Trans? Butch? So much back and forth!

Talking about how I feel differently, in terms of gender, in different situations or times of my life.
Sometimes I want to be exactly like the buff dudes I see at the rock climbing gym, but then at other times I am proud to be like other butch women whom I see! Crazy.
Perhaps there isn't just one answer - that's what I suspect it will always be like for me, for better or worse...

[@julesvrinten2426]

I know this is an oldie, but I can reaaaaaally relate to this video at this point in my life! I really want to thank you for posting these video's because it's very hard to find video's about the psychological transition and all the doubts and analysis and thinking that proceeds any type of medical transition. Also, I relate to how you analyze everything. And also, it takes courage to openly have doubts so also thanks for that!!!

[@Elleebeee]

Thank you for posting this 10 fucking years ago. This is my damn brain. All the time. Sending you all the love and thanks!

[@casperthefriendlyghost4180]

We know so little about our brains. There is no overlooking it or downplaying it. The fact of the matter is that without having the “instruction” manual (yet) (because we are young as a species, without regurgitating information... (and we don’t do that so well yet as history shows)... and the impact that society has to an unknowing mind... because let’s face it... we are sponges to interpretation... we “live” by “example”. Like any organic without the knowledge we can only interpret through example. So what I’d like to say to you is this. Fly free with your wings of confusion because growing is what develops in life. Regardless of your interpretation making a choice is what gives us power... so embrace choice and empower yourself however you see fit. Only know this... it’s ok. You are ok. Life will be ok. Smile often and be free.

[@lestihuff2091]

I needed that. Thanks

[@ourania6031]

Thank you so much for posting this video ❤ this is exactly how I feel

[@datlemongrabaxb3231]

Hey just wanted to say how helpful i find your videos especially this one. I am in a place rn where im questioning my identity a lot and have very similar thoughts to yours so finding something i can actually really relate to is awesome. Cheers, dude

[@imaginareality]

I am so grateful for your videos. I find them extremely helpful because they show how long it took you to find your identity and how many doubts and questions and insecurities you had. A lot of the things you mention in these earlier videos ring true to me. I always see these things as "proof" that I am not actually trans and it is very encouraging to watch how you overcame a lot o that and have now transitioned.
Also, I really, really want to shave my face now :)

[@TheSLOfox]

Thanks for that! I'm glad you find my videos helpful. Best wishes to you.

[@didoublelohen2108]

Ahhhhhh.... This is like, exactly me right now. Like, I feel like I don't even need to make a video about this because you've said everything I'm thinking 4 years ago lol...

[@queerasdae]

I saw one of your posts and i can relate so much to it! I know this is an old video but it really is helpful to me understanding my gender. thank you so much for posting your thoughts!

[@natachaedsell]

Thank you so much for this video. Honestly, I'm struggling really hard about these same questions. I just put on a binder for the first time yesterday and was shocked by my reaction. Not exactly turned on lol, but relief and excitement for the possibility but then fear that I might actually be trans... Anyhow, looking forward to watching your journey!!

[@nicolesi2201]

Wow- I used to feel exactly this way about photos of women in magazines like Marie Claire, etc. Wished I could be curvy and soft and beautiful like them. Cool to hear a trans guy say this. It has been amazing to see your progress. ❤

[@spacekidfamily]

Thank you for sharing this long time ago. I stumbled upon your channel and I identified with a lot of what you said. I've also been watching ftm videos for a long long time and I know that I don't need to find myself in other trans guys but I think I watch a lot to find someone like me in some ways. I also very much pass all the time with my looks but people always ask me or get confused when they hear my voice. It is really hard to find comfort in masculinity where I live but slowly I am trying to be a little more brave, being okay with being myself. I recently got a shorter, side part haircut and I love it so so much. Anyways! You look great now and hope to keep seeing your journey!

[@TheSLOfox]

Thanks for sharing that! That's awesome that you're able to be brave and go on this important journey for yourself!