To every person who's self talk started from a negative environment that you didn’t choose, it may feel like positive words are silly- even if you know that you need them. It's OK. You're not alone. Our environments were full of lies & toxicity. What they said to you wasn't true. You deserve better. That's not silly- it's true, and it doesn't matter what those ppl think about you. Do it for you- don't wait for permission or acceptance. Accept & care for yourself. You got this 🤚🏽 We got this!
I wish I could tell myself this and truly believe it. Unfortunately my brain tells me negative things constantly. I don't know how to be happy or change my thinking
I totally understand this it takes work but you eventually have to block them out and almost laugh at them because they don't know any better when in reality we know they do but we have to make them very tiny. And then work on the way to get away from those people that takes a bit of work as well I've done that too if you can't even I don't know pull over on the side of the road somewhere and just journal anytime you can steal a quiet moment cherish it until those moments become minutes and hours and days and weeks until you're free I hope the best for you I don't know if your spiritual but prayer everyday hard saying it out loud absolutely saved my life godspeed friend remember make them tiny
Exactly my issue.3 of us live in a house and the one that is toxic lived here 10 yrs already. We asked her if you don't like it why don't you move. She is the only one that can afford to move .She just enjoys making our lives miserable. We finally come to an understanding I the other roommate is to do exactly what the one comment said, look at what she is doing, and then you can see through it like a glass and it's sad.
I can relate to these topics so well many years I was thaught to think in a negative way there's a therapist that said to me there's a black and white thinking pattern it's either a bad or good thinking world and people tend to turn towards the bad a lot more, not giving the good that much attention I've realized it's not easy like anything in the world but in keeping a consistent positiveness is essential for the black and white thinking pattern in my experinces it's helped me but for anyone it's a tough thing to keep up even in the hardiest times consistency is key.
Your internal monologue is the difference between self love and self hate… it’s a journey to changing and is like learning a new language, so be kind to yourself and take your time.. ❤️❤️❤️
And internal dialogue is the difference between success and failure. The irony is that the most capable people, gifted people are often the least confident. It socks!
@@privatez6967 being confident is a skill anyone can learn for sure, I used to suffer with really bad anxiety and I had to learn, but now I’m able to do what I do now because I learned 🙏🏽🙏🏽 you won’t regret it
I’ve lived with negative self talk for as long as I can remember. I’m up for a huge promotion and they have all the faith in my ability to crush the role yet I’m struggling to believe it. I’m interviewing in 5 days and I’m working very hard before then to stop thinking I can’t do it.
I do journal every day and will add the 5 things I want and why. Your videos help me a lot. And I’m on day 4 of the high five and that seems to do ok. So thank your very much. Much love and peace to you.
Sometimes when I get angry at myself after screwing something up, I sob and say, “I REALLY AM… JUST A DUMB BUNNY!!” and I needed help to stop myself from any form of negative self talk.
#1 podcast is my hope for you too! Your helping everyone so much! Also, not that it’s the most important, but you look lovely today 💗makeup, hair, outfit-everything is perfection ✨🌟
Thank you so much for the video. I assume self doubt is something everyone feels at times - some of us more than others maybe. The fact that you have suggested positive actions to take makes sense and gives hope that changes are possible with effort.
Thanks for advice. You are a godsend. I spent trying to deal with negative, offensive comments made by other people this only fuels the inner critic. It always creep back on me when I settle down to do creative work but I soldier on until the work is complete. Only then do I feel better. I like your previous video on focus the positive, good things that happen in the day. I have been journaling for years, only recently I pulled out old journals and read entries seems nothing changed as I felt unhappy and anxious say like 10 years ago. High 5 in mirror eventually worked but took more 5 days till I was comfortable seeing my reflection.
This interview was golden: thanks to the interviewer for asking the exact question I’ve been looking answer for in a very long time and thanks Mel for the beautiful & useful advices. I’m definitely starting tomorrow morning 🙏🏼
*To all dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If your surround yourself with love and with right people, Anything is possible.* Cheering for you✨..
This was amazing!!! I’ve read so many book & watched so many videos and this is the 1st one that actually answered that question!! The one about what to do if u have spoke to yourself negatively for years!!!! Thank you so much 😊
Thank you Mel Robin hearin your word and this talk helped get back up on my feet. I suffer from skitzofrienya and this helped me so much and I make so many mistake that if I make one I feel like my life will fall apart but hearin this I can see the truth how life is actually is and motivated me to make in my life and I been 100 percent positive with my life. Takin advantage of light to the best way I can.
Personally, how I battle with my negative self talk from the moment I wake up is pull up a video like this, then from that moment on if I slip into negative self talk I mentally and sometimes verbally push confident self talk over my negative self talk. So for example if I start the day depressed missing my ex or thinking that I’m not going to get the certifications for my career that I plan on getting, I push thoughts like “fuck that, I’m going to get this certification because I’m going to put the work in to do that shit.” Or in the case of missing my ex “why are you stressing over so and so, she’s afraid to talk to you because the strong connection and feelings you guys have scares the shit out of her. The love between you guys is so strong it’s driving her nuts. She knows you’re the exception and she knows that if she gets too close to you again she’ll fall in love with you again. She might put on a front on social media like she’s having the time of her life, but you know she’s hurting just as bad as you do sometimes. LAW OF ATTRACTION BABY LET IT GO AND IT’LL COME BACK SOMEWAY SOMEHOW” on some self absorbed shit then once I start filling my mind with those confident thoughts, there’s nothing throughout the day that can hurt me. Not only am I reframing my brain in a way that propels me forward for the day, it’s creating a standard for that I might have these negative thoughts, but what I feel in my heart and soul is my true reality not the negative I’m feeling.
Today I failed badly. But this time it wasn't the same, I could also score wins because I committed to the "nah bro forget about what happened for a second and focus on this, you'll do great here"
I think it’s taken me until very recently to recognise my Perfectionism, and to realise I have perfectionistic traits. I think I missed it because I had a notion of what a perfectionism “looks like” and perfectionism isn’t an image. Perfectionism is very internal.
I almost lost a nursing job for practicing positive self talk at work- it was a psych facility. The chief nursing officer said someone told her I was acting funny. Based on this and a lot of experiences within the black community, people dont really understand or respond well to seeing positive self-talk.
Something is wrong with me! Cheering will make me weaker because of the high expectations, but if they didn't like me playing! then that is what motivating for me. I will do my best and prove them wrong. Otherwise, I am a bad player as they predicted
"You are a piece of shit" That is my dad's favorite line when i was a kid when i bring my report home after trying so hard to get a passing grade and I was facing adhd.
So sorry to hear that. Did you know you had ADHD as a child or learn of it as an adult? How has knowing helped you succeed? I have a 24 year old that I believe flew under the radar until in high school but doesn’t seem to want to accept it, seek help for it, and letting negative thinking in instead of embracing knowledge is power and working with it. Any suggestions without being a helicopter parent? I’d like to see her blossom. If you don’t care to share I respect that.
"Timing is everything" they say. Perhaps the problem is we keep ignoring the put downs, we take and we give to others. Maybe, if we respond quickly to negativity, we can improve. thanks
I'd very little self-talk in my head till my diagnosis of Parkinson's features to occur two years ago. Now the self-talk does not stop at all. It goes 24 hours a day. Mel, what can I do to stop at?
I constantly beat myself up And then, if/when I realize it I beat myself up for beating myself up and being ungrateful and you know. I suck then I suck. And I remember feeling guilty for existing in pre-k or kindergarten. And that has plagued me and still does. It feels ethically wrong to be okay with / nice to myself. And even if I want to get out from under this self hatred; I haven’t…found a way
I'm afraid I may be different. As a recovering addict every thought of trying to put in a positive thought as met immediately with an overbearing intrusive thought. That not only trumps any positive but it can also instill a very dark uncomfortable feeling that I have any time I try to do anything good anything right or anything positive it just doesn't feel good after spending my life manipulating and lying and stealing and doing all the attic behavior. Even after counseling cognitive therapy 12-step programs which I am still in that's the one thing I can't seem to harness is that dark intrusive kind of like a being slimed feeling that overtakes me by then it has sucked everything positive out and I just carry on and kind of a gray area mode for the rest of the day again
Hi Diana! I'm a stranger and I don't have the knowledge to give you concrete advice, but I just wanted to say you should be very proud of yourself! What you're doing right now, getting help for yourself and changing, is VERY hard to do, and you're doing it anyway! I hope you are proud of yourself, and I know you can do what's best for you. Keep going, and I wish you luck.
@@Tkm-bi8gk sometimes the best motivation comes from complete strangers. And sometimes when you click on to something it serves more than one purpose thank you again
*I dare say, at the of the day, you will be on a long path and surprisingly alone, so take it easy on yourself, don't be serious about what you think. It's just point a of view.*
To every person who's self talk started from a negative environment that you didn’t choose, it may feel like positive words are silly- even if you know that you need them. It's OK. You're not alone. Our environments were full of lies & toxicity. What they said to you wasn't true. You deserve better. That's not silly- it's true, and it doesn't matter what those ppl think about you. Do it for you- don't wait for permission or acceptance. Accept & care for yourself. You got this 🤚🏽 We got this!
You are loved.
You are cherished.
You are needed.
You are safe.
You are amazing.
Sending you so much love xx
I wish I could tell myself this and truly believe it. Unfortunately my brain tells me negative things constantly. I don't know how to be happy or change my thinking
@@lteller4445don’t ever stop telling yourself nice things, over time you’ll believe it trust me
I love listening to you Mel, your voice, you’re very direct, and you articulate your message so well.
Hard to be positive when your surrounded by toxic people and can't leave because you have nowhere to go.
I totally understand this it takes work but you eventually have to block them out and almost laugh at them because they don't know any better when in reality we know they do but we have to make them very tiny. And then work on the way to get away from those people that takes a bit of work as well I've done that too if you can't even I don't know pull over on the side of the road somewhere and just journal anytime you can steal a quiet moment cherish it until those moments become minutes and hours and days and weeks until you're free I hope the best for you I don't know if your spiritual but prayer everyday hard saying it out loud absolutely saved my life godspeed friend remember make them tiny
not impossible though, you can do it!
Exactly my issue.3 of us live in a house and the one that is toxic lived here 10 yrs already. We asked her if you don't like it why don't you move. She is the only one that can afford to move .She just enjoys making our lives miserable. We finally come to an understanding I the other roommate is to do exactly what the one comment said, look at what she is doing, and then you can see through it like a glass and it's sad.
Golden Words of Mel "Somewhere along the line you have stoppped saying, you got this, you gonna make it".
I can relate to these topics so well many years I was thaught to think in a negative way there's a therapist that said to me there's a black and white thinking pattern it's either a bad or good thinking world and people tend to turn towards the bad a lot more, not giving the good that much attention I've realized it's not easy like anything in the world but in keeping a consistent positiveness is essential for the black and white thinking pattern in my experinces it's helped me but for anyone it's a tough thing to keep up even in the hardiest times consistency is key.
Your internal monologue is the difference between self love and self hate… it’s a journey to changing and is like learning a new language, so be kind to yourself and take your time.. ❤️❤️❤️
And internal dialogue is the difference between success and failure. The irony is that the most capable people, gifted people are often the least confident. It socks!
I meant to say it "sucks"
@@privatez6967 being confident is a skill anyone can learn for sure, I used to suffer with really bad anxiety and I had to learn, but now I’m able to do what I do now because I learned 🙏🏽🙏🏽 you won’t regret it
Mel helps us all realize things we never knew. She teaches us things that we were too blind to see and think about.
Or we do know, but need someone like Mel to remind us. 🤗🤗🤗
@@LittleTut Yeah.
I’ve lived with negative self talk for as long as I can remember. I’m up for a huge promotion and they have all the faith in my ability to crush the role yet I’m struggling to believe it. I’m interviewing in 5 days and I’m working very hard before then to stop thinking I can’t do it.
I do journal every day and will add the 5 things I want and why. Your videos help me a lot. And I’m on day 4 of the high five and that seems to do ok. So thank your very much. Much love and peace to you.
Sometimes when I get angry at myself after screwing something up, I sob and say, “I REALLY AM… JUST A DUMB BUNNY!!” and I needed help to stop myself from any form of negative self talk.
I wanted to cry hearing this. Very much appreciated 🙏
If you learn to truly say ‘you are amazing’ from self love and not ego… you’ve won the lottery 10x over 🙏🏽🙏🏽
I love this! ❤️
@@relaxedbodymind6124 ❤️❤️🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@Maxhindle - LOL!
I would take the lottery 100 times over !!
It's very often the same ego that says bad shit, making it easier to hate yourself when you fucked up.
One thing is u should consider ur own self as I not an U
Just yesterday I wrote in my journal, Mel Robbins believes in me!!
You are simply amazing, Mel. I lost my son a year ago. Simply listening to your podcast makes me feel ease. Thank you.
Mel this video is incredible. I so much at this very point in my life NEEDED to hear everything that you discussed in this. Thank you
So grateful for the practical step by step advice Mel! Looking forward to what you will share next…. Thanks 🙏
#1 podcast is my hope for you too! Your helping everyone so much! Also, not that it’s the most important, but you look lovely today 💗makeup, hair, outfit-everything is perfection ✨🌟
Thanks Mel. I'm trying to overcome my tons of negative thoughts. From today I will try to tell myself how amazing I am.
Thank you so much for the video. I assume self doubt is something everyone feels at times - some of us more than others maybe. The fact that you have suggested positive actions to take makes sense and gives hope that changes are possible with effort.
Self love is what it is all about! Sandra
Thanks for advice. You are a godsend. I spent trying to deal with negative, offensive comments made by other people this only fuels the inner critic. It always creep back on me when I settle down to do creative work but I soldier on until the work is complete. Only then do I feel better. I like your previous video on focus the positive, good things that happen in the day. I have been journaling for years, only recently I pulled out old journals and read entries seems nothing changed as I felt unhappy and anxious say like 10 years ago. High 5 in mirror eventually worked but took more 5 days till I was comfortable seeing my reflection.
This interview was golden: thanks to the interviewer for asking the exact question I’ve been looking answer for in a very long time and thanks Mel for the beautiful & useful advices. I’m definitely starting tomorrow morning 🙏🏼
*To all dreamers out there, don't ever let the world's negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If your surround yourself with love and with right people, Anything is possible.*
Cheering for you✨..
@hafezdd - Where do I find this love and positive people?
Minor Detail ..... lol!
What if my own homies are toxic and passimistic 🥺🙂and they even don't let me take a break from them ... how can I get rid of this negative environment
This was amazing!!! I’ve read so many book & watched so many videos and this is the 1st one that actually answered that question!! The one about what to do if u have spoke to yourself negatively for years!!!! Thank you so much 😊
Thank you sooo much Mel. Definitely going to be trying this. Much love ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️👍
Thanks Mel! Your videos have been a big help to me during a rough time. You have really helped to lift me up.
Thank you Mel Robin hearin your word and this talk helped get back up on my feet. I suffer from skitzofrienya and this helped me so much and I make so many mistake that if I make one I feel like my life will fall apart but hearin this I can see the truth how life is actually is and motivated me to make in my life and I been 100 percent positive with my life. Takin advantage of light to the best way I can.
Mel, ur advices just really simple to really do it! Thank you❤
Personally, how I battle with my negative self talk from the moment I wake up is pull up a video like this, then from that moment on if I slip into negative self talk I mentally and sometimes verbally push confident self talk over my negative self talk. So for example if I start the day depressed missing my ex or thinking that I’m not going to get the certifications for my career that I plan on getting, I push thoughts like “fuck that, I’m going to get this certification because I’m going to put the work in to do that shit.” Or in the case of missing my ex “why are you stressing over so and so, she’s afraid to talk to you because the strong connection and feelings you guys have scares the shit out of her. The love between you guys is so strong it’s driving her nuts. She knows you’re the exception and she knows that if she gets too close to you again she’ll fall in love with you again. She might put on a front on social media like she’s having the time of her life, but you know she’s hurting just as bad as you do sometimes. LAW OF ATTRACTION BABY LET IT GO AND IT’LL COME BACK SOMEWAY SOMEHOW” on some self absorbed shit then once I start filling my mind with those confident thoughts, there’s nothing throughout the day that can hurt me. Not only am I reframing my brain in a way that propels me forward for the day, it’s creating a standard for that I might have these negative thoughts, but what I feel in my heart and soul is my true reality not the negative I’m feeling.
At the time this video was posted I was watching a different video of yours for the first time. I love it
Mel, you are looking positively BEAUTIFUL! ☺️🥰😍
This is very profound. Thank you miss 🙏
You just helped me in thousand different ways 💜
Wow, this video really helped me! Thank you!
Man, i love this woman. I hope I'll meet her one day.
*“Words matter. And the words that matter most are the ones you say to yourself.”*
― David Taylor-Klaus
I’ll start tomorrow writing down 5 things I want
Thank you, Mel. Great advice and SIMPLE! 👍
You are amazing and I'm grateful for this channel
Mel! Thank you for the video! I am just great full that you exist ❤️
Reading the book now. I need to make the High 5 a habit!!!!
I'd appreciate it if you made a video on how to change our inner dialogue that was imposed by abusive parents. Thank you.
Today I failed badly. But this time it wasn't the same, I could also score wins because I committed to the "nah bro forget about what happened for a second and focus on this, you'll do great here"
Thank you so much for this helpful video, Mel you look great!!
I really needed this thank you ❤😊
Thanks so much for this...I can live again.💞🙏🏾
I think it’s taken me until very recently to recognise my Perfectionism, and to realise I have perfectionistic traits. I think I missed it because I had a notion of what a perfectionism “looks like” and perfectionism isn’t an image. Perfectionism is very internal.
I almost lost a nursing job for practicing positive self talk at work- it was a psych facility. The chief nursing officer said someone told her I was acting funny. Based on this and a lot of experiences within the black community, people dont really understand or respond well to seeing positive self-talk.
Thank you so much for this snippet. Here I got more aha.
Something is wrong with me! Cheering will make me weaker because of the high expectations, but if they didn't like me playing! then that is what motivating for me. I will do my best and prove them wrong. Otherwise, I am a bad player as they predicted
Ayo thats me too hardcore
Thank you ❣️🙏
Mel your so incredibly beautiful! I mean so like really really beautiful❤️Enjoy 2022 to the fullest❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Mel ✨
Thank you Mel.🤗🤗🤗
Immediately shared this one.
Right on time 🥺
Thank you for sharing❤️
that was awesome!
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
this was wonderful. i would be interested in seeing the writings on the research mentioned here
"You are a piece of shit" That is my dad's favorite line when i was a kid when i bring my report home after trying so hard to get a passing grade and I was facing adhd.
So sorry to hear that. Did you know you had ADHD as a child or learn of it as an adult? How has knowing helped you succeed? I have a 24 year old that I believe flew under the radar until in high school but doesn’t seem to want to accept it, seek help for it, and letting negative thinking in instead of embracing knowledge is power and working with it. Any suggestions without being a helicopter parent? I’d like to see her blossom. If you don’t care to share I respect that.
Thanks for sharing it hits something in me
That the trick, I don't believe it when I say it, for so long the opposite has been the case, that the inner negativity is so loud.
I loved the content of this video, but I jumped at the end when she came back on 😅
Hi Mel , we love you too,HIGH FIVE😉.
"Timing is everything" they say. Perhaps the problem is we keep ignoring the put downs,
we take and we give to others. Maybe, if we respond quickly to negativity, we can improve. thanks
I'd very little self-talk in my head till my diagnosis of Parkinson's features to occur two years ago. Now the self-talk does not stop at all. It goes 24 hours a day.
Mel, what can I do to stop at?
I constantly beat myself up
And then, if/when I realize it
I beat myself up for beating myself up and being ungrateful and you know. I suck then I suck. And I remember feeling guilty for existing in pre-k or kindergarten. And that has plagued me and still does. It feels ethically wrong to be okay with / nice to myself. And even if I want to get out from under this self hatred; I haven’t…found a way
Are you a mind reader, Mel? Your so intelligent.🙏😇
Thanks 🙏
Any tips on negative/ positive self talk when trying to lose weight? I feel like this makes it a lot harder, because you only can make "mistakes"
@2:52--she's in my head! 😮
Different people are motivated by different things. Some of us thrive in adversity
Wow
You r too good and mind blowing your speech
👍you send this
Mel 👏🏽 Motha 👏🏽 Fucking 👏🏽 Robbins ❣️
I don't believe in myself at all once so ever . Saying something kind about myself iss lying to myself .
The link attached to this post is not linked to Mel's High Five Book but to a fake scam book with the same name.
I'm afraid I may be different. As a recovering addict every thought of trying to put in a positive thought as met immediately with an overbearing intrusive thought. That not only trumps any positive but it can also instill a very dark uncomfortable feeling that I have any time I try to do anything good anything right or anything positive it just doesn't feel good after spending my life manipulating and lying and stealing and doing all the attic behavior. Even after counseling cognitive therapy 12-step programs which I am still in that's the one thing I can't seem to harness is that dark intrusive kind of like a being slimed feeling that overtakes me by then it has sucked everything positive out and I just carry on and kind of a gray area mode for the rest of the day again
Hi Diana! I'm a stranger and I don't have the knowledge to give you concrete advice, but I just wanted to say you should be very proud of yourself! What you're doing right now, getting help for yourself and changing, is VERY hard to do, and you're doing it anyway!
I hope you are proud of yourself, and I know you can do what's best for you.
Keep going, and I wish you luck.
@@Tkm-bi8gk sometimes the best motivation comes from complete strangers. And sometimes when you click on to something it serves more than one purpose thank you again
I high fived my reflection, but now I need to clean the mirror
God, I hope this works
*I dare say, at the of the day, you will be on a long path and surprisingly alone, so take it easy on yourself, don't be serious about what you think. It's just point a of view.*
❤
♥️♥️♥️♥️
Mom please stop sending me these videos
👍
So right away I can’t admit I’m wrong or something is wrong? Why do you think I clicked
In Christ all thing are possible !!
When are you going to clash with Tony Robbins?
🙏👏👏👏👏
What do you do when someone talks negatively to you?
9000o9
U r so beautiful love u
I wouldn’t mind listening to you, but you’re cussing turns me off
So boring
Is self hatred the reason why I WANT to keep lashing out ?
Thank you. I needed this-
👍