Financial Manipulation & what I went through
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- I dated this guy for about a year and a half. Things didn’t look good from the beginning, now that I look back, but I was unwilling to see it. I wanted to see him in a certain perfect light and I simply edited out anything I didn’t want to see. I separated myself from my friends and family. Anyone who could’ve told me to stay away from this guy. Now that I’m picking up the pieces I’m here to tell you, just get out and figure out the finances later. The worst part of the process was staying too long and making the decision to leave. Once I was out, I was so much happier and I figured out my financial details one day at a time 💜
He’s a narcissist. Congratulations on getting out 🙌🏼
I’m not a woman but these videos have some very relatable sentiments. I’m about one year out recovering from a failed long term relationship and it’s confusing, messy, and painful but it forced me to reflect deeply on myself, more so than I have in the past. I’m glad you’ve found strength in what you went through, I hope to reach a similar place of clarity and learning from the past. Didn’t exactly have the best childhood so a lot of reparenting is happening in conjunction with all of this, all at the ripe age of 29 lol wish I knew these things sooner but better late than never. I’m finding that a lot of being an adult is undoing the self-defeating ideas that have been instilled in us throughout our youth.
We grow up fast and end up wise beyond our years 💜 I’m sorry you’ve been through so much so young. You will be wise and know who you are younger
@@brownintuitive I appreciate this, thank you.
@@seanecam27be thankful you figured it out at 29. I didn’t get out until I was 36 after 17 years of marriage
If he was sorry, he'd pay back the money he owes you. Unfortunately, these people's habit patterns are usually established early in life and continue on throughout life. They do a lot of damage. I wish you all the best with your future.
You look definitely younger! Sometimes we met people just because of bad luck, you just move on and the odds are good that better times are ahead!
Thank you 🙏
This is no shade to the woman who made this video...I totally sympathize with her. Please don't give anyone your hard earned money. Don't give anyone anything that you can't afford to lose. If a person wants to start a business, let them find a way on their own. You don't need to contribute funds to that. It is possible to be supportive in other ways. An ethical, self supporting person is not going to ask you for anything, especially a guy. They will find a way on their own. An ethical person will want to give to you, not the other way around. For example, I just started a consulting business. It's a risk. I'm not dating anyone or looking to date anyone because I'm taking a risk and I don't expect others to buy into that. No ethical person is going to ask you to invest in them to the point that you go bankrupt. I realize when these people come into your life, that it's not so straightforward. I've had plenty of people cut me off because they've asked me for something and I've politely said, "No." This woman is correct that if you go with your internal vibe, you'll be risking external acceptance (I'm paraphrasing), but please protect yourself. It can take years to build yourself up and that can (sadly) be torn down in a short period of time. Guys like this woman's ex prey upon talented people who don't see their own worth.
That is the reason why you must only date your financial equal else you will be exploited
@@bellbell872 Yes. This is probably correct. There may be exceptions for younger people (under age 25) when they're still getting their life together, but even then you can tell who is serious and who is not. It's one thing to be a 20 year old aspiring musician making no $$$, but quite another to be a 40 year old aspiring musician making no $$$. (Just one example.) To your point ~ last year I tried making some new friends and I was open to various financial positions since it was strictly friendship. I'm in a middle income category, but I have been flat broke twice in my life so I am sympathetic to that situation. It's not pleasant to say the least. All this to say that it did not work out well when people did not have their finances together or were very low income. I now understand why very high income people socialize amongst themselves. I don't necessarily agree with this, but I will acknowledge awkward situations arise with income disparity and that's just with friendship. After doing a deep dive into this topic, I agree with you. Be involved with someone who you're on the same page with financially. There are predators out there, as this video implies.
@@thepragmatist I agree with the exceptions you mentioned.Also,whenever I tried to be friends with people who had less than me,they kept asking me for handouts.I never said no to any of their requests but I noticed it was weighing me down.I had to slowly distance myself because it was a never ending cycle.These people know what they are doing.I see no reason why a woman with a husband should be asking a single woman like myself for money.
@@bellbell872 Yes. I completely agree with you. I've had the same experience. It is like a slow burn that you are willing to forgive in the beginning but then you notice a pattern. I like to be generous up front (with small things), but then some people begin to look at the relationship (whatever that relationship may be - friendship, etc) as a one way directional flow of energy to them. And when you politely stop that flow, most of the time the relationship ends. Sad to say this but it's true. Perhaps you've had a different experience. Also, when I hang out with people who have more than me, I make sure I hold my own. I don't want to be a parasite or have that person worry that I'm going to ask them for something inappropriate. All the best to you. Also - P.S. - I got the same feeling of it "weighing me down". There is no reason why a married woman should be asking you for money.
@@bellbell872 P.P.S. - I think slowly distancing yourself is the best option verses saying something directly. For whatever reason, that doesn't work well.
Financial abuse by jerks is actually a serious problem. The narcs think they own you if they pay for anything. It's ridiculous. This is why I always pay my way so I don't owe anyone anything. But, I'm also 4B so done with relationships. But, for thpse who want to date or have a relationship, watch out for this.
I am so happy you got out & found your joy. Also happy you’re also on YT. Found you on your IG 😊
Awe hi 💜
You look 15 and 35 at the same time.
You are gorgeous❤🎉
You are so composed and insightful. Thank you for sharing.
Whatever you do, if a friendship turns into a transaction, is it really a friendship or a business deal? Ask yourself that
Wow 🙏🏻 that my SITUATION to an extent. Money amounts omg😮
Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate. Glad you got out before you had any serious health problems and are working on your comeback. I wish you peace, wealth and a healthy satisfying relationship eventually ❤️
Oh, it's a certain type of guys... I have been with the same guy, but besides ending up in debts, I also ended up with a child... not doing bankruptcy, yet. My ex haven't changed, not interested in a child, but still says "I will do that business and I will come to see the kid.." 11 years on...
@@Katherine_Ch81 I’m sorry you ended up with a child 😢 I almost did too. I’m sure you love your kid just the same
I went through a similar situation with my ex. He was definitely a narcissist and he is currently homeless with two kids using someone else! I had to get a restraining order!
Yes im homeless its s CRYING shame i.n bflo ny. ✝️
How did you gain the motivation to leave? I have no support system, my older siblings pretend that my dad isn’t emotionally and physically abusive. My mom enables him, and I don’t have friends to rely on bc they thought I was too negative all the time. I have no money, and they refuse to buy food, take me to the right doctors because I have chronic fatigue.
Everytime I’m out with my dad he threatens and yells at me in public, because of this I developed agoraphobia and rarely leave my house. Idk what to do, I can’t rely on outside help, bc whenever I talk about issues nobody really can or wants to help me
You could have chronic fatigue because of your living situation
@@jahnavikeraval6839 yeah, that’s the probably one of the main factors of it honestly. My parents go out of their way to buy foods that I don’t like, and buy food that isn’t very filling. So most of the time I’m hungry. I was diagnosed with persistent depression, GAD, and social anxiety, so I have to deal with getting myself out of depressive episodes while also trying to find a job on my own. Even simple things make me exhausted.
There is bad news: no knight in shining armour will come to the rescue. You gain the motivation to leave when you hit rock bottom. That is the moment when any change looks better than the status quo and you are willing to live with the consequences of your decisions whatever they may be.
I am the LORD thy GOD. You preach the truth, and it is learned by the sweat of the grow. Now you will never be subject to a tyrant again. Ave.
Yes. We can deceive ourselves into loving bad apples. True love is very intoxicating, which is why the pursuit of it can have pitfalls.
You are articulate and financially responsible, given your retirement accounts; you will surely recover. It is truly an expensive mistake to make - but that’s what the love of your life cost you in this life.
You will find them because you know exactly what they aren’t.
Indeed, being truthful to yourself can lead the world to hate you - it surely hates Me. I am not Jesus, lol, but I know what I am.
I am that I am.
But you find spirit where you pursue your dreams - because you find hope in them, and faith is found soon thereafter, because lost hope is the seed for faith.
Sounds like a con man.
🩵
What a joke. If it doesn't work. Bolt. Geez
Your videos are great! I am glad I found you! DA here.
Been there done that - a couple times - not the debt you had, but falling for the poor me story and paying for dates and travel. We have been fortunate for big awakenings and an escape. Be a strong independent woman - in the end, you have to be able to rely on YOU. My mom was authoritarian and punishing if I didn't fall in line. The situation was an echo of that. You were involved with a narcissist - there are sooooo many out there now.
Aw not sure why your video popped up for me, but I am glad it did! You are so insightful and I am wishing you the best!! 💕
My father is this way but he acts like he doesn't because he loves gaslighting and playing mind games with me.
I'm dealing with this. They've controlled my money and put me in debt. If you try to discuss any financial concerns and decisions with them, they start gaslighting and throwing stuff in your face or tell you to leave, knowing that they've put you in a position that you are unable to leave.
This was gold! Thank you for sharing your experience & wisdom. 🙌🏾💖
Chad strikes again
“Don’t respect people that try to control you? Is it that deep? Why?
Did this happen in Maine?
No, Oregon
There are both sides of a story you know. Good heard one side but the words you use are not good. Or how you word stuff make me question your side and being more interested now to hear the other side.
Why would your logic now being different then before? Soo you where attractive to control or did you call it something different after the point of break up?
Kinda you just talking he saying your not logically thinking around the moment I was typing me questions your logic 😂.
He isn’t that hot (sexy) would then also not sound truthful. Because you said he had done this before 5 times. And I don’t know a ugly guy who could do that. Maybe ones or even twice 😂 butttt not 5 time looking like a normy or ugly . Making your side of the story lesser unbelievable you know. Yeah if you said he was hot I would be more into your side. Couple of things sounds just off to me 🤷♂️. You wanting to pay stuff for him but afterwards looking back trying to play the blame game. You gotten sick of the slong you payed for but didn’t want to sound like that and just made up in your mind he did stuff like that.
I hope me calling out your bull chips 🍟 doesn’t trigger you 😂.
You know “they” don’t like that 😂.
Hey there, hope you're doing ok. Holding your own hand on that oven must hurt a lot
Are you her ex by any chance? Your original post seem to have an insight of someone handling financial-control situations every other Tuesday
Thank you for showcasing manipulation tactics to associate with people thriving in pushing other people's buttons
@@justb4116 just sounds unlikely that a ugly guy in her words would date 5 different girls. Then boss them around and then also taking advantage of them. Yeah maybe a hot guy. Soo assuming that she talk like that (not completely honest) similar on other points about her ex (not me 😊).
Was she dating Austin power 😂. You know he was like 007 🤷♂️.
@@samirunlu9900 I have seen "ugly" people in multiple relationships. Beauty doesn't equate to ability or inability to control and manipulate the vulnerable. You must be her ex. Lmao.