Regular Relationship Struggles vs Toxic Patterns: Discerning the Difference

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 93

  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
    krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

    • @daisytoromanzano8865
      @daisytoromanzano8865 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hi. Very good list to help distinguish a wounded sheep vs a wolf on sheep’s clothing. Many abuses outhere.
      Did you ever have to do the covid test and shots?

  • @SarahOhio-t7u
    @SarahOhio-t7u 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +122

    I recently went through a tough breakup. My 7 year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been really hard for me. I still love my ex so much and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried everything to win him back, but nothing has worked. It's frustrating, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. I've been trying to move on, but I can't seem to get him out of my mind. I know it might sound strange to share this here, but I miss him a lot and just can't stop thinking about him.

    • @ChristineCole-u3f
      @ChristineCole-u3f 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar situation when my 12 year relationship ended. I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to win him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, and their guidance ultimately helped me to bring him back into my life.

    • @SarahOhio-t7u
      @SarahOhio-t7u 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I contact them?

    • @ChristineCole-u3f
      @ChristineCole-u3f 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help restore your relationship with your ex.

    • @SarahOhio-t7u
      @SarahOhio-t7u 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thanks for sharing this valuable information. I just looked him up online and I'm impressed.

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

    Thank you!!! I have had that verse quoted to me more times than I can count, "only God knows the heart." My answer to them was what God said: "you shall know them by their fruit", bad fruit is the opposite of the fruit of Christ. The fruit of the Spirit of God is "love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness and self-control." These are the character qualities of Christ, if someone does not have this fruit they do not belong to God.

    • @marco13mag
      @marco13mag 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Amen! Before that relationship I had all the fruits but than 3 months in the bad fruits from that person was effecting me and rubbing off of me. To the point to where it was making me sick. And I never wanted to be around the person.

    • @enojelmeli
      @enojelmeli 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      This!!
      "A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. Matthew 7:17-18
      This was the litmus test I used for my ex. Nice guy with a good heart but he was very troubled. His baby mama? Toxicity personified. With their traits combined... 😬 I just praise the Lord for getting me out and away from their perpetually problematic lives. He is truly a Savior. 🙌🏾

    • @vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321
      @vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Thank you! I made a screen shot of your comment.

    • @deannamartinez7233
      @deannamartinez7233 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      AMEN!!!!! So TRUE!!!
      In JESUS Name AMEN And Amen!!!!!
      🙌❤️✝️🤗🥰

  • @CrystolynMacklin
    @CrystolynMacklin 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +24

    "Stop absorbing and start observing." 👌🏽

    • @AS-gf5jn
      @AS-gf5jn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yup just sit back and watch the games while being a grey rock. Eventually they flee. They need action, drama, and poo poo to fuel their toxic addictions.

  • @mayruthuganda
    @mayruthuganda 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    They don't value you for who you are they value you for what you do

    • @mjharris5999
      @mjharris5999 22 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      … or what supply you can/do provide.

  • @Crazynchrist24
    @Crazynchrist24 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Thank you for this insight. I’m in the wilderness of healing and my eyes are open and you’re always spot on. May God continue to bless you and your ministry 😘

  • @RominaBetgevergiz
    @RominaBetgevergiz 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +31

    Can you please make an episode of toxic parents and siblings

  • @debbiephillips3017
    @debbiephillips3017 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    This was good to hear. The Holy Spirit helped me throughout my toxic relationship. I ended up divorcing the person when I realized the person I married was just trying to get my house and land. He married the lady before me and had her locked up in his place until one day the neighbor helped her to escape. He took her for 280,000. She's ended up in a nursing home which was much safer for her. I learned about this much later after being with him. Being in that toxic relationship taught me valuable lessons. The Holy Spirit showed me the truth about the person. I thought he was troubled when he was actually toxic and dangerous. God kept me safe! I am no longer gullible. 10:13 I listen to what people are saying, but pay close attention to their fruit. My ex would say one thing but do a different thing. I'm happy being single and having God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit in my life. I don't need a man. God is enough for me.

    • @mjharris5999
      @mjharris5999 22 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Praise Jesus!

  • @Godgirl42
    @Godgirl42 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    You have no idea how helpful this is right now I’ve been sitting back and observing his reactions and behaviors. He has some serious serious issues and I have no idea how I’m gonna deal with this long-term. It’s already been 14 years.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I'm so glad it was helpful

  • @loischan8551
    @loischan8551 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Thank you Kris for your timely video. Another emotional outburst this morning and i'm just hanging in there for the right time. Thank God for sending you into my life. It always helps me stand guard and put me back in perspective again and be firm and not soft hearted, knowing he will never change unless God works a miracle in his life. 😪

    • @melodyjane71
      @melodyjane71 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Praying for you.

  • @clicciardi
    @clicciardi 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Of all the hundreds of videos I've absorbed the last couple of years, from multiple experts in this space, these 7 points Kris Reece points out the things that are missing in a toxic relationship (as opposed to just a troubled one) describe my life, for many years, to an absolute "T"-- EVERY. LAST. ONE. Thank you for helping confirm that I'm not crazy and the other person really is toxic..... If I didn't know better I'd say you have microphones in my house!

  • @denisegauci832
    @denisegauci832 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Short vid of essential tips for keeping at bay extremely selfish people out of your life. Thank you Reese. Remain blessed and highly favored

  • @sherrilynn8043
    @sherrilynn8043 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    What a great comparison, great video, thanks for all you do :) God Bless!!

  • @aysebol4179
    @aysebol4179 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    I like the way you list and explain. And especially with scripture.

  • @DawnietotheMax
    @DawnietotheMax 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    3:09 and 6:5 says Carry your own load. We can sometimes carry their burden but they must carry their own load.

  • @celinechauvet1067
    @celinechauvet1067 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Completely true ! Personnally, I fled from the toxic person. God bless you !

  • @Gracialahaight
    @Gracialahaight 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.

  • @petagreeranch3606
    @petagreeranch3606 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    DID NOT CLARIFY MYSELF..YES MARRIED FEELING ALONE,,,GAVE ALL I HAVE TO GIVE...FEEL USED...REALIZE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION.... IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE A MAN/WOMAN... STAY STRONG IN THE LORD....FOR IN SOME WAY I AM BLESSED WITH POSSESSIONS JUST NO FRIENDSHIPS.. A LONE IN A MARRIAGE.. TD

    • @KM-zb9eg
      @KM-zb9eg 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sending love your way .

    • @robina3443
      @robina3443 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🙏🏾🔯💪🏾✝️💯🕊️

  • @Somewheredownintexas
    @Somewheredownintexas 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is so incredibly on point. The blur between troubled and toxic, characteristics of a toxic vs troubled relationships.. really fantastic advice.. I would say I’m in a highly troubled to mildly toxic relationship with someone who thinks there is nothing wrong but they are in a constant struggle to prove to everyone else they are great.. this person spends more time on that than being a great wife.. it’s a confusing situation

  • @fisherofmen9212
    @fisherofmen9212 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thanks, Kris. This gives me discernment about how we got here after 26.5 years and gives me hope for further improvements in our marriage.

  • @traceyjude1
    @traceyjude1 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    His apology was sincere but timing was awful. He got caught. Then he justified by throwing it back on me. Then later apologized. I’m still discerning and observing and having none of his BS. Thank you Kris for helping me see there may be hope. Troubled, I can work with. Time will tell. I see with new eyes now.

  • @susanwang8914
    @susanwang8914 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks for making this distinction! I’m trying to navigate a troubled relationship but so much advice is tailored towards toxic relationships that I have a hard time finding what is actually applicable for my situation. I know major renovations need to take place but I don’t have to push over the whole house. Thanks so much!

  • @makeupbyahshia
    @makeupbyahshia 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Every step sounds as if you live in my home and see exactly what's going on.Wow!!!!

  • @considerthebirds
    @considerthebirds 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Interestingly the toxic person I’m dealing with would say I am everything talked about here.

  • @vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321
    @vivainvestparaguayvivainve2321 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I'm new to this channel. I like the way Kris teaches. And I read a lot of comments here. I didn't found much hate and darkness. Thies are the fruits of Kris's tree.
    May it grow!

  • @susanlongsine9022
    @susanlongsine9022 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    So glad my friend in "Christ" sent your website to me! I've gone to other narcissistic sites, but not according to God's word..I live in a very lonely existence with an unbeliever. Bc of my health I remain under the same roof. But am dealing with a real winner! He can't do anything wrong. No compassion whatsoever 😢 God is my refuge and fortress. He's good at calling me names. Have to be mindful of my triggers. TY for your videos.. God bless you 🙏✝️🎶😊

  • @blueskiesforever114
    @blueskiesforever114 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank u Kris! You are awesome and much appreciated ✝️💗🙏

  • @carmenmangion4652
    @carmenmangion4652 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thankyou so much I m learning . I finished with him

  • @TYGZus777
    @TYGZus777 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    My pot-stirring SIL, of almost 40 years, told me over my dying brother's bed that we were the weirdest family she had ever met and after my brother died she never wants to have anything to do with us again. And that she was not going to let us be any part of his funeral business. She had literally stopped talking to us up to that point, telling our dying brother that we were mad at her??? Then, when my brother died, she went around crying to everyone that we weren't there for her. After smearing my nuclear family's reputation to everyone, I finally reached out to her to remind her of all of her violent words to me on the day of my brother's death. To which she replied: "I don't appreciate having words put in my mouth." ???!

    • @jennifercooper3812
      @jennifercooper3812 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She must be a gaslighter

    • @mommygaynell
      @mommygaynell 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@TYGZus777 brutal!

  • @michelleglover2045
    @michelleglover2045 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is good stuff!!!

  • @FoundLamb
    @FoundLamb 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    All I can say is… yup…

  • @Austin1990
    @Austin1990 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    As good as your video is, I am disappointed because it confirms what I was concerned about. I keep getting with people who exhibit traits in the middle. An unapologetic wall of unaccountability (blaming me for everything) enables (seemingly) troubled motives to justify very toxic behaviors. Thankfully, I don’t really have triggers anymore, but I still need to decide how to navigate these gray areas. Thank you.

  • @marjattaelliott1158
    @marjattaelliott1158 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Halleja I start observing, thank you for this video, it was so helpful. I am married with a toxic clergy man. May God help me to speak the truth with love come what will.❤🎉😅😢

  • @abbasjoy4785
    @abbasjoy4785 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I lovethis!!! ❤

  • @ninamars357
    @ninamars357 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thanks, Kris. Appreciate all your videos!

  • @joybertino5847
    @joybertino5847 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    How do you get rid of your toxic, financially, emotionally abusive husband when they hold all the financial cards and everything is in your name not there's and my son and I have no where to go and my salary is below poverty?

    • @sharonmcgillivray2119
      @sharonmcgillivray2119 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      11:10 Pray to God for guidance, you can do this in your mind as only God will know and can read your thoughts. Praying for you and your situation ❤ God will make a way where there seems to be no way 1 Corinthians 10: 13
      Hope it helps

    • @VlogsbyARE
      @VlogsbyARE 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Girl, you just gotta pray everyday to God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost to help you in any way shape or form. Then save up money however you can. I'm in the same boat as you and that's the best advice I can give. Anchor everything into God's hands. God bless sister and have faith.

    • @PracticalChristianWarfare
      @PracticalChristianWarfare 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      there are legal sources of assistance out there and women’s shelters to assist you with somewhere to stay. do some research. talk with a lawyer who has experience. i pray God go before you and put the right people in your path. 🙏

    • @fabulousfamily564
      @fabulousfamily564 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Can you cancel some of the things in your name, right before you go? Or right after? Can you report identity theft, or put an alert for possible theft? When you run, take all the files with you. Take anything special and small enough to carry. Most of all, get you and your children out.

  • @LindaStokes-ff2kv
    @LindaStokes-ff2kv 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Thank you for this ❤

  • @itschriscolin
    @itschriscolin 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    These videos are so excellent. Thanks Kris

  • @marvthedog1972
    @marvthedog1972 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    thanks for your videos. They are very informative, well thought out in presentation and offer a very grounded biblically based approach to the topics you address. They have helped me a great deal to begin the healing process after the 5 year custody battle with my covert narc ex wife and a recent betrayal of trust from someone at work i considered a best friend. They've also helped me realize some of my own codependent traits I need to work on. thank you

  • @maxwell-cole
    @maxwell-cole 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is sooooooo good. Excellent and 💯 informative.

  • @HlseMdce
    @HlseMdce 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you from Switzerland 🇨🇭 This video helps me discerning between troubled/toxic people 🙏🏼

  • @Horizon25
    @Horizon25 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thanks for this

  • @AAA34FL448
    @AAA34FL448 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So true

  • @Rose4y
    @Rose4y 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you ❤.

  • @nancykummen1805
    @nancykummen1805 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks so much for your help. You are so right on 👍

  • @MidlifeMakeoverMovement
    @MidlifeMakeoverMovement 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I love this explanation. Thank you so much.

  • @genegant998
    @genegant998 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    26 years old step daughter is emotionally emerged into her mother, my wife, stepdaughter purchased a house and still staying in my home and consuming her mother my wife

  • @JadeForth-cu4lu
    @JadeForth-cu4lu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Bang on boy I need help right now

  • @relaxcalmly1742
    @relaxcalmly1742 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Help! I’m so confused.. my husband cheated 5 years ago. I fought and stood for the marriage and he eventually came back. I’m the Christian, he isn’t. The response my husband tells me each time is he is sorry. He will hug me gently when he realize how hurt i am. But throughout the years of him saying he want to make it work, he hasn’t ever initiate any kind of work for our marriage. He kept saying he is trying and uses he works and he tries to take us out, etc. I have already addressed that those arent the resolve to the pain i have. I’m not recovering after 5 years of pain. When i would be frustrated through the years, we would argue and he has used words that imply that i need to get over it or that he will get there. As a Christian wife, i have tried to save the marriage all this time. But i am so tired now and i lost all my desire for the marriage or him. Help me understand if in am going to be judged by God if i leave him please?

    • @vicnoid1
      @vicnoid1 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      As I understand the Bible you can divorce coz of infidelity, he isn’t a Christian the Bible says if a non Christian wants to stay either the Christian spouse then do so but if they don’t (cheating husband is showing he does not ) u can divorce

    • @stephanieboyer8439
      @stephanieboyer8439 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      U r free to go. He broke his covenant with u. It's OK to love him as a fellow creation of the Lord but not love him as ur husband anymore. The Lord came to set the prisoners free. Ur husband poor choice can b used to set u free.

    • @relaxcalmly1742
      @relaxcalmly1742 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@vicnoid1 Thank you. It’s a good perspective that I failed to realize. He doesn’t seem to really want me. Actions speaks louder than words. He first cheated and then didn’t truly show me I can trust him again.

    • @relaxcalmly1742
      @relaxcalmly1742 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@stephanieboyer8439 Thank you. I have decided to do so now. Time - wise, I have a bit more to lose than he does. We don’t have any children, and now that I’m in my mid 30s, biologically, I suffer more as I may not be able to be a mother. I felt robbed of 5 years (since he cheated) and now I will have to find peace and healing from this. As the one who was betrayed, I shouldn’t be the one leading the repairs. Perhaps he doesn’t really love me. I feel i sacrificed so much.

  • @RuthA-td2qp
    @RuthA-td2qp หลายเดือนก่อน

    Bear one another’s burden but remember the following verses as well:
    Micah 7:5-6
    5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.
    Jeremiah 9:4-5
    4 Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders.
    5 And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity.

  • @oghenetegaisrael2889
    @oghenetegaisrael2889 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Many thanks 🎉

  • @epiphanist
    @epiphanist หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks Kris! Could you please also make a vid discussing all the specific differences between (full-time) female narcissists vs the (‘Red-Pill’ correctable) common unenlightened immature insecure low-EQ childish-adult female disposition which may tend to be somewhat pre-narcissistic yet which can (OFTEN?) digress into at least episodic incredibly narcissistic behaviours (well on the way to becoming full-time NPD, if they keep up their arrogant unteachablness & self-idolatry)?
    ...&... how to convince, or at least best help them to convince themselves, that they need to be ‘Red-Pilled’ "to see the light" (of God's Way, unequivocally requiring us to absolutely humbly crucify our fleshliness by His Spirit)?
    & Please consider interviewing Karyn Seitz from The Happy Wife School channel!

  • @JayThaSpeaker
    @JayThaSpeaker 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amen

  • @pausesiponder
    @pausesiponder 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Do you have videos that help Newley Christian engaged couples? And setting boundaries during the planning and before the wedding?

  • @lorimehok1645
    @lorimehok1645 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I think that I may have multiple toxic people in my life . Please provide information on how to put on some PPE when dealing with the toxic person . Is it as simple as putting on the armor of God daily?? I am referring to relationships that should not be stopped altogether. Example: toxic child that has my grandchild. Thanks so much!!

  • @JAYWRITE-h3e
    @JAYWRITE-h3e 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

  • @Plans4YouJer2911
    @Plans4YouJer2911 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Male here
    My X wife has all of these
    We are divorced
    Never wanted this divorce
    Hope she finds whatever she is looking for or whomever she is looking for

  • @pinaytunay
    @pinaytunay 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i wish i knew all these. huhuhuhu!

  • @ineveryseason
    @ineveryseason 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    💯

  • @carmenmangion4652
    @carmenmangion4652 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Evil for me everthing he have axakly god is with me

  • @markmervinpalmer1801
    @markmervinpalmer1801 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    ✝️🤲🙏❤️👌👍🇵🇰

  • @LydiaSings
    @LydiaSings 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    These toxic traits describe Trump to a T. 😲🙁

    • @Traveling193
      @Traveling193 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You sound salty??? He’s coming back in NOVEMBER!!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @RuthA-td2qp
    @RuthA-td2qp หลายเดือนก่อน

    Bear one another’s burden but remember the following verses as well:
    Micah 7:5-6
    5 Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.
    Jeremiah 9:4-5
    4 Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders.
    5 And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity.