@@BorderlinerNotes Dear community, I guess my question to you is fitting for this comment: how to handle borderline stigma and diagnosis? As you said Charlotte is willing to help others, I was wondering if it could be a good topic and worth a discussion: Is it good being open about a diagnosis or could it be more helpful to keep it private? Especially at work place/ field, among friends and family. Oftentimes therapists give the advice not to disclose such matters, it could affect the progression or have adverse effects in future.
To anyone who feels the same as her; “why would anyone want to be with me,” we want to be with you because you deserve love and we understand you well enough to be patient for you; as long as you always bring this vulnerability and honesty and meet us half way.
I agree but feel something is missing here: I think it's important for us and for people with Charlotte's capacity and also strong tendency to hurt people to acknowledge that many healthy people WILL leave someone who is causing them too much harm. Nobody should make false promises to someone with BPD. That said, hopefully we can all understand that that isn't because they have BPD! BPD happens to be one of the most potent ways of hurting people, but it is not the only way, of course. To minimize total abandonment, more loved ones of people with BPD should stand firm that they will not, under any circumstances, physically or over the phone or by reading texts or emails stay and take BPD abuse. If someone refuses to be abused, it literally makes the person with BPD less abusive! But you can always give the BPD person another chance: you leave as fast as possible if they start hurling abuse, but the concern stays, and if it's safe, you come back to see how the person is doing and forgive and carry on. Non-BPD people should take responsibility, and not let BPD people convince them that damage control is abandonment! If the BPD person screams that you can't leave, that's you're breaking them, play the long game, for both of your sakes: be the first to leave, but also be the one to come back. Learn that always being there for someone doesn't mean you have to take their abuse! Too many people enable BPD rage.
I have BPD, and it’s a hellish way to live. I’ve done DBT and CBT, and I’m better, but relationships are still hard. I see my younger self so much in Charlotte. I hope she can find happiness someday.
Wishing u well! Check out Dr Daniel Fox! Excellent helpful videos and very empathetic person! Also his comment section is great! He's got a work book on BPD therapy as well. Again, wishing u well!
She is very intense, very self-monitoring, paranoid and full of pain. I am sorry to hear about her struggle. It's very visible how she has this painful self inside that wants to express unexpressed pain, but she (partly) controls that expression. But it constantly spills, even in this interview. It's like, "WTF have I done wrong again??" and then she reacts like she was accused of something and she needs to self-protect again, her adrenaline goes up. I can imagine that she spends about 1000 calories a day on self-monitoring only and adjusting behaviours appropriately, but she doesn't have it fully under control. The "painful self" wants to express itself anytime it can, even in inappropriate situations. It wants others to know about its tremendous pain. Because it was never heard, it never settled. Obviously, even the interviewer here was caught off-guard by some of her reactions, and she had to devise something to save the situation. Please, my comment is not to offend anyone. I've been looking into psychology for over a decade, and I am fascinated by the human brain, so I am just commenting on what I see and perceive. I can be a bit blunt, but in reality, I feel deeply sorry for all people who struggle with mental problems and personality disorders.
Yes I don’t think it’s offensive. I also noticed those exact moments and interpreted them the same way you did. But then again I also have BPD so it was like watching myself. Lots of compassion for her ❤
Same I was experiencing the same fear as well just watching her the anger the shorten adjustment period she’s able to think on her feet of course but she’s probably never been loved properly and it’s hard for her to deal with it the interviewer also shows slight apprehension especially with the feign smile in the beginning to show sympathetic support to the bpd patient
Charlotte also takes on an extraordinary amount of responsibility for the communication success in this interview. Not characteristic for a pWBPD. I think this is special and should be acknowledged.
I like how you described that because I can relate to her so much, I also carry a ton of pain inside and find it easier to get through life alone with my pets and daughter and cut myself off from the outside world. I can use my energy toward creative projects, fixing up my home and farm, working in garden, camping, beach trips, skiing, hiking...all therapeutic and healing. Relationships were draining my energy cause all the men in my life were covert narcissists. When I feel lonely I redirect my thoughts to my blessings and give thanks that I survived and accomplished many things along the way. It may not be my destiny to find a loving relationship, maybe I need to learn to love myself and be happy and content alone.
The way she is able to foresee an ‘explosion’ and accept the reality of it, is what struck me the most. Having a parent with BPD, I am aware at how that recognition alone speaks volumes about her own progress. It just reaffirms how important therapy is for us all.
To hear Charlotte describe her experiences is heartbreaking actually. Father passed away, estranged from her mother, and intensely lonely. It’s incredibly brave what she’s doing and I know it’s helping others.
I can empathise with her as also having no parents for the same reason and no support network can be a huge challenge in maintaining a good mental health
Charlotte, if you are worried you are like your mother, then stop being like her by punishing yourself. The greatest rebellion you can commit against your mother is to learn how to love yourself, and then to do it, unabashedly. When you would dig your nails into your skin when your mother was abusive, that was mirroring behavior. It's hard to learn to love, but I believe in you. Thank you for sharing your story; you're helping people more than you'll ever know. A beautiful act of love for total strangers; you're better than you know, one day I hope you do.
I can identify so much with Charlotte. If you see this, you are not alone, and we all thank you for helping all of us feel seen and understood. You're so important. Your voice matters.
She's so brave and I felt deeply for her, I saw myself in her. I've been alone now 6 years, my last relationship with my daughters father was so bad. don't think I can ever date or trust again. At 51 now I see the patterns and still learning about Personality disorders. Trying to heal my life after a childhood filled with terrible violent abuse. Had to cut contact with my entire family and toxic friends. Not sure who I am and where I'm going in life but I feel more stable alone than in a relationship. They have all been so abusive to me, can't believe that's how my life played out. I need a different ending.
You are a very brave soul. You have been through a lot. Suffering is not something that is avoidable, each person has his/her own cross. You don't have to feel lonely, over powered by the people who took advantage of you, you can spend the rest of your life serving the Lord as his child. Talk to your creator, read the bible and get to know his love for you. You have a mission to complete. You are created with a purpose. Be of Good cheer! ❤️
Charlotte what you’re sharing is helping for other people with BPD and also medical professionals. When you explained your treatment and walking out it’s understandable and I get it. Your reaction was feeling hard on yourself, something I do to but it was reasonable to be upset when you walked out.
The thing is that BPD will walk out cos it’s hard to face and stay. … The brave stuff is to come BACK, which it looks like C is doing here. We need to recognise a return to therapy even though it’s hard.
She would! Countertansference is milder in short term therapy so maybe she could specialise in STSFT or similar until she felt more comfortable. "Short term solution focused therapy". Or run DBT groups, where it's somewhat like a class and also there's another person there who keeps everyone grounded, including the therapist (that's one of the reasons why DBT groups have two therapists, because ML gets that humans are still humans even when they are therapists )
I was soooo excited to see another one of these and get an update on Charlotte. I can see so much of me in her. There are a lot of great therapists who have bpd. It can even be an advantage with the amount of empathy a lot of folks with bpd have and that is easily visible from Charlotte. She had me sobbing talking about how she doesn't understand why someone would want to be with her. I feel this about myself too and at the same time realize many reasons someone would want to be with her, she is so kind and self aware. At times, I think being so self aware can feel very daunting but its part of the process of getting better. Charlotte has helped me through these interviews and I know she’s going to help more people in the work she’s getting into.
Ive never been able to relate with ANYONE, in person or while I'm obsessively researching this life altering disorder more than i just did with Charlotte. I empathize so much, i felt like it was me sitting in that chair. Thank you Charlotte! I don't feel so alone in the world! We're very much kindred spirits!!❤
My name is Charlotte, I’ve been diagnosed with borderline and bipolar, they still can’t figure out which one it is. Watching these videos are hard to stomach because I relate a lot to Charlotte. I can hear myself in every single answer she gives, from the easiest of answers, struggling to answer, and feeling frustrated with not knowing how to answer. I hope her and I (and everyone) find peace ❤️
A new video from this channel is so appreciated. I run your playlists in my headphones while I clean my house lol. Charlotte is, as usual, my hero. I’d like to thank her for sitting down once more and giving us all another chance to feel so seen through her words and her life.
Thank you for creating these videos. One thing that I'm struck by in watching this is the undercurrent of control that seems to permeate the mind of someone with BPD or other personality disorders. Caveat: I was in a long term relationship with someone with either BPD or CPTSD. In order to avoid chaos, charlotte avoids relationships. In order to avoid being triggered, she wants to avoid becoming a therapist herself. In order to avoid anger, she maybe over boundaries her relationships. This need to control surroundings seems like a good short term coping skill, but it seems like it only isolates someone with BPD.
I learn so much about BPD from Charlotte, I only found out I had it 2 years ago and it was so eye opening to know why I did so many things over the years! I feel people don't understand how cruel and difficult life is having BPD! Every single morning I have to realign my mind back to reality and its hard but im definitely getting better and understaffing myself more each day
I clicked immediately when I saw a new interview with Charlotte!! Love hearing her speak and she provides so much insight. I hope she continues doing these interviews!
Charlotte's greatest strength is her vulnerability, which is probably true for many with BPD/ cPTSD. Charlotte is owning her story and that's where the healing takes place. As Brene Brown states, " You either own your story or it owns you."
So pleased to see this pop-up in my notification. I love hearing about Charlotte’s life I find her fascinating interesting and strong. Wish we had therapists like this in England. I could really have done with one thank you so much for making this and I hope there’s more
I was very pleased to see that you had updated a new video on Charlotte's history, which brilliantly and clearly exemplifies the many facets of BPD. What I really appreciate, as a viewer of your videos, is that these narrations of personal feelings and experiences give to the public a deep insight on the "borderline life", much more than some generic videos which talk about the disorder in an often decontextualized way do. You work is the proof that dialoguing on the complexities of our personal histories can bring us to a more comprehensive acknowledgement of the human being, and I really thank you for this.
What fine and kind praise - thank you for these words of encouragement and appreciation. We love the people we work with on this channel - they are remarkalbe and speak the complexities -to your point.
I am diagnosed PTSD & can see some of the overlap with BPD. I also had experience with narcissists, resulting in perfectionism & anxiety. Abuse affected me so profoundly, I didn't know what it was at the time, because I thought my life was going so well. That connfusion drove me to getting medical care that harmed me, so I'm disabled and definitely feel like a burden on others. I tend to avoid relationships and prefer groups now until I can feel less of a medical burden. I'm probably more avoidant now because of my disability and how people have exploited that vulnerability in me. I also have no family. They decided I fake or exaggerate my injuries & illness and lie about how disabing it is - and same about the abuse, so it's very hard. I never used to have trust issues until had two abusive relationships & no support from family with my health or medical care or post abuse. I always saw the good in people and myself until all these traumas. My main battle is less with myself than with identifying harmful people & the fear, flashbacks, anxiety, startling, stalking, pain and aversion. It seems PTSD is more an external battle and BPD Is more internal, but there is overlap. PTSD makes you feel so unsafe in the world and question how to cope. Thank you for sharing yourself as a type of case study, it's extremely well done and healing for others with any mental health struggle. I admire your openness to counteract the shame I feel as well with my own circumstances.
Wow, thanks for this sharing and support for Charlotte. We have some very good content comparing BPD and PTSD coming up; I hope it will be helpful as well! Best wishes to you. -P
@@BorderlinerNotes That's awesome!! I really love this channel. Charlotte is such a great subject to interview and a great sport! I'm so excited about content comparing BPD & PTSD. And Complex PTSD. I believe I have both types of PTSD. I know they say BPD starts with early trauma. Thank you for high quality videos, they are so genuine!!
@@BorderlinerNotesthis channel is a true treasure chest! I was just diagnosed with cPTSD and emotional instability and I must say I see myself so much in Charlotte. Had a quite similar family history. I was physically abused by my dad and emotionally neglected by my mom. I love my parents but I am so torn between healing and feeling guilty for judging my parents’ way of raising me. I’d love to see more content on cPTSD! Thank you so much for all of your effort and I hope Charlotte is much better right now! ❤
Both of them - phenomenal women. In a way they help each other and help others to understand how hard it can be living as a human being. I wish them well. Charlotte is truly beautiful at heart. God bless
Hi Charlotte. Sorry you are struggling with so much stuff. A lot of us out here are and can relate. I think almost all of this emotional turmoil and self-doubt and frustration comes from your childhood. That shit affects us so deeply. I have the same thing. I was diagnosed as borderline a long time ago and kind of gave up on therapy to be honest. I can't find a good therapist and a bad one is worse than nothing as you have touched on here with a couple of examples. Going into the room full of people and being asked about your sex life and other stuff was just abuse. Disgusting. You were totally justified in storming out. If you ever want to chat, I'm here. You've got so much going for you. Trust yourself. Take care.
it's so wonderful to hear from charlotte - there's absolutely no way our paths would have been able to cross geographically, but now that I've met her via these interviews, I'm so rooting for her. This word gets thrown around so much but charlotte, you're so brave for sharing your journey with us and you have a beautiful soul!
I appreciate Charlotte participating in these interviews so, SO much. My facial expression now looks very similar to hers here; could be what happens when you enter recovery, could be the medication, could be nothing at all.
Charlotte, if you read this, you are changing lives for the better through your insight and vulnerability. Your grit and resilience is beyond admirable. You are doing good. Also, you're not alone in your experience. You're different than most but you're not alone. That inner war is something many people don't experience. That intense push and pull when it comes to closer and closer relationships with others is so fucking chaotic and hard. That being said, and please know that I understand this comes off as 'easy for you to say', as much as the rageful parts may explode and do things unaligned with your values in the face of threat from others they are on your side at the deepest level. They are trying to protect you, and i get it, they can hurt others, and you dont like that. But they dont hurt others all the time! Only when you could be in danger! The rest of the time theyre busy scanning for danger without actually doing harm to others. And if they're not ready to trust others getting too close your choice to respect those parts's (i dont know if thats proper english) boundaries and not be with anyone is admirable. Like a mother who's children cannot stand having another step father in the house because all their experiences with dads and step dads were too hard for those kids and they cant trust yet or havent found someone trustworthy. Sometimes it's okay to accept your kids just can't handle the potential of another dangerous person in the house and have it be just you and those kids. And the other side, the the parts that are kind and want to be close to others and to help and be warm to others and are also part of you and have legitmate needs unlike the fears of the protective parts. And their frustrations with the parts that want to keep you safe and away from others is okay too. But you can love them too just like you can love the parts that push others away. As fucking brutal as the parts that push others away to protect you are, they are trying to help. If mom hated you but at the same time you needed mom they will get you to hate yourself to not disappoint mom. To be on her side. Because if your on her side maybe thats your best shot at being safe. Small cuts are safer than abandonment, which is death. Especially if dad in some instances showed concern about your well being when you were hurt. I don't know if any of that makes sense or comes off as hippy bullshit or is actually hippy bullshit. I just resonate with how you describe your experience and have struggled in what seems to me to be in similar ways. Regardless, you are a special human being that is bringing common humanity and empathy to personaility disorders in a world that's dismissive and unempathic towards the struggles of those who experience life like you do. Kudos to you and please keep the world posted on where life takes you next.
Dear Charlotte, thanks a lot for having the courage to be so open about yourself, there is nothing wrong with you, you are a strong human being that is facing her reality with integrity and humbleness (two very rare qualities that you can add to your list and don't forget your courage) 💕. I have identified so much with you. Thank you. And obviously big thanks to Dr. Diamond for her care, compassion and professional approach.
Uhhhhh... .yes. There is definitely something wrong. If you think for 1 second there isn't, you haven't experienced a borderline personality. You're not getting most of this disorder in the video here.
I absolutely loved watching this, the therapist’s kindness and thoughtfulness seemed so appreciated by Charlotte. Thank you for boosting my good will levels today!! 🥰
Charlotte is such a poised, articulate woman. Her insight has real depth. It was a pleasure to see her work with Dr. Diamond. My sense is that Charlotte is the kind of person who would do extremely well with a group therapy setting to gradually practice some of the relationship skills she and Dr. Diamond flagged in a safe, supportive environment. Group is a life lab. Having positive proof of her ability to surmount challenges and grow from interactions - on her own schedule as is appropriate and complementary to her professional demands - would help her see the many excellent qualities she very clearly has. Charlotte - if you’re reading, I’m rooting for you. You can do this.
What was fascinating was to hear about the countertransference Charlotte experienced related to Dr. Diamond’s colleagues who had previously treated her. She was self aware and had a clear understanding of why those interactions felt threatening. Dr. Diamond responded beautifully. Asking permission to ask questions, giving Charlotte a voice and implicitly emphasizing the importance of her consent - masterful. That’s empathy in action.
7 minutes in, Charlotte comes across as very tense, anxious ( as she claims) and almost as if she's listening to Dr. Diamond only waiting to speak. Instead of listening to hear....interesting....look forward to watching the rest later today. Thank you for adding more content to my favorite BPD info channel. I love all the providers you've shared with us. They're the top tier in working on this mental health challenge. 🙏🏼
Charlotte I can identify with you so much. If you’re reading this you’re a beautiful, intelligent, deep and empathetic person. You deserve all of the love and I hope you can allow yourself to have it one day. I also have BPD, so I understand how hard it is to see what other people see in us. I hope you’re well, take care of yourself ♥️.
This timing is perfect. I was thinking of Charlotte and how she was doing a few days ago. Thank you for vulnerability! - you’ve helped a lot of people feel understood
Charlotte has the bubbly energy , she got some serious sense of dressing style (I totally love it ) and this is a bold move from her to help others , that aligns with what she wants to do with her social work. BPD is a lot of work , and she is making good progress especially by acknowleding her symptoms
I have sensory processing sensitivity, and social anxiety. I sense that she has social anxiety as well. I can relate to her anger/rage. Being a kind and empathetic person can cause that rage when the world or people you love don’t see you for who you really are. Growing up or otherwise. There have been times were I thought I had borderline because of my rage. But I don’t align with the other symptoms. From the trauma of my childhood, it make sense that I would have that anger. Especially because you suppress it when you are a empathetic person. I wish her the best ❤
I feel her pain,its so hard to be productive when you dont trust yourself,i have destroyed so many great career opportunities this world has given me.I have zero filter and ive lived many years of my life telling myself "im just being honest" but its not honesty its toxic..Good luck Charlotte great to see you getting to see these great people speaking to you, i always watch what is uploaded on this channel
Yep. My borderline jumped on me while I was sitting quietly on the couch and started waling on me. Later when I pointed 👉 it out, she said she was trying to "help" me. They always say it's everybody but them. The whole world is wrong, and they're right , no matter what they do. See Aileen Wournos for reference.
Thanks to Charlotte for putting herself out there. Her interviews have helped me a lot. I'm also at the point that I'm content to not have romantic relationships again because of how I am and all the reasons Charlotte gave. It's given me peace.
I have learned SO much from Charlotte as a mental health provider and am SO in awe of how she approaches engagement with her treatment with openness, vulnerability, and care for others with BPD. I don't know if she will see this, but Charlotte, if you do, thank you, and I am so glad you are continuing to share your story with us to spread awareness and humanize BPD.
Also, welcome to the field (if you read this)! I know you don't know me but I am a strong believer that being a helper (micro work) NEEDS people of ALL diagnoses in the field because that allows for more multi-faceted care! Of course, this does not mean cause harm but I think our experiences make us better helpers in the field. The fact you are already considering ethics shows me that you will be careful/mindful and set yourself up in ways that you won't let harm come because of you to the people you help!
Thank you for all the work you put into these interviews. I have watched many and Charlotte's story has been so compelling. She is articulate, incredibly self-aware, thoughtful, kind and very generous to have opened herself up to having these very personal interviews published so that others may learn and perhaps grow from her experiences. May she continue on her road of recovery and be rewarded with love and happiness. May you be well, Charlotte.
Charlotte, if you are reading these comments, thank you so much for being open and for providing your perspective in these interviews. They have helped me learn about myself and understand myself and my own pain and struggles. I see in you the pain you feel. I see someone who deserves so much love and I’m rooting for you and sending love to you. I too would have walked out of a situation like you described. I think you perceived that your boundaries were violated and you stood up for yourself in that moment. You were protecting yourself and I don’t think it was immature. ❤️
I agree with everything in this comment. I'm appalled that any clinician would think it appropriate to interview a fragile patient they'd just met with a room full of observers *regardless* of whether they got "consent" ahead of time. People with mental illness are not bugs to be pinned to a board! Leaving such a disrespectful situation sounds like a totally appropriate and HEALTHY enforcement of boundaries. I also 100% agree she deserves love!
Charlotte, you're highly intelligent! You look like you could be an actress. You have such a face for it, and your mannerisms and personality are really actually intriguing! You keep our attention. You're very interesting to watch and clearly you have a lot of fans. You're awesome!
So glad to see another one of the experts sit with Charlotte, and as always, so grateful to Charlotte for her vulnerability and openness. Also...can *my* therapy please be in this garden oasis with pretty chairs?
Trying to find a way out of where I've got to and searching out therapy/ BPD stuff to try to find answers/ ideas. I have a long history of mental health problems. Depression, anxiety and BPD. I also have food problems, my main coping strategy is using food. Binge eating disorder. I'm diabetic and have high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Things have been difficult the last year. My dad died in April, after about 10 months of being diagnosed with bowel cancer. my mum had to go into a care home/ hospital as she has dementia and can't look after herself. At the same time I ended a 3 year relationship as my ex is an alcoholic. The relationship had been the first one I've ever been in even though I'm middle aged. She also has BPD and other mental health problems. I knew she was an alcoholic but she'd said she was in recovery. It became clear she wasn't sober, she kept saying her drinking was a one off she wouldn't do it again but it always did As it was my first relationship it was all unknown and quite difficult and I desperately wanted to make it work. We meet in DBT and I was very attracted to her the whole time. With my dad dying and my mum's health getting so bad I couldn't cope any more with my ex's drinking and I ended the relationship. My mum's health is slowly determinating and it's heartbreaking to see her. There's been so much loss and loneliness in my life recently but it's also a long term problem. I've never had many friends and that's still a massive problem. I do q little bit of voluntary work but have been struggling to keep that going. I don't feel safe going out doors and just want to stay in doors all the time. I live in my bedroom most of the time and my two cats sit with me and I wish I could become a cat or they would become human and we could just be here together. My main bad core belief about myself has always been that I'm not good enough for anyone to love me or want to be with me and that seems to have been reinforced through the relationship with my ex. I can't see how anyone would be attracted to me as I'm morbidly obese. I can't stop binge eating. I've got arthritis in my knees and can't move around very well. I seem to have used all the mental health services available on the NHS (I'm in the UK) and can't afford private health care so don't know what to do. I find this channel a while ago and find it so interesting and informative with people's stories. Thank you to the channel and to Charlotte for this video. It's very brave to be so open and allow this to be broadcast. Best wishes Charlotte for your recovery and I hope you and all fellow BPD strugglers find the elusive "life worth living"
Love this therapist. She listens and is present. She slows the conversation down so that these two can really engage. She starts the session off right by asking Charlotte to describe herself, and not letting her escape the question.
Charlotte fan, here! I am on my own journey to learn to love and value myself and to stop being a people pleaser and to stop sabotaging relationships out of fear of abandonment, so I very much relate and appreciate Charlotte for doing this. I find myself wanting to tell her that she is someone I would love to be friends with and listing all of her qualities that are attractive. She’s thoughtful, intelligent, witty, self-aware, honest, humble, vulnerable, genuine, stylish, well spoken, and just adorable. She reminds me of Meg Ryan. And this, I am realizing, is also how i should look at myself. As a friend. I hope Charlotte can watch these back and see all of the wonderful qualities in herself that we can. I know that if I can view myself through the same lens, I will feel a lot more secure in my own relationships. Thanks Charlotte!
adding to the chorus but charlotte, thank you for being so incredibly vulnerable to the world. this is no easy feat. i commend you so so much. all the best to you, may you find healing on your journey ❤
I’m trying to research all bpd content because I was just diagnosed recently and I’m trying to figure myself out more. Content like this is great for me. This video is VERY humanizing. We have emotion instability but we are kind, sympathetic, compassionate. I have high empathy for others and I think my bpd heightens my care for others and their wellbeing. I’ve been sick of seeing bpd demonized. Thank you
@@lespritdelescalier4858 No. CPTSD is similar but also has differences my therapist and I covered. i understand you’re probably being kind with that question but I have bpd and it’s not a misdiagnosis.
THANK YOU DEAR CHARLOTTE FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND YOUR VULNERABILITY IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. BLESSINGS OF LOVE AND LIGHT BE WITH YOU ALWAYS..
Highlighting the grief and loss of the father is so important here. I'm curious if this is playing a factor in the abandonment wounds/fears? My understanding is that abandonment feelings can arise in grief. This makes sense as well that it is patterned most in romantic relationships. I'm curious if she has been given space to grieve the loss of her father...? Beautiful video. Thank you both for your participation and bravery.
Thank you very much! Charlotte, you seem to be an amazing and kind person. Talking about your struggles is such a brave thing to do and I think you are helping others so much by doing so. I am sending you much love and strength! Keep fighting, you are getting there! There is hope! Things can get better!
You are not getting a borderline here. You are getting people exchanging niceties. A borderline can be absolutely merciless and will be. You just have to be with them just a little bit longer than this, and they release the Kraken on you. no, you have never dealt with one. but that therapist knows. They cut off after a certain time limit with borderline. And you pay a big price
Charlotte is one of the bravest women i have seen in such a vulnerable situation. As a clinician it was hard to watch as this interview was so austere and impersonal almost. I do understand the intent and how many can learn, but my heart was hurting for her. I wanted to jump through my screen and wrap my arms around her ❤😢
Thank-you Charlotte for participating in these sessions. I love listening to you. I thank-you for your incredible vulnerability. You are so brave. You are helping me and so many others who want to have a deeper understanding of themselves. Thank-you too to the therapists involved. For providing the opportunity for me as an ‘outsider’, through your questions, your intellectual and empathetic understanding, the guidance to navigate my own emotional issues. I come away from these sessions with so much food for thought, so much constructive instruction to work from. I too was super excited to see a new session…❤️
Charlotte, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm borderline as well and for some reason watching these videos soothe me and make me feel not so alone. I remember during one of your other sessions when you described how you felt with your mother the word you used was trapped. It's the exact word I used in my sessions to describe how I felt with my abusive mother. I shed a tear that day, for both of us. Guys, we can get better. Let's keep our heads up and keep moving forward.
I love that Charlotte is going to school so she can learn to help others . . . she will come from a place of pain herself, and be able to reach some who others may not otherwise.
This is amazing and so helpful for those that cannot find reliable and accurate information about bpd. Thank you for sharing! Charlotte, I love you, your bravery and vulnerability is proof of how far you have come, you are truly inspiring me during my own recovery process, so thank you!
Awe, it makes me sad that Charlotte doesn’t realize how lovable she is. I see so many lovable qualities in her!! She’s clearly intelligent so I think it would be so interesting to have conversations with her! And she’s funny! And she’s a kind and empathetic person. And she’s self-reflective and thoughtful. Those qualities are so very important for loving relationships! And she’s trying to better herself, going to counseling and attending school! And she’s courageous to face all the struggles she’s endured! And she’s helping other people by doing these interviews which shows how much she cares. Not everyone has all those wonderful traits but she does! And she’s pretty on top of all that! Charlotte has more than enough to offer a relationship. If she was my daughter, I’d be so proud of her! I adore her and wish her all the best. 💕
Charlotte I know you’re reading these comments - you are so beautiful and cute - so sorry this disease has done so much to hurt you. I have it too and everything you said is true - especially about isolation for fear of hurting others - but please PLEASE fight that inner critic! I listen to Daniel Fox - he’s great.
This is incredible. I'd love to see more. This is so valuable. Wow. Thank you Charlotte. You're truly beautiful, with a light up a room smile. But more importantly you are doing good work you are living an exquisite, examined life. When you said that you couldn't imagine how anyone could want to be with you I cried. And thank you to Borderliner Notes team of course. Thank you, Rebbie. You are amazing and doing incredibly valuable work. This channel is just.... ahh. There's nothing like it. Thank you thank you.
Charlotte is a beautiful and courageous human being, with so much sensitivity awareness, and the drive to become her best self. I think she's amazing and I hope she understands her incredible value very soon. The doctors working with her are also impressive. Thank you for sharing this insightful and inspiring series 💖
As someone with borderline personality disorder, I really appreciate this woman. Showing her full, awkwardly authentic self. It's hard to accept sometimes while still not over identifying with it. I feel seen and I'm rooting for her. 💚
I’m so glad to see Charlotte again. I often wonder how she’s doing. Her past interviews really stuck with me. There’s something so sweet, intelligent and funny about her. She really doesn’t give herself enough credit as to how interesting she is & what an endearing personality she has. I truly wish her the best.
Thank you for these videos so much. I am 23 with BPD, and struggling greatly, these videos really aid me in understanding BPD, myself, others, and coping.
charlotte!! always rooting for her. love that she is so open to doing these interviews for us to watch.
Thank you! She loves being able to help others by sharing some of herself. She's a magical person! -P
I was going to say the same thing. I'm rooting for her, too!
Very courageous of her. This bodes well for a brighter future for her.
I thought she was a actor
@@BorderlinerNotes Dear community, I guess my question to you is fitting for this comment: how to handle borderline stigma and diagnosis? As you said Charlotte is willing to help others, I was wondering if it could be a good topic and worth a discussion: Is it good being open about a diagnosis or could it be more helpful to keep it private? Especially at work place/ field, among friends and family. Oftentimes therapists give the advice not to disclose such matters, it could affect the progression or have adverse effects in future.
To anyone who feels the same as her; “why would anyone want to be with me,” we want to be with you because you deserve love and we understand you well enough to be patient for you; as long as you always bring this vulnerability and honesty and meet us half way.
I agree but feel something is missing here: I think it's important for us and for people with Charlotte's capacity and also strong tendency to hurt people to acknowledge that many healthy people WILL leave someone who is causing them too much harm. Nobody should make false promises to someone with BPD. That said, hopefully we can all understand that that isn't because they have BPD! BPD happens to be one of the most potent ways of hurting people, but it is not the only way, of course. To minimize total abandonment, more loved ones of people with BPD should stand firm that they will not, under any circumstances, physically or over the phone or by reading texts or emails stay and take BPD abuse. If someone refuses to be abused, it literally makes the person with BPD less abusive! But you can always give the BPD person another chance: you leave as fast as possible if they start hurling abuse, but the concern stays, and if it's safe, you come back to see how the person is doing and forgive and carry on. Non-BPD people should take responsibility, and not let BPD people convince them that damage control is abandonment! If the BPD person screams that you can't leave, that's you're breaking them, play the long game, for both of your sakes: be the first to leave, but also be the one to come back. Learn that always being there for someone doesn't mean you have to take their abuse! Too many people enable BPD rage.
I have BPD, and it’s a hellish way to live. I’ve done DBT and CBT, and I’m better, but relationships are still hard. I see my younger self so much in Charlotte. I hope she can find happiness someday.
Wishing u well! Check out Dr Daniel Fox! Excellent helpful videos and very empathetic person! Also his comment section is great!
He's got a work book on BPD therapy as well.
Again, wishing u well!
Maybe best to be on you’re own and navigate relationships from that perspective for a while ?
Did CBT help xx
She is very intense, very self-monitoring, paranoid and full of pain. I am sorry to hear about her struggle. It's very visible how she has this painful self inside that wants to express unexpressed pain, but she (partly) controls that expression. But it constantly spills, even in this interview. It's like, "WTF have I done wrong again??" and then she reacts like she was accused of something and she needs to self-protect again, her adrenaline goes up. I can imagine that she spends about 1000 calories a day on self-monitoring only and adjusting behaviours appropriately, but she doesn't have it fully under control. The "painful self" wants to express itself anytime it can, even in inappropriate situations. It wants others to know about its tremendous pain. Because it was never heard, it never settled. Obviously, even the interviewer here was caught off-guard by some of her reactions, and she had to devise something to save the situation. Please, my comment is not to offend anyone. I've been looking into psychology for over a decade, and I am fascinated by the human brain, so I am just commenting on what I see and perceive. I can be a bit blunt, but in reality, I feel deeply sorry for all people who struggle with mental problems and personality disorders.
Yes I don’t think it’s offensive. I also noticed those exact moments and interpreted them the same way you did. But then again I also have BPD so it was like watching myself. Lots of compassion for her ❤
Same I was experiencing the same fear as well just watching her the anger the shorten adjustment period she’s able to think on her feet of course but she’s probably never been loved properly and it’s hard for her to deal with it the interviewer also shows slight apprehension especially with the feign smile in the beginning to show sympathetic support to the bpd patient
Charlotte also takes on an extraordinary amount of responsibility for the communication success in this interview. Not characteristic for a pWBPD. I think this is special and should be acknowledged.
I like how you described that because I can relate to her so much, I also carry a ton of pain inside and find it easier to get through life alone with my pets and daughter and cut myself off from the outside world. I can use my energy toward creative projects, fixing up my home and farm, working in garden, camping, beach trips, skiing, hiking...all therapeutic and healing. Relationships were draining my energy cause all the men in my life were covert narcissists. When I feel lonely I redirect my thoughts to my blessings and give thanks that I survived and accomplished many things along the way. It may not be my destiny to find a loving relationship, maybe I need to learn to love myself and be happy and content alone.
@@ylana4444yes. It is actually common.
Mad respect, takes a lot of balls to do this! Very admirable.
Amen. -P
Ive seen Charlotte’s past interviews, looking forward to an update on how shes doing ❤
Awww what an amazing therapist.
@@ilmari23 same would love to hear about her progress
Every borderline: you're strong, you're amazing and we do learn new coping skills and we do have success ❤️ Charlotte is paving the way for us
I second that!
The way she is able to foresee an ‘explosion’ and accept the reality of it, is what struck me the most. Having a parent with BPD, I am aware at how that recognition alone speaks volumes about her own progress. It just reaffirms how important therapy is for us all.
To hear Charlotte describe her experiences is heartbreaking actually. Father passed away, estranged from her mother, and intensely lonely. It’s incredibly brave what she’s doing and I know it’s helping others.
I can empathise with her as also having no parents for the same reason and no support network can be a huge challenge in maintaining a good mental health
It may be the BPD in me, but please let Charlotte know that I can see and appreciate the beautiful light that she truly is. ✨️
BPD is not your personality
@@EchelonPandoraborderline…..personality….disorder….. one of those words is personality, bud.
Charlotte, if you are worried you are like your mother, then stop being like her by punishing yourself. The greatest rebellion you can commit against your mother is to learn how to love yourself, and then to do it, unabashedly. When you would dig your nails into your skin when your mother was abusive, that was mirroring behavior. It's hard to learn to love, but I believe in you. Thank you for sharing your story; you're helping people more than you'll ever know. A beautiful act of love for total strangers; you're better than you know, one day I hope you do.
I feel like inner child healing through IFS would give her the tools for her to extend that compassion towards herself and heal
I can identify so much with Charlotte. If you see this, you are not alone, and we all thank you for helping all of us feel seen and understood. You're so important. Your voice matters.
She's so brave and I felt deeply for her, I saw myself in her. I've been alone now 6 years, my last relationship with my daughters father was so bad. don't think I can ever date or trust again. At 51 now I see the patterns and still learning about Personality disorders. Trying to heal my life after a childhood filled with terrible violent abuse. Had to cut contact with my entire family and toxic friends. Not sure who I am and where I'm going in life but I feel more stable alone than in a relationship. They have all been so abusive to me, can't believe that's how my life played out. I need a different ending.
You are a very brave soul. You have been through a lot. Suffering is not something that is avoidable, each person has his/her own cross. You don't have to feel lonely, over powered by the people who took advantage of you, you can spend the rest of your life serving the Lord as his child. Talk to your creator, read the bible and get to know his love for you. You have a mission to complete. You are created with a purpose. Be of Good cheer! ❤️
Charlotte what you’re sharing is helping for other people with BPD and also medical professionals. When you explained your treatment and walking out it’s understandable and I get it. Your reaction was feeling hard on yourself, something I do to but it was reasonable to be upset when you walked out.
The thing is that BPD will walk out cos it’s hard to face and stay. … The brave stuff is to come BACK, which it looks like C is doing here. We need to recognise a return to therapy even though it’s hard.
@@MellowBellow1 Very good point! 💕
Love Charlotte! I'd argue that because she's so sensitive and humble, she'd make a great therapist.
She's so supportive and positive
@@BorderlinerNotes So cool.
Exactly. More empathetic than each ones
She would! Countertansference is milder in short term therapy so maybe she could specialise in STSFT or similar until she felt more comfortable. "Short term solution focused therapy". Or run DBT groups, where it's somewhat like a class and also there's another person there who keeps everyone grounded, including the therapist (that's one of the reasons why DBT groups have two therapists, because ML gets that humans are still humans even when they are therapists )
Charlotte seems so fragile and self aware. What a beautiful soul.
I was soooo excited to see another one of these and get an update on Charlotte. I can see so much of me in her. There are a lot of great therapists who have bpd. It can even be an advantage with the amount of empathy a lot of folks with bpd have and that is easily visible from Charlotte. She had me sobbing talking about how she doesn't understand why someone would want to be with her. I feel this about myself too and at the same time realize many reasons someone would want to be with her, she is so kind and self aware. At times, I think being so self aware can feel very daunting but its part of the process of getting better. Charlotte has helped me through these interviews and I know she’s going to help more people in the work she’s getting into.
I cried too at the same spot in the interview. Feeling so grateful to Charlotte for voicing all this and enabling others to hear it
Ive never been able to relate with ANYONE, in person or while I'm obsessively researching this life altering disorder more than i just did with Charlotte. I empathize so much, i felt like it was me sitting in that chair. Thank you Charlotte! I don't feel so alone in the world! We're very much kindred spirits!!❤
As a fellow Charlotte with Bpd, I am very invested in her journey
Another fellow Charlotte with bpd! ❤️
CHARLOTTE ,wow ! So brave,so,lovely,so intelligent,great to see her again.
My name is Charlotte, I’ve been diagnosed with borderline and bipolar, they still can’t figure out which one it is. Watching these videos are hard to stomach because I relate a lot to Charlotte. I can hear myself in every single answer she gives, from the easiest of answers, struggling to answer, and feeling frustrated with not knowing how to answer. I hope her and I (and everyone) find peace ❤️
Love this, thank you! Wishing you well. -P
She is very raw and emotional and honest. She is a beautiful human. I teared up watching this.
Charlotte thank you for sharing parts of yourself
A new video from this channel is so appreciated. I run your playlists in my headphones while I clean my house lol. Charlotte is, as usual, my hero. I’d like to thank her for sitting down once more and giving us all another chance to feel so seen through her words and her life.
SAAAAAAME!
Thank you for creating these videos. One thing that I'm struck by in watching this is the undercurrent of control that seems to permeate the mind of someone with BPD or other personality disorders. Caveat: I was in a long term relationship with someone with either BPD or CPTSD. In order to avoid chaos, charlotte avoids relationships. In order to avoid being triggered, she wants to avoid becoming a therapist herself. In order to avoid anger, she maybe over boundaries her relationships. This need to control surroundings seems like a good short term coping skill, but it seems like it only isolates someone with BPD.
I learn so much about BPD from Charlotte, I only found out I had it 2 years ago and it was so eye opening to know why I did so many things over the years! I feel people don't understand how cruel and difficult life is having BPD! Every single morning I have to realign my mind back to reality and its hard but im definitely getting better and understaffing myself more each day
Charlotte, you can make a 100% recovery and could make an amazing therapist, deeply help others struggling with the same pathology!
I clicked immediately when I saw a new interview with Charlotte!! Love hearing her speak and she provides so much insight. I hope she continues doing these interviews!
Charlotte's greatest strength is her vulnerability, which is probably true for many with BPD/ cPTSD. Charlotte is owning her story and that's where the healing takes place. As Brene Brown states, " You either own your story or it owns you."
So pleased to see this pop-up in my notification. I love hearing about Charlotte’s life I find her fascinating interesting and strong. Wish we had therapists like this in England. I could really have done with one thank you so much for making this and I hope there’s more
Thank you for this, and for being here. We will try to keep it coming :). -P
@@BorderlinerNotes thank you for your reply. It really does mean a lot
I was very pleased to see that you had updated a new video on Charlotte's history, which brilliantly and clearly exemplifies the many facets of BPD. What I really appreciate, as a viewer of your videos, is that these narrations of personal feelings and experiences give to the public a deep insight on the "borderline life", much more than some generic videos which talk about the disorder in an often decontextualized way do. You work is the proof that dialoguing on the complexities of our personal histories can bring us to a more comprehensive acknowledgement of the human being, and I really thank you for this.
What fine and kind praise - thank you for these words of encouragement and appreciation. We love the people we work with on this channel - they are remarkalbe and speak the complexities -to your point.
@@BorderlinerNotes Yes, I agree 😉
Wish I could give u 100 likes!
A more comprehensive acknowledgement of the human being - how excellent expressed!
@@JDforeveralone Thank you, it is what I think 😊... I have read your comment about Dr. Fox, I agree with you!
you don't realize you will can not change your perfect essence-thats what people see in you. You are doing great-rock on Charlotte
I am diagnosed PTSD & can see some of the overlap with BPD. I also had experience with narcissists, resulting in perfectionism & anxiety. Abuse affected me so profoundly, I didn't know what it was at the time, because I thought my life was going so well. That connfusion drove me to getting medical care that harmed me, so I'm disabled and definitely feel like a burden on others. I tend to avoid relationships and prefer groups now until I can feel less of a medical burden.
I'm probably more avoidant now because of my disability and how people have exploited that vulnerability in me.
I also have no family. They decided I fake or exaggerate my injuries & illness and lie about how disabing it is - and same about the abuse, so it's very hard.
I never used to have trust issues until had two abusive relationships & no support from family with my health or medical care or post abuse. I always saw the good in people and myself until all these traumas.
My main battle is less with myself than with identifying harmful people & the fear, flashbacks, anxiety, startling, stalking, pain and aversion. It seems PTSD is more an external battle and BPD Is more internal, but there is overlap. PTSD makes you feel so unsafe in the world and question how to cope.
Thank you for sharing yourself as a type of case study, it's extremely well done and healing for others with any mental health struggle. I admire your openness to counteract the shame I feel as well with my own circumstances.
Wow, thanks for this sharing and support for Charlotte. We have some very good content comparing BPD and PTSD coming up; I hope it will be helpful as well! Best wishes to you. -P
@@BorderlinerNotes That's awesome!! I really love this channel. Charlotte is such a great subject to interview and a great sport! I'm so excited about content comparing BPD & PTSD. And Complex PTSD. I believe I have both types of PTSD. I know they say BPD starts with early trauma. Thank you for high quality videos, they are so genuine!!
@@BorderlinerNotesthis channel is a true treasure chest! I was just diagnosed with cPTSD and emotional instability and I must say I see myself so much in Charlotte. Had a quite similar family history. I was physically abused by my dad and emotionally neglected by my mom. I love my parents but I am so torn between healing and feeling guilty for judging my parents’ way of raising me. I’d love to see more content on cPTSD! Thank you so much for all of your effort and I hope Charlotte is much better right now! ❤
@@StefanieSchliephorst same with CPTSD, it’s a very real thing to struggle with and relationships are very hard. You’re not alone.
Loved it as a whole. What I would give to have a session with Dr. Diamond.....Charlotte is blessed to have these opportunities!
Really identify with "maintaining my equilibrium by not being in relationships"
Absolutely!! Relationships can be the bane of our existence!
Especially given our proclivity to team up with NPD😮
Same here
Both of them - phenomenal women. In a way they help each other and help others to understand how hard it can be living as a human being. I wish them well. Charlotte is truly beautiful at heart. God bless
Hi Charlotte. Sorry you are struggling with so much stuff. A lot of us out here are and can relate. I think almost all of this emotional turmoil and self-doubt and frustration comes from your childhood. That shit affects us so deeply. I have the same thing. I was diagnosed as borderline a long time ago and kind of gave up on therapy to be honest. I can't find a good therapist and a bad one is worse than nothing as you have touched on here with a couple of examples. Going into the room full of people and being asked about your sex life and other stuff was just abuse. Disgusting. You were totally justified in storming out. If you ever want to chat, I'm here. You've got so much going for you. Trust yourself. Take care.
the doctor is so appealing and makes her feel welcome.
it's so wonderful to hear from charlotte - there's absolutely no way our paths would have been able to cross geographically, but now that I've met her via these interviews, I'm so rooting for her. This word gets thrown around so much but charlotte, you're so brave for sharing your journey with us and you have a beautiful soul!
I appreciate Charlotte participating in these interviews so, SO much. My facial expression now looks very similar to hers here; could be what happens when you enter recovery, could be the medication, could be nothing at all.
What a privilege having therapy with Diana. She seems to be a very gifted psychologist. Really like her lectures and style of communicating things.
Charlotte, if you read this, you are changing lives for the better through your insight and vulnerability. Your grit and resilience is beyond admirable. You are doing good. Also, you're not alone in your experience. You're different than most but you're not alone. That inner war is something many people don't experience. That intense push and pull when it comes to closer and closer relationships with others is so fucking chaotic and hard. That being said, and please know that I understand this comes off as 'easy for you to say', as much as the rageful parts may explode and do things unaligned with your values in the face of threat from others they are on your side at the deepest level. They are trying to protect you, and i get it, they can hurt others, and you dont like that. But they dont hurt others all the time! Only when you could be in danger! The rest of the time theyre busy scanning for danger without actually doing harm to others. And if they're not ready to trust others getting too close your choice to respect those parts's (i dont know if thats proper english) boundaries and not be with anyone is admirable. Like a mother who's children cannot stand having another step father in the house because all their experiences with dads and step dads were too hard for those kids and they cant trust yet or havent found someone trustworthy. Sometimes it's okay to accept your kids just can't handle the potential of another dangerous person in the house and have it be just you and those kids. And the other side, the the parts that are kind and want to be close to others and to help and be warm to others and are also part of you and have legitmate needs unlike the fears of the protective parts. And their frustrations with the parts that want to keep you safe and away from others is okay too. But you can love them too just like you can love the parts that push others away. As fucking brutal as the parts that push others away to protect you are, they are trying to help. If mom hated you but at the same time you needed mom they will get you to hate yourself to not disappoint mom. To be on her side. Because if your on her side maybe thats your best shot at being safe. Small cuts are safer than abandonment, which is death. Especially if dad in some instances showed concern about your well being when you were hurt. I don't know if any of that makes sense or comes off as hippy bullshit or is actually hippy bullshit. I just resonate with how you describe your experience and have struggled in what seems to me to be in similar ways. Regardless, you are a special human being that is bringing common humanity and empathy to personaility disorders in a world that's dismissive and unempathic towards the struggles of those who experience life like you do. Kudos to you and please keep the world posted on where life takes you next.
This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen
Thank you for saying this; very happy to hear it. -P
Dear Charlotte, thanks a lot for having the courage to be so open about yourself, there is nothing wrong with you, you are a strong human being that is facing her reality with integrity and humbleness (two very rare qualities that you can add to your list and don't forget your courage) 💕. I have identified so much with you. Thank you. And obviously big thanks to Dr. Diamond for her care, compassion and professional approach.
Uhhhhh... .yes. There is definitely something wrong. If you think for 1 second there isn't, you haven't experienced a borderline personality. You're not getting most of this disorder in the video here.
I absolutely loved watching this, the therapist’s kindness and thoughtfulness seemed so appreciated by Charlotte. Thank you for boosting my good will levels today!! 🥰
Thanks for the positivity! -P
I love this! Thank you for sharing. Thank you Charlotte for being so open. Dr. Diamond is also amazing.
Charlotte is such a poised, articulate woman. Her insight has real depth. It was a pleasure to see her work with Dr. Diamond.
My sense is that Charlotte is the kind of person who would do extremely well with a group therapy setting to gradually practice some of the relationship skills she and Dr. Diamond flagged in a safe, supportive environment. Group is a life lab.
Having positive proof of her ability to surmount challenges and grow from interactions - on her own schedule as is appropriate and complementary to her professional demands - would help her see the many excellent qualities she very clearly has.
Charlotte - if you’re reading, I’m rooting for you. You can do this.
What was fascinating was to hear about the countertransference Charlotte experienced related to Dr. Diamond’s colleagues who had previously treated her. She was self aware and had a clear understanding of why those interactions felt threatening.
Dr. Diamond responded beautifully. Asking permission to ask questions, giving Charlotte a voice and implicitly emphasizing the importance of her consent - masterful. That’s empathy in action.
7 minutes in, Charlotte comes across as very tense, anxious ( as she claims) and almost as if she's listening to Dr. Diamond only waiting to speak. Instead of listening to hear....interesting....look forward to watching the rest later today. Thank you for adding more content to my favorite BPD info channel. I love all the providers you've shared with us. They're the top tier in working on this mental health challenge. 🙏🏼
Hey there, thanks for the comment. Curious to hear your thoughts when you've had a chance to watch the rest! -P
Charlotte I can identify with you so much. If you’re reading this you’re a beautiful, intelligent, deep and empathetic person. You deserve all of the love and I hope you can allow yourself to have it one day. I also have BPD, so I understand how hard it is to see what other people see in us. I hope you’re well, take care of yourself ♥️.
Thanks for the support for Charlotte! -P
This timing is perfect. I was thinking of Charlotte and how she was doing a few days ago.
Thank you for vulnerability! - you’ve helped a lot of people feel understood
Charlotte has the bubbly energy , she got some serious sense of dressing style (I totally love it ) and this is a bold move from her to help others , that aligns with what she wants to do with her social work. BPD is a lot of work , and she is making good progress especially by acknowleding her symptoms
So happy to see this channel coming back! Great content again ❤
Thank you! Sorry for the long hiatus. -P
I’m so proud of her♥️she’s come such a long way. She gives me hope✨♥️
Congratulations to Charlotte and her social work journey!
Always so good to hear from Charlotte. She is an incredible mental health advocate. I admire her honesty and integrity. I respect her.
I have sensory processing sensitivity, and social anxiety. I sense that she has social anxiety as well. I can relate to her anger/rage. Being a kind and empathetic person can cause that rage when the world or people you love don’t see you for who you really are. Growing up or otherwise. There have been times were I thought I had borderline because of my rage. But I don’t align with the other symptoms. From the trauma of my childhood, it make sense that I would have that anger. Especially because you suppress it when you are a empathetic person. I wish her the best ❤
autism in women is frequently misdiagnosed as bpd
I feel her pain,its so hard to be productive when you dont trust yourself,i have destroyed so many great career opportunities this world has given me.I have zero filter and ive lived many years of my life telling myself "im just being honest" but its not honesty its toxic..Good luck Charlotte great to see you getting to see these great people speaking to you, i always watch what is uploaded on this channel
Yep. My borderline jumped on me while I was sitting quietly on the couch and started waling on me. Later when I pointed 👉 it out, she said she was trying to "help" me. They always say it's everybody but them. The whole world is wrong, and they're right , no matter what they do. See Aileen Wournos for reference.
This was a very, very good video. I felt sad when Charlotte started to cry.
Thanks to Charlotte for putting herself out there. Her interviews have helped me a lot. I'm also at the point that I'm content to not have romantic relationships again because of how I am and all the reasons Charlotte gave. It's given me peace.
It's so good to see Charlotte. She is brilliant and I wish her the best in her social work career and with her health.
Yay 🎉 🎉 it should be a holiday 🎉🎉 new content up on Borderliner Notes 🎉 Channels like yours are why youtube is so valuable ❤
Have I mentioned we love you? Thanks for being here, as always! -P
Also, Charlotte working with kids makes so much sense to me
@@BorderlinerNotes 💗💗🎉🎉💗💗🌺🌺🌟🌟😁😁🥰🥰
I have learned SO much from Charlotte as a mental health provider and am SO in awe of how she approaches engagement with her treatment with openness, vulnerability, and care for others with BPD. I don't know if she will see this, but Charlotte, if you do, thank you, and I am so glad you are continuing to share your story with us to spread awareness and humanize BPD.
Also, welcome to the field (if you read this)! I know you don't know me but I am a strong believer that being a helper (micro work) NEEDS people of ALL diagnoses in the field because that allows for more multi-faceted care! Of course, this does not mean cause harm but I think our experiences make us better helpers in the field. The fact you are already considering ethics shows me that you will be careful/mindful and set yourself up in ways that you won't let harm come because of you to the people you help!
Thank you for all the work you put into these interviews. I have watched many and Charlotte's story has been so compelling. She is articulate, incredibly self-aware, thoughtful, kind and very generous to have opened herself up to having these very personal interviews published so that others may learn and perhaps grow from her experiences. May she continue on her road of recovery and be rewarded with love and happiness. May you be well, Charlotte.
Thank you Charlotte for having the courage to express things that I have not been able to say. You are appreciated.
very glad to hear you like your therapist!
Thank you both for this. It is appreciated. The chairs , the birds (even the annoyed titmouse I hear) is wonderful.
Charlotte, if you are reading these comments, thank you so much for being open and for providing your perspective in these interviews. They have helped me learn about myself and understand myself and my own pain and struggles. I see in you the pain you feel. I see someone who deserves so much love and I’m rooting for you and sending love to you. I too would have walked out of a situation like you described. I think you perceived that your boundaries were violated and you stood up for yourself in that moment. You were protecting yourself and I don’t think it was immature. ❤️
I agree with everything in this comment. I'm appalled that any clinician would think it appropriate to interview a fragile patient they'd just met with a room full of observers *regardless* of whether they got "consent" ahead of time. People with mental illness are not bugs to be pinned to a board! Leaving such a disrespectful situation sounds like a totally appropriate and HEALTHY enforcement of boundaries. I also 100% agree she deserves love!
Thank god she walked out!
@@bellaluce7088100% agree
Charlotte, you're highly intelligent! You look like you could be an actress. You have such a face for it, and your mannerisms and personality are really actually intriguing! You keep our attention. You're very interesting to watch and clearly you have a lot of fans. You're awesome!
It's very brave of Charlotte to share her story, and great to hear she is looking to help others.
So glad to see another one of the experts sit with Charlotte, and as always, so grateful to Charlotte for her vulnerability and openness. Also...can *my* therapy please be in this garden oasis with pretty chairs?
Bravo to you Charlotte! You are the victorious one! keep working on loving yourself. keep your eye on the prize.
Wow this therapist was by far the best so far in my perception!
Trying to find a way out of where I've got to and searching out therapy/ BPD stuff to try to find answers/ ideas.
I have a long history of mental health problems.
Depression, anxiety and BPD. I also have food problems, my main coping strategy is using food. Binge eating disorder.
I'm diabetic and have high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
Things have been difficult the last year.
My dad died in April, after about 10 months of being diagnosed with bowel cancer. my mum had to go into a care home/ hospital as she has dementia and can't look after herself.
At the same time I ended a 3 year relationship as my ex is an alcoholic.
The relationship had been the first one I've ever been in even though I'm middle aged.
She also has BPD and other mental health problems.
I knew she was an alcoholic but she'd said she was in recovery.
It became clear she wasn't sober, she kept saying her drinking was a one off she wouldn't do it again but it always did
As it was my first relationship it was all unknown and quite difficult and I desperately wanted to make it work.
We meet in DBT and I was very attracted to her the whole time.
With my dad dying and my mum's health getting so bad I couldn't cope any more with my ex's drinking and I ended the relationship.
My mum's health is slowly determinating and it's heartbreaking to see her.
There's been so much loss and loneliness in my life recently but it's also a long term problem.
I've never had many friends and that's still a massive problem.
I do q little bit of voluntary work but have been struggling to keep that going.
I don't feel safe going out doors and just want to stay in doors all the time.
I live in my bedroom most of the time and my two cats sit with me and I wish I could become a cat or they would become human and we could just be here together.
My main bad core belief about myself has always been that I'm not good enough for anyone to love me or want to be with me and that seems to have been reinforced through the relationship with my ex.
I can't see how anyone would be attracted to me as I'm morbidly obese.
I can't stop binge eating.
I've got arthritis in my knees and can't move around very well.
I seem to have used all the mental health services available on the NHS (I'm in the UK) and can't afford private health care so don't know what to do.
I find this channel a while ago and find it so interesting and informative with people's stories.
Thank you to the channel and to Charlotte for this video.
It's very brave to be so open and allow this to be broadcast.
Best wishes Charlotte for your recovery and I hope you and all fellow BPD strugglers find the elusive "life worth living"
Love this therapist. She listens and is present. She slows the conversation down so that these two can really engage. She starts the session off right by asking Charlotte to describe herself, and not letting her escape the question.
Charlotte fan, here! I am on my own journey to learn to love and value myself and to stop being a people pleaser and to stop sabotaging relationships out of fear of abandonment, so I very much relate and appreciate Charlotte for doing this. I find myself wanting to tell her that she is someone I would love to be friends with and listing all of her qualities that are attractive. She’s thoughtful, intelligent, witty, self-aware, honest, humble, vulnerable, genuine, stylish, well spoken, and just adorable. She reminds me of Meg Ryan. And this, I am realizing, is also how i should look at myself. As a friend. I hope Charlotte can watch these back and see all of the wonderful qualities in herself that we can. I know that if I can view myself through the same lens, I will feel a lot more secure in my own relationships. Thanks Charlotte!
adding to the chorus but charlotte, thank you for being so incredibly vulnerable to the world. this is no easy feat. i commend you so so much. all the best to you, may you find healing on your journey ❤
I’m trying to research all bpd content because I was just diagnosed recently and I’m trying to figure myself out more. Content like this is great for me. This video is VERY humanizing. We have emotion instability but we are kind, sympathetic, compassionate. I have high empathy for others and I think my bpd heightens my care for others and their wellbeing. I’ve been sick of seeing bpd demonized. Thank you
@@lespritdelescalier4858 No. CPTSD is similar but also has differences my therapist and I covered. i understand you’re probably being kind with that question but I have bpd and it’s not a misdiagnosis.
THANK YOU DEAR CHARLOTTE FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS AND YOUR VULNERABILITY IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. BLESSINGS OF LOVE AND LIGHT BE WITH YOU ALWAYS..
i never felt so seen. thank you Charlotte and Dr. Diamond🧡
Highlighting the grief and loss of the father is so important here. I'm curious if this is playing a factor in the abandonment wounds/fears? My understanding is that abandonment feelings can arise in grief. This makes sense as well that it is patterned most in romantic relationships. I'm curious if she has been given space to grieve the loss of her father...? Beautiful video. Thank you both for your participation and bravery.
Thank you very much! Charlotte, you seem to be an amazing and kind person. Talking about your struggles is such a brave thing to do and I think you are helping others so much by doing so. I am sending you much love and strength! Keep fighting, you are getting there! There is hope! Things can get better!
Charlotte, that's not true that no one would want to be with you. You are very self aware and an interesting, lovely, funny person.
You are not getting a borderline here. You are getting people exchanging niceties. A borderline can be absolutely merciless and will be. You just have to be with them just a little bit longer than this, and they release the Kraken on you. no, you have never dealt with one. but that therapist knows. They cut off after a certain time limit with borderline. And you pay a big price
Charlotte is one of the bravest women i have seen in such a vulnerable situation. As a clinician it was hard to watch as this interview was so austere and impersonal almost. I do understand the intent and how many can learn, but my heart was hurting for her. I wanted to jump through my screen and wrap my arms around her ❤😢
Thank-you Charlotte for participating in these sessions. I love listening to you. I thank-you for your incredible vulnerability. You are so brave. You are helping me and so many others who want to have a deeper understanding of themselves. Thank-you too to the therapists involved. For providing the opportunity for me as an ‘outsider’, through your questions, your intellectual and empathetic understanding, the guidance to navigate my own emotional issues. I come away from these sessions with so much food for thought, so much constructive instruction to work from. I too was super excited to see a new session…❤️
Charlotte, thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm borderline as well and for some reason watching these videos soothe me and make me feel not so alone. I remember during one of your other sessions when you described how you felt with your mother the word you used was trapped. It's the exact word I used in my sessions to describe how I felt with my abusive mother. I shed a tear that day, for both of us.
Guys, we can get better. Let's keep our heads up and keep moving forward.
Thank you. -P
I love that Charlotte is going to school so she can learn to help others . . . she will come from a place of pain herself, and be able to reach some who others may not otherwise.
This is amazing and so helpful for those that cannot find reliable and accurate information about bpd. Thank you for sharing! Charlotte, I love you, your bravery and vulnerability is proof of how far you have come, you are truly inspiring me during my own recovery process, so thank you!
Awe, it makes me sad that Charlotte doesn’t realize how lovable she is. I see so many lovable qualities in her!! She’s clearly intelligent so I think it would be so interesting to have conversations with her! And she’s funny! And she’s a kind and empathetic person. And she’s self-reflective and thoughtful. Those qualities are so very important for loving relationships! And she’s trying to better herself, going to counseling and attending school! And she’s courageous to face all the struggles she’s endured! And she’s helping other people by doing these interviews which shows how much she cares. Not everyone has all those wonderful traits but she does! And she’s pretty on top of all that! Charlotte has more than enough to offer a relationship. If she was my daughter, I’d be so proud of her! I adore her and wish her all the best. 💕
Charlotte I know you’re reading these comments - you are so beautiful and cute - so sorry this disease has done so much to hurt you. I have it too and everything you said is true - especially about isolation for fear of hurting others - but please PLEASE fight that inner critic! I listen to Daniel Fox - he’s great.
This is really helpful to see what an example of therapy looks like❤❤❤
Love Charlotte I'm looking for more of her videos she's so open.
I'm another member of the Charlotte fan club! Always appreciate her interviews.
This is incredible. I'd love to see more. This is so valuable. Wow. Thank you Charlotte. You're truly beautiful, with a light up a room smile. But more importantly you are doing good work you are living an exquisite, examined life. When you said that you couldn't imagine how anyone could want to be with you I cried.
And thank you to Borderliner Notes team of course. Thank you, Rebbie. You are amazing and doing incredibly valuable work. This channel is just.... ahh. There's nothing like it. Thank you thank you.
Charlotte is a beautiful and courageous human being, with so much sensitivity awareness, and the drive to become her best self. I think she's amazing and I hope she understands her incredible value very soon. The doctors working with her are also impressive. Thank you for sharing this insightful and inspiring series 💖
As someone with borderline personality disorder, I really appreciate this woman. Showing her full, awkwardly authentic self. It's hard to accept sometimes while still not over identifying with it. I feel seen and I'm rooting for her. 💚
Thank you for continuing to update us on charlottes journey, I miss rebbie too!
Don't worry, Rebbie will be back shortly :). Thanks for the support. -P
I feel like I’m watching myself at times when I watch Charlotte in these videos. I’m sooo glad I found this channel.
I’m so glad to see Charlotte again. I often wonder how she’s doing. Her past interviews really stuck with me. There’s something so sweet, intelligent and funny about her. She really doesn’t give herself enough credit as to how interesting she is & what an endearing personality she has. I truly wish her the best.
Also-I think she resembles & sounds like a young Meg Ryan.
Thank you for these videos so much. I am 23 with BPD, and struggling greatly, these videos really aid me in understanding BPD, myself, others, and coping.
I feel so less alone listening to this. Thank you. I dont have access to a psychotherapist.
Thank you for this. It’s like watching myself. This has been so insightful. ❤
Thank you Charlotte for doing this. You're very brave.