"confusing what I'm attracted to with what I want to look like"... think that's happening to me too. that's illuminating, thank you!! I have a lot of the same fears you had (also about nipples).
I didn't realize my "attraction" to women was actually just jealousy and wishing to be them until after I started my transition and bam! attracted to only men...
I love your videos because they're so thoughtful and introspective. I'm 36 and have just started to unpack the gender box. I have so many fears and it was helpful to see them expressed and explored here. Like you, I remember seeing my first trans men a long time ago (for me it was around 2003 in Vancouver) and having a lot of complicated feelings. They didn't "pass" (ugh, I don't like that word), at least to me. Perhaps they hadn't been on hormones long...I don't know because I didn't ask. I remember feeling ashamed. Ashamed for myself? Ashamed for them? I don't know. I never thought I'd be here, and I'm sad I didn't explore things sooner. In any case, thanks for your videos!
You have been immensely helpful to me. Your videos from ~2010 are about where I'm at right now. It's inspiring beyond words to witness your successful transition. You're a very introspective guy and I can relate to almost everything you're talking about. Thanks for documenting your journey.
It's so funny because this is almost exactly what I've been experiencing for the last few years and I'm about to see an endocrinologist for the first time soon .
I always enjoy your videos Allan, you always come across so calm and confident. I am hoping to start T later this year and I have a lot of the same fears, so this video helped set my mind at ease a bit, thanks :)
I'm not going through a journey similar to yours personally--my best friend is. I have come to your channel to further my education on the topic. Watching this video gives me insight to the concerns and questions my friend must be going through--thank you for sharing. I just want you to know you are a thoughtful and handsome man and I wish you the best on your path of discovery on this phase of your life.
I started balding in highschool senior year... now I’m 23 and finally coming to the realization that I’m trans... my hair is quite thin and receded a lot. Probably Norwood 4 or 5... why couldn’t I just have my hair, it used to be so long and beautiful.
oh WOW, im exactly in the stages you're describing! Whenever I see pictures of pre-t vs 1 year on t comparisations i often have to admit that i think the "girl" photos were prettier because im just attracted to girls, but then go and beat myself up because "That means you're faking being trans!!!". Im also very scared to never pass as cis. Right now, when presenting as a cis girl, my appearance is super social acceptable. Im afraid to chuck that all away when presenting as a trans boy.
My second time watching this video. I'm going in soon-ish for a T consultation, and I have some fears about about the effects of the hormone. But I realized most of them are due to what others might think of me. I cannot change how others choose to perceive me, though. So.. after some thought, realized I really want to do it for me and my own comfort. Even if I wind up with hair under my moobs or my voice cracks at a holiday gathering. Even though it means the person I love won't be romantically interested anymore. Also, I wish I'd chosen Bryce Canyon as my name. xD
haha, Bryce Canyon would be an awesome and very rugged name. LOL. Good for you for following through with what feels right for you! I am confident that you won't regret it. By the way, sorry it took me so incredibly long to reply!
mfw these are exactly the fears ive been facing lately. im not sure if i will ever get to go on hrt (although i def want top surgery, nipples removed), but i still appreciate videos like these so much. thank you!
i'd love to see the psychological one, it fascinates me, especially how i've changed. i started t as i was going into uni and before that a lot of the things i thought i was interested in were related to my strong empathetic nature and being creative in different ways. as i went along with hormones, my empathetic nature shifted, and the way i think about things and my emotions, reactions, strengths, especially my mental processing has changed. of course not this is also due to just my mental state and feeling more confident and at peace with myself on hormones but also the hormones i believe have changed me. i feel happier now 100% but i have changed uni courses 2 now and next semester im taking off bc i am still figuring out where my new interests are and where my strengths are. i now feel like i want to do things that i want to do, and i never have seriously explored myself in that way prior bc i just didn't see myself as something I or anyone should take seriously and i don't want to just float around doing whatever anymore. i'd love to hear your experiences!
Im 24, pre everything and this is really helpfull. Also I never got why people are so stressed over losing sensitivity in niples because they never been sensitive for me anyway XD so I don't care really. You're awesome btw! I came here from an earier video and you've come a long way Im really proud!
Thanks so much for these videos. I've only just started exploring gender identity, I grew up and lived most of my life in a rural town so there wasn't much information or groups or anything to do with topics like transgender. It was until the past year of so that I would see it a lot in the news or Tv shows, etc. So I started doing my own research about what different words meant and started watching youtube videos on the topic and yours were the first ones I watched. So many of the trans videos I would watch are made by teenagers who've already transitioned or in the process of, and here I'm in my early 30's and only just discovering what everything means, that there are people in the world who feel the same way about things that I have always just written off, and always thought that even if I had these thoughts and feelings that there was definitely nothing I could do about it, and that I would just have to live my whole life feeling like shit, and maybe when I die I could be reincarnated as a man in a another life. Long-winded way of saying THANK YOU for taking the time to make these very personal, important videos, they've made a huge difference in my life. I can't wait to see the next video about psychological, and maybe you could talk about social stuff/family stuff (not sure if you touched on that in previous videos). I have lots of concerns about family issues, like some people in my family have issues with just the topic of homosexuality, I fear that they would never accept, especially the siblings with children, that I might be considered a pariah and forbidden to see them. Anyways I can't thank you enough for being so brave and honest and open about intensely personal topics.
Thank you! I'm really glad and flattered that my videos have been helpful for you. Yes, coming out can be really scary. I am lucky to have not had negative experiences with coming out to people, but I can at least say that being able to live as my true self is totally worth it. Best wishes!
I had a huge fear of loosing my hair, it runs in my Moms side big time! i still worry about it now! lol I was abit worried that I would get too much hair because i was already hairy and my Dad had hair all over him. I have more hair since I started but it looks fine and if i get too much i will shave it and trim it. I have a electric body razor that has an extension to reach my back. I never worried about i would look like a woman with a beard because i passed pretty well before. This icon picture is of me pre-T.
Thank you for posting on this topic. Perfect. I feel that younger men are guaranteed better results and I'm afraid that I won't be handsome damn it. JK. Kind of. All joking aside, I really worry that I won't present as male after a year or so. So watching your videos is helping a lot. Thanks again.
This is very helpful! Thank you for posting this video. I'm 45 years old and I'm starting to transition now. I think older people have more fears and have a harder time to transition because they have been living in the wrong body for so long that they try to convince themselves its for the best. I'm getting my top surgery in July 2018 and not sure if I want to get bottom surgery. It takes long time recover and not sure if I want to go thorough all the pain and complications. Have you had bottom or planning to get bottom surgery?
Yeah, seriously. I actually have considered getting a small cup, like a little boy's protective sports cup, so that it wouldn't be gigantic and obvious but would provide some shelter, but I never actually did that, partly because I prefer to just wear loose underwear/clothes rather than a jock strap or boxer briefs and partly because I think it'd still be visible to others, even if it were small! haha
I think that they probably would. This did cross my mind before, but there is really no way that I could psychologically deal with wearing them! Plus, I also get chafed by the elastic around the legs in any kind of briefs. :(
You should get some nipples tattooed on. Also for me with the growth thing it was only sore for the first 2 months. I will say pant seams are kind of a bitch. I'm hoping after lower surgery it will be better.
If you are interested I know of a person who does 3-D medical-type tattooing of nipples/areola. She mostly tattoos breast cancer survivors who have had a mastectomy but she is trans-knowledgeable/trans-friendly and very skilled at what she does. Send me a message if you are interested and I can let you know more about it.
"confusing what I'm attracted to with what I want to look like"... think that's happening to me too. that's illuminating, thank you!! I have a lot of the same fears you had (also about nipples).
I didn't realize my "attraction" to women was actually just jealousy and wishing to be them until after I started my transition and bam! attracted to only men...
i completely relate to mixing up what i’m attracted to with what i want to look like!
I love your videos because they're so thoughtful and introspective. I'm 36 and have just started to unpack the gender box. I have so many fears and it was helpful to see them expressed and explored here. Like you, I remember seeing my first trans men a long time ago (for me it was around 2003 in Vancouver) and having a lot of complicated feelings. They didn't "pass" (ugh, I don't like that word), at least to me. Perhaps they hadn't been on hormones long...I don't know because I didn't ask. I remember feeling ashamed. Ashamed for myself? Ashamed for them? I don't know. I never thought I'd be here, and I'm sad I didn't explore things sooner. In any case, thanks for your videos!
Thank you! Sounds like we had similar experiences with seeing trans men and having mixed feelings. I'm glad you're exploring things now!
You have been immensely helpful to me. Your videos from ~2010 are about where I'm at right now. It's inspiring beyond words to witness your successful transition. You're a very introspective guy and I can relate to almost everything you're talking about. Thanks for documenting your journey.
Wow! Thanks, I appreciate that. That's my purpose in making videos, so I'm glad they help others. Best wishes to you!
It's so funny because this is almost exactly what I've been experiencing for the last few years and I'm about to see an endocrinologist for the first time soon .
I always enjoy your videos Allan, you always come across so calm and confident. I am hoping to start T later this year and I have a lot of the same fears, so this video helped set my mind at ease a bit, thanks :)
Great! Thank you.
Your fears are what I am/was afraid of happening if I went on T. Glad that I'm not alone with these fears.
Thanks for your honesty man!! Looking great 💪🏻
I'm not going through a journey similar to yours personally--my best friend is. I have come to your channel to further my education on the topic. Watching this video gives me insight to the concerns and questions my friend must be going through--thank you for sharing. I just want you to know you are a thoughtful and handsome man and I wish you the best on your path of discovery on this phase of your life.
Thanks! I appreciate that.
I started balding in highschool senior year... now I’m 23 and finally coming to the realization that I’m trans... my hair is quite thin and receded a lot. Probably Norwood 4 or 5... why couldn’t I just have my hair, it used to be so long and beautiful.
FYI, per medical providers at WPATH, the liver is negligibly impacted by injectible testosterone.
oh WOW, im exactly in the stages you're describing!
Whenever I see pictures of pre-t vs 1 year on t comparisations i often have to admit that i think the "girl" photos were prettier because im just attracted to girls, but then go and beat myself up because "That means you're faking being trans!!!". Im also very scared to never pass as cis. Right now, when presenting as a cis girl, my appearance is super social acceptable. Im afraid to chuck that all away when presenting as a trans boy.
looking like a girl with a beard too freaks me out too x.x I've only been on T 2 months and facial hair is already starting
Goretician how you doing these days
did everything turn out good?
My second time watching this video. I'm going in soon-ish for a T consultation, and I have some fears about about the effects of the hormone. But I realized most of them are due to what others might think of me. I cannot change how others choose to perceive me, though. So.. after some thought, realized I really want to do it for me and my own comfort. Even if I wind up with hair under my moobs or my voice cracks at a holiday gathering. Even though it means the person I love won't be romantically interested anymore.
Also, I wish I'd chosen Bryce Canyon as my name. xD
haha, Bryce Canyon would be an awesome and very rugged name. LOL. Good for you for following through with what feels right for you! I am confident that you won't regret it. By the way, sorry it took me so incredibly long to reply!
mfw these are exactly the fears ive been facing lately. im not sure if i will ever get to go on hrt (although i def want top surgery, nipples removed), but i still appreciate videos like these so much. thank you!
This is so helpful! thanks dude! i am only 2 months in and always wonder about what is going to happen (like all of us do.) thanks for making these!
You're welcome! I'm glad it was helpful.
i'd love to see the psychological one, it fascinates me, especially how i've changed. i started t as i was going into uni and before that a lot of the things i thought i was interested in were related to my strong empathetic nature and being creative in different ways. as i went along with hormones, my empathetic nature shifted, and the way i think about things and my emotions, reactions, strengths, especially my mental processing has changed. of course not this is also due to just my mental state and feeling more confident and at peace with myself on hormones but also the hormones i believe have changed me. i feel happier now 100% but i have changed uni courses 2 now and next semester im taking off bc i am still figuring out where my new interests are and where my strengths are. i now feel like i want to do things that i want to do, and i never have seriously explored myself in that way prior bc i just didn't see myself as something I or anyone should take seriously and i don't want to just float around doing whatever anymore. i'd love to hear your experiences!
Interesting! Sounds like you've come a long way and are on a great path in terms of your self-discovery. That's awesome.
Im 24, pre everything and this is really helpfull.
Also I never got why people are so stressed over losing sensitivity in niples because they never been sensitive for me anyway XD so I don't care really.
You're awesome btw! I came here from an earier video and you've come a long way Im really proud!
Thanks for your kind comment! I'm glad you found the video helpful.
Thanks so much for these videos. I've only just started exploring gender identity, I grew up and lived most of my life in a rural town so there wasn't much information or groups or anything to do with topics like transgender. It was until the past year of so that I would see it a lot in the news or Tv shows, etc. So I started doing my own research about what different words meant and started watching youtube videos on the topic and yours were the first ones I watched. So many of the trans videos I would watch are made by teenagers who've already transitioned or in the process of, and here I'm in my early 30's and only just discovering what everything means, that there are people in the world who feel the same way about things that I have always just written off, and always thought that even if I had these thoughts and feelings that there was definitely nothing I could do about it, and that I would just have to live my whole life feeling like shit, and maybe when I die I could be reincarnated as a man in a another life. Long-winded way of saying THANK YOU for taking the time to make these very personal, important videos, they've made a huge difference in my life. I can't wait to see the next video about psychological, and maybe you could talk about social stuff/family stuff (not sure if you touched on that in previous videos). I have lots of concerns about family issues, like some people in my family have issues with just the topic of homosexuality, I fear that they would never accept, especially the siblings with children, that I might be considered a pariah and forbidden to see them. Anyways I can't thank you enough for being so brave and honest and open about intensely personal topics.
Thank you! I'm really glad and flattered that my videos have been helpful for you. Yes, coming out can be really scary. I am lucky to have not had negative experiences with coming out to people, but I can at least say that being able to live as my true self is totally worth it. Best wishes!
Thank you for making this video! Your transition is awesome !!
Thanks! :)
I had a huge fear of loosing my hair, it runs in my Moms side big time! i still worry about it now! lol I was abit worried that I would get too much hair because i was already hairy and my Dad had hair all over him. I have more hair since I started but it looks fine and if i get too much i will shave it and trim it. I have a electric body razor that has an extension to reach my back. I never worried about i would look like a woman with a beard because i passed pretty well before. This icon picture is of me pre-T.
Wow, yeah, you must pass pretty well! :) I've never heard of an extension to let you shave your back--sounds like a good idea!
Thank you for posting on this topic. Perfect. I feel that younger men are guaranteed better results and I'm afraid that I won't be handsome damn it. JK. Kind of. All joking aside, I really worry that I won't present as male after a year or so. So watching your videos is helping a lot. Thanks again.
This is very helpful! Thank you for posting this video. I'm 45 years old and I'm starting to transition now. I think older people have more fears and have a harder time to transition because they have been living in the wrong body for so long that they try to convince themselves its for the best. I'm getting my top surgery in July 2018 and not sure if I want to get bottom surgery. It takes long time recover and not sure if I want to go thorough all the pain and complications. Have you had bottom or planning to get bottom surgery?
They should make some sort of protective cup for down there to prevent the rub! Interesting video!
Yeah, seriously. I actually have considered getting a small cup, like a little boy's protective sports cup, so that it wouldn't be gigantic and obvious but would provide some shelter, but I never actually did that, partly because I prefer to just wear loose underwear/clothes rather than a jock strap or boxer briefs and partly because I think it'd still be visible to others, even if it were small! haha
Do you mind sharing what brand(s) of boxers you've found don't have an awkward seam down the middle? Great video, by the way :)
Sure. Calvin Klein knit cotton boxers (the loose kind). www1.macys.com/shop/product/calvin-klein-mens-classic-knit-boxers-3-pack-nu3040?ID=1627956
+TheSLOfox Thanks! I'll check 'em out :)
Thanks so much, it does help! :)
Do you think panties (like traditional girls panties) would be comfortable with the sensitivity?
I think that they probably would. This did cross my mind before, but there is really no way that I could psychologically deal with wearing them! Plus, I also get chafed by the elastic around the legs in any kind of briefs. :(
but for other people, that could be a good solution, probably.
Cis Guy's who are Cut,often have that Sensitivity ! It just goes with being a Guy!
👍
You should get some nipples tattooed on. Also for me with the growth thing it was only sore for the first 2 months. I will say pant seams are kind of a bitch. I'm hoping after lower surgery it will be better.
Yeah, I might consider nipple tattoos in the future; I'm gonna wait for a while in case the pigmentation of the nipples (like, the spots) changes.
If you are interested I know of a person who does 3-D medical-type
tattooing of nipples/areola. She mostly tattoos breast cancer survivors who have had a mastectomy but she is trans-knowledgeable/trans-friendly and very skilled at what she does. Send me a message if you are interested and I can let you know more about it.
Who cares what people think lovely noone has right validate u as person!!!!♡♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
your very cute ok you look really great you really do i understand what you mean ok you look good ok