Minimalism Is Not Toxic; Here's What Is!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 พ.ค. 2024
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What's the problem with minimalism? According to these rude comments, EVERYTHING! But I disagree...and that's why, in today's video, I'm going to be responding to the biggest criticisms about minimalism, assumptions about me and our minimalist family, and myth-busting through minimalism stereotypes! Here's the REALITY of simple living and minimalism as I see it. :)
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ABOUT A TO ZEN LIFE
Along my journey to let go of 30 years of clutter, I accidentally became a minimalist, and it was life-changing.
Before, I was an emotional hoarder with nothing but the clutter from lost loved ones - and $25,000 of debt - to my name. Now I have a beautiful home in Europe, a happy family, live debt-free, and - best of all - wake up to a life that I’m EXCITED to live every day.
My mission is to help you conquer your clutter and simplify YOUR way to a happier and better life. HERE'S OUR STORY: atozenlife.com/about-a-to-zen...
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You are so smart to train your boys with minimalism while they are so young. It's to late for my kids in their twenties. They buy so much cute anime Pokemon and sonic stuff. We always have packages coming to our door. I have tried to ask them if this is stuff they really need or can they live without it. Does this stuff serve an important purpose in their life? I tell them to look at all the money they can save . I have gotten in trouble for getting rid of their stuff (what I see as crap they do not need or have space for). I do not do that anymore. I just focus on the rest of our home and still they will say "hey mom where is this or that and why did you get rid of it". Minimalism should be a DNA trait. Let's not use knife to murder with examples😮
Hats off to you for handling those ugly comments with such charity and kindness.
Yes, Marissa is so gracious to those rude boors and her responses are spot on. 💖
Exactly my thoughts! You are an inspiration. Thank you for all your videos and for being genuine 😍
If it costs you your peace, it's too expensive. - Paulo Coelho
Just finished my decluttering journey. One of the major “side effects” is my anxiety and depression has gotten better, not gone but much more manageable.
That’s a HUGE benefit that a lot of us have experienced, for sure. 🙏
25 years ago, I lived on a narrowboat with my three children and two big dogs. I made salt playdough and the children had building blocks, lego, cardboard boxes, felt tips, two old sheets. They found sticks and other outdoor stuff. They made dens, had lots of adventures in the fields adjoining the canal. I got books from the library. Now they are in their 30's. One is a science teacher, another a manager at a historic castle, the 3rd a tourist guide. Heaps of plastic toys and constant computer input is not neccessary. I love the way you go outside with your children and take them swimming. Being physical!
What a beautiful life you’ve had. Good for you and your kids
When my mom was sick we watched read all that remains and the minimalism documentary together and we decluttered and donated it all. The wine and champagne glass we had but don't drink, the extra furniture, extra bedding, extra appliances. We focused on all the things she liked and spent time together. When she passed I just focused on grieving and yes I held on to some things that were uniquely my mama. I do less cleaning, less laundry since decluttering. Junk is stealing your time.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had some positive times together ❤
It’s so interesting how people can interpret something so differently from someone else 😮
I love having my countertops clean and bare. Everything fit in my cabinets and it’s sooooo easy to keep the counters clean!
It makes me sad to see that so many people are frustrated and angry. Meanwhile, let's continue with decluttering! Thank you Marissa.
You're so right. These commenters are no regular watchers. They don't know you at all. Your view has helped me soooooo much.🥰 I'm 70 yo and after I lost my husband in 2020, 💔 taking care of myself and my home broke down causing clutter and I gained a LOT of weight. You helped me see what was happening around me and woke me up. Still going thru it but your sweet face and good advice makes my day. Don't listen to these Haters hate themselves the most. Happy people don't spend hours insulting someone. What ever happened to good manner. Don't read the bad comments. Your worth better❤
Thank you so much for your kind comment, people like you are exactly why I do this!
🙏❤️
I laughed at the pop up "PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT a master chef ;)" no mention of serial killer though...😂🤔
@@ren8240 Right? That was too funny 🤣
diannelarose is so spot-on. The haters don't know anything about Marissa. They truly think they're smart and superior while being totally clueless.
i lost my wife 3 weeks before she bought a dog.
i thank her every day for leaving me and getting the dog...
As my mother's only child, clearing out her apartment after she died was more brutal than her actual death. Trying to sort thru 55+ years in a few wks, while dealing with the onset of COVID as a frontline worker in NYC...NO WORDS!!😢
That sounds so difficult. I'm sorry for your loss. It was a terrible time to be grieving as well. ❤️
A respectful hug for you. I spent a month and a half decluttering my mom's home after her passing last autumn. I honestly couldn't even grieve properly, until I went back home. I took time from working to be able to do it. I have no idea how you managed, so please, if you haven't had a chance to grieve since, take some days off and take all the self care you deserve. Thanks for all your hard work during Covid times. People like you made a huge difference for all of us. Much respect!
@bbonkers Thank you. My condolences to you as well.
Marissa, this is your BEST video yet! I am responsible for cleaning out a 40-acre property with 35 years of too much stuff. The owners thought they could sell everything and make piles of money. Two estate sales later, we still have a barn of desks and overstuffed chairs. Next step donations to Goodwill, Salvation Army, Habitat for Humanity, Shelters (people/ animal), and churches.
They had about 60 years of photographs that no one wanted. Among many other nick- nacks, Christmas decorations, and too many towels and sheets.
Previous managers never disposed of any chemical products. Many trips to the recycling center, hazardist waste, and dump.
Minimalism is great for the environment and the next generation.
Please don't stop what you are doing. EVER.
🤗 😀🤣
I agree, I think it’s a fresh take and nicely presented
Sounds just like my MIL! My hubby had to do almost all the cleanout himself. His uncle and brother hardly did anything. So annoying!!
@@dianasimplifies everything falls on me too my sister is just wanting to come in and take what she wants and not help with the actual work .... she's always been like that so I shouldn't be surprised. I am sorry you and your husband have to be the ones bearing the brunt...it sucks!
@@user-hw9vf4pl9s it's too much for one person to have to deal with and she thought she was going to sell all this stuff too!! Most of it wasn't nice enough to give away! Sad how much we had to toss.
@@dianasimplifies 100% agree with everything you just said.
Ooh, that comment about "when I die, 65" -- wow. I'm 66.5 and work full time. I'm hearing now that with all of the life extension techniques coming up soon, I'm about halfway through my life -- in other words, we'll be normally living up to about age 120! I'm working on improving my health and seeing how I can be of service to others.
I'm with you on the idea of letting my kids deal with my shit when I'm gone. No, no, no -- my mom did that to us, and it took us a total of six weeks of the four of us getting together from various parts of the country over the span of a year to deal with ALL of the stuff in the house and barns to get the property ready to sell. She kept LITERALLY everything. My 70-year-old brother even found the receipt from the doctor from when he was BORN. He found out how much he cost!!
As someone who spent some time working with death, the key are 1.) Take your basic prescription medications (it's normal to take cholesterol and high blood pressure meds by a certain age), 2.) Minimize smoking and don't overindulge in alcohol, 3.) Keep active (retiring early seems to age people extremely quick and the ones who fair better are ones who part-take in some form of economic activity that keeps the brain young and active), and most importantly, 5.) Surround yourself with family and friends. Even if it means going into a retirement home where you'll be surrounded by peers and where someone tends to be keeping track of you (of course, this depends on socioeconomic status, but the most unfortunate deaths happen when someone lives alone in their residence, in a deteriorating home where no one is looking out for them. So they pass until some neighbor picks up on their absence, and you learn that they don't have family anywhere near them and that the estate that they've hold onto on behalf of their dead family is going to nobody and is no longer worth saving).
@@stevennguyen4993 Thanks for the tips; I'm doing all of that and more. At age 60 I started the keto diet, got rid of the inflammation and the 100% body pain that went with it, and now I actually feel good! I don't think I'll ever have to take cholesterol or blood pressure medications. Since I'm post-menopausal, my health care professional has found I need hormone replacement therapy, and I'm in the first six months of getting that settled; same with balancing the thyroid. And exercise! With my desk job I just don't get enough exercise. I watched a video on the village in Japan where they *all* live to be over 100, and basically what you said is correct. The way they stay in community and get exercise is by walking to visit their friends daily and drinking tea and chit-chatting with them. The key for them is to keep moving forward. This isn't body-building or being a professional athlete; just keep moving daily. So...I bought a pedometer and I'm learning how little exercise I get, and I'm working on that now too, now that my dog passed a couple of years ago and I don't *have to* get out and get him walked every day. Having a pet is awesome. My GoldenDoodle was all the workout I needed every day.
I regularly purge my home; going to be doing some more of that in a couple of hours. As far as my kids inheriting my stuff: my son kind of randomly dropped the hint that with his tax return he'd like to buy a dog trailer cart to pull behind his bike. Well!!! I just happened to have one of those taking up space in my basement. I bought it twelve years ago for my second dog, used it a few times, and he died; my GoldenDoodle was too big for it. So I just cleaned up ten years' worth of basement dust off it and it's now his, along with a new dog bed I bought just for his dog. My grandson wanted my 44" TV, and I was glad to give that to them. He loves his video games. My cleaning ladies came last Sunday and took my 32" TV, the Apple TV box, the subwoofer, the HDMI cords, antenna and surge protector -- and now that whole corner of my "office" is empty. It's wonderful.
For the most part, your kids & grandkids do NOT want your junk. Anytime one of my kids says they DO want my stuff, I get it to them NOW. Now, when they want it; now, when they can use it; now, when it isn't ruined beyond use, by disuse.
I think the comment meant that the person was currently 65 at the time of writing, not that they're planning to die at 65 years old. Although, I'm currently 66 and have lost MANY friends who passed in their 50s and 60s. An old age is never promised to any of us.
I disagree with the meds, before going on Cholestral medicine I read a lot of books and watched a lot of documentaries ( Forks over Knives, Chris beats Cancer and several more) I decided ( heart doctor approved) to go on a Whole Foods Plant based diet and all my numbers were perfect within 3 months!
With holidays and life I stopped eatting that way and feel miserable so trying to get back on track….
My husband is on so many meds, it’s crazy…we are both 72 , the only med I’ve been prescribed is cholesterol, which I started back up until I get this WFPB diet 100 percent again……
Recently (over on FB) I was involved in a discussion on consumerism. I listed some of the benefits of decluttering/minimalism and quoted the study on higher stress level in women. A woman replied, taking everything out of context, and basically went like "So you want to tell women how to live their lives" and then tried to weaponize some personal information she had gathered from my profile.
And I was in utter shock. Because I keep watching all these wonderful, smart, multi-talented women's channels that introduced me to minimalism and would never dare to tell anyone how to live their lives. Maybe my initial statement was too vague or too broad. But I did not expect such a visceral reaction. Such a vicious attack just for suggesting to shop less and maybe live with less.
Many people equate their belongings to their self worth. So suggesting to them to live with less stuff feels like a personal attack in their minds.
When you go online you have to understand that there are many people that are in fight or flight mode actively looking for threats and triggers to fight instead of healing. The algorithms do not help this.
Yep. Add Over Pampered...Too much time on her hands. I'm Over it😅
I've seen this before, where women go ballistic and accuse someone of bossing them around and telling them how to live/dress/you name it. I think they're unbalanced. It just isn't a normal reaction - someone making a video hasn't the power of bossing anyone around or forcing anyone to do anything. I just think, "Ooh, someone forgot to take their meds!"
Oof, I feel your pain. I recently deleted Facebook because I would be drawn into discussions then get those reactions. The positives weren't outweighing the negatives anymore.
‘Don’t let your stuff own you’ is the best way to think about your possessions. About the commenter who said she’s letting her kids deal with her stuff once she passes is selfish. It may sound quite harsh but first, your stuff is your responsibility. You should take care of them while still living. Second, you are still living. Why not live without the clutter? 65 is not old at all. There is plenty of life to live and enjoy! You can make a change at anytime! It’s not so much about minimalism as about choosing a life style that will free up your mind and energy.
I know this first hand, my mom left a 4 bedroom 2 bath house full of over 60 years of stuff because she never got rid of anything. She's in a nursing home and expects me to keep most all of it. I cannot do that
incredibly selfish, they are already dealing with grief, trying to sort out financials, and they have a housefull of crap to take care of....went through it with my in-laws and it made my husband crazy, I will NEVER do that to my own children
@@tammyc1812 That’s really tough. It’s especially hard when there’s emotional attachment for the parents but not so for the adult kids. Hang in there!
@@pt8421 TY!
So true. The fact that she sees nothing wrong with dumping that giant burden on her children says a lot about her as a mother.
It may even be her version of a last slap at her children from the grave. "Ha! Take that you ungrateful brats! I hope it takes you weeks to sort it all out!"
(Yeah, you're nicer than I am lol)
I'm 61. I've been decluttering for several years, and I'm finally feeling really happy about the way my home feels. It needs so little cleaning time it's ridiculous, and I love that. And when I move on from this world I want my children and grandchildren to remember me fondly; not feel burdened or hurt or resent me for leaving them a huge mess to sort through.
👍 Children can find engagement and joy in anything. When we moved and hadn’t got our furniture yet, my kids had so much fun running around the empty rooms and playing hide-and-seek in the empty closets. Children need room to play and people to play with more than they need piles of toys.
I’m minimalish 😂 My home is simplified to the point I can handle life. Thank you for starting me on this journey. ❤
Can I borrow your description for myself? I feel like it describes me perfectly: minimalish! 😊
Ha! Love it, I also request the use of this term! 😁
One of the things I took away from Swedish Death Cleaning was if there ARE important things you’d like to be passed on, make a note of that NOW. If you’re happy for everything to go to the charity shop except great grandma’s wedding ring, make sure people know WHAT it is, WHERE it is, and WHY it’s important to you. I think that’s a really helpful thing for those who come after you. So they know they can get rid of everything else with impunity and keep those few bits that matter
👍I'm so sorry you have 'haters' spewing their opinions on your channel. I love coming here to hear about your story, or what new ideas, thoughts or science based information you provide. I've been decluttering for 3 years. Kitchen stuff, linens, bathroom stuff even clothes are no longer the problem. My garage and storage areas are full of 'stuff' so I'm working there now. I often require help. I'm 71 and feel I've done well so far. However I'm a creator of many artistic things. So I have a lot of supplies like yarn, wool, fabric, leather, wire for jewelry and the tools and equipment I use to make stuff is my decluttering challenge. I got married 2 months ago. I've been decluttering even more to be able to move my husband into my very tiny house. Once I understood that this space is the space I have, it became clear what I needed to do. Thank you!
These Instagram comments are so ridiculous. You did a great job of politely and thoughtfully responding though. You are an inspiration ❤❤❤
My goodness, what in the heck has happened? I had no idea people can be so incredibly rude, so thanks for sharing and making me aware of this. Our society has a lot os problems and most of it stems from people like this. You are inspiring to me and many others as well.
Hey.
Greetings from Iceland. I’m trying my best to be a minimalist. I’m 64 a mother of four kids and have eight grandchildren. I love your minimalist journey. You have inspired me so much. You should be very proud of yourself. You have been through a lot.
You have a beautiful family.
Thank you❤️🇮🇸
Love this video. My English is bad, but I still want to leave some thoughts about that "When I am die, 65". My aunt died at 62. I helped my cousin to clean her stuff, not much, but still a HUGE pain. The same year, I got cancer, I took off a year from work for chemo and radiation therapy, the same time, I decluttered more than 90% of my stuff ( I usually hate to use "stuff" this word). I don't' consider myself a minimalist, but try to, my main reason is I don't' want to leave behind any "stuff"-- pain and/or trouble for any one I love. All other benefits are side effect for me to enjoy life.
Thank you Marissa.
It's unreal how ignorant some of those comments are! These people seem to be triggered. With that said, I enjoy these videos where you answer some of the negative comments. Of the people I watch on here, you're one of the few who do that. I can say, at one time I had so much anxiety over my "stuff", not to mention having to deal with my dad's stuff after he passed. I started getting rid of things I never used or even forgot I had and the feeling was so transformative. I never want to be held prisoner by "stuff" again!
Haters have never had to clean out a family members' hoarded house. Mic drop 🎤
Marissa, Your videos and advice have literally changed my life! I also lost many family members to death all at once. I am able to part with sentimental items now. My counter tops are clear, my smaller sizes have been donated, my many photo albums are being sorted, blurry photos and duplicates are gone! I now have memory boxes. I stopped dying my hair. I have given away lots of plants. I had too many! Excess kitchen items are gone! Excess sheets and towels are gone! It’s still a process but your advice gave me the motivation to get started on this journey. So don’t listen to the uninformed haters!! ❤
I’m on month 4 of my decluttering journey. It’s been a game changer for my mental health. And I no longer buy anything that isn’t truly essential. I’m saving more money too!!
I'm still not decluttered all throughout the house, but slowly and steadily we're going through every drawer, cupboard, bag, pile and box. Every time I find new things I can give away and I'm slowly organising our house the way I want it.
I once had to clear out a house after the person dying and it was difficult. (It was the house of my stepkid who now lives with us. My husband works fulltime and I sifted through all their belongings trying to find all my stepkid's things and things like pictures and sentimental things belonging to her mother that maybe one day she will appreciate. We couldn't keep all the things because we live in a terraced house without attic and there were already 5 persons living here.
I definitely don't want our kids to deal with so much when we are gone, so since the passing of my stepkid's mom I've been decluttering more and buying less even more than I already did before...
Also I'm glad my mother has already downsized and decluttered a lot of her things, but I suspect we'll still be having our work cut out after her death. (I hope it will be a long time before that happens.) Luckily there's 7 siblings to divide all the work...
Ronald L Banks did a video this last week on a similar theme. Minimalism isn't a decluttering contest.
Well said. It must be awfully hard to deal with people who seem almost deliberately difficult when you are trying so hard to enable others to live a life of freedom and peace. ❤👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Best comment right here! ❤
Absolutely 💯
👍🏻 There’s another emoji I can think of using on all those rude people, but I’ll be nice and not use it. I love being a minimalist. I get to clean my house instead of managing stuff. I can open the door and not worry about messes. I can have family drop in and not be embarrassed with clutter or awful smells. I love being home, now. 😊
I never tell anyone that I am minimalist. I say sometimes that too much stuff makes me feel nervous. No one has noticed but do questions how I keep my house so clean.
Therapy is what made me a minimalist. It totally changed my life.
Why are these people watching your channel?
Such hurtful comments to appease their own cluttered lives.
When my mother passed her home was full of stuff.
Her home did not reflect the classic pathways of a hoarder, but she did have the tell tale signs such as numerous cheap plastic shelvings, behind the door hangings and plastic containers to hold her junk!
I had trouble deciding what to keep. I only wanted to honor what she truly LOVED. I did not want to treasure and honour the junk she had purchased on a retail shopping therapy afternoon!
I have been a minimalist for years.
My children are aware that I only have things in my home that I truly love. They also know the stories behind that love.
I believe it's a lack of respect for ourselves and those we love to leave our junk for them to sort and throw away.
This was one of your best! Hugs!
I love this! I’ve been told on a viral video that I am “damaging children’s IQs” before. Like you said, a lot of assumptions happen in most of these comments. Thanks for fabulous content!
Oh my goodness 😂. Thanks so much for watching and sharing!
and regarding children and toys- we have 1 set of blocks and a big train set of Duplo Legos for when the grandkids visit. They play for hours and hours with just these. When we visit them they aren't nearly as focused on their gazillion toys.
bin in the Moving and storage business for over 40 years. A lot of people can get rid of 90% of what they own And none of it would be tangible
This.
90% sounds big and scary to many people, but most people don't realize just how much crap they have, and how much of that crap they don't even use or see.
👍👍👍👍 Marissa... love your channel. Went from a 3500 sq ft home of 20 years in Alaska, to a tiny ADU (additional Dwelling Unit) in our kids unattached garage that we built here in Utah. It's lovely and comfy. 3 years of decluttering and downsizing in Alaska, was just what I needed. Lots of free time to walk, play with young grandkids, cook, bake, and travel! Takes me 2.5 hours to do all the laundry and clean this place top to bottom every Tuesday! Retirement is wonderful when you are free of clutter and near loving family. Which is truly what life is ALL about. Carry on! You always bring a smile.
I love how your house looks with just the essential things. I'm aiming for that goal at my house.
First thing I had to do after Dad and Mom left for a new house, leaving behind a bunch of stuff, and their old home was my new one, was unclutter drawers, closets, the garage and the attic. And the yard (front/back)
I caught/trapped two dozen brown field mice the first fortnight, many in the guest bedroom closet that was so full of clothes left behind, there was no room on the dowel (two-door closet) and stuff on the floor was literally piled up to the stuff hanging down.
But sure, clutter isn’t bad for one’s health, physical and mental. Seeing mice droppings in the pantry, nothing to fret over. 🙄
I starting throwing stuff out a couple of months ago (I’ve done this a few times before but in small version). I threw out everything that I could spare that wasn’t nailed down. I’ve fallen back in love with my house. It’s easier to keep clean and my husband and my son both jumped on board. I think we are much happier now. My husband and I are getting along better. My anxiety is much, much better. Thank you. Watching your channel has been a blessing to my family.
As a hoarder in recovery I actually use most of the tips you say in your decluttering videos. You and a couple other minimalists are a huge support in knowing that I am not alone in this journey and that it is possible to do it. You are a valuable resource in a world full of hyper-consumerism.
Keep up the great work!! 💪🏼
The internet is such a minefield. You are amazing. I didnt realise we were minimalist until I started watching your channel. I just knew that everytime we moved I knew there were things we hadnt used and so i found them new homes. 5 moves later we are in our forever home and i have everything i need. All our items bring us joy and we live on big piece of land in a small home because we spend so much time outdoors. The only thing that has tonnes of stuff in it is my kitchen because food is my life!
Thank you for so patiently explaining all the ridiculous comments with so much respect and so earnestly. Your videos are always so informative and practical.
Lots of love from South Africa ❤
I lost my father when I was 9, and my sister at 32, both to cancer. I've recently diagnosed with ADHD and been suffering with anxiety and panic all my life. I too have been hanging on to everything that belong to them, or sparks a memory from our lost past. Finding your channel was fundamental to start to let go. I love the ground to earth way you integrate a lot of wisdom from many diferent sources into your videos. Thank you!
You handled these comments with grace and kindness. Thank you for not perpetuating the cycle of unkind behavior. You're an inspiration.
I feel so much better now that I am now in maintenance mode. It is so easy to keep my apartment cleaner. I still have plenty of sentimental things.
👍 I’m not a minimalist (yet 😉) but get a lot of encouragement from watching various minimalist channels. The more I simplify what I have to maintain (clean, put away, …), the more peace I feel in our home. Like I never liked our living room, but once I removed extra pieces of furniture, it’s now a much more inviting place to be and gets used a lot. And my kids (in their 20s) don’t want most of the stuff either. I take pictures of things before getting rid of it and ask if anybody cares. The only thing they wanted me to keep were the board games we played a lot when they were growing up. 😂
I do agree that children need fewer toys!!! I used to take half the toys away then in two months change the toys out for him to explore his other toys!! I agree with putting your kitshen appliances away but this is how I was raised. Only the coffee maker sat out!! This comment by the 70 yr old I'm perseuded that she finds it overwhelming at her age. I've only able to declutter because my best friend helps me because I've been on dialysis for 29 years as of May!! We don't all have to be minimalist but we can declutter our homes and keep only what we love and need to use!!!
LOVE your calm, caring responses and your ability to not get defensive! It's fairly evident that the folks making many of these comments haven't been watching your channel and don't know any of your history. Thanks so much for your continued encouragement!! ❤
I do believe you're the first person I've heard talk about how things can own you, instead of you owning things. I said this for years before I knew declutterring was a thing
I can totally agree with what you said about less stuff when you're poor. I am 25, since 17 yearsold my family stopped helping me and providing with money. And still don't make enough money to afford a lot of things. But I reevaluated my needs and wants. Because when I was at university I nearly was broke, I was ashamed that I cannot hang out with others or buy clothes. I still have some of those feelings now. But now I'm not craving for food or any expensive acsessories. I have an amazing boyfriend, I am able to pay rent and have a cat. Now I am more thoughtfully choose what I want and eventually I buy it sometimes. I fill so much joy buying the thing that I trully want and enjoy. Our apartment is tidy and I love so much seing it this way. I am more happier now. And minimalism is my way.
I’m honestly not a minimalist - my wardrobe and my library will attest to that 😂
But I’m only a recent homeowner, and minimalist style helps my house not look cheap whilst I save for good quality furniture and decor. I’d rather spend five -ten years purchasing investment pieces than chock my house full of cheap, plastic and mdf furniture that will age horribly.
Love that and congratulations on becoming a homeowner! We are riding the struggle bus 🚌 on that right now.
@@AtoZenLife sending positive vibes your way. It’s a battlefield out there at the moment!
Here's the opposite of criticism for your channel and way of life: We recently inherited a literal WAREHOUSE (think: a forklift to get down grandma's china!) belonging to generations of my husband's family. After two emotionally and physically taxing years, I'm pleased to say that the it is almost empty and we have a contract on the property. We have done the hard work that previous generations could not do- saying goodbye to stuff that was kept because of the loss of the person who owned it. I started watching your channel to gain inspiration for this job and you have done just that! We have honored our loved ones by keeping only what was helpful to tell their story to future generations, not everything they owned. I am confident that you helped me get through this emotional experience because I could relate to your own story. We hope to leave a very different legacy for future generations of actual wealth and simplicity. Thanks so much!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey and story with us, congratulations on this HUGE accomplishment… and for breaking free of the generational cycle of clutter. 👏👏👏
Oof, that cartoon of the packed garage is giving me immense anxiety. That’s LITERALLY what my parent’s garage looks like, I already know that (hopefully) decades from now my brother and I will need to hire a dumpster to remove it all. 😓
I have been £5 a week for food shopping poor and on the council list living in a B+B and was still an extreme minimalist still, by choice. Arguably, probably my most extreme by choice (expect for the housing bit) and I didnt sell anything for money at that point either. Bizarrely, had I been given a more sort of hotel style room and had access to a free washing machine, it would have been my favourite time to be an extreme minimalist as in the B+B, I lived there for £25 a week, had a cooked breakfast every morning, my room was hoovered for me and my bedding was washed and changed for me and I didnt have to own any furniture and lived with a kettle, toaster and fridge. I had my own sink. Had to share shower and toilet. Didnt have to pay for electric, water or gas. Did have to pay to wash my clothes at a laundrette or use a friends. I was in college and on my own. I had to walk to college which took an hour there and back but somehow at that point I did it in heels. I owned a folding table, a 2007 laptop, a laptop bag, study supplies, 25 pieces of clothing total for 4 seasons and a few pairs of shoes, a suitcase, a teddy bear, a scale, identity paperwork, laundry detergent, hygiene and makeup products, few books and a blanket. It was bliss. I think it took 2 very short bus trips to move. I was at my poorest and if it was a choice to be kivinf there, rather than forced, it would have been bliss.
Downsizing wasnt forced. I didnt need or have any extras previously to being homeless as I was kicked out of my parents house/transferred to the B&B from a mental hospital. I did that before I became homeless.
I actually became a minimalist after a mental health breakdown and subsequently loosing custody of my first born and becoming minimalist was the first step to getting myself sorted out.
It sounds like you've had a difficult time. I hope things are going ok for you now.
@@MyFocusVaries So much better ❤️
@@extrememinimalism I'm so glad to hear that.
@@MyFocusVaries I was making a point... you can be poor af and still have a lot of possessions... I've known people who switch taking naps in McD in bad weather yet own a full storage container at £2-400pm full of stuff for a 3 bedroom house.
My toaster is on my fridge. My blender is in my cabinet. I have a knife block in my drawer, I have the same one you have! And my kitchen counters are empty! 🎉
My heart hurts for you. I can see and hear the hurt in your voice. I’m so sorry for you. 😢 People can be so cruel, and we obviously found this out when all the famous internet channels came out. I personally love your channel. I’ve learned a lot from watching you and other TH-camrs. I have my own issues from coming from a broken home, and myself just buying whatever I wanted because at various times throughout my life everything was taken from me. People have reasons for being the way they are and literally watching others that have gone through somewhat what I’ve been through helps! So I Thank you!!!! ❤
As a grandchild to two sets of grandparents who did not declutter before passing, cleaning up their homes was in fact a substantial burden. To be fair, my dad's mother died rather suddenly and his father became too depressed to deal with his house, but too attached to let someone else, so it wasn't something he wished upon his kids or anything. It would have been a lot easier if his parents started clearing out stuff in the decade before they passed though. And simpler for my dad and his siblings. They had to forego time spent for their jobs (self-employed don't get paid time-off) or otherwise fun time-off with their kids to deal with the clutter. Both sets of my grandparents were the masters of keeping things for "just in case." When we cleaned up my grandparents' basement, there were so many items that we could not even tell what they were for. To this day, who knows how many things we threw away that had some value, but we could not tell. In some cases we could tell that it literally sat too long and became useless because it was not maintained or it was outdated. It would have been so much better to come alongside Grandpa and Grandma and have them explain what something was, why they had it, and work through if it should be given away or dumped instead of guessing and mostly just dumping.
They had stuff practically rotting away. We filled a dumpster the size of a train car.
So yeah, how much do you have to not like your kids to think, oh it will just be their problem later?
I get it if you are enjoying all your stuff, and it's not garbage, but clearing out a loved one's space is exhausting on so many levels.
I often hear Chelsea at the Financial Diet making the comment you read @15:02. I’ve never understood this. Minimalism is about spending less, consuming less, and being mindful about what you buy. It’s not only better for our finances, but for our communities and the planet too.
I am part of a decidedly NON-minimalist family facing the need to do an astonishing amount of decluttering after several really, *really* emotionally difficult years. We lost Dad about a year ago, but now Mom is saying that he & she should've started decluttering years ago because now it's an even more massive and more emotionally trying chore... and she's worried about how much of a burden she'll be leaving for me & my sister if we can't get things under control in the next year or two. I also have to say that you're a lot more patient & forgiving of people than I am... A few of the comments you read sounded like people who -- perhaps willfully -- seriously misinterpreted what you're saying & doing, but there are several for whom my only (heavily edited) response is "Internet trolls are a waste of oxygen, space, and bandwidth. Stop."
I’ve embraced minimalism & has brought so much more awareness in what’s really important in life. Love this video and love that you’re clearing misunderstandings of minimalism. What’s the point of having stuff when you don’t use it & only collects dust. Happiness is inside you and not with materialistic things but experiences. Thank you Melissa I always learn something new from you 😊❤
I'm not a minimalist and don't expect to ever become one. However, I'm in desperate need of decluttering bc I have more stuff than my new condo will hold. Watching your approach is a helpful contrast. I don't feel preached at. I can stay a non-minimalist and still make use of your information. Thank you.
I didn't like that coffee maker either. The french press was my salvation. I'm thinking of making a terrarium with the chemex one. I could never call myself a minimalist because I won't get rid of my books, DVDS or CDs because I'm a writer and I need my references at my fingertips, and my collections make me happy, but I I don't feel personally offended, like these critics, by how others choose to live their lives. I do find minimalism useful in terms of managing and saving my money
I’m so very sorry you had to be exposed to such miss lead, closed minded, group of comments. I’m learning bit by bit how much I want less in my home. I did massage for over 20 yrs and less in the room helped clients to relax faster. The massage helped them more and how they felt mentally was a big change. I moved back home 10ths ago to care for my dad. I’m still sorting out 3 homes that got combined into one much smaller home. But I’m not giving up. I share your videos with other I know are seeking a simpler life. I made a promise to myself that I will get a big shift this year as a gift to myself. Blessings Dear One. You keep being you , she’s amazing. I’m grateful for your courage to put it out there, risk those comments from those who miss understand. BIG HUGS Im BLESSED to have found you.
Whoever made the comment about your not having kitchen appliances obviously does not have a cat. Everything needs to be cleared from the counter or else it will wind up on the floor. 😻 I find your content inspirational and practical, keep up the good work.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had things that I thought I would never part with.. and then months later I look at the item as just a thing.
A good example is my willow tree collection. I bought one for each baby loss as a memorial type of item. While they are still nice, I don’t feel the same way as I used to when I look at them. I’ve even thought of selling them, for I have other ways to remember my babies.
I also recently “retired” from being an artist with painting, and gave some of my art stuff to my kids to dabble with and then got rid of art clutter. And I am content about it!
There is something inside of me telling me to declutter as much as possible, and watching your videos confirm it.
The loss of a baby must be so difficult. I can't imagine. I'm so sorry. ❤️
HAHA Ursula vibes!! fantastic response! I appreciate your content and your common sense approach to living a less cluttered life and the emotional turmoil that people have attached to unnecessary material stuff 💛
🐙 Thanks so much for watching! 😂
You just made me declutter my collection of a certain comic strip series. It has 3 giant volumes and always reminded me of my grandpa. I realize now that I actually just have one comic strip that I'm attached to, and not the entire collection. Now my bookshelf looks even better!
Whoa. People need to watch their tone a lot more in those comments. How can anyone be so personally offended by how another person lives? It also seems to be one person being snarky several times, and always the same type of person... bah.
Jealously is a horrible thing.
Anyone who has had to deal with the death of parents and all their stuff would agree with you and not even question it. It’s unbelievably stressful. AND all the stuff that was thought to be of value that has to be trashed or donated is also heartbreaking. I am working through all my stuff slowly but surely with my own children in mind for the future. Thanks for the excellent video❤
They are either trolls looking for a response or feeling bad about their inability to declutter and what that might mean for their own life so they lash out. Great video 😀
💯 percent correct! Most of these people are projecting… some people criticize my efforts at making a life I am at peace with, my answer to them has been …. You do you! 💕🇨🇦
Marissa, omg the haters/unhappy people out there!
You addressed all with your usual grace.
Love your channel.
I really hate how some people said things can be use later which never use at all, most of it already broken. when my grandma passed away, we had to throw everything that is once called “useful” for later, it makes us so sad so hurt cried and stress us all out. please, if the stuff you saved did not used for a year or even 5 years(max time I can tolerate) throw it awayyyyy, you only give sorrow to your next generation, not happy
memories
Over the years I’ve tried to simplify my home and my life; keeping only those things that are useful/necessary or more importantly, bring me joy and happiness. I don’t consider it to be minimalism; though I have greatly reduced the stuff in my life. It does allow me to spend more time doing the things that I love. And we’re all different in what that means.
Sentimental items are the most difficult to remove but otoh (1) no-one else wanted them (2) the memory of the person who owned and/or gave the item is way more important than the item itself.
Disney villain vibes 😂 love it. Spot on. Passive aggressive behaviour is actually quite tiring.
I really loved seeing your kitchen and all the kitchen appliances that were in cabinets that had so much space and nothing was pushed in or stacked on top of each other and difficult to take out. I wish everyone the freedom and the joy of being in a kitchen like that.
Thank you, I wish that too!
I've been a minimalist all my life before there was even a word for it. Just like your husband, we grew up poor, but here in the USA, well what most people would consider poor. In reality we had more than enough. Every time we moved into a new apartment, my mother would throw out most of our stuff that she considered useless. It shaped who I became and I learmed not to become emotionally attached to items or belongings. I'm so thankful for that upbringing. ❤
I’d love to sit around in an empty room and do nothing except be at peace with the world…sounds blissful!!! I’m sorry you had to explain any of these destructive comments. I’ve been watching your channel for a long time and I want you to know, “you are making a difference in at least one life”!❤
I totally understand where you are coming from. I have spent most of my life keeping things for sentimental reasons. Only now since reading books and watching videos (your videos and other ppl who have also been in this place) I am now decluttering and find it so freeing. You probably inspire more than not, always gonna be negative ppl who don’t actually understand or appreciate what minimalism does for your health. And minimalism can be different for different ppl. Doesn’t always mean get rid of 90%, maybe getting rid of 30% or 50% or whatever works for the individual. Well idk I enjoy these videos. Keep them coming!! ❤
I love it that you addressed all these insane comments! These people obviously don’t watch your channel. You handled the questions with information and grace. 💗
OMG since I started decluttering I feel fantastic. I feel better the more I get rid of. I don’t miss anything. Thank you for your advice. 😘😘
Been watching you for years. Hands down the best video you've ever made. You let the trolls know in a firm yet kind manner why their assumptions are false.
Well, done. You answered questions & addressed snarky comments with empathy & clarified misconceptions without returning the snark. I'd find it impossible to leave out the snark if I'd made this video. For this I will look to you as an example to follow.
Thank you forever for your very kind explanations. You do so well on minimalism to many! Such a joy you are!
Some of those comments are crazy! I cannot believe people actually think that way! Or are they just bitter or sad with their own life chioces... 🤔
Always love watching your videos! Very inspiring. 💖 👍
I’ve been adopting minimalism practices for the last 4-5 years and overall it’s helped me so much.
In response to the comment of minimalism doesn’t fix everything. I also agree. However, my journey started with feeling like I had too much stuff, clutter and the things I had weren’t bringing me value. Then I was in the decluttering stage where I was struggling with sticking to less which helped me address my shopping habits and to understand that I had a shopping addition. Shopping was a way to distract myself from what I was really feeling emotionally and mentally.
Upon finally getting to the place of living with less through understanding the triggers for my shopping habits, I was left with a lot more time to reflect on my life. I entered the stage of turning inwards and asking myself what it is that really brings me joy? What are hobbies or activities that I want to expend my energy on? Who are the people I chose to surround myself with and are they worthy of fostering those relationships? Who am I really and how do I want to live this life? Through this stage, I dug deep and finally addressed the dark past I had growing up with childhood trauma. I’m now developing better insight on the deeper reasons as to why I would act or do things I would do which has been eye opening and the most freeing feeling.
So no minimalism itself cannot fix everything. BUT what it did allow was to declutter the noise physically, mentally and emotionally. It allowed me the much needed pause to really evaluate a simple yet complicated question of “what is it that you actually value?”. It lead to me building stronger relationships with others and myself. In turn, I’ve recognized the relationships that are unhealthy and to distance myself from. It gave me time for self care and permission to take the time to heal from the traumas of my past and to finally live in the present.
I truly hope all who had negative comments take the time to look into minimalism because I think it can benefit anyone. The biggest gift that minimalism gave me is that it saved me many years of feeling self doubt and feeling out of place in the world
Never stop sharing your journey and lessons to the world even if others do not understand them❤❤❤
I lost my spouse in 2020. I was lucky to have a very good friend. She and I did alot of shopping. Too much shopping. I gave over 20 blouses for summer. I only get 4 or 5 out for the summer. I am retired so no work clothes I have 2 large storage containers with new clothes. It will take me years to wear these. The extras are clutter but being new I have made a place to store them. My shopping was to forget my loss but it created another problem. That money I spent could be a rainy day funds. At least I have learned a lesson just wish it had been sooner. Very much enjoy your videos using some of your tips
So hard to be a troll when facts are solid! Nice job presenting them Marissa!
Your coffeemaker is gorgeous; I prefer my French press, though. Use it every day. My glass kettle for boiling water stays out on my gas range all day long. Otherwise my kitchen countertops are clear, like yours, but I like to keep baskets out on the countertops (two of them, different sizes, both handmade and kind of almost match, but they're about 50 years old) because I like the "rustic" "handmade" vibe of baskets and pottery. My Cherokee and Longaberger basket & southwest tribal pottery collection lives behind glass doors above my island and they're all beautiful.
I keep my air fryer in the cupboard next to the stove, along with the CO2 machine for making fizzy water -- I use that many times a day; all of my coffee-making tools and supplies live above the air fryer in that same cupboard. I can't stand seeing appliances "out." My VitaMix lives under the island counter where it's used the most. I got rid of my toaster, my bread maker, and lots of pots and pans when I went on the keto diet; kept my VitaMix and stick blender, and mostly cook with Japanese donabe pots or Colombian black clay pots.
You only keep what you love, nothing wrong with that. I think about for some time before buying anything.
It’s so interesting how easily people get triggered. Your cabinets were so satisfying, I’ve been meaning to declutter and this gave me more inspo for that. Everyone’s on their own journey, but it’s clear that you have done the internal work, even how you address for the haters gracefully.
I just was talking to a man in his 60s who is moving to a much smaller house. He is experiencing exactly what you talk about in terms of his wife losing her mother and inheriting a lot of stuff. Now they're having to figure out what to keep and what not to.
Wowwwz ! Some of those comments were so unfounded. I’m so sorry you had to endure those. Yikes ! PLEASE don’t take them personally. It’s on THEM ; not you. That said, I can tell they were hurtful, & I don’t blame you for feeling hurt or floored by them.
Yayyy ! I am a big fan of all the minimalists / channels you mentioned … except 2 , but only b/c I’d never heard of them before. Big shout out to : ( in no particular order) : The Minimalists ( who I just watched today), Dawn / The Minimal Mom, Joshua Becker, Christina Mychas, Benita Larson, Vera, & Gabe ! Have watched you all within the past week , except Vera & Gabe. Gotta go watch them again soon, tooo !
Stay strong!!! Hurt people hurt people especially online. You are incredibly empathetic and insightful. Love from a fellow Hoosier!
That shopping list cooling off period is a great idea. Thank you
As a woman, I do not have an uncontrollable urge to go out and buy things. Except food. When I need it. I don't even experience a controllable urge to go out and buy things. I like saving money.
Food and books!😊
yes because that is a stereotype and not something that is actually in our nature. Heck, shoping is a social construct and not nature either. People who think that women naturally have urges as such don't think for themselves for one second
With hoarders, it's the urge to collect stuff. Spending money is a side effect. You can be a hoarder by going to garage sales and second hand stores, even picking stuff up by the side of the road.
Girl... you do not need everyone 's approval.
Keep looking forward!!
You e done a wonderful job explaining minimalism. I've been living this lifestyle for about five years and no one understands and I can't explain things as well as you. I'm loving living as a minimalist and you know if others can't understand it does it really matter? They don't know what they're missing!