Answering My Daughters Toughest Questions.. | Carl & Laura Lentz Get Real
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- In this raw and revealing episode, Carl and Laura Lentz, joined by their daughters Charlie and Ava, have a heartfelt conversation about healing and family resilience.
Carl opens up about his journey to true healing, and the Lentz family discusses the struggles and pain they faced behind the scenes during their scandal.
In an honest and surprising moment, Charlie and Ava ask their parents about their sex life after healing, leading to an insightful and open dialogue. This episode dives deep into the complexities of family, love, and recovery, offering a unique perspective on overcoming adversity.
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0:00 - Introduction and Context
1:51 - The Lentz's Journey as a Family: The Girls' Perspective
4:14 - Getting to a Place of Forgiveness
8:22 - The Biggest Party in Florida
10:40 - Communicating After the Trauma, How Charlie Found Out
16:40 - Download the BSIDE App
17:26 - Say Goodbye
20:13 - Laura and Carl: Figuring out the Best Way for the Kids
23:37 - The Importance of Being Honest
26:20 - How Ava Found Out
30:13 - What Ava And Charlie Found Out About Laura
31:54 - Starting Over: When to Trust Again
34:04 - Intimacy and Trauma
38:42 - What Ava And Charlie Found Out About Laura
41:53 - Powerful Honesty, and Fighting Frustration
45:05 - What Ava Thinks of Marriage Now
47:02 - We Know too Much
49:36 - What Charlie Thinks of Marriage Now
51:40 - Vulnerability, Accountability and Honesty
get a job, you are a false teacher
🏳️🌈✝️🙏🏻
This man is absolutely beyond blessed to have these unbelievably strong women stick by him and have grace and forgiveness for him.
Yes, amen! Jesus be praised: what amazing grace, how sweet the sound...that saves the wretches like me!
I agree!
As a pastors daughter during the 80’s and 90’s in a time where everything had to be secret - I’m over the moon moved by your honesty and love for one another . I’m also so thankful that we are in a different place in time where you can all be healed and shine the light for others in crisis. Thanks for your transparency.. And way to love and value your daughters !!
Ikr! Honesty in the church is so refreshing!
this is disgusting to talk about with your children. shame on him
I’m the son of a pastor and also a former pastor. You have no idea how these conversations as a family are so revealing and healing at the same time for me and for this generation. I bet on you guys when everything happened years ago, and I’m so happy with the outcome of this amazing story written in heaven. You guys represented me.
This type of transparency will have an immeasurable ripple effect. It is great to hear Christians own up to their mistakes and help people understand why events have occurred instead of brushing it under the rug!
True!
Blown away by Carl’s humility in how he engages with his family. So grateful that God sustained him & his family.
This entire series is the Gospel. Forgiveness reconciliation rebuilding am so undone by each conversation. The raw emotions tears. Genuinely thank you for your honesty bravery saying that isn't word enough to justify but pray healing for you guys and the ripple effects are eternal to your open conversations with thousands out there dealing with infidelity unforgivness. Simply humbling to behold. 🙏🙌😭
"Until the end of time I am a waiter at your table." Carl Lentz's comment feels so heartfelt ❤
Should be every man’s attitude:) 💪🏼💪🏼
💯 agree.
Laura, as a mom, I know you must be so incredibly proud of your girls!! They learned how to be so strong and loving because of your example!!! Carl, please know that inspite of what others may say or think, God is really using you mightily!!!
This is a much needed discussion. Many people think the affair only affects the relationship of a husband and wife. Kids are affected for decades by a parent's affair. If the couple ends up divorcing, that is traumatic for many children. It affects how they see marriage as adults.
this is no discussion for children.
You will find in this video some gems of pure theology put in practice. As a reformed christian I got the same value in this conversation as listening a Ligonier conference. Hope Carl and his family keep on growing in the faith as they have showed.
I’m so grateful for your conversations. As a survivor of marital infidelity, hearing Carl’s willingness to answer questions and validate that his daughter’s need for answers were a cry from their souls was very cathartic for me. This podcast is a blessing and has added to my therapeutic healing journey. Thank you Lentz family and I will continue to pray for your healing journey.
"I can feel mad and feel angry and it's still forgiveness" #powerful.
Thank you Lentz fam, you are changing the narrative to family trauma, family therapy and better yet, family healing!!!
I have walked away from”church” and your situation coincided completely with my immense “church hurt”, which happened at the hands of our pastors who just happen to be our children. At that time…I was one of the people using Carl’s infidelity as a way of pointing to how disingenuous our church leaders had become. I began watching your podcast out of curiosity (so i thought)…but now I see how The Lord is using it to heal parts of me that have been broken for years. I see that reconciliation, restoration and true redemption is available to each of us.
I apologize for the judgement that I placed on your family.
No one is too far gone for God’s hand to reach.
Your honesty, vulnerability,accountability and commitment to living a different life is such evidence of God at work. I am amazed at your countenance, Carl…it shines for Jesus, so much more than it did when you stood on a platform.
To God be the Glory.
I will commit to keeping your family. In prayer.
Shelly. Idk you. Idk the Lentzes. But I read this comment…..and I am just weeping so heavily while I type this. The tears are just flowing and I can’t stop them.
To God be the Glory for reconciliation thru REAL HONESTY. And I am just so grateful that even an ounce of your faith has been restored in the kingdom.
Amen!! Thank you for sharing. To God be the Glory!
This is flippin unbelievable. Such maturity and honesty
My father cheated on my mother multiple times. Seeing my mother cry when I was a teenager was probably the most painful experience in my life and it still hurts to think about it. She’s doing great now, they got divorced soon after. He didn’t change. But she got stronger and more independent and understands how to appreciate the small things in life. Cheating does have a huge impact on your children.
🫂
Proud of your mom!❤ sending you hugs.🫂
I followed the Carl Lentz story with all the inglorious details posted all over social media. Now to witness the beautiful restoration that is happening in your family is so so inspiring. I have the utmost respect for all of u....and look forward to seeing all the good that God has in store for each of u. Respect ....Shanti frm Singapore❤
This girl from Zambia 🇿🇲 appreciates the conversations you are having with your children and allowing us into your healing journey and family.
Im from Zambia too😊😊
Me as well
I come from a Christian family with loads of issues, stuffs that still has a massive effect on me and my sister and my parents are separated now… I wish we had a conversation like this…. I always saw you guys differently but after this I admire the effort… you guys are lucky. I wish more families had the strength to do this. God bless u all
This is without a doubt the most incredible thing in the universe. This is the gospel, this is LOVE. I can’t put into words how incredible it is Lentz family. Thank you a million times for sharing this with everyone. I binge watched every episode, non stop cried and talked about it with everyone I could. I admire you as a family as parents and am so inspired. I just canNOT… 😮💨
I thought I would despise hearing this because I have been hurt by mega church pastors as a single mom and with a son and daughter.
But I can actually see the heart of Laura and hear the love in her eyes and that is huge and I think Charlie and Ava are exceptional girls. I pray this helps them and Roman have great relationships when they are married and have children. I pray that you continue healing and that your empty nest years are craZy fun. This is true transformation, trust and faith- Forgiveness!! Thank you all
I wish I had words to express how thankful I am for these podcasts. I just believe that they are so raw and real, that it gives hope for the churched and unchurched alike. It's not religious or tempered or predictable. We don't deserve to know all this, but thank you for turning the lights on and challenging us all even if we have to get vulnerable and get messy to get honest. Just thank you so very much.
And, your family is such an encouragement in your realness and integrity. I applaud the way God is leading you all, and your "Yes".
Thank you so much for the blessing of sharing a conversation like this. I am walking away from this feeling like a better human and having a better understanding of why I'm trying to do the things I am in my own household. There are benefits on the other side of the hardships that I am looking forward to, and as a parent, it's so comforting to hear how much you kids have benefitted from and appreciated the honesty. Wow!
My entire life and personality was shaped by the secrecy from a traumatic event in my family when I was an infant. It is just beautiful to see how open this family is and the healing that has come from that. What I wouldn't have given for a parent to even acknowledge there was a problem. Sadly even today, some topics are just off the table as my parents are too elderly to relive the ordeal. You guys are blessed and I have been blessed listening and watching you make something beautiful out of something so ugly.
This was yet again, an amazing and uplifting conversation to listen to. The wisdom there girls have is actually unbelievable. I think my main takeaway is how powerful authenticity and transparency is in the midst of the ugliest moment a family can face. For Carl to accept that he failed God and his family and repent of his Sin, then endure all the ugly and uncomfortable repercussions of his errors out of love for his family and his family to endure all of this and find it in them to forgive him….This is definitely the Grace of God for this family to remain united like this. The “Tell the truth and shame the devil” line comes to mind. he cannot shame this family into division. Thank you guys for sharing your pain and love. 🫡
Pastor Carl n Laura. N girls - this is so refreshing. This is beautiful. So many family’s or PK families hide in secret. This shows true grace and favor from the Lord. This is needed to heal and when you fall so hard, you can only get up stronger 😊. God is faithful! This is what beauty from the ashes truly means!
🙌🏽God the way your girls talk about you Laura is phenomenal, these open conversations set the bar for how a healthy healing family can communicate. Love itttttt ❤❤❤
As a sinner myself, this has been a humbling series to watch. While my wife and I haven’t gone through infidelity, it’s easy to imagine the situation and damage it could cause. It’s not something any of us are immune to. I pray that Carl and family will be more bold in their faith in these podcasts. I strongly believe if Carl is bold and preaches the gospel and Jesus boldly in this series and future podcasts, that he will potentially reach more people for Christ than he ever did in the mega church. Your story and what Christ has done for your family is amazing. These podcasts would be excellent opportunities to share the simple truth of the Gospel. Don’t forget to give all the glory to God. Glad to see your family doing well and fighting for its unity. God bless
This is genuinely my favorite podcast ever of all time. I feel encouraged and faith filled after every episode! Thank you for how frequently you post them! Can you guys talk about your take on emotional abuse or even just those toxic cycles that can happen in marriage where it’s good until he is triggered, then it’s bad, back and forth. I love what Ava was starting to get into at the end about hashing stuff out, that’s what prompted the question. As well as like what to do when he isn’t taking accountability or responsibility… again, more talking about toxic cycles and emotional abuse, not physical or adulterous.
Thank you for doing this. Appreciate every bit. Don’t allow any negativity to derail you. This is big. God bless and strengthen you. From South Africa 🇿🇦
This episode had me in tears. The healing and restoration is so palpable. Praise Jesus.
I am so encouraged
The devil wants you to be quiet but dear brother you don’t know how much this part of your story has brought to the knowledge that God’s Grace and Mercy is immensely immeasurable
I followed the comments and I heard others saying keep it low
This is for God’s Glory
Certainly the Glory doesn’t belong to any of you
Out of the muddy clay he takes us out
Covers us
He gives us beauty for ashes
We do not deserve his love,mercy,grace and kindness yet he God through Jesus Christ we belong to him
Glory to God!
I love everything you’re doing with this.. not keeping the negative affects of your sin on your family in the darkness.. takes a courageous man to expose how serious all of this is, and ALSO show the silver lining. These things don’t HAVE to be kept in the darkness forever. There is true healing and true forgiveness.
42:20 Even if you come to these sessions with no real positive expectations, I can't imagine that your perspective will remain critical or indifferent after listening to this. Here Ava says it all. The world in general wants to see a family like this pulled apart by a parent's betrayal, as is the typical outcome. When you see the choices made by every family member to remain committed and stand by one another with a commitment to heal and forgive, this is a clear sign of God's miraculous intervention in the hearts of each one and the family unit as a whole. It is rare and incredibly beautiful and should be celebrated as what is possible when hearts are committed to Jesus to allow God's grace and healing. Everyone needs these messages. Thanks Laura, and especially to Ava and Charlie for participating- as well as Roman previously. You bring hope to so many young kids who go through this, that there is absolute restoration after the storms of life.
Watching this video, I can only see God's grace and mercy in this family! Laura, you really are the Proverb 31 woman! You have all my admiration! What the devil tried to destroy, God used it for his glory! May God bless your family!❤
Carl I am so proud of the way you are working through this and even more proud of your family as a whole. Don’t know you in real life but as your brother in the Lord, I have been keeping you all in my prayers. The testimony of your full lives like this will bring God far more glory than if you were to live “perfectly”. I believe He is proud of you all, keep running forward towards your crown of Glory. Love you guys.
This is so healing. Thank you for your transparency. We need more pastors to tell the truth like this.
As much as this content is going to be helpful for other people, this must be very hard on this family to relive the traumatic events of their lives . Healing is messy! I have high respect for you all. To Carl Lentz yes your family went through a lot because of the choices you made BUT you were brave enough to stay and take full accountability and have difficult and embarrassing conversations with all your family members .
You were brave enough to stay and heal together with everyone and brave enough to open a door for correction, accountability and open conversations. I am not making excuses for the mistakes you made, it still hurts it still affected masses BUT Not many of us are able to do what you did and you are still willing to sit down and talk things out. This must be triggering for everyone but at the same time the beauty of triggers for a person on a healing journey is that they expose sensitive areas which still need work . I wish stone throwers would assess their lives first because no one is perfect. In this life there will be fatalities we will hurt others and others will hurt us but will you be that person that chooses to make the independent decision to love when it is hard and forgive and stay and work things out? Will you be that person that says I have hurt innocent people and I am willing to stay and do whatever it takes and create a space for healing for all? Laura I commend you for shouldering the responsibility to stay and personally heal and love again and trust again when it was hard. Either choice was hard anyways leaving was going to be hard and staying was going to be hard and I respect you for staying and allowing yourself , your husband and children to heal together.
I ❤ this! What a rare vulnerable look into a family’s way of coping with their crisis and how you can come out stronger and healthier ❤❤❤
Wow ! Carl thanks for being real and humble and owning your mistakes and loving your family so well , 👏🇨🇦
1. I love the podcast, so beautiful and needed !
2. Laura a beast!!
3. Kids are so grown up in character
4. Carl be crying too much 😂
Let the man cry 😭
@@jessasmrcd alright alright 🤣
This version of him is the one that God's wants the world to see. I think we can all learn something from this!
I’m crying too, bruh. So lump me on in with him 🥹
Wow, guys you are surreal team! I am in awe of how you handle the situation, unified together. Such an inspiration, I can tell there is.bunch of therapy with super pro's. Wowowowow... sending you all the love ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
It’s obvious to anyone who has watched or listened to you that you are here for big and great things. I’ve been waiting to see what gold you created from that very hard time which in hindsight seems like just another one of gods interventions to redirect you to where the growth is really needed. Well done to you all. What amazing examples. The world needs more of this grace.
God bless this family. I pray for their continued healing and favor as their lives are a testimony of Gods grace.
I wish my dad had access to this type of content when he first cheated and probably him and I could have a better relationship. I have forgiven him and our relationship is better but that stain will always be there. Not a lot is talked about the effect of this act on children, especially, girls. I had to learn a lot on my own because for a long time I tried to find my dad in the men I dated and that ,unfortunately, led me to date toxic men. Thankfully I am happily married to an incredible man and I am not hoping or trying to find my dad in him. Healing takes time and having this content available helps on that journey.
You all are phenomenal. Your daughters are exquisite-articulate and extraordinary. Your journey is deeply impactful to me and many others. You are trailblazers. Trailblazers have the hardest job, because there is no pathway yet. People are sure they won’t make it. They hack away at weeds and thorny bushes. They lose their way and daily, fight the urge to pack it in and quit-disband and go back. But the result of that excruciating work is you are closer-and you made a path that others can now follow. Even though your son was not in this particular video, I include him in this. He, too, is mighty and courageous. Blessings to you all forever. Sending love.❤
I just started this episode and I’m already bawling. Thanks for getting so real. Real life stuff 😢Real life talks with your kids wow.
Not going to lie I have judged dude and hate what happened for his wife but when you make choices that ruin your career, family you know it and can't come back from it so most people would hide in their shame and pray to fall out of the lights. my judgement has turned into respect we are all growing Christians progressing in our faith walks and God forgives us in abundance. it takes a brave family to help others process this in their own lives.
complete respect now
Pastor Lentz and his Family are going real, to see this side is something. I appreciate your vulnerability
God is doing a new thing with you Carl.
You are blessed to have all these amazing women's forgiveness.
It’s beautiful to see families talk about their issues openly, that is so healing ❤️🩹
My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.
Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:8
We are witnessing the reality of 2 Corinthians 12:8 and Carl’s greatest sermon (with your family).
This is the Scandal of Grace. Bless you
Welp! Being on the outside of churches having many churchy friends and family members this is awesome! Never ever are conversations this transparent. Not even close. Great jobs ladies and Carl. May God continue with you in your journeys.
Whoaa!! The transparency…! I just watched the int(trailer) and I applaud this family…the healing from this will be immeasurable 🩶 Blessings
Welp. You did it Carl. You made me cry with you. 🤦🏽♂️ I was in shambles on this one. This is really pushing me to be better and follow up with my wife on some of our past trauma. Whew Lord, this broken vessel. 🥺🙌🏽 Bravo Lentz family.
I’ve watch all your podcast I’m a pastors kid my dad past and my mom but my dad went thru the same thing but in my time it was taboo to talk about it’s so beautiful to watch your stories and help others my dad never confessed or took accountability because he had no one I’m happy you guys are doing this tho my issues were years ago these videos have helped my trauma ❤️
Every husband and father of children, needs to listen to these weekly podcasts.
These are some awesome children! Very strong and mighty
Added to my other comment, your beautiful dogs reclining on/next to their beloved family are a true sign that there is peace in your home.
I'm happy to see God's restoration at work in your family! What a good family you guys made!
This is so real!!!! And to be able to have this conversation with your kids is next level. I am signing up for therapy immediately because I realize I still need to deal with my trauma.
Your kids are so incredibly articulate and mature with how they speak and process things! So amazing how they are walking through that and learning that at such a young age! I’m just scratching the surface at 28 and still have some ways to go!! Teach them young and help direct them towards healing vs reacting and being apart of and a victim of unhealed trauma for the rest of their lives! But actually walking and thoroughly talking through it! Thank you Jesus for redemption!!♥️
I tell you…the honesty and pure wisdom from this has impacted me so much! No relationship to apply these points to but just LIFE! So grateful for how God has brought “light” to your precious family and how you are so selflessly sharing it to bring “light” to all of us (aka me) in our lives! I just wish I could hug all of you (and the dogs) ☺️ after watching this! God bless you more and more Lentz family🤍
Your story is a beautiful story of redemption. I aspire to have such an open and beautiful relationship with my husband and children. I am learning so much through your conversations with each other. All glory to God for this beauty from ashes.
Am just blessed by this family ,your transparency and honesty is a blessing, continue to share and just keeping God first it's key.
It's because of the mercy of God that we are all here
Good job, Laura and Carl for doing the hard work to be honest and allowing your children to process in their own way. You are brave and have followed the wisdom given to you even when it hurt. And isn’t that where freedom comes?
Appreciate the honesty and vulnerability. Much love to you all.
This felt honest, much appreciated
Praise God, what an amazing podcast. This is what the God of the impossible can do!!💕
Hello, Carl and Laura. Thanks for sharing all these free insights to such a devastating situation. I have been watching since episode One. My husband and I were members of NYC Hillsong. You actual knew my husband briefly when he was helping in the green room. Anyways I would love to hear how both of your parents have responded to your journey and where they are at in the process. Do they support this new chapter? I'm also very interested to know how your experience has been becoming members of a church and being on the other side. Such a great story of recovery. Thank you for your transparency that we were not owed. I pray many more years of marriage and growth to your family and the next generations 🙏🏻
This is absolute beautiful podcast - thank you for being real and sharing. Especially with the whole family. All blessings to everyone and to you as a family. Keep each other close and protect each other🙏
God restores….PERIOD😢
Beautiful conversations...you guys have to be incredibly proud of these young women. Power of doing the WORK!
Salute Carl & Laura!
So appreciate your honesty! It is so good for people to hear and so glad that you are completely honest with your daughters.❤️
Man I wish all families going through these types of things could afford therapy. Hearing about each individual family member’s therapy journey… so helpful, but so expensive for the average family.
Hearing Hector's laugh just made this episode better 😂
I wish my dad was sorry for the pain he caused my mom. She’s still struggling w/ trust till this day & i never understood why she was so hyper vigilant growing up. My dad seems to be blind that how she is now is bc of him. Unfortunately older Caribbean ppl aren’t aware or believe in therapy & I went thru a pain & now see the shaking I wish I could heal her man
We need more of this in the church! Real conversations about real life!
You young girls are amazing. You keep your heads up.❤
Y'all have my heart. Again, and a million times over...every word ABSOLUTELY TRUE. God bless every one of you! Don't stop. So needed. So right. This is what Right looks like with Christ doing His transformative work. Pray for my family... still waiting for it to happen for us. The truth about everything is the only way... because He IS the Truth and the Way.
It was a great convo… but I don’t know if I ever would let my kids or ANYONE call my wife a “Bad B***h”
It takes a strong man to open up like you have
I’ve been down this road and I admire this love to talk to you in privet if you read this Carl
Thank you for keeping it real 💕🙏
This gift of redefining family is beautiful to witness ... yes difficult some days, humbling and tiring yet must be SO rewarding and fulfilling.
This precious story of tough, raw grace is not everyone's opportunity. Many are robbed of the chance to do the hard work together, to live in this depth of grace, love, commitment and unity. So, thank you to you both for showing up and putting on display what this gift of GRACE looks like.
"the dogs are high" hahaha....i love that after all of this, they can all sit down and talk about the hard, dark stuff. Amazing.
Indeed let there be light ❤
Thank you for such beautiful authenticity. It's an unbelievable gift ❤
3:51 she looks so much like her mom 🥹
Great conversation. Thank you all for sharing your journey.
Many parents withhold details from their kids bc they don’t have access to therapy. Yes, we can “take it to the feet of Jesus” but over years of becoming more bitter, I’m wondering what that even means, to be honest. And I know my kids see it. And it’s painful. And 10 years after the fact (which was a ONE TIME betrayal followed by swift repentance from my husband, not an ongoing affair) I am still hurt. “Choosing to forgive” with my words while still letting the hurt fester inside bc I don’t know how to process it. I notice that my entire personality has changed and I’ve turned so negative and sarcastic and don’t make eye contact or talk to people like I used to. I feel like I’ve withdrawn inside myself and I’m DYING to find time and money for therapy.
God bless you Katherine. I will keep you in my prayers. God will open up the doors in His ways and times. Dont forget to bring your request to Him (therapy). Many churches or church organizations will offer free group therapy for various things. If it is the Lords will for you to talk to someone, He will open those doors. Prepare you heart!!! and God bless your honesty.
Intimate sexual discussions about what happened belong only to Carl and Laura, not the kids!!
You can give honest answers without being explicit!
To those of whom that say this is disgusting. The only thing that is disgusting here is your judgment. Remind your own business if you don’t like it or don’t watch it but if you’re just here to spread hate and disgust- then shame on you. His daughter asked him a question and he answered.
Based on the rest of your comment, I think it's safe to say you meant to write "but if you're just HEAR to spread..."
Such a crucial and helpful conversation! Wow. 🙏🏼❤️
The kids are incredible I can’t lie
Hi, can you talk about the process after being fired as pastor in Hillsong and how rebuilt financially
This conversation is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing this to us
your family is such a blessing
When we Walk in the Light, we have FELLOWSHIP WITH ONE ANOTHER, and the Blood of Christ CLEANSES us from from ALL sin.
(This is what the Lentz family is living out right now. May they be an example for the whole Church throughout the nations that we as the Bride are called to such purity - God's judgements for the Church are GOOD and LOVING and JUST, with the purpose of bringing us into RIGHTEOUSNESS and FELLOWSHIP with Him.)
When we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to FORGIVE us and CLEANSE us from ALL unrighteousness.
Father I thank You for Your grace and mercy over the Lentz family and for redirecting them into Your righteousness through forgiveness and repentance. I bless them to be able to continue on this beautiful and narrow path with strength, joy, and peace in Jesus' mighty name, Amen.
wow . What a story . You should be proud
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.