What I love about these shows Matt, is that they're real. No sanitized speech, no pretense, laying out our brokenness as it is. That's what speaks to me, that's what helps. That's what we can all relate to. I cannot relate to holiness, but I can relate to our brokenness. Thank you.
As a married man, I can say that this is just so honest and so relatable. Marriage is not easy at all, you literally have to fight yourself in order to make it fruitful
A man must be a man to make his husband role works. Love respect caring matured mind heart spirit. But don't lose that childlike spirited heart. Don't abuse your wife physically mentally emotionally. Been there done that for two decades. A quite hellish tormenting marriage is no joke. Thank God I'm sanely alive peacefully freed from it 😁🙏🕊🙌
I appreciate it this talk. I think there needs to be one for women. We can be jerks too. Just about everything they are talking about I’ve seen some women do as well.
You talk about the hardships of marriage, and obviously it's not all honeymoons and sunshine and rainbows (I see enough of my friends' and family's struggles with marriage and children to know this), but at least it seems to grant some fulfillment in living for another. So what do men who never meet someone in this life have to look forward to? I feel like you're complaining about something you're ultimately lucky to have, which some people will never experience for all eternity
I don't they were complaining necessarily, it's clear that both of these men would rather be where they are than be single again. But I totally relate, it seems hard to find fulfilment without living out a vocation, and sometimes it feels like married people talk about the struggles of marriage as a way to make us feel better, but it honestly doesn't.
@@Seethi_C yeah, I guess it would be helpful if Matt could have a single guy on every once in a while to talk about how they deal with loneliness and living a fulfilling life without a spouse or religious vocation. Or even a man who DOES have a religious vocation, and how they deal with the thought of not having a wife or family of their own. Because I only really hear women talk about it
I guess the other thing I'd add is that there was a Pew poll that came out recently which stated 51 per cent of men between the ages of 18-29 are single, while there is still over a quarter who are single between the ages of 30-49. Telling us about marriage is all well and good, but talking about singleness is extremely relevant to a large chunk of us
@@sebalonius Yeah, that would be a cool interview to listen to. I also recently read Matt's book on Aquinas and happiness. However, the book doesn't mention marriage or vocation at all! I really would have loved to hear if Aquinas would say relationships can/should make us happy and fulfilled. Regarding those statistics, another pet peeve of mine is when Catholic speakers bring up the fact that people aren't getting married but they blame it on society's lack of commitment and/or rejection of the idea of marriage entirely. While this is definitely true, there are so many Catholic millennials out there who desire marriage, but just haven't had luck finding a compatible spouse.
I totally agree with the part of the vocation. I do think they are talking about the struggles that come with the lack of preparation must of us had since we are mostly raised in families that didn’t live the Cristhian ideal of how God intended love between a husband and wife to be. My heart pours out every time I listen to married people because even when listening to this hardships I wish I could endure that for the sake of that one person. Being single only makes sense when I do small things that I feel have an impact in that who I expect to be my future husband but have not met yet. For example, the idea of learning to love, honor, respect, care and have a tender heart towards someone’s own imperfections. Praying for his soul since today, for his salvation and me being a means to it, me being the one who won’t stop believing in him. It helps me have a steady conviction, try to be hopeful and brings me to tears just to think that I could be by the side of that person. I don’t idealize the person, I just pray that the sanctity that God desires for that marriage, that communion, that unique soul to be easier thanks to my help. And hopefully him to the desire this for me too. I pray that I might find him soon. And will keep you intentions for a spouse or husband in my heart and prayers too!
Every act of sacrifice against one's own self-interest is a type of death -- a death of one's selfishness and self-preoccupation. This is just one practical application of Jesus's admonition: "...he who would lose his life for my sake..."
A little besides the clip (but not much): the practical problem with all these catholic preaching and teaching about the relationship between the sexes is the fact that it's too "abstract". Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favour of following the Church, but when it comes to handle the complexities of the female world, besides the "don't fornicate, don't masturbate, don't watch porn, don't objectify, love her", street pagans teach more than any catholic apologist, preacher, etc. Pimps teach more about our fallen nature - and how to navigate this sad state - *and* establish some authority over women than the representatives of the religion that claims to defend the male authority (and I'm talking about practical psychology, not mere manipulation for sex). That's why former fornicators (despite all the talk about how wrong they were, etc) can marry much easily than "the virgin" guy. Experienced guys have game, the convertion doesn't erase the practical knowledge about female nature. Then, they became catholic apologists and act like these "sinful experiences" were completely useless and evil, when it's not the case at all. I guess the problem is an underplay of the sinful and corrupted nature of humans. "Just love your sister in Christ" is not specific enough. The "simp epidemic" is real in a society where the only alternatives to feminism is "pimp game" (that the many married catholic lads learn in their "sinful times"...) or some type of traditionalism (still in the fringes, btw). I have some simpathy towards the trads, but many times they are overly legalistic in matters that could (and frequently should) be more flexible. Besides, the trad option is enough only sofar the man is agressive and cold and the woman passive and submissive *by nature* , all the other cases doesn't help much. The "marriage from friendship" today is an utopia that very few lucky are blessed with (I know some cases the couple started during high school, after college, not a single one that I know "grew from friendship"...). Men must know some pimp game to know how to handle women, *catholic* or not. The game starts before marriage and continues until the end of relationship (hopefully not with a divorce). Without adress the powerplay between the sexes and the causes (the legitimate ones) of the growth of MGTOW, redpill, etc, all this talk will achieve less than it should (just calling all these people "weak useless pieces of $h!t" or blame all on porn, will still miss the big picture). Jordan Peterson adressed part of the problem, but his framework is incomplete from a Catholic point of view. Even baptist preachers gave more practical knowledge on this subject than the catholics... When we all became saints Theology of Body is enough, until there, something else is necessary...
You raise some very good points. A lot of Catholic advice on the subject is worse than useless. Advice to young men basically amounts to "just get married" and calling them man-babies, which is insulting to the men who are struggling to find a woman. Men who play the field and then 'convert' are much better placed to find a wife than a faithful guy who saves himself for marriage. The male virgin is more likely to ultimately end up alone.
@S ess it's necessarily a problem of both sexes (we're still monogamous after all). Off course some kind of "catholic shire" could be a way, however many catholics live in a big, secular, city, disconected from any healthy enviroment (parish life most of times reproduce what's outside...). Traditionalism helps with some struture, but arranged marriage (or something that feels like It) would be another kind of disaster for many. I see many people neurotic over that, and very frustraded as a result. It seems that the natural "dance of the sexes" is completely under control of pimp mentality (a recent Interview between Jordan Peterson and a research in that area show how deep the problem goes...). Those who found love before internet age doesn't get how much worse the things are now, beyond the porn problem.
Basically you are implying that must sin to know how to have good marriage? As former very corrupted person in those regards I can tell you. You lost the point. Ask God for discerning and use your intelligence. The only pagans and pimps that gave "good advice" are corrupted people tired of their ways of life in many cases but that rejected the idea of coming back to faith. Not even secular opinions like from JBP are good for you. In that case go and feast on prostitution for years and maybe them you will understand why the ex fornicators don't want that life to anyone. We are more than our human desires.
@PixelPixeliado P.P No. Of course sin is bad and should be avoided. I'm pointing out that many young catholics have no idea how to handle women and are socially awkward. Not "a little bit awkward" but "a lot". And the guys with experience that converted have advantage in this regard. I'm just describing what I see, not saying that's good - very far from It. "Grace presupposes nature". Prayer should be part of everybody's life, but this is a problem (like many others) that should be adressed by natural ways as well. We, as Church, should give an alternative to this sick pimp culture to people work on their "social muscle" without be in sin. Marriage is a choice and many women will die single before give a chance to any of these awkward types - that wouldn't be so socially inept in the first place If they were better trained in this area. This (lack of) training part seems to be a blind spot. We think one should study for a test, work hard to make money but just pray to not be awkward and marry. That's not how It works.
"There's no virtue without temptation."
I think it's called, empathy..
When you have children there are new loves to prioritise..
What I love about these shows Matt, is that they're real. No sanitized speech, no pretense, laying out our brokenness as it is. That's what speaks to me, that's what helps. That's what we can all relate to. I cannot relate to holiness, but I can relate to our brokenness. Thank you.
As a married man, I can say that this is just so honest and so relatable. Marriage is not easy at all, you literally have to fight yourself in order to make it fruitful
A man must be a man to make his husband role works. Love respect caring matured mind heart spirit. But don't lose that childlike spirited heart. Don't abuse your wife physically mentally emotionally. Been there done that for two decades. A quite hellish tormenting marriage is no joke. Thank God I'm sanely alive peacefully freed from it 😁🙏🕊🙌
I appreciate it this talk. I think there needs to be one for women. We can be jerks too. Just about everything they are talking about I’ve seen some women do as well.
This was deep...I'm so glad I watched this today...
Matt whatever happened to sips with Aquinas?
Loved the bare honesty shared.
I have been married for a hundred and a forty years.... I get it!!!!!
Do these sips with Aquinas require you to show proof of ID? We drink deep wisdom here.
"I understand why men go out for cigarettes and never come back." Wow, that breaks my heart.
That was some straight talk.
You talk about the hardships of marriage, and obviously it's not all honeymoons and sunshine and rainbows (I see enough of my friends' and family's struggles with marriage and children to know this), but at least it seems to grant some fulfillment in living for another. So what do men who never meet someone in this life have to look forward to? I feel like you're complaining about something you're ultimately lucky to have, which some people will never experience for all eternity
I don't they were complaining necessarily, it's clear that both of these men would rather be where they are than be single again.
But I totally relate, it seems hard to find fulfilment without living out a vocation, and sometimes it feels like married people talk about the struggles of marriage as a way to make us feel better, but it honestly doesn't.
@@Seethi_C yeah, I guess it would be helpful if Matt could have a single guy on every once in a while to talk about how they deal with loneliness and living a fulfilling life without a spouse or religious vocation. Or even a man who DOES have a religious vocation, and how they deal with the thought of not having a wife or family of their own. Because I only really hear women talk about it
I guess the other thing I'd add is that there was a Pew poll that came out recently which stated 51 per cent of men between the ages of 18-29 are single, while there is still over a quarter who are single between the ages of 30-49. Telling us about marriage is all well and good, but talking about singleness is extremely relevant to a large chunk of us
@@sebalonius Yeah, that would be a cool interview to listen to. I also recently read Matt's book on Aquinas and happiness. However, the book doesn't mention marriage or vocation at all! I really would have loved to hear if Aquinas would say relationships can/should make us happy and fulfilled.
Regarding those statistics, another pet peeve of mine is when Catholic speakers bring up the fact that people aren't getting married but they blame it on society's lack of commitment and/or rejection of the idea of marriage entirely. While this is definitely true, there are so many Catholic millennials out there who desire marriage, but just haven't had luck finding a compatible spouse.
I totally agree with the part of the vocation. I do think they are talking about the struggles that come with the lack of preparation must of us had since we are mostly raised in families that didn’t live the Cristhian ideal of how God intended love between a husband and wife to be. My heart pours out every time I listen to married people because even when listening to this hardships I wish I could endure that for the sake of that one person. Being single only makes sense when I do small things that I feel have an impact in that who I expect to be my future husband but have not met yet. For example, the idea of learning to love, honor, respect, care and have a tender heart towards someone’s own imperfections. Praying for his soul since today, for his salvation and me being a means to it, me being the one who won’t stop believing in him. It helps me have a steady conviction, try to be hopeful and brings me to tears just to think that I could be by the side of that person. I don’t idealize the person, I just pray that the sanctity that God desires for that marriage, that communion, that unique soul to be easier thanks to my help. And hopefully him to the desire this for me too.
I pray that I might find him soon. And will keep you intentions for a spouse or husband in my heart and prayers too!
I love Sam's voice and his earnest communicative style. I feel like I would buy a used car from him without even driving it.
Men and women prioritize differently, so bringing us together is bound to bring friction.
True gold
Every act of sacrifice against one's own self-interest is a type of death -- a death of one's selfishness and self-preoccupation. This is just one practical application of Jesus's admonition: "...he who would lose his life for my sake..."
By definition it is not perpetual.
Until death.
A little besides the clip (but not much): the practical problem with all these catholic preaching and teaching about the relationship between the sexes is the fact that it's too "abstract". Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favour of following the Church, but when it comes to handle the complexities of the female world, besides the "don't fornicate, don't masturbate, don't watch porn, don't objectify, love her", street pagans teach more than any catholic apologist, preacher, etc. Pimps teach more about our fallen nature - and how to navigate this sad state - *and* establish some authority over women than the representatives of the religion that claims to defend the male authority (and I'm talking about practical psychology, not mere manipulation for sex). That's why former fornicators (despite all the talk about how wrong they were, etc) can marry much easily than "the virgin" guy. Experienced guys have game, the convertion doesn't erase the practical knowledge about female nature. Then, they became catholic apologists and act like these "sinful experiences" were completely useless and evil, when it's not the case at all. I guess the problem is an underplay of the sinful and corrupted nature of humans. "Just love your sister in Christ" is not specific enough. The "simp epidemic" is real in a society where the only alternatives to feminism is "pimp game" (that the many married catholic lads learn in their "sinful times"...) or some type of traditionalism (still in the fringes, btw). I have some simpathy towards the trads, but many times they are overly legalistic in matters that could (and frequently should) be more flexible. Besides, the trad option is enough only sofar the man is agressive and cold and the woman passive and submissive *by nature* , all the other cases doesn't help much. The "marriage from friendship" today is an utopia that very few lucky are blessed with (I know some cases the couple started during high school, after college, not a single one that I know "grew from friendship"...). Men must know some pimp game to know how to handle women, *catholic* or not. The game starts before marriage and continues until the end of relationship (hopefully not with a divorce). Without adress the powerplay between the sexes and the causes (the legitimate ones) of the growth of MGTOW, redpill, etc, all this talk will achieve less than it should (just calling all these people "weak useless pieces of $h!t" or blame all on porn, will still miss the big picture). Jordan Peterson adressed part of the problem, but his framework is incomplete from a Catholic point of view. Even baptist preachers gave more practical knowledge on this subject than the catholics... When we all became saints Theology of Body is enough, until there, something else is necessary...
You raise some very good points. A lot of Catholic advice on the subject is worse than useless. Advice to young men basically amounts to "just get married" and calling them man-babies, which is insulting to the men who are struggling to find a woman.
Men who play the field and then 'convert' are much better placed to find a wife than a faithful guy who saves himself for marriage. The male virgin is more likely to ultimately end up alone.
@S ess it's necessarily a problem of both sexes (we're still monogamous after all). Off course some kind of "catholic shire" could be a way, however many catholics live in a big, secular, city, disconected from any healthy enviroment (parish life most of times reproduce what's outside...). Traditionalism helps with some struture, but arranged marriage (or something that feels like It) would be another kind of disaster for many. I see many people neurotic over that, and very frustraded as a result. It seems that the natural "dance of the sexes" is completely under control of pimp mentality (a recent Interview between Jordan Peterson and a research in that area show how deep the problem goes...). Those who found love before internet age doesn't get how much worse the things are now, beyond the porn problem.
Basically you are implying that must sin to know how to have good marriage?
As former very corrupted person in those regards I can tell you.
You lost the point. Ask God for discerning and use your intelligence.
The only pagans and pimps that gave "good advice" are corrupted people tired of their ways of life in many cases but that rejected the idea of coming back to faith.
Not even secular opinions like from JBP are good for you.
In that case go and feast on prostitution for years and maybe them you will understand why the ex fornicators don't want that life to anyone. We are more than our human desires.
@PixelPixeliado P.P No. Of course sin is bad and should be avoided. I'm pointing out that many young catholics have no idea how to handle women and are socially awkward. Not "a little bit awkward" but "a lot". And the guys with experience that converted have advantage in this regard. I'm just describing what I see, not saying that's good - very far from It.
"Grace presupposes nature". Prayer should be part of everybody's life, but this is a problem (like many others) that should be adressed by natural ways as well. We, as Church, should give an alternative to this sick pimp culture to people work on their "social muscle" without be in sin. Marriage is a choice and many women will die single before give a chance to any of these awkward types - that wouldn't be so socially inept in the first place If they were better trained in this area. This (lack of) training part seems to be a blind spot. We think one should study for a test, work hard to make money but just pray to not be awkward and marry. That's not how It works.
First!