The imitation and copying did my head in .They treat you like complete shit and yet copy you in so many areas.They are strange cats and never recognise they copied you
This is SO GOOD and SO TRUE!!! Just want to add a few things - covert narcissists often DO focus on you at the beginning of the relationship when they're discovering what makes you tick (read best how to manipulate you). They often brag that they can "read people like a book." However, they are very closed about themselves (although they may throw out a few tidbits, especially at the beginning, to gain your trust). Also, I think that narcissists actually want things to go downhill because it fits their world view of no one is trustworthy and everything will always end bad. This black-and-white thinking makes them feel secure. (They trust no one and always "know" what to expect.) It also protects them from intimacy and vulnerability. And you said that they don't realize that life is what they make it, not what other people make it for them. This is called having an external (rather than an internal) "locus of control." This is because they grew up not in control and a lot of the things they do developed as coping mechanisms to deal with that. Still, don't make the mistake of thinking you can heal them! These coping mechanisms are very deeply ingrained!
I thought I could help a narcissist once, boy was I fooled. God bless them and heal them. I was deeply involved with a female once. Driving down the rode, she said there is a porn shop over there. I thought, snot I am in trouble. Thank God he got me out of that situation. Best for your own well being, stay away!
You are so right. You get less and less and less...This is why losing him feels like not losing anything. He does not love himself or want to fall in love with me.
That's right! It feels like a relief to let them go rather than loss. But if you have children with them, they are in grave long-term danger of being brainwashed against the target parent to keep the children from and use the children to their own advantage.
@@stacyrodgers5013 No doubt allegations have been made in projection. What you are being accused of they are doing themselves. You'll likely find snippets of evidence of this if you poke around a bit.
Once you’ve been involved with a narcissist you never will be the same it stunts your outlook on life and the people who enter your life from then on they do things that will cause damage to you for the rest of your life and they feel victorious but if it comes time to being responsible they expressed that they feel like they were the victim be careful I would recommend staying away from narcissistic and bipolar people
1. They have nothing to offer and are trying to hide this for as long as possible. 2. Won't commit 3. They don't love you bc they don't love themselves. They are terrified of love and have the lowest self-esteem, they have extremely immature ideas of what love is. 4. They're not a good person. Only interested in being a good person when there's something in it for them. They're transactional. If they need to make an impression for something they can get, they'll do the minimum. 5. They're cheating, they're up to something with somebody. They'll never be true to you or anyone else. 6. They'll leave you when they're ready. They need to have a fully groomed new supply. 7. They don't trust anyone. Huge trust issues, learned a long time ago, no one is safe, everyone is against them, someone's going to set them up, paranoia. 8. They're extremely jealous, scared, insecure bc they suck. They fear everything and hide behind a superiority complex, they're truly weak and broken. 9. They're not as strong as you are. They don't change or get help. They let terrible experiences define them.
Exactly! It's up to us to help ourselves. Looking within ourselves and realising what needs to change to be happy within OURSELVES. Narcs can't do that or, should I say they won't do that. They hate us for being able to look within ourselves especially when it doesn't benefit them.
Av Absolutely, she spent so much time indicating how great she was at everything and how people want her friendship so bad. All the while hiding from her true self and everyone else was wrong in her life. I told her “you don’t know how to self reflect “ I then hung up on her and stopped responding to her it’s been 8 months and I blocked her. She created a new account every three months to Hoover me and now she has found me again saying she’s leaving the area and wants to see me one last time. Bye ✌🏽
After you wake up, you learn that you deserve so much better, they have nothing at all to offer, the only thing they have to offer is misery, I'm good on that bs, misery love's company and I'm not their company anymore, thank God 👍 up Jess and survivors and thrivers, happy Sunday everyone.
Hi Jess! Here's a couple of "Top Secret" things the narcissist doesn't share with me! #1 where she is living! 🤔 #2 what she's done with and doing with all the marital money that she absconded with! #3 Her private life is absolutely "top-secret"! The only time I hear anything is when she wants or needs something from me and then she babbles on and on and on about what she's up to in a certain, mostly, highly secretive, not telling the truth, way! If this wasn't so serious I would LMAO....😂 All the rest, pretty much everything, that you said in this video is soooo true. Thanks Jess! Happy Sunday! Love! ❤️🙏🕊
Jess Stanley has absolutely perfected her understanding of what NPD and C-NPD (covert) is. I feel there should be more mention of the parent with this disorder and the impact their parent had on them growing up.
The Bee Gees song "Words" "you think that I don't even mean, a single thing I say....It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away"
got over the narcissist x husband and living with a narcissistic 37 yr old son..omg..I can't take it..he made a list of things I need to do so he will be happy..it is so surreal and he knows I don't have the money or even a place to go..I am drowning in his more but just a caustic behavior...
@@tonrobert3391 So sad for you and them too. Some times I try to put myself into his shoes and his life has to be so miserable.Honestly it is the only way I can forgove him. Even 37 years later and another great relationship after him. I have a hard time forgiving him. Even though I know he has an illness. But my life now is amazing. His abuse taught me to NEVER take shit off another man. I adore men. Not saying that I don't. Just when those red flags start waving I am down the road. I have learned to stand up for myself.
It's huge the lack of empathy!!not loving themselves they cannot offer something beneficial to their partner!!Even if they are on marriage,they do not commit!! it's impossible for them to be loyal!! it's their big issue,and remaing on that level narcs die unhappy!!👍👍✌️
They create most of the turmoil that they are running running from. But it’s always someone else’s fault. I was given a poisoned cake by a now Ex wife and/or her mother. Neither acknowledged that the cake was tainted. It never reached my mouth.
❤. Im still struggling 2 years later ... everyone around me makes me feel so ashamed, like its just a brake up, get over it, it soo hurts nobody understands or seems to know what narcissim is except ytube. How do I heal myself and deal with nobody getting me. The "healing" has been slow, but I was hit, below the belt, soo hard . I feel I cant 'snap out of it' and I blame myself 'that Im not over it yet' like all other 'normal' people who had 'heartbreak' are over it and there is something 'mentally' wrong with me. I survived SO much abuse before he came along, but somehow invisably he pushed the last straw of my mental strength off a cliff, and I blame myself why cant I bounce back? I had an arranged marrige in a cult group before him, with a clinically mental person and forced to have kids with him etc (long story..) and I didn't exibit this type of hardships in detatching or the extent of mental backlash although I suffered from it, so I don't think its fair to frame people as simply codependent. I think its more of a Narcissistic/covert emotional abuse that causes it to feel off the charts emotionally head spinning, rather than just a matter of survival. This person put me in a web somehow (but I also take accountability that I let my guard down too much and was too big hearted and a people pleaser at the time..) a magic mental web that crushes a person inside and out if anything is left of them. I take my hat off to anyone after this that still has the will to live. I dont know, how the hell he managed to do this without lifting a finger on me, and after being so much bullied and gaslit before in my life, how did this creep to the deepest part of my souls exsistance, crush and leave you hanging , he gets away looking like the good guy and Im mad, left with night terrors cptsd physical and emotional illnesses and knowing sharing it with people therepists or doctors is like get over it and move on otherwise your mad. So I suffer in silance. Only God knows (if he even exsists ☹ - after going through so much my belief is broken) how much internal strength and the lack thereof I endured every second just to get thus far to heal, silantly on my own. It was not the first time despite all my fire and strength in me to keep going, I was pushed to the point due to large external circumstances and bullying and authoritarian people trying to brake me down, with false aligations, interrogations, them helping to cover for an abuser, and take my kids off, and the judge "punishing me for it"... this was the second time in my life I felt completely broken and hopeless. The third time was with him, something outwardly and so simply looked at as just a breakup and heartbroken- b*llshit, he loved, then found all my week points, pushed them, broke me and left, and left my soul crushed and sanity spinning, and yet everything he said and did can be misinterpreted as me "only being triggered ". I dont know what to say, this is the second time I had to fight illness and mental health covered up in silance with no true witness and in the past to the point I couldn't even walk or look after myself properly but knew if I didn't I would be tottally crushed, through experience, when reaching out to try getting the help I need; my weakness used against me. Ive been trying to give myself for the first time in my life abit of a break, not making any close friendships until Im healed and stronger, Im very worried about my finaces, I started abit of meds, but know I have to be well enough sooner or later to find some sort of income to keep my place, and aside the coping with the mental torture of this ex narc, and my horrible dark past until this point, comes down on me heavy, the income, and laying low from the ex religious community that persecuted me etc, is still weighing heavy on me. But like the quote on Shawshank redemption says: "Either you get busy living or get busy dying..." rings true. To all that are going through this or similar, I know I cant do much by saying "I hope things get better" or "sending love", but I hope it consoles that I get you, and saying "you are not alone" it feels sometimes like a load of bs, because we truely are alone, fighting every day within ourselves our emotional and psychological pain and tormenting past and present. All I can say I hope you find your way out, heal, and find your very well deserved peace, and if you are lucky, justice too. We might not be much but lets be more certain we didnt deserve this, and start committing to protecting and putting ourselves first. Peaceout.
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD my beloved Jess Stanley, narcissists don't want us to know their past. my unsaved narcissistic lake of fire-bound- earthly father's past, i am 1000% sure it is more sinister, more deceitful, more corrupt, more false, more treacherous and more insidious than he is letting on. you are absolutely amazing Jess Stanley and i always praise God for using you so mightily to help all that you help. God bless. Agape love
It makes me so sad, we had a good relationship, I know we did!! Maybe it was fake.. But it sure felt real to me! That's why I'm struggling to let go of it. I felt like I had a purpose when I was with her, now it's over I feel empty! All I keep thinking about is why? Why did she have to be this way! I want my wife back 😔
I basically live with a narcissistic woman that I love when I realize how she is she even just slept in February we are dad 63-year-old friend at my home while I was at work and he got emotional she admitted it when she was drunk or vacation in front of me we have a five-year-old daughter will have to get the bills at her name just put it down and daughter on me only but that’s my child so I’m gonna rasie her
This was my Ex girlfriend on each and every point. As far as being afraid YES she's very afraid of me. I exposed and embarrassed her to all. She currently living with her husband of 22 years as when we was together she getting a divorce YEAH RIGHT! But he's been for doormat all this time.. so why change now. I truly feel sorry for him. They moved and won't disclose where....but I know and I don't give a flying fuck. She's not bothering me and that's how I want it. I moved on to a very healthy relationship. But yeah she will repeat her patterns and all of us meaning her family know it. Hell she doesn't have a family anymore as she banished out of the family. So more PAIN & SHAME for her to live with each and every day. Oh well SO BE IT.
"They're just not good people."
Amen.
Narcs, together with psychopaths, are the bad people in our society today.
One thing a narcissist don't want you finding out is you dont need them they need you
Exactly!
YES 🙌
I've been educating myself for the last 2 years I've learned a lot
ME 2
Me too! 💪
me too
Thank you!!! Deep down the narcissist needs you more than you need them!
Your right nothing to offer at all just drama and controlling abusive 🍞 crumbing cheating behaviors
Drama scripts is their specialty, but also is a factor of BPD.
They know they are so imperfect but feel entitled to perfection. 🤯❤️💪🏼
Yup
The whole time the Jesus was warning us about the narcissist . Bible dont sit with those who hide who they are. Thank you Beautiful Jess.
The imitation and copying did my head in .They treat you like complete shit and yet copy you in so many areas.They are strange cats and never recognise they copied you
This is SO GOOD and SO TRUE!!! Just want to add a few things - covert narcissists often DO focus on you at the beginning of the relationship when they're discovering what makes you tick (read best how to manipulate you). They often brag that they can "read people like a book." However, they are very closed about themselves (although they may throw out a few tidbits, especially at the beginning, to gain your trust). Also, I think that narcissists actually want things to go downhill because it fits their world view of no one is trustworthy and everything will always end bad. This black-and-white thinking makes them feel secure. (They trust no one and always "know" what to expect.) It also protects them from intimacy and vulnerability. And you said that they don't realize that life is what they make it, not what other people make it for them. This is called having an external (rather than an internal) "locus of control." This is because they grew up not in control and a lot of the things they do developed as coping mechanisms to deal with that. Still, don't make the mistake of thinking you can heal them! These coping mechanisms are very deeply ingrained!
Words!
I thought I could help a narcissist once, boy was I fooled. God bless them and heal them. I was deeply involved with a female once. Driving down the rode, she said there is a porn shop over there. I thought, snot I am in trouble. Thank God he got me out of that situation. Best for your own well being, stay away!
You are so right. You get less and less and less...This is why losing him feels like not losing anything. He does not love himself or want to fall in love with me.
That's right! It feels like a relief to let them go rather than loss. But if you have children with them, they are in grave long-term danger of being brainwashed against the target parent to keep the children from and use the children to their own advantage.
I’m finding that out now they talking about setting me up an appointment at mental health imagine that
@@stacyrodgers5013 No doubt allegations have been made in projection. What you are being accused of they are doing themselves. You'll likely find snippets of evidence of this if you poke around a bit.
Once you’ve been involved with a narcissist you never will be the same it stunts your outlook on life and the people who enter your life from then on they do things that will cause damage to you for the rest of your life and they feel victorious but if it comes time to being responsible they expressed that they feel like they were the victim be careful I would recommend staying away from narcissistic and bipolar people
Unbelievably true.
1. They have nothing to offer and are trying to hide this for as long as possible.
2. Won't commit
3. They don't love you bc they don't love themselves. They are terrified of love and have the lowest self-esteem, they have extremely immature ideas of what love is.
4. They're not a good person. Only interested in being a good person when there's something in it for them. They're transactional. If they need to make an impression for something they can get, they'll do the minimum.
5. They're cheating, they're up to something with somebody. They'll never be true to you or anyone else.
6. They'll leave you when they're ready. They need to have a fully groomed new supply.
7. They don't trust anyone. Huge trust issues, learned a long time ago, no one is safe, everyone is against them, someone's going to set them up, paranoia.
8. They're extremely jealous, scared, insecure bc they suck. They fear everything and hide behind a superiority complex, they're truly weak and broken.
9. They're not as strong as you are. They don't change or get help. They let terrible experiences define them.
Excellent ! You have learned so much !
I hope you’re happy💞
They probably hope we never find out about all these videos.
Lol, I hope not either, because that would create the perfect covert narcissist.... ouch!
@@Shaker4x4 I can sum that up in two words: nightmare fuel. 😱
And they definitely hope we don't subscribe. 🤔
And they damn sure hope we don't join! 😂🤣😝
Good one lol
Exactly! It's up to us to help ourselves. Looking within ourselves and realising what needs to change to be happy within OURSELVES.
Narcs can't do that or, should I say they won't do that. They hate us for being able to look within ourselves especially when it doesn't benefit them.
Mine dated me for 15 years before she begged me to marry her. TWO months later we are divorcing!
Av
Absolutely, she spent so much time indicating how great she was at everything and how people want her friendship so bad. All the while hiding from her true self and everyone else was wrong in her life. I told her “you don’t know how to self reflect “ I then hung up on her and stopped responding to her it’s been 8 months and I blocked her. She created a new account every three months to Hoover me and now she has found me again saying she’s leaving the area and wants to see me one last time. Bye ✌🏽
After you wake up, you learn that you deserve so much better, they have nothing at all to offer, the only thing they have to offer is misery, I'm good on that bs, misery love's company and I'm not their company anymore, thank God 👍 up Jess and survivors and thrivers, happy Sunday everyone.
@@barrys7515 once you know you go you get out and you stay out 👍
Hi Jess! Here's a couple of "Top Secret" things the narcissist doesn't share with me! #1 where she is living! 🤔 #2 what she's done with and doing with all the marital money that she absconded with! #3 Her private life is absolutely "top-secret"! The only time I hear anything is when she wants or needs something from me and then she babbles on and on and on about what she's up to in a certain, mostly, highly secretive, not telling the truth, way! If this wasn't so serious I would LMAO....😂 All the rest, pretty much everything, that you said in this video is soooo true. Thanks Jess! Happy Sunday! Love! ❤️🙏🕊
This is great advice and truth. Thank you for sharing and helping others!
@@JessStanley YOU, of all people, deserve the most thanks for sharing your journey and helping so many of us....anyway, you're welcome....💞
Jess Stanley has absolutely perfected her understanding of what NPD and C-NPD (covert) is.
I feel there should be more mention of the parent with this disorder and the impact their parent had on them growing up.
Every thing you said is so true with these people..ty jess ❤🙏
I was pretty sure they go on "Christian Mingle" and "Cheaters"
because they figure they'll meet nice Empaths who are clueless.
The Bee Gees song "Words" "you think that I don't even mean, a single
thing I say....It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away"
got over the narcissist x husband and living with a narcissistic 37 yr old son..omg..I can't take it..he made a list of things I need to do so he will be happy..it is so surreal and he knows I don't have the money or even a place to go..I am drowning in his more but just a caustic behavior...
I think many also hide their addictions to drugs and porn. :(
My ex and narc and (same person) was that!
Mine ex did
@@tonrobert3391 So sad for you and them too. Some times I try to put myself into his shoes and his life has to be so miserable.Honestly it is the only way I can forgove him. Even 37 years later and another great relationship after him. I have a hard time forgiving him. Even though I know he has an illness. But my life now is amazing. His abuse taught me to NEVER take shit off another man. I adore men. Not saying that I don't. Just when those red flags start waving I am down the road. I have learned to stand up for myself.
This was great Jess. I love how you keep it soooo real, straight, no chaser.
Thanks for the kind words! Appreciated!
It's huge the lack of empathy!!not loving themselves they cannot offer something beneficial to their partner!!Even if they are on marriage,they do not commit!! it's impossible for them to be loyal!! it's their big issue,and remaing on that level narcs die unhappy!!👍👍✌️
They create most of the turmoil that they are running running from. But it’s always someone else’s fault. I was given a poisoned cake by a now Ex wife and/or her mother. Neither acknowledged that the cake was tainted. It never reached my mouth.
This is so accurate! Thanks for sharing.
❤. Im still struggling 2 years later ... everyone around me makes me feel so ashamed, like its just a brake up, get over it, it soo hurts nobody understands or seems to know what narcissim is except ytube. How do I heal myself and deal with nobody getting me. The "healing" has been slow, but I was hit, below the belt, soo hard . I feel I cant 'snap out of it' and I blame myself 'that Im not over it yet' like all other 'normal' people who had 'heartbreak' are over it and there is something 'mentally' wrong with me. I survived SO much abuse before he came along, but somehow invisably he pushed the last straw of my mental strength off a cliff, and I blame myself why cant I bounce back? I had an arranged marrige in a cult group before him, with a clinically mental person and forced to have kids with him etc (long story..) and I didn't exibit this type of hardships in detatching or the extent of mental backlash although I suffered from it, so I don't think its fair to frame people as simply codependent. I think its more of a Narcissistic/covert emotional abuse that causes it to feel off the charts emotionally head spinning, rather than just a matter of survival. This person put me in a web somehow (but I also take accountability that I let my guard down too much and was too big hearted and a people pleaser at the time..) a magic mental web that crushes a person inside and out if anything is left of them. I take my hat off to anyone after this that still has the will to live. I dont know, how the hell he managed to do this without lifting a finger on me, and after being so much bullied and gaslit before in my life, how did this creep to the deepest part of my souls exsistance, crush and leave you hanging , he gets away looking like the good guy and Im mad, left with night terrors cptsd physical and emotional illnesses and knowing sharing it with people therepists or doctors is like get over it and move on otherwise your mad. So I suffer in silance. Only God knows (if he even exsists ☹ - after going through so much my belief is broken) how much internal strength and the lack thereof I endured every second just to get thus far to heal, silantly on my own. It was not the first time despite all my fire and strength in me to keep going, I was pushed to the point due to large external circumstances and bullying and authoritarian people trying to brake me down, with false aligations, interrogations, them helping to cover for an abuser, and take my kids off, and the judge "punishing me for it"... this was the second time in my life I felt completely broken and hopeless. The third time was with him, something outwardly and so simply looked at as just a breakup and heartbroken- b*llshit, he loved, then found all my week points, pushed them, broke me and left, and left my soul crushed and sanity spinning, and yet everything he said and did can be misinterpreted as me "only being triggered ". I dont know what to say, this is the second time I had to fight illness and mental health covered up in silance with no true witness and in the past to the point I couldn't even walk or look after myself properly but knew if I didn't I would be tottally crushed, through experience, when reaching out to try getting the help I need; my weakness used against me. Ive been trying to give myself for the first time in my life abit of a break, not making any close friendships until Im healed and stronger, Im very worried about my finaces, I started abit of meds, but know I have to be well enough sooner or later to find some sort of income to keep my place, and aside the coping with the mental torture of this ex narc, and my horrible dark past until this point, comes down on me heavy, the income, and laying low from the ex religious community that persecuted me etc, is still weighing heavy on me. But like the quote on Shawshank redemption says: "Either you get busy living or get busy dying..." rings true. To all that are going through this or similar, I know I cant do much by saying "I hope things get better" or "sending love", but I hope it consoles that I get you, and saying "you are not alone" it feels sometimes like a load of bs, because we truely are alone, fighting every day within ourselves our emotional and psychological pain and tormenting past and present. All I can say I hope you find your way out, heal, and find your very well deserved peace, and if you are lucky, justice too. We might not be much but lets be more certain we didnt deserve this, and start committing to protecting and putting ourselves first. Peaceout.
Then you must have no contact with those who don’t understand what you’ve been through!!
Stay in this comforting community !!!!❤️
The DEVIL Used to always said " Aw, stop that MUSHY STUFF!" when I expressed my feelings for him"👹👹
He would also say," Don't hurt me"! And I should find someone else because he wasn't good enough for me...well he got that one RIGHT!I 👹👹👹
Spot on! You just describe my covert nex.
You said a mouth full
Listen to this daily.....
Love your channel. TY
Ii was with him for almost 7 years I never felt we were on the same page he always kept me at arm's length so true Jess
They are also cheap as hell
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍well explained !
Gg Lin,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....
Thank you Jess for not using the F word anymore !
You’re wisdom is so important !
Thank you!💞
The F bomb is still dropped occasionally. However, it has been toned down. Thanks for listening!
This is soo on point! 👌👏💛
+Jess Stanley Praise the LORD my beloved Jess Stanley, narcissists don't want us to know their past. my unsaved narcissistic lake of fire-bound- earthly father's past, i am 1000% sure it is more sinister, more deceitful, more corrupt, more false, more treacherous and more insidious than he is letting on. you are absolutely amazing Jess Stanley and i always praise God for using you so mightily to help all that you help. God bless. Agape love
Thank you!!❤
Absolutely spot on 👏
This is really good one xo
Right to the points Jess! Thnks
It makes me so sad, we had a good relationship, I know we did!! Maybe it was fake.. But it sure felt real to me! That's why I'm struggling to let go of it. I felt like I had a purpose when I was with her, now it's over I feel empty! All I keep thinking about is why? Why did she have to be this way! I want my wife back 😔
I basically live with a narcissistic woman that I love when I realize how she is she even just slept in February we are dad 63-year-old friend at my home while I was at work and he got emotional she admitted it when she was drunk or vacation in front of me we have a five-year-old daughter will have to get the bills at her name just put it down and daughter on me only but that’s my child so I’m gonna rasie her
Lol I like the laugh
I enjoy this it's better than Riddick
You are wonderful
Agreed. 💯💯
Lol think we all get like this when being with some one to long 😐😐😐
Hi Jess! First!💞💞
I just realize I've been used this whole time. Wtf.
We have all been used. You're not alone. Lots of support is here for you!
Until it's your sister. I'm at the point I don't care if I live or not. With everything my mother and sister have did to me. I'm finished.
💙
Keep hanging on, time does heal somewhat! 🌹
Same here dude my narc sis and loving mom destroyed me.. I have become just a moving body with no soul trying to get ny life back its so hard
DITTO!!!
Is there a chance for a Narc? I think I may be one.
This was my Ex girlfriend on each and every point. As far as being afraid YES she's very afraid of me. I exposed and embarrassed her to all. She currently living with her husband of 22 years as when we was together she getting a divorce YEAH RIGHT! But he's been for doormat all this time.. so why change now. I truly feel sorry for him. They moved and won't disclose where....but I know and I don't give a flying fuck. She's not bothering me and that's how I want it. I moved on to a very healthy relationship. But yeah she will repeat her patterns and all of us meaning her family know it. Hell she doesn't have a family anymore as she banished out of the family. So more PAIN & SHAME for her to live with each and every day. Oh well SO BE IT.
Gunny, the very same thing happened to me...
You make it sound like a man needs to just pay and pay and pay and pay just to show that he loves a woman There's no logic behind that