Exactly - The hypocrisy of my ex fiance he told me if I ever cheated on him he would cut both our throats - I was faithful for the whole 18mth we were together & HE was cheating on me with 'numerous' others behind my back right from the get go! I was appalled... seriously heart breaking stuff to have to accept... felt like I'd been hit by an emotional train... the disgusting realisation I was in love with wot was only a dream... they sell you the dream just to end up in a living nightmare ...
@@fionahawkes1758 exactly! They’re playing God with others’ lives, but they themselves are the devil...be healed and blessed! You will meet the right person...❤️
My inner spirit was whispering the entire time that we dated that something was off. When you feel the need to start investigating, trust that! Trust your intuition. God puts that inside of you and it's true. The narcissist will gaslight you until you no longer listen to yourself. Your longest relationship is with yourself so don't let anyone tell you that your intuition is wrong. It will save you a ton of time. Thank you for this video. It's 100% correct!
💯! Trust that need to investigate!! I heard that the minute you start looking in their phone, or searching through their stuff, you already have your answer. These Ns are wicked
@@queenjewels3585, or just viewing their social media. Mine had a ton of single woman as friends and he 💙 alot of inappropriate pictures. "There's your sign!"
So many things I should have questioned her on but the lovebombing was to good. And when I did question her she got mad and stopped talking to me for a while or we fought. Ended it and 2 years later I emailed her and now I am recovering again. So much more help now then there was 6 years ago. I went no contact on her Tuesday. So fat so good. Today is a little rough but I keep reminding myself that I am not missing a real human being. Came across this quote. Day by day I realize everything I miss about you was never there in the first place. The person I fell in love with was a mirage.
@@RJ-xd6ub proud of you!! A lot of people never get out. My Dad remained until his dying day. My NM final stab was to leave him all alone. I will never forget the look on his face when he questioned where his wife of 50 years was in his most critical moment in his life. She was unbothered sleeping at home and planning her next outing. As you get stronger delete photos, phone Numbers, emails, etc. Anything that has energy, get rid of it. You are going to feel a resistance but be the star that you are and block that energy from sucking you back in. One day at a time. This too shall pass
@@queenjewels3585 thank you. I deleted it all a few weeks ago. I have no urge to reach out to her. I will be fine over time. So mich support out there these days to deal with these monsters. Sorry to hear that about your dad. Very difficult to see it happen to him like that. I often wonder about my mom and the way she treated my dad. They are both passed so I don't dwell on it. Thanks again, have a great day.
You're in love with yourself. They mirror you, and you fall in love with yourself and the idea of not being alone, if that makes sense. But being alone is easy and relaxing once you realize this.
The narc I was with went into a rage one night, and I swear he really did turn into a demon. I was walking toward him, trying to speak to him, when his whole face became disfigured and his eyes turned black! He then proceeded to yell the words, “ DON’T YOU WALK UP TO ME LIKE I’M AN ORDINARY MAN!! I AM NOT NORMAL!” I was shocked and left the room immediately! He ranted and raved for more than an hour. The next day he blamed me for his out burst of anger. But then again, I was always the blame for everything. I am so happy that I saved myself from that mess.
The first rage is always something. Mine happened in the middle of a night too. I woke up hearing her swearing and talking to herself in the bathroom, when I went there to check on her she wouldn't speak to me and went to the living roon to slip on the floor in fetus position. She came back to bed a few hours later all cuddly. The morning after I asked her about all that and she told me nothing ever happened and that all her exes tried to ruin her life too. This day I understood something was very wrong with her.
@@sandrarthornton Yes, devaluation came very fast after that, eventually she discarded me and I have never heard of her again. I think she had BPD because she was never really malevolent and I could feel she didn't enjoy abusing me like a narc would do. Still she trauma-bonded me and despite it's been months I am still not 100% fine.
You are right!!!! When I met the exN, he was in a relationship that he described to me as toxic and it wasn’t a fit for him...he eventually ended it with that person...started seeing me....and another toxic cycle with the Narc has started. It was a repeat of the relationship he was in before me, the only thing changed was the female. He’s in another relationship doing the same thing I’m sure. He had me believing I was in love and I was going to be his wife sold me a pipe dream. All he left me was a baby to raise on my own and bad memories. They aren’t even good sides, these people have such a grandiose persona, they don’t want to be second to anyone or anything. These people don’t belong anywhere the top, the bottom, the side...give em to God, thats who can deal with them..once again great content tfs
I really believe these ppl are the anti christ minions disguised as humans .. try explaining w friends or family about these Narcopaths .. and you look crazy ! ☠️
You are right when you call them "the devil". Anyone who takes pleasure from someone's pain is a witch or warlock. Devil's greatest "juju" is making you think he ain't real.
We “fall in love” with a fantasy creature. The hardest shock (for me) was the realization that I did not know that person at all, even though I thought I knew him inside and out. When that mask drops (after several slips), that SLAP in the face is so hard. I agree, it’s not LOVE - it’s a projected feeling we have that we PROJECT onto them, we are falling for our own imagination! Right? Man this Narc biz sucks! lolol (Im a Super Empath btw)
Never get involved with someone who is still married, even if they’re separated. Especially if they’re still living in the same house. They will lie to keep you hooked into them and string you along for sex whenever they want it.
I'm from the Philippines and I have and undergoing with your topics specially this. Thank you. Now I understand better what's going on....I'm still hurting as of now..
In the society we live today, the NPD is not mainly caused by the actual abuse we know. Its mainly caused by the indirect abuse of putting children on a pedestal and not teaching them responsibilities to grow as responsible adults. I can assure you, many parents are grooming future narcs who will also learn from these forums how best to manipulate kind and loving people. The unfortunate part is that the abused only learn about narcissism after being long tortured, if they ever survived it with serious bruises.
At one point i just looked at him and a voice inside myself told me that i don't love him. Wish i would've listened to myself! Secondly, coverts are cheating in some way - probably emotional or whatever but they are!
Jaa, you are 100% right. Many a times in a relationship you just feel that you don't love the person but just covering them because you committed yourself to do good to this person from the beginning. Guarantee, 99% of covert narcs are and have always been cheating on you. Observe how people who know them look at you. They just petty you because they see how foolish you are for not recognizing the cheater whom you put on a pedesdal.
Isaac Ngoasheng true. Their flying monkeys are in on it. It really does hurt though that he married the woman he was cheating on me with while being engaged to me, and that too a few weeks before our wedding date. I don’t know what’s so special about her but I guess they both are happy.
These demons know exactly what you want and need in a relationship, but they choose not to give it to you. He told the therapist exactly what I wanted in the relationship, word for word. He chose NOT to give it to me because he made the decision long ago to never be vulnerable to anyone, that included the one he said that he "loved" and made a "commitment" to. He never loved me. He used to me get his needs met and be in a stable environment to continue his lifestyle. Do not give yourself to anyone who will love bomb you right away, tell you they love you right away, try to move in with you right away, or tie you down in marriage right away. If they cross your boundaries, put you down, and get forceful about it, run!
Your blinded by the lovebombing,because those Creatures are smooth criminals, once your away from those Monster's, the fog lift's and you will be able to see what they tried to hide from you in the beginning! We were tricked into loving those Monster's, they do not know what love is only hate and resentment when you wake up and RUN for your life!
You're so right. It hurts at the core when you realize folks like this exist and you fell for their games. The things he projected on to me was just incredibly telling. Calling me evil and vile when he simply spoke about his own character. Deny, dismiss, disrespectful demonic is what they are.
@@4islandbeauty I couldn't understand it either, I didn't know these kinds of Creatures existed! They are so demonic and you need another word for Evil! They are truly blinded by their own wickedness!
I let my guard down after being celibate for eight years. I'll put my story out come November at most. Meanwhile, the untaught generation is manifesting now and put themselves out as bate based in old traditional ways. I'm grateful to see young father's taking care of their children and witness how the mother's are hard on them because they can not except the reality of the future being healed
The worst are vulnerable narcissists. Shy, introvert, emotional vulnerability, covert, fragile....Hard to detect they are narcissists. They are diagnosed as autistic. He discarded me in a vicious way. After a lot of research I started to understand. Still hurting bad now...
@@Carmy0118 Yes...there is an overlap between autisme and narcissime. So that could be the case that there ate narcissistic traits. But especially vulnerable narcissists, or covert narcissists, are misdiagnosed as autistic because professionals can"t see through them.
One time durring the 3rd go around with my ex, she woke up while I was already up watching a Christian sermon on my phone with head phoned and she says "your going to die alone watching that shit" I said pack your stuff right then n there.
Come on tell it and GOD is the one that gave her breath everyday to speak that betrayable trash. Glad you took a STAND and may GOD direct your path on meeting WHOLESOME PEOPLE
You explain everything I went through.people who have not encountered a narcissist will never understand what we go through. I've never been addicted to anything like I was to him.
You are so right people look at you like you have been watching to many horror films . It took me 4 years to get over the first & I met another but got out quick . It still took me 18 months. Now I have met a lovely guy that is going through this & he is struggling to let go & get over the pain .
My motto is this: I’m determined to stand on top of everything that’s trying to bury me! We who have been deeply hurt must understand that we also are capable of healing ourselves and overcoming. We must be “Eagle Minded” meaning seeing things from a higher place rather than looking from the place of hurt. When you overcome something, you overstand it. I’m not speaking theories here I truly have been devastated by pain starting from a very early age. However, when I take all the pain and put it together, it’s still no match for Me! I’ve learned to transmute that hurt into positive energy to do good things. What all the pain I’ve endured has done for me is guide me inside myself to fix whatever is was and is broken. The people who hurt us are helping us and they don’t even know. So whenever you see them tell them Thank You! Thank you for making sharper, wiser, smarter, and glossy! Because of you I Shine and rise like the sun ☀️!
Thanks so much. Yes! You are so right. They have made us wiser, smarter, knowledgeable, and with much more wisdom. I am more stronger and wiser because of all my pain. And because of all hurt and pain, it have help me to work on all the broken area in my life. Thanks again sis.
Rest assured. Many who go through emotional torture by these devils are INFJs, empaths and co-dependents. Its unavoidable until you have gone through it and experienced it. Until you learn from Forums like these. The reason is that the aforementioned have deeper love than a normal person and are the people who can overcome, heal and re-invent themselves with massive energy if they get to understand who they have been dealing with.
On the day I got married, my intuition was screaming that he was off. Now I look at those old wedding pictures and I can see it clear as day. An hour after we got married, he threw a fit because the wedding video got erased. That was my sign from God that this marriage was doomed from the start.
PERFECT !!!! 👏👏👏👏 SO TRUE !!! My intuition ALWAYS told me : "GET OUT! HE'S A MONSTER". But I couldn't get out 😢😢 The pain was very huge. I became a human rag and when he found a new supply, he discarded me in a very cruel way. Push-pull, devaluation, ironies, sarcasm, sadism...I know well. Thank you for being here. You help a lot, Hario 💖
My wife ghosted me 8 months ago. Not a word from her since. Started the game back in April calling from private number and then hang up. Worst pain I have ever gone thru. I filed for a divorce in January and taking it day by day. Thanks for video.
So sorry you going thru this Tod. You will come out stronger, more knowledgeable, and spiritually awakened. Do your homework, learn as much as you can about narcissism and all its facets, stay strong, and get to know yourself better. I can honestly tell you that my divorce made me have Complex PTSD. Much love and support to you.
@@carospereman3537 Thank you for the support Caro. My wife started the triangulation stage yesterday while I was attending a live stream church service we used to attend.
Omg you hit the nail on the head! Thank you.My soon to be ex was a professional in lies. They have played this game so many times. You want that love that they gave you from the beginning. Then the mask slips and you dont realize that you are always fighting for that lovebombing.
They steal everything they can whether they need it or not! Lying is the same. They lie because they can. I’ve never met anyone who lies about everything before in my entire life. What a sad & dismal existence. These people are so damaged & broken.
Your description of the bonding process is so beautifully articulated! You uncover the truth about them so effortlessly. You have a soothing voice and manner. Keep making these. Thank you
My biggest regret is that I turned into him at the end !! My character changed I did him like he was doing me and I was I could of been strangest enough to just leave when I figured him out
another accurate video! I realize now I was trauma bonded and never in love!!!!!! It is amazing how we see everything so clearly AFTER we are out of the situation with a narc.
You’re so right nobody could marry a demon and get a happy ending or normal life and I’m working on a message for the youth I’m a youth minister I am a mentor and teacher I would like to have a teen conference on relationships and knowing your worth This Narc business is growing this demon is after the youth too many teens trying suicidal attempts because of this foul demon
Looking back the narc was dating someone when I was introduced to him through a friend. I told him I wasn’t interested. Two weeks later he called me to show me an email from his girlfriend!? or harem buddy standby who was breaking up with him. How convenient. He had obviously set her up. I was not physically but only intellectually attracted to him. Always trust the gut and say no to the narc. Eleven years later of a five year love bombed relationship and six years of toxic devaluation marriage trauma bonding. Hoover boy is hoovering 10 months later! Over and Out! No Contact!
It's been four months since I left the narcissist that I was with. I'm glad that God opened my eyes to see that he was not who he says he was. He loved bombed me and everything and messed with other women too I fell out of love with because he was lying to me all along. I'm glad that I did not marry him. He was very abusive to me and used drugs real bad
Married is married. I waited for years after the divorce especially as a child was affected, too. That trauma does not prepare you to go out and have a healthy relationship before you do the work. Bad enough that patterns still repeat and more work is required until you figure it out and others are consequences of your decisions, too, so responsibility is escalated. As the saying goes, "The best predictor of the future is the past," so don't rush. See the evidence tangibly and intangibly. Safety first!
We have to think of it like this anybody that can ghost you for days, weeks, months even years with no communication, Never loved are cared about you anyway! That’s what help me because I couldn’t dare do somebody I love like that but what we allow will continue so you have to give them a taste of their own medicine No contact!! Move on with your LIFE FREEDOM
You definitely have been giving the gift of seeing this whole thing through. Never marry a narcissist. You WILL regret it. They truly are evil. I have a daughter I think might be in drugs...my narcissist when he was Not getting the attention he thought he should, would purposely put shows about addiction on the tv. When he would see me distracted, not paying attention, he would put the volume all the way up. Once I didn’t react to the volume, so like a 3 yr old pouted and turned the tv off. I was appalled. That was the last I needed to see. Him abusing my motherly emotions, I left 3 days later, didn’t say anything , didn’t say goodbye just packed my children’s treasures and left while he was at work... and I never looked back.
I caught mine multiple times head on, and was shunned every sine time. I should've just walked away the first time, but the trauma bond was so strong. All in all I ended up discarding the Narc, but found out the Narc was numb to the discard. Turns out, the last Supply I caught him with, he was still secretly seeing, now openly. 💔 Changed phone number and went straight no contact, 16 weeks stress free and counting! 🙌
Great video!!! I married my Narc a few days after she divorced her first husband. I had found true love-Doh!!! Rose tinted glasses off now! I provided a roof over her head and her boys and they all enjoyed draining all my savings whilst my wife moved into devaluing me-then she gave the sudden goodbye and took half my house!!! I can look back after a year of hell to think-what a good choice she made in setting me free as I couldn’t do it 😂. I’m 67 but am going to enjoy the rest of my life in freedom now-Hallelujah!!!🙏
Literally, dealt with my ex for 10 years. He hovered for 10 years consistently seeking my attention trying to get a chance in my life only to end the relationship in 6 months because of cheating, lying and manipulation. I’m so happy to be free and look forward to what God has in store 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏽
I once told a sociopath no one ever loved you we loved ourselves because of the mirroring like in everything you like and so on. I agree with the push and pull trama bond as well.
They aren’t stable enough to have a real relationship. Love your delivery of this message. It’s helping me learn about my narc father and my last partner. Good job friend!
The narc I was dealing with was bold . He told me to my face “I can tell you whatever “ I took that as “yo dumb ass Neva catch on to my lies or bs” when in reality I was naive into thinking people like this didn’t existed
It seems to me that an empath facing a narcissist is the equivalent of God confronting the devil on a human level. Each works through us depending on which we serve. It's time to feed the empaths and starve the narcissists. The devil is a narcissist that only has his mind to offer and all you have to do to defeat him is say no.
Hello my brother and I agree with you 100% because I've been there and done that with narcissist and he was one of the worst men I've ever had in my life none of them are good and you're right there's nothing but demons from hell and they will hurt you if you don't get out ...married or not shalom.
You are heaven sent to be probably the first person to speak on the atrocity of narcissistic abuse, to which I am a survivor of. I was only reading on a website about it but ill leave that name out. It was helpful at the time. But to hear you, and your compassion, and everything you say resonates within. But the one thing you just said put It all in perspective, They a side piece and never should be elevated to any other position. I get that! My ex is in jail right now, like u said karma comes around 10 fold to them. Sad thing is they will do the same from jail, vulnerable at first but once they get all their ducks in a row they start cheating, lying, devalue. And they still so focused on they self not realizing you kno exactly wtf they doing. Thats their weakness, they underestimate the power of love. For God is Love! Get behind me you dirty devil! Amen. Thanks Hario🤍
Oh Hario, the minute they suspect you know they start an argument so they can leave; mine used to tell me you're destroying our relationship with your suspicious mind🤨😀
I feel like I can say “you’re right” when he tells me I don’t love him. It makes me upset because I thought my love was not giving up on him and staying. Confused! Thank you. There is nothing to love about disrespect, deceit, insecurity, a snake in the grass…etc
Hario ❤️ Your videos continue to be a source of information for me. Watching your videos helps me find my inner strength. Your words help me to believe that I can make it out of this entanglement and I will be ok. I need constant uplifting right now and you and the huddle family provide that for me every time. Thank you, Hario. Thank you for being the lighthouse shining my way through the dark storm that it the narcissist. Peace and love.
Wow! So in point. They are barely even good enough to be a side piece😂😂 And yes, they are the devil himself, no doubt about that. Thanks for a great video. It's what I needed to hear today.
Totally correct they won't let you love them at all years ago this happened to me but I flipped the script on this fool I gave it a year then while he was tripping and thought I would be waiting on him I met someone else ended up getting married then he tried to come back and I told him I was pregnant he was so upset shortly he was stalking me and he was a cop crazy I had to report him he still wouldn't leave me alone crazy he had a year he received a massive injury he even begged me to let him see my baby crazy narc
you speak facts ,i remember in the beginning he was the one that showed me all the love i remember even going over to kiss him and he pull away ,his excuse was he didn't want lipstick on him.that was a red flag ignored,he wanted me hooked to him, but him not letting me get close to him.its sad i found all this when its over, and im putting it all together,.thanks. wish i had found you sooner .but im over him now,its still good to hear these videos,its like taking a refresher course.
I'm in my 40s just starting to understand these dynamics in the last few years just ended it with another 'ike' 2 months ago...been going thru this on repeat my whole life Just starting to understand that my family of origin had these dynamics I just never saw it this way because there wasnt alot of physical abuse between my mom and step dad but all the other things were present Then they judged me my whole life as a stupid pos for having an abusive husband and boyfriends like I had any other choice being in this fog of confusion my whole childhood and being taught and conditioned to accept abuse from them and never to question it or point it out or Express myself. So twisted!!!! It might have took me 40 something years but now that I understand I'll never 'unsee' it! Now there's hope!! Thanks for being part of the solution
Thanks for sharing your words. You spoke my reality as well. I’ll be 49 next week and am just coming to the same conclusions as you. You’re not alone. Hope you’re doing well. Sending you love 🤎
Especially when we had absent or cold parents. We get trauma bonded, and even though we see the abuse- that bread crumb of love they sprinkle on us once every while feels like a whole meal. UNTIL you get counseling, which I suggest EMDR therapy, you will find yourself always in these entanglements of you giving your all and soul away to only receive a crumb of love and zero respect. YOU are the one, the light, the source. Tap in and cut off their life line.
Thank you, for addressing the young lady. I knew when I was with my narcissist ex-husband he would lie to these random women that he had problems in the marriage which was total bullshit! Narcissists are compulsive liars. He will say anything to get a new supply. I totally agree with you completely! If you dealing with someone that is telling you that they are separated or divorce makes sure you see the PAPERWORK PERIOD! Get the facts first!!!
I believe the damage a narc inflicts on you is a reflection of the damage that was initially inflicted on them that caused them to cut off all feeling to their heart. They made a choice to do it, they may have been victimized but they still chose a callous heart. I believe at some point they rejected natural love. They hardened their hearts and probably committed the unforgivable sin. That’s why they feel nothing for anyone, not even God or family. And that damage, they inflict on their victims over and over again.
Their master manipulators, their con artist , their predators, their delusional and deceitful. When we rationalize their behavior and constantly make excuses for their behavior we miss all the red flags , we ignore our gut instincts. It enables their abuse. Narcissist can not love , they have no empathy. Example: If a Narcissist is at a wake and people are crying they think this must be what sad is , they have no emotions. They are emotional detached from reality.
Thank you Hario I always felt the tug and release in the relationship but I don't understand the foundation of it.... love bomb and release.... exactly to control
Iv been involved with this dynamic for 11 years. I'm only 25. Almost half my life has been spent in a trauma bond. I believed we were soul mates, I told myself so many stories to why his emotional abuse was okay, I changed who I was to adapt to what I thought he wanted. I lost my identity, my self worth, self love. It's starting to become clearer. I was drawn towards him because he fulfilled a subconscious need that I have but didn't know. My mother was a narcissists, deug user, alchloic who was very hpt and cold towards my needs as a child, i learnt to adapt to wht i recived. Eventually I was placed into foster care at 11, met my trauma bond when I was 14, he was 16. I think that's why I felt so pulled towards him as he was familiar, he met a toxic need of what I thought was love. I can't blame him tho, he has his on childhood wounds that he is not conciously aware of (this hear is me telling myself an excuse to why his actions were okay, but I'm also someone who does believe that people act put of wounds so I can't hate him as that's just no me...) . As I also have my wounds that I wasn't aware of and that's why I allowed myself to stay in a toxic situation for so long. I'm trying so hard to heal myself, change my subconscious mind so I can be secure within and know my true worth. Hmmmm this is hard I'm not going to lie, for many years I have had a fake story in my head that now I know isn't real but I don't fully trust or believe my reality yet. I will get there, 1 day at a time as I can no longer live like this. I deserve to be happy. I want to live in reality again, not my head.
My narc played me. I didn’t like him in the beginning . It’s like God was talking to me but he started to be what I needed and I fell for it . He left me when our baby was three months , then the girl and I fight where I got arrested for the first time in my life because he and the girl called the cops on me. Not once did you he even asked the cops about me while I sat there in handcuff. All I saw was him comforting the girl. I cried so hard that night as I look at the way my life is turning out. I was in prison for a couple hours with 8 misdemeanors. When I came out I was still looking to see if he contacts me. Then one day at work he waited for me and talked stupid me into getting back with him. I fell for it. Then he left his apartment from roaches I took him in . Then the silent treatment started and he ended up moving abs never find me where he is. Now he did the devaluing and I was forced to leave, truer to get back with him abs he said no. Now his dad died and he came one day fir comfort then he disappeared again fir two days. He’s trying to tell me he’s healing alone yet when I call he doesn’t answer , if I text he takes a full 4 hours before he answers. The good thing is my days are getting stronger with out his flooded messages and calls. I just need to keep thinking of the bad so I can get over the other side of trauma bond.
I've been having terrible day of overwhelming sadness and he watched me in tears and he says what am I expecting the way I am ? It's NOT love. It's a demon playing games. Thank you for this message. I needed it today 🙏
So true brother. Around 10:00 that really clicked, happened to me exactly how you explained it. You should consider writting a book on this stuff! You are so on point.
They have the same play book 📚 This cycle happens with colleagues , family members , friends , etc.. The love bombing isn’t “ romantic “ but it comes on strong .. gifts 🎁, flattery , quality time , raises , promotions , etc.. And the devalue .. silent treatment , demotions , no gifts , less quality time , etc, etc ..,
Shortly after we met it went to crap and I asked him..wheres the guy I met..he said hes gone..I was totally blown away..never knew what a narc was till I saw a video that I stumbled on while on u tube..4 years of on and off torture..I won't answer his texts
You better figure out everything when dealing with one. I would find out stuff, bring the evidence to him and he would still deny it. One time he asked me how I find out about it all. I told him I could tell by the way he treated me. He treated me like he didn't care and had his attention elsewhere. They will treat you like dirt to feel good about what they're doing. They will punish you for not knowing what they're doing behind your back.
Once the Narc figures out their game is evident you will be discarded / blocked immediately! It’s a narcissist injury to them that they have been exposed !
![[FULL EP.16] เซียนพาลุย "เผือก-ฟรอยด์" กรี๊ดลั่น จนปูหนี | เฮ็ดอย่างเซียนหรั่ง | One Playground](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/FsqUvwS3b-Y/mqdefault.jpg)
Once you let go of the love story in your head you'll begin to see them for who they are.
Preach yes it was all a LIE!!
Amen
Exactly we gotta see them for who they really are.
Your right.
They expect you to be faithful...You better not cheat by any means, but they have no problem cheating on you.
Exactly - The hypocrisy of my ex fiance he told me if I ever cheated on him he would cut both our throats - I was faithful for the whole 18mth we were together & HE was cheating on me with 'numerous' others behind my back right from the get go! I was appalled... seriously heart breaking stuff to have to accept... felt like I'd been hit by an emotional train... the disgusting realisation I was in love with wot was only a dream... they sell you the dream just to end up in a living nightmare ...
@@fionahawkes1758 exactly! They’re playing God with others’ lives, but they themselves are the devil...be healed and blessed! You will meet the right person...❤️
True!!!
My inner spirit was whispering the entire time that we dated that something was off. When you feel the need to start investigating, trust that! Trust your intuition. God puts that inside of you and it's true. The narcissist will gaslight you until you no longer listen to yourself. Your longest relationship is with yourself so don't let anyone tell you that your intuition is wrong. It will save you a ton of time. Thank you for this video. It's 100% correct!
💯! Trust that need to investigate!! I heard that the minute you start looking in their phone, or searching through their stuff, you already have your answer. These Ns are wicked
@@queenjewels3585, or just viewing their social media. Mine had a ton of single woman as friends and he 💙 alot of inappropriate pictures. "There's your sign!"
So many things I should have questioned her on but the lovebombing was to good. And when I did question her she got mad and stopped talking to me for a while or we fought. Ended it and 2 years later I emailed her and now I am recovering again. So much more help now then there was 6 years ago. I went no contact on her Tuesday. So fat so good. Today is a little rough but I keep reminding myself that I am not missing a real human being. Came across this quote.
Day by day I realize everything I miss about you was never there in the first place. The person I fell in love with was a mirage.
@@RJ-xd6ub proud of you!! A lot of people never get out. My Dad remained until his dying day. My NM final stab was to leave him all alone. I will never forget the look on his face when he questioned where his wife of 50 years was in his most critical moment in his life. She was unbothered sleeping at home and planning her next outing. As you get stronger delete photos, phone Numbers, emails, etc. Anything that has energy, get rid of it. You are going to feel a resistance but be the star that you are and block that energy from sucking you back in. One day at a time. This too shall pass
@@queenjewels3585 thank you. I deleted it all a few weeks ago. I have no urge to reach out to her. I will be fine over time. So mich support out there these days to deal with these monsters.
Sorry to hear that about your dad. Very difficult to see it happen to him like that. I often wonder about my mom and the way she treated my dad. They are both passed so I don't dwell on it. Thanks again, have a great day.
You're in love with yourself. They mirror you, and you fall in love with yourself and the idea of not being alone, if that makes sense. But being alone is easy and relaxing once you realize this.
Mirroring what is this new age ?
I get what u saying....I guess I dont love myself enough
Scary isn't it
@@debiking5304 very...who knew there was such a thing.
They mimic, not proffected..... fake.....
Keep playing and if you stick around, you'll get this message
Sex was so bad with my narc, I wouldn't think of having him as a side piece. Worst sex, worst lover ever.
😁
The sex was ok with my ex... nothing spectacular. After awhile I didn't even like him touching me.
Lovemaking was all about him how I could satisfy him lol I think in 32 years I truly experienced you know ... 3 times 🤮🙄
@praiseJah omg sooo true ... he watched so much porn you would have thought he would have learned something ....terrible lol
Hahaha 😂
They are Emotional Drugdealers
Sarah Okudaye 😩‼️😩‼️
The narc I was with went into a rage one night, and I swear he really did turn into a demon. I was walking toward him, trying to speak to him, when his whole face became disfigured and his eyes turned black! He then proceeded to yell the words, “ DON’T YOU WALK UP TO ME LIKE I’M AN ORDINARY MAN!! I AM NOT NORMAL!” I was shocked and left the room immediately! He ranted and raved for more than an hour. The next day he blamed me for his out burst of anger. But then again, I was always the blame for everything. I am so happy that I saved myself from that mess.
The first rage is always something. Mine happened in the middle of a night too. I woke up hearing her swearing and talking to herself in the bathroom, when I went there to check on her she wouldn't speak to me and went to the living roon to slip on the floor in fetus position. She came back to bed a few hours later all cuddly. The morning after I asked her about all that and she told me nothing ever happened and that all her exes tried to ruin her life too. This day I understood something was very wrong with her.
daze507 wow ! That is crazzzy‼️. I hope you got out of that situation quickly! She sounds like she has NOD and something else going on.
@@sandrarthornton Yes, devaluation came very fast after that, eventually she discarded me and I have never heard of her again. I think she had BPD because she was never really malevolent and I could feel she didn't enjoy abusing me like a narc would do. Still she trauma-bonded me and despite it's been months I am still not 100% fine.
daze507 💕💕💕 feel better soon. Maybe therapy will help
@@sandrarthornton Thanks, you too. We will be ok and we're far better off anyway. Nobody needs toxicity and drama in life to be happy.
You are right!!!! When I met the exN, he was in a relationship that he described to me as toxic and it wasn’t a fit for him...he eventually ended it with that person...started seeing me....and another toxic cycle with the Narc has started. It was a repeat of the relationship he was in before me, the only thing changed was the female. He’s in another relationship doing the same thing I’m sure. He had me believing I was in love and I was going to be his wife sold me a pipe dream. All he left me was a baby to raise on my own and bad memories. They aren’t even good sides, these people have such a grandiose persona, they don’t want to be second to anyone or anything. These people don’t belong anywhere the top, the bottom, the side...give em to God, thats who can deal with them..once again great content tfs
I really believe these ppl are the anti christ minions disguised as humans .. try explaining w friends or family about these Narcopaths .. and you look crazy ! ☠️
Same story sis... exactly the same. Raising my daughter alone. But God delivered me. ❤️
You just quoted my life cant believe I stayed so long four children deep smh.
Amen! Only God can deal with narcissist...
Very similar story! It’s crazy!
You are right when you call them "the devil". Anyone who takes pleasure from someone's pain is a witch or warlock. Devil's greatest "juju" is making you think he ain't real.
Excellent comment
Here we looking for a red jumpsuit wearing devil...these demons are all over the place
a narcissist wants you to respect them for absolutely no reason lol
We “fall in love” with a fantasy creature. The hardest shock (for me) was the realization that I did not know that person at all, even though I thought I knew him inside and out. When that mask drops (after several slips), that SLAP in the face is so hard. I agree, it’s not LOVE - it’s a projected feeling we have that we PROJECT onto them, we are falling for our own imagination! Right? Man this Narc biz sucks! lolol (Im a Super Empath btw)
Mine would tell me that I didn't really know him...Wrong Sir. .I left you because I figured out who you really were!!
Never get involved with someone who is still married, even if they’re separated. Especially if they’re still living in the same house. They will lie to keep you hooked into them and string you along for sex whenever they want it.
I'm from the Philippines and I have and undergoing with your topics specially this. Thank you. Now I understand better what's going on....I'm still hurting as of now..
He's undergoing his divorce and separated for 6 yrs before I met him thru a common friend
I'm on almost 3 years engagement with this man and all of the signs that made me.confuse being in roller coaster is now clear. Thank you
At our age sex should be sacred and special not 'casual' unless someone is just seeking a booty call. this is so despicable.
@@patriciawhite9509 🎯🎯🎯
I love that you understand these demonic species.
👍❤
👍❣👍
So they treat us like their abuser treated them and the way they feel about themselves. that is not loving, that is the devil!
In the society we live today, the NPD is not mainly caused by the actual abuse we know. Its mainly caused by the indirect abuse of putting children on a pedestal and not teaching them responsibilities to grow as responsible adults. I can assure you, many parents are grooming future narcs who will also learn from these forums how best to manipulate kind and loving people. The unfortunate part is that the abused only learn about narcissism after being long tortured, if they ever survived it with serious bruises.
Isaac Ngoasheng spot on I'm a high school teacher
Bingo! They try to you like their ABUSER treated them in the past back when they were growing up.
@@Ebabie I agree.
@@Official_Trey269 Good points!
Thank God for the healing. Only God can open our eyes to the truth and once we are open to that,we can't go back to the narcissist's lies and deceit.
Amen. True!
So true
The devil is a narcissist and the narcissist is a devil. The devil is a liar and so is the narcissist. 😈👹👺
Yes, one in the same.
Absolutely
At one point i just looked at him and a voice inside myself told me that i don't love him. Wish i would've listened to myself!
Secondly, coverts are cheating in some way - probably emotional or whatever but they are!
I felt the same way
I’m like I don’t love him
cohenhaywood10
It’s a long story but you can not determine my feelings
Now that he’s gone hindsight is 2020
Don’t undermine my experience
I felt the same and yet I married him
A huge mistake!!!!
Jaa, you are 100% right. Many a times in a relationship you just feel that you don't love the person but just covering them because you committed yourself to do good to this person from the beginning. Guarantee, 99% of covert narcs are and have always been cheating on you. Observe how people who know them look at you. They just petty you because they see how foolish you are for not recognizing the cheater whom you put on a pedesdal.
Isaac Ngoasheng true. Their flying monkeys are in on it. It really does hurt though that he married the woman he was cheating on me with while being engaged to me, and that too a few weeks before our wedding date. I don’t know what’s so special about her but I guess they both are happy.
These demons know exactly what you want and need in a relationship, but they choose not to give it to you. He told the therapist exactly what I wanted in the relationship, word for word. He chose NOT to give it to me because he made the decision long ago to never be vulnerable to anyone, that included the one he said that he "loved" and made a "commitment" to. He never loved me. He used to me get his needs met and be in a stable environment to continue his lifestyle. Do not give yourself to anyone who will love bomb you right away, tell you they love you right away, try to move in with you right away, or tie you down in marriage right away. If they cross your boundaries, put you down, and get forceful about it, run!
Right On Toni... DO NO GIVE YOURSELF TO ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY LOVE YOU RIGHT AWAY.!!
AMEN and AMEN I wish I had known then what I know now he is a selfish bastard
I’ve never had a normal breakup I’ve been in these relationships all my life! Until 3 years ago. I’m now a loner and Iove it 😃
Great
Same feeling
I can relate. I can understand my fear of relationships that i've had since a child
Me too!
With the narc I was always alone he is a wicked thing
Your blinded by the lovebombing,because those Creatures are smooth criminals, once your away from those Monster's, the fog lift's and you will be able to see what they tried to hide from you in the beginning! We were tricked into loving those Monster's, they do not know what love is only hate and resentment when you wake up and RUN for your life!
You're so right. It hurts at the core when you realize folks like this exist and you fell for their games. The things he projected on to me was just incredibly telling. Calling me evil and vile when he simply spoke about his own character. Deny, dismiss, disrespectful demonic is what they are.
4islandbeauty yes he is ever word he said I know by experience 23 years. This why it hit deep , tears came to eyes 👀.
@@4islandbeauty I couldn't understand it either, I didn't know these kinds of Creatures existed! They are so demonic and you need another word for Evil! They are truly blinded by their own wickedness!
Spot on!!! 😌
I let my guard down after being celibate for eight years.
I'll put my story out come November at most.
Meanwhile, the untaught generation is manifesting now and put themselves out as bate based in old traditional ways.
I'm grateful to see young father's taking care of their children and witness how the mother's are hard on them because they can not except the reality of the future being healed
Painful truth. Soo hard to break the trauma bond, its like an addiction. 🙏🏼🦋
The worst are vulnerable narcissists. Shy, introvert, emotional vulnerability, covert, fragile....Hard to detect they are narcissists. They are diagnosed as autistic. He discarded me in a vicious way.
After a lot of research I started to understand.
Still hurting bad now...
But my ex was diagnosed as an autistic is it possible that he is still covert narcissist
@@Carmy0118 Yes...there is an overlap between autisme and narcissime. So that could be the case that there ate narcissistic traits.
But especially vulnerable narcissists, or covert narcissists, are misdiagnosed as autistic because professionals can"t see through them.
They are autistic for real? ? Makes sens i tough autistic people couldnt ne narcissist thqts crayyy
I dated someone just like that. It really caught me off guard
@@Karlien68 how are you doing now?
One time durring the 3rd go around with my ex, she woke up while I was already up watching a Christian sermon on my phone with head phoned and she says "your going to die alone watching that shit" I said pack your stuff right then n there.
You did the right thing !!! being alone with God in death is better than with your ex Narc in hell !!!
Amen
Good God Almighty. Get thee behind me satan!
Laugh out loud. I know that's right.
Come on tell it and GOD is the one that gave her breath everyday to speak that betrayable trash. Glad you took a STAND and may GOD direct your path on meeting WHOLESOME PEOPLE
You explain everything I went through.people who have not encountered a narcissist will never understand what we go through.
I've never been addicted to anything like I was to him.
You are so right people look at you like you have been watching to many horror films . It took me 4 years to get over the first & I met another but got out quick . It still took me 18 months. Now I have met a lovely guy that is going through this & he is struggling to let go & get over the pain .
My motto is this: I’m determined to stand on top of everything that’s trying to bury me! We who have been deeply hurt must understand that we also are capable of healing ourselves and overcoming. We must be “Eagle Minded” meaning seeing things from a higher place rather than looking from the place of hurt. When you overcome something, you overstand it. I’m not speaking theories here I truly have been devastated by pain starting from a very early age. However, when I take all the pain and put it together, it’s still no match for Me! I’ve learned to transmute that hurt into positive energy to do good things. What all the pain I’ve endured has done for me is guide me inside myself to fix whatever is was and is broken. The people who hurt us are helping us and they don’t even know. So whenever you see them tell them Thank You! Thank you for making sharper, wiser, smarter, and glossy! Because of you I Shine and rise like the sun ☀️!
Excellent comment! @ Tomeka Montegue
Thanks so much. Yes! You are so right. They have made us wiser, smarter, knowledgeable, and with much more wisdom. I am more stronger and wiser because of all my pain. And because of all hurt and pain, it have help me to work on all the broken area in my life. Thanks again sis.
adavasjar they will know you are over it by the authentic happiness inside you and the glow on your face! Shine On!! 💋❤️
This is a brilliant idea! Thank you so much for this.
Rest assured. Many who go through emotional torture by these devils are INFJs, empaths and co-dependents. Its unavoidable until you have gone through it and experienced it. Until you learn from Forums like these. The reason is that the aforementioned have deeper love than a normal person and are the people who can overcome, heal and re-invent themselves with massive energy if they get to understand who they have been dealing with.
On the day I got married, my intuition was screaming that he was off. Now I look at those old wedding pictures and I can see it clear as day. An hour after we got married, he threw a fit because the wedding video got erased. That was my sign from God that this marriage was doomed from the start.
Yesss! Same here!!
PERFECT !!!! 👏👏👏👏 SO TRUE !!! My intuition ALWAYS told me : "GET OUT! HE'S A MONSTER". But I couldn't get out 😢😢 The pain was very huge. I became a human rag and when he found a new supply, he discarded me in a very cruel way. Push-pull, devaluation, ironies, sarcasm, sadism...I know well.
Thank you for being here. You help a lot, Hario 💖
Unfortunately I’m glad to hear I’m not alone in this
My wife ghosted me 8 months ago. Not a word from her since. Started the game back in April calling from private number and then hang up. Worst pain I have ever gone thru. I filed for a divorce in January and taking it day by day. Thanks for video.
So sorry you going thru this Tod. You will come out stronger, more knowledgeable, and spiritually awakened. Do your homework, learn as much as you can about narcissism and all its facets, stay strong, and get to know yourself better. I can honestly tell you that my divorce made me have Complex PTSD. Much love and support to you.
@@carospereman3537 Thank you for the support Caro. My wife started the triangulation stage yesterday while I was attending a live stream church service we used to attend.
Did she contact u yet ? 😂
Absolutely one of the hardest addictions I ever had to break
Omg you hit the nail on the head! Thank you.My soon to be ex was a professional in lies. They have played this game so many times. You want that love that they gave you from the beginning. Then the mask slips and you dont realize that you are always fighting for that lovebombing.
The one I married is a liar with all his heart
I agree Tracy
When you take the narcissist back the trauma bond is worst
Even if you catch them they find a way to blame you anyway!
They steal everything they can whether they need it or not! Lying is the same. They lie because they can. I’ve never met anyone who lies about everything before in my entire life. What a sad & dismal existence. These people are so damaged & broken.
Your description of the bonding process is so beautifully articulated! You uncover the truth about them so effortlessly. You have a soothing voice and manner. Keep making these. Thank you
When I get rid of him I never want to set eyes on him again. God please don't let me go through this again in my life
Without trust you will never have a healthy relationship.
My biggest regret is that I turned into him at the end !! My character changed I did him like he was doing me and I was I could of been strangest enough to just leave when I figured him out
another accurate video! I realize now I was trauma bonded and never in love!!!!!! It is amazing how we see everything so clearly AFTER we are out of the situation with a narc.
You’re so right nobody could marry a demon and get a happy ending or normal life and I’m working on a message for the youth I’m a youth minister I am a mentor and teacher
I would like to have a teen conference on relationships and knowing your worth
This Narc business is growing this demon is after the youth too many teens trying suicidal attempts because of this foul demon
Jesus
After relationship with the narcisist you don't trust your judgement 😕
Looking back the narc was dating someone when I was introduced to him through a friend. I told him I wasn’t interested. Two weeks later he called me to show me an email from his girlfriend!? or harem buddy standby who was breaking up with him. How convenient. He had obviously set her up. I was not physically but only intellectually attracted to him. Always trust the gut and say no to the narc. Eleven years later of a five year love bombed relationship and six years of toxic devaluation marriage trauma bonding. Hoover boy is hoovering 10 months later! Over and Out! No Contact!
My ex narc was the exactly the same!!!
i realized over time as i healed that i never knew them forreal. it was my worst nightmare.
It's been four months since I left the narcissist that I was with. I'm glad that God opened my eyes to see that he was not who he says he was. He loved bombed me and everything and messed with other women too I fell out of love with because he was lying to me all along. I'm glad that I did not marry him. He was very abusive to me and used drugs real bad
Good analogy with saying they are only good for being side pieces or flings. Nothing about them is relationship material
The narc is the devil it's like a scary movie everything starts off being great then everything goes from bad to worst
Married is married. I waited for years after the divorce especially as a child was affected, too. That trauma does not prepare you to go out and have a healthy relationship before you do the work. Bad enough that patterns still repeat and more work is required until you figure it out and others are consequences of your decisions, too, so responsibility is escalated.
As the saying goes, "The best predictor of the future is the past," so don't rush. See the evidence tangibly and intangibly. Safety first!
NAC are very wicked people
You are so right! Narcissist cannot play the main position. They are not equipped to do so. Side piece only!
I have tears rolling down my face from this brutal honesty. Straight up abuse. 100 percent facts you are stating.
We have to think of it like this anybody that can ghost you for days, weeks, months even years with no communication, Never loved are cared about you anyway! That’s what help me because I couldn’t dare do somebody I love like that but what we allow will continue so you have to give them a taste of their own medicine No contact!! Move on with your LIFE FREEDOM
Wow. So true a Narc will try to be that side piece after divorcing you literally...with pride. NO SHAME IN THE GAME.
You definitely have been giving the gift of seeing this whole thing through. Never marry a narcissist. You WILL regret it. They truly are evil. I have a daughter I think might be in drugs...my narcissist when he was Not getting the attention he thought he should, would purposely put shows about addiction on the tv. When he would see me distracted, not paying attention, he would put the volume all the way up. Once I didn’t react to the volume, so like a 3 yr old pouted and turned the tv off. I was appalled. That was the last I needed to see. Him abusing my motherly emotions, I left 3 days later, didn’t say anything , didn’t say goodbye just packed my children’s treasures and left while he was at work... and I never looked back.
You are right what you said. No explanation needed. The person is married to someone else period!
You captured EVERY fiber of my ex who is a narcissist! Thank you!
I caught mine multiple times head on, and was shunned every sine time. I should've just walked away the first time, but the trauma bond was so strong. All in all I ended up discarding the Narc, but found out the Narc was numb to the discard. Turns out, the last Supply I caught him with, he was still secretly seeing, now openly. 💔 Changed phone number and went straight no contact, 16 weeks stress free and counting! 🙌
Great video!!! I married my Narc a few days after she divorced her first husband. I had found true love-Doh!!! Rose tinted glasses off now! I provided a roof over her head and her boys and they all enjoyed draining all my savings whilst my wife moved into devaluing me-then she gave the sudden goodbye and took half my house!!! I can look back after a year of hell to think-what a good choice she made in setting me free as I couldn’t do it 😂. I’m 67 but am going to enjoy the rest of my life in freedom now-Hallelujah!!!🙏
I never knew such demonic manipulative people existed until.i was involved. You.know them soooooo well
Literally, dealt with my ex for 10 years. He hovered for 10 years consistently seeking my attention trying to get a chance in my life only to end the relationship in 6 months because of cheating, lying and manipulation. I’m so happy to be free and look forward to what God has in store 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙏🏽
It's amazing how you compare normal relationships versus a narcissistic relationship. It's very eye opening. Thank you!
Sure is
So grateful that i am free from the situation. This vid gave me flash backs. Whoa.....
The good side you saw is fake. The bad side you saw is real.
Facts 💯
I once told a sociopath no one ever loved you we loved ourselves because of the mirroring like in everything you like and so on. I agree with the push and pull trama bond as well.
They aren’t stable enough to have a real relationship. Love your delivery of this message. It’s helping me learn about my narc father and my last partner. Good job friend!
The narc I was dealing with was bold . He told me to my face “I can tell you whatever “ I took that as “yo dumb ass Neva catch on to my lies or bs” when in reality I was naive into thinking people like this didn’t existed
Trauma bonding is a powerful bond to break...thank God I am free at have peace these days..
It seems to me that an empath facing a narcissist is the equivalent of God confronting the devil on a human level. Each works through us depending on which we serve. It's time to feed the empaths and starve the narcissists. The devil is a narcissist that only has his mind to offer and all you have to do to defeat him is say no.
Hello my brother and I agree with you 100% because I've been there and done that with narcissist and he was one of the worst men I've ever had in my life none of them are good and you're right there's nothing but demons from hell and they will hurt you if you don't get out ...married or not shalom.
You are heaven sent to be probably the first person to speak on the atrocity of narcissistic abuse, to which I am a survivor of. I was only reading on a website about it but ill leave that name out. It was helpful at the time. But to hear you, and your compassion, and everything you say resonates within. But the one thing you just said put It all in perspective, They a side piece and never should be elevated to any other position. I get that! My ex is in jail right now, like u said karma comes around 10 fold to them. Sad thing is they will do the same from jail, vulnerable at first but once they get all their ducks in a row they start cheating, lying, devalue. And they still so focused on they self not realizing you kno exactly wtf they doing. Thats their weakness, they underestimate the power of love. For God is Love! Get behind me you dirty devil!
Amen. Thanks Hario🤍
Oh Hario, the minute they suspect you know they start an argument so they can leave; mine used to tell me you're destroying our relationship with your suspicious mind🤨😀
I feel like I can say “you’re right” when he tells me I don’t love him. It makes me upset because I thought my love was not giving up on him and staying. Confused! Thank you. There is nothing to love about disrespect, deceit, insecurity, a snake in the grass…etc
Amen. Your probly the best on TH-cam one of the best for sure on this topic. God bless you.
Hario ❤️ Your videos continue to be a source of information for me. Watching your videos helps me find my inner strength. Your words help me to believe that I can make it out of this entanglement and I will be ok. I need constant uplifting right now and you and the huddle family provide that for me every time. Thank you, Hario. Thank you for being the lighthouse shining my way through the dark storm that it the narcissist. Peace and love.
Wow! So in point. They are barely even good enough to be a side piece😂😂
And yes, they are the devil himself, no doubt about that. Thanks for a great video. It's what I needed to hear today.
Totally correct they won't let you love them at all years ago this happened to me but I flipped the script on this fool I gave it a year then while he was tripping and thought I would be waiting on him I met someone else ended up getting married then he tried to come back and I told him I was pregnant he was so upset shortly he was stalking me and he was a cop crazy I had to report him he still wouldn't leave me alone crazy he had a year he received a massive injury he even begged me to let him see my baby crazy narc
you speak facts ,i remember in the beginning he was the one that showed me all the love i remember even going over to kiss him and he pull away ,his excuse was he didn't want lipstick on him.that was a red flag ignored,he wanted me hooked to him, but him not letting me get close to him.its sad i found all this when its over, and im putting it all together,.thanks. wish i had found you sooner .but im over him now,its still good to hear these videos,its like taking a refresher course.
Happened to me and bottom line if he or she is married. Stay away until divorce is final! Respect the whole family.
I'm in my 40s just starting to understand these dynamics in the last few years just ended it with another 'ike' 2 months ago...been going thru this on repeat my whole life
Just starting to understand that my family of origin had these dynamics I just never saw it this way because there wasnt alot of physical abuse between my mom and step dad but all the other things were present
Then they judged me my whole life as a stupid pos for having an abusive husband and boyfriends like I had any other choice being in this fog of confusion my whole childhood and being taught and conditioned to accept abuse from them and never to question it or point it out or Express myself. So twisted!!!! It might have took me 40 something years but now that I understand I'll never 'unsee' it! Now there's hope!! Thanks for being part of the solution
Me to
Thanks for sharing your words. You spoke my reality as well. I’ll be 49 next week and am just coming to the same conclusions as you. You’re not alone. Hope you’re doing well. Sending you love 🤎
Me too. But remember it’s never late for new begining. Never. Sending love to you all. Keep going ,stay strong🌹❤️🔥
Thats true. I can't even say anything she done too make me love her. Other than abuse..
Especially when we had absent or cold parents. We get trauma bonded, and even though we see the abuse- that bread crumb of love they sprinkle on us once every while feels like a whole meal. UNTIL you get counseling, which I suggest EMDR therapy, you will find yourself always in these entanglements of you giving your all and soul away to only receive a crumb of love and zero respect.
YOU are the one, the light, the source. Tap in and cut off their life line.
Thank you, for addressing the young lady. I knew when I was with my narcissist ex-husband he would lie to these random women that he had problems in the marriage which was total bullshit! Narcissists are compulsive liars. He will say anything to get a new supply. I totally agree with you completely! If you dealing with someone that is telling you that they are separated or divorce makes sure you see the PAPERWORK PERIOD! Get the facts first!!!
I believe the damage a narc inflicts on you is a reflection of the damage that was initially inflicted on them that caused them to cut off all feeling to their heart. They made a choice to do it, they may have been victimized but they still chose a callous heart. I believe at some point they rejected natural love. They hardened their hearts and probably committed the unforgivable sin. That’s why they feel nothing for anyone, not even God or family. And that damage, they inflict on their victims over and over again.
My kids are love bombed. Keep us in prayer
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Their master manipulators, their con artist , their predators, their delusional and deceitful. When we rationalize their behavior and constantly make excuses for their behavior we miss all the red flags , we ignore our gut instincts. It enables their abuse. Narcissist can not love , they have no empathy. Example: If a Narcissist is at a wake and people are crying they think this must be what sad is , they have no emotions. They are emotional detached from reality.
Thank you Hario I always felt the tug and release in the relationship but I don't understand the foundation of it.... love bomb and release.... exactly to control
My dad always said if someone leaves their wife for you then he will leave you for someone else.
Iv been involved with this dynamic for 11 years. I'm only 25. Almost half my life has been spent in a trauma bond. I believed we were soul mates, I told myself so many stories to why his emotional abuse was okay, I changed who I was to adapt to what I thought he wanted. I lost my identity, my self worth, self love. It's starting to become clearer. I was drawn towards him because he fulfilled a subconscious need that I have but didn't know. My mother was a narcissists, deug user, alchloic who was very hpt and cold towards my needs as a child, i learnt to adapt to wht i recived. Eventually I was placed into foster care at 11, met my trauma bond when I was 14, he was 16. I think that's why I felt so pulled towards him as he was familiar, he met a toxic need of what I thought was love. I can't blame him tho, he has his on childhood wounds that he is not conciously aware of (this hear is me telling myself an excuse to why his actions were okay, but I'm also someone who does believe that people act put of wounds so I can't hate him as that's just no me...) . As I also have my wounds that I wasn't aware of and that's why I allowed myself to stay in a toxic situation for so long. I'm trying so hard to heal myself, change my subconscious mind so I can be secure within and know my true worth. Hmmmm this is hard I'm not going to lie, for many years I have had a fake story in my head that now I know isn't real but I don't fully trust or believe my reality yet. I will get there, 1 day at a time as I can no longer live like this. I deserve to be happy. I want to live in reality again, not my head.
100% correct..!! On the love thing👍
So happy for you Hario! We love you!
My narc played me. I didn’t like him in the beginning . It’s like God was talking to me but he started to be what I needed and I fell for it . He left me when our baby was three months , then the girl and I fight where I got arrested for the first time in my life because he and the girl called the cops on me. Not once did you he even asked the cops about me while I sat there in handcuff. All I saw was him comforting the girl. I cried so hard that night as I look at the way my life is turning out. I was in prison for a couple hours with 8 misdemeanors. When I came out I was still looking to see if he contacts me. Then one day at work he waited for me and talked stupid me into getting back with him. I fell for it. Then he left his apartment from roaches I took him in . Then the silent treatment started and he ended up moving abs never find me where he is. Now he did the devaluing and I was forced to leave, truer to get back with him abs he said no. Now his dad died and he came one day fir comfort then he disappeared again fir two days. He’s trying to tell me he’s healing alone yet when I call he doesn’t answer , if I text he takes a full 4 hours before he answers. The good thing is my days are getting stronger with out his flooded messages and calls. I just need to keep thinking of the bad so I can get over the other side of trauma bond.
I've been having terrible day of overwhelming sadness and he watched me in tears and he says what am I expecting the way I am ? It's NOT love. It's a demon playing games. Thank you for this message. I needed it today 🙏
So true brother. Around 10:00 that really clicked, happened to me exactly how you explained it. You should consider writting a book on this stuff! You are so on point.
They have the same play book 📚
This cycle happens with colleagues , family members , friends , etc..
The love bombing isn’t “ romantic “ but it comes on strong .. gifts 🎁, flattery , quality time , raises , promotions , etc..
And the devalue .. silent treatment , demotions , no gifts , less quality time , etc, etc ..,
Ty for confirming what I finally realized the hard way!
Soooo this explains why I was sitting outside of his house 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ something I have NEVER done... thanks for the clarity 😬
Wow now i'm seeing why she is always in an abusive relationship and i'm not catching on to it now i see all the bs thank you never again!
Shortly after we met it went to crap and I asked him..wheres the guy I met..he said hes gone..I was totally blown away..never knew what a narc was till I saw a video that I stumbled on while on u tube..4 years of on and off torture..I won't answer his texts
I feel you bruh. She lies all the time.
I’m binge watching your videos and feeling stronger and stronger
You better figure out everything when dealing with one. I would find out stuff, bring the evidence to him and he would still deny it. One time he asked me how I find out about it all. I told him I could tell by the way he treated me. He treated me like he didn't care and had his attention elsewhere. They will treat you like dirt to feel good about what they're doing. They will punish you for not knowing what they're doing behind your back.
Brilliant video, every word you’ve said is true Hario, many thanx from England.
Once the Narc figures out their game is evident you will be discarded / blocked immediately! It’s a narcissist injury to them that they have been exposed !