The BPD Bunch S3E11.5: Intro to the BPD Favorite Person
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2024
- Ever wondered about the 'favorite person' in borderline personality disorder? 🤔
In this intro episode, Xannie, Alex, Katja, and Jess tackle the hot topic of the 'favorite person,' defining the FP phenomenon, and sharing personal stories and invaluable insights. Don't miss out on the wisdom and connection - hit subscribe and stay tuned for Season Four's deep dive into this crucial topic!
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About Us:
The BPD bunch is a TH-cam talk show, featuring a panel of people who are in functional recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. Each week we discuss BPD-related topics to help give you insights into the different ways BPD can be expressed in someone’s life. We also cover the different paths we followed on our recovery journeys to give you hope and direction for your own ❤️ Thank you for being on this journey of healing with us!
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Disclaimer:
Although several of our panelists work in the mental health field, we are all coming to you as people in functional recovery from BPD, and are not here to provide professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Instead, we hope that by sharing our stories and what was helpful for us, you can gain some insight and direction into your own recovery ❤️🩹
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I appreciate everyone talking about this topic. It is very important to bpd
It’s interesting to me that a concept which is so widely known and identified with amongst the BPD community is still not understood amongst healthcare providers. I feel like a lot of what we know and understand about various psychiatric diagnoses is provided by those with first hand experience, rather than clinical studies and research. Yet another reason to have these conversations.
In my area the majority of the 'therapy' is provided by people with a BPD diagnosis who were in your position when they started the journey. (The NHS calls it 'peer therapy and they actually refer you for it even tho its kot privded by them and none of the therapists have any qualifications). There is no NHS psychotherapy. There's no input from actual medical professionals. It's so annoying cos they need to be involved in order to learn.
Just found this channel. Thank you for doing this!
Thanks!
Great to see Alex and Jess back on the show. Thanks guys :)
I enjoy hearing their perspectives, absolutely.
Thank you for these videos, I am on my healing journey and it helps me feel less lonely ❤
Yall are helping me so much thank you.
Question. Financial crisis. Can’t afford therapy. Any thoughts, advice, hacks for these times? I know you guys covered it. Tough times. Appreciate this more than ever
I totally wish I was with this bunch of people❤️ you guys are absolutely amazing!!
I have BPD and I am not judging but you can see why people call us toxic/manipulative etc because this video shows that people have pretended to be friends with someone to get to their FP and lied to that person’s face etc. so what makes someone toxic? Can you contract out of being toxic because you have bpd? Or are all people who “are not in recovery” actually severely toxic people?
Hi! 👋 The story you referenced was mine 😬 (I don’t feel judged! Just remembering that story makes me cringe inside 😂)
You pose an interesting question!
(As an aside, I don’t ascribe to the idea that ANYONE is “toxic” because I think all humans are multidimensional, and the relative level of problematic behavior they display is almost always going to be (at least partially) dependent on the context. Poison is poisonous 100% of the time. That’s toxic. People have their toxic traits and their non-toxic ones.)
Back to your point though - I do think it’s important for those of us with BPD to recognize that the stigma does come from somewhere. I don’t think we get a free pass from having our behavior labeled as toxic or problematic just because we have a diagnosis. While I can’t speak for anyone else, I definitely would say that the version of me that existed before functional recovery regularly engaged in toxic behavior and was not at all a reliable person to have any kind of relationship with. As much as I whined and begged people to stay, I now think they did the right thing by refusing to put up with my shenanigans.
@@xannibelleI love your response to this. As a partner of an untreated BPD lifemate, he is at one time insanely toxic and capable of levels of cruelty I didn't know existed and also I absolutely adore him and have incredible empathy and sympathy and compassion for him because I've come to understand that he isn't quite in control of any of this most (any?) days. I understand, in large part, how he GOT to this place and my heart breaks for the little boy he was when he (incredibly resourcefully even!) built this version of himself, and for how soft and susceptible his heart can truly be, underneath all this. But during an episode (which are very very frequent lately, things are coming to a head,) it is OTHER LEVEL frustrating when what he's perceiving is simply a complete delusion, one that be believesn in fully in the moment. And during a splitting episode, he is some demon hell creature other entity entirely - I recognize NOTHING of him, which is terrifying... but for BOTH of us, I realize. If I didn't understand it (and we did not until fairly recently: he was diagnosed with everything BUT BPD, which is very very very evidently, 100% certainty, what he DOES suffer from,) I'd be stuck in a much darker, more hopeless place today. It's been life-changing to understand that THIS IS A THING, and he is so textbook (severe, but textbook.)
People are not toxic. Reactions and perceptions can be though. 🤍🔥
Really Nice
Need a part 2!!
Coming April 3!
Love the vids. I wonder if FB can be part of a bigger picture of living through external energy. I find this not only in regaurds to another person, but even according to the things im doing and the weather etc.
1:30 That's a very interesting idea. My life partner has BPD (and I have known him since he was 12, so I've seen it unfold as he is now almost 30) and there have been and still are so many times as I try to figure out what on earth is happening that I realize I am just acting as a mirror for him to express these really negative things at/onto. I'm even starting to figure out how to delay this as-yet inevitable onslaught of his loathing rage toward "me" (not me, as it makes so little sense, he is not describing me at all,) but so far I can only push back the onslaught, not dissipate, comfort, or assauge it - as apparently that is something he has to figure out within himself. It's almost as if he NEEDS to express X amount of negativity at/toward me - in one form or another (be it face to face conflict or vitriolic texts he sends, that do not stop beyond slowing down if I don't engage at all) in a REAL way until he gets it out. It's interesting you say the weather in this regard also, as he and I are both avid at-home weather chasers, if you will. We love storms and the intense clashes of the two separate fronts colliding (symbolic perhaps?), and he sometimes gets so hyped from intense weather that it'll seem to almost interrupt the cycle we've been in for years now, and somehow the conflicting weather seems to disspell some of the conflict within himself. Also, he's gotten very into fishing the past couple years and for a long while, the outcome of his fishing efforts (catch none, catch one, catch a specific one, catch a large one, catch multiple ones) would shape his entire receptivity of me and our son and the entirety of his day, leading up to weeks or months even in winter when he doesn't catch anything for long stretches of time. It affects him so profoundly that it's obvious to me it's about something way beyond the fishing itself. As if he is somehow redeeming some ancient, traumatic sleight neither of us know consciously of (though we can speculate sometimes,) and he can morph into almost the less intense, much younger, somehow freer, pre-BPD episode cycle person he was before "Normal life" forced him to create a seeming schedule (cycle) of it.
I'm not sure the English lady understood a Favourite Person especially one thats had a romantic and intimate relationship over a period of years that will imprint on the pwBPD.
How do you have more then 1 "FP" i dont understand this. MY "FP" WAS MY WORLD AND WHO I WAS but when they left me I lost who i was and went into self-destruction this was all i could do to kill The emptiness. And this was 6 years ago. Since then i stay away from people because they dont understand
i want to contact my FP but last time we talked i tried to end my existence feel so alone