have experience with OT in some way? You have great recommendations for sensory regulations. Some things that might help with your calm-down space could include a pop-up blackout tent, noise-canceling headphones, weighted stuffed animals, and visual sensory toys (like different colored dyed water dripping inside plastic containers). All of these can be great tools for kids who are overstimulated and dysregulated. Love, a pediatric OT who wants to become a foster mom :)
These are great suggestions!
it's got to be so hard to not have your own family! My mom and I bought backpacks and filled them with comfort items and donated them to a local foster care agency.
This is so helpful! Can you please share link to the stars projector?
The brand is Airivo. They don't make that exact one anymore :( Here is a similar one with good reviews from that same brand. amzn.to/3TnsEN5 (amazon affiliate link)
I love this a lot just saying that right now
danm...honestly im a 14 level 2 autistic teen...this place sounds like a house i would actually be happy in everyday...
This video was perfect thank you
I have no desire to foster, but I would love to adopt one day.
Hello, thank you so much for all your videos they are incredibly helpful to lots of people. I have a question, what is the pop thing ? It's in the box of comfort things for children at 7:59
Double bed making! 🙌
I'm glad you're making these videos. You need to be running classes too.
Am I 19 yes. am I not even moved out of the house yet? Yes. Do I have money no. Did I watch this whole video? Yes I did very much so.
Such a cool video .what is that star machine called and do you know where I can get it?
Thank you for sharing!
I was fostered and adopted and didn't even have a bedroom. I had a small bed on a landing.
Hello, could tell me more about beds that can be taken down? Are those like folding beds? Also you mentioned letting kids pick their own bedding and comfort items. Do you take them shopping for that or is it that you already have a lot of bedding they can choose from? I'm trying to figure out the logistics of storage.
Quick question - I remember you had some issues with your license. Were you able to solve that and can you stay a foster parent? It would be such a shame if you weren't able to
No, we were decertified and we chose not to move to county. Our kids remain in our home. 💛 I'm going to pursue CASA I think.
You are amazing!
I have the same rainbow carpet 😂
Question are they allowed to use devices to calm down
sure! tv helps a lot of kids find some calm - adults too!
@@foster.parenting it helps me calm down bc I have anxiety and the main thing I watch is Sam and Colby on TH-cam
Can you make a video on what to do if your foster kid doesn't want to go to visits because they're scared of or hate their parents?
If you had a baby and an older child/teenager at the same time, would you make them share the room?
This is highly dependent on agency and county policies and best practices.
if a kid thinks there is a Monster in he/she's room make monster repellent spray with:water,lavender,and color with non toxic chemicalsit can be the kids Choice of color
Is sharing a room a good idea? I feel like we should foster independence. Especially for foster kids
Of course it will vary by county, but do you know if for babies you are allowed to use monitors that stay on the child?
For her non-foster kid my sister uses a foot wrap thing at night that measures her pulse and blood oxygen percentage to make sure she is okay. I didn’t even think of baby monitors being an issue and now I’m curious.
Most agencies allow camera monitors up until a certain age! But you're correct, it varies by county.
@@foster.parenting thank you!! i am years away from any type of parenting, but my partner and I have been considering fostering for a while and your videos have given us a lot more confidence in the idea. had no clue there was so so much in learning how to navigate the system and hopefully we will better know what to expect. :)
I would suggest talking to the caseworker regarding snacks and food as well. Prader Willi, food allergies, and so on are issues with some of the kiddos.
@foster parenting Just a question based on my own experience as an abused child. I just realized I don't know how to ask this without sounding rude and that is definitely not my intent. If you have a child in your home that was SA since TH-cam won't let me type it, what responsibilities does your husband have in that situation? Or how does he help you with the children? I am having a very hard time asking. Help?
There's actually a video on the channel about this!
My name is Sarah ❤❤❤
💛
What's a hatch?
Link to the sheet instead of weighted blanket?
It's called a lycra sheet! Here you go (affiliate) amzn.to/47GJJaE
they are called lycra sheets
I think it's great that your helping a foster care child i your chanle it's one of my favrotie chanles ever
What do you do if the child is embarrassed of you doing there Landry ( underwear etc.)
Just so you know the word is laundry 😊
What if a kid is compulsive eater? I'm very open with snacks in my house but my son has one friend who will eat all of what I put out and then ask for more. For ex. if I put out chips and fruit for several children to share over the afternoon, she will eat them immediately and still request more snacks. I want to be sharing and have an open kitchen rule but it makes it tough
This compulsive eating could be caused by a medical condition or it could be a way to handle stress.
That said, does that child get enough to eat at home?
@@carynpinkston1939 Yes this child sometimes comes with her own snacks, like big bags of cheetos or whatever. She gets plenty to eat but not a lot of nutrients I think. It's all junk food. She will only eat junk food. If I make a healthy meal she won't have any. Her household is a bit chaotic so maybe she is stress eating. When she comes over I've started saying I have no snacks because she will just eat them all. If I don't allow her to eat them all (like giving her only one fruit snack instead of the whole box) she will repeatedly follow me around asking for them so it's a bit stressful for me. I feel bad I can't give her any snacks but don't know what else to do
Maybe speak with her parents about exactly how much she is eating and that it's a burden on your household. Ask them to make sure they give her enough snacks for her to bring for herself or to help cover the cost of the food she eats when she comes over.
@@audjusushi parents are very chaotic, with social services involved in the past. That's why I related to this video because those kids (the girl and siblings) were close to being foster kids many times. The parents will not respond appropriately so there are many things i don't tell them. I'm just wondering in this video Laura allows unlimited access to snacks. But if I were to do that I feel this girl will eat all the snacks and expect the same the next day. So I was wondering how that works
Good question.
I went through foster care
I am just wondering, do you ever have kids who come with their own suitcases full of an entire wardrobe of clothes, parochial school uniforms and parents who are paying for the parochial school? Do you ever get kids who have no food insecurities and are used to being able to go to get food whenever they want it?
I am just wondering because I have had a brush with CPS recently. My kids are in parochial schools, which we pay for. They are used to having food at their disposal in the kitchen, and a whole wardrobe of clean clothes to wear. They are used to having nice things and have at least one extra curricular activity. Yet CPS was called for alleged physical abuse. Fortunately no news is good news, as our lawyer has said. I think our brush with CPS is over uneventfully. But do you ever get kids who have been well taken care of, have lots of nice things, and would rather just be at home with their mum and dad and siblings?
If you ever got a kid who was enrolled at a local Catholic/Christian school and the parents were already paying tuition, would you make an effort to keep them in that school? Would you find a way for the kids to continue to practise their faith even if it means they need to attend Mass or church services on Sundays? Would you sit with them and help them memorise their catechism even if you don't believe in it because it's a part of their faith? How committed is foster care to helping kids retain their faith? Or does that all stop once they are in foster care? Would you make an effort to help them see their friends? Would you take multiple children from the same family so they don't have to be separated?
Fortunately for me, I was able to hire a lawyer and get this mess straightened out before it went any further. I had legal help to make sure that I didn't say the wrong thing because I was barely able to think clearly after that initial phone call. That call is a mum's worst nightmare, especially a mum who is trying very hard to be the best mum she can be but still struggles. I just worry that my kids will end up in care anyway because my husband has medical issues and I cannot take care of myself and my big family on my own in the event of his death. I wouldn't be able to drive them to school, go to the supermarket on my own, or take them to church on Sunday because I can't drive. I truly wish I could, but I have failed to be able to safely control the car every time I have tried. I could use my medical insurance for transport to doctors appointments, but that doesn't help me with the rest of my job as a mum. I haven't held a job in 19 years and am considered a "vulnerable adult" as the CPS agent put it. I have never thought of myself that way before. I think, unfortunately, that translates to my children being taken into care after their dad dies because of this situation.
I thought you had to stop fostering due to insurance and the pool issue?
That’s correct! I still plan to make content if it’s helpful to people.
"when it's okay to come out" - does that mean you are forcing kids to stay in their room at certain times of day/night?
With a child that's 4 or older (generally speaking)
Making sure they know how to play independently and not wake others up at 4 am every day is important.
Foster child or not.
Shoot...I wanna live with her!