Jess l deleted and blocked 1 but am pregnant expecting July but am in his country am having a challenge l LoVe him and he uses that as a weapon beed help
hi jess I have had a terrible time with my ex thank you as I watch your videos and I surcribe your bell you have help me so much sndci still learner about them snd to have a normal life 💖 💗
I really don't know wat to say having a child from your ex narcisit must be hard and hard breaken all I would do is keep him only for your child only and arrange for visited with your child only not with you k hope every thing turns out OK all the best ❤
They play games, ghost you.. belittle you. Then still act like you the problem. They are sick. They will discard you if you inflict a narc injury. Even if you was doing it to protect yourself. It crazy how such people exist. They don't care about nothing but themselves
It’s sick how horrible they want you to become. Who would even want to be with someone that’s a drained, upset, confused, mess? A normal person would want to be with and hang out with somebody that feels good, is happy, confident, fun…etc. It shows you how mentally ill they really are to choose to create such a mess of a person yet stay with them. I am so glad to be out of that relationship!
By the time he finished with me, I had lost myself. I am now 100% back to my old self again and sadly much wiser in a way I wish I never ever knew about. 🌈
That’s exactly what my Narc husband would do towards the end he was just being a shit disturber I left 4 months ago I’m finally free of this narc of 33 years
@@RJ-xd6ub You must be a Narc...Get help hon. I was only speaking in general..And you are a troll..Because your channel don't have shyt on it..Satan come get your kid please! lol
@@Machelle3200 All I did is ask 2 questions and you get all upset like a narc does when they are called into question. Yet you want to call me a narc. Look in the mirror. Ps you don't know me don't call me Hon.
I dumped my narc Dec. 23, 2019. The hovering happens every three months. I usually grey rock for at most two texts and then I ignore anymore because I just don’t care. I got to where I am thanks to this channel and a couple of others that put me on the path to recovery. Thank you! PS....love the nature scenes in your vids!
Sounds like my experience. Get a couple texts, gray rock, then ignore. I’m sure mine has had a hard time figuring out why he can’t “get to me” anymore. I remember when he could…but no more! Literally DO NOT CARE what he does, who he does it with, or where he’s! So long as he’s not around me, life is GOOD!!! Move on and move forward. Leave the dirt wheel it belongs…under your feet as you pave your new, healthier path for your future.
Those two little texts provide MONTHS of supply. I'm sure they enjoy that fuel you supply. Sadly, the fuel you're giving them allows them to go and abuse someone else.
@@klev1111 Once you realize you are who is still hurting you because you refuse to let it go..... Forgive them, and most importantly forgive yourself. 😉💙
@@klev1111 once you realize the person you loved never existed & you grieve the death of them & the relationship it gets easier. When you also realize the person behind the illusion just wants to use & abuse you it becomes even more easy. I’m sorry you went through this & hope you’re doing better. Peace to you Edit: and forgive yourself like mystery said.
I chose to disregard advise about letting them know I know they are a malignant female narcissist. So she (my own sister) keeps lying to the police. I just demanded a $250k buyout on our property or I'm forcing a sale in the courts
He tried bullying towards the end and I called him on his buff and EXPOSED him to the MAX. Now he avoids me like you would Covid as I call him out on all the things he accused me of. It was ALL HIM. They CANT HANDLE TRUTH.
I'm so grateful that I'm a strong woman who knows herself. I have known a few narcs in my life and they played me for awhile but, fortunately, I realized what I was dealing with and refused to be controlled and went no contact!!! If you know a narcissist, stay away!! They are incapable of caring for you aside from what you can give to them!!!!
Yes! But when you're mother is a narcissist it fucks your head up a bit. Narcissists feel like "home" to me. If I immediately feel comfortable being around someone, that's usually an indication that they are toxic and I should run like hell... but I don't because I don't have strong feelings of connection with many people.
That narc started crying out loud, begged, pleaded and calling my name out loud. Than came the stalking, sitting outside of my house or sitting down the street from my house, showing up at places where I was at and repeated phone calls. His behavior want on for months to a year. But all attempts has failed; I ended that toxic relationship for once and for all, thank God.😊
I had a totally unexpected discard after 8 years and I'm sure he already had a new supply 'in training' but I bolted without telling him a week after the discard which he wasn't expecting before the new supply had been installed and tested properly so he panicked. I went totally no contact and didn't respond to his angry texts, voicemails or emails... he was furious. I moved away and I really don't want to ever see or talk to him ever again. It makes me sick, literally. I am spending time trying to heal now and if he ever tries to contact me again he will regret it. There's no way you can have a reasonable relationship with a narc and I feel sorry for anyone who has children with them as you will always be connected and have to deal with them in some respect. I can't begin to explain what damage they can do and it takes a long time to heal. Stay safe and stay strong x
I have 2 children with mine, she turned our lives upside down and I don't know what the future will hold for me and the children....feeling at the bottom of the pile at the moment. Good luck survivor.
Dead on 💯 I have two of them both performing the same tactics at the very same time. Both hoovering me like crazy. Im so educated and over it its comical to me 😩😂💯
My husband would tell other girls, that he was just getting out of a divorce where his wife cheated on him. But refused to sign divorce papers and he was the only one cheating. I had girls message me, that I didn't know, telling me how horrible I was for doing all those things to him. Once I finally made him leave, months later one chick showed up at my house to apologise because she saw it was him not me, because he was doing it to her.
That sounds about right. When my ex and I first met, his excuse for saying his separation was prolonged was because "she didn't want to sign the papers." When I questioned him about it again months later, he said something about how it would hurt his finances, his credit score, etc. Just lies on top of lies.
Thank you Jess for another great video. Life has been so much better for me even during this lockdown. The narc left on September 2019. Shortly after I got a better job and I began to felt like myself more and more each day. Went no contact and ripped that band aid, blocked and deleted everything. Do it. You don’t want FB alerts or IG alerts or DM’s from the flying monkeys etc. no. Plan if you can your escape or where to go if you live with the narc. Snatch your power back because we can always rebuild. I’m in the process of divorce and I can’t wait to just close that chapter for good. It DOES get better with time. Trust and pray and believe that it will get better. They just want you to believe that you can’t leave even with kids (no kids here) but you can. Snatch up your light and power back. Apply the knowledge and stay strong guys 💪🏼
I never busted my narc friend talking behind my back .Everything I dealt with her ended in disaster for me , I can't believe the conniving she did . I remember her comment "I have been thinking about your issues " Everything was just so negative about me , she really damaged me and amazingly stole half my stuff
I really love your don’t give a fuck attitude Jess! Thank you for helping me thru my narcissistic experience which only lasted 4 months but to me was a lifetime.
I realised my ex was a narcissist after 4 months 18 months later I was still putting up with his shit and hoovers. I am finally free of this monster, he has new supply who he cheated on me with even though he denied it, I feel sorry for her she has no idea what he is but she will soon. Being with a narcissist is the worse and hard to get out of if you are trauma bonded. I thank my exes new supply for freeing me from him.
It’s always good to ask “why did they do that?” Puts them on the spot. Then they’ll try to present what they did as good or continue to deny their part.
Oh my, Jess! Today I learned about the “crisis hoover”....one of my ex narcs favorites! She’s really angry because I’ve stopped responding.....Another GREAT video! Thank you so much! ❤️🙏🕊
Is he really gonna hoover me after I inflicted huge Narc injury? I lied and said I wouldn't use a lawyer when he left (for a divorce), then he got served and sued. I'm pretty sure I made him super mad & that was the point. Also I won. He lost. Huge injury.
LAWYERS....OUCH!!!😂. Mine saw "Right Through" my mother, and EX husband....The winner??? ME❗❗🤣😂. NO CONTACT....Way to Go❗❗. Sending hugs to you, and THANKYOU for your Determination ❗❗❗😂🤣😂❤️
A disturbing thing they do is "set you up for failure". I have been in situations in the past where someone seems to have either offered to or been assigned to do something that included me. Some things that have resulted is : I told him he must of forgot to show up. He knew were were expecting him (not at all) why wasn't he ready? Oh, I didn't know he was out of town and scheduled ( a very) important meeting thinking he would be here. And the list goes on. They even will try to "insert" themselves into others relationships, friendships etc. pretending to be "oh so helpful" but instead setting things up for "near misses", embarrassments, missed opportunities etc. It seems like a cult since some phrases seem to be common like "right under nose" "You will never get back what we took from you" "we made you look like a complete a-hole" "We made it look like your fault". These are many times one or 2 narcissists that get together and have "fun" playing with the lives of other people.
Don't give these narcissists the satisfaction of blocking them ignore them and smile and thank god you was strong enough to get this person out of your life you are a winner it's your life make the best of it by removing this person you are in charge of your life and god is good merry Christmas
It feels to me the smear campaign never stops with my nex, 12 years later and he still smears the shit out of me. Funny thing though he is accusing me of all the things he does, morroring! And Im just like here living my life with my wonderful husband in peace. What a horrible piece of shit to walk this earth!
It's a bit funny how important control is to them and that it's the need for control that destroys every relationship they have. But what they don't know and understand that giving up on control in a relationship makes a relationship work and in a certain way gives you control.
If I go no contact and they hoover despite my no contact I just give them a quick review of their shortcomings list and hang up. Their egos can’t take it and they can’t get supply - a double whammy.
summary: 1) UP the bullying, especially to your self-esteem. trying to wear you down. 2) begin the smear campaign against you, especially to their new "supply" [support person] 3) cling/surprise/stalk you in person or through others 4) bail out... look for a new support/supply (while still smearing you) 5) "hoover" -- try to re-establish contact through various strategies: victim/ sweetie pie/ crisis
Sociopaths and psychopaths are referred to as antisocial personality disorder. They are often comorbid with narcissism. They are part of the same spectrum. The malignant narcissist is often at least a sociopath. The antisocial will often do criminal acts, immoral acts, and will completely lack guilt, remorse, or emotional empathy. There's a professor on here by the name of Sam Vaknin. He is a diagnosed malignant narcissist, and there is a documentary on him called I Psychopath. Be aware his videos can be triggering, as he is so blatantly honest about his thoughts and those like him.
The one I was dealing with LOVED the crisis play. I can’t tell you how many times they “got diagnosed with cancer and had only 6 months left to live”, or were “moving to Alaska/Colorado/Arizona for work and never coming back”, or literally threatened to end their own life, if I didn’t pick up the phone/get them out of their house/buy them beer/sleep with them- basically, do whatever they wanted, at the drop of a hat (this was their go-to, by far. They LOVED using this one on me). I actually quickly caught onto the fact that if they were trashing others behind their back to me, the way they were, they must also be trashing me to others. I pieced that together, also, based on the fact that people they knew would just immediately dislike me, for some reason, and some would make these really weird, wild claims about me, and I’d just be taken aback by the claims. I’d tell the people they were stupid and the narcissist would just slyly slip out of it and let us fight it out. They might do something that LOOKED like it was appealing to each side, from that particular side, but it was just to appease both sides, while the other was none the wiser. Then, when the other person was out of the way, the narcissist would apologize and tell that particular person that the other was out of line, trash talk the other person, only to have the exact same conversation with the other person, later, trash talk the other person, to keep both around. It was kinda fishy with their mom and me, but became glaringly obvious, once they brought in the first girl, I know about them cheating with, I miscarried a baby and was distraught about it, and they literally didn’t give the first shit about it. I tried going out of my way to get them to come to appointments and they would blow them off. Would send them ultrasounds and they wouldn’t care. When I miscarried and went to them, bawling my eyes out, their response? “Oh well. It probably wasn’t even mine”. I literally looked at them in shock and disgust, threw open their car door, jumped out and stormed over to my own car. I was so pissed off that I broke the key off in my door, trying to unlock it. Luckily, I was able to shove the part that broke off the rest of the way in and turn it with the part I still had and used a spare to start the ignition, then sped off. Literally cried myself to sleep in an abandoned parking lot, since I was homeless still. Called into work the next day because I looked horrible and didn’t want to answer questions. When this person left me, though, the story they told the new girl was…. SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT… and absolutely disgusts me even more with this subhuman creature… the woman they left me for the first time I’m aware of, when she was being all gross and leaving voicemails about “coming to beat my ass” and them getting it on - yeah, vile - tells me I’m a disgusting person for the way I was to them. I ask her what in the actual hell she’s talking about…. Since, if memory serves correct…. THEY ghosted me, then suddenly, I’m hearing they have a gf and she’s gonna beat my ass and I’m getting vile voicemails of them banging… So literally, what in the actual F are they referring to, here? She gets really condescending, they jump in, too, (it had originally started out as me asking for some of my things back and turned into this BS, and them making weird accusations. Then it came out: “you killed their baby, you b!tch! They were so tore up about it! You laughed in their face about it while they cried about it and you didn’t even care!” Literally saw red then. I told her it was them that didn’t care about the baby. But she didn’t care to listen. I guarantee, this is the sob story the narcissist tells every new supply about me. I’m the baby killer that laughed in their face, while they were the loving, devoted father that never was…. When it was actually the other way around and I hope all the new supply finds it out really fast, before putting down roots with them… after all they did, but especially that, I see them as less than human… THAT was especially vile.
Most narcs can display abuse.. neglect and anger in the beginning stages then they really don't have to repeat it.. because you are now falling into line.. Sprinkle some triangulation in and then you fight for your man( most are 40s trapped in a 12 yr old mentality).. add some financial abuse in just for kicks .. this keeps you there.. Then portray you as the problem.. ( crazy making).. And after awhile you get sick of the same cycles over and over..
I knew nothing about narcissism I just recognized that my ex was to the point of ridiculous, She had made a request wasn't happy with our relationship? Everything was fine , in fact they finally seemed happy content . And bang , out of left feild , she now wanted for me to carry on I didn't need change anything but she needed more space, with out question , and I decided , you know after all my sacrifices , patience , hard work , holding up both ends , sabatoge and holding it together in spite of and making it work This was the straw that broke the camel's back . Let her know not interested to continue, or even attempting to continue the relationship . Cling yes , she went into depression that continued off , and on for almost 5 years , then a big smear campaign to basically reverse roles . Then a discard, then a discussion about reconciliation , but they carried on in the other direction, then ghosted, and I just got a hoover . Yes spiralling out of control , rewriting history . And throughout it all they want you to pursue , appease. They never did exist , all that for a relationship with a character actor, a fake persona . Sent them this post of Leonardo DiCaprio holding out a dry martini with the caption . You forced me to learn about narcissistic sociopaths ; So enjoy my educated ass . Alk those years of coping with their , drama , and manipulative abuse . There you go ! Not bitter , understand they have a disorder . Also know the more you acquesannce to them , the more absurd , and abusive they become, they don't understand the laws of conduct
Yes, I all of that upset, weak, sad, confused, all of the above. I am in silent treatment - then I went no contact and when I was ready to move on , he reaches out to me- spends time with me then POOF! He dissapeared, but still has me as freinds on all media platforms and online gaming... I feel like in limbo, he had just told me how much i mean to him and he loves me and so on --> love bombed me-- I took the bait and here I am , alone and confused.
Confused? It is clarity. See it. Don't look for anything from anyone who has played you. Be logical. If you knew a poisonous viper was under a rock, would you lift the rock, to see the viper? No.
No contact is the only thing that works for me with the malignant narc ex I divorced He treated myself and my children like appliances or transactional conditional objects to be used and abused , coercively controlled for his self serving needs , disposed of and replaced The way he treated us was also applied to everything that made up our family including the home ,cars , furniture etc... he had no care or concern to take care of , repair, or do maintenance on anything and he’d always say we’ll just replace it as he ignored and neglected it ,and just like our family it too would eventually get so corrupted eroded and corroded and eventually break down
Yes this is hard ! But i'm doing this i'm ignoring him . When he gets like this he's chipping away but I have been staying busy having my own day . Work out routine me time watching funny movies ! using your techniques . This is awesome, Thank you so much !
8n life upon encountering a narc... i immediately inflict severe narc injury, and i dont lwt up until they run from life.. ive defeated many many narcs..
I'm pretty immuned to the crisis hoover ... because that is one of the joys of not having them in my life. There was always a crisis, always something for attention, something that put all the energy and focus on them 🙄🤮 Something terrible happened to them? Okay, they can deal with it like all adults have to. Not my monkeys, not my circus.
Omg...yes, this weekend he made me , forced me to wear my engagement ring. And then, jealousy hit him, because he told me that I was a liar, then I told him that he was because I found out he had a profile on zooks searching for singles, and then, he's like...because you made me do it, and I wanted to get you mad. And instead of me getting mad, I was laughing of the situation...then he slammed himself on the wall a smashed his head on the wall, saying he couldn't take the feeling I was cheating on him , which I haven't. Anyways to ease the situation, I pretended to call my parents, and then I was on the phone supposedly, but I was just acting, and he stopped his drama. So many times I've called the police and did nothing about it. Until I don't have bruises on me, then ...they will take him in. Everything here, is because he lost control over me
My ex "informs" me about stuff I already know. He makes sure I don't forget about him and something we need to "talk about" (our kids). He told me to go to hell a week ago, two days ago he wrote: Hi, fyi I called xxx and we'll get bla, bla, bla...". And? No need to "inform" me. At all.
If you get Hoover blow no contact and stand in truth- well bae, you better up your game to “Super Empath”. Jess will set you straight right now. Just listen. I pulled out a contract for him at breakfast coffee, post making a play for friends with benefits... it said, “I offer honesty, trust, clarity and intimate exclusivity to my lover, (my name)” he balked! But signed it...😲 then dated it. 🤔 then swore that he’d only been with me the whole time... I said “ho, what’s one more lie between friends?” Eh? Needless to say, I’m not hearing from him much now. 🤷🏼♀️ He ask to drop by the other day, and I said - “thanks but no thanks” I hope this gave you a little smile, Jess. If so, We are at 1 to the 100 smiles you have given me. 💐🤗
This is damn “Hoover” shit. He showed up at my work after me going no contact for months not looking like a bum with a car for the very first time ever lol I fucking fell for this. Later, I find his new supply after our original break up was a girl who had been at my house many times a “old friend” of his who claimed she was now pregnant with his child, I still will never know if he was scared off by this, leaving her in the dust to come back to me or if he was bored or whatever it doesn’t matter, just the simple thing that the Hoover is real and you always describe this man to the tee in every video. I am now working on a final exit plan. Of course, the fantasy ended and abuse has been worse in the last 6 months than the entire 5 years combined.
Been going threw this 3 years last night' with him was my last time im moving to get tf away from this mis=miserable person ty love listen to u ALL THE TIME TY I GET SILENT HE LOST IT SMH IM TIRED
The clingers are the WORST! They are so hard to get rid of bc the trauma bond is so strong. The ONLY way is to block through phone carrier so you do not know when and if they are trying to call. I moved! Had to start a new chapter. The cost and hassle gives incentive to not respond. They are such POS it is indescribable!
I have an open court case on my Narc because he stole 30K from me. He has tried to call twice in 6 months because I served him at church. Yup he is the head Pastor at his church. He is off with his new supply...
One my of my exes popped back up after 8 years! I was bland as possible and slow to respond. She noticed I was gray rocking so she started with back handed jokes. Lol. I didn't even emote to those but the old me would have. After I was bored with her text book narc behavior I simply asked one question. "Would it sit well with your husband if he knew you're opening doors to ex 'friends' you had romantic relationships with?" She did a complete 180. Disappeared entirely.
I guess I am the narcissist. I thought I was just believing in us and our 20 years of life together. And neither one of us found anyone else and had time to think about crap. We can not have regrets? We cannot grow? We can't have faith? forgiveness? Commitment? If that holds no merit. Then please tell me what other ways do non-narcissists think after a break up? They never speak again, really? They forget they cared and loved someone as if a large chapter of your life should mean nothing? Nothing deserving of memory or gratitude? I'm a bit appalled that we are expected to act so flippantly after a break up from someone you once cherished.
i broke it off with my narc gf this passed xmas day when she decided to go to a xmas party on xmas eve and skip xmas with me. she never came home xmas day. that was the last straw. that hurt so bad so i texted her this isn't gonna work out and she had to go. she texted back immediately saying "okay ill be back to get my stuff sunday". i was like wow! we dated for 10 months and we only lived together for 7 weeks but the whole time my gut was telling was going on behind my back. turns out i was right. she never broke up with the bf/supply before me and she was just using me as a storage unit until he got straightened out then she was gonna leave me. she told mutual friends all of this thats how i found out about it. it just blows my mind how much we would text each other every night for months so much sweet stuff. enough content for a romance novel but it was all a lie. its so confusing. the guy she is with lives with his grandma and has no car and hes a part time short order cook at a sports bar. she a part time produce clerk with no car either. ugh so confused but im learning alot. thank you Jess. loving your videos. you have a new subscriber :)
You sound like a sweet, but naive and very caring person. Be smart. Take care of you, while keeping pure and trusting. Just be careful. Look to good family or friends to guide you. Watch Narcissist Chronicles, R.C. Blakes, for more. Also Little Sharman, 7 Things to Know about the Narcissist; and also, Why no Contact is so Important.
@@cr4228 thank you Cecilia. ive been taking care of myself and educating myself on all of this stuff. ive been through breakups before but this one just felt dark. a few days after the breakup i googled "why do people pretend to love you when they really dont" or something and it took me down the rabbit hole of these personality disorders. ive watched countless videos so far. its fascinating and scary. i will check out your recommendations. thank you so much for reaching out. it means alot :)
@@saiyan76 You will be fine. Your pain will give you the motivation to learn and forgive and to be free from toxicity. Your pain will teach you to have boundaries. Narcs have no boundaries or thoughts of self care, only of taking what they want at the moment from others. They DO NOT CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANYONE, ESPECIALLY NOT THEMSELVES. If they cared about a good and great life, they would want the people they associate with, to be happy. Forget those who do not take good care of themselves, those are the ones who will bite the hardest. They do not listen or learn, just take. Give your love to an equal, and grow together. Give and take, mutally. Fairly.❤ Take time, step back, but try not to play it over and over....it is like watching a bad movie, over and over. Seek no change in the script. Closure is YOUR power and is within you. No closure from a narc...just a house of mirrors.
I was with two seriously Narcissist! One was and taurus ♉️ and the other one was a Virgo ♍️ I am a Aries ♈️ female and Both kept truly trying there best to put me down. I did everything in my power to give and show them what love really feels like! Long story short. I don’t give a fuck about both. I BLOCK BOTH. I have no contact completely no contact!!! Don’t care what they say about me! They can’t hurt me anymore. I’m very happy and stress free since I left. I didn’t meant that I was with the Taurus ♉️ for 7 yrs and left him and end up two years later with the Virgo ♍️ and found myself back in the exact same situation with the exception the person was different. I’m done ✅ completely done ✅. Fuck what they have to say about me yet again both are BLOCKED😊 thank you for all you do! You open my eyes 👀
I'm an Aries left Leo Narc I dunno if it's because he's a Leo of just a Narc 🙄 but it seemed that he just dropped me picks me up for supply. Finds something else fun to do left me out of nowhere after making plans for the day and evening 😭
He got mad when he noticed i was pulling away. Bullying started. Changed my number. He's currently on bail and I have a non molestation order being processed because I didnt know him long so I am scared of what he may do, thinking smear will start when his bail runs out. Praying!
People have used my beliefs & philosophies to gaslight me and stuff to which I respond "Don't use my faith to keep me from doing the right thing " They may argue a misinterpretation overlooking the fact that we CANNOT have a bond with a jerk like that. It's unhealthy. In of control,one loses intetest plus losing "their benefits" doesn't mean tk lose my dignity.
I left my Male narcissistic partner 7 1 22… I finally blew up when he invited me up to his home that I use to live in with for 6 yrs…left him 1 yr ago..bought my own home…then he came back 6 months later..apologized so. Ok him back..we lived 120 miles away from each other now..things we’re ok for 10 months he openly lied to me saying he wasn’t going dirt biking with his buddies {they are 60 yrs and Older). He asked me to come up early. 7/1/22 he didn’t Need to go every Friday with the guys ….he planned going without telling ..me…he told me To stay home by myself one day …it won’t hurt me…but I don’t want to stay in your house ..so I left him and drove 120 miles home…and we haven’t had contact sense 7/2…another holiday he screwed up for us…buy putting me on the back burner for his guy friends..
They will also set up accidents, so when yr injured they can be the hero that s looking after you. All the people they ve smeared your name to see them as incredibly benevolent beings.
This is some wheat true. The narc in my life ended up making me do these things. It was like reverse psych narcissistic behaviour. She was on the sites saying I was. She would go off for days and just disappear with guys for no reason other than her own. She controlled who I hung out with but if I wanted to know anything or plan anything she would change the topic. She is mentally not okay and told me she has co-dependency issues. She also said it’s multiple personality. When things are good they are the best ever but all of a sudden she loses it and is a different woman that my daughter calls Mom. She disappears and then I feel I need to know what’s up as it’s been years we have been together. Her daughter is like a daughter to me but she won’t let it. She would rather downgrade than get help or sort a few things. It’s sad to see a beautiful woman destroying 2-4 life’s. Her daughter is 13 and amazing but she is so spoiled and doesn’t appreciate any of it. Give her a $50 she smiles and says thanks but something is always wrong. I was wondering if the Moms behaviour makes her sick like me at times. It’s hard when you are in love. I worry for her safety when I should worry for my own. Idk I never knew any of these terms or had any cray cray relationships like this till I got to Australia.
My ex freaked out and visited the hospital twice for “mental health issues” , I couldn’t wrap my head around it I’d given everything to this person and listened to their stupid tangents 24/7 for weeks because he had taken time off work, then I realized how histrionic and narcissist he was and it was purely attention and pity seeking
Mine hoovered once and I think he had buyer s remorse over the new supply and his idiot decision to thow me away after forty years. It s not just yr partner, it s a lifetime together. Family, memories, jokes, music shared etc. Fool!
I discarded my ex Narc as I found out about his other supply I won’t call her new as she isn’t it’s only been 6 days ago but he has blocked me that’s what’s making me think maybe he isn’t a Narc as I don’t think he is stalking me as he doesn’t have Facebook and hasn’t tried to Hoover me.
Yeah I told mine I made a mistake so she lied to the police and I was incarcerated 131 days before acquittal, kidnapped my parrot who I recovered. Ten years later she came 1100 miles to start pinging and stalking me in DC. We had a little talk with her uncle.... He was shocked I knew all about his Mafia family including his brother who is an arms dealer in Venezuela, (no US extradition)
A very good movie i just watched full of Narcissism? Is "We still say grace" 2020. The father is a religious fanatic obsessed with control. Great example of a Narc injury when his control is questioned by the daughter at the end. A definite MUST WATCH.
Wanna know what some WEAKNESSES are that narcs have?
Check out this video! th-cam.com/video/ze44PpV1pEM/w-d-xo.html
Jess l deleted and blocked 1 but am pregnant expecting July but am in his country am having a challenge l LoVe him and he uses that as a weapon beed help
hi jess I have had a terrible time with my ex thank you as I watch your videos and I surcribe your bell you have help me so much sndci still learner about them snd to have a normal life 💖 💗
I really don't know wat to say having a child from your ex narcisit must be hard and hard breaken all I would do is keep him only for your child only and arrange for visited with your child only not with you k hope every thing turns out OK all the best ❤
Plp
They play games, ghost you.. belittle you. Then still act like you the problem. They are sick. They will discard you if you inflict a narc injury. Even if you was doing it to protect yourself. It crazy how such people exist. They don't care about nothing but themselves
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Such an underrated comment
It’s sick how horrible they want you to become. Who would even want to be with someone that’s a drained, upset, confused, mess? A normal person would want to be with and hang out with somebody that feels good, is happy, confident, fun…etc. It shows you how mentally ill they really are to choose to create such a mess of a person yet stay with them. I am so glad to be out of that relationship!
By the time he finished with me, I had lost myself. I am now 100% back to my old self again and sadly much wiser in a way I wish I never ever knew about. 🌈
I'll never be the same, and I'm glad.
When you take back your life, treat it like a mission that has to work.
You're saving your world, and maybe the kids too.
That is how i try to look at it.
Sure...
Thank you..💜
That’s exactly what my Narc husband would do towards the end he was just being a shit disturber I left 4 months ago I’m finally free of this narc of 33 years
🙌
I,m proud of you
Best thing I have ever done myself and my little dog will never get used again
@@shirleysiska7686 I have a little dog to I love so much but she getting old I take care of her
Who cares
They never really had control of anybody..Its all in their sick minds..I now laugh at these freaks! 😎
Yep it's just an illusion.
So you walked away with no problems at all? Like that person was nothing to you?
@@RJ-xd6ub You must be a Narc...Get help hon. I was only speaking in general..And you are a troll..Because your channel don't have shyt on it..Satan come get your kid please! lol
@@Machelle3200 All I did is ask 2 questions and you get all upset like a narc does when they are called into question. Yet you want to call me a narc. Look in the mirror.
Ps you don't know me don't call me Hon.
@@RJ-xd6ub Did you take your meds today honey?
"Showing up to your house for a piece of cake and an argument" LMAO 😂😂😂😂
Cake 😉 Yes, definitely cake and an argument after when they're on their way out the door. Don't give them cake. They'll keep coming back for more.
I dumped my narc Dec. 23, 2019. The hovering happens every three months. I usually grey rock for at most two texts and then I ignore anymore because I just don’t care. I got to where I am thanks to this channel and a couple of others that put me on the path to recovery. Thank you!
PS....love the nature scenes in your vids!
@@msdemeanour circumstances do not allow that...
🤗🏅❤️🛡️💪
Sounds like my experience. Get a couple texts, gray rock, then ignore. I’m sure mine has had a hard time figuring out why he can’t “get to me” anymore. I remember when he could…but no more! Literally DO NOT CARE what he does, who he does it with, or where he’s! So long as he’s not around me, life is GOOD!!! Move on and move forward. Leave the dirt wheel it belongs…under your feet as you pave your new, healthier path for your future.
Those two little texts provide MONTHS of supply. I'm sure they enjoy that fuel you supply. Sadly, the fuel you're giving them allows them to go and abuse someone else.
I am finally over her.
I envy you! 💔
Congrats, R.J. Welcome back. 💙
@@klev1111
Once you realize you are who is still hurting you because you refuse to let it go.....
Forgive them, and most importantly forgive yourself. 😉💙
Good
@@klev1111 once you realize the person you loved never existed & you grieve the death of them & the relationship it gets easier. When you also realize the person behind the illusion just wants to use & abuse you it becomes even more easy. I’m sorry you went through this & hope you’re doing better. Peace to you
Edit: and forgive yourself like mystery said.
My narc is so dumb he always uses the same tactics and repetitive lines of conversation to get me to talk, I'm still Silent ignoring all his bullshit!
😂
@@ninasimone2884 🙏🙏😁😁 good one 👍
Golden words
"NEVER EVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE NARCISSIST"
under any circumstance.
If u do, you WILL pay the price.
Just run away from them gre rock and not looking back
I know!
I chose to disregard advise about letting them know I know they are a malignant female narcissist. So she (my own sister) keeps lying to the police.
I just demanded a $250k buyout on our property or I'm forcing a sale in the courts
Yup, whenever you hear someone trashing their kids or wife/husband. They are telling you they are a narcissist.
Agree
He tried bullying towards the end and I called him on his buff and EXPOSED him to the MAX. Now he avoids me like you would Covid as I call him out on all the things he accused me of. It was ALL HIM. They CANT HANDLE TRUTH.
I'm so grateful that I'm a strong woman who knows herself. I have known a few narcs in my life and they played me for awhile but, fortunately, I realized what I was dealing with and refused to be controlled and went no contact!!! If you know a narcissist, stay away!! They are incapable of caring for you aside from what you can give to them!!!!
Yes! But when you're mother is a narcissist it fucks your head up a bit. Narcissists feel like "home" to me. If I immediately feel comfortable being around someone, that's usually an indication that they are toxic and I should run like hell... but I don't because I don't have strong feelings of connection with many people.
I have a friend who is a psychiatrist..this is what she told me after I went NC.."No response is a response"..
I’m so relieved to learn I wasn’t alone or insane .
That narc started crying out loud, begged, pleaded and calling my name out loud. Than came the stalking, sitting outside of my house or sitting down the street from my house, showing up at places where I was at and repeated phone calls. His behavior want on for months to a year. But all attempts has failed; I ended that toxic relationship for once and for all, thank God.😊
I had a totally unexpected discard after 8 years and I'm sure he already had a new supply 'in training' but I bolted without telling him a week after the discard which he wasn't expecting before the new supply had been installed and tested properly so he panicked. I went totally no contact and didn't respond to his angry texts, voicemails or emails... he was furious. I moved away and I really don't want to ever see or talk to him ever again. It makes me sick, literally. I am spending time trying to heal now and if he ever tries to contact me again he will regret it. There's no way you can have a reasonable relationship with a narc and I feel sorry for anyone who has children with them as you will always be connected and have to deal with them in some respect. I can't begin to explain what damage they can do and it takes a long time to heal. Stay safe and stay strong x
I have 2 children with mine, she turned our lives upside down and I don't know what the future will hold for me and the children....feeling at the bottom of the pile at the moment. Good luck survivor.
Same happened to me but I found out about her cheating and fucked up her time table and forced her hand before she was completely ready to drop me.
I have a daughter with a narcissist. She's 21 now. I blocked his ass as soon as she turned 18.
LOL--LOVED the line, "dropping by for a piece of cake and an argument"....
You rock, Jess!😄
😂
I loved that comment too 😂
"Cake and an argument" you crack me up LMAO
They think they had contol. Nobody can't control anybody. Thank God!
Piece of cake 🍰 and an argument 🤬😂🤣. You’re my favorite
Dead on 💯 I have two of them both performing the same tactics at the very same time. Both hoovering me like crazy. Im so educated and over it its comical to me 😩😂💯
My husband would tell other girls, that he was just getting out of a divorce where his wife cheated on him. But refused to sign divorce papers and he was the only one cheating. I had girls message me, that I didn't know, telling me how horrible I was for doing all those things to him. Once I finally made him leave, months later one chick showed up at my house to apologise because she saw it was him not me, because he was doing it to her.
That sounds about right. When my ex and I first met, his excuse for saying his separation was prolonged was because "she didn't want to sign the papers." When I questioned him about it again months later, he said something about how it would hurt his finances, his credit score, etc. Just lies on top of lies.
Thank you Jess for another great video. Life has been so much better for me even during this lockdown. The narc left on September 2019. Shortly after I got a better job and I began to felt like myself more and more each day. Went no contact and ripped that band aid, blocked and deleted everything. Do it. You don’t want FB alerts or IG alerts or DM’s from the flying monkeys etc. no. Plan if you can your escape or where to go if you live with the narc. Snatch your power back because we can always rebuild. I’m in the process of divorce and I can’t wait to just close that chapter for good. It DOES get better with time. Trust and pray and believe that it will get better. They just want you to believe that you can’t leave even with kids (no kids here) but you can. Snatch up your light and power back. Apply the knowledge and stay strong guys 💪🏼
I never busted my narc friend talking behind my back .Everything I dealt with her ended in disaster for me , I can't believe the conniving she did . I remember her comment "I have been thinking about your issues " Everything was just so negative about me , she really damaged me and amazingly stole half my stuff
I really love your don’t give a fuck attitude Jess! Thank you for helping me thru my narcissistic experience which only lasted 4 months but to me was a lifetime.
I realised my ex was a narcissist after 4 months 18 months later I was still putting up with his shit and hoovers. I am finally free of this monster, he has new supply who he cheated on me with even though he denied it, I feel sorry for her she has no idea what he is but she will soon. Being with a narcissist is the worse and hard to get out of if you are trauma bonded. I thank my exes new supply for freeing me from him.
When the narc says "My ex did so and so ."..My answer- What does that have to do with ME?🧐🧐🧐
Omg so true!!! They blame you and others for their disgusting behavior!
It’s always good to ask “why did they do that?” Puts them on the spot. Then they’ll try to present what they did as good or continue to deny their part.
Oh my God. It's all true. All of it.
Oh my, Jess! Today I learned about the “crisis hoover”....one of my ex narcs favorites! She’s really angry because I’ve stopped responding.....Another GREAT video! Thank you so much! ❤️🙏🕊
Is he really gonna hoover me after I inflicted huge Narc injury? I lied and said I wouldn't use a lawyer when he left (for a divorce), then he got served and sued. I'm pretty sure I made him super mad & that was the point. Also I won. He lost. Huge injury.
SMART MOVE TO GET A LAWYER TO HELP YOU DURING YOUR DIVORCE. WELCOME TO FREEDOM. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
he might. my ex narc hoovered and hung out with his ex wife while dating me.
LAWYERS....OUCH!!!😂. Mine saw "Right Through" my mother, and EX husband....The winner??? ME❗❗🤣😂. NO CONTACT....Way to Go❗❗. Sending hugs to you, and THANKYOU for your Determination ❗❗❗😂🤣😂❤️
@@tracyross5831 ❤
Loosing control means they will block you, abandon you for starters.
Yes, I really like how the "no contact" is so sun tzu. Ancient wisdom being applied for protection and well-being.
A disturbing thing they do is "set you up for failure". I have been in situations in the past where someone seems to have either offered to or been assigned to do something that included me. Some things that have resulted is : I told him he must of forgot to show up. He knew were were expecting him (not at all) why wasn't he ready? Oh, I didn't know he was out of town and scheduled ( a very) important meeting thinking he would be here. And the list goes on. They even will try to "insert" themselves into others relationships, friendships etc. pretending to be "oh so helpful" but instead setting things up for "near misses", embarrassments, missed opportunities etc. It seems like a cult since some phrases seem to be common like "right under nose" "You will never get back what we took from you" "we made you look like a complete a-hole" "We made it look like your fault". These are many times one or 2 narcissists that get together and have "fun" playing with the lives of other people.
Don't give these narcissists the satisfaction of blocking them ignore them and smile and thank god you was strong enough to get this person out of your life you are a winner it's your life make the best of it by removing this person you are in charge of your life and god is good merry Christmas
Brilliant!
Thankyou so much Jess 👏
It feels to me the smear campaign never stops with my nex, 12 years later and he still smears the shit out of me. Funny thing though he is accusing me of all the things he does, morroring! And Im just like here living my life with my wonderful husband in peace. What a horrible piece of shit to walk this earth!
It's a bit funny how important control is to them and that it's the need for control that destroys every relationship they have. But what they don't know and understand that giving up on control in a relationship makes a relationship work and in a certain way gives you control.
They're not emotionally mature enough to realize that. Not being in control is being vulnerable and vulnerability = death to them.
If I go no contact and they hoover despite my no contact I just give them a quick review of their shortcomings list and hang up. Their egos can’t take it and they can’t get supply - a double whammy.
The flying monkeys really kick it into overdrive 😃
Now I understand why my narc relative seemed to be happy once they upset me. It cranked their tractor!
summary:
1) UP the bullying, especially to your self-esteem. trying to wear you down.
2) begin the smear campaign against you, especially to their new "supply" [support person]
3) cling/surprise/stalk you in person or through others
4) bail out... look for a new support/supply (while still smearing you)
5) "hoover" -- try to re-establish contact through various strategies: victim/ sweetie pie/ crisis
I just learned about sociopaths they so close to narcs how can you tell? and also how to piss them off say you pity them.
Sociopaths and psychopaths are referred to as antisocial personality disorder. They are often comorbid with narcissism. They are part of the same spectrum. The malignant narcissist is often at least a sociopath. The antisocial will often do criminal acts, immoral acts, and will completely lack guilt, remorse, or emotional empathy. There's a professor on here by the name of Sam Vaknin. He is a diagnosed malignant narcissist, and there is a documentary on him called I Psychopath. Be aware his videos can be triggering, as he is so blatantly honest about his thoughts and those like him.
@@cindyc They are sociopaths as far as I'm Concerned..Matter of fact, I suggest two places for these freaks..The straight jacket, or a casket!
@DR Evil Evil is evil I don't care what its labeled.
@DR Evil I really don't care..I think you're just a Narcissistic troll ya damn self..LOL!
I've been over her and emotionally detached. I moved on a long time ago. This is our lives and we decide who comes in and who goes out.
Jesus love the way you come across, your realistic, concise,logical and compassionate, and take those occasional swipes at the narc!!
Thank you very much!!
The one I was dealing with LOVED the crisis play. I can’t tell you how many times they “got diagnosed with cancer and had only 6 months left to live”, or were “moving to Alaska/Colorado/Arizona for work and never coming back”, or literally threatened to end their own life, if I didn’t pick up the phone/get them out of their house/buy them beer/sleep with them- basically, do whatever they wanted, at the drop of a hat (this was their go-to, by far. They LOVED using this one on me). I actually quickly caught onto the fact that if they were trashing others behind their back to me, the way they were, they must also be trashing me to others. I pieced that together, also, based on the fact that people they knew would just immediately dislike me, for some reason, and some would make these really weird, wild claims about me, and I’d just be taken aback by the claims. I’d tell the people they were stupid and the narcissist would just slyly slip out of it and let us fight it out. They might do something that LOOKED like it was appealing to each side, from that particular side, but it was just to appease both sides, while the other was none the wiser. Then, when the other person was out of the way, the narcissist would apologize and tell that particular person that the other was out of line, trash talk the other person, only to have the exact same conversation with the other person, later, trash talk the other person, to keep both around.
It was kinda fishy with their mom and me, but became glaringly obvious, once they brought in the first girl, I know about them cheating with, I miscarried a baby and was distraught about it, and they literally didn’t give the first shit about it. I tried going out of my way to get them to come to appointments and they would blow them off. Would send them ultrasounds and they wouldn’t care. When I miscarried and went to them, bawling my eyes out, their response? “Oh well. It probably wasn’t even mine”. I literally looked at them in shock and disgust, threw open their car door, jumped out and stormed over to my own car. I was so pissed off that I broke the key off in my door, trying to unlock it. Luckily, I was able to shove the part that broke off the rest of the way in and turn it with the part I still had and used a spare to start the ignition, then sped off. Literally cried myself to sleep in an abandoned parking lot, since I was homeless still. Called into work the next day because I looked horrible and didn’t want to answer questions.
When this person left me, though, the story they told the new girl was…. SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT… and absolutely disgusts me even more with this subhuman creature… the woman they left me for the first time I’m aware of, when she was being all gross and leaving voicemails about “coming to beat my ass” and them getting it on - yeah, vile - tells me I’m a disgusting person for the way I was to them. I ask her what in the actual hell she’s talking about…. Since, if memory serves correct…. THEY ghosted me, then suddenly, I’m hearing they have a gf and she’s gonna beat my ass and I’m getting vile voicemails of them banging… So literally, what in the actual F are they referring to, here? She gets really condescending, they jump in, too, (it had originally started out as me asking for some of my things back and turned into this BS, and them making weird accusations. Then it came out: “you killed their baby, you b!tch! They were so tore up about it! You laughed in their face about it while they cried about it and you didn’t even care!” Literally saw red then. I told her it was them that didn’t care about the baby. But she didn’t care to listen. I guarantee, this is the sob story the narcissist tells every new supply about me. I’m the baby killer that laughed in their face, while they were the loving, devoted father that never was…. When it was actually the other way around and I hope all the new supply finds it out really fast, before putting down roots with them… after all they did, but especially that, I see them as less than human… THAT was especially vile.
Most narcs can display abuse.. neglect and anger in the beginning stages then they really don't have to repeat it.. because you are now falling into line.. Sprinkle some triangulation in and then you fight for your man( most are 40s trapped in a 12 yr old mentality).. add some financial abuse in just for kicks .. this keeps you there.. Then portray you as the problem.. ( crazy making).. And after awhile you get sick of the same cycles over and over..
Fine tune the grey rock skills. It will come in handy.
Works for me!
Yes, finally overcome the smearcampaign on my workplace from my former "best" friend, and now she had left.
yes smash them rocks on eachother it works for me I horrible to say but I treat him as he dead !!!!
Thanks for the video
I knew nothing about narcissism I just recognized that my ex was to the point of ridiculous, She had made a request wasn't happy with our relationship? Everything was fine , in fact they finally seemed happy content . And bang , out of left feild , she now wanted for me to carry on I didn't need change anything but she needed more space, with out question , and I decided , you know after all my sacrifices , patience , hard work , holding up both ends , sabatoge and holding it together in spite of and making it work This was the straw that broke the camel's back . Let her know not interested to continue, or even attempting to continue the relationship . Cling yes , she went into depression that continued off , and on for almost 5 years , then a big smear campaign to basically reverse roles . Then a discard, then a discussion about reconciliation , but they carried on in the other direction, then ghosted, and I just got a hoover . Yes spiralling out of control , rewriting history . And throughout it all they want you to pursue , appease. They never did exist , all that for a relationship with a character actor, a fake persona .
Sent them this post of Leonardo DiCaprio holding out a dry martini with the caption . You forced me to learn about narcissistic sociopaths ; So enjoy my educated ass . Alk those years of coping with their , drama , and manipulative abuse . There you go ! Not bitter , understand they have a disorder . Also know the more you acquesannce to them , the more absurd , and abusive they become, they don't understand the laws of conduct
You are so great! I love your vids and can relate to every single one!
Thank you Jess
“They show up for cake and an argument “ yes, they actually do, oh and to criticise the odd socks I am wearing
@ 8:22, yeah....going through this now I think just waiting for the threats to start.
I'm over it.
Yes, I all of that upset, weak, sad, confused, all of the above. I am in silent treatment - then I went no contact and when I was ready to move on , he reaches out to me- spends time with me then POOF! He dissapeared, but still has me as freinds on all media platforms and online gaming... I feel like in limbo, he had just told me how much i mean to him and he loves me and so on --> love bombed me-- I took the bait and here I am , alone and confused.
Lesson: they do not grow or change. Your closure is closing the door, eyes, ears to them. Be done.
Confused? It is clarity. See it. Don't look for anything from anyone who has played you. Be logical. If you knew a poisonous viper was under a rock, would you lift the rock, to see the viper? No.
Jess you’re amazing. From a Narc Survivor.
I am over him. After 11 years, I am over the narc.
My ex narc said he don't want to live anymore with the person who knows him so well because it lose his love to her.
My narc was so crazy he tried to convince me I was the narc
Been there! My narc would call me the narc and that would drive me the hell crazy!
Wow wow wow...Great info .you've just described my life over the past 8mths. .and clarified im not going mad.
No contact is the only thing that works for me with the malignant narc ex I divorced
He treated myself and my children like appliances or transactional conditional objects to be used and abused , coercively controlled for his self serving needs , disposed of and replaced
The way he treated us was also applied to everything that made up our family including the home ,cars , furniture etc... he had no care or concern to take care of , repair, or do maintenance on anything and he’d always say we’ll just replace it as he ignored and neglected it ,and just like our family it too would eventually get so corrupted eroded and corroded and eventually break down
If you start disliking a narcissists they play the victim and gossip about you as if only toxic people would ever reject them.
She has talked sh!t about me. yea, I say amen to all you said. Yep
Yes this is hard ! But i'm doing this i'm ignoring him . When he gets like this he's chipping away but I have been staying busy having my own day . Work out routine me time watching funny movies ! using your techniques . This is awesome, Thank you so much !
They lost the ability to know or control your well being, when they are/were the teason your being wasn't/isn't well.
8n life upon encountering a narc... i immediately inflict severe narc injury, and i dont lwt up until they run from life.. ive defeated many many narcs..
Thank you for your format, the vids are so relaxing while facing the ugly truth. I appreciate all that you share. You are a badass 😉🙏🏼❤️💪🏼
I'm pretty immuned to the crisis hoover ... because that is one of the joys of not having them in my life. There was always a crisis, always something for attention, something that put all the energy and focus on them 🙄🤮 Something terrible happened to them? Okay, they can deal with it like all adults have to. Not my monkeys, not my circus.
OH oh oh how I love you so much!!! I love what you have to say. You make perfect sense. Yay you
Thank you Jess for your videos.
Omg...yes, this weekend he made me , forced me to wear my engagement ring. And then, jealousy hit him, because he told me that I was a liar, then I told him that he was because I found out he had a profile on zooks searching for singles, and then, he's like...because you made me do it, and I wanted to get you mad. And instead of me getting mad, I was laughing of the situation...then he slammed himself on the wall a smashed his head on the wall, saying he couldn't take the feeling I was cheating on him , which I haven't. Anyways to ease the situation, I pretended to call my parents, and then I was on the phone supposedly, but I was just acting, and he stopped his drama. So many times I've called the police and did nothing about it. Until I don't have bruises on me, then ...they will take him in. Everything here, is because he lost control over me
I know I am late but I am serously wiping my tears at "fake accounts up the ass" lmao
**out
My ex "informs" me about stuff I already know. He makes sure I don't forget about him and something we need to "talk about" (our kids). He told me to go to hell a week ago, two days ago he wrote: Hi, fyi I called xxx and we'll get bla, bla, bla...". And? No need to "inform" me. At all.
If you get Hoover blow no contact and stand in truth- well bae, you better up your game to “Super Empath”. Jess will set you straight right now. Just listen.
I pulled out a contract for him at breakfast coffee, post making a play for friends with benefits... it said, “I offer honesty, trust, clarity and intimate exclusivity to my lover, (my name)” he balked! But signed it...😲 then dated it. 🤔 then swore that he’d only been with me the whole time... I said “ho, what’s one more lie between friends?” Eh?
Needless to say, I’m not hearing from him much now. 🤷🏼♀️ He ask to drop by the other day, and I said - “thanks but no thanks”
I hope this gave you a little smile, Jess. If so, We are at 1 to the 100 smiles you have given me. 💐🤗
To me in my opinion narcissist kinda sounds like non-existence, which is why they fear of being forgotten, and ignored.
This is damn “Hoover” shit. He showed up at my work after me going no contact for months not looking like a bum with a car for the very first time ever lol I fucking fell for this. Later, I find his new supply after our original break up was a girl who had been at my house many times a “old friend” of his who claimed she was now pregnant with his child, I still will never know if he was scared off by this, leaving her in the dust to come back to me or if he was bored or whatever it doesn’t matter, just the simple thing that the Hoover is real and you always describe this man to the tee in every video. I am now working on a final exit plan. Of course, the fantasy ended and abuse has been worse in the last 6 months than the entire 5 years combined.
Been going threw this 3 years last night' with him was my last time im moving to get tf away from this mis=miserable person ty love listen to u ALL THE TIME TY I GET SILENT HE LOST IT SMH IM TIRED
The clingers are the WORST! They are so hard to get rid of bc the trauma bond is so strong. The ONLY way is to block through phone carrier so you do not know when and if they are trying to call. I moved! Had to start a new chapter. The cost and hassle gives incentive to not respond. They are such POS it is indescribable!
You are so amazing great with your information Jess. You have helped me a very lot. Many thanks ❤
I have an open court case on my Narc because he stole 30K from me. He has tried to call twice in 6 months because I served him at church. Yup he is the head Pastor at his church. He is off with his new supply...
One my of my exes popped back up after 8 years! I was bland as possible and slow to respond. She noticed I was gray rocking so she started with back handed jokes. Lol. I didn't even emote to those but the old me would have. After I was bored with her text book narc behavior I simply asked one question. "Would it sit well with your husband if he knew you're opening doors to ex 'friends' you had romantic relationships with?" She did a complete 180. Disappeared entirely.
I guess I am the narcissist. I thought I was just believing in us and our 20 years of life together. And neither one of us found anyone else and had time to think about crap. We can not have regrets? We cannot grow? We can't have faith? forgiveness? Commitment? If that holds no merit. Then please tell me what other ways do non-narcissists think after a break up? They never speak again, really? They forget they cared and loved someone as if a large chapter of your life should mean nothing? Nothing deserving of memory or gratitude? I'm a bit appalled that we are expected to act so flippantly after a break up from someone you once cherished.
i broke it off with my narc gf this passed xmas day when she decided to go to a xmas party on xmas eve and skip xmas with me. she never came home xmas day. that was the last straw. that hurt so bad so i texted her this isn't gonna work out and she had to go. she texted back immediately saying "okay ill be back to get my stuff sunday". i was like wow! we dated for 10 months and we only lived together for 7 weeks but the whole time my gut was telling was going on behind my back. turns out i was right. she never broke up with the bf/supply before me and she was just using me as a storage unit until he got straightened out then she was gonna leave me. she told mutual friends all of this thats how i found out about it. it just blows my mind how much we would text each other every night for months so much sweet stuff. enough content for a romance novel but it was all a lie. its so confusing. the guy she is with lives with his grandma and has no car and hes a part time short order cook at a sports bar. she a part time produce clerk with no car either. ugh so confused but im learning alot. thank you Jess. loving your videos. you have a new subscriber :)
You sound like a sweet, but naive and very caring person. Be smart. Take care of you, while keeping pure and trusting. Just be careful. Look to good family or friends to guide you. Watch Narcissist Chronicles, R.C. Blakes, for more. Also Little Sharman, 7 Things to Know about the Narcissist; and also, Why no Contact is so Important.
@@cr4228 thank you Cecilia. ive been taking care of myself and educating myself on all of this stuff. ive been through breakups before but this one just felt dark. a few days after the breakup i googled "why do people pretend to love you when they really dont" or something and it took me down the rabbit hole of these personality disorders. ive watched countless videos so far. its fascinating and scary. i will check out your recommendations. thank you so much for reaching out. it means alot :)
@@saiyan76 You will be fine. Your pain will give you the motivation to learn and forgive and to be free from toxicity. Your pain will teach you to have boundaries. Narcs have no boundaries or thoughts of self care, only of taking what they want at the moment from others. They DO NOT CARE AT ALL ABOUT ANYONE, ESPECIALLY NOT THEMSELVES. If they cared about a good and great life, they would want the people they associate with, to be happy. Forget those who do not take good care of themselves, those are the ones who will bite the hardest. They do not listen or learn, just take. Give your love to an equal, and grow together. Give and take, mutally. Fairly.❤ Take time, step back, but try not to play it over and over....it is like watching a bad movie, over and over. Seek no change in the script. Closure is YOUR power and is within you. No closure from a narc...just a house of mirrors.
@@cr4228 Thank you again Cecilia. you're becoming my new best friend. I really appreciate you :)
@@saiyan76 Trust me. You will grow and learn. Something, few can or want to do.
I was with two seriously Narcissist! One was and taurus ♉️ and the other one was a Virgo ♍️ I am a Aries ♈️ female and Both kept truly trying there best to put me down. I did everything in my power to give and show them what love really feels like! Long story short. I don’t give a fuck about both. I BLOCK BOTH. I have no contact completely no contact!!! Don’t care what they say about me! They can’t hurt me anymore. I’m very happy and stress free since I left. I didn’t meant that I was with the Taurus ♉️ for 7 yrs and left him and end up two years later with the Virgo ♍️ and found myself back in the exact same situation with the exception the person was different. I’m done ✅ completely done ✅. Fuck what they have to say about me yet again both are BLOCKED😊 thank you for all you do! You open my eyes 👀
OMG . Never met a Virgo that wasn't a Narc .I swear the ones I meet come straight from Lucifers azz.🙄! Sick of running into these freaks.🤬
Yep, you have to go cold towards them n go NO contact.
@@Machelle3200 I been a virgin...lots of times...
@@liha810 Absolutely
I'm an Aries left Leo Narc I dunno if it's because he's a Leo of just a Narc 🙄 but it seemed that he just dropped me picks me up for supply. Finds something else fun to do left me out of nowhere after making plans for the day and evening 😭
He got mad when he noticed i was pulling away. Bullying started. Changed my number. He's currently on bail and I have a non molestation order being processed because I didnt know him long so I am scared of what he may do, thinking smear will start when his bail runs out. Praying!
People have used my beliefs & philosophies to gaslight me and stuff to which I respond "Don't use my faith to keep me from doing the right thing "
They may argue a misinterpretation overlooking the fact that we CANNOT have a bond with a jerk like that. It's unhealthy.
In of control,one loses intetest plus losing "their benefits" doesn't mean tk lose my dignity.
Mine kept hoovering me at the shops always ignored them .Great video,It’s wired alright :)
I left my Male narcissistic partner 7 1 22… I finally blew up when he invited me up to his home that I use to live in with for 6 yrs…left him 1 yr ago..bought my own home…then he came back 6 months later..apologized so. Ok him back..we lived 120 miles away from each other now..things we’re ok for 10 months he openly lied to me saying he wasn’t going dirt biking with his buddies {they are 60 yrs and Older). He asked me to come up early. 7/1/22 he didn’t Need to go every Friday with the guys ….he planned going without telling ..me…he told me To stay home by myself one day …it won’t hurt me…but I don’t want to stay in your house ..so I left him and drove 120 miles home…and we haven’t had contact sense 7/2…another holiday he screwed up for us…buy putting me on the back burner for his guy friends..
They will also set up accidents, so when yr injured they can be the hero that s looking after you.
All the people they ve smeared your name to see them as incredibly benevolent beings.
Hey jess!! Thanks for this video!!
This is some wheat true. The narc in my life ended up making me do these things. It was like reverse psych narcissistic behaviour. She was on the sites saying I was. She would go off for days and just disappear with guys for no reason other than her own. She controlled who I hung out with but if I wanted to know anything or plan anything she would change the topic. She is mentally not okay and told me she has co-dependency issues. She also said it’s multiple personality. When things are good they are the best ever but all of a sudden she loses it and is a different woman that my daughter calls Mom. She disappears and then I feel I need to know what’s up as it’s been years we have been together. Her daughter is like a daughter to me but she won’t let it. She would rather downgrade than get help or sort a few things. It’s sad to see a beautiful woman destroying 2-4 life’s. Her daughter is 13 and amazing but she is so spoiled and doesn’t appreciate any of it. Give her a $50 she smiles and says thanks but something is always wrong. I was wondering if the Moms behaviour makes her sick like me at times. It’s hard when you are in love. I worry for her safety when I should worry for my own. Idk
I never knew any of these terms or had any cray cray relationships like this till I got to Australia.
My ex freaked out and visited the hospital twice for “mental health issues” , I couldn’t wrap my head around it I’d given everything to this person and listened to their stupid tangents 24/7 for weeks because he had taken time off work, then I realized how histrionic and narcissist he was and it was purely attention and pity seeking
Mine hoovered once and I think he had buyer s remorse over the new supply and his idiot decision to thow me away after forty years. It s not just yr partner, it s a lifetime together. Family, memories, jokes, music shared etc. Fool!
I discarded my ex Narc as I found out about his other supply I won’t call her new as she isn’t it’s only been 6 days ago but he has blocked me that’s what’s making me think maybe he isn’t a Narc as I don’t think he is stalking me as he doesn’t have Facebook and hasn’t tried to Hoover me.
God bless you
Yeah I told mine I made a mistake so she lied to the police and I was incarcerated 131 days before acquittal, kidnapped my parrot who I recovered.
Ten years later she came 1100 miles to start pinging and stalking me in DC. We had a little talk with her uncle.... He was shocked I knew all about his Mafia family including his brother who is an arms dealer in Venezuela, (no US extradition)
keep a journal than text the same.... also help others
A very good movie i just watched full of Narcissism? Is "We still say grace" 2020. The father is a religious fanatic obsessed with control. Great example of a Narc injury when his control is questioned by the daughter at the end. A definite MUST WATCH.