Does your life feel broken?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- Could ancient ceramics be used to fix online brain rot?
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Thanks for watching :) - บันเทิง
Thanks so much for watching!!
Go to dayoneapp.com/struthless and use code struthless to get a limited-time offer of a two-month free trial with Day One Journal Premium.
Also - what I said about favourite failures!! Would love to see some if anyone's feeling generous :)
You could have split this into multiple videos.
1:00 1:56
Yo, long-time Japan resident here. Setting aside how the west has extrapolated a metaphor from kintsukuroi/kintsugi above and beyond the simple crafting technique it is in its home country, one important aspect people seem to miss is that the gold application is the last step and is, essentially, optional. In the traditional kitsugi technique, the joining of the pieces doesn't occur from the gold but from the lacquer, and the gold is applied over the lacquer to visually enhance the cracks. (Trying to use a "gold" lacquer or mixed gold and glue is going to be a weaker join than proper lacquer.) It you are going to go for the westernized metaphor, I think this difference is an important one...
We can only look back and tell our stories with this polished (palatable) narrative once we've decided the journey is complete and ready to be presented to an audience. But before we get to that point, we have to put in the work of recovery. You might like to tattoo a clever design over a wound, but you must let the scar form first. You might hope to bear your cracks boldly with gold, but you first have to set them with glue.
It's not a romantic story until it's finished, and if you aren't aware of that, you might find yourself going through crisis and thinking you can't come out of this beautifully because, while you might see everyone else's finished works, you can't see the gold on your own that's not (yet) there. It comes last.
_(edit: typo)_
Thanks, that’s helpful!
Beautifully put
Wonderful comment! Thankyou.
Honestly your metaphor works so much better and is a much healthier mindset
Made a meaningful message more so! I absolutely agree and thanks for taken the time to write it!
My biggest failure was that I was depressed and did nothing for 8 years. But getting out of that forced me to learn how to regulate my emotions and handle my thoughts to such a degree I don't believe I can become depressed again. I also have better resistance and can keep calm in emotionally intense situations.
Yo dude you and me both, also 8 years down the toilet for me. But over and over again I have proven myself that I am resilient now! Good luck in life :)
Same. I lost my whole 20's.
I genuinely wanted to write it. I was severely depressed when I was 14-22 years old, and only then forced myself to find help from a professional. Then it took years for me to heal. So I wasted "the best" years of my life on it. But now as I am matured, I think I am living the life I missed without recklessness teenagers and young adults are known for.
Damn this hit close to home, just last year I finished my bachelor's degree 7 years late...
Better late than never, I guess
As someone who's in their late 50s, I have bad news for you, you never get over depression. You learn to live with it in your life, you learn to not ignore it. But it is never cured.
In Permaculture, Bill Mollison says that "the problem is the solution". One of his famous quotes is "you don't have a slug problem, you have a duck deficiency" 😅🦆
Yeah!!! a permaculture fan..... A duck deficiency.... Genius
Totally with you... Currently based in the UK, with a massive housing problem for the fourth time. I Love Bill's approach... So the problem is either me, being in UK, houses, or some weird X factor I haven't thought of yet, possibly I give up all my possessions and become a nun 😂 or apply to the space program, at 50 🤭🤭🤭..
My favorite failure was turning 26. I was very unhappy and decided to get Blackout drunk and be verbally abusive to my long-term friends so that they'd hate me and I could end my life with less guilt.
They ended up hating me and cutting me off, but losing them only made me yearn to live and get sober. It taught me that no amount of history (in this case 20 years of friendship) made up for going too far, and that learning comes from holding people accountable. I regret the pain I caused them by my actions, but I am grateful that it at least resulted in me not taking my life or my remaining friends for granted. We still aren't friends after years, and I don't blame them, but I wish they knew I at least did not waste the lesson. I hit rock bottom, but who I am from hitting rock bottom has brought a lot of good to those in my life and those tangential to me.
heyyy there... that honestly sounds so rough and a hard lesson.... Props to you for keeping a positive outlook through it and awesome.... For what it's worth, It might be beautiful if you re-kindle your relationship with them, if they really mean a lot to you. We all make mistakes and thats the deal of being human
I second the above, a vulnerable and honest letter can move mountains sometimes. But I’m glad you have peace
@@HouseJug @anveshreddyp2375 I would like to reconnect some day, but at the time they expressed that they didn't want to hear from me an I'm still blocked, so I feel it's best to view that block as them not wishing to hear from me and respecting their boundaries. Their idea of hanging out was getting blacked out and gossiping anyways, so I don't want to invite that back into my life.
Similar thing, but the friends were enemies anyway, so for the best.
as a former binge drinker also i am glad to hear that the pain you went through brought you a new future to grow into, take care
I had cancer when I was 19, after I got the all clear my life mission was to see the world, party everyday, continually travel and never settle down...
I failed
I met a girl at a festival, fell in love, moved in together, got a cat, started a business, bought a house, got married, had a kid, now pregnant with a second child & I quit drinking
The antithesis of my life plan, the mission was a failure
But I'm so happy ♥️
Thanks for your content Struthess, I recommend your book to everyone 🙌🏻
Love this!!
Yeah, you didn't fail, you definitely won!! ❤ The older I get, this just sounds more and more like a dream :)
Here's another fun fact to boost your mood. Every week do at least one 15 minute 'Awe Walk'. This is just a regular walk, but you have to look around and try and find 'Awe' in something. Can be anything; a beautiful tree, color of the sky, three cars in a row with the same color, whatever. The title of the paper says it all: "Big Smile, Small Self: Awe Walks Promote Prosocial Positive Emotions".
Hey! That’s awesome! Do you have a link to that article? I’d love to read it. 😊
Google Taoist Carefree Wandering. Saved my life.
The Awe Walk changed my life.
Anandamide trigger
Some people have been sharing some really heavy stuff in the comments, but a small but great failure i had the other day is what's on my mind;
I was working on a storyboard, and in trying to work quickly I hadn't saved correctly and I lost a bit of work. I got annoyed at myself for losing those first few frames of the storyboard, but there was nothing i could do other than redraw them. When i redrew them, they were quicker and angrier, but what it also did was give the drawings way more energy and visual interest.
Favorite Failure: In 2018, I sold my house moved my whole family abroad, and thought I had an amazing offer to teach in China...until I got deported 2 months later. By February of 2019, I had two masters and was now working in a dish room at a hospital to make ends meet, with nearly zero in the bank account.
6 years later I'm literally in my dream career and having amazing success. And wouldn't have turned to this if that challenge hadn't broken me.
What's your dream job?
I'm so happy for you! What a wild story
I wanna know more details!! That's amazing!
yeah, i reckon they're related. i stayed off the internet for a few weeks and noticed all my shitty thoughts went away. as soon as i thought "i can get back on reddit responsibly" and then logged back on, all my shitty thoughts came flooding back.
Speaking as someone who’s deleted the app twice now, I think I’ve learned my lesson.
I've quit going on Reddit and Instagram since about September. I've been great not doomscrolling in public and actually interacting with people. I had a dentist appointment in January and I just sat in the lobby and stared at the ceiling and thought. I don't need to know about every little thing that is happening in the world, nor do I care about everything that happens in every corner of the internet. If things are important enough, I'll find out about it somehow. Not doomscrolling every second of the day is really nice.
I also use a bike for transportation which has numerous benefits like saving money by not needing to buy gasoline, getting some movement in on a regular basis, and getting to chat with others while out and about. Using a bike for transportation when it rains and carrying things on a bike is very applicable to this video. When it rains, it's easy to just default to driving in comfort, but when you bike in the rain you learn what gear you need to overcome the rain. When you use a bike to go buy things, you use the ole grey matter to figure out how to transport things by bike. Bikes can carry a lot of stuff if you know how to do it, and by overcoming that issue you also get the benefits of cheaper transportation, improved health, and the opportunity to chat with people while out and about.
@@ambiarock590 >I don't need to know about every little thing that is happening in the world
this was exactly my thought, there's no sense in being anxious over things that 1) may or may not even be true and 2) that we have no ability to change in any meaningful way.
I have also blocked reddit and IG. I can't be in a good place with them in my life.
Yeah, I dumped IG for April. It was great! Now it's May 2 and I'm looking again. Why? I think I can delete it now.
My favorite failure is moving to LA to become a TV writer, something I dreamed about nearly my entire life, and leaving LA after only one year. I went through an identity crisis afterward. If I wasn’t going to be a tv writer who was I? I’m happy to say that after I’d say 5ish years later, and a lot more exploration, I am much more confident in myself as person outside of my job. My identity is not tied to my job or my dream. I am much more go with the flow now when it comes to jobs, careers, aspirations, dreams. I fully believe that we’re not meant to be one thing our entire lives. So maybe one day I’ll be a tv writer. But not now, and that’s okay with me.
made it to writers PA and had a mental breakdown lol
My favourite failure was "wasting" two years in the wrong university. I studied computer science in THE most popular school of my country, and tried to push through the impossible demands my professors had just so that I can brag that I got a degree from there. I sacrificed pretty much everything: my hobbies, my friendships, my health - both mental and physical... I was miserable and my only way of escaping that feeling was through my phone. After two years and failing many courses - some more than once - I decided not only to change university, but to change my outlook of what college is meant to be about. I'm now way less stressed, I joined a club, I made wonderful friendships and slowly but surely got back to the things I loved to do in the past- mainly drawing and writing. I even took on new habits, like going to the gym. It's still a work in progress, I still spend way too much time on my phone as a way of escapism, but I at least feel like I am getting somewhere.
Also, a Leonard Cohen lyric: "there's a crack in everything... that's how the light gets in", or something along those lines.
The whole lyric is so beautiful. "Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in."
My best failure was dropping out of my PhD during covid. But from it, I discovered what's actually important to me, and began a career that will allow me to prioritize my family and free time in a much healthier way. ❤
When I was petrified about an upcoming surgery that would leave me even more heavily scarred than I already was, I drew a 100-panel comic that, in the end, made me ponder the question of what if my scars are the best part of me? I coloured them in gold, in the manner of kintsugi, as I was inspired by a kintsugi class a friend gifted me for my recovery. I saw the parallels.
I have many failures that I just love. I know when I am struggling with a painting and everything is hard and I hate it that, when I am done, it will be my favourite painting in the series, because it was so hard. I love my rejections. Just love them all.
My biggest failure was being hospitalized for the better part of a year due to an unresolved eating disorder and severe depression. My life is completely different now. Healing from all that took a decade but it’s made my life real, instead of performative. Choosing to wrestle with my inner demons blew my life up. Rebuilding the rubble into my the kintsugi piece that is my life has transformed me for the better. Hellish years… but I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
My favorite failure would have to be my failed birth control method back in 2015. My daughter was the catalyst to me getting comfortable with loosening the reigns of perfectionism, and kick started my almost decade of shadow work.
Facing my fear of “not being ready!” At 25, navigating the the anxiety of an unplanned pregnancy and recharting some big life plans to accommodate something I always wanted but may have never pressed the launch button on has been the biggest blessing in disguise. Fast forward and she’s almost 8, a beautiful big sister to two other siblings. Motherhood has given me the chance to reparent myself and embrace wabi sabi (hard)
Great video, Cam! As always, your topics seem to act as a mirror. I swear you’re tapping into the collective 😂
Not sure if it's my favorite failure, but it's certainly my most important: becoming an alcoholic during the pandemic and living with the disease for almost four years afterward. It made me realize how valuable life is and how much I'd been wasting away even before I abused the bottle. Though I still struggle with cravings and the urge to use, I never do and haven't since the beginning of the year. I've even started working on the graphic novel I'd brainstormed right before addiction sent my life into a spiral.
What resonates with me here, more than the kinstugi-mindset, although I like that as well, is the "yearning for less". The online world bombards us with solutions for problems we don't have, for the sake of making money. The more that happens the more likely we are to surround ourselves with things that we have/do out of a sense of obligation or at least of "it's the newest thing", rather than for their utility.
I will hopefully always remember how relieved I was, when I donated a bunch of clothes I didn't wear any more anyway. It's for the same reason that I love sailing so much. On a small boat, you simply don't have the space for lots of fluff. It encourages me to surround myself with things that have a lot of utility, and when I take something for comfort, I'm all the more aware of it. There is a relaxing clarity in that.
Plus, it's also a world full of purpose for your attention. Wind, weather, sun, waves. Paying attention and working with the elements gets you places in sailing, while ignoring them can cost you dearly. It just feels like there is a lot more contrast and context there.
Bottom line is, I believe the modern (online) world isn't just ambiguously poisoning our minds. It is eroding our sense for worth, purpose and luxury by constantly offering us more, just simply more, and selling us less and less return in actual utility as somehow crucial, telling us that we deserve no less. All emotion without any substance.
Also: My favourite failure has been having a mental breakdown, leaving my job, and moving cities to live with a friend. Through mutual connections, I met the love of my life when I was at my lowest point, and he has been my rock ever since. We've been friends for two years, dating for a year now. Edit: typo
I’m about there. Honestly moving to where my friend is, is a huge possibility and i may have the funds now to make it happen 🥲
my favorite failure is the third time I dropped out of college. at that point, it was obvious to me that following the yellow brick road just wasn't how my life was gonna go, and I had to find ways to make a living that didn't necessarily match the script for success that was given out to my generation
I am also a 3x college drop out, so I totally relate to this! I'm 34 now, and off the top of my head I can't think of any peers who went to college successfully and have careers they enjoy. Meanwhile... I accidentally started a successful business. Life gets weird and surprising when you stop trying to follow the yellow brick mold.
Im on my 3rd try at 25 years old.
Thanks guys for making me feel less pressured❤
I'm on my 3rd try now. I am failing now. I'm considering dropping out. Feeling even more lost and depressed now.
@@Princessbubblegum567 dont hate yourself for giving up on something not meant for you, easier said than done but trust that you are a smart capable person, not all of us are meant to go down the formal academia route and for the better, sending lots of love.
@@Princessbubblegum567I finished my degree but regret wasting those years when I could already feel the school and subject weren’t for me. The degree hasn’t really helped with anything and I don’t feel like I learnt much, so the fact that I succeeded (barely) in finishing seems meaningless now. Two years of pointless struggle and unhappiness.
If this is your third time and you’ve had to struggle all three times, shit…. That’s determination.
It’s a hard thing to decide when you’re in the middle of it. I was afraid I would miss out on something important or that it would make me a ‘failure.’ I thought this was the only option for becoming what I wanted to become. I didn’t want to face disappointing my parents.
But I think if you don’t like the subject matter, or can’t bring yourself to do the work for whatever reason, that probably won’t miraculously change and quitting (and preferably not beating yourself up about it too much) can be the best move.
College isn’t crucial in the big picture…There’s usually the possibility to go back to school later in life, with the caveat that that’s more challenging when you have a family and rent and bills to pay etc. Or just to learn or do what you want to learn or do in other ways
Seth Godin’s short book The Dip is about how to know when to quit, might be helpful for making your decision. Good luck!
my favorite failure was being complacent and not being authentic to who I really am from 17-25. As a POC who grew up in a very white community, I grew up with the mindset that I needed to be like everyone else. I lost who I was for the longest time, and didn't really know what I wanted. More than that, I thought I wasn't capable of the things I really wanted. I ended up staying the course and went to school, then went to grad school, and got the job. But it's not what I want. Having all those years of not being true to myself made me really appreciate my creativity now. I love writing, I love music, and I love the idea of performing my poems and lyrics. I love the idea that my creations and pieces let people know who I really am in ways I could never express with typical conversation alone. I went through a breakup at 25, and started to realize everything my ex thought I wasn't was everything I knew I was - I just didn't live that way, so how could I expect anyone to ever know that. That's when I knew I needed to live authentically and show people who I really am. The fear of being perceived is still there, but damn does it feel good to feel known.
Thanks cam for another great video, you really help my brain out when it needs it. Love from Chicago
This comment made me cry. I am a POC and an artist. I havent stayed true to myself, I’ve always tried to appeal to everyone else and neglected my own needs. I am 25 now and going through a break up, my ex boyfriend hasnt seen an ounce of who I really am inside .
Thankyou for sharing ❤️
Getting in a bike accident and breaking my collarbone last summer was actually the best thing for my overall health. There was no excuse now, I needed to go to a physical therapist and work out regularly to regain use of my shoulder.
Now it’s led me to the strongest I’ve ever been and given me the confidence and motivation to keep up that routine and continue getting healthier!
I think I’m in the middle of a Kitsungi process in my life. I’ve been working in the same studio for 5 years. I was well paid, I had security and stability… but I was bored, I lived alone far from my family and I was too tired to work on personal projects or do what I wanted.
So I decided to move out somewhere else. I’ve been looking for work for a year now, watching all my savings slowly disappear. Its very stressful to be uncertain about the future…. BUT, I got to spend time with my family, catch up with friends I hadn’t seen in years, build my website and portfolio from nothing, improved in digital painting and will soon go to Japan for the first time with my mom in a few weeks.
I still don’t know if quitting my job was a mistake or the best opportunity of my life. I guess only time will tell…
"what art did the pain make possible" floored me, thank you Mr Struthless. After a big sporting injury seemed to take away half of what I existed to do, I ended up giving myself some janky art therapy. This turned into a personal clothing brand, which still gives me a lot of satisfaction and opened up a whole new area of my personality that had lain long-dormant. Love you brother
My favorite failures are the ones that cannot be resolved with any amount of "fix." They stand as a testament to my human condition: deeply imperfect. These are the things that keep a person grounded and in search of relationships that understand the condition. The sort of failures that keep one from judging others, having an opinion about others failures, and give one grace to forgive the failures of others around us.
I find that I sometimes struggle with minor inconveniences like things getting caught on doorhandles. Sometimes those would irritate me a lot, but I'm learning to just embrace the imperfections cuz you cannot eliminate every imperfection you have in life, that's not possible. Embrace your flaws, we all have them.
My favorite failure was controlling and shutting off my emotions and convincing myself it was a good thing. I was able to just tell myself I was happy and believe it, but when someone close to me caught me shutting down “negative” emotions the called me out. They taught me the importance of feeling everything. Now I realize I wasn’t feeling happiness, I was feeling mediocrity and was convinced that was a win as long as I didn’t feel “negative” emotions. Now I experience life way more vividly.
This really resonates!
yeah and how did that help you experience more vividly? i'd like to hear more about that.
I don't feel ready to adjust my mindset as to call it a "favorite" failure, but the failure that's had the biggest impact on my life was when university (and a bunch of stuff afterwards) made me burn out so severely that now, several years later, I'm still dealing with chronic mental fatigue and massive confidence issues. As for what I've learned, the experience has made me realize how arrogant I used to be, and has made me more humble as a person, though perhaps a bit too humble, because now I instead have trouble asserting myself.
My favorite failure was realising after my first gf broke up with me that I'd gotten too comfortable in the relationship, which kept me from achieving my goals and being the kind of person I wanted to be.
Favourite failure: Failing out of med school. I’m currently working as an optician and entrepreneur, have many projects in mind for the future and am actually more motivated than ever. Every day in my life I remember how that rock bottom moment that made me think “now what?” gave me the opportunity to think outside the box and move forward. At the time I thought that med school was all there was for me and that I could only do that in life but I’ve never been so wrong in my life.
I bailed out of a Biomedicine Phd at 34. Started uni late at 28, did really well in undergrad and hons, got a phd scholarship. Somewhere in 2nd year undergrad, a lack of social and dating life led me to abuse drugs, which turned the whole process chaotic. Now working a very low paying laboratory assistant job at 38, but very grateful for basic life stability.
I literally have "Find the Message in the Mess" tattooed on my back with a lotus flower. I love this philosophy. My most difficult challenges have offered the most growth. This is how I evolve and grow. Great video❤
favorite failure was moving off grid, only to be kicked out bc we weren’t legally allowed to be there. got a spiritual breakthrough out of it though ✨
My favourite failure: I always wanted to be a writer. I grafted for years and years until i signed with a fantastic literary agent. My first manuscript went out to all the Big Five publishers. Lots of interest, but ultimately it didnt sell.
I learned that the publishing industry is SLOWWWW. my agent suggested i work on my confidence (was cripplingly shy) and perhaps start a TH-cam channel all about my "journey to publication". I started my channel, and fell so madly in love with youtube. Started this channel alongside, which has now been my full time job for a few years, sends me to cool places around the world, gives me a great work/life balance, and I am definitely no longer cripplingly shy.
Still trying to get traditionally published alongside. Had another manuscript fly the nest and not sell. At a bit of a crossroads. But whatever happens with my writing, it has led me to this. So I can't regret failing at all.
Falling into the trap of habitual, chronic drinking has been my favorite failure so far. When I finally hit that crisis moment and decided to take a "break," I unlocked a power I forgot I had inside of me. The power of autonomy. It made me realize at any moment, I can decide for myself what I want my life to be going forward. The past has no hold on what I do today. Now, I know any excuse to relieve me from the responsibility of my behaviors is BS. Grateful I had the opportunity to learn that when I did and not totally wreck my life. Anyways, love your videos. I was just writing a script about this very topic of problems being opportunities.
My favourite dog breed is Border Collie and they're known for becoming destructive if they're not challenged enough. That's always stuck with me and I try to approach life that way. I have 3 cats and my house is full of cat puzzles and climbing devices for them, too. We like to think we're above animals, but we're not. I avoid digital comfort shortcuts whenever I can; no TikTok, no UberEats, as little Netflix/streaming subscriptions as possible. I would 100% become a hermit and I don't want to waste my life.
You always manage to make me cry in the best way. Thanks for being the best channel on TH-cam! My favorite failure was getting pregnant with my kids - neither one planned and both at inappropriate times of my life. My second favorite failure was getting into a relationship with an abusive partner because it taught me to respect myself.
My favorite failure was throwing out my back in weightlifting class in high school. It got me into yoga which kickstarted a loving relationship between my body and mind.
My favourite failure is, buying a house too young with my boyfriend at the time. Then four years later, I had a life changing experience where I lost my ability to speak due to a weird mental health diagnosis.
I’m still fighting to find my voice today, I also gave up my dream job during this time. Which is another one of my favourite failures, I also shut myself off from everything and everyone.
Honestly struthless, I’m so thankful for your voice and creativity ❤
At the beginning of my marriage, for the first 3 years or so, I was on my husband constantly with he intent of "helping him become his best" but really it turned out to be me loving him for his potential rather than for who he was each day. Because of this failure I've learned how to be a much better, kinder, wife, I've learned how to pay attention to what he needs day to day, and we've maintained our beautiful friendship and partnership, and we've depended our love for each other in a way I never could have dreamed possible. Those years were so hard for both of us (he had his own stuff he was working through too) but it has yielded an incredibly beautiful marriage of almost a decade now with my high school sweetheart and gives me so much hope for what kind of amazing life we get to have together.
Oddly enough it wasn't phone or screen time in general that tanked my mental health. What tanked my mental health was the recent realisation that I will never be able to afford anything with a "normal" regular job, and that something like retirement is just a myth like Santa Claus.
None of that is 100% true. That's black and white thinking, aka a symptom of depression (and of being human honestly). You believe all that because you've heard it repeated and seen a lot of evidence in favor of it-online. It's also fortune telling. You don't know what your future will be like. You also don't know what the future of the economy will be like.
Start looking into long term investments. Compound interest could make you wealthy if you sustain the investments for a long time, because what matters the most is the time your investments are working for you and not the amount of money you put into them. Please don't give up on life like that, financial education will change your life. Also I would recommend both the podcast and the book Girls that invest even if you are not a woman. I hope you have a great life btw 🎉❤
You're the only creator I watch immediately when a video has dropped. It was a rough three months during your gap! Glad you're back
Untreatable ADHD and depression for 20+ years.
Lesson learned? Summed up perfectly in a poem by James Goldberg (Phoenix Song)
Burn me down and watch me rise
Burn me down and watch me rise
Burn me down and watch me rise
another time
I like that
I thought i wanted to be a highschool art teacher. i had completed my first degree of fine arts and was moving into my 2nd, a masters of tertiary education. i had gone back to my high school for the practical aspect and in that i had the biggest meltdown of my life whilst trying to show a student 'how to paint something' i realised i wanted to be the once painting and that showing someone 'how to do something' was just not in my nature when art was such an expressive unique thing to each individual. i wanted to simply create art, not teach it. i dropped out that afternoon and now although i am still working full time hours in a cafe, i learned what i truly wanted and am so glad i didnt end up in a job where i would end up with regrets and feel sour towards what would have been my career and a big heap of debt and more mental struggles than i already have.
amazing video, this one really hit home with phones and our ever decreasing attention and decline mental stability/health. its scary but we can all make choices to move in the other direction and get back to not having our eyes glued to screens (which is so much easier said than done) but you have to try at least.
The first failure that comes to mind was moving overseas for 3 months and being completely isolated, alone and depressed. I was an incredibly socially anxious person and didn't know how to make friends, and most importantly I didn't actually REALISE how important friends are. When I was in my home country I often flaked on friends and didn't really go out of my way to do nice things for them.
So when I returned home I valued my friends so much more. I said yes to everything. I didn't flake. I showed my friends how much I value them. This led to so many new experiences and connections. I can't imagine living without a community of friends now. And I'm actually coming full circle in a way and moving overseas 7 years after my first attempt. I feel confident I can build a community from scratch this time around
babe wake up new struthless bideo just dropped!!
my favorite failure was the worst week of my life. so much went wrong, i was completely mentally and physically depleted, utterly defeated and alone. everything, all the stress i had been under, unaddressed trauma rising to the surface, failing multiple uni courses and not knowing if i’d be able to go back, having to move overseas alone, and more and more- i spent the next three months in a major depressive episode.
now i look back on that experience and realize how much resilience i can call upon when i need it. i can be at my absolute lowest and i will still be able to keep myself moving forward. i know now i will always be able to pick up the pieces. what that taught me, and what i see in this video, is that failure in any capacity is not an ending, it’s a realization. i have a really big all or nothing mindset problem, so i’m still working wrapping my mind around that concept 😅
time to journal on it some more!! loved the stuff about how we are craving challenges more now that we spend so much time passively scrolling. looking forward to the next vid!
My favorite failure is my failed tattoo apprenticeship. It was a very stressful work environment that amplified the things I love and hate about both my artwork and the workplace. I learned so much about what I wanted from my artwork as well as how to make it look more professional. I learned how to use references and study more efficiently. I learned about what I can and cannot tolerate in a work environment, from noise to bullies to social interactions. Hell, I even learned a bit about what obtaining a certificate entails! It was a difficult, miserable experience, but I gained a huge wealth of knowledge in just over a year!
Thanks as always, Struthless, for your wisdom and insight. You are such an inspiration to me as an artist.
Hi Struthless,
I just got back here after more than a year as I have just realized that my pursuit for a better life, all the discipline, all the little hacks, all the creative and systemic thinking and all the things you and other authors, content creators, and close ones have taught me over the past few years, have sort of faded away in this addiction fuelled rush for dopamine and quick returns. I have seen a nervous breakdown, struggle with several of my addictions, all over again... And as I sit here, for a moment seeing through the drapes, I came to check you out. To see how you are doing with the channel and just a few minutes in I was washed over by this warm feeling that you and many of your followers are out there struggling just the same, and have been since I left, and I am not alone in this. And I am once again glad for the super-creative, warm, embracing, and honest way of delivering your ideas and running the channel.
Thanks for doing this!
And good luck to all!
I have two favorite failures that has shaped me for the past 3 years. 1. Having to jump around to 3 different community Colleges to finish an associate's degree in arts. 2. ODing. After the last one, I have been meditating more and working on myself while diving into creating art.
Thanks for making a video what I think we ALL intrinsically know deep down. This is why I love camping. Everything is more difficult and uncomfortable, yet the enjoyment and serenity from being in nature is so ... pure. We all crave some kind of returning to our ancestral roots of struggle, hardship and without it, we are all lost and stircrazy.
Watching your videos makes me feel the same way as running and journalling: alive, grounded, excited, and self compassionate. Thank you for everything you do.
this video couldn't of come at a better time, i am in the middle of a potential failure at the moment, exams coming up that i am embarrassingly unprepared for, in an apprentiship i didn't want to do. i have been paralysed by the fear of failure, but thanks to this video my perspective has changed, it's ok if i fail and paradoxically that perspective makes it easier to succeed. thankyou struthless, i've watched your videos since highschool and i couldn't imagine coming of age without your wisdom :)
OMG insta-click haha! Missed you 🙂
My biggest crisis was the breakup with my Ex. The person I had become was the shattering vase, because I had subconsciously created a persona to fit her needs+path instead of my own. Thankfully enough time has passed. The Kintsugi was to ask -only myself- consciously: Who do I wanna be for ME? Why & for what do ›I‹ want to live life?
Thank you sincerely Cam, you are a teacher to me.
My favourite failure: snowboarding off a cliff in 2019 and becoming paralysed from the waist down. Who knew that from this setback I would find peace, headspace and immense gratitude for the simple things in life.
I’m a therapist and a cancer survivor. Before I was diagnosed with cancer 10 years ago, I was over stressed, overworked, and did not take the best care for myself. I felt trapped and did not express myself the way I wanted to creatively. I saw my cancer diagnosis as an opportunity. I learned about truly taking care of myself, listening to my body, and giving myself permission to take action on creative pursuits. I created a web comic called Cancer Owl where are used the comics medium to talk very bluntly about dealing with cancer. This gained traction around the world, and I started telling other cancer, patients and survivors stories in the comic. Eventually, I found myself at Stanford and the hospital at Harvard. I also won an award. In a cancer group that I used to run, the best question we all asked ourselves was “with this new normal, what are the opportunities? “. The comic was my opportunity as well as the way I take care of myself to this day. I’m so happy and fulfilled, my wife and I brought a private therapy, practice together,before I was diagnosed with cancer, I was considering leaving the profession
Today the southest state of Brazil is through the deadliest and most dangerous flood of its history. There are 20 thousand people homeless. Only 9 cities are funcioning normally. There's no water, light, and supplies are missing bc almost all roads are closed. One dam broke, flooding entirely 8 cities, and other six are at risk. The situation is of despair, but even with this crisis, there's still so many people volunteering and helping each other.
This video gave me hope that we can pass through this kintsugi. It is really hard, the flood is almost two blocks from my home, but it'll make us stronger. Thank you!
Also, if you want to help, Rio Grande do Sul's state is asking for international donations. Your help are very needed here.
A contrast: I just increased my blue screen time, but I just got a great dose of wisdom. Well done Struthless.
Def glad I was talked down from breaking up with my partner years ago. I could write a book on all the things I’m grateful and happy for with him. Ultimately he’s truly one of the biggest pillars in my life and I’m glad he’s the one I can lean on.
My favourite failure was having a mental breakdown 15 years ago. It made me realise I was really depressed and although the healing journey was long and painful I’m not 2 years depression free, loving myself like never before ❤
My favorite failure? I actually appreciate all of them. My toxic friendships taught me to set boundaries. My depression made me much happier and more appreciative, faught me to stay calm amd know that all passes
My favourite failure is my art career, leaving school I didn’t know what I wanted to do but I had a love of art and design…so I went for Interior design and got a bachelors degree. As soon as I left uni it totally flopped and I never even got an internship as an interior designer. Not knowing what to do I got a job in care as a stop gap. Turned out I really loved working to help people and this has given me years of rewarding work and a passion for helping people! Art has always been something I’ve had a passion for and in my 30s I really wanted to be an illustrator, so I got a masters in illustration. This lead to my second big ‘failure’ as I’m still not the professional designer I always wanted to be. How ever, I’m now working towards becoming a nurse!
It still pains me that my art and design career hasn’t been the success I’d dreamed off but if it had, I wouldn’t have found the joy in care for people.
But you know it’s all just status and bs really…do what you love every day! Help people make art be happy 🤍
Love your videos so much thank you 💛
So mind blown by the question "what is you favorite failure"! I'd say mine is not really engaging in anything until later in life. Carriere wise, I've always been drawn to human related jobs but was pulled by internal tensions that made it hard to be around people. And I wasn't into a relationship until I was 27.
So the first 5 years of my 20s was feeding my addiction and feeling shit. The second part was getting sober, Bering diagnosed with a PD and recovering. Now almost 32. I have the most awesome 1 year old twins. A wonderful partner. A life filled with flaws but mostly with happiness. I have no more mental health diagnosis. Still in therapy and going back to school to become a therapist, a project i would have ruined if I would have done it earlier.
Thank so much for your videos and your book, well everything you being into this world :)
The last relationship that broke my heart and left me on the floor. Crisis forces you to change if only for a while and seems to make people kinder and more empathetic.
My favorite failure was when I tried to study abroad for college, I moved from brasil to the usa, first time living alone, first college experience and first time living in another country all at once.
I spent 3 years trying really hard to get a degree, and instead got severe anxiety and depression! (im skipping quite a lot of story here) it was the period of my life that i learned the most, and grew the most, but it was one of the hardests things i've ever experienced, and it was so so painfull to come back home without a degree and have to start over.
Im finishing my degree in computer enginneering right now, and never been happier in life. Im struglin g to find a job, live with my parents and I am seeing most of my friends start to gaing pretty good money with their carrers, but im sure im gonna get there, i need to keep my head up and continue walking my path.
My favourite failure is university. I dropped out after first year - I failed out really. And it was the best thing I ever did. University wasn't for me and failing out meant I could find things that suited me better.
After watching this I feel like my fav failure it's the next one. I'm actually in the middle of a struggle so it's hard for me to try and work on what you're talking, since it's all a fresh mess atm. But anyways, I love you from Argentina ❤
howdy, thank you cam for these clear and powerful ideas about kitsughi! my favorite failure was failing to learn an instrument. my brother is younger than me and a naturally skilled musician. I have a learning disability so I grew so frustrated and defeated at struggling for months with concepts he picked up intuitivley. this led to me quitting multiple times. eventually, i radically accepted my struggle to learn music and this forced me to learn how to create systems that break things into the smallest possible steps so I can constantly build momentum to combatt my feeligs of shame and powerlesess. the realization that i could learn in a different way than my brother changed my life and made me feel less powerless. Now i can play better than i ever imagined. the "plate shattering" experience sucked but the rebuilding process has led to massive growth.
It's fascinating to explore how the concept of kintsugi encourages us to find beauty and strength in imperfection. Embracing challenges as opportunities for growth and transformation can truly lead to greater resilience and a more profound appreciation for the beauty of life. 🌟
My favourite failure was probably my second relationship. That was the turning point where I first noticed my issues with jealousy and insecurity, and committed to working on them. Starting that early on in life has done spectacular things for my emotional and mental growth since then, especially regarding relationships. I still have my struggles, but I'm now aware enough of them that I can communicate them up-front, and work *with* a partner, instead of against them like I used to. It's made me realize nobody expects perfect from me, they just expect an effort.
I'm allowed to be a flawed human, if I'm at least *trying* to be better than the human I was yesterday. And if I'm ever not allowed to be anything less than perfect? It's probably a relationship I shouldn't stay in.
Currently, at 43, going through the roughest break-up of my life. It's been a catalyst, and for the first time I'm truly exploring my inner depths (through self-help techniques, a lot of reading and listening, therapy, psychedelics, etc.). I've got the shards in my hands, and slowly I'm mending them together. This video was such a help in seeing this as my reality, thanks mate!
The way you said "we could have a forest pretty quick" totally cracked me up 😂
But seriously, your videos inspired me to get out of my slump after my dad passed. Love your work and bought your book for a few family and friends as well.
Frida also had scoliosis as a kid and full on used art as her long-term companion to dial in her struggle with pain so there is that aspect of continued skill building leads to emergent breakthrough when crisis happens, pushing through catalysis, kind of rebirth, power love all of this❤🎉
My favourite failure is trying and trying again to make it in my chosen field and it always being out of reach but every time I got up and tried again keeps moving me closer and I’ve become more skilled than I ever thought and grown as a person in other unexpected ways because of it!
This was THE most helpful self improvement video I’ve seen to date!! The idea of seeking out that challenge, purposefully breaking yourself and being reforged with gold is such a beautiful concept! Awesome video!!
My biggest favorite failure was letting addiction, abuse, and mental illness control me for most of my life but it what it has given me the is the ability to empathize with anyone and find solutions when others only find hopelessness. Definitely big benefits in my life and I love the idea of improving due to adversity. Thanks, another great one!
You have no idea how much I needed this today. You have no idea how much I needed this message in general. Thank you so much. 😭
So much to say and I how you'll see this Campbell:
1. Can't wait to buy the second book! The first one was incredibly educating and fun to read and I'm sure the second will too ❤
2. It's great to see your videos once again, the wait was hard but worth it 🎉
3. Just got married 2 weeks ago, and the rabbi mentioned kintsugi as something we believe in as a couple, that from wreckage and hardship we can rebuild and rebirth, and it just coincides with everything you said here perfectly! So like.. Extra thank you for unintentionally making me feel like this video was aimed at me individually 😊
Thank you, you amazing person you!!
Biggest failure was being dishonest about my feelings for my ex. I kept myself pushing through a relationship I was conflicted about ending. Next thing I know a year later, I’d still wonder every couple weeks or so if getting back with her was it the right decision. I finally called it quits and it caused so much hurt. I think if it wasn’t for that mistake, I wouldn’t have fully understood the value of being forward and communicative. Since then, I’ve dealt with ending unhealthy friendships, difficult coworkers, and even conflicts with my parents so much better by standing up for myself while still respecting the other person. It saves both parties so much trouble when at least one side knows what they want and how to communicate that want
everytime i watch you and you bravely share a new detail of your history i find out more about how youve lived through the same themes i have and it builds me up, that someone who lives with similar outcomes to me lives with purpose and strength. thank you again for the billionth time.
Definitely have a lot of journalling ahead on these questions!
I think my failure to lose weight over the years has caused me to love my body. It became a sort of "you may never be able to do this...what then?" - the idea that if you don't love yourself now, then you won't love yourself at the success point felt right to me. I am still trying to make healthier choices but I am trying to focus less on the appearance of my body and more on self-love motives, like feeling better.
I’m 30 and my life has been nothing but failure but years of frustration and depression eventually led to me finally realizing my dream of writing great songs. I put all that emotion and pain into my music and have been writing what I believe are some of the best songs ever written for the last 3 years. This music is very ambitious and different and so far the recording process has been one problem after another so my latest frustration is having all these amazing songs but I can’t record them well enough by myself to be satisfied. I need some help from the right people to bring this to life but I haven’t found them yet. Anyway I’ve been wanting to make music my whole life and nearly gave up from around 22-27 but those wasted years are eventually what allowed me to finally achieve my goal of writing truly great songs. Now I know without a shadow of a doubt that my purpose in life is to put these songs out into the world and I will be successful, whatever it takes.
My favourite failure: being afraid to pursue my dream career. I always wanted to become a musician but after high school I decided it was "more sensible" to study something else. I dropped out in less than a year and didn't really know what to do with myself. It took antidepressants, years of therapy and the worst depressive episode of my life for me to finally apply for music school. I got accepted and am now studying at my dream university.
Plus, I met my current girlfriend at my old university so it was worth it for that alone :D
My biggest failure is not making it in art school and going to a regular university with an art program. I had so many thoughts of who i was and that year shattered all of it. However, not only did it make me think who I wanted to be, it also increased my empathy for people who are at a point that they don’t know where to start. It also helped me fight for what I wanted, it increased my desire to pursue my dreams!
i loved this video!! that silence at 10:16 was a wonderful addition
HE RETURNS!!!!!
Struthless, you've constantly read my mind with your uploads since I began watching your channel in 2021. I was struggling academically in engineering and lost in life. Your videos at the time helped me confront my hardest battles with anxiety and helped uplift my mood, my condition in life, and my attitude. It's now 2024 and I'm very close to graduating completely, and returning to my first ever engineering job this June. I've even recommended your channel to friends of mine going through a similar battle. Thank YOU for your grounded, artistic, and honest approach to conquering life's complex challenges.
Thank you for making this video ! 😊
You breing me so much joy! Thank you for that.
Great video, thank you I needed this today!
My favorite failure is that I ended one of the friendships that meant the most to me in my life because I wasn't honest to her about things that hurt me and stopped investing in our friendship, basically didn't talk to her anymore. Now I try to a) check myself for overly dramatic interpretations of other people's behaviors towards me and b) have an honest conversation about things that didn't go well. Makes me proud to do so :) now I have to apply that even more to my romantic relationsships.. I realise this as I am writing this comment.. Well :)
Thank you for this beautifully articulated video!👏🏽 it came at the perfect time in my life, I appreciate everything you do on this channel!💚
Aye mate glad to be so early, love your videos!
My favorite failure is getting fired from one of my first jobs in New York. I had just broken into my industry in a role that I wanted to pursue, but I felt that the work environment was too much for me. I kept making mistakes over and over again, and kept getting reprimanded, and I constantly feared getting fired. Finally, the day came and the two managers brought me into the office and let me go... I had been having so much anxiety and worry leading up to this, that once it happened, I actually felt a wave of relief. I was free of the fear of being fired. I could move onto something better for me. I applied to new jobs on the train home, and eventually found a job much better than the one I had, which I probably wouldn't've left willingly, and remained miserable indefinitely. I'm happier now, because the job that was stressing me out so much just wasn't right for me.
Great timing for this message. Much needed. Thank you!
i really needed to hear this man thank you
once again, world class video Cam!!
your back baby!!!
Glad to see you are still creating, missed your thoughts while you were away... Grateful for whatever you have time for!
Been watching your channel for years now, thanks for always being a ball of sunshine and inspiration in my life Campbell!
This video came out at the perfect time, thank you.
my favorite failure is getting fired from my absolute favorite job 9 months ago, I was doing what I love (an on track with my degree I'm finishing) and had the highest salary of my life. I remember going home right after arriving at work getting the news and just laughing and crying hysterically because I knew my life was about to shatter completely. At that point, I figured I was SOL. Two weeks following that I ended up getting a job offer in Chicago, and then moving in a span of 2 weeks after that. Ever since then, I finally understand my true worth as a human and how much potential I have to share with the world. Not just in a corporate setting, but myself as a whole. In short, the world is my oyster. 💫