Why Narcissists Abuse You - 9 Shocking Reasons & None of Them Are About YOU

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ม.ค. 2025

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  • @FromSurvivingToThriving
    @FromSurvivingToThriving  6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    If my videos resonate - don't forget to join me live weekly on zoom -there's currently a 50% OFF Sale in the School of Transformation good through July 7th - here's the link if you want to join me and an international group of survivors of emotional trauma www.micheleleenieves.com/offers/uJkkR2KT

  • @timc2493
    @timc2493 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +233

    They are SADISTIC

    • @derwoodhamburger
      @derwoodhamburger 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Perfect word for it. Sadists

    • @TrudieTiger70
      @TrudieTiger70 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Perfect word. That’s it

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      100%

    • @Broken_No_More
      @Broken_No_More 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Plain and simple

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      My dad is this way and proud of abusing me, other women, his grown kids(me, especially) and he needs to grow up and shut the hell up since I didn't ask for his overbearing, erroneous opinion of me!

  • @hn5842
    @hn5842 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

    I’m 60 and never knew why my family hated me. Now I do but it’s been a rough life because of them. My heart goes out to all who have survived. ❤

    • @graceymiller6047
      @graceymiller6047 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      lots of us at 60 now have to safeguard aging, narc parents from even worse siblings while dealing with our own PTSD. It's a sadistic world.

    • @hn5842
      @hn5842 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      @@graceymiller6047 I feel for you ❤️ Mine have destroyed me financially and turned my only son against me. He has BPD. Can’t even feel sorry for myself!lol! Who would care?!lol! I think no one calls them out so it becomes ok. It’s not.

    • @NightMystique13
      @NightMystique13 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@graceymiller6047I am not going to deal with my nmom-my siblings have $$ and so does she. They can take care of her. She didn’t protect me from my abusive dad, when I was raped at 14 and again at 17, she swept it under the rug. She is highly religious and doesn’t respect others beliefs. I have had her tormenting me, the scapegoat and oldest kid, or parentifying me since I can remember.

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am the same age. Dad hates women, is narcissistic, sadistic and a bully, I am female, he has always marginilized me because of that. He's a jackass! I am not in contact with him!! His flying monkey girlfriend said "That's the way he's always been and won't change." She echoes his abuse of me, makes excuses for him. I can't stand her, either, their bullshit. He thinks I don't see his bullshit for what it is; that is insulting to me. He's a jerk! I deserve a better father. I can live happily without bothering with their narcissism/excuses for it.

    • @berealrb1496
      @berealrb1496 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same here.

  • @AnneT-q7k
    @AnneT-q7k 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +95

    This explanation is brilliant.
    They twist words around and start believing their own lies; then accuse you of their own misdeeds.
    But that sadistic pleasure they derive from causing your pain is scary !

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      Extremely scary, especially when people think they are just the most lovey dovey person in the world and call you ungrateful for not loving the "help"(abuse) of the narc.

    • @tbacon2784
      @tbacon2784 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@dakoderii4221 True! People tell me all the time how lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband. So helpful, etc, etc, etc. But he only helps with what he wants to do, not what I really need help with. Mostly, he helps me with things that will help him to stay in control... He helps everyone else with whatever, but once they get to really know him, they drop out of our lives...😢 My grown kids don't like him because our family is not as good as his family, and his kids believe they are better than my family as well. They also believe it is perfectly OK to destroy or even to steal my things. One of his sons lived with us for almost 9 years (he was 13 when he moved in). A year and a half or so ago, he moved back in; a few weeks ago, we asked for $160 a month for rent as we are low income, so he moved out. He has never paid anyone more than a1 or 2 months of rent. He is almost 30, and has almost never paid a dime of rent to anyone, he also won't keep jobs for more than a month or two, then claims he got let go for various reasons that are never his fault, though sometimes he quits because they arent nice to him. He did keep one job for a year, then quit it to sue them, except NO lawyer would take the case, so he got nothing...

    • @davidsutliff8312
      @davidsutliff8312 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The crazy thing is when they do that and then they discard, they punish you for everything that they did to you because of exactly what you explained. So as if enduring all of that abuse wasn't enough, we get one more long drawn out ass whooping on the way out.

  • @SardonischerDean
    @SardonischerDean 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Everywhere I go I attract these garbage types of people even indirectly. The invasion of my privacy, boundaries. Intimidation. Avoidance is key, so is knowledge

  • @stylist62
    @stylist62 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    They only have empathy for themselves, when they hurt you they behave like you hurt them, they switch roles with you, take credit for being you, treat you like you are them

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      😢

    • @jeremy-wb3vw
      @jeremy-wb3vw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah the famous one I guess declaring I ll kill myself and leave you everything to attend if I don't have you. Meanwhile VIP. Tell them how they behave and oh woman they twist it up. I laugh then watch out but my kids only have one mother and she taught me how to live never addicted to anything thank God. So I am truly understanding as that's how I would love my son's to feel. Yes crazy I am male and not worked really since 2008 but 3 weeks part time and she took care of me for the first lady look of the century. Beautiful has more thorns than a rose. Especially envied projection. I still sleep next to her every night. But if we wanna be truthful it's embarrassing to feel closed off from a woman I have been with for 24 years 😮. Two sides to every story. Number one I prayed for this woman which is a long story back to where I was 13 or so I started. I never knew it was her until years later because all the excitement of meeting her and ups and downs red flags everywhere is just so hot. Better than women in adult movies which started me thinking how in the world can I keep this woman forever with all the flags. Well sex meter hit a new level. So after findings of much than the game starts so I don't even care she was who I wanted she knows more about me and days incredibly hard seeing I am a stay at home Dad she can throw that in my face I feel. Injured for many years at that. So I said you can have ever password and make me seem who you want. Take full advantage of that. How hard is it to deal with a community specialist? Now mind you I prayed for a snobby woman just love they way they move. Before you find out talk about anything. Mind you I got what I truly prayed for. I ask almost in this for and I might advise against my prayer because it was to the text honesty

    • @SCH292
      @SCH292 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      They "switch their role" when talking to different people. Not to be confuse with "mood swing".
      Person A. They might switch to being the victim.
      Person B. They might brag about something like their illness or whatever topic.
      Person C. They might switch role back and forward. Victim to being strong or vice versa.
      "Same story different versions". ---> Calypso.

    • @stylist62
      @stylist62 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@SCH292 yes the victim snake, they are repulsive

  • @w8what575
    @w8what575 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Not all addicts are like that….addiction is generally someone self medicating and suffering…

  • @derwoodhamburger
    @derwoodhamburger 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

    The hardest part is the abuse is so subtle. So it's easier for them to avoid accountability and twist it back onto you. Crazy making behaviour. Sadistic to say the least

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Dad nitpicks at me, his attitude, his problem, in isolation. He's a bully and full of bullshit! I can't be around/dealing with him! He pretends he's such a great dad, he barely does the minimum and resents doing that, yet expects me to tell others that he helps me weekly(a total lie!) I won't lie for him. I have to live with myself and not him. He cares only for yes-people, who back up his lies. I'm a truth teller. He doesn't respect my boundaries at all. He's a jerkwad; I can't be bothered with him!

    • @Michibella-art
      @Michibella-art 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Very true!!!!

  • @attractarattigan3574
    @attractarattigan3574 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    His motto "I have to manage you". Made me sick. GP told me to leave for my safety. I left... After 40+yrs. Good health returned. Life is great now.

  • @jennihubby2877
    @jennihubby2877 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +56

    They need to transfer their pain onto or into others. It’s trickery. Black magic

    • @lisbethbird8268
      @lisbethbird8268 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @Silence_between_waves So extremely wise! Radically accept what they are and disengage to every possible extent.

    • @annieportier3584
      @annieportier3584 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Actually it's demonic!!

    • @sweetrose813
      @sweetrose813 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Finally, somebody said the truth where it's coming from

    • @VioletS-rr8ln
      @VioletS-rr8ln 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Anything that belongs to Satan/anyone that practices wickedness is deemed satanic. That includes all fos of witchcraft, black magic, sorcery, astrology, etc.

  • @joanbaczek2575
    @joanbaczek2575 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    Bingo your happiness triggers abuse

    • @graceymiller6047
      @graceymiller6047 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      It's really a jaw dropper to have a spouse of 30+ yrs who's destroyed everything you loved look you in the eyes and seriously claim, "I CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU HAPPY" and then I got to see the jail and the end of my home and family. There's nothing else to be but happy to be gone. If only there were a conscious in that head.....

  • @77sunflowers
    @77sunflowers 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    So true... you didn't know it was abuse, only years later you realise there's something wrong with you and you start researching......

  • @runamukrancher6628
    @runamukrancher6628 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    When I get a nasty put-down text from my narc ex, I don’t respond. I let a few days go by and claim oh Im not getting texts for some reason and blame cell service. It minimizes and erases their attempt at superiority. They understand passing the buck.

  • @etherealdeal1792
    @etherealdeal1792 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Dealing with the pain of narcissistic discard now and these videos making me aware of what is happening is super helpful. God bless you for sharing this content. I feel way better knowing my reaction is normal and I’m not alone

    • @jennifergriffin5467
      @jennifergriffin5467 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Stay strong. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm 2 years into healing.❤

  • @keepinmind8846
    @keepinmind8846 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +82

    This is true for me. My narcissistic adult daughter did exactly that to me for a decade. I thought I was going crazy, learned about gaslighting and how to respond to prevent her from setting me up. Through the years I isolated myself because she would talk bad about me behind my back to my family to the point I ended up getting D2, arthritis in my hands, felt like I was never enough, she would shamed me when I cried begging her to stop, asked her to see a therapist and she said I needed one because I was crazy. After being in debt and sick I moved away and am now feeling better and understand it was not me. Sad because I love her so much but both her father and her are the same. :(

    • @Nanasfsw
      @Nanasfsw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      I’m sorry you’ve gone through that. My daughter has been doing the same to me for 18 years since married to a narcissist. She’s spaced the kids out, 18, 15, 6, and 1. She’s kept dangling the grandchildren as weapons. Her father was a narcissist, he disappeared from our lives when she was 2.

    • @emj3677
      @emj3677 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      My oldest daughter is/was the same to me. She is just like her father and they both 'teamed up' to destroy me. Because she was my daughter, I did not see her abuse for years. She went behind my back to my friends and family and told them lies about me. I have some family and friends that saw what she was doing and are still 😮in my life, but I lost a lot. I am doing a lot better since disconnecting from all of them. I won't ever have anything to do with my daughter again. It is sad because I still love her, but she is just too toxic. Her father passed and now she idolizes him. He was an awful father to her, he would belittle her along with me and when ever I would get mad and defend her, he would turn everything around on me. Before he died he told her that he had a favorite (which is awful) and it wasn't HER. He was THAT mean. I wish she could get help, but I am afraid she is too far gone.😢

    • @missb1982
      @missb1982 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      I too am going through this with my daughter. It has taken a toll on my mind to the point of losing hair and sleep because she is actually pregnant and due to deliver here any moment with my first grandchild. However I had to go no contact and that is definitely not what I wanted to do, but I had no choice. Child or not, I am not going to deal with further disrespect or being hurt continuously, nor am I going to be used. I know she will use my grandchild as a weapon, and dare I say she actually got pregnant on purpose for a motive for more control over not just me, but her partner. I'm just not going to put up with that. I have tried to help her numerous times, but to no avail. I will pray for her, but ultimately it is her decision to behave in that manner. Hopefully time and prayer will change things.

    • @Nanasfsw
      @Nanasfsw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@missb1982 I’ll pray with you for your child and grandchild 🙏🙏🙏

    • @missb1982
      @missb1982 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@Nanasfsw thank you and for you as well!❤️

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +30

    13:02 And you can NEVER be safe, surrounded by flying monkeys, even when they "only" report on you.

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      My dad's girlfriend is one, she made an excuse for him "He's always been this way, he won't change". True, but I didn't complain, he was late in arriving, no reason or apology for his lateness. His attitude, his problem, I don't want to listen to her echoing his excuses. I will not put up with these two people and their crap!

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@jackilynpyzocha662stay free

  • @alexadellastella5247
    @alexadellastella5247 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I was the golden child of a covert narcissistic mother and absent narcissistic father and I have always been an empath and my brother who was the scapegoat was a narcissitic from a young age.... I am the only one who cut contact with the family..... still recovering though

  • @BonitaHighley-el4ed
    @BonitaHighley-el4ed 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    Ex narc gave me and our son an eviction , we moved out, then three months later ex knocks on our door giving gifts, i did not let him in, .....told him to leave----five years later our eviction records are about to expire-we are moving this fall. I can't begin to tell you the crap we have been through, but, i choose to not allow ex to destroys our happiness no more

    • @Golden_Ghoul
      @Golden_Ghoul 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ❤ good for you!

    • @joanbaczek2575
      @joanbaczek2575 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      In nc eviction stays on record for ever. If you told the court you victim of domestic abuse they would have set it up so you leave on certain date without eviction

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      keep swimmimg 🐟

  • @ImpulsoCreativo9322
    @ImpulsoCreativo9322 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

    ❤very powerful when u said they want you looking like you are sick because they are.

  • @LR-yu3mx
    @LR-yu3mx 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My malignant narc mother gpt up before 6 o clock on Christmas day, in a terrible mood, and everybody had to start cleaning the house. The athmosphere was so thick, we packed up and travelled all 900 miles back to our home. Here last words were"take this turkey (i baked it) before I throw it out!!"

  • @benniecampbell3973
    @benniecampbell3973 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    Everything you said is the truth about narcissists, I know from experience!!!

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    Here's a tenth one, from my own experience in being group-stalked: Once they see a beaten down person, that condition makes that person like chum to sharks.

    • @cheryldow-sainter2215
      @cheryldow-sainter2215 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I can agree with that...after I left my MN I swear I had a big sign on my arse saying "kick here"

    • @gretachiangwa7656
      @gretachiangwa7656 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😢

    • @sylviasimpson-n2o
      @sylviasimpson-n2o 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      They are bullies & hide in a gang.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😢

    • @kristinmeyer489
      @kristinmeyer489 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@sylviasimpson-n2o They enjoy causing targets to snap and either off themselves or others. My first perp actually told me this decades ago, as she was playing with my perceptions and screwing with my family to set me up to live and die in hell.

  • @Broken_No_More
    @Broken_No_More 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I went from caring for a narcissistic mentality ill mother for the first half of my life, escaped and ended up marrying my narcissistic deranged husband of 17 years and ended up taking care of my mom for the last 15 years of her life. I never could escape but by the grace of God he helped me get loose from my husband almost two years ago my health turned on me but I believe God for healing. ❤
    I pray for the rest of you.

    • @lucius4556
      @lucius4556 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I have to say with no disrespect, people live horrible lives and then turn around and thank some non existing God.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      almighty Yah will bless & restore you. read Job

  • @karenluke3923
    @karenluke3923 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    I had a critical surgery back on May 14th. My son said when they took me back and they went home, my husband's phone blew up with texts. It wasn't anyone asking about me. So he took off and was gone for a long time. He came back with beer. And since it was all about me and not him, he showed up at the hospital very drunk. He couldn't stand the attention being on me. He nearly got into a few accidents on the way home. My husband has tried to be very controlling with my recovery. I think he was disappointed because I survived the surgery. My son noticed it too. Sad..

    • @Me-mn4nw
      @Me-mn4nw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      And you stupidly stay!

    • @judithargitay9860
      @judithargitay9860 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      @@Me-mn4nw There is no need to kick the victims. Anyone who has knowledge about narcissistic abuse, knows how extremely difficult it is to leave these relationships because of the trauma bond and the cognitive dissonance. More difficult than quitting herione according to some experts. Victims need empathy and encouragement, not further blame-shifting and humilitation.

    • @Me-mn4nw
      @Me-mn4nw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@judithargitay9860 Sweetheart, I know its hard but some just enjoy whinning while playing marter.

    • @PrettyPennyTV
      @PrettyPennyTV 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@Me-mn4nwAnd you stupidly bully people when they're down for likes and attention.

    • @Me-mn4nw
      @Me-mn4nw 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@PrettyPennyTV Sweetheart, having surgery while remaining with an abuser is par for the course. Either get the Hell out while you're still alive or die whining! I'm not advising anything I haven't been through and/or done myself. Maybe she will get pissed enough to crawl out of that hole she's Allowing him to dig. It's her GRAVE not mine!

  • @andrewworthy4931
    @andrewworthy4931 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Not everything that involves us necessarily has anything to do with us.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      yep. bystanders

    • @LauraVolpintesta
      @LauraVolpintesta 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Beautiful sentence

    • @andrewworthy4931
      @andrewworthy4931 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@LauraVolpintesta Thanks! Not sure who said it but it sure is a beauty.

  • @adithalee8660
    @adithalee8660 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    No, the narcissist will abuse you even if you know it. It just boils down to lack of respect. I would get into fist fights w/my mom who just picked on me or slapped me for no reason or go back and forth in arguments with me not allowing her to downgrade me and be slapped and she kept that crap up for YEARS b/c the people within the family was backing up the mess. The real problem are the enablers who enable the narcissist behavior and also when you leave the toxic narcissist REGARDLESS of how you feel about yourself you run into another narcissist who tries to size you up that they can take advantage as well. So it has absolutely nothing to do with them knowing you know what they're doing. They're just evil nasty people. They love to talk over you, define you, yell over you, speak for you as though you have a mental deficiency and the crowd or the group or the enablers back mess up b/c they're usually scared of the narcissist as well even if they have power over the person. It's weird. No you don't have to think you don't deserve love and all of that nonsense. They just take their way. It's their IMPRESSIONS of you that becomes KING or QUEEN. They haven't a clue most of the time of who you are, so they DEFINE YOU. And tell you who you are. So most people who do not think as lowly as people think they do just reject being around a lot of people b/c most people now are Narccisstic. I'll say 1 out of 3 people in America are Narccisst just based off of my experience. So it's like going from the frying pan (narcissistic parent) to the fire ( Narcissistic co-workers, fake friends, fake helpers etc.). And the enablers are the MAIN PROBLEM. They're like the fans and the Narcissist are the movie stars.

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Dad blamed me for abusing me(in many ways). He's insecure and immature. I can't be bothered with his bullshit anymore, all lies.

    • @berealrb1496
      @berealrb1496 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yep. Mother enables my sister. Brother says forgive, which means keep on getting abused your too sensitive, you are wrong. It's demons all circling within them.

  • @Jen-iy7lq
    @Jen-iy7lq 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Studies do show that clinical psychopaths exhibit little to no reflexive startle responses in anticipation of pain stimuli, supporting the theory they lack the ability to anticipate and learn from punishment, and to empathise with pain experienced by others. The NPD brain has structural differences and lack of neuroconnectivity in some areas.

  • @dakoderii4221
    @dakoderii4221 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    I've been reading the book "Atomic Habits" and having so many epiphanies. I used to do most of that stuff and was successful. My family, mainly my dad, beat it out of me, one piece at a time. Literally, brick by brick dismantled my whole system. I received straight A's but it wasn't good enough. I have to work harder(and dumber), not smarter.
    These people are very wicked and know exactly what they are doing. They have are reactive but that doesn't mean they aren't also plotting and planning your downfall. They take self help and marketing books and twist that information to abuse their family. Things that people use to better themselves are taken and twisted around to destroy the target of narcs. If doing A helps then doing B, the polar opposite, should harm. Narcs go hehe 😈

    • @lynylcullen8370
      @lynylcullen8370 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Thank you for the recommendation. Always looking for books and information that will help me heal!
      It’s an insidious experience dealing with this wicked people.

  • @juliefisk8066
    @juliefisk8066 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    #9 hit home. How could I have not realized I was being abused? I chalked it up to his own childhood and what he went through. I knew it was wrong but never really considered it abuse until one day, I heard someone say, "Families tend to cater to the most toxic person just to keep the peace."
    My word, what had I done? Not just to myself but to my children? It took a few more years to get out, but I finally did. Now he smears me all over our small town. Our oldest has turned against me, even though the others know what he did, as he did it to them, too, they refuse to correct him. "That's just how he is," is the response. It breaks my heart that he's now being nice to them in order to be the victim. I spent years protecting him and his reputation, and now I am paying the price. How could she leave such a good, upstanding Christian man? That's the very last thing he is! I am heartbroken. He is continuing to prosper while lying to the court about how much money he makes. He's accused me of trying to steal HIS house, etc. He's even got a new wife whom he lies to and makes believe that I'm trying to get him back! Ugh! He makes me sick!!!

    • @hibiscus1974
      @hibiscus1974 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      i can feel your pain.. i’m still in that situation.. my worse is my parents are malignant, my siblings are overt, and i married a covert husband... now my husband joins hand with my original families.. i have nobody except my only one daughter, we plan to leave them one day, slowly2...

    • @jennifergriffin5467
      @jennifergriffin5467 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I, too, feel your pain. It boggles my mind how people can be so evil to "their loved ones." I think that's why we don't see it, sometimes for decades. We just can't believe the people closest to us were so evil.

    • @juliefisk8066
      @juliefisk8066 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @hibiscus1974 I hope you get out soon. It is difficult and painful. However, it is so worth it. I understand why you stay. The fear of the repercussions is enough. I spend most of my time alone. It's my time to heal, to cry, and to get my new life in order. If you have your child, you have all you need. You will be OK. Keep your plans to yourself. Do not share them with anyone. Take only what you need to survive. I took my clothes, personal effects, and my dogs.
      I've made the mistake of trying to be friends for the sake of my adult children and grandchildren, only to have it backfire in my face. I will never make that mistake again. There is NO "being friends" with a narcissist. No contact is the only way to go. Once you get out, stay out. Be safe, be careful, and be very quiet about your escape plans. Best of luck to you. Much love and blessings your way!

    • @juliefisk8066
      @juliefisk8066 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @jennifergriffin5467 it boggles my mind, too. Especially as he uses the Bible and Christianity as a weapon against me, his children, and even the new wife. It's so disturbing. He is evil. Eventually, his mask will slip. The fact that he is pretending to be a changed person to gaslight everyone makes me sick, making himself the victim is so evil and disgusting. I have stopped trying to correct the record. There's no point. It is what it is.
      I hope you are finding your healing and peace. I'm working on mine. Its all we can do

  • @lynylcullen8370
    @lynylcullen8370 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    WOW! I recognize so many of the changes that you’ve described happening in myself. Makes me sad to realize how much of my core self I sacrificed through the decades. I’ve been no-contact for 3 1/2 years. And I’m still struggling and dealing with ongoing protection orders and him asking for hearing where he objects but doesn’t deny the behavior or actions! Unbelievable. Every time I have to go back to court it leaves me in tatters.
    I’ll continue with my therapy and not give up on this new life.
    Sending powerful energy to all those going through the same process.
    Get out as soon as you safely can.
    It’s going to be a long road AND IT IS WORTH IT!

  • @chrysatsrp12345
    @chrysatsrp12345 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    Michele's Thrivers School totally saved and changed my life..I am so greatfull, I have totally reprogrammed my mind. Thank you 🙏

  • @shawnadeyo
    @shawnadeyo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Not only will they hop over you when you're crying on the floor but they will laugh at you and say you are a crybaby.

  • @palma9835
    @palma9835 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    We have to save ourselves from these demons popping up everywhere or humanity is doomed. “The falcon doesn’t see the falconer.” Thank you for your work.

    • @randycoolbaugh1408
      @randycoolbaugh1408 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We as a society really need to make narcissism a recognized mental disorder and treat it somehow.

    • @jackilynpyzocha662
      @jackilynpyzocha662 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I exorcised Dad from my life by no-contact. No more hell!

  • @noturbo
    @noturbo 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    thank you, i know for sure i am the scapegoat , wasn't sure if i am a codependent or a narcissist, i put up with so much crap until i snap and so i can look like the narcissist, i know no boundaries. the whole thing is horrible , so i just isolate i cant be near people for too long it always ends in a mess and i am in pain again. its so complex this stuff.
    I love your big brown eyes tho 🥰

    • @Wishpool
      @Wishpool 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I'm the same way and totally relate to your comment.

  • @michaelgarrow3239
    @michaelgarrow3239 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

    I have been in the “limbic brain” for 19+ years.

    • @alltheworldsastage.
      @alltheworldsastage. 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Same and I'm digging myself out

    • @michaelgarrow3239
      @michaelgarrow3239 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      @@alltheworldsastage. - I’m weary of the battle. FTW

  • @dolongowoods4274
    @dolongowoods4274 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was extremely sick and was dying. My mother literally did what you said. When I finally got enough energy to get myself to the hospital the doctor said I was almost dead. And my mother just sat there and watched t.v while I was laying on her floor dying for a week

  • @ProfessorBorax
    @ProfessorBorax 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    About the lack of empathy as a recoverer I can give some more insight: it's not that they are incapable of empathy, it's that they 1) haven't developed that understanding through apropriate feedback as children and 2) have cut off the feeling of pain because they noticed that it was so painful and never learnt how to deal with it/ see emotional expression as a manipulative technique people use (maybe they tried and didn't get empathy from others so they integrated that it didn't work and that people who don't stuff their emotions are just weak).

    • @dionisia25
      @dionisia25 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I like the way you worded this, really puts it in a perspective I hadn’t thought of before.

    • @w8what575
      @w8what575 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Or they were raised as a spoiled rotten brat and grew up believing the world revolves around them only…no one else matters…only them…and they’re too simple minded to evolve past toddlerhood…

    • @LauraVolpintesta
      @LauraVolpintesta 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Good points here thank you

  • @xsplifficbeats6340
    @xsplifficbeats6340 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    They way they act are so natural, i cant get over it. I dont regocnize what she "turned" into

  • @forumicebreaker
    @forumicebreaker 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    After 20 years here. So something that would happen, the spouse wouldn't contribute to the "joint" account really. The spouse had no issue writing out the checks to pay the bills, however.
    The spouse would go do "all the grocery shopping." The spouse would bring up the fact that they "had to do all the shopping." "Everyone would starve" if the spouse didn't go shopping.
    When I would suggest we all go shopping after I get home from work, the spouse would bring up the fact that they have nothing to do and can do it. So, we never went grocery shopping as a family, the kids almost never went shopping.
    When the spouse went shopping then pulled into the attached garage, the spouse would open the trunk and grab way more in their hands and tumble into the door and drop bags on the floor yelling out that "it would be nice if I had some help with the groceries."
    I couldn't suggest taking a couple trips instead of grabbing too many bags, make it easier. Nope, I just had to be their to serve.

    • @joanbaczek2575
      @joanbaczek2575 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Why do you expect her to carry in all the groceries? No matter how many trips she takes 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • @deena3003
      @deena3003 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thats exactly what my spouse do. He does all the grocery shopping. He never wants to go grocery shopping with the family. He'll buy what he thinks everybody wants to eats without asking what i or the kids would like to eat. He'll come home pop the truck with all these groceries. He'll bring in multiple bags, dump it on the counter and yell it'll be nice to get some help around here. Order me and the kids to the put the groceries in the fridge and pantry.

  • @universallovepeaceharmony2258
    @universallovepeaceharmony2258 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hallelujah, joy to find you!
    I lived with my poor dear mother and stepfathers dysfunctional relationship for 50+ years.
    Alcohol and drug addiction and then moving in with my “lover” lead me to prison.
    Of course I should’ve done more to transform but I am now free of alcohol and herion.
    The best is yet to come…god willing and with your excellent wisdom healing .
    Dare I say it you’re very easy on the eye too.🧐😇⚡️

  • @acdude5266
    @acdude5266 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So much of this narcissistic abuse in the workplace, corporations and some government agencies, these are havens for narcissists. Grandiosity and lack of empathy are rewarded.
    A lot of this is Acquired Narcissism in which individuals become seduced by the trappings that come along with career "success" or possibly a dusfunctional parent organization

  • @deena3003
    @deena3003 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When my narc husband raged so badly like had a full on tantrum over why the kids and i should eat grapefruit because he eats grapefruit all the time. That behavior told me everything i needed to know. He literally looked at us as an extension of him.

  • @etaokha4164
    @etaokha4164 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    One side of their brain is missing. My ex a covert narcissist never called me names or insulted me he was always calm but then when I healed and rejected him he insulted me and called me names the calm man became a beast and blocked me. I went no contact and blocked him too. He doesn't exist to me and my son. The trash took himself out. Good riddance

  • @joshwabedford
    @joshwabedford 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    You just described my reality. 😢

    • @song8777
      @song8777 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same here.

  • @emilycunningham8125
    @emilycunningham8125 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    around the 5mins mark - is describing what Hollywood/Media Machine is doing to the world. good insights!

  • @sharonroberts6697
    @sharonroberts6697 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Well-researched and delivered. Thank you!

  • @kristinnorgaard6238
    @kristinnorgaard6238 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is my father… words cannot express the damage done

  • @Mara_143
    @Mara_143 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    💔💎💎💎This explains things perfectly and in a detailed manner. Bless you💛💛💛

  • @Itsmeandthatsok2
    @Itsmeandthatsok2 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Several times during our relationship, I’ve been busy, maybe working a lot, stress levels were high, or I would forget something, I would make comment like, I think I’m loosing my mind.
    Boy he’s using that as leverage. Remember when you said, you were loosing it? You’re going crazy. Yeah Right!

  • @deena3003
    @deena3003 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    These type of people are diabolical 😮 thank you. I am learning so much.

  • @kristinmeyer489
    @kristinmeyer489 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    0:25 I feel compelled to point out to the non-targeted by criminal gang salking terrorist cells that they do, in fact blame targets for being targeted.

  • @annak29
    @annak29 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow, this explains everything i experienced with th ex who is now destroying my teen son, to make an extension of himself.

  • @gregoryswift7804
    @gregoryswift7804 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    I just want to thank you for opening my eyes to what a narcissist was bcuz I had no idea why this woman was getting on my last nerve Siempre.😟God rescued me via the Pandemic, I told her she can’t come over anymore bcuz no visitors allowed until Pandemic is over, she did furnish half my apartment,then I told her I’m seeing someone else please don’t rain on my parade, however some damage was done to my nervous system, but my sanity is intact. I guess i shoulda known anyone whose Facebook name is Jezebel couldn’t been a nice girl. Her Facebook name shoulda been Emotional Vampire that would’ve been more accurate👹 they never totally give up do they?🙏🏾

    • @77sunflowers
      @77sunflowers 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Wow, so she knew she was a Jezabel....

  • @Michibella-art
    @Michibella-art 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤❤❤ for this!! I really didn’t realize I was being abused 10:11

  • @EsotericOccultist
    @EsotericOccultist 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Still learning from your channel and appreciating you.

  • @veronicakennedy5269
    @veronicakennedy5269 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    ❤ amen thank you thank you thank you so much in my 20-year marriage that I just have broken free from 23 months ago even though I am so thankful regardless of lots of health issue behind the abuse God bless us all❤🤗🙏💞👼💯

    • @andrewbeckman7687
      @andrewbeckman7687 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      When I became aware of this particular kind of psychological and emotional abuse, the sheer depths of the pain I was experiencing propelled me to embark on a deep journey of exploration, healing, and recovery and vast personal growth, which I am now eternally grateful for.
      I actively practiced writing about what I could be grateful for in each part of the experience and-as difficult as that was at the time-it helped to assist my healing. I have written around 3K posts in Quora and tried to help millions of victims struggling to heal .
      I learned about narcissistic abuse, so now I can spot them a mile off. With awareness, I have a choice.
      I had to take a good look at my part in the dynamic, my issues of codependency. I learned boundaries. I’ve learned healthy communication.
      I learned how to tune into and trust myself and my gut instinct; I always stay close to that now. I learned a huge amount about myself. I know what healthy relationships are and enjoy many of them in my life now.
      I’m a better, wiser, and more grateful person for going through it all.
      Don’t get me wrong, I would never want to experience it ever again! But I rest confident now that, because of a full recovery, I absolutely will never need to. I do not attract that kind of person anymore.
      I learned life’s biggest lesson that you can't force someone to respect you, but you can choose not to be disrespected. Accept people as they are, but place them where they belong.
      I have also worked on what needed to be healed inside of me, and for that I am grateful.
      Finally there's a beauty in being rejected, misunderstood, unseen and unsupported by people. It teaches you to rely on God for everything. May God heal you all and bless your a life with Love, Faith, and Peace.
      Bless you all !

  • @Helena-tw7pj
    @Helena-tw7pj 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes my parents could walk away while I lay on the floor and they will not react to my pain, BUT the same day they take the car and drive to friends that they feel pity for!!! So they have EMPATHI for THEM not for me. WHY??

  • @kendaddy6676
    @kendaddy6676 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So incredible!

  • @witchywoman4139
    @witchywoman4139 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You're always so spot on, Michele...thank you for all you do!

  • @BenBuda
    @BenBuda 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

    The main reason why narcs abuse is because they have demons

    • @rickprol-pc8ds
      @rickprol-pc8ds 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Dopey comment. Live In Reality, it might help. They are HUMAN BEINGS with trauma issues ETC. You probably still believe in Santa Claus and other beliefs others quickly grow out of.

    • @berealrb1496
      @berealrb1496 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Jezebel

  • @gangGreenthumb
    @gangGreenthumb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    3:07 How is the golden child traumatized? Why do they (sometimes) lack empathy?

  • @attractarattigan3574
    @attractarattigan3574 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Exactly my experience. Lived in Alarm Mode.

  • @SlikWilly-gx1bz
    @SlikWilly-gx1bz 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    it's as if they believe themselves to be corrections officers/guards in an open air prison and we're all their prisoners 🤔

  • @bobbyt7448
    @bobbyt7448 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    You are so beautiful. And thank you for your help here.

  • @flightydancer
    @flightydancer 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Thank you! This message is just what I need to hear today!

  • @irenehamilton2981
    @irenehamilton2981 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Ikr when i survied COVID-19 and Pneumonia like that was traumatizing just horrible people mad because they had to take care of me complaining the whole the time smh i could've died

  • @annetallegrand5656
    @annetallegrand5656 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I didn’t even know I was a golden until I married a covert narcissist pastor and my whole world was turned inside out.

  • @scooterwoodley195
    @scooterwoodley195 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I always wonder if my abuser KNOWS she’s abusing me. Is it planned or a poorly controlled byproduct of her personality?

  • @carolinejennings5021
    @carolinejennings5021 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Great video thank you!❤

  • @benjaminburr-lynch5281
    @benjaminburr-lynch5281 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    How could such a precious thing be abused?

  • @donnaroman9310
    @donnaroman9310 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    They have less active mirror neurons. I think we all have the same amount of mirror neurons?
    Your channel has been saving my life. Thank you so much. I just want clarification on mirror neurons because i have been learning about this recently

  • @shenghu6651
    @shenghu6651 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for this great video! 😊

  • @jaynfontain6635
    @jaynfontain6635 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Add for #6: They want to control the information you have and what you know.
    #7 Better understand covert and never say "you won't know you are being abused."

  • @sfletch3042
    @sfletch3042 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Such insight. You're doing such important work and helping so many, thank you! Also you look so gorgeous in the thumbnail ❤

  • @Lambert7785
    @Lambert7785 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    inssightful reasons, helpful, thanks so much :)

  • @77sunflowers
    @77sunflowers 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    They basically want to erase you ...

    • @fionasheepwash2718
      @fionasheepwash2718 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you , your comment is what I said to a few friends recently about the ex, he got rid of my birth certificate and other personal paperwork it felt like he was trying to erase me. Fortunately I have been able to replace what he destroyed.

    • @VioletS-rr8ln
      @VioletS-rr8ln 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      These idiotic things can try but they will ALWAYS FAIL. God is holy and mightier than all, He would never let anyone prosper against His children.

    • @attractarattigan3574
      @attractarattigan3574 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      RIP

    • @samuelbrown7831
      @samuelbrown7831 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@VioletS-rr8ln Amen

  • @Mr-br9yl
    @Mr-br9yl 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I wish my local JW elders would educate themselves on this, a number of publishers are suffering in the congregation

  • @kathyjenkins1222
    @kathyjenkins1222 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Son hide info from me, then was angry and abusive that i didnt know the info. .....

  • @davesskillet9235
    @davesskillet9235 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Boiling over with hate.

  • @kayebarker8556
    @kayebarker8556 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am 77 years of age my life has been like this

  • @laurajane4806
    @laurajane4806 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you, Michelle!! Namaste :-)

  • @aristideshernandez8817
    @aristideshernandez8817 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Narcissist think they are powerful than The Holy One who created the heavens and the earth..

  • @khadijaaitlahcen3080
    @khadijaaitlahcen3080 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hey michele i have a question that arises while looking at this video. At 7:45 you said that they don’t empatize with the victime when in pain. I wondered if that counts also for the victime when they see their abuser crying?

  • @elainebines6803
    @elainebines6803 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I respond if I have too, I've stopped reacting

  • @ElizzzaB
    @ElizzzaB 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good information. Like how you explain what happens to the brain of narc and victim. Always thought they share their tactics. They are all so much alike. So the GC learns from the NP?

  • @mariachiguira2k
    @mariachiguira2k 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Soooooooo…do you think they know they have a mental illness? Toward the end, I expressed concern about depression.
    I can’t believe I went through this.
    I pray that if a Hoover comes, I remember everything.

  • @BackSlidBacktoGod
    @BackSlidBacktoGod 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    God bless you and thank you

  • @Rockhead75
    @Rockhead75 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    3 1/2 yrs and she slowly turned my friends on me and broke me down to almost suicide. I didn't understand what was happening to me until I left and started studying her illness as much as I hate her I feel more sorry for her knowing she will never have any real relationship.

  • @randycoolbaugh1408
    @randycoolbaugh1408 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm the One thousandth like! ..Whoo-Hoo! ..... small wins.

  • @song8777
    @song8777 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It can be a disorder without being malignant, though.

  • @michellehamner6024
    @michellehamner6024 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    And I am the one who has issues said my narcissist who has sexually assaulted women in the past and is what he says is a "player." Now he is engaged to a little 23 year old girl.

  • @joseenoel8093
    @joseenoel8093 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My daughter's getting a dose of her own silent treatment medecine, idt its going down very well, I'm not putting up with that, was a stay at home mom, she moved out while still at uni, chose her colleges, out of town universities, now nouveau rich thanks to her EU boyfriend, she's giving me a hard time, done is done!

  • @jonbeckel1649
    @jonbeckel1649 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Truth..!

  • @yumildarodriguez1175
    @yumildarodriguez1175 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Omg....this is my partner is a resemble of his mother. I am sure she was a Narcisista arrogant mother. My partner acts like a immature adult parent, he is now doing the same thing whith his son.!!!!

    • @yumildarodriguez1175
      @yumildarodriguez1175 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Smoking weed and drinking now that he is 26th year old

  • @mylenelede8379
    @mylenelede8379 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Whats the longest this slow cook method has taken to fully show itself completely? How many years can it seem not perfect but not really abuse?

  • @yumildarodriguez1175
    @yumildarodriguez1175 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Is the sale on?

  • @Devik666
    @Devik666 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When they do things there own way force us to skin a cat the same way as them

  • @Christine-sz5mx
    @Christine-sz5mx 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Agree sadistic

  • @alecstuart5266
    @alecstuart5266 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    What if the word " Control " Is removed from all the dictionaries worldwide? Will the dear toddler narcos die instantly?

  • @attractarattigan3574
    @attractarattigan3574 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    One Christmas I got a Statue of a hand. I was his third hand....