I used to relate all my problems to trauma as well. It was very disappointing to me when I worked through a lot of trauma that I still had so many problems. I have other mental health problems so I then attributed everything to them. But I worked a lot on mental health problems and I eventually reached a place where I was no longer making much progress. I was becoming hopeless. Then I had a case manager who pushed me to get an autism diagnosis. So I now am figuring things out from sn autism perspective. I was diagnosed a year and 4 months ago. I am 49.
I totally understand this situation. I have recently gone no contact with my grandmother because of the gaslighting she has done to me for a long time. I didn’t even realize it until my father passed (he was her son and he was narcissistic). My grandmother tries to gaslight my mom and plays the victim card all the damn time, but thankfully my mom doesn’t fall for this kind of bs and she shuts it all down. It took me a long time to be able to recognize my grandmother’s toxicity and i am so glad i blocked her from my life. I hope you are able to feel some peace after blocking your mother, toxic family members just make life more miserable and you so incredibly strong for making the decisions you have! ❤
Drunken harassment really doesn’t say, “I’m open and ready to talk” I’m sorry she did this, it sounds very distressing. Intentional or not, that was very manipulative behavior.
Patrick Teahan is a TH-camr that recently put out a video called something like “how parents react to no contact,” and it really helped me interpret and understand my partner’s mom’s behavior. I highly recommend watching it when you’re in a safe enough headspace. It explained a lot for me.
I have so much empathy for you and also proud despite not knowing you at all. It is so hard to extricate oneself from relationships like that, and I wasn’t able until my parents had been dead for 10 years. You are so clear and strong! Be proud ❤️
Imo, Autism and Narcissism extremely rarely show up in one person because they naturally oppose each other, so you might need to dig deeper, if you like to. I'm autistic and ADHD and m parents are two different types of Narcs. One of my worst partners has the same type with my mother, the "covert" form of NPD and he was misdiagnosed bx one of his long term acquaintances who's even a Psychologist, because Autism and this covert type look so much alike. I also have CPTSD, btw. Addictions can stem from trauma and/or from Narcissism. Listening to what your mother did to you, I can surely say she's not autistic, she's an abuser. Sorry for writing in bits. My mother hated me for liking her mother, she didn't tell me when she died, only put a card in my PO box though she lived only 2 mins away from my place amd she didn't even give me a single one of my Grandma's plastic chains I loved playing with, instead, she shared all the ring and stuff with my sisters. I'm 9/12 years older than them, btw. My mother has etranged my siblings from me and they have estranged my adult children from me, they went no contact with me, some years ago. The total destruction of the scapegoat child is such a mother's sole aim. I disappointed and abused her (so she says) and she wished the same for me.
I’m sorry to hear that, although I disagree that narcissism and autism oppose each other and that you can’t be an abusive autistic. I’ve seen and heard many examples of this, and I think it’s harmful to pretend they don’t exist, and perpetuates this idea of ‘autism is pure and innocent’. No, autistic people are people, and we’re capable of anything non-autistic people are capable of.
I used to relate all my problems to trauma as well. It was very disappointing to me when I worked through a lot of trauma that I still had so many problems. I have other mental health problems so I then attributed everything to them. But I worked a lot on mental health problems and I eventually reached a place where I was no longer making much progress. I was becoming hopeless. Then I had a case manager who pushed me to get an autism diagnosis. So I now am figuring things out from sn autism perspective. I was diagnosed a year and 4 months ago. I am 49.
I totally understand this situation. I have recently gone no contact with my grandmother because of the gaslighting she has done to me for a long time. I didn’t even realize it until my father passed (he was her son and he was narcissistic). My grandmother tries to gaslight my mom and plays the victim card all the damn time, but thankfully my mom doesn’t fall for this kind of bs and she shuts it all down. It took me a long time to be able to recognize my grandmother’s toxicity and i am so glad i blocked her from my life. I hope you are able to feel some peace after blocking your mother, toxic family members just make life more miserable and you so incredibly strong for making the decisions you have! ❤
Drunken harassment really doesn’t say, “I’m open and ready to talk”
I’m sorry she did this, it sounds very distressing. Intentional or not, that was very manipulative behavior.
Patrick Teahan is a TH-camr that recently put out a video called something like “how parents react to no contact,” and it really helped me interpret and understand my partner’s mom’s behavior. I highly recommend watching it when you’re in a safe enough headspace. It explained a lot for me.
Thank you for the recommendation, I’ll add it to my ‘watch later’ playlist 🙏
I have so much empathy for you and also proud despite not knowing you at all. It is so hard to extricate oneself from relationships like that, and I wasn’t able until my parents had been dead for 10 years. You are so clear and strong! Be proud ❤️
Thank you so much 😍 better than never 🙏
I do the sleeping on my arms thing messing my wrists up, that has gotten worse through life.
I know how hard narcissistic parents can be, I feel ya, especially ones on the spectrum
Imo, Autism and Narcissism extremely rarely show up in one person because they naturally oppose each other, so you might need to dig deeper, if you like to. I'm autistic and ADHD and m parents are two different types of Narcs. One of my worst partners has the same type with my mother, the "covert" form of NPD and he was misdiagnosed bx one of his long term acquaintances who's even a Psychologist, because Autism and this covert type look so much alike. I also have CPTSD, btw. Addictions can stem from trauma and/or from Narcissism. Listening to what your mother did to you, I can surely say she's not autistic, she's an abuser. Sorry for writing in bits. My mother hated me for liking her mother, she didn't tell me when she died, only put a card in my PO box though she lived only 2 mins away from my place amd she didn't even give me a single one of my Grandma's plastic chains I loved playing with, instead, she shared all the ring and stuff with my sisters. I'm 9/12 years older than them, btw. My mother has etranged my siblings from me and they have estranged my adult children from me, they went no contact with me, some years ago. The total destruction of the scapegoat child is such a mother's sole aim. I disappointed and abused her (so she says) and she wished the same for me.
I’m sorry to hear that, although I disagree that narcissism and autism oppose each other and that you can’t be an abusive autistic. I’ve seen and heard many examples of this, and I think it’s harmful to pretend they don’t exist, and perpetuates this idea of ‘autism is pure and innocent’. No, autistic people are people, and we’re capable of anything non-autistic people are capable of.