I think some guys also suffer from what I would call the drought affect. Where are they haven’t had a dating relationship opportunity in a while and when a girl gives them attention and reciprocates it. To them it’s like having an ice cold bottle of water after not having water all day. not necessarily desperate but they feel like they’ve been deprived and they wanna take it as much as they can with that person, thus getting attached quickly. I think it’s important for men who haven’t dated in a while to not get attached too early on in the beginning and stay grounded with their logic and mindset. To not get desperate and take things slowly.
That's correct what you have written some men are needy because that's compensation behaviour a think this is a normal reaction but not in their Advantage ,when they see potential relation opportunity some men hurry up because they don't want to lose her
Jonathan B. Hey man great comment, you made me remain a big mistake I did a few years,as men when you don't feel appreciated for long time, you think a night stand is a wedding proposal, is so sad not have opportunities for long time..😓😥😢
My Mum and Dad died when I was 8, had serious intimacy and shyness issues, felt like no one would love me, but now im learning to love myself smashing the gym and talking to people I dont know, im the most confident ive ever been in life. Just wanted to thank Julia and David for the videos ❤
I am the poster boy for rejection. I do my best to be a gentleman, fun, funny, confident,.and I am a great conversationalist and I still get rejected by women right away. I stopped talking to women because they don't want to get to know me. Women don't even use me to get a free meal and entertainment from me. It is that sad....
Are you sure it’s sad. Most married men are lonely but can’t leave the relationship without loosing everything they worked for. Go make money spend it on yourself and enjoy life. If you want a woman vacation in a country you can pay for it.
Being a gentleman does not work with women. It's sad but the more you ignore them and treat them like just another human being, the better. Women are weird. The right one will come.
You feel crush and devastated.. until one sweet day when you don’t care anymore… this usually happens after 35 and after hundreds of bad experiences. You just don’t care.. even if she is mad about you or she rejects you.. life is about being happy not seeking happiness in modern women (only if you are a masochist 😅
I've for the most part given up on trying to find a girl to date. i'm 30 and been single 30 years encounting. I"ve never once been in a relationship; and I have never even been on a date with a woman. mainly because according to 99 percent of women i've had a potential interest to maybe try to date, they'd say i'm not "attractive enough" to date them. this day and age in my opinion, dating just doesn't seem worth it or not worth trying anymore.
Well maybe if you work on yourself a bit and make yourself a bit more attractive (not necessarily physically) you might have a better chance at it. Not saying this in a derogatory way my man 👍
@@charlesh817 working on myself is something I am working on, physically wise I hit the gym 4-5 days a week, I recently picked up a new job I started few months ago, though pay isn't the best. its about the same what I made at my previous job. However, where i'm at now, its not where I plan to stay I've got some goals of where I want to be, i'm just not there yet.
"You should get therapy or at least talk to someone..." the caveat to this, is that you need to be talking about this to the right people, not somebody who's gonna make fun of you. I was reflecting on my dating life issues in the past couple of years, and I realized something about my teenage years, when I was the Niceguy: _no one in my life told me to STOP being the Niceguy._ It wasn't until I did my homework myself that I stopped. And the fact is, when I stopped being the Niceguy, when I finally quit doing favors etc for people, those same people who never clarified that for me actually got _mad_ when I was no longer getting walked all over. So next time you're around your guy friends, your family, whoever, and you're tempted to go on a rant about "There's this girl..." stop, and ask yourself if this is a person that you actually would take advice from and intends to help you. But the sucky thing for me now, is that because of my major trust issues, I hardly ever share the struggles with anyone because on the rare occasion I do, I just get asked the exact same NPC questions that don't really help. "Have you tried dating apps. Have you joined a singles group at church." Also, because my current friend group that I happen to have happens to be a little more yes-man-y than I care for, I don't really ask them for dating advice; when I do present them something that happened with a girl, I always frame it as a declarative statement, _never_ a request for advice.
Thanks for helping me to avoid girls. Romantic relationships with women now a days are like a minefield so it is much better to have an easier life without stress staying single.
Bruh I hate to break it to you but romantic relationships were ALWAYS a mindfield for BOTH men and women. Humans are complicated creatures. Relationships are challenging and takes intentional work to maintain. Just build yourself to the best version of yourself and date with intention abd purpose. Even if you find the "perfect" girl you will run into issue every relationship does thats just what happens when you put two people togther. Think of it this way imagine if someone had that same mentality with other aspects of life? You would do literally nothing. For example driving a car is a "mindfield" but that doesnt stop you from driving if you applied this logic to cars you would never drive.
@@kc270352 That guy that women are chasing wont ever commit to them. Simply because he do have too many options so why should he. Women will never understand this and will continue to be someones past time.
@fugu4163 Tell yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. I found a hot rich tall guy pretty easily. And every 20-30 girl I know have boyfriends, most of them have kids now. They’re attractive men and can afford to contribute to a decent couples life. It’s really not asking that much, and it’s not women’s fault a lot of you wasted your youth playing video games or whatever. This is just a horrendously weak generation of men, the first that can’t pay all the bills and provide for a family. You’re asking for what your grandfather had without being half the man he was.
I dealt with being without my Dad, which I had to take care of my 4 sisters and mother (I'm an only son), to where all of them have never tell me the full story of how to ask out and attract women that I never been taught and being told very short detail of what women want until I was on my own, where I seen a lot of high expectations and red flags publicly and in-person, which is why I'm still single today
For starters, if she is smoking hot I know better than to even approach her. 😂 I have come to the conclusion that being happy just isn't in the cards for me.
I learned a lot from this. Sadly most of this is definitely what I do. About a few weeks ago. I stopped Looking for a relationship. Iv never dated anyone and have always wanted give and receive love. I do have standards but every girl im into is either too young , already dating or they push me away. 😢 Thanks for the facts though 👍
100% me recently. Edit: I'm literally throwing in the towel for the next 1-2 years. I'm completely focusing on me and my life before I think of inviting someone back in. I got played after breaking up with my fiance in 2020, got back in, and like another commenter said, I was desperate for cold water after a day in the sun. I screwed up and went all in too early and drove her away, despite the abundance of red flags friends and family mentioned.
Dude thus idea that you're supposed to be alone and rebuilding yourself is pretty much a total lie. You haven't met an actual match is the problem. Yeah if you have no money or you're fat it's going to be basically impossible to get someone young and fun but other than that it's a lie. There's a reason since the beginning of time man and woman have worked together this new generation is on some crazy bullshit
Hi Julia! I'm 57 years old and have a marriage of 20 years and common law relationship which both ended in both of the cheating on me. But that's ok ,you and David showed me the signs of a cheater and you both taught me how to accept my role and there's as to why the relationship was not nurtured,. Cheating is the cause of relationship that was but to fail. You both taught me to be a better person. Even in Canada relationship sometimes fail sometimes. So I will stuned to both your channels!keep up the great work!
Elles nous trompent constamment. C'est épidémique. Tous mes amis dans plusieurs pays ont été trompés et je l'ai été moi aussi. Elles se foutent de tout compromis. C'est le vrai bordel sortir avec les femmes "modernes".
Been feeling this loneliness shit everytime😢 Though Im not that bad that no one would ever want to talk with, Outlook is good, personality is good. I live by myself in my own home. I have a job. And finally, getting a beautiful woman is kinda the hardest part. Do you feel the same as me? It feels so bad
The RP calls this oneitis. It revolves around the idea of not understanding your value and placing too much of your own happiness on the love or validation from a women, voiding anything of value from yourself.
Not many people understand loneliness until they find themselves in the same situation, its not an easy thing to live with because as time passes... it sucks all your confidence away, your insecurity begins to kick into the mind hard and eats the soul. So loneliness is not something many would want to live with forever.
I have abandonment issues. I can tell because I fall for people really fast and people have no idea because I keep it inside & holding it back to be safe. I’ll do some soul searching and see what happens 💎
you have abandonment issues because you've been abandoned. the worse thing has already happened to you. so maybe think on that for a while. it helped me.
jx. please remember this -- you are a woman, you are attractive, and I doubt if you ever struggled to date or get a relationship, what men are offered today in the dating world is scary even lethal: too much obesity, entitlement, high partner counts, debt, drug/alcohol issues, party girls etc. -- we can only date what is available, and since you're not a man you don't see that side of it- lots of guys don't see women out there as WORTH the effort to pursue since they're already trainwrecks -- dating apps and social media help women overvalue themselves, most really don't want relationships -- they just want attention
Remember this is 50% of the story. Make sure you evaluate the women you date. Do not get pulled in to any love bombing or games. The most important thing for you is how she makes you feel. And the most important thing for her should be how you make her feel. Any uncertainty equates to manipulation or poor communication skills - avoid that nonsense at all cost (and always be working to improve your own communication skills).
Hi Julia I appreciate what you and your husband are doing and the advice you give. It seems like it’s geared more for younger men and women. I am 65 years old and it is difficult out here dating and meeting women other than online. I have done the online circuit for many years with some success but mostly not. Could you create an episode geared more for the older generation? Appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
For real. Alcohol and adultery ruined my parents marriage and getting abandoned a few times and molested a few times by baby sitters and seeing my mom with a black eye from getting beat up by new bfs set me on course to become a codependent people pleaser and I subconsciously and unnecessarily developed damage control tactics and struggle with being a compulsive over thinker and an easy target for manipulative women because usually they're attractive and usually I try to be Rizzilla. I'm in a program now and learning ways to heal and studying the bible alot. I know real ones still exist and they bring out the best in me. Just gotta keep my chin up and focus on my basketball skills literally and figuratively. Sometimes the best thing is to just go for a lay up and not feel like you have to score a dramatic left handed three point shot fade away. Some girls want to be dunked on. Some girls go for the jumper. Some girls want you to leave the ball in their court so to speak. Some girls don't even think of dating as a game but are straight forward. I've learned most of them all have a different approach. But us guys can set a trap for ourselves trying to go for the ones we are attracted to the most and for me that's girls in pain. Before I'm even aware of what it is and that stems from the environment I tried to grow up in, which was completely dysfunctional. Keep learning bros. This was an informative video. Spot on. Know yourself and your habits and learn how to accept the fact that you can get better and do better and know there are millions of good women out there and you literally don't need a baddy or a perfect woman. Be yourself and roll with the punches.
I’m on the autism spectrum, and endured a shit-ton of abuse from both family and peers growing up. I’ve made a nice career for myself and have decided to pursue accomplishments and goals instead of people. At least that way I can look at what I did objectively, and if something didn’t work out to my satisfaction, figure out what to do better next time. But with people in general, and women in particular, they are so fickle that my approach is totally ineffective, and I’ve concluded that they’re just not worth the effort. A few good ones will come to you, and I figure that’s as good as it is going to get
By default: Women avoid men who are facially unattractive, and show interest in men who are handsome. Dating coaches preach that being a well-groomed man with confidence/ nice personality is enough to compensate for being ugly. Even though, it sounds very appealing to the ears -- it's simplistic.
Yes compensate.. Women make assumptions. Hes grooming himself better because he is OVERCOMPENSATING Women dont like unattractive men to try to better themselves because it will be spun towards the negative anyway. Everything hes doing is just so he can try to get laid.
I've got attachment and abandonment issues for sure, I'm pretty good at keeping it internal, but I'll get quite interested in a woman quite quickly, and the feeling of rejection following is horrible.
As a woman, something I ran into a lot was I’d go on a first date or have a chat with a work colleague or just chat to someone in the bar, and they’d always think our nice chat was something big and deep and special. But it really was just a nice chat. I think it’s the clinginess/abandonment issues, guys tend to think if they talk deeply to a girl they barely know and she is just sympathetic and friendly that it’s some deep relationship. Also these guys have a habit of not showing their intentions, pretending to be a friend and then getting all weird later down the line because you really didn’t know they were having a relationship with you in their head. Now I just don’t have male friends and only entertain guys who are straight up and it works a whole lot better. Posing as a friend is an awful and honestly rather cruel way to meet girls for romance.
Well, guys are often misled early in life about being a friend first and eventually it will turn into more. How many movies have you seen where the girl all the sudden realizes her “friend” is the guy she should’ve been dating all along? As a guy I’ve learned to assume women are just being nice and not flirting because it can be very difficult to tell the difference. Women will also complain that a guy didn’t make a move when we assumed she was just being nice. Can’t have it both ways.
It’s okay to start as a genuine friend if that’s how you meet. But what guys do is they don’t have enough confidence to just be open about their intentions, become a fake friend and then get weird and stalkerish when the girl treats him exactly as he asked her to. Would you enjoy it if every other ‘friend’ you had suddenly ‘couldn’t do this anymore’? It’s a disgusting behavior and guys need to cut it out. If you like a girl you need to approach her and risk rejection or just leave her alone if you can’t do that. Women value friendships more than men and it’s a huge betrayal of trust to start a friendship intending to abandon her if she doesn’t give him what he never told her he wanted. It’s worse than anything you think the “assholes” we date do. Real friends wouldn’t hurt or abandon us or create awkward dramas and guys who do this are not nice or well intentioned, they’re assholes.
@Jay Bee, I understand what you're saying, for a guy, it's hard to know if a girl is just being nice or there acting in a way in the interaction that they want something more from that man. We get it mixed up all the time. And men and women don't like the awkward rejection either, but you have to have a mindset that you've known that person for long time and ask them in this example, I'm actually going to go to this store over there to go get a coffee if you want to join me. It could be that easy. But it can be hard.
I have been single for so long that I don’t even try achieving a relationship because it always ends. I fell for a girl because she was hot and I ignored all the red flags.
I don’t have abandonment issues. However I had a terrible childhood dominated by a strong, nasty mother who always criticized and shamed me (and my sister). Neither one of us developed healthy self-images nor did we develop normal relationships. I was very clingy in the beginning and scared many girls away. It actually took me until my mid-thirties to figure out how to just chill. Again I still don’t take rejection well but that’s not the worst part. Since I was 15 all I ever wanted was a woman in my life. I still believe it is the key to happiness. Why? Every time I have a girlfriend I like I’m on top of the world and nothing can bring me down! Of course it never lasts!
A lot of this applies to me. I've gone through phases of clingyness. But I don't think I show it. I'm quite conscious of realizing I shouldn't show it. But I think I overcompensate for it by sometimes showing NO attention or affection at all and then THAT sometimes makes things worse. But talking to my female friends, they'll tell you I'm probably clingy and definitely overthink haha. I do chalk it up to my childhood. I've been to therapy for it. My parents divorced when I was 4, I only saw my dad a few days a month and he wasn't especially affectionate. My mom was not very affectionate either, being a working single mom was hard on her, I know. And the fact my dad was a womanizer and my mom seemed to hate men I think really warped my view on relationships.
Being outcome-dependent is a real attraction-killer. You're going to do something fun, whether or not she's along for the ride. There's no pressure on her and she feels good that you want to include her in something you're doing.
It's annoying when women say "You would make a great husband, you're handsome, any woman would want to be with you, we can be friends 😬" And I'm like "WTF?"🤔
Becoming attached when she finds you unattractive is sending her 1 text. after the date.... That is how women classify an unattractive mans as him becoming attached
Years ago, I noriced that tjere are red flags... and things that "Red flag" just isnt bad enough of a description. So a few (FEW) red flags are one thing, like she has annoying habit, as nobody is going to be your 100%. However, there are Crimson flags which are the three. Wherw it can be something kind of bad... but correctible. Like if she's rude to waitstaff and you call her on it. Yet, even still, there are Black Flags, as well... the "One and Im out" boundaries. Like if she stands you up, or "My Onlyfans is really coming along nicely" Im out!
Staying busy and having a roster of chicks to date eliminates the"need" for attachment, having oneitis for a particular person creates that unnecessary need for attachment
To me A Great Relationship Starts With Communication Companionship Trust Faithful Honesty Those Are The Things I,m Looking For in a Woman I,m Single And Live In Ohio
”For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;“ I Corinthians 3:19 NKJV📖❤️🕎
Best plan of action is for the guy to signal his intention to be romantic right away. This lets the gal know where you are headed, your intentions. Biggest most important component is you get the thumbs up or down right away. Showing intention pushes the gal to make a decision. In essence you have made your decision, and are asking for hers. Don’t be a “friend” if that is not what you want. Women have to do too much emotional erasing and re-creation if you start as a “friend”.
@5:30Taking it slow hooking up after hanging out for a couple of times, a couple of times hanging out is taking it slow. lol This is not a church girl.
For me my parents did argue but then it got worse with time because both of ends have work on it and so for me I never had attachment at all I was very very not apart of my generation so therefore I wasn’t making stupid choices as a teenager because I was hanging out working with animals after school hrs and all that did my music I was searching for love but it wasn’t the right time and I wasn’t thinking that I knew I would have to be single for life and now I wish I would have understood that me as the person should have made myself happy first before searching for love it was wrong of me and yes I was wasting my time going to high school back then I never hanged out with friends never did and when I did it was only with 1 friend that was it and I never hung out with my other friends cause they were busy going to school, studying, trying to get by back then and all that.
Wait….so the first part: being compassionate and attached is seen as BAD? Women ARE a mystery. I guess I either pay for love or get a toy (like a woman) and do it myself….
Happened to me at 15 I got super attracted to this girl at church and she was way outta my league and I thought she liked me and then one day she told me she didn’t like me and that she was only being nice and I felt extremely fucked up after that. Now I learn never get attached and date only whose in your league or maybe a little less.
Love how david and julia dont even comment to peoples comments anymore, what a joke, david use to always comment on every comment years ago, hell atleast hire someone to use his TH-cam account that sits around all day commenting on peoples comments and get payed to use his account and comment on comments maybe?
Thanks for watching! Here’s the link to learn more & apply for my coaching program: beast-coaching.com
Thank you very much!
It probably super expensive.
I think some guys also suffer from what I would call the drought affect. Where are they haven’t had a dating relationship opportunity in a while and when a girl gives them attention and reciprocates it. To them it’s like having an ice cold bottle of water after not having water all day. not necessarily desperate but they feel like they’ve been deprived and they wanna take it as much as they can with that person, thus getting attached quickly. I think it’s important for men who haven’t dated in a while to not get attached too early on in the beginning and stay grounded with their logic and mindset. To not get desperate and take things slowly.
That's correct what you have written some men are needy because that's compensation behaviour a think this is a normal reaction but not in their Advantage ,when they see potential relation opportunity some men hurry up because they don't want to lose her
100%
You nailed it!
Jonathan B. Hey man great comment, you made me remain a big mistake I did a few years,as men when you don't feel appreciated for long time, you think a night stand is a wedding proposal, is so sad not have opportunities for long time..😓😥😢
Good analogy. I suff from these exact same things
She's a 💯 on point. Your childhood matters alot. It really does.
My Mum and Dad died when I was 8, had serious intimacy and shyness issues, felt like no one would love me, but now im learning to love myself smashing the gym and talking to people I dont know, im the most confident ive ever been in life. Just wanted to thank Julia and David for the videos ❤
Feeling unloved and worthless really ruins a person, until they conquer the trauma.
I've struggled with that for a lifetime, lacking assertiveness plays into that too
I am the poster boy for rejection. I do my best to be a gentleman, fun, funny, confident,.and I am a great conversationalist and I still get rejected by women right away. I stopped talking to women because they don't want to get to know me. Women don't even use me to get a free meal and entertainment from me. It is that sad....
Are you sure it’s sad. Most married men are lonely but can’t leave the relationship without loosing everything they worked for. Go make money spend it on yourself and enjoy life. If you want a woman vacation in a country you can pay for it.
"i do my best to be a gentleman" you are trying too much to please and women dont like that.
Being a gentleman does not work with women. It's sad but the more you ignore them and treat them like just another human being, the better. Women are weird. The right one will come.
You feel crush and devastated.. until one sweet day when you don’t care anymore… this usually happens after 35 and after hundreds of bad experiences. You just don’t care.. even if she is mad about you or she rejects you.. life is about being happy not seeking happiness in modern women (only if you are a masochist 😅
You're right
I've for the most part given up on trying to find a girl to date. i'm 30 and been single 30 years encounting. I"ve never once been in a relationship; and I have never even been on a date with a woman. mainly because according to 99 percent of women i've had a potential interest to maybe try to date, they'd say i'm not "attractive enough" to date them. this day and age in my opinion, dating just doesn't seem worth it or not worth trying anymore.
Ever heard the saying “there’s someone out there for everyone”?
@@blackshadexl I've heard that many times. but to be honest I don't believe in that saying.
@Black Shade XL That saying is bullshit and it's mathematically impossible, there is no exact 1:1 male to female ratio for that saying to work.
Well maybe if you work on yourself a bit and make yourself a bit more attractive (not necessarily physically) you might have a better chance at it. Not saying this in a derogatory way my man 👍
@@charlesh817 working on myself is something I am working on, physically wise I hit the gym 4-5 days a week, I recently picked up a new job I started few months ago, though pay isn't the best. its about the same what I made at my previous job. However, where i'm at now, its not where I plan to stay I've got some goals of where I want to be, i'm just not there yet.
Women ruined dating...Men are backing out in millions
"You should get therapy or at least talk to someone..." the caveat to this, is that you need to be talking about this to the right people, not somebody who's gonna make fun of you.
I was reflecting on my dating life issues in the past couple of years, and I realized something about my teenage years, when I was the Niceguy: _no one in my life told me to STOP being the Niceguy._ It wasn't until I did my homework myself that I stopped. And the fact is, when I stopped being the Niceguy, when I finally quit doing favors etc for people, those same people who never clarified that for me actually got _mad_ when I was no longer getting walked all over. So next time you're around your guy friends, your family, whoever, and you're tempted to go on a rant about "There's this girl..." stop, and ask yourself if this is a person that you actually would take advice from and intends to help you.
But the sucky thing for me now, is that because of my major trust issues, I hardly ever share the struggles with anyone because on the rare occasion I do, I just get asked the exact same NPC questions that don't really help. "Have you tried dating apps. Have you joined a singles group at church." Also, because my current friend group that I happen to have happens to be a little more yes-man-y than I care for, I don't really ask them for dating advice; when I do present them something that happened with a girl, I always frame it as a declarative statement, _never_ a request for advice.
Thanks for helping me to avoid girls.
Romantic relationships with women now a days are like a minefield so it is much better to have an easier life without stress staying single.
Bruh I hate to break it to you but romantic relationships were ALWAYS a mindfield for BOTH men and women. Humans are complicated creatures. Relationships are challenging and takes intentional work to maintain.
Just build yourself to the best version of yourself and date with intention abd purpose.
Even if you find the "perfect" girl you will run into issue every relationship does thats just what happens when you put two people togther.
Think of it this way imagine if someone had that same mentality with other aspects of life? You would do literally nothing.
For example driving a car is a "mindfield" but that doesnt stop you from driving if you applied this logic to cars you would never drive.
@@gmoney6595 women only chase you if you're that guy to her with high interest, most guys are not that guy lmao
@@xMckingwill Now a days it is mostly a minefield for men because of laws and "modern" women.
Besides i dont own a car because i dont need one.
@@kc270352 That guy that women are chasing wont ever commit to them.
Simply because he do have too many options so why should he.
Women will never understand this and will continue to be someones past time.
@fugu4163 Tell yourself that if it helps you sleep at night. I found a hot rich tall guy pretty easily. And every 20-30 girl I know have boyfriends, most of them have kids now. They’re attractive men and can afford to contribute to a decent couples life. It’s really not asking that much, and it’s not women’s fault a lot of you wasted your youth playing video games or whatever. This is just a horrendously weak generation of men, the first that can’t pay all the bills and provide for a family. You’re asking for what your grandfather had without being half the man he was.
I dealt with being without my Dad, which I had to take care of my 4 sisters and mother (I'm an only son), to where all of them have never tell me the full story of how to ask out and attract women that I never been taught and being told very short detail of what women want until I was on my own, where I seen a lot of high expectations and red flags publicly and in-person, which is why I'm still single today
For starters, if she is smoking hot I know better than to even approach her. 😂
I have come to the conclusion that being happy just isn't in the cards for me.
I learned a lot from this. Sadly most of this is definitely what I do. About a few weeks ago. I stopped Looking for a relationship. Iv never dated anyone and have always wanted give and receive love. I do have standards but every girl im into is either too young , already dating or they push me away. 😢
Thanks for the facts though 👍
Keep making effort and trying you will there I promise, but please never forget to focus on yourself
100% me recently.
Edit: I'm literally throwing in the towel for the next 1-2 years. I'm completely focusing on me and my life before I think of inviting someone back in. I got played after breaking up with my fiance in 2020, got back in, and like another commenter said, I was desperate for cold water after a day in the sun. I screwed up and went all in too early and drove her away, despite the abundance of red flags friends and family mentioned.
Dude thus idea that you're supposed to be alone and rebuilding yourself is pretty much a total lie. You haven't met an actual match is the problem. Yeah if you have no money or you're fat it's going to be basically impossible to get someone young and fun but other than that it's a lie. There's a reason since the beginning of time man and woman have worked together this new generation is on some crazy bullshit
Hi Julia! I'm 57 years old and have a marriage of 20 years and common law relationship which both ended in both of the cheating on me. But that's ok ,you and David showed me the signs of a cheater and you both taught me how to accept my role and there's as to why the relationship was not nurtured,. Cheating is the cause of relationship that was but to fail. You both taught me to be a better person. Even in Canada relationship sometimes fail sometimes. So I will stuned to both your channels!keep up the great work!
Elles nous trompent constamment. C'est épidémique. Tous mes amis dans plusieurs pays ont été trompés et je l'ai été moi aussi.
Elles se foutent de tout compromis.
C'est le vrai bordel sortir avec les femmes "modernes".
Been feeling this loneliness shit everytime😢 Though Im not that bad that no one would ever want to talk with, Outlook is good, personality is good. I live by myself in my own home. I have a job. And finally, getting a beautiful woman is kinda the hardest part. Do you feel the same as me? It feels so bad
Yeah I had that recently with my last partner. I found that being Single is great for now till the right situation comes along.
The RP calls this oneitis. It revolves around the idea of not understanding your value and placing too much of your own happiness on the love or validation from a women, voiding anything of value from yourself.
Thank you for explaining how I feel inside. I never really realized it.
Not many people understand loneliness until they find themselves in the same situation, its not an easy thing to live with because as time passes... it sucks all your confidence away, your insecurity begins to kick into the mind hard and eats the soul. So loneliness is not something many would want to live with forever.
That is me, 100% so what do you do ,I have been abandoned 🤔 so many times. Now I don't get excited and I don't fall in love
if youre not good looking forget it....end of story.
I just keep my expectations low, then I'll never be disappointed 🤷
I have abandonment issues. I can tell because I fall for people really fast and people have no idea because I keep it inside & holding it back to be safe. I’ll do some soul searching and see what happens 💎
Do some research to learn to truly loving yourself before doing anything else, specially before getting in a relationship. Trust me…
Do some research to learn to truly loving yourself before doing anything else, specially before getting in a relationship. Trust me…
you have abandonment issues because you've been abandoned. the worse thing has already happened to you. so maybe think on that for a while. it helped me.
jx. please remember this -- you are a woman, you are attractive, and I doubt if you ever struggled to date or get a relationship, what men are offered today in the dating world is scary even lethal: too much obesity, entitlement, high partner counts, debt, drug/alcohol issues, party girls etc. -- we can only date what is available, and since you're not a man you don't see that side of it- lots of guys don't see women out there as WORTH the effort to pursue since they're already trainwrecks -- dating apps and social media help women overvalue themselves, most really don't want relationships -- they just want attention
Remember this is 50% of the story. Make sure you evaluate the women you date. Do not get pulled in to any love bombing or games.
The most important thing for you is how she makes you feel. And the most important thing for her should be how you make her feel.
Any uncertainty equates to manipulation or poor communication skills - avoid that nonsense at all cost (and always be working to improve your own communication skills).
Hi Julia I appreciate what you and your husband are doing and the advice you give. It seems like it’s geared more for younger men and women. I am 65 years old and it is difficult out here dating and meeting women other than online. I have done the online circuit for many years with some success but mostly not. Could you create an episode geared more for the older generation?
Appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
❤
just go to philipines man, you'll find someone
For real. Alcohol and adultery ruined my parents marriage and getting abandoned a few times and molested a few times by baby sitters and seeing my mom with a black eye from getting beat up by new bfs set me on course to become a codependent people pleaser and I subconsciously and unnecessarily developed damage control tactics and struggle with being a compulsive over thinker and an easy target for manipulative women because usually they're attractive and usually I try to be Rizzilla.
I'm in a program now and learning ways to heal and studying the bible alot. I know real ones still exist and they bring out the best in me. Just gotta keep my chin up and focus on my basketball skills literally and figuratively. Sometimes the best thing is to just go for a lay up and not feel like you have to score a dramatic left handed three point shot fade away. Some girls want to be dunked on. Some girls go for the jumper. Some girls want you to leave the ball in their court so to speak. Some girls don't even think of dating as a game but are straight forward. I've learned most of them all have a different approach. But us guys can set a trap for ourselves trying to go for the ones we are attracted to the most and for me that's girls in pain. Before I'm even aware of what it is and that stems from the environment I tried to grow up in, which was completely dysfunctional.
Keep learning bros. This was an informative video. Spot on. Know yourself and your habits and learn how to accept the fact that you can get better and do better and know there are millions of good women out there and you literally don't need a baddy or a perfect woman. Be yourself and roll with the punches.
Thanks for diving deep in this video and the great advice as always. A few things that really hit me specifically in the beginning and the middle.
I’m on the autism spectrum, and endured a shit-ton of abuse from both family and peers growing up. I’ve made a nice career for myself and have decided to pursue accomplishments and goals instead of people. At least that way I can look at what I did objectively, and if something didn’t work out to my satisfaction, figure out what to do better next time. But with people in general, and women in particular, they are so fickle that my approach is totally ineffective, and I’ve concluded that they’re just not worth the effort. A few good ones will come to you, and I figure that’s as good as it is going to get
By default: Women avoid men who are facially unattractive, and show interest in men who are handsome. Dating coaches preach that being a well-groomed man with confidence/ nice personality is enough to compensate for being ugly. Even though, it sounds very appealing to the ears -- it's simplistic.
Yes compensate.. Women make assumptions. Hes grooming himself better because he is OVERCOMPENSATING Women dont like unattractive men to try to better themselves because it will be spun towards the negative anyway. Everything hes doing is just so he can try to get laid.
I've got attachment and abandonment issues for sure, I'm pretty good at keeping it internal, but I'll get quite interested in a woman quite quickly, and the feeling of rejection following is horrible.
This video came from her heart in chapter 2 you can hear her emotions, someone give her a hug 🫂
As a woman, something I ran into a lot was I’d go on a first date or have a chat with a work colleague or just chat to someone in the bar, and they’d always think our nice chat was something big and deep and special. But it really was just a nice chat. I think it’s the clinginess/abandonment issues, guys tend to think if they talk deeply to a girl they barely know and she is just sympathetic and friendly that it’s some deep relationship. Also these guys have a habit of not showing their intentions, pretending to be a friend and then getting all weird later down the line because you really didn’t know they were having a relationship with you in their head. Now I just don’t have male friends and only entertain guys who are straight up and it works a whole lot better. Posing as a friend is an awful and honestly rather cruel way to meet girls for romance.
Well, guys are often misled early in life about being a friend first and eventually it will turn into more. How many movies have you seen where the girl all the sudden realizes her “friend” is the guy she should’ve been dating all along? As a guy I’ve learned to assume women are just being nice and not flirting because it can be very difficult to tell the difference. Women will also complain that a guy didn’t make a move when we assumed she was just being nice. Can’t have it both ways.
It’s okay to start as a genuine friend if that’s how you meet. But what guys do is they don’t have enough confidence to just be open about their intentions, become a fake friend and then get weird and stalkerish when the girl treats him exactly as he asked her to. Would you enjoy it if every other ‘friend’ you had suddenly ‘couldn’t do this anymore’? It’s a disgusting behavior and guys need to cut it out. If you like a girl you need to approach her and risk rejection or just leave her alone if you can’t do that.
Women value friendships more than men and it’s a huge betrayal of trust to start a friendship intending to abandon her if she doesn’t give him what he never told her he wanted. It’s worse than anything you think the “assholes” we date do. Real friends wouldn’t hurt or abandon us or create awkward dramas and guys who do this are not nice or well intentioned, they’re assholes.
Why not get to know you first? What’s wrong with that?
@Jay Bee, I understand what you're saying, for a guy, it's hard to know if a girl is just being nice or there acting in a way in the interaction that they want something more from that man. We get it mixed up all the time. And men and women don't like the awkward rejection either, but you have to have a mindset that you've known that person for long time and ask them in this example, I'm actually going to go to this store over there to go get a coffee if you want to join me. It could be that easy. But it can be hard.
Never really had female friends not worth the effort. But I'm older and really could just play in my band and do my own thing with or without them
I have been single for so long that I don’t even try achieving a relationship because it always ends. I fell for a girl because she was hot and I ignored all the red flags.
I don’t have abandonment issues. However I had a terrible childhood dominated by a strong, nasty mother who always criticized and shamed me (and my sister). Neither one of us developed healthy self-images nor did we develop normal relationships. I was very clingy in the beginning and scared many girls away. It actually took me until my mid-thirties to figure out how to just chill. Again I still don’t take rejection well but that’s not the worst part. Since I was 15 all I ever wanted was a woman in my life. I still believe it is the key to happiness. Why? Every time I have a girlfriend I like I’m on top of the world and nothing can bring me down! Of course it never lasts!
She needs to put a link in the description for the music in the background cuz it's so relaxing😌😌
A lot of this applies to me. I've gone through phases of clingyness. But I don't think I show it. I'm quite conscious of realizing I shouldn't show it. But I think I overcompensate for it by sometimes showing NO attention or affection at all and then THAT sometimes makes things worse. But talking to my female friends, they'll tell you I'm probably clingy and definitely overthink haha.
I do chalk it up to my childhood. I've been to therapy for it. My parents divorced when I was 4, I only saw my dad a few days a month and he wasn't especially affectionate. My mom was not very affectionate either, being a working single mom was hard on her, I know. And the fact my dad was a womanizer and my mom seemed to hate men I think really warped my view on relationships.
Anxious preoccupied...
I don't find any girls that are free or every girl I talk to says I'm scary. I do smile when I go out but no girl ever shows any interest.
What does it feel like to be loved and wanted by someone?
Being outcome-dependent is a real attraction-killer. You're going to do something fun, whether or not she's along for the ride. There's no pressure on her and she feels good that you want to include her in something you're doing.
When I am alone and all by myself I get a lot of things done.
Yes this is 100 percent my problem with women especialy the first thing she said attached to quickly but i'm working on that .
Dating strategically is manipulation. Love has become a drug and life is too short to be constantly chasing your next fix.
It's annoying when women say "You would make a great husband, you're handsome, any woman would want to be with you, we can be friends 😬"
And I'm like "WTF?"🤔
Been hung up on this walking redheaded redflag for a few months. I have fwb but I want her lol. Ugh it's such a mentle hurdle.
Yea the salutation to getting attached early is just don't ever talk to any girl problem solved
Excellent video. Rings true in every sense 👍
I’m in love with this girl at work and it’s killing me inside bc she’s constantly on my mind. ❤
Becoming attached when she finds you unattractive is sending her 1 text. after the date.... That is how women classify an unattractive mans as him becoming attached
Thanks Julia 💎
Grounded and honest video. Thank you an your husband
Years ago, I noriced that tjere are red flags... and things that "Red flag" just isnt bad enough of a description. So a few (FEW) red flags are one thing, like she has annoying habit, as nobody is going to be your 100%.
However, there are Crimson flags which are the three. Wherw it can be something kind of bad... but correctible. Like if she's rude to waitstaff and you call her on it.
Yet, even still, there are Black Flags, as well... the "One and Im out" boundaries. Like if she stands you up, or "My Onlyfans is really coming along nicely" Im out!
Simple fix, get a escort
Thanks for the video, good information, I appreciate to see this
My ex has so many red flags she is literally an embassy
Thanks for the content 🙃
Staying busy and having a roster of chicks to date eliminates the"need" for attachment, having oneitis for a particular person creates that unnecessary need for attachment
To me A Great Relationship Starts With Communication Companionship Trust Faithful Honesty Those Are The Things I,m Looking For in a Woman I,m Single And Live In Ohio
Wow 👌🏿 what a video had this in my past wanted to be loved so bad
Now i realise dont need love i just need what i want
Good video
@Jermaine Patterson
Sure , just don’t expect to be relevant to your partner in any aspect 😂
Don’t ask why she acts like she doesn’t care about you
@@andresbgjwmt6973 i don't ask cause got everything i want cause of my attitude 😊
@@jermainepatterson3213 well, at the end you will crash with reality 😉
@@andresbgjwmt6973 what reality that we all gonna die eventually
Yessssss I love psychology julia
Great advice... subscribed !!
”For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their own craftiness”;“
I Corinthians 3:19 NKJV📖❤️🕎
Best plan of action is for the guy to signal his intention to be romantic right away. This lets the gal know where you are headed, your intentions. Biggest most important component is you get the thumbs up or down right away. Showing intention pushes the gal to make a decision. In essence you have made your decision, and are asking for hers. Don’t be a “friend” if that is not what you want. Women have to do too much emotional erasing and re-creation if you start as a “friend”.
That only works for Chads.. If your unattractive you're seen as controlling
Yup… been there done that. Women are fucking complicated and I’m over it.
If you're not Chad, dating is difficult. There, I just explained it all. Good luck.
I did this.
Thanks Julia I am though this myself a lot.
You should have this classes in school
@5:30Taking it slow hooking up after hanging out for a couple of times, a couple of times hanging out is taking it slow. lol This is not a church girl.
Healthy gamer has a video on this as well, its crazy that we were able to identify it
For me my parents did argue but then it got worse with time because both of ends have work on it and so for me I never had attachment at all I was very very not apart of my generation so therefore I wasn’t making stupid choices as a teenager because I was hanging out working with animals after school hrs and all that did my music I was searching for love but it wasn’t the right time and I wasn’t thinking that I knew I would have to be single for life and now I wish I would have understood that me as the person should have made myself happy first before searching for love it was wrong of me and yes I was wasting my time going to high school back then I never hanged out with friends never did and when I did it was only with 1 friend that was it and I never hung out with my other friends cause they were busy going to school, studying, trying to get by back then and all that.
Or just avoid women altogether
I don't even run into any women I'm interested in.
3 of more, hit the door.
Any books suggestions for overcomining abandonment & attachment
Women run when they see me in uniform.🍟🍔
Very good video, thank you.
more like they play games and never want to be loyal
Exactly
6 figures 6 pack 6 feet 666
🔥🔥🔥
4- BOOKS 📚 1. THINK AND GROW RICH 2. THE SECRET 3. THE 4 HOUR WORK WEEK 4. RICH DAD POOR DAD ! 💰
So true ❤
Love for losers
How does that sound for a title ?
I think its actually girls go shopping for men and just lead a lot of men on
MATHEW ..CHP 24
I want you as my coach
completly guilty
Wait….so the first part: being compassionate and attached is seen as BAD?
Women ARE a mystery. I guess I either pay for love or get a toy (like a woman) and do it myself….
Happened to me at 15 I got super attracted to this girl at church and she was way outta my league and I thought she liked me and then one day she told me she didn’t like me and that she was only being nice and I felt extremely fucked up after that. Now I learn never get attached and date only whose in your league or maybe a little less.
How do you tell if you in they league or vice versa?
The leagues are only in your head
Just be fking cool, don t be needy and u will get tons of chicks.
1 Red flag might be enough to 86 yourself from her.. All red flags are not created equal.
86 meatloaf 😂
Love how david and julia dont even comment to peoples comments anymore, what a joke, david use to always comment on every comment years ago, hell atleast hire someone to use his TH-cam account that sits around all day commenting on peoples comments and get payed to use his account and comment on comments maybe?
👏
Are you si gle or married etc
Why I couldn't give are @#$%
18-20 virgin or practice.
julia you have great content but a creepy smile lol