At the end of my 31 year marriage to an EXTREMELY narcissistic woman, I asked her if there was ANYTHING good in the 31 years. She shook her head no. I asked again, she again shook her head no. They think in black and white terms, all good or all bad. They have no gray area.
Hi Naomi I learned you can't prove nothing to them no matter what you try to do it's never going to be good enough that's just the way they are I thought mine really love me too but one morning she picked a fight with my daughter over some nonsense I just don't play that game she got all mad and pissed I really didn't understand at the time but I was dealing with a narcissist but it didn't take me long to find out by watching these videos they have been really helpful and it does hurt sometimes when you think about things but for the most part I'm doing better now I'm healing going right at 6 months now and so quiet and peaceful I don't know how to act hang in there though it will get better eventually it just takes time
@@twinklehussain1011 hey there twinkle they don't mind they have no empathy they could careless I know how I feel with my ripped my heart out to and stomp on it hand it back to you like nothing ever happened and then they're gone but hang in there it will eventually get better it just takes time even though it still might hurt sometimes but we will eventually heal hang in there
When u look at some of the folks commenting on TH-cam vids they're gorgeous so it's obvious that no matter how good looking, how banging your body of how charismatic you are it really isn't enough for them.
They CANT. it's a DISORDER. If they've been STUCK for decades, what makes you think they'll get u stuck now? There's no cure. This info is widely available.
5 months survivor here! Still ruff sometimes.. ran into him and his new supply a few weeks ago.. he had to make it very clear that she was the new love of his life.. hurt at first but realizing its all bs
I wouldn't be able to handle that. But same thing, he discarded me over the phone and made it sound like he was gonna walk down the aisle with someone he met on Tinder. Sad.
Hi Jesyka I can definitely relate to you how it feels because it does hurt at times and it does get kind of rough too mine discarded me 5 months ago going on 6 months things are going fairly decent so I thought and one morning she decided jump on my daughter but no reason over some nonsense but when she did that that was a no no and I stopped it that's when she blew up at me and stormed up out of here I have heard from her but I hadn't ran into her in town or nothing but I know she's with somebody else I'm sure of it I just haven't seen them but I really don't give a care I'm better off by myself but it does get rough sometimes but for the most part I'm going to make it though we'll just have to be strong but I know that's easier said than done sometimes the hang in there don't let him discourage you we are survivors we will make it just take it one day at a time
This really helps put my relationship with my ex in perspective. I got to the point in my relationship where I dreaded every mistake I made or was going to make.
Before I knew it, I was walking on eggshells as well. I knew any screw up, I wouldn’t hear the end of it. I met a man recently that I always tried to do thoughtful things for. I went on a business trip I picked him up a souvenir or send him pics of things I think he’d appreciate. Yesterday I didn’t do one thing which was share a post on social media of his podcast. I honestly forgot. He made a snarky comment thanking me for forgetting. I apologized ( a terrible habit) and he said yeah “yeah yeah geez”. Nope, not going down this road again. 🚩
This was exactly the question I asked, when I learned about the new supply and I was discarded..."Why wasn't I enough on my own to hold your attention?"
Omg!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!! I have ALWAYS said that! People who are bored, are boring!!! It doesn't make sense to me. 'Good enough,' you know why 'you' weren't 'good enough?' Because you don't accept their behavior. That's why they go to/back to supply ... the supply validates their stupidity, oh I mean 'arrested development.'
Not being enough is real and can stem from childhood trauma yet we seem to go for people that have similar attributes to the ones that traumatized us. It’s critical to see this otherwise you will be down trodden always striving to be appreciated and excepted and always coming up empty-handed. This video illustrates the simple truths and should be taken to heart.
I did the same thing!! I married at 43 I said to myself “ well I was never married so I guess I have to work with him Bull shit!!!! I ‘m divorced now and happy again !!
Yes Mine idolized other people's wives & girlfriends...while I was being abused on all levels It's insidious * your description hits closest I've seen out of all the women. I became the literal oppitome of perfection a stepford wife doormat!! Our entire relationship I wasn't ever complimented or thanked. The goalposts always mosted Worst of all we have a child so even after I finally kicked him out I still endured abuse from him on every level & due to the cognitive dissonance kept letting him back in time & time again only to be devalued and discarded. Over & over again. I've lost 17 years of my life Still to this day he's never admitted any wrongdoing or been sorry or acknowledged any thankfulness for me. & our teen decides to go live with him she also became abusive to me like a mini him imitating him. After he had discarded her & I both her entire life It's a special nightmare to be living in.
I feel you. Almost the same situation here but I've got my boys still. He pits them against me constantly and I want to move out of state. I can't stand him and his evil anymore
So strange, when MY Dad, Mom, Brother and our Son died through the years, my narc (almost ex husband), expected me to console him, but he was never there for me. And he was terribly jealous of our Son and what he achieved, always telling him he was a loser etc. (Our son was a pilot, age 24 when he died).
Their expectations make you walk on eggshells and have anxiety about everything you do. I would worry all day about the meal I was cooking or the food I was buying in case he kicked off about it, what life is that?? 18 year sentence for me
I am a constant case of anxiety now. Feeling anxious and guilty for giving myself space. Feeling anxious and guilty whenever I am around him because of how he treats me. It breaks my heart to remember when I used to look forward to his presence.
I realized from examining my own self that the thing that hooked me into the narcissist was my own ego or possible lack of.. She was highly attractive and I was riding high on what I thought was my good fortune. Even after I discovered that she was no good I continued to try and stroke my own ego by staying with her. I suppose she purposely left open her email account and I read some emails her ex had written her. It was a horrible read this man crying like a baby. Begging her to return and offering gifts.. I told her I read her emails. She didnt care didnt show any emotion.. That was the end for me..
Yep they wanted u to find it. See YOU were the new supply. And that man was like the others here thinking YOU TWO would ride off in the sunset all happy forever. He was thinking you were better than him and she changed for YOU etc. I say this bc ur the first new supply perisn I've came across. Everyone was always the old supply with no clue where or who the new supply is. This is reassuring that even with the new supply they don't ever chnsge or care.
I had put up with enough from my ex and I knew the days were numbered, he killed any affection I had for him. I was there listening to his problems trying to help and give him advice of course I got nothing back, the affection died a long time ago. The final straw was witnessing him be violent towards a friend when I complained and also said he knew I hated violence, he told me if I did not like it to F off, that really was a lightbulb moment, who likes to witness violence unless you are sick in the head, which he was. I walked away at this point and finally have got him out my life. I ran into him a week later and we both ignored each other, great just how I wanted it for a long time but never had the strength to do it before, so no I was not enough for him and don’t want to be, these creatures are sick.
Your ex sounds like he didn't have the ability to give you any decent advice & care back if he's so unrefined & primitive in mind & spirit to stoop to physically assaulting anyone,especially the friends you care about. You probably did yourself a life saving favour for severing ties with that guy, because if you showed that you were going to accept his violent ways when he gave you the option to F off if you didn't like his violence, I have NO doubt that he would have escalated his violence to the point where it would have inevitably involved you personally. You deserve to be with a good person like yourself that aspires to the same high standards that you do
@@carpathianken thank you, no he wasn’t, capable, he was slowly destroying me mentally and spiritually and I don’t doubt physically too eventually. His violence would have been projected at me at some point. He is a lost cause and I have no feelings for him at all. When I ran into him his face was all battered and bruised another friend told me he had fell over twice, I call that poetic justice and karma doing her thing. Blessings to you.
I was finally discarded 2 months ago... and I found out that there is already a new supply; ready when he broke up... so she was already "waiting" in the background... nice right? I am so broken und I am ruminating all day long... and yes, asking myself "was it not enough, should I have done more?" Walking on eggshells all the time... It is really sad, not sure if I will even survive this pain...
You’ll be OK. I’m going through the same thing it’s been about a week now since I haven’t talk to him but every day gets better. Some days all I can do is think about them even if I don’t want to I try and try not to and pray and ask God to take it away but like I said with each day that goes bye your heart to able to breathe a little bit more every day
You will survive. Nothing written in stone that says recovery is immediate. It's a tragedy when you have true love for someone and you discover it was not mutual. Keep in mind a narc has a personality disorder and is mentally ill which explains their lack of empathy and inability to love. The pain, jealousy, the feeling of betrayal, the love we may still have for the narc is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human with a soul. I still have feelings for the female narc that invaded my life, but she is sad, pathetic and a hopeless case and I' ve gone no contact and have not responded to any recent hoovers. I keep it moving, write it off as someone who has become dead to me. Empathetic people learn from life and get stronger spiritually , narcs never do and remain lost without a soul.
You can, you’re going to be ok, who you thought he was, he wasn’t, when I was, brutally discarded, it was coming for a good while, I could feel it. I called him out on his stuff he said he didn’t like me anymore, last thing he said to me while I was crying on the phone, was, what do you want to say, remember this will be the last time you ever talk to me, I said, that I didn’t want to break up. Phone slammed down, within seconds he blocked me. I was in shock, bereft and couldn’t believe it, the previous day he called me saying how much he missed me!!!! They are empty and don’t know how to love and for that alone, be so glad you do. I know you are hurting and it’s a tough road to begin with, but you’ll get there and remember you have something he will never have, the ability to feel and understand what you’re feeling xxx
I think the biggest problem we all faced was when we observed someone with their lips planted firmly around their own asshole our brains automatically blocked it out because it was too horrible to know their are people feeding themselves this way.
Thank you Jess, for bringing up narc perfection and "not being enough". The narcissist constantly talked about perfection, i.e., she wanted everything perfect. Of course, this was never in reference to inner or spiritual perfection, it was always about things, mostly mundane, etc. etc. etc.. if perfection is all about cheating and lying and abusing people she managed to , in the time I've known her, create a perfect narcissistic manifestation of a real jerk....thanks for continuing to help us with this so helpful information, Jess! 💞🙏🕊
YES and I so wish I knew this when I was a child. N. adoptive mother destroyed any confidence I might have grown into and gave me a very low self worth. Thankfully having finally had a fantastic husband for 31 years he rebuilt most of what she tried to destroy. He has been gone 5 years now and every day I so appreciate how he helped me to hold my own against controlling people. I pretty much tell it like it is when some one keeps trying to push me into what they think I should be. Or mostly just shrug and say well that is great you do you. I will continue to do me. Not a mean reaction mostly just indifferent.
The new supply isn't BETTER, it's just NEW. That novelty ALWAYS wears off. The narcissist always ends up on the SAME EXACT square as before. Then another person. Same thing. It's a looping script. They think it'll change. They do the same thing expecting a different result bc they don't like change and being wrong. Then blame ALLLL 100 people they ran through, as just being stupid. 😂
What a brilliant video! You are so spot on and right on point. Thank you, Jess, for sharing with us through your videos on these parasites known as narcissists.
He started that nit picking, critical phase after the love bombing. I was like, "You don't like me anymore?" It was so weird! Luckily we weren't even in the same state. Dodged a bullet.
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD .......people who are always bored are always boring.......my beloved Jess Stanley who have perfectly and eloquently described my narcissistic earthly father. ughh, he is so uninterestingly, lifelessly and agonizingly dull. you Jess Stanley are on the other hand are bright, intelligent, exciting, fascinating and lively. God bless. Agape love
@@paige7684 i am honoring my evil and demonic earthly father and that is by going no contact on that sick, old and decrepit creature. my earthly narcissistic father failed miserably to uphold his parental privilege, And ye FATHERS provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. (Ephesians 6:4 KJV). God bless. Agape love
@@brotherhype-maninchristjes2766 "Because honouring parents is part of honouring G-d, the commandment does not depend on the worthiness of the parent: Even if his father is wicked and a sinner, he must fear and revere him. One must not curse or despise his father." (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:13,25) The commandment is repeated eight times throughout the bible. What you referenced is a lesson to parents but it doesn't give a green light for the sons and daughters to dishonor their parent if they fail in basic obligations towards them. My father too has caused irreparable damage. It's been one of my difficult challenges to honor him when he calls me but if we're talking the standards of G-d here, we're not permitted to call them out as you're doing. Exodus 20:12 - Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you. The only reference I found where one can disobey a parent before marriage is if they try to influence their children to idol worship. The extent of honouring a toxic parent is by not cussing them, driving them around if they need a ride somewhere, small displays of respect will suffice. I'm only sharing this cause you appear to take God's thoughts on things seriously.
After several weeks of no contact, I ran into my ex at work. I tried avoiding her at all cost but because I’m her superior officer, she asked me a question. Of course, I have to help her because that’s who I am, I helped her. After that, we went our own ways. After leaving from work, and traveling down the Main Street, I observed several cars on the side of the road with their hazards on. Of course one of the cars belonged to my ex and there she is standing on the side of the road. Being who I am I stopped and helped her out putting the spare tire on for her. After that I wished her a safe ride home and immediately after , I received no ID call from her and it came up this way because I have blocked her on every facet of communication. Not answering, I received two mor calls from her on my drive home. No thank you. I gave you enough of my time already.
Could you do a show on signs you are being used as a narcissist"s back up, I get weird texts from my ex girlfreind narcissist , I think I am her bread glass incase of emergency guy ?? How to tell if you ex is stringing you along , wont let you go and just keeps you fed just enough to keep you around just incase ?? Does this happen ? Seems every couple of weeks a get a Ha how are you , I am fine text ?? am I backup or on the shelf ? ?? could you do a show on the facts of such a thing ?? Love you Jess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have to keep themselves some how in ur mind so u don't move on. Things are going crappy for them and they're getting ready for a discard again. Spice things up they're getting bored. They may need to jump back to home base to recalibrate for a new thing that comes along
I'm not sure this is the right angle to look at this. While it is true we go through a very confusing stage in the relationship where nothing we do seems to do a lick of good and we wrestle in our minds trying to figure what we could have done different but it is in vein because it is all a part of the narcissists delusion. Before I knew what it was I was dealing with I remember clearly going from contrition to wholly rejecting her. So much as I told her flat out that she is not good enough for me. Granted I remained at odds with myself for some time, my brain having been successfully shoved into the Cuisinart. Whatever shine was rubbing off of me the same could be said of her. The love bombing stage was a special time and as much as I wondered how to get that back knowing what I know now it's not like it would mean a thing to have it back knowing she was faking it or put more precisely it was just a symptom of her malady. There just isn't anything she could do to win me back. I'm reminded of a Pink Floyd song: "Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere, and build them a home a little place of their own, the Fletcher Memorial Home for incurable tyrants and kings, and they can appear to themselves everyday, on closed circuit tv, to make sure they're still real, the only connection they feel"
Jess- this sounds so familiar. Oddly my ex NARC’s NS (if ~2 years)…. Well NS moved in. Red flags galore. I see them both frequently as they’re now neighbors. I just cannot figure it out. Why is NS still here? Hmmm I want to be a fly on the wall. (And I also do not)- insanely curious since NS moved into “my life”. And stent it’s not the dream is hoped for. Ex narc has not changed. Narc needs NS for fuel. $$$. Ammunition. Help. Gosh knows what else. My theory is NS is desperate and codependent. And our child is being used to lure NS. Thoughts?!?!
I actually asked him at one stage is there anything lm doing right because it seems u see all my flaws and l,ll just never be good enough he said oh u are good u just need some fine tunning l though and said lm a fucking person not a piano u cant fine tune me lm not perfect but l do my best like he had all this advise and criticism on how l raised my 4 kids mostly by myself and lv crohns disease and a rare blood cancer not able to work cos lm not well enough on disability allowance he had no kids but was an expert on how to raise them and constantly criticising my way of parenting obviously l wasnt the perfect mother due to my health but l did my best and lv got good kids
At the end of my 31 year marriage to an EXTREMELY narcissistic woman, I asked her if there was ANYTHING good in the 31 years. She shook her head no. I asked again, she again shook her head no. They think in black and white terms, all good or all bad. They have no gray area.
No matter what I did to prove my love for him, he moved the goal posts...he wasn't ever satisfied. I'm glad it's over ✌
True.. Even if we rip our heart out and plate it in front of them,, it's never going to be,, nothing is going to be ever enough for them..
SAME..PEACE
Hi Naomi I learned you can't prove nothing to them no matter what you try to do it's never going to be good enough that's just the way they are I thought mine really love me too but one morning she picked a fight with my daughter over some nonsense I just don't play that game she got all mad and pissed I really didn't understand at the time but I was dealing with a narcissist but it didn't take me long to find out by watching these videos they have been really helpful and it does hurt sometimes when you think about things but for the most part I'm doing better now I'm healing going right at 6 months now and so quiet and peaceful I don't know how to act hang in there though it will get better eventually it just takes time
@@twinklehussain1011 hey there twinkle they don't mind they have no empathy they could careless I know how I feel with my ripped my heart out to and stomp on it hand it back to you like nothing ever happened and then they're gone but hang in there it will eventually get better it just takes time even though it still might hurt sometimes but we will eventually heal hang in there
When u look at some of the folks commenting on TH-cam vids they're gorgeous so it's obvious that no matter how good looking, how banging your body of how charismatic you are it really isn't enough for them.
Narcs don't know what they want,I'm not gonna emotionally hold someone's hand until they figure it out. These people need to grow up.
Exactly
They CANT. it's a DISORDER. If they've been STUCK for decades, what makes you think they'll get u stuck now? There's no cure. This info is widely available.
@@daviedood2503 I'm just done,they need help and they only can get the help they need but won't do it,I pray for them that they will and that's it.
Narcissistic personalities live in perpetual unhappiness and can only find fleeting satisfaction.
5 months survivor here! Still ruff sometimes.. ran into him and his new supply a few weeks ago.. he had to make it very clear that she was the new love of his life.. hurt at first but realizing its all bs
I wouldn't be able to handle that. But same thing, he discarded me over the phone and made it sound like he was gonna walk down the aisle with someone he met on Tinder. Sad.
Hi Jesyka I can definitely relate to you how it feels because it does hurt at times and it does get kind of rough too mine discarded me 5 months ago going on 6 months things are going fairly decent so I thought and one morning she decided jump on my daughter but no reason over some nonsense but when she did that that was a no no and I stopped it that's when she blew up at me and stormed up out of here I have heard from her but I hadn't ran into her in town or nothing but I know she's with somebody else I'm sure of it I just haven't seen them but I really don't give a care I'm better off by myself but it does get rough sometimes but for the most part I'm going to make it though we'll just have to be strong but I know that's easier said than done sometimes the hang in there don't let him discourage you we are survivors we will make it just take it one day at a time
I'm sorry you went thru that, but remember, that will NOT LAST! 👍
This really helps put my relationship with my ex in perspective. I got to the point in my relationship where I dreaded every mistake I made or was going to make.
Before I knew it, I was walking on eggshells as well. I knew any screw up, I wouldn’t hear the end of it. I met a man recently that I always tried to do thoughtful things for. I went on a business trip I picked him up a souvenir or send him pics of things I think he’d appreciate. Yesterday I didn’t do one thing which was share a post on social media of his podcast. I honestly forgot. He made a snarky comment thanking me for forgetting. I apologized ( a terrible habit) and he said yeah “yeah yeah geez”. Nope, not going down this road again.
🚩
Same here mate. 😔
I pray to left him. !!
Or if he left you then Thank God!!
This was exactly the question I asked, when I learned about the new supply and I was discarded..."Why wasn't I enough on my own to hold your attention?"
I don't care what they're looking for. I care about what I'm looking for.
They are the ones that lose their "luster". They aren't enough.
they are BULLSHIT
Omg!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!! I have ALWAYS said that! People who are bored, are boring!!! It doesn't make sense to me.
'Good enough,' you know why 'you' weren't 'good enough?' Because you don't accept their behavior. That's why they go to/back to supply ... the supply validates their stupidity, oh I mean 'arrested development.'
They hate boredom because it might cause some sort of self-reflection. Self reflection is too painful, so they ANYTHING to avoid it.
These people need to be put on an island together.
Not being enough is real and can stem from childhood trauma yet we seem to go for people that have similar attributes to the ones that traumatized us. It’s critical to see this otherwise you will be down trodden always striving to be appreciated and excepted and always coming up empty-handed. This video illustrates the simple truths and should be taken to heart.
I did the same thing!!
I married at 43
I said to myself “ well I was never married so I guess I have to work with him
Bull shit!!!!
I ‘m divorced now and happy again !!
I did exactly the same thing as you and for years: making excuses for the bad behavior, etc. Wow, this video was my life. Thank you Jess!
This is so spot on! The harem!! always at the ready. . . .
I told him point blank: I do not want to form part of your harem. He said ' What are you talking about?'. He denied it every time....
I feel so broken.
Yes Mine idolized other people's wives & girlfriends...while I was being abused on all levels
It's insidious * your description hits closest I've seen out of all the women.
I became the literal oppitome of perfection a stepford wife doormat!! Our entire relationship I wasn't ever complimented or thanked. The goalposts always mosted
Worst of all we have a child so even after I finally kicked him out I still endured abuse from him on every level & due to the cognitive dissonance kept letting him back in time & time again only to be devalued and discarded. Over & over again. I've lost 17 years of my life
Still to this day he's never admitted any wrongdoing or been sorry or acknowledged any thankfulness for me.
& our teen decides to go live with him she also became abusive to me like a mini him imitating him. After he had discarded her & I both her entire life
It's a special nightmare to be living in.
I feel you. Almost the same situation here but I've got my boys still. He pits them against me constantly and I want to move out of state. I can't stand him and his evil anymore
So strange, when MY Dad, Mom, Brother and our Son died through the years, my narc (almost ex husband), expected me to console him, but he was never there for me. And he was terribly jealous of our Son and what he achieved, always telling him he was a loser etc. (Our son was a pilot, age 24 when he died).
Narcissim is a defiance, against shame..PEACE
Their expectations make you walk on eggshells and have anxiety about everything you do. I would worry all day about the meal I was cooking or the food I was buying in case he kicked off about it, what life is that?? 18 year sentence for me
Yes. So sad bit resonates. Eggshells. Awful. ☹️ sending 💛
I am a constant case of anxiety now. Feeling anxious and guilty for giving myself space. Feeling anxious and guilty whenever I am around him because of how he treats me. It breaks my heart to remember when I used to look forward to his presence.
Hi there nothing you could ever do will ever be good enough for them that is just the way they are
A narcissist is never enough for the people who have the misfortune to interact with him/her
I realized from examining my own self that the thing that hooked me into the narcissist was my own ego or possible lack of.. She was highly attractive and I was riding high on what I thought was my good fortune. Even after I discovered that she was no good I continued to try and stroke my own ego by staying with her. I suppose she purposely left open her email account and I read some emails her ex had written her. It was a horrible read this man crying like a baby. Begging her to return and offering gifts.. I told her I read her emails. She didnt care didnt show any emotion.. That was the end for me..
Yep they wanted u to find it. See YOU were the new supply. And that man was like the others here thinking YOU TWO would ride off in the sunset all happy forever. He was thinking you were better than him and she changed for YOU etc.
I say this bc ur the first new supply perisn I've came across. Everyone was always the old supply with no clue where or who the new supply is.
This is reassuring that even with the new supply they don't ever chnsge or care.
They ain't nothing that you could ever do will be good enough for one no matter what I've come to find that out
The eggshells were so true.
I had put up with enough from my ex and I knew the days were numbered, he killed any affection I had for him. I was there listening to his problems trying to help and give him advice of course I got nothing back, the affection died a long time ago. The final straw was witnessing him be violent towards a friend when I complained and also said he knew I hated violence, he told me if I did not like it to F off, that really was a lightbulb moment, who likes to witness violence unless you are sick in the head, which he was. I walked away at this point and finally have got him out my life. I ran into him a week later and we both ignored each other, great just how I wanted it for a long time but never had the strength to do it before, so no I was not enough for him and don’t want to be, these creatures are sick.
Your ex sounds like he didn't have the ability to give you any decent advice & care back if he's so unrefined & primitive in mind & spirit to stoop to physically assaulting anyone,especially the friends you care about.
You probably did yourself a life saving favour for severing ties with that guy, because if you showed that you were going to accept his violent ways when he gave you the option to F off if you didn't like his violence, I have NO doubt that he would have escalated his violence to the point where it would have inevitably involved you personally.
You deserve to be with a good person like yourself that aspires to the same high standards that you do
@@carpathianken thank you, no he wasn’t, capable, he was slowly destroying me mentally and spiritually and I don’t doubt physically too eventually. His violence would have been projected at me at some point. He is a lost cause and I have no feelings for him at all. When I ran into him his face was all battered and bruised another friend told me he had fell over twice, I call that poetic justice and karma doing her thing. Blessings to you.
You will never be good enough to the wrong person 👍 up Jess and survivors and thrivers 🙏
My ex narc always hold my hands in the public to show that she care, but in the house behind close door I wasn’t going through hell.
Yes
I was finally discarded 2 months ago... and I found out that there is already a new supply; ready when he broke up... so she was already "waiting" in the background... nice right? I am so broken und I am ruminating all day long... and yes, asking myself "was it not enough, should I have done more?" Walking on eggshells all the time... It is really sad, not sure if I will even survive this pain...
You’ll be OK. I’m going through the same thing it’s been about a week now since I haven’t talk to him but every day gets better. Some days all I can do is think about them even if I don’t want to I try and try not to and pray and ask God to take it away but like I said with each day that goes bye your heart to able to breathe a little bit more every day
You will survive. Nothing written in stone that says recovery is immediate. It's a tragedy when you have true love for someone and you discover it was not mutual. Keep in mind a narc has a personality disorder and is mentally ill which explains their lack of empathy and inability to love. The pain, jealousy, the feeling of betrayal, the love we may still have for the narc is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of being human with a soul. I still have feelings for the female narc that invaded my life, but she is sad, pathetic and a hopeless case and I' ve gone no contact and have not responded to any recent hoovers. I keep it moving, write it off as someone who has become dead to me. Empathetic people learn from life and get stronger spiritually , narcs never do and remain lost without a soul.
You can, you’re going to be ok, who you thought he was, he wasn’t, when I was, brutally discarded, it was coming for a good while, I could feel it. I called him out on his stuff he said he didn’t like me anymore, last thing he said to me while I was crying on the phone, was, what do you want to say, remember this will be the last time you ever talk to me, I said, that I didn’t want to break up. Phone slammed down, within seconds he blocked me. I was in shock, bereft and couldn’t believe it, the previous day he called me saying how much he missed me!!!! They are empty and don’t know how to love and for that alone, be so glad you do. I know you are hurting and it’s a tough road to begin with, but you’ll get there and remember you have something he will never have, the ability to feel and understand what you’re feeling xxx
@@sugarsnap1000 Seems like you went through the same thing as me almost, the pain is unreal. 🌻 hugs and strength to all survivors
Which version will I get today? YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. Such correct statements.... It has nothing to do with us.
I think the biggest problem we all faced was when we observed someone with their lips planted firmly around their own asshole our brains automatically blocked it out because it was too horrible to know their are people feeding themselves this way.
That's the thing with us. Genuine and they are not. That's why it hurts so much.
Thank you Jess, for bringing up narc perfection and "not being enough". The narcissist constantly talked about perfection, i.e., she wanted everything perfect. Of course, this was never in reference to inner or spiritual perfection, it was always about things, mostly mundane, etc. etc. etc.. if perfection is all about cheating and lying and abusing people she managed to , in the time I've known her, create a perfect narcissistic manifestation of a real jerk....thanks for continuing to help us with this so helpful information, Jess! 💞🙏🕊
Never enough !! That's the truth !!!
YES and I so wish I knew this when I was a child. N. adoptive mother destroyed any confidence I might have grown into and gave me a very low self worth. Thankfully having finally had a fantastic husband for 31 years he rebuilt most of what she tried to destroy. He has been gone 5 years now and every day I so appreciate how he helped me to hold my own against controlling people. I pretty much tell it like it is when some one keeps trying to push me into what they think I should be. Or mostly just shrug and say well that is great you do you. I will continue to do me. Not a mean reaction mostly just indifferent.
👍👍👍
Again, I said before: why would anyone give you a thumbs down?! Probably narcissists.
Very True !
❤ ty so much this is so true
Thanks Jess❤
SO true!! 👏👏🤪
The new supply isn't BETTER, it's just NEW. That novelty ALWAYS wears off. The narcissist always ends up on the SAME EXACT square as before. Then another person. Same thing. It's a looping script. They think it'll change. They do the same thing expecting a different result bc they don't like change and being wrong. Then blame ALLLL 100 people they ran through, as just being stupid. 😂
Hey Jess, Glad I stopped by to listen to another GREAT VIDEO. LOVE WHAT YOU BRING TO THE TABLE. LOVE YOUR PHOTO 2. PEACE.
Thanks for another brilliant video Jess.
What a brilliant video! You are so spot on and right on point. Thank you, Jess, for sharing with us through your videos on these parasites known as narcissists.
He started that nit picking, critical phase after the love bombing. I was like, "You don't like me anymore?" It was so weird! Luckily we weren't even in the same state. Dodged a bullet.
Love u as always Jess u help me alot xxx
Hey jess!! Thanks again!
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD .......people who are always bored are always boring.......my beloved Jess Stanley who have perfectly and eloquently described my narcissistic earthly father. ughh, he is so uninterestingly, lifelessly and agonizingly dull. you Jess Stanley are on the other hand are bright, intelligent, exciting, fascinating and lively. God bless. Agape love
Honour your father and mother even when they don't deserve it. Jesus taught that.
@@paige7684 i am honoring my evil and demonic earthly father and that is by going no contact on that sick, old and decrepit creature. my earthly narcissistic father failed miserably to uphold his parental privilege, And ye FATHERS provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. (Ephesians 6:4 KJV). God bless. Agape love
@@brotherhype-maninchristjes2766
"Because honouring parents is part of honouring G-d, the commandment does not depend on the worthiness of the parent: Even if his father is wicked and a sinner, he must fear and revere him. One must not curse or despise his father." (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:13,25)
The commandment is repeated eight times throughout the bible. What you referenced is a lesson to parents but it doesn't give a green light for the sons and daughters to dishonor their parent if they fail in basic obligations towards them.
My father too has caused irreparable damage. It's been one of my difficult challenges to honor him when he calls me but if we're talking the standards of G-d here, we're not permitted to call them out as you're doing.
Exodus 20:12 - Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.
The only reference I found where one can disobey a parent before marriage is if they try to influence their children to idol worship. The extent of honouring a toxic parent is by not cussing them, driving them around if they need a ride somewhere, small displays of respect will suffice.
I'm only sharing this cause you appear to take God's thoughts on things seriously.
After several weeks of no contact, I ran into my ex at work. I tried avoiding her at all cost but because I’m her superior officer, she asked me a question. Of course, I have to help her because that’s who I am, I helped her. After that, we went our own ways. After leaving from work, and traveling down the Main Street, I observed several cars on the side of the road with their hazards on. Of course one of the cars belonged to my ex and there she is standing on the side of the road. Being who I am I stopped and helped her out putting the spare tire on for her. After that I wished her a safe ride home and immediately after , I received no ID call from her and it came up this way because I have blocked her on every facet of communication. Not answering, I received two mor calls from her on my drive home. No thank you. I gave you enough of my time already.
Another lovely video. Learning and encouraging thanks for posting
❤️ Thank you Jess
Could you do a show on signs you are being used as a narcissist"s back up, I get weird texts from my ex girlfreind narcissist , I think I am her bread glass incase of
emergency guy ?? How to tell if you ex is stringing you along , wont let you go and just keeps you fed just enough to keep you around just incase ?? Does this happen ?
Seems every couple of weeks a get a Ha how are you , I am fine text ?? am I backup or on the shelf ? ?? could you do a show on the facts of such a thing ??
Love you Jess !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They are always looking and on the prowl. Block and ignore. They do not change.
They have to keep themselves some how in ur mind so u don't move on. Things are going crappy for them and they're getting ready for a discard again. Spice things up they're getting bored. They may need to jump back to home base to recalibrate for a new thing that comes along
How do I get in to the Live Stream in 12 minutes? I have the notification bell on...
Iwas glad to see you there
It was really great attending! Thank you!
Thank you for this info, it soothes my hearth. Love from 🇲🇽
Thanks. Love your channel
I'm not sure this is the right angle to look at this. While it is true we go through a very confusing stage in the relationship where nothing we do seems to do a lick of good and we wrestle in our minds trying to figure what we could have done different but it is in vein because it is all a part of the narcissists delusion. Before I knew what it was I was dealing with I remember clearly going from contrition to wholly rejecting her. So much as I told her flat out that she is not good enough for me. Granted I remained at odds with myself for some time, my brain having been successfully shoved into the Cuisinart. Whatever shine was rubbing off of me the same could be said of her. The love bombing stage was a special time and as much as I wondered how to get that back knowing what I know now it's not like it would mean a thing to have it back knowing she was faking it or put more precisely it was just a symptom of her malady. There just isn't anything she could do to win me back.
I'm reminded of a Pink Floyd song: "Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere, and build them a home a little place of their own, the Fletcher Memorial Home for incurable tyrants and kings, and they can appear to themselves everyday, on closed circuit tv, to make sure they're still real, the only connection they feel"
❤
Jess- this sounds so familiar. Oddly my ex NARC’s NS (if ~2 years)…. Well NS moved in. Red flags galore. I see them both frequently as they’re now neighbors. I just cannot figure it out. Why is NS still here? Hmmm I want to be a fly on the wall. (And I also do not)- insanely curious since NS moved into “my life”. And stent it’s not the dream is hoped for. Ex narc has not changed. Narc needs NS for fuel. $$$. Ammunition. Help. Gosh knows what else. My theory is NS is desperate and codependent. And our child is being used to lure NS. Thoughts?!?!
Jess your cool as fuck.
Appreciate your channel.
I was with diagnosed narc. All U say happened and was true.
I actually asked him at one stage is there anything lm doing right because it seems u see all my flaws and l,ll just never be good enough he said oh u are good u just need some fine tunning l though and said lm a fucking person not a piano u cant fine tune me lm not perfect but l do my best like he had all this advise and criticism on how l raised my 4 kids mostly by myself and lv crohns disease and a rare blood cancer not able to work cos lm not well enough on disability allowance he had no kids but was an expert on how to raise them and constantly criticising my way of parenting obviously l wasnt the perfect mother due to my health but l did my best and lv got good kids
Fuck Sakes, JESS; you lay it on the line!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it frowned upon to book a chat just for general banter and mildly ribald flirting?
Rick, you honestly would not be the first lol