Leaving the Narc after 18 years was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, he tried everything to hurt me, including alienating our son. I did not react to any of his antics, his craziness was off the wall but I stayed strong. You need support from others to get through it, but it’s worth it when you come out the other side, peace, calm and freedom.
I ghosted him and remained in no contact zone because I knew he would manipulate and gaslight me if I told him it was over. Though I felt guilty about the ghosting, I knew it was the right thing to do for me.
No contact is SALVATION! Believe me, it took a long four years to get off the hamster wheel with the ex narc including the triangulation with the new supply. The last time I saw him he was so unattractive both physically and mentally (he has a drug addiction that he thinks he can hide) but all the time that I had educating myself through Jess' channel and getting some good therapy, it made it so easy to let go of my empathic emotion of feeling sorry for him or thinking maybe one more time... Letting go and realizing that there is so much more to life than precious time on these peeps. Don't harbor the resentment as karma has an address. Thanks Jess for a great message today!
The hamster wheel is a good description! I am 3 months no contact and still hurting. Trying to move on but it’s so hard to break that addictive cycle we had! 🙏🏻
@@melissakendhammer6893 Stay strong sister - think with your logic and not emotion! Don't waste another day of your precious life - someone out there deserves YOU!
1 year today NC...once your clear of their actions,voice and manipulation, the fog lifts and you really and I mean really see them for who they are..soulless, vicious and absolutely determined to destroy you...don't let them..they have no control unless you give it to them..be gentle with your self as you heal..they are just people,broken and damaged..no pedestals for them..blessing to all❤
Such a waste of time and resources these people make us go through. Thats the only regret that we made a terrible mistake and wasted so much precious time on nothing. What a drag.
I don't know how many times I had suicidal thoughts. Now after many years I see that the thoughts were just dumb. They will never be worth MY life. Its so hard to see at first but eventually you get away long enough, life does get better. I was raised by narc mom and had too many of the same in my life. Still learning to avoid them and heal me. I'm 60 now. Time is of the essence.
I'm 61 and I will be 62 in the autumn this year. I deal with the narc 12 years and left him September 2020 but it's never to late to leave. Just did it and I planned it really carefully for month (hidden all plans for him) as Jess say us to do. Good for me we do not have children together and we were not married - so in one point I was capable to do something about it - at least.
61 here your story is my story now that he's gone my plan now is to make the best memories with my kids a grandbabies ever and have the best times of my life getting stronger every day 💗the best of times for you as well
@@sunnydaye5942 I'm so sorry I have one son that has turned on me too I have a granddaughter that's 3 weeks old and haven't met her yet my son use his kids as pwans to manipulate me 😪 I guess he learned from the best 😢all I can do is wait and stand my ground I will not let him or anyone else to abuse me again, take good care of yourself I feel your pain
YES, i'm doing NO CONTACT for my own good. it's not a revenge or punishment for her. it's going 6 months come July. nothing personal, FLAT OUT,,,,, thank you jess! stay awesome always!
The last time I dumped my ex husband I asked him to get out my apartment and he left thank god, however I had plans just in case he had refuse . I had already purchased new locks. After he left I went completely NO CONTACT until time for divorce hearing.
"A list of goods and services.." I started out as a "soulmate-" (her words) but that's what I ended up being. Going no-contact has been an antidote to this.
My Narc will act like breaking up doesn’t matter to them, at all. Dismissive. Oh well. They shrug. It’s amazing. I think I like the idea of flipping this on them as if breaking up is their choice. Gaslight them.
@@melissaburt211 You make up your mind to get out and take the time to emotionally distance yourself. The further away you get emotionally, the less supply you will offer them and they will of course, go and find a new supply. By the time they stop having a use for you and decide to discard, you should be in a much better mental and emotional state to move on. And they will likely never hoover you again.
@@jgoobix thank you for this! I have been gradually feeling this emotional distancing within myself once I became conscious and aware of what has been really going on. .. it's like you can't unlearn it.. and I see it in many of the things he says and does.. thank you again
Everything you said is spot on. Once we radically accept the truth that we are nothing more than a list of goods and services for the narcisist , we go no contact and we start loving and respecting ourselves and living our best lives, it is over and the truth will really set us free! Thank you 🙏
I also blocked her from my phone, my social media, we both owned our own property. No problems on my end. I now live a normal, peaceful life. Narcissist are a bad person to be associated with.
Me and my ex narc went through three brake ups and make up, so when I left him the forth time he knew there wasn't nothing else he could of done to hover OR love boom me. Nothing else was able to work on me anymore, his words meant NOTHING. So he never reached out to me, in fact I was delighted and was not looking forward to hearing from him in no way. So he did me a favor.
Because their good at what they due. Their so toxic they don't even understand themselves. Just be happy you learned it through someone else or your own experience. Let go and move on far away. Treat them like they died.
Hey Jess, thank you!. After a lot of research and videos I watched just looking for answers, I walked away too without any word. What a relief for my soul indeed, and went through the grieving stages as well.
As I'm watching this video my soon to be x is begging me to stay. It has been a nightmare. The silent treatment. Withholding sex arrogant selfish the lies the disrespect. I can go on and on. I gave him 3 days to get out. Hopefully I never look back. Congratulations to everyone who's gotten out of the dark insidious spell of a narcissist. It's something I've never experienced before him and I am in my 50s
He intentionally got me fired and took no accountability, no remorse, just coldness as he left me to struggle.🤨 Thank God because my opportunities, money and happiness multiplied over!😆💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾Point is, there's life, true joy and peace after those stains. Focus on that!❤
Thank you Jess, you’re a wise inspirational lady! I’m finding it so hard my anxiety is through the roof at the moment! I will carry on with the no contact though, still feeling so sad, I’ve been sucked in all too often! 😢
Hi Jess! Thank you for this video! Well, it’s too late for me to dump this narc because she already dumped me but I certainly can gray rock her….I am finally learning how to do that and I think it’s working somewhat! At least I’m not thinking about or feeling like my day is consumed with the narcissist as it once was as I went through the seven stages of grief that you mentioned today….Thank you for continuing to do what you’re doing! It helps so many of us so much! Lots of love, Jess! ❤️🙏🏻🕊❤️
You can do it! You’re not weak, just hurt..just keep listening to Jess. She knows what she’s talking about. How I know is, because I was her as well. I was with a grandiose narc. I’ve seen n heard it all, been through this n that. Not one thing Jess is saying is wrong! Just stay strong Survivor! 💙
@@daniellemarseco3335 Thank you Danielle! "Friggin' nightmare" is so true! Jess is the best! We are so lucky to have Jess as a source of sensible guidance....You stay strong, too, Survivor! 🕊
Thank you for this one, I was feeling bad for not apologizing or something. I don't owe him 'jack' nor 'shit'! About 9:40 really spoke to me. Thank you so much.
I think people like myself have some issues that go deeper than I thought possible. Best advice I can give is to listen to what Jess is saying.. Shes a much nicer person than me.. And not all circumstances are the same..
Just I love the sound of your voice ❤️ you cut me listening you're so beautiful intelligent and informative I love what you're doing performing a public service your show's so much appreciated live from Akron Ohio hoping you have a great day
Thank you. I left my narcissist. Then felt so guilty because I didn’t say anything and got hovered back in And am trying to extricate myself out which means cutting myself away and just doing it. It’s hard though.
My ex tries to hoover and love bomb. I finally got her to let me talk to our kids. Now that i have direct conversations with our kids and she doesn't really hear from me, she plays the victim and wonders why i haven't talked to her
Hey Jess.this whole thing is new for me.but your videos are a ray of light and very much appreciated.and the lack of cheesey music is a win..big love to you.thanks for being real and helping disolve the confusion!
Mine never let me go. I asked for break up and no contact multiple times but everytime he would just come up with his sweet face and emotional arguments and I would give him another chance (I would judge myself for trying to leave him). He was regularly talking to his ex gf and whenever I fought over this issue, he blamed me for not respecting his privacy (again I judged myself for doubting him). He would apologise so perfectly after every toxic incident that I would fall in the trap. My condition deteriorated, I started getting panic attacks and apparently, calling him, hearing his voice(as an assurance that he was into me and not with someone else) would calm me for sometime. But on the whole, my panicking just got higher on average basis. He was silently trying to win his ex gf back and simultaneously keeping me as a back up. But he got so pissed off with my regular calls and my condition (which he didn’t want to take care of) that he himself broke up and told me that we had moved on. I got to know from somewhere that he met his ex (ironically, just 4 days before that he begged me to continue the relationship with him as he could not lead a life without me). Yes, I felt rejected and cheated but somewhere in my heart, I felt free. Since he was the one breaking up, I had an escape. I kept fuelling his ego for few weeks by telling him how much I missed him and I am still waiting till I knew it was safe to go no contact. I was in a very bad state but my panic attacks reduced after he set me free and within 15 days, they were just gone! Trust your instincts, they are alwaysssss right. I knew somewhere that I was with the wrong person because I believed my intuition and listening to my body. I also admitted to myself that I am badly entangled in a toxic situation and it would take time to get out and heal. My brain just made me do the right things- fuelling his ego, letting him be the bigger person and silently leaving. I was then free, I took support of my friends, meditated, cried it out, played guitar half of the day, cultivated self love etc etc. I am free and happy now. I also look back and learn from the toxic patterns of my life. To anyone of you going through it, I would just say that trust your body, your intuition, and love yourself. God bless you.
Excellent video. As usual….no contact is my male X Favorite torture and treatment to get me back in line and not confront him for things I didn’t agree with….no contact after a breakup is closure..it’s difficult because I was brainwashed by this man…I don’t have to walk on eggs anymore…
Thank you for this Jess. I managed to end it with my ex after he was giving me the silent treatment for something horrible he did to me and I called him out on it. Luckily I did not live with him, and in fact I already had gone through the grieving process while I was with him, we had ended a few times and I had got to the point I no longer cared about him. Anyway, I knew he would not talk to me so I text him and told him I never wanted to see or speak to him again. I knew he would not reply but it gave me closure. I run into him a few days after this, he was waiting for me to speak to him but i turned my back on him, ignored him, and walked away, that was the best feeling in the world.
Nicely said.. I'm definitely of situation in general... Really bad and I don't see that it's going to be any better soon or ever... I'm definitely keeping track and dates how this is unfolding and one day ,I know,we'll put this together and then I will know for sure what was behind all of this till then I raise my hands to the sky helpless I'll be patient and I will wait.
I’m glad I listened bcuz for a second I wanted to communicate that I cared but this is t gonna work but the. I thought if he responds without care that wud even hurt me more but understanding you can’t do things the correct way with narc. He has to pick up some things but he doesn’t know it’ll our last time. Didn’t want to go no contact until he had his things so he’ll have no reason to come back or communicate! Thxs
I'm so happy I lefted. I know it hurt him and he's now acting like he's happy and doing better. That's bs because a narc is never completely happy. Im in my 6th week and no contact for 3 weeks or more. I stop counting honestly. I'm working on myself and staying far away from him. I will heal and be the best version of myself. He will come back. This narc is friends with all his ex and I just realized that. So disgusting and disappointing. Over time I know when he sees me again its going to be drama. He's going to want me back. He didn't even want to break up. I made my decision. The best decision 😊.
I am trying really hard to discard this shit person. I have tried everything, even going no contact but he always success in reaching me. Often I have thought moving abroad to be free from this evil monster.
In one of our separation times, she put a 9mm pistol in the living room when I was moving my things to my home. I am debating getting a restraining order on her, though she lives in another state. I'm not sure about that now.
I am trying to figure it out how to get away from him,, I told my Dr about the physical abuse and the Dr contacted him but no police have showed up to arrest him,, he is worried now and said he has to watch what he says and does for the present ,, he is worried
I've stuck to my guns but if my Mother had approached me at my Brother's wedding I would of grey rocked before politely excusing myself to another part of the venue.
Actually, it IS possible to get away clean if you have kids. At least, in my case. I'm currently pregnant but we're not married and were never married. And no I don't plan on co-parenting with him. I was willing to, he ruined that option because I no longer wanted a relationship and that's all he cared about. Started doing shit to try and cause emotional stress KNOWING that I am currently with child after asking for peace. Broke into my apartment. Threatened me. This isn't someone that is fit to be a parent let alone co-parent with. Of course now he's begging and pleading that we can be "friends" and co-parent because he would have no other access to me other than my baby and he's NOT going to use my baby, yes MY baby because I'm the one who truly cares about the well being of this child. NOPE! I've already been advised by close friends and even when I went to file for a restraining order, they told me that I didn't have to put him on the birth certificate and I'm not! My baby won't have his last name either. This isn't done out of spite, this is me protecting my child, my peace, and choosing not to allow this POS to feel like he has any ownership over me because he doesn't. Good luck ladies.
After all the mistreatment, neglect, cheating, lies, list goes on and on, I am finally trying to put an end to this whole ordeal. He never visited me for the past 3 years and now when I finally want to move on, and after even he agreed on splitting up, he just doesn't take no for an answer. I am a bit worried he might show up on my door and I tried my best to tell him crystal clear that I don't want to be with him anymore, but he doesn't take me seriously.. what should I do???? The last email he talks about is when he "falsely" confessed he was stringing me along for fun and cos he enjoy seeing me suffering (i believe the confession wasn't fake). What to do? What if he show up on my door? We live in different countries but seeing how crazy he is I am afraid what he might do.. once he hinted about hurting my family, and another time as joke he told me "if you say no (sexual context) that mean yes, right?"... Any advice is welcomed..
The key is NOT to get into a relationship in the FIRST PLACE with the Narcissist. Learn the "Early warning" red flags and DO NOT overlook the red flags as something else. They ALL operate from the same "Playbook"
Like NIKE says... JUST DO IT... Quietly Sneak Out and go GONE FOR GOOD, COMPLETELY DARK, NO CONTACT all the way...
Lol, yes just do it!
"You don't owe them jack nor shit" im dead🤣
Yep princess Diana we don't owe them anything
Leaving the Narc after 18 years was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, he tried everything to hurt me, including alienating our son. I did not react to any of his antics, his craziness was off the wall but I stayed strong. You need support from others to get through it, but it’s worth it when you come out the other side, peace, calm and freedom.
Yes the Other side of peace, freedom I left my narc husband 10 months ago after a 33 year marriage finally healing ❤️🩹
It is the hardest thing to do 22yrs here's all I feel now is pitty that he'll never experience true unconditional love he'll just die alone 💔
Peace calm and freedom, so well said..
Your strong girl! ♥️
I left a narcissist a little over a year ago, I went ghost, no contact or communication...ever!
I ghosted him and remained in no contact zone because I knew he would manipulate and gaslight me if I told him it was over. Though I felt guilty about the ghosting, I knew it was the right thing to do for me.
Same.
Same here!!
Don't feel guilty at all, and another thing don't let them stay rent free in your head 🗣️
This is my current situation.....Day 4 of Operation 👻 that Asshole
It’s not as hard as you think no contact and stay no contact
It sure ain't its little difficult in the beginning but it gets lesser with time, it's a beautiful feeling cutting narcs out of your life.
No contact is SALVATION! Believe me, it took a long four years to get off the hamster wheel with the ex narc including the triangulation with the new supply. The last time I saw him he was so unattractive both physically and mentally (he has a drug addiction that he thinks he can hide) but all the time that I had educating myself through Jess' channel and getting some good therapy, it made it so easy to let go of my empathic emotion of feeling sorry for him or thinking maybe one more time... Letting go and realizing that there is so much more to life than precious time on these peeps. Don't harbor the resentment as karma has an address. Thanks Jess for a great message today!
The hamster wheel is a good description! I am 3 months no contact and still hurting. Trying to move on but it’s so hard to break that addictive cycle we had! 🙏🏻
@@melissakendhammer6893 Stay strong sister - think with your logic and not emotion! Don't waste another day of your precious life - someone out there deserves YOU!
1 year today NC...once your clear of their actions,voice and manipulation, the fog lifts and you really and I mean really see them for who they are..soulless, vicious and absolutely determined to destroy you...don't let them..they have no control unless you give it to them..be gentle with your self as you heal..they are just people,broken and damaged..no pedestals for them..blessing to all❤
Such a waste of time and resources these people make us go through. Thats the only regret that we made a terrible mistake and wasted so much precious time on nothing. What a drag.
I don't know how many times I had suicidal thoughts. Now after many years I see that the thoughts were just dumb. They will never be worth MY life. Its so hard to see at first but eventually you get away long enough, life does get better. I was raised by narc mom and had too many of the same in my life. Still learning to avoid them and heal me. I'm 60 now. Time is of the essence.
I'm 61 and I will be 62 in the autumn this year. I deal with the narc 12 years and left him September 2020 but it's never to late to leave. Just did it and I planned it really carefully for month (hidden all plans for him) as Jess say us to do. Good for me we do not have children together and we were not married - so in one point I was capable to do something about it - at least.
Im 63 yrs young good on us hip hip hooray
61 here your story is my story now that he's gone my plan now is to make the best memories with my kids a grandbabies ever and have the best times of my life getting stronger every day 💗the best of times for you as well
@@catherinepraus8635 Enjoy the kids and grandkids. My kids turned on me and I can't even see the grands. Sad.
@@sunnydaye5942 I'm so sorry I have one son that has turned on me too I have a granddaughter that's 3 weeks old and haven't met her yet my son use his kids as pwans to manipulate me 😪 I guess he learned from the best 😢all I can do is wait and stand my ground I will not let him or anyone else to abuse me again, take good care of yourself I feel your pain
Attachment trauma comes from childhood. Need to recover from childhood relationships in order not to repeat the same in adulthood.
I am a poster child for it!
YES, i'm doing NO CONTACT for my own good. it's not a revenge or punishment for her. it's going 6 months come July.
nothing personal, FLAT OUT,,,,,
thank you jess! stay awesome always!
The last time I dumped my ex husband I asked him to get out my apartment and he left thank god, however I had plans just in case he had refuse . I had already purchased new locks. After he left I went completely NO CONTACT until time for divorce hearing.
"A list of goods and services.."
I started out as a "soulmate-" (her words) but that's what I ended up being.
Going no-contact has been an antidote to this.
My Narc will act like breaking up doesn’t matter to them, at all. Dismissive. Oh well. They shrug. It’s amazing. I think I like the idea of flipping this on them as if breaking up is their choice. Gaslight them.
Silent treatment of a narcissist is for your well being. Getting rid of evil is the only thing that will heal you.
The most effective method is to make them think they dumped you. It's the long game, but it's the most effective method.
How do you do this?
@@melissaburt211 You make up your mind to get out and take the time to emotionally distance yourself. The further away you get emotionally, the less supply you will offer them and they will of course, go and find a new supply. By the time they stop having a use for you and decide to discard, you should be in a much better mental and emotional state to move on. And they will likely never hoover you again.
@@jgoobix thank you for this! I have been gradually feeling this emotional distancing within myself once I became conscious and aware of what has been really going on. .. it's like you can't unlearn it.. and I see it in many of the things he says and does.. thank you again
Everything you said is spot on. Once we radically accept the truth that we are nothing more than a list of goods and services for the narcisist , we go no contact and we start loving and respecting ourselves and living our best lives, it is over and the truth will really set us free! Thank you 🙏
I also blocked her from my phone, my social media, we both owned our own property. No problems on my end. I now live a normal, peaceful life. Narcissist are a bad person to be associated with.
Me and my ex narc went through three brake ups and make up, so when I left him the forth time he knew there wasn't nothing else he could of done to hover OR love boom me. Nothing else was able to work on me anymore, his words meant NOTHING. So he never reached out to me, in fact I was delighted and was not looking forward to hearing from him in no way. So he did me a favor.
Why do mines call everyday. Ughhhhh I never answer. It’s been a month of straight calls. But they have someone else. They are weirdos
Why is he not block, mine could try all he wants it goes to block call. He got the message and stop
Do it, or pain, heartache.
We are worth so much more.
9 months NO contact...there are good days.. but when will it stop hurting?😓
I don’t know…
It will one day ... one day. Time heals everything. Please stay strong Randi🙏🏽 god bless
Fantastic video, Jess!! Listen to her, everybody. Give it time and heal. Be patient with yourself while healing. We all deserve much, much better!!
Thanks for the truth and pep up Jess! It’s now nearing 2 years no contact now and I’m using the new openness to get to travel!
How come there are so many people being fooled by them ? Makes me feel like I am the crazy one !
Cause the narc's are experts of manipulate people!
Because their good at what they due. Their so toxic they don't even understand themselves. Just be happy you learned it through someone else or your own experience. Let go and move on far away. Treat them like they died.
Hey Jess, thank you!. After a lot of research and videos I watched just looking for answers, I walked away too without any word. What a relief for my soul indeed, and went through the grieving stages as well.
Thank you for the perfect recipes on how to deal with my narc ex
As I'm watching this video my soon to be x is begging me to stay. It has been a nightmare. The silent treatment. Withholding sex arrogant selfish the lies the disrespect. I can go on and on. I gave him 3 days to get out. Hopefully I never look back. Congratulations to everyone who's gotten out of the dark insidious spell of a narcissist. It's something I've never experienced before him and I am in my 50s
He intentionally got me fired and took no accountability, no remorse, just coldness as he left me to struggle.🤨 Thank God because my opportunities, money and happiness multiplied over!😆💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾Point is, there's life, true joy and peace after those stains. Focus on that!❤
God Bless you Jess
Thank you Jess, you’re a wise inspirational lady! I’m finding it so hard my anxiety is through the roof at the moment! I will carry on with the no contact though, still feeling so sad, I’ve been sucked in all too often! 😢
We are worth more than what they put us through.
Hi Jess! Thank you for this video! Well, it’s too late for me to dump this narc because she already dumped me but I certainly can gray rock her….I am finally learning how to do that and I think it’s working somewhat! At least I’m not thinking about or feeling like my day is consumed with the narcissist as it once was as I went through the seven stages of grief that you mentioned today….Thank you for continuing to do what you’re doing! It helps so many of us so much! Lots of love, Jess! ❤️🙏🏻🕊❤️
You can do it! You’re not weak, just hurt..just keep listening to Jess. She knows what she’s talking about. How I know is, because I was her as well. I was with a grandiose narc. I’ve seen n heard it all, been through this n that. Not one thing Jess is saying is wrong! Just stay strong Survivor! 💙
Oops forgot to tell u I was married to this ..... for 7yrs. It was a complete friggin nightmare!
@@daniellemarseco3335 Thank you Danielle! "Friggin' nightmare" is so true! Jess is the best! We are so lucky to have Jess as a source of sensible guidance....You stay strong, too, Survivor! 🕊
Peter Kaufmann Thank You:) 💖
@@daniellemarseco3335 😌 💙
Thank you for this one, I was feeling bad for not apologizing or something. I don't owe him 'jack' nor 'shit'! About 9:40 really spoke to me. Thank you so much.
I think people like myself have some issues that go deeper than I thought possible. Best advice I can give is to listen to what Jess is saying.. Shes a much nicer person than me.. And not all circumstances are the same..
And they discarded me. SMH 🤦♀️
Thanks Jess. I owe my narc former brother neither jack nor shit.
Soooooooo thankful 🙏for your presence in our journey 🙏 absolutely 💯 right on the 🎯🎯🎯🎯 bullseye!🎯🙏
Just I love the sound of your voice ❤️ you cut me listening you're so beautiful intelligent and informative I love what you're doing performing a public service your show's so much appreciated live from Akron Ohio hoping you have a great day
Thank you. I left my narcissist. Then felt so guilty because I didn’t say anything and got hovered back in And am trying to extricate myself out which means cutting myself away and just doing it. It’s hard though.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. Love you Jess
My ex tries to hoover and love bomb. I finally got her to let me talk to our kids. Now that i have direct conversations with our kids and she doesn't really hear from me, she plays the victim and wonders why i haven't talked to her
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD amen and God bless you, my beloved Jess Stanley. God bless. Agape love
Excellent advice. Some real points of truth here.
Hey Jess.this whole thing is new for me.but your videos are a ray of light and very much appreciated.and the lack of cheesey music is a win..big love to you.thanks for being real and helping disolve the confusion!
You nailed it !
'You super suck' 😂😂😂 GOLD !
Mine never let me go. I asked for break up and no contact multiple times but everytime he would just come up with his sweet face and emotional arguments and I would give him another chance (I would judge myself for trying to leave him). He was regularly talking to his ex gf and whenever I fought over this issue, he blamed me for not respecting his privacy (again I judged myself for doubting him). He would apologise so perfectly after every toxic incident that I would fall in the trap. My condition deteriorated, I started getting panic attacks and apparently, calling him, hearing his voice(as an assurance that he was into me and not with someone else) would calm me for sometime. But on the whole, my panicking just got higher on average basis. He was silently trying to win his ex gf back and simultaneously keeping me as a back up. But he got so pissed off with my regular calls and my condition (which he didn’t want to take care of) that he himself broke up and told me that we had moved on. I got to know from somewhere that he met his ex (ironically, just 4 days before that he begged me to continue the relationship with him as he could not lead a life without me). Yes, I felt rejected and cheated but somewhere in my heart, I felt free. Since he was the one breaking up, I had an escape. I kept fuelling his ego for few weeks by telling him how much I missed him and I am still waiting till I knew it was safe to go no contact. I was in a very bad state but my panic attacks reduced after he set me free and within 15 days, they were just gone! Trust your instincts, they are alwaysssss right. I knew somewhere that I was with the wrong person because I believed my intuition and listening to my body. I also admitted to myself that I am badly entangled in a toxic situation and it would take time to get out and heal. My brain just made me do the right things- fuelling his ego, letting him be the bigger person and silently leaving. I was then free, I took support of my friends, meditated, cried it out, played guitar half of the day, cultivated self love etc etc. I am free and happy now. I also look back and learn from the toxic patterns of my life.
To anyone of you going through it, I would just say that trust your body, your intuition, and love yourself. God bless you.
How are you doing now?
Brilliant as always ! Thank you Jess.
You are awesome you're performing a public service you are much appreciated by many thank you for your service 🎯😊
Excellent video. As usual….no contact is my male X Favorite torture and treatment to get me back in line and not confront him for things I didn’t agree with….no contact after a breakup is closure..it’s difficult because I was brainwashed by this man…I don’t have to walk on eggs anymore…
Thank you for this Jess. I managed to end it with my ex after he was giving me the silent treatment for something horrible he did to me and I called him out on it. Luckily I did not live with him, and in fact I already had gone through the grieving process while I was with him, we had ended a few times and I had got to the point I no longer cared about him.
Anyway, I knew he would not talk to me so I text him and told him I never wanted to see or speak to him again. I knew he would not reply but it gave me closure. I run into him a few days after this, he was waiting for me to speak to him but i turned my back on him, ignored him, and walked away, that was the best feeling in the world.
Another great video that totally resonates with me. Thx so much.
Keep up the great work(s.)
Amazing stuff here
Thank you!!
Nicely said.. I'm definitely of situation in general... Really bad and I don't see that it's going to be any better soon or ever... I'm definitely keeping track and dates how this is unfolding and one day ,I know,we'll put this together and then I will know for sure what was behind all of this till then I raise my hands to the sky helpless I'll be patient and I will wait.
I’m glad I listened bcuz for a second I wanted to communicate that I cared but this is t gonna work but the. I thought if he responds without care that wud even hurt me more but understanding you can’t do things the correct way with narc. He has to pick up some things but he doesn’t know it’ll our last time. Didn’t want to go no contact until he had his things so he’ll have no reason to come back or communicate! Thxs
I'm going to leave quietly
Love your advice. It makes so.much sense. I'm on day 5.
I'm so happy I lefted. I know it hurt him and he's now acting like he's happy and doing better. That's bs because a narc is never completely happy. Im in my 6th week and no contact for 3 weeks or more. I stop counting honestly. I'm working on myself and staying far away from him. I will heal and be the best version of myself. He will come back. This narc is friends with all his ex and I just realized that. So disgusting and disappointing. Over time I know when he sees me again its going to be drama. He's going to want me back. He didn't even want to break up. I made my decision. The best decision 😊.
I am trying really hard to discard this shit person. I have tried everything, even going no contact but he always success in reaching me. Often I have thought moving abroad to be free from this evil monster.
I just want to be free. Permanently.
In one of our separation times, she put a 9mm pistol in the living room when I was moving my things to my home. I am debating getting a restraining order on her, though she lives in another state. I'm not sure about that now.
Unknowingly, I done all the right things without doing like she does.
Yes ❤❤❤❤
Wonderful, as always
So good!!!!👍👍❤❤❤❤
I am trying to figure it out how to get away from him,, I told my Dr about the physical abuse and the Dr contacted him but no police have showed up to arrest him,, he is worried now and said he has to watch what he says and does for the present ,, he is worried
Hey jess....
Do you break no contact for family functions or do you stick to your guns ? Anyone ?
You grey rock but depends on situation I completely have go no contact with my aunt and very grey rick with the others if not no contract
@@Missy_561 somehow I feel defeated by not being able to face them.
I've stuck to my guns but if my Mother had approached me at my Brother's wedding I would of grey rocked before politely excusing myself to another part of the venue.
When you are with family try as hard as possible to IGNORE them, they want your attention, don't give it
❤️❤️❤️💯
How about exposing her n 2 of her kids have wrong biological fathers
Actually, it IS possible to get away clean if you have kids. At least, in my case. I'm currently pregnant but we're not married and were never married. And no I don't plan on co-parenting with him. I was willing to, he ruined that option because I no longer wanted a relationship and that's all he cared about. Started doing shit to try and cause emotional stress KNOWING that I am currently with child after asking for peace. Broke into my apartment. Threatened me. This isn't someone that is fit to be a parent let alone co-parent with. Of course now he's begging and pleading that we can be "friends" and co-parent because he would have no other access to me other than my baby and he's NOT going to use my baby, yes MY baby because I'm the one who truly cares about the well being of this child. NOPE! I've already been advised by close friends and even when I went to file for a restraining order, they told me that I didn't have to put him on the birth certificate and I'm not! My baby won't have his last name either. This isn't done out of spite, this is me protecting my child, my peace, and choosing not to allow this POS to feel like he has any ownership over me because he doesn't. Good luck ladies.
After all the mistreatment, neglect, cheating, lies, list goes on and on, I am finally trying to put an end to this whole ordeal. He never visited me for the past 3 years and now when I finally want to move on, and after even he agreed on splitting up, he just doesn't take no for an answer. I am a bit worried he might show up on my door and I tried my best to tell him crystal clear that I don't want to be with him anymore, but he doesn't take me seriously.. what should I do???? The last email he talks about is when he "falsely" confessed he was stringing me along for fun and cos he enjoy seeing me suffering (i believe the confession wasn't fake). What to do? What if he show up on my door? We live in different countries but seeing how crazy he is I am afraid what he might do.. once he hinted about hurting my family, and another time as joke he told me "if you say no (sexual context) that mean yes, right?"... Any advice is welcomed..
The key is NOT to get into a relationship in the FIRST PLACE with the Narcissist.
Learn the "Early warning" red flags and DO NOT overlook the red flags as something else.
They ALL operate from the same "Playbook"