How did this speak to you? We want to know. Let us know! Carl & Laura Lentz have a vulnerable conversation with the therapist who walked with Carl over the last 4 years since his infidelity & life transition from Hillsong Church. Prepare your hearts & minds- this one is going to help a lot of people! Let us know how this speaks to you! Start your 7 day trial on the B-Side App today! www.bsideapp.com/pricing Want to give financially to the B-Side? www.paypal.com/paypalme/bsideapp Join our Discord: discord.gg/twESwgg9 Download B-Side today on Apple: apps.apple.com/us/app/b-side-app/id6469474522 Download B-Side today on Android: play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bsideapp&hl=en_US&pli=1 Want to give financially to the B-Side? www.paypal.com/paypalme/bsideapp
@@wevers1978 what’s a Christian therapist? Just asking because the Bible never makes reference to one but being in the word and prayer sets us free. Not digging up your past to find someone to blame for your sin. That’s what Adam did, blamed that woman
Instead of going into the gray, retiring in disgrace, abandoning his family and never being seen again, Carl has started a conversation that has been desperately needed in the church for years. And for that I respect him.
So admire him for admitting what he got caught doing. And now he wants to blame it on some kind of addiction. Instead of the sins of the flesh. It’s good that he’s knitting some thing that he got caught doing, but there’s a lot of other things he was doing that he never owns up to. It’s about being a minister of the gospel. He just wants to feel better about himself by all you people just clambering around him and applauding him because he’s got the mic again, he loves him a mic so he can just be heard. He needs to sit and listen.
@@srecreates I’m so sick of it. Whenever somebody alludes to, it’s a wife’s responsibility to make her man happy I want to pull my hair out. We’re Christians and our joy comes from the Lord. The Bible said husbands Love your wives and wives Respect your husbands. You work out your sex preferences together in the bedroom. God made it pretty simple what we do you don’t have to make up weird stuff because that’s not God. If Man doesn’t have all this experience outside of his marriage, how does he know what his preferences is. He was sexually active before he got married so he was already sitting and doing weird stuff.
I am pregnant rn with a little boy and I really hope I remember to watch this when I am older to parent better. Thank you so much for this! A lot of us cannot afford therapy and hopefully one day my husband and I can for our little family. But anyways, thank you thank you for your vulnerability. God bless your family and Alex❤️
@@marlu6373 Wanting to do therapy doesnt mean I or anyone else has less faith in the word of God and the kingdom of heaven. Sometimes people just need to talk through some things with a professional that knows more than them (I would do Christian mediated therapy of course).
This episode was life changing! As my family and I are walking out this same process!! Thank you both for being so open to this call on your life. God gets all the glory! To your therapist amazing perspectives on the work. ❤❤❤
Where is God and Jesus in these episodes? It seems like Carl and Laura are giving themselves the glory for the comeback and a secular therapist. Where is Scripture and the Church?
WOW!!!! I knew GOD was going to glorify through your life, through your marriage and through your family! This is PURE Christianity. Being human, being humble, living only by the power and grace of God through the Holy Spirit. No one can judge you if they can only see themselves, we are all sinners, we are all broken and slaves. That is the amazing love of God, he came for us, he rescued us. We are to live in humility like you guys are living! This is the way! God wanted you to speak and be what he chose you to be, a light of hope, a light of love, a light of believing. God loves you and will guide you all the way! He rescued you and didn’t let you die because the enemy is defeated and through the power of your testimony que will be defeated through you (as an instrument of God) in the lives of so much more people that are slaves and broken. God bless you!
Just started watching the content you are putting out now and I have a few thoughts. On the one hand, I think there were so many other people that had to stay behind and pick up the pieces after everything that happened, and I hope that what comes after this eventually gets to them. With that being said, this is TERRIFIC content and the fact that you guys can even do this is such a huge thing, praise God for that. I know that millions of other believers who have also been abused have not had the same chance to unpack the effects in their lives and I hope that this is sign into the right direction.
Carl you were at LIR (Love is Red) in like 2011-2012 and I was kind of security by the stage you smiled at me and shook my hand and said “God was proud of me” I’ll never forget that….im so proud of you my dude and been praying for y’all throughout this whole thing
@@ashleezhang3851 Seriously. Carl shook somebody's hand at one of his Church-Lalapaloozas and told them "God was proud" of him. How would Carl know that God was proud of the stagehand? Where in the Bible is it ever recorded that God was "proud" of a person? Did he ever say to Paul, "Paul, I'm so proud of you." Or to Abraham, "Dude, you are one righteous fellow, I'm proud of you." This is the kind of Laodicean church babble that makes me nauseous.
The value these people are offering up to people (particularly the evangelical charismatic demographic) through these conversations is unprecedented. Beautiful.
The poor naïve souls that listen to this jargon and think it has anything to do with God and His Word or way of life. It’s nothing more than an avenue for Lentz to stroke his narcissism. I feel so sorry for his family because they are falling for it. Narcissistic behavior got him in this and is perpetuating it. He has to have the center of attention. My husband listened to 2 minutes and walked out of the room. He said if he ever hears his voice he’ll leave the room.
He is creatively Manipulative. Not bringing in any biblical principles. I was apart of a ministry that a leader had similar issues and similar tactics to just right back into ministry. Not falling for it! Only the emotional will fall for this!
My husband and I had the BEST conversation last night after watching this. We went through a similar situation a couple years ago and there is still healing happening. Thank you thank you thank you for doing this. God bless you!
This video hit me in so many ways. I was emotionally abused as a child and grew up thinking I wasn’t worthy of anything. I became an alcoholic/addict, which included sex addiction. I lived Carl’s story. Everything he mentions in the video, I experienced and is spot on. Lived a majority of my life in a cycle of shame and deceit. Shame blocks any intimacy. I destroyed relationships, a marriage, a family. This is the first time I have put the abuse I suffered as a child to my sex addiction. I always thought I was just a sick pervert growing up. This video is so powerful To be frank, I was not a Carl Lentz fan, but I am now. (Bigger Laura Lentz fan!) I love his therapist ! There is hope and recovery.
Very good episode but every time he cuts off/interrupted his wife as she is speaking is very uncomfortable. She was making statements and I really wanted her to finish her thought.
He is constantly talking, he knows it all. It’s honestly sad it’s like he definitely has not been humbled the show is way too soon. It’s like he just EATS IT UP all the attention. WOW wow he still makes me sick to my stomach even years ago I watched him and it’s still the same. Grieves my my heart tried to give him a few shots since recovery but he should likely NEVER be in leadership or have a show because addiction to hearing himself talk falls under ego attention seeking and self gratification. He’s still constantly talking to like explain or accuse his behavior. Lord I really do pray for this man of God but I can’t stand to listen to him please help him but it’s a no- go for me No More I’ve listen to a few podcast where he was on other shows to and yea it’s nice to be honest but it’s the intention of the heart and his motive still don’t feel pure and why have a show and specialist come on because he knows it all😂 his wife bless her heart but he still does not seem very humble or remorseful tell the doctor he’s gonna cry, but he’s holding it back. I’d like to see you cry so show some emotion for another human being.
They unfortunately seem to focus solely on secular methods and therapists je never mentions the power of the gospel, or gives praise to God, instead tells his children he is proud of them that they have a relationship with Jesus. Their faith surely seems very superficial at best.
Loved this episode, gleamed so many gems on how to help people going through addictions or dealing with betrayal in a relationship. Those talking about them telling their kids to be pure etc bible gospel etc! They said how the church views sex and sexuality can be triggering and the church doesn't discuss sex. The church only says stay pure and don't think about sex which isn't realistic! We are sexual beings denying that is harmful!!!
Im all for getting professional help when needed and it's great that you are doing the work. But I have noticed that you never mention Christ which is so sad. HE is the power that transforms us, the gospel can change us in ways no therapy ever could. Again, not arguing against therapy but it seems that you solely rely on secular methods instead of diving into scripture and letting Christ transform you. This could have been such a great testimony if you made it about Gods grace instead about you. You tell your kids that you are proud of them they still believe in Jesus instead of giving the praise to God, refer to your sins as brokeness and tbh it doesnt seem like your faith plays a central role in your life anymore. That's sad but maybe it never truly did.
as someone who can relate to carl's childhood traumas, i have to say -- you can't work your way to true recovery, freedom, or healing. human ability and thoughts only go so far, especially with secular psychology (it often does not align with scripture which means it does not align with reality). psychology is not deeper than God's word. i'm not knocking therapy, but it's important to be discerning who you choose to work with, and to make sure everything being taught to you as truth and science aligns with God's word. he is the last word, period! i'm sure this therapist is very intelligent and well meaning, but many of her thoughts and conclusions are not biblical. also, i wish every church addressed biblical living in every aspect but you're right, some just give do's and dont's. but not all. if you're living whole heartedly for Christ and seeking him above all else, you will have a healthy sex life, and no one will have to teach you how, because it's natural and created by God. even with the worst background, experiences or tendencies, God can and does heal, guide and redeem FULLY. and just like in my experience, it doesn't mean it will always be easy or you won't get triggered or tempted or affected in the future, but you have complete freedom and healing in Christ. he is the only real hope.
@@rebeccaculver1008 so true. Unfortunately it's been that way in every single episode. They so often talk about therapy and how proud they are of each other but never of Christ they don't give him glory at all.
I agree. Carl and Laura gets a secular therapist and not a Christian one. They do all the hollywood things like go to expensive rehabs and create this slick videos. Yet where is trust in Jesus Christ? Where is God and Scripture? Where is the church? It has been all i have done this and i have done that. Me me me.
Thing is, this is still all about Lentz. He’s still the center of attention, building a massive audience with his (new) pearls of wisdom. If he’s not a narcissist, this sure is the perfect come-back for someone who thrives on narcissistic supply… no public accountability needed, no one can argue with his life experience, growing a potentially bigger celebrity on TH-cam than he could have even in NYC). I’m all for people being redeemed and serving as inspiration for others. But let’s do it wisely. I’ve also watched people connected to The Meadows, the amazing rehab program that Lentz alludes to have attended in AZ, become legit honest, healthy people AND I’ve seen people remain manipulative con artists with recovery language. I learned a ton there.. one being the reality that addicts are fantastic liars, second that there is hope for pretty much anyone. Let’s be encouraged by Carl’s story but let’s also be wise and sober as his celebrity skyrockets due to this podcast.
So true! I think the podcast with his kids was very telling as well. He asked them how he has changed that already seemed a bit off for me and then he even asked them what they as parents did right in that situation and listened proudly to what the kids were saying. He said that would help the audience of course he didn't ask what they should have handled better. Also all this talk about brokenness, and the link to his abuse- I get that it plays into that but sin is still sin and he never talks about that.
@@hopeful3583 I don’t want kick a guy who’s trying to live well, but the amount of comments here fawning over him is concerning. Great that he’s doing well.. but he’s hardly special (in fact that’s part of the problem if we keep feeding it). Celebrate his and Laura’s wins.. but also go to an open AA meeting to hear more real stories of redemption and recovery from garden variety recovering addicts. They’re all around you. Let’s not enable Carl’s narcissistic & addictive tendencies by fawning over him because at the end of the day Carl is just a garden variety addict in recovery.. he’s no more special than Bob down the street.
I hear you. I think time will tell. The episode with his kids really made we wish that he was genuine and had changed, and would never put his family through such a thing again. As for accountability, in my opinion he’s not accountable to anyone else except for his family and those people he has entrusted to be his accountability people and God. He’s no longer a Pastor. He’s a former Pastor who is now a podcaster and whatever it is he does at Transformation Church. People should just tune in for the ‘pearls of wisdom’, take whatever they can, or not, and keep it moving.
Keep in mind, Lentz is creating a production here. He’s telling a story. What I’d love to know is who paid his $75k 45 day Meadows rehab bill (cost last time I talked with them)? If Laura was hustling doing Uber Eats, how is this guy still wearing Rolexs in these videos (at first glance I saw atleast a Datejust.. worth minimum $4k upwards of $40k if it’s a gold model and I think another).. I’m a watch guy so have no issue with dudes having nice things, but.. while your wife is Uber Eatsing to pay the bills? With the recent media campaign, who’s his publicist? You don’t get high profile podcast spots out of the blue and these are filmed so well, who’s financing the team to produce them? Again, all fine.. except this is strategic marketing for a comeback to public life. Glad he’s sober and no longer having sex with people he’s not married to, but let’s not be gullible to think this is just humbly telling his honest story. It’s an angle. And it’s prudent to not trust people who were con artists for years & years and after a 4 year hiatus come back with any angle.
Everyone is talking about how Carl was cutting Laura off. No one observed that Laura was given very little screentime througout the session. For the first few minutes of the session, we could hear her voice but she wasn't shown until she asked a question.. which is wild. Also, we didn't get to see Laura in the last few seconds when Carl gave the "vote of thanks". That was unfair and unsettling for me, considering how intelligent Laura is and how brilliantly she contributed to the podcast. And most importantly, SHE'S THE WIFE!!!! Asides that, I've enjoyed all the episodes so far including this one.. they've been honest, raw and highly enlightening. More Grace to the Lentz Family
@@francisisibor5020 Did Jesus deal with the roots when he didnt stone the lady committing adultery? Or did he just love her and didnt condemn her? I wonder how different her life was after that.. Kindness leads to repentance
@@OgivekrewJesus is literally the healer! People get delivered from smoking and drinking in a moment in God’s presence…that doesn’t mean that others wouldn’t have to go through Godly sorrow. If it helps, repentance is a change of heart and mind….so repenting would involve dealing with the root problems. Some of these root problems might be healed supernaturally, some won’t. The goal of repentance is that the change necessary actually happens and we don’t just throw a blanket over something and say “I am really sorry for what I did”.
@@OgivekrewJesus is the only one who knows what each one of us needs but repentance is the changing of our thinking about a way of life and how we do life.. from the way the age of darkness does things to the way the kingdom of God does things. That’s repentance. An everyday changing of our mind/thought patterns. Also not everyone has been deeply wounded but we all have had wounds that have been done onto us that do distort how we believe things are to be done or how people are and even projects how we view God. So yes, we all are dealt and are suppose to allow God to heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds, sometimes He does it without the help of another member on the church and almost other times with the help of a brother/sister in Christ. You can’t just grab one example such as the woman caught in adultery and run with that saying that is the only way healing comes that leads us to repentance. The woman at the well, Jesus told her truth or king David even, God used a brother to expose the sin and wound that was done against him that caused sin in him. Kindness doesn’t come in a one size fits all form. It comes in different ways and sometimes kindness is calling out someone’s sin and the root to deal with so we can repent
Sorry ma'am but you didn't detail narcissism correctly !!! There are different spectrums: overt, covert, malignant. And they gaslight, control, prideful, etc
I was thinking the same thing! Yes people throw the word around a lot, but she barely touched on what narcissism is. It’s not just malignant. So many other things and so many different kinds. The lack of empathy and the main thing gaslighting!! “Yes, you had narcissistic traits” like duh! Kind of scary that a therapist explained it like that. She barely answered the question! 🤦♀️
My second husband went to prison for life for crimes against children including mine. I can see my own trauma and compulsions and his heart and mind and compulsions…. There is still no confession even after being caught and caught deeply. I work with codependent women in recovery, and the marriages we see restored keep all the thoughts in the light and all the wounds are spoken THROUGH and created bonding, not destruction. This is a beautiful, pioneering conversation and it’s encouraging to hear it out in the open among believers. Followers of Jesus are familiar with our limited humanity and not afraid to walk hand in hand in that brokenness. Loving that this is public. Thank you.
Amen. Prayers for you and yours. For all those hurt and impacted by such pain and behavior. Im thankful you have used that experience to be a light in such a dark place especially for women these days. May God bless and keep you. Stay strong friend 🫂
This episode is so powerful, having a third person that is so knowledgable and can add so much to the conversation can help everyone to have such a broader understanding of topics like this. Thank you for having these conversations, for adding so much to the church. This is so needed.
I agree with majority of we as Christians should talk about sec after marriage more. But I would like how being pure until marriage is important too bc that’s what The Lord has directed for us. Also, don’t quite agree with everything the therapist is saying. The bit about sexual health ed in younger grade schools is something I’m very weary about with kids. I think that’s entirely on the parents to teach to their kids or if they are uncomfortable on the topic maybe we should have options of groups or people at school they can talk to but I don’t believe in a mass educating of all kids on sexual health. I think you gotta leave that to the parents. Also, Christ is rarely mentioned in this podcast. I hope we are giving Him the glory and not these therapist. I’d like to hear more about that walk with the Lord.
Unfortunately not all kids have parents who are willing to have this conversation. We know that sexual education teaches kids about their bodies and can help give kids an autonomy over their bodies. It’s also incredibly important for children to be aware of their bodies and functions to help prevent sexual abuse. Also sex Ed helps prevent pregnancy and STI’s. It should be age appropriate but it is absolutely essential for child safety.
@@ClaraBowInThisLight Are you kidding? Sex Ed in public schools is nothing but secualar sexual indoctrination and a gateway to all kinds of grooming. There is no God therefore everything is permissible. That's the motto of public-school sex ed.
@@ClaraBowInThisLight I just disagree. I want to teach and talk to my kids about that. I don’t want the schools and teachers doing that job for me. I understand not all kids have that option. Maybe an opt in/opt out situation for schools. However, just because not all kids have parents who will talk about that doesn’t mean we should trample the parents who do want to discuss that with their children on their own time in their own way as parents should.
@@rebeccaculver1008in the Jewish Hebrew way kids learned about it cause they were present at weddings where the marriage between man and woman was consummated right after the vows were said. The husband and wife would go into a tent and have sex. It was an opportunity for the parents to speak about it with their kids. It was a celebration of purity and of intimacy between the man and woman and God covering them two. I think the issue is that nowadays many parents teach their kids about sex fueled by fear or with a this is bad thing when it isn’t a bad thing. That impacts a child hugely in how you make sex a bad thing instead of saying God made it and it’s good and it’s beautiful for marriage and then fight to keep it when you marry cause even then the enemy tries to keep married couples from having it. So I’m all for parents doing it but do it when they need to know because kids know but don’t understand and also the church should also be responsible to bring sex in the goodness that God made it not teaching it or talking about it with such a perverted form and such a bad thing. It doesn’t help anyone.
I know people keep saying it’s not about you, but I just discovered my husband’s porn addiction over a month ago and I feel like my whole world has been shattered. We’ve been married for several years and he supported and loved all the same anti human trafficking groups like I did, he was repulsed by porn in shows and movies with me, so I thought we were on the same page. After we had our first baby, he encouraged me to want to dress better for each other. I didn’t let myself go, but I was unaware of the booty exercise shorts and pants, and the cleavage crop tops. He bought me a bunch of things for Christmas. I’ve always enjoyed working out. Anyways, when our first turned one, we were pregnant again with twins. So within 20 months, my body gave birth to 3 babies. I’ve always had a small frame so I bounced back pretty quickly but my belly button doesn’t look the same and I have a bit of loose skin around my tummy. I’m a SAHM and pour everything into my family and raising them well. And every time my husband came home, he was always tired, irritated, angry. I’d make sure dinner was on the table and all he had to do was spend an hour with the kids before dinner and bedtime, because they hadn’t seen him all day. And after the kids were asleep, I always felt this distance between us. I would want to have sex and he would reject me probably about 85% of the time which I thought was strange because we are in our early 30s. He tried telling me his testosterone was low, and all this stuff. So I stopped wanting to have sex with him and when we would it would be so awkward because it had been so long and my intimacy with him had been shut down for so long, it just felt wrong. I always thought there was something wrong with me for wanting to have sex with my husband. Then it turns out, he’s a porn addict and doing it at work. And he was comparing my body with these porn stars. I’ve been told by many that I am beautiful and they can’t believe how good I look for having twins and 3 kiddos under 2. I feel like my body is a warrior and it has gone through so much and it is beautiful, but my husband’s unfaithfulness has broken me. So I can’t help but to think it kind of is about me…I’m a perfectionist so to hear him so these things is absolutely devastating. Can anyone relate?
It's demonic and flesh. Get yourself centered on God. That's his problem. You are not the cause of someone's sin or demons and sounds like there's far too much fleshly issues going on in your marriage. Pray for him and get close to the Lord. Our lives are not about sex and how we look. Walk by the spirit. Yes it's good to be disciplined but not for sexual purposes. Your husband is perverting things and has spirit spouses because of porn. Pray for him and get those spirits off you too
Oh this has risen to my favorite podcast. As a therapist my initial response was omg where is the therapists anonymity. Then I paused. I dialed in. This was superb. Oh this level of honesty is needed. Love how it was said you can say you are an addict and it doesn’t Diminish how you see God. But also how you say you hurt and then immediately bring a positive. Omg that Is exhausting to do. It’s a relearning we must do as Christian’s. We can say we hurt and just leave it. So so good. Blessings to you both. People who are doing the work are who I desire to have in my life. You can be saved and do zero work. ❤❤❤❤ bravo
It's sad how the church is so secularized and just big business, and ministery isn't unto the Lord, for His kingdom and glory, and one doesn't quit "ministry" because they are living a lifestyle of sin, they are just worried about losing their "job.!" What a mess...
1:24:06 or you can choose to honor God and your spouse with the most important vow you ever make and chose to love even when you still feel bitterness and anger while hopefully learning to not be miserable. One life to live… be happy ideology will send your eternal soul to hell. Choose to suffer for a bit and obtain a better resurrection - last few verses of Hebrews 11.
I agree; God willing, your mature voice will come out, and a new phase of ministry ahead. That statement reminds me of a pastor who lived a double life spending $300k on prostitutes, and once it became public, he thought his ministry was over; however, in his words, looking back over the recovery period, he impacted hundreds of thousands of men struggling as well.His ministry had just begun! I've been married 24 years and by Gods grace have not crossed the line although its been super close!! because of my lack of maturity. I'm finally starting to mature after years of taking my wife for granted and being an idiot at times. I respect your journey guys and am a keen listener, its real yo!
This is the Link to a video made by a ministry called Iam second, testimony of Nate Larkin a pastor who's true ministry started the day he got caught spending $300k on prositutes - th-cam.com/video/0Cw7aWUQeWY/w-d-xo.htmlsi=qdFc7nqYK-FJ1WhM
I think you need to re-visit Solomon's story; the drama/trauma of infidelity/murder/rape surrounding his conception & birth were well-known, his upbringing amongst David's hareem/household which clearly included sexual dysfunction & leading to likewise in Absalom & Amnon, as well as Solomon.
@@RCGWho Well when you talking generational Sin, then everything comes into play... I have yet to see someone who hasn't had their first child out of wedlock on my mother's side(including myself), what happened in our families past definitely can decide what happens to us if we choose not to address it properly, yes David repented, but did Bathsheba? Also how was Solomon raised? (The fact he had 1000 woman at his disposal & had altars for his foreign wives is also telling)
I'm glad you made this video, I can recall when I was homeless and faced with many things in Life until $35,000 biweekly began rolling in and my Life went from A homeless nobody to a different person with good things to offer!!!!!❤️
It seems like Christine doesn't just see trading as a way to make money for herself. She's been actively teaching others her strategies and helping them achieve financial independence too.
Thank you for talking about this with a therapist who talks about the technicalities that go on inside a person that has been abused. There are people that lose their lives because of the frustration that no one understands what they’re going through. Well-meaning church people unintentionally do a disservice by putting down therapy. And instead ‘spiritualizing things,’ and brushing over real issues that people face, ignoring things, which is toxic. They do this because they have their own unresolved hurt inside of them. Hurt people hurt people. Healed people, heal people. Thank you for the deep work you are doing as a family ❤ it’s touching peoples’ lives.
I just turned 40 and in my youth, I was involved at both the city and hills campuses of HS. My time spent there shaped much of my 'Christian experience'. There are a lot of 'things' happening at HS (and associated acts) and I can say that walking away from the Institutional Church System (with their millions of little sectarian divides - fleshly, according to Paul, an apostle) has helped me walk with the Lord in sincerity. There is a huge difference in walking with God by faith (without being observed by religious people, platform or not), and being an adherent of Christian religion, with its programs and services. God does not exist within the boundaries of institutional Christian religion and since coming away from the sects, I have realized how much of what goes on within Christendom is fleshly and idolatrous. Harsh, but it is what I see. Whatever these leaders do for a salary, many humble believers do on a daily basis OUTSIDE the religious clubs which claim Jesus as their leader. If you want to serve the Lord, do so QUIETLY, offline and without your hand out begging for money. That is true servanthood.
Good Lord, they give a wink here to children exploring what feels good to them and essentially mocked chastity until marriage. Once a progressive Christian, always a progressive Christian.
Hi Carl and Laura. I am enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the honesty and openness you have brought to your stories and your journeys. As a listener, may I suggest relistening to some episodes, like this one, and notice how often you, Carl, cut Laura off while she is still communicating her point. It can be hard for people to wait when they have something they feel is insightful to add to a discussion and perhaps don't want to forget it. So, they speak over someone else before that person has the opportunity to finish their thought. I encourage you to hold yourself back when you want to jump in with a comment. It is easy to dismiss what I just said as, "Well, we know each other so well, or She isn't offender by it, or she knows I wasn't intentionally cutting her off." Wife, friend, therapist, pastor, child...it's doesn't matter. Please respect someone enough to allow a person to finish speaking before jumping in with your two cents of knowledge and observation. Perhaps you aren't aware you do it as often as you do, Carl, but you do. Strong women will not respond well to it. I find myself wanting to celebrate how far you have come and how much you have grown, but then I am immediately put off by the annoyance of your interrupting habit. Intentional or not, it is rude and dismissive. It is likely just a habit the two of you have in your relationship dynamic, but I felt compelled to mention it. Laura already doesn't speak often. She isn't as verbose and grandiose as you are, Carl. That's fine. She doesn't have to be. That really is your thing. However, when she speaks, we want to hear her finish her thought, her sentence before you speak over her mid word. You showed so much patience with your children while they worked through verbalizing their thoughts and feelings on your podcast. I urge you to find the same patience with your wife as she works through verbalizing her thoughts and emotions. She doesn't need you to swoop in and be her thought savior. Wait on her voice.
This is a profile in Courage and Grace. I’ve followed your story. It takes so much more strength to stay and work. Most people don’t choose that path. God bless you and your family. God is a Keeper. ❤️🙏🏽
So impressed with Carl and Laura❤ really proud of them both xx God can turn the most hardest thing to bear into gold. So in awe of the brutal rawness of this very hard conversation. He lost his way, and like the prodigal son, found his way back ❤
Have so far watched 10 episodes of this podcast.. and I have loved each one of them This family is the true example that GOD doesn't waste pain, they went through pain, through fire and got refined. Now they share their story and through it lives are being touched I love the fact the therapist told Mr Carl to stop apologizing for his tears.. and I think that society puts shame on men who cry and yet they are also human beings who have emotions and one way to let out those emotions is through crying, love the fact that the therapist told him to not to suppress those emotions.. I hope other men can find such safe spaces May GOD bless the Lentz family and everyone watching their podcast
Hi guys Michelle from Australia You have no idea I'm a Christian I have been shamed by church's I have a truma past I'm in my 50's and hearing your testimony gives me a wow I hear you as I hear me.i have been so shamed by pastors many years ago AOG ect..let's just say. And now the penny is dropping and it makes me cross nothing is wrong with me my past of child hood abuse ect is the Y church never helped me.i love Jesus the Trinity and I'm so grateful for my relationship with God. Thankyou thankyou bless you both I admire your msg And I also want to say I know and understand what it is like to be named shamed and friends drop you.we are the problem right oh so wrong. Bless you both.
Loved this conversation. So many good points. Thank you for putting your recovery out there for others to - hopefully - find their own recovery and be challenged to live the truly free life God wants for us and stop hiding.
Alex was saying some on point things! She said that people use addictions to calm anxiety. Thats so true! It's crazy that we as Christians are broken people, but most can't bring up their struggles because they will be judged by the church, that needs to change.
This video is wrecking and freeing all at once. It’s powerful, vulnerable and desperately needed in the body of Christ. When we believe we can “pastor” couples w this type of dysfunction and pain, we miss the depth of knowledge needed to truly help. I pray God sends more men and women of God into fields like this. Especially ones the church is terrible about communicating from the pulpit. Brave Dr. Alex, Laura and Carl.
Wait…I’m confused, are we telling our kids to “explore” their bodies? How do you do this in a healthy way in your opinion? Is there a way to do so and honor traditional understandings of scripture, to avoid lust, etc
Yes. It's not biblical. It's secular. If you get too into your children's s3xuality, you risk breaking down boundaries that should be there. Plus, while m@sturb@tion is normal, it's not a great habit and some would say is fornication.
it seems like Carl and Laura agrees with the secular therapist on giving into one's desires. Is this how they handle all their addictions as I am sure there are many other addictions in their lives beyond what they are sharing here. Sharing with children about sin, how our broken bodies react to sin, derive pleasure with sin and how we can trust Jesus Christ, how we can trust Scripture and the Holy Spirit to resist temptation. It is certainly not easy, but there is peace in Jesus Christ, more so than the the solutions the world and secular therapists provides.
Doesn't the bible say let the weak say they are strong. Let the poor say they are rich. I'm curious what his stance on deliverance is ... one of Jesus main ministries . The therapeutic process is interesting and there is a place for it in the faith ofcourse but ... is this therapist a beleiver in christ?
This has been my favorite episode thus far. This really hit home - except this man was not my husband. I was playing the “wife role” living with him and doing all the things. My relationship with the Lord grew stronger through this relationship because I prayed soooo strongly for us, for him, for God to reveal to me if that is where I was supposed to be. Just as Carl said: if they are snappy or defensive then there are things going on. I prayed so hard and the Lord revealed the answer to me plain and clear and there was no way for him to keep his infidelity hidden. I pray that he gets the help he needs to dig deep and find healing in his trauma.
“There’s no levels with sexual abuse.” It took me 20 years to admit I was SA by a parent. This work you are now doing is so important. As a child raised in an evangelical home, sex was never spoken about, it was tied to shame, and sinful. The church has done a terrible job setting people up to be sexually healthy individuals.
In my opinion, many Christian's sexual hangups are not because their parents were too embarrassed to talk about it (though that is an issue). The issue becomes the association of the guilt/shame of premarital sexual sin with the sexual act. But since God isn't Brene Brown, shame is an appropriate response to sin. God can and does heal if we repent and pray through it.
Also, the church isn't responsible to do sex ed any more than public schools are. I suppose they could train and encourage the responsible party, the parents, to do their duty. When the church has helped ala the Purity Culture thing, everyone flips out.
@@RCGWho agreed. It’s not the church’s responsibility to disseminate sex ed. however, the church has, historically, made sex a taboo topic, shrouded in shame. Sex is healthy and should not be associated with shame. If the church is going to have a lot to say about how one should not engage in sex, then it should have just as much to say about how to engage in sex.
@monibee1980 It's very hard to lump thousands of churches together and say they all shrouded sex in shame. I think Catholicism has a weird issue with denying Mary ever had sex and pretending their priests aren't gay. The first issue is that the vast majority of parents are freaked out about having "the talk." I was thinking about this recently and wondering why. I think it comes down to the level of intimacy involved. It's so private, and it should be. There's also a God-given strong wall of partition between our sexuality and our children's. It's a no man's land between our and our children's sexuality to prevent incest. It goes both ways. You try to talk about it with your children and they say eeewwww and tell you to stop. (Unless you're really on it and talk about stuff really young) So everyone is weirded out about talking about sex. It's not because we are ashamed or we think or communicate that sex is shameful. We're just awkward because of all that I mentioned so we're silent. The silence is interpreted as shame and dirty. Church. They're usually teaching the Bible. Sex is in there, but no, pastors don't put sex therapy on the Sunday school schedule. They are going to have to address it now that society has gone sexually insane.
I see so many chains falling. This is so so good!! Thank you so much for your transparency and love. Praying that covers you all bc this is kingdom work.
Sex education at 13:33. The only church that has sex education is the Unitarian Church. They have classes for youth that deal with all the topics surrounding sex. I would like to see data on what their marriage later in life are like and how satisfying the sex life is.
We are all frail. Frail humans incapable of being perfect and born into sin. We all struggle with things. Not one person in the Bible didn’t struggle with something, shame, fear, anger, jealousy, envy, sexual immorality or ect. We all have sins or bad habits that takes encampment in our minds and heart. But we have to live with it but never allow it to live our own lives for us. Easier said than done, believe me. It’s like a two part life. I used to judge people like Carl because he was very Christian like and did not feel his humanness. I think most church people are overly righteous Bible thumping people, unfortunately. It’s glad to see a man who loves God remembers that he is a creation first not a label or name but a being made with dualities under God’s hand. As I get older I realize this life is far more nuanced than we ever imagined.
I totally agree with the fact that Carl sounds so full of wisdom pouring out of his heart and the love shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Spirit. God is a restorer, and he certainly has put the work in. There is liberty and it is good to stand fast in the liberty where Christ has made us free. God bless you and your family Carl and Laura Lentz and your three beautiful children.
Hey Carl & Laura, i dont often comment on videos. I have commented on a your latest podcast to encourage yall and say thank you! Can we also remind people that all therapists and psychologists are not created equal. There are great ones, and also very poor ones. Especially if you are a christian, seek out christian psychologists who understand your faith and have insight into toxic faith culture too. If you live in Australia, i have recommendations 😊.
I see a much more authentic Carl. He still obviously has work to do and its honorable to be so humble especially in the public eye. However, this is healing. Him being vulnerable, being honest and putting himself in his wifes shoes is what will make all the difference. I think our society has given men no space to show and feel the bad things that have happened to them along the way and they stuff it down. Just like it affects women, it will slowly affect men as they get older and it will lead to destruction. Bravo for the honesty and openness. This is exactly what people need to see when it comes to working out couples issues and with a professional that is non judgemental but validating them both. His wife has a beautiful spirit and I have no doubt she would have survived with or without him. This is why the story of Genesis is one of my favorites. God made woman to be mans help-mate. We need each other in different ways and together in a healthy space is an absolutely beautiful thing.
Everyone who is talking about Laura being cut off just came on here to be triggered. They are simply having a conversation. This was Carl’s therapist once he got out of rehab, not Laura’s. Let people heal and judge ya damn self
I always thought Lentz looks and dresses like Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode...which is also ironic , considering Modes' reputation with dancing around religious taboos and the sex scandal surrounding Lentz 😳
People need to realize, that people are going to be people. Those who idolized Carl, gave into sin because of him, didn't further their own faith and relationship with God outside of him, or were misguided by a human being.... don't need to hate him. I pray for those that have had their path with God misaligned as a result of Hillsong and as a result of him as a person. Maybe he isn't the best person. There is a track record to show that you shouldn't follow him which is why I'm happy he isn't doing ministry any longer. I myself remain very skeptical of listening to this after watching the Megachurch Exposed docuseries.......... The fact is that there are some conversations that are needed to be had. The sexual discussion was tremendous to hear. Many Christians suffer from terrible sexual relationships with their spouses. I haven't heard anyone actually discuss it in depth like it is on here. Same with being molested as a child. This seems like what he was supposed to be doing all along rather than leading as a pastor. Maybe this will actually help people in a more substantial way....... We are all sinners. I hope that he has actually become a better person, husband, and father just like I would hope for myself and everyone else.
I don't think they are depending on therapists too much. Just showing how much help we need and how the Lord provides all the help we need if we are willing to admit it and He opens the doors for us to get it.
Loads of men even Christians do sadly blame their wives and confusing go to therapy and are full in iniquity. They don't care. Its sad. At least he is kind and taking accountability. That's awesome
and yet, if we walk in the spirit, we die to self, the addictions melt away. Endless hours of talking about it will never solve the problem....a sinful heart is the problem...Christ is the solution
You are talking like the man in the relationship it’s the only one who can be addicted. We are a Christian family and our daughter who has been married over 5 years seems to have this addiction. She needs help. She is talking to a therapist but can you give direction in making sure the therapist can handle compulsive sexual behavior disorder?
At 2:42. I am glad you found a good therapist. Too often Christians get referred to therapists who are ineffective at dealing with sexual dysfunction or sexual addiction. I also think many Christian women in particular are past victims of sex abuse or abusive relationships with men. Most fail to fully address these issues before marriage. This creates many problems in the relationship and bedroom.
Carl, Laura...this IS your lane. Of course, no one would choose it, but God knew He could entrust you Both with it. He knows what you are made of and what He Is making of you (Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil 1:6)...that you would let Him get the Glory that is due Him. Your "voice of wisdom" has come through much grief, as Ecclesiastes 1:18 states. My story is EXACTLY the same. My beloved, my marriage, 3 kids, ministry. All shattered. Every word you speak is 100% right. Every word. Ignore the skeptic's. Don't you quit!! I need you. If im the only one. I need you. No one understands ministry families...except other ministry families...and sometimes... not even them. The onslaught of the enemy is ruthless to take out His servants. God has given you a new "pulpit". Don't you quit!!!
Great podcast! Thank you for sharing! JPII's Theology of the Body says a lot about our body as well. I would recommend looking into that as well! Christopher West does some great work about TOB as well!
Where is the power of the blood of Jesus in all of this? When you come to Christ, His blood washes you clean of past traumas and hurts. What is going on here?
this is a case example of a life not fully surrendered to God.we in the west play games with God I want some of God but i want my worldly pleasures too.
Appreciating the vulnerability and transparency. Carl and Laura your story is a testimony of God’s goodness and Grace. Praying for you Carl and stop cutting your wife off while she’s talking.😂 But it’s all good. Happy for you guys.
The church is teaching people to seek divine understanding from "qualified" therapists, somebody who has not been soaked and marinated in the presence of God and has gotten God's leadership status. Carl probably understands the word better than this woman, how can she help him with the issue of TURNING one's life AROUND. I'm speaking from experience as I fell into a deep depression in 2019, I was 22 and thought I knew my own way up until that point. God placed me in a position in which I had to move back home with my mother. I may sound biased but a FANTASTIC servant. She coached me back on my feet and taught me the ways of the Lord all over again. The ONLY ideology that can TRULY fix brokenness, is not education, or great logic, it ITS DIVINITY. I Remember her giving me answers to questions that completely went against anything culture advised, in fact, if culture were to hear some of the things she said they would call her "toxic". The Bible says the wisdom of man is FOOLISHNESS to God. The information you take in at such a delicate time has got to come from the spirit of God (via a tried and tested servant), who has come to understand the intricate conflicts between man's logic and God's. That is why Christ came and constantly referenced "The kingdom of heaven is liketh, the kingdom of heaven is liketh." He came to introduce an ideology completely foreign to man, an ideology that can not be compromised and can only be taught or understood the DEEPER you go into the presence of God, Or the HIGHER up the mountain as we say in church. Revelation 4:1: "After this, I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, COME UP HITHER, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter."
This is the exact reason why people remain in cycles of trauma and brokenness. Being soak in the presence of God isn't a qualifier for God to use someone/something. God uses all thing for His glory. This idea that something/someone needs to be super spiritual is no different than what other faith use to convince others they are the greater faith. Science is also divine because God created it, and understanding it better can lead to further glory to God. This is also why apologist exist effective because they don't separate logic from divinity.
@@Loofabean Philippians 3: Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh- 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. 7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
@@Loofabean Philippians 3: If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless. 7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Gods not on the fence about redemption, amen to that. He is all about the redemption story look at most of the men in the Bible they all went through redemption stories and God raised them up.
This honesty is beautiful and it’s incredibly noble - God isn’t unclear about redemption and why I Iove him so much - praying you continue to put love first in your lives ❤ it’s changing the world and empowering so many without a voice
Porn addiction at 19:28. This is the scourge of modern society. There are many closeted porn addicts in evangelical churches and other faiths. I have had leadership meetings in church on this problem found among men and women. We had to refer and sometimes pay for counselling for those with porn addictions.
Closeted g@ys as well. Hetero p0rn is creating bix3xuality. Men (and women) are not just looking at a centerfold in Playboy anymore. They are literally watching men AND women have s3x. It's creating a desire for both s3xes.
![ได้เวลา! พาน้องแฝดฉีดวัคซีนครบ 1 เดือน🫣 [cc] แดนแพทตี้ SS2 | EP.52 |](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/IzeLtaXBLNE/mqdefault.jpg)
How did this speak to you? We want to know. Let us know!
Carl & Laura Lentz have a vulnerable conversation with the therapist who walked with Carl over the last 4 years since his infidelity & life transition from Hillsong Church.
Prepare your hearts & minds- this one is going to help a lot of people!
Let us know how this speaks to you!
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You guys are incredible! This is so valuable. I’m blown away at how much this speaks to me. It’s so helpful to connect trauma to our behaviors.
Doesn’t matter how vulnerable if there’s every excuse for sin. It wasn’t an affair, it was a lifestyle of sin for years.
Curious if she is a Christian therapist?
@@wevers1978 No.
@@wevers1978 what’s a Christian therapist? Just asking because the Bible never makes reference to one but being in the word and prayer sets us free. Not digging up your past to find someone to blame for your sin. That’s what Adam did, blamed that woman
Instead of going into the gray, retiring in disgrace, abandoning his family and never being seen again, Carl has started a conversation that has been desperately needed in the church for years. And for that I respect him.
So admire him for admitting what he got caught doing. And now he wants to blame it on some kind of addiction. Instead of the sins of the flesh. It’s good that he’s knitting some thing that he got caught doing, but there’s a lot of other things he was doing that he never owns up to. It’s about being a minister of the gospel. He just wants to feel better about himself by all you people just clambering around him and applauding him because he’s got the mic again, he loves him a mic so he can just be heard. He needs to sit and listen.
You turned your mess into a message.🙏🙏🙏
same! women are taught “keep your man happy” in marriage but dont train or teach how. PLUS we judge people by the type of sex they have smh
@@srecreates I’m so sick of it. Whenever somebody alludes to, it’s a wife’s responsibility to make her man happy I want to pull my hair out. We’re Christians and our joy comes from the Lord. The Bible said husbands Love your wives and wives Respect your husbands. You work out your sex preferences together in the bedroom. God made it pretty simple what we do you don’t have to make up weird stuff because that’s not God. If Man doesn’t have all this experience outside of his marriage, how does he know what his preferences is. He was sexually active before he got married so he was already sitting and doing weird stuff.
Yes. Just think about men who don't cheat. Instead they stay with the wife and have bad sex for decades.
This has helped me so much….as someone in ministry who can’t turn to anyone. This was healing for me, thank you Carl, Laura, Alex & The B-Side.
Wow!!! I'm only 20 minutes in and this is so helpful. I'm glad Karl you getting the help and able to help others. Your therapist is amazing 👏 ❤
carl
I am pregnant rn with a little boy and I really hope I remember to watch this when I am older to parent better. Thank you so much for this! A lot of us cannot afford therapy and hopefully one day my husband and I can for our little family. But anyways, thank you thank you for your vulnerability. God bless your family and Alex❤️
you don't need therapy just read the bible and let your self transformed unlike this guy that used bible for finacial gain.
@@marlu6373 Wanting to do therapy doesnt mean I or anyone else has less faith in the word of God and the kingdom of heaven. Sometimes people just need to talk through some things with a professional that knows more than them (I would do Christian mediated therapy of course).
This episode was life changing! As my family and I are walking out this same process!! Thank you both for being so open to this call on your life. God gets all the glory! To your therapist amazing perspectives on the work. ❤❤❤
Where is God and Jesus in these episodes? It seems like Carl and Laura are giving themselves the glory for the comeback and a secular therapist. Where is Scripture and the Church?
WOW!!!! I knew GOD was going to glorify through your life, through your marriage and through your family! This is PURE Christianity. Being human, being humble, living only by the power and grace of God through the Holy Spirit. No one can judge you if they can only see themselves, we are all sinners, we are all broken and slaves. That is the amazing love of God, he came for us, he rescued us. We are to live in humility like you guys are living! This is the way! God wanted you to speak and be what he chose you to be, a light of hope, a light of love, a light of believing. God loves you and will guide you all the way! He rescued you and didn’t let you die because the enemy is defeated and through the power of your testimony que will be defeated through you (as an instrument of God) in the lives of so much more people that are slaves and broken. God bless you!
Just started watching the content you are putting out now and I have a few thoughts. On the one hand, I think there were so many other people that had to stay behind and pick up the pieces after everything that happened, and I hope that what comes after this eventually gets to them. With that being said, this is TERRIFIC content and the fact that you guys can even do this is such a huge thing, praise God for that. I know that millions of other believers who have also been abused have not had the same chance to unpack the effects in their lives and I hope that this is sign into the right direction.
Incredible.
Very informative and transparent!!
right on Guys! super inspiring for alot of peeps! God bless
Can we have an episode with just Laura? That would be really helpful. ❤️
Agreed!
That would go against the goals of this worldwide privacy tour
The first two were with just Laura
@@politereminder6284how so when there are at least 2 episodes with just Laura. Someone's wrong 😂
Carl you were at LIR (Love is Red) in like 2011-2012 and I was kind of security by the stage you smiled at me and shook my hand and said “God was proud of me” I’ll never forget that….im so proud of you my dude and been praying for y’all throughout this whole thing
So glad to hear someone who had not forgotten about the good stuff he did !
@@ashleezhang3851 Seriously. Carl shook somebody's hand at one of his Church-Lalapaloozas and told them "God was proud" of him. How would Carl know that God was proud of the stagehand? Where in the Bible is it ever recorded that God was "proud" of a person? Did he ever say to Paul, "Paul, I'm so proud of you." Or to Abraham, "Dude, you are one righteous fellow, I'm proud of you." This is the kind of Laodicean church babble that makes me nauseous.
@@RecalledtoLife agreed. How can someone else speak for God and know that God is proud of that person. We don't speak for God.
Whatever is pure, lovely, think on these things…
Sounds like it was an encouraging statement and lifted him up.
@lolalopez7657 but God speaks to us and through us🤷♀️ how do people prophesy then? Aren't they speaking for God?
The value these people are offering up to people (particularly the evangelical charismatic demographic) through these conversations is unprecedented. Beautiful.
The poor naïve souls that listen to this jargon and think it has anything to do with God and His Word or way of life. It’s nothing more than an avenue for Lentz to stroke his narcissism. I feel so sorry for his family because they are falling for it. Narcissistic behavior got him in this and is perpetuating it. He has to have the center of attention. My husband listened to 2 minutes and walked out of the room. He said if he ever hears his voice he’ll leave the room.
He is creatively Manipulative. Not bringing in any biblical principles. I was apart of a ministry that a leader had similar issues and similar tactics to just right back into ministry. Not falling for it!
Only the emotional will fall for this!
My husband and I had the BEST conversation last night after watching this. We went through a similar situation a couple years ago and there is still healing happening. Thank you thank you thank you for doing this. God bless you!
This video hit me in so many ways. I was emotionally abused as a child and grew up thinking I wasn’t worthy of anything. I became an alcoholic/addict, which included sex addiction. I lived Carl’s story. Everything he mentions in the video, I experienced and is spot on. Lived a majority of my life in a cycle of shame and deceit. Shame blocks any intimacy. I destroyed relationships, a marriage, a family. This is the first time I have put the abuse I suffered as a child to my sex addiction. I always thought I was just a sick pervert growing up. This video is so powerful To be frank, I was not a Carl Lentz fan, but I am now. (Bigger Laura Lentz fan!) I love his therapist ! There is hope and recovery.
Very good episode but every time he cuts off/interrupted his wife as she is speaking is very uncomfortable. She was making statements and I really wanted her to finish her thought.
Yes!! This is great info regarding addiction/recovery but his constant cutting off/interrupting his wife makes me cringe.
He is constantly talking, he knows it all. It’s honestly sad it’s like he definitely has not been humbled the show is way too soon. It’s like he just EATS IT UP all the attention. WOW wow he still makes me sick to my stomach even years ago I watched him and it’s still the same. Grieves my my heart tried to give him a few shots since recovery but he should likely NEVER be in leadership or have a show because addiction to hearing himself talk falls under ego attention seeking and self gratification. He’s still constantly talking to like explain or accuse his behavior. Lord I really do pray for this man of God but I can’t stand to listen to him please help him but it’s a no- go for me No More I’ve listen to a few podcast where he was on other shows to and yea it’s nice to be honest but it’s the intention of the heart and his motive still don’t feel pure and why have a show and specialist come on because he knows it all😂 his wife bless her heart but he still does not seem very humble or remorseful tell the doctor he’s gonna cry, but he’s holding it back. I’d like to see you cry so show some emotion for another human being.
I’m only 20 minutes into the show and I can’t stand to watch anymore no way🫣🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
This discussion is so needed it should be a prime time special.
Yes talk to them about all that but it’s important to emphasize purity which this talk lacks and missing.
Yeah I’m confused too. They said to talk to your kids about exploring safely and criticized the church but didn’t give any solution really.
@@ufinkall secular solutions
They unfortunately seem to focus solely on secular methods and therapists je never mentions the power of the gospel, or gives praise to God, instead tells his children he is proud of them that they have a relationship with Jesus. Their faith surely seems very superficial at best.
Loved this episode, gleamed so many gems on how to help people going through addictions or dealing with betrayal in a relationship. Those talking about them telling their kids to be pure etc bible gospel etc! They said how the church views sex and sexuality can be triggering and the church doesn't discuss sex. The church only says stay pure and don't think about sex which isn't realistic! We are sexual beings denying that is harmful!!!
Im all for getting professional help when needed and it's great that you are doing the work. But I have noticed that you never mention Christ which is so sad. HE is the power that transforms us, the gospel can change us in ways no therapy ever could. Again, not arguing against therapy but it seems that you solely rely on secular methods instead of diving into scripture and letting Christ transform you. This could have been such a great testimony if you made it about Gods grace instead about you.
You tell your kids that you are proud of them they still believe in Jesus instead of giving the praise to God, refer to your sins as brokeness and tbh it doesnt seem like your faith plays a central role in your life anymore. That's sad but maybe it never truly did.
as someone who can relate to carl's childhood traumas, i have to say -- you can't work your way to true recovery, freedom, or healing. human ability and thoughts only go so far, especially with secular psychology (it often does not align with scripture which means it does not align with reality). psychology is not deeper than God's word. i'm not knocking therapy, but it's important to be discerning who you choose to work with, and to make sure everything being taught to you as truth and science aligns with God's word. he is the last word, period! i'm sure this therapist is very intelligent and well meaning, but many of her thoughts and conclusions are not biblical.
also, i wish every church addressed biblical living in every aspect but you're right, some just give do's and dont's. but not all. if you're living whole heartedly for Christ and seeking him above all else, you will have a healthy sex life, and no one will have to teach you how, because it's natural and created by God. even with the worst background, experiences or tendencies, God can and does heal, guide and redeem FULLY. and just like in my experience, it doesn't mean it will always be easy or you won't get triggered or tempted or affected in the future, but you have complete freedom and healing in Christ. he is the only real hope.
I agree. I wish this was more Christ centered. I feel like all the thanks for healing went to her instead of to Christ.
@@rebeccaculver1008 so true. Unfortunately it's been that way in every single episode. They so often talk about therapy and how proud they are of each other but never of Christ they don't give him glory at all.
Sadly, it is dressed up, but it is still deception.
I agree. Carl and Laura gets a secular therapist and not a Christian one. They do all the hollywood things like go to expensive rehabs and create this slick videos. Yet where is trust in Jesus Christ? Where is God and Scripture? Where is the church? It has been all i have done this and i have done that. Me me me.
@@danielkim672 Sadly, so much confusion nowadays.
Thing is, this is still all about Lentz. He’s still the center of attention, building a massive audience with his (new) pearls of wisdom. If he’s not a narcissist, this sure is the perfect come-back for someone who thrives on narcissistic supply… no public accountability needed, no one can argue with his life experience, growing a potentially bigger celebrity on TH-cam than he could have even in NYC).
I’m all for people being redeemed and serving as inspiration for others. But let’s do it wisely.
I’ve also watched people connected to The Meadows, the amazing rehab program that Lentz alludes to have attended in AZ, become legit honest, healthy people AND I’ve seen people remain manipulative con artists with recovery language. I learned a ton there.. one being the reality that addicts are fantastic liars, second that there is hope for pretty much anyone.
Let’s be encouraged by Carl’s story but let’s also be wise and sober as his celebrity skyrockets due to this podcast.
So true! I think the podcast with his kids was very telling as well. He asked them how he has changed that already seemed a bit off for me and then he even asked them what they as parents did right in that situation and listened proudly to what the kids were saying. He said that would help the audience of course he didn't ask what they should have handled better. Also all this talk about brokenness, and the link to his abuse- I get that it plays into that but sin is still sin and he never talks about that.
@@hopeful3583 I don’t want kick a guy who’s trying to live well, but the amount of comments here fawning over him is concerning. Great that he’s doing well.. but he’s hardly special (in fact that’s part of the problem if we keep feeding it). Celebrate his and Laura’s wins.. but also go to an open AA meeting to hear more real stories of redemption and recovery from garden variety recovering addicts. They’re all around you. Let’s not enable Carl’s narcissistic & addictive tendencies by fawning over him because at the end of the day Carl is just a garden variety addict in recovery.. he’s no more special than Bob down the street.
I hear you. I think time will tell. The episode with his kids really made we wish that he was genuine and had changed, and would never put his family through such a thing again. As for accountability, in my opinion he’s not accountable to anyone else except for his family and those people he has entrusted to be his accountability people and God. He’s no longer a Pastor. He’s a former Pastor who is now a podcaster and whatever it is he does at Transformation Church. People should just tune in for the ‘pearls of wisdom’, take whatever they can, or not, and keep it moving.
@@thabisilentleko3741 "pearls of wisdom" from secular therapy?
Keep in mind, Lentz is creating a production here. He’s telling a story.
What I’d love to know is who paid his $75k 45 day Meadows rehab bill (cost last time I talked with them)?
If Laura was hustling doing Uber Eats, how is this guy still wearing Rolexs in these videos (at first glance I saw atleast a Datejust.. worth minimum $4k upwards of $40k if it’s a gold model and I think another).. I’m a watch guy so have no issue with dudes having nice things, but.. while your wife is Uber Eatsing to pay the bills?
With the recent media campaign, who’s his publicist? You don’t get high profile podcast spots out of the blue and these are filmed so well, who’s financing the team to produce them?
Again, all fine.. except this is strategic marketing for a comeback to public life. Glad he’s sober and no longer having sex with people he’s not married to, but let’s not be gullible to think this is just humbly telling his honest story. It’s an angle. And it’s prudent to not trust people who were con artists for years & years and after a 4 year hiatus come back with any angle.
Everyone is talking about how Carl was cutting Laura off. No one observed that Laura was given very little screentime througout the session.
For the first few minutes of the session, we could hear her voice but she wasn't shown until she asked a question.. which is wild. Also, we didn't get to see Laura in the last few seconds when Carl gave the "vote of thanks".
That was unfair and unsettling for me, considering how intelligent Laura is and how brilliantly she contributed to the podcast. And most importantly, SHE'S THE WIFE!!!!
Asides that, I've enjoyed all the episodes so far including this one.. they've been honest, raw and highly enlightening.
More Grace to the Lentz Family
Once a cheater always a cheater is only if the person refuses to deal with roots who caused this in the first place
Sounds like.. there's no such thing as repentance then
@@OgivekrewDid you even read the comment?
@@francisisibor5020 Did Jesus deal with the roots when he didnt stone the lady committing adultery? Or did he just love her and didnt condemn her? I wonder how different her life was after that.. Kindness leads to repentance
@@OgivekrewJesus is literally the healer! People get delivered from smoking and drinking in a moment in God’s presence…that doesn’t mean that others wouldn’t have to go through Godly sorrow. If it helps, repentance is a change of heart and mind….so repenting would involve dealing with the root problems. Some of these root problems might be healed supernaturally, some won’t. The goal of repentance is that the change necessary actually happens and we don’t just throw a blanket over something and say “I am really sorry for what I did”.
@@OgivekrewJesus is the only one who knows what each one of us needs but repentance is the changing of our thinking about a way of life and how we do life.. from the way the age of darkness does things to the way the kingdom of God does things. That’s repentance. An everyday changing of our mind/thought patterns. Also not everyone has been deeply wounded but we all have had wounds that have been done onto us that do distort how we believe things are to be done or how people are and even projects how we view God. So yes, we all are dealt and are suppose to allow God to heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds, sometimes He does it without the help of another member on the church and almost other times with the help of a brother/sister in Christ. You can’t just grab one example such as the woman caught in adultery and run with that saying that is the only way healing comes that leads us to repentance. The woman at the well, Jesus told her truth or king David even, God used a brother to expose the sin and wound that was done against him that caused sin in him. Kindness doesn’t come in a one size fits all form. It comes in different ways and sometimes kindness is calling out someone’s sin and the root to deal with so we can repent
Sorry ma'am but you didn't detail narcissism correctly !!! There are different spectrums: overt, covert, malignant. And they gaslight, control, prideful, etc
I was thinking the same thing! Yes people throw the word around a lot, but she barely touched on what narcissism is. It’s not just malignant. So many other things and so many different kinds. The lack of empathy and the main thing gaslighting!! “Yes, you had narcissistic traits” like duh! Kind of scary that a therapist explained it like that. She barely answered the question! 🤦♀️
Do an episode with Laura only.
I absolutely LOVE the real topics you are getting at. AMAZING how God is using you. God bless you Carl and family
My second husband went to prison for life for crimes against children including mine. I can see my own trauma and compulsions and his heart and mind and compulsions…. There is still no confession even after being caught and caught deeply. I work with codependent women in recovery, and the marriages we see restored keep all the thoughts in the light and all the wounds are spoken THROUGH and created bonding, not destruction. This is a beautiful, pioneering conversation and it’s encouraging to hear it out in the open among believers. Followers of Jesus are familiar with our limited humanity and not afraid to walk hand in hand in that brokenness. Loving that this is public. Thank you.
Amen. Prayers for you and yours. For all those hurt and impacted by such pain and behavior. Im thankful you have used that experience to be a light in such a dark place especially for women these days. May God bless and keep you. Stay strong friend 🫂
This episode is so powerful, having a third person that is so knowledgable and can add so much to the conversation can help everyone to have such a broader understanding of topics like this. Thank you for having these conversations, for adding so much to the church. This is so needed.
I agree with majority of we as Christians should talk about sec after marriage more. But I would like how being pure until marriage is important too bc that’s what The Lord has directed for us. Also, don’t quite agree with everything the therapist is saying. The bit about sexual health ed in younger grade schools is something I’m very weary about with kids. I think that’s entirely on the parents to teach to their kids or if they are uncomfortable on the topic maybe we should have options of groups or people at school they can talk to but I don’t believe in a mass educating of all kids on sexual health. I think you gotta leave that to the parents.
Also, Christ is rarely mentioned in this podcast. I hope we are giving Him the glory and not these therapist. I’d like to hear more about that walk with the Lord.
Unfortunately not all kids have parents who are willing to have this conversation. We know that sexual education teaches kids about their bodies and can help give kids an autonomy over their bodies. It’s also incredibly important for children to be aware of their bodies and functions to help prevent sexual abuse. Also sex Ed helps prevent pregnancy and STI’s. It should be age appropriate but it is absolutely essential for child safety.
@@ClaraBowInThisLight Are you kidding? Sex Ed in public schools is nothing but secualar sexual indoctrination and a gateway to all kinds of grooming. There is no God therefore everything is permissible. That's the motto of public-school sex ed.
@@ClaraBowInThisLight I just disagree. I want to teach and talk to my kids about that. I don’t want the schools and teachers doing that job for me. I understand not all kids have that option. Maybe an opt in/opt out situation for schools. However, just because not all kids have parents who will talk about that doesn’t mean we should trample the parents who do want to discuss that with their children on their own time in their own way as parents should.
@@rebeccaculver1008in the Jewish Hebrew way kids learned about it cause they were present at weddings where the marriage between man and woman was consummated right after the vows were said. The husband and wife would go into a tent and have sex. It was an opportunity for the parents to speak about it with their kids. It was a celebration of purity and of intimacy between the man and woman and God covering them two. I think the issue is that nowadays many parents teach their kids about sex fueled by fear or with a this is bad thing when it isn’t a bad thing. That impacts a child hugely in how you make sex a bad thing instead of saying God made it and it’s good and it’s beautiful for marriage and then fight to keep it when you marry cause even then the enemy tries to keep married couples from having it. So I’m all for parents doing it but do it when they need to know because kids know but don’t understand and also the church should also be responsible to bring sex in the goodness that God made it not teaching it or talking about it with such a perverted form and such a bad thing. It doesn’t help anyone.
💯 no to sex ed in the schools
This was sooo good! But Carl, please let your wife finish a sentence without talking over her!
I know people keep saying it’s not about you, but I just discovered my husband’s porn addiction over a month ago and I feel like my whole world has been shattered. We’ve been married for several years and he supported and loved all the same anti human trafficking groups like I did, he was repulsed by porn in shows and movies with me, so I thought we were on the same page. After we had our first baby, he encouraged me to want to dress better for each other. I didn’t let myself go, but I was unaware of the booty exercise shorts and pants, and the cleavage crop tops. He bought me a bunch of things for Christmas. I’ve always enjoyed working out. Anyways, when our first turned one, we were pregnant again with twins. So within 20 months, my body gave birth to 3 babies. I’ve always had a small frame so I bounced back pretty quickly but my belly button doesn’t look the same and I have a bit of loose skin around my tummy. I’m a SAHM and pour everything into my family and raising them well. And every time my husband came home, he was always tired, irritated, angry. I’d make sure dinner was on the table and all he had to do was spend an hour with the kids before dinner and bedtime, because they hadn’t seen him all day. And after the kids were asleep, I always felt this distance between us. I would want to have sex and he would reject me probably about 85% of the time which I thought was strange because we are in our early 30s. He tried telling me his testosterone was low, and all this stuff. So I stopped wanting to have sex with him and when we would it would be so awkward because it had been so long and my intimacy with him had been shut down for so long, it just felt wrong. I always thought there was something wrong with me for wanting to have sex with my husband. Then it turns out, he’s a porn addict and doing it at work. And he was comparing my body with these porn stars. I’ve been told by many that I am beautiful and they can’t believe how good I look for having twins and 3 kiddos under 2. I feel like my body is a warrior and it has gone through so much and it is beautiful, but my husband’s unfaithfulness has broken me. So I can’t help but to think it kind of is about me…I’m a perfectionist so to hear him so these things is absolutely devastating. Can anyone relate?
It's demonic and flesh. Get yourself centered on God. That's his problem. You are not the cause of someone's sin or demons and sounds like there's far too much fleshly issues going on in your marriage. Pray for him and get close to the Lord. Our lives are not about sex and how we look. Walk by the spirit. Yes it's good to be disciplined but not for sexual purposes. Your husband is perverting things and has spirit spouses because of porn. Pray for him and get those spirits off you too
Oh this has risen to my favorite podcast. As a therapist my initial response was omg where is the therapists anonymity. Then I paused. I dialed in. This was superb. Oh this level of honesty is needed. Love how it was said you can say you are an addict and it doesn’t Diminish how you see God. But also how you say you hurt and then immediately bring a positive. Omg that Is exhausting to do. It’s a relearning we must do as Christian’s. We can say we hurt and just leave it. So so good. Blessings to you both. People who are doing the work are who I desire to have in my life. You can be saved and do zero work. ❤❤❤❤ bravo
It's sad how the church is so secularized and just big business, and ministery isn't unto the Lord, for His kingdom and glory, and one doesn't quit "ministry" because they are living a lifestyle of sin, they are just worried about losing their "job.!" What a mess...
1:24:06 or you can choose to honor God and your spouse with the most important vow you ever make and chose to love even when you still feel bitterness and anger while hopefully learning to not be miserable. One life to live… be happy ideology will send your eternal soul to hell. Choose to suffer for a bit and obtain a better resurrection - last few verses of Hebrews 11.
I agree; God willing, your mature voice will come out, and a new phase of ministry ahead. That statement reminds me of a pastor who lived a double life spending $300k on prostitutes, and once it became public, he thought his ministry was over; however, in his words, looking back over the recovery period, he impacted hundreds of thousands of men struggling as well.His ministry had just begun! I've been married 24 years and by Gods grace have not crossed the line although its been super close!! because of my lack of maturity. I'm finally starting to mature after years of taking my wife for granted and being an idiot at times. I respect your journey guys and am a keen listener, its real yo!
Well said!!
It should have been over, and so should Lentz's
This is the Link to a video made by a ministry called Iam second, testimony of Nate Larkin a pastor who's true ministry started the day he got caught spending $300k on prositutes - th-cam.com/video/0Cw7aWUQeWY/w-d-xo.htmlsi=qdFc7nqYK-FJ1WhM
@@ma61kinghave you ever read the Bible????
This is beautiful, thanks Carl and team❤❤
32:00 scripture does not support the notion that all sex addiction = trauma. Solomon must have been very traumatized.
I think you need to re-visit Solomon's story; the drama/trauma of infidelity/murder/rape surrounding his conception & birth were well-known, his upbringing amongst David's hareem/household which clearly included sexual dysfunction & leading to likewise in Absalom & Amnon, as well as Solomon.
@@eltongood2474 It's just sin. It doesn't require overpriced psychoanalysis.
@@RCGWho Well when you talking generational Sin, then everything comes into play... I have yet to see someone who hasn't had their first child out of wedlock on my mother's side(including myself), what happened in our families past definitely can decide what happens to us if we choose not to address it properly, yes David repented, but did Bathsheba? Also how was Solomon raised? (The fact he had 1000 woman at his disposal & had altars for his foreign wives is also telling)
@Diablo22967 Diablo? Bizarre name to be using.
I don't care if it is generational or trauma, going to the sex therapist is the opposite of solving it.
@@Diablo22967 LOL Blame Solomon's sexual immorality on Bathsheba.
Love Carl and Laura! This was a test that’s turning into a testimony! Healing so many lives through your story! Rooting for you guys all the way!!
I'm glad you made this video, I can recall when I was homeless and faced with many things in Life until $35,000 biweekly began rolling in and my Life went from A homeless nobody to a different person with good things to offer!!!!!❤️
How did you do it? Do explain please 😯
My family have been into series of sufferings lately
All thanks to Christine Evelyn Mackie
It seems like Christine doesn't just see trading as a way to make money for herself. She's been actively teaching others her strategies and helping them achieve financial independence too.
Absolutely! I've heard stories of people who started with little to no knowledge but made it out victoriously thanks to Christine Evelyn Mackie.
I really need assistance
How do I reach her???
Thank you for talking about this with a therapist who talks about the technicalities that go on inside a person that has been abused. There are people that lose their lives because of the frustration that no one understands what they’re going through. Well-meaning church people unintentionally do a disservice by putting down therapy. And instead ‘spiritualizing things,’ and brushing over real issues that people face, ignoring things, which is toxic. They do this because they have their own unresolved hurt inside of them. Hurt people hurt people. Healed people, heal people.
Thank you for the deep work you are doing as a family ❤ it’s touching peoples’ lives.
Discern what is really happening here.
I just turned 40 and in my youth, I was involved at both the city and hills campuses of HS. My time spent there shaped much of my 'Christian experience'. There are a lot of 'things' happening at HS (and associated acts) and I can say that walking away from the Institutional Church System (with their millions of little sectarian divides - fleshly, according to Paul, an apostle) has helped me walk with the Lord in sincerity. There is a huge difference in walking with God by faith (without being observed by religious people, platform or not), and being an adherent of Christian religion, with its programs and services. God does not exist within the boundaries of institutional Christian religion and since coming away from the sects, I have realized how much of what goes on within Christendom is fleshly and idolatrous. Harsh, but it is what I see. Whatever these leaders do for a salary, many humble believers do on a daily basis OUTSIDE the religious clubs which claim Jesus as their leader. If you want to serve the Lord, do so QUIETLY, offline and without your hand out begging for money. That is true servanthood.
Genuinely curious: what are you practicing as far as Christian fellowship?
@@knicholas8768 how did they hang out in the book of Acts. there is your answer. what we see today is Rome Repackaged. It is gross idolatry
Good Lord, they give a wink here to children exploring what feels good to them and essentially mocked chastity until marriage. Once a progressive Christian, always a progressive Christian.
I love them! They’re sharing so openly & helping so many people
The guy is doing way too much talking, let the ladies engage more on topic conversations
Hi Carl and Laura. I am enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the honesty and openness you have brought to your stories and your journeys. As a listener, may I suggest relistening to some episodes, like this one, and notice how often you, Carl, cut Laura off while she is still communicating her point. It can be hard for people to wait when they have something they feel is insightful to add to a discussion and perhaps don't want to forget it. So, they speak over someone else before that person has the opportunity to finish their thought. I encourage you to hold yourself back when you want to jump in with a comment. It is easy to dismiss what I just said as, "Well, we know each other so well, or She isn't offender by it, or she knows I wasn't intentionally cutting her off." Wife, friend, therapist, pastor, child...it's doesn't matter. Please respect someone enough to allow a person to finish speaking before jumping in with your two cents of knowledge and observation. Perhaps you aren't aware you do it as often as you do, Carl, but you do. Strong women will not respond well to it. I find myself wanting to celebrate how far you have come and how much you have grown, but then I am immediately put off by the annoyance of your interrupting habit. Intentional or not, it is rude and dismissive. It is likely just a habit the two of you have in your relationship dynamic, but I felt compelled to mention it. Laura already doesn't speak often. She isn't as verbose and grandiose as you are, Carl. That's fine. She doesn't have to be. That really is your thing. However, when she speaks, we want to hear her finish her thought, her sentence before you speak over her mid word. You showed so much patience with your children while they worked through verbalizing their thoughts and feelings on your podcast. I urge you to find the same patience with your wife as she works through verbalizing her thoughts and emotions. She doesn't need you to swoop in and be her thought savior. Wait on her voice.
This is a profile in Courage and Grace. I’ve followed your story. It takes so much more strength to stay and work. Most people don’t choose that path. God bless you and your family. God is a Keeper. ❤️🙏🏽
Another excellent episode. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. This helped me so much. And you're right, she's pretty awesome!
So impressed with Carl and Laura❤ really proud of them both xx God can turn the most hardest thing to bear into gold. So in awe of the brutal rawness of this very hard conversation. He lost his way, and like the prodigal son, found his way back ❤
I appreciate Laura’s questions.
Have so far watched 10 episodes of this podcast.. and I have loved each one of them
This family is the true example that GOD doesn't waste pain, they went through pain, through fire and got refined. Now they share their story and through it lives are being touched
I love the fact the therapist told Mr Carl to stop apologizing for his tears.. and I think that society puts shame on men who cry and yet they are also human beings who have emotions and one way to let out those emotions is through crying, love the fact that the therapist told him to not to suppress those emotions.. I hope other men can find such safe spaces
May GOD bless the Lentz family and everyone watching their podcast
Hi guys Michelle from Australia
You have no idea I'm a Christian I have been shamed by church's I have a truma past I'm in my 50's and hearing your testimony gives me a wow I hear you as I hear me.i have been so shamed by pastors many years ago AOG ect..let's just say.
And now the penny is dropping and it makes me cross nothing is wrong with me my past of child hood abuse ect is the Y church never helped me.i love Jesus the Trinity and I'm so grateful for my relationship with God.
Thankyou thankyou bless you both I admire your msg
And I also want to say I know and understand what it is like to be named shamed and friends drop you.we are the problem right oh so wrong.
Bless you both.
So now the word of God and life in the Spirit don’t help, it’s all about our feelings. Being led by feelings just like the world.
I didn’t like this guy before and I love him now… truly authentic … you can tell 💯
Loved this conversation. So many good points. Thank you for putting your recovery out there for others to - hopefully - find their own recovery and be challenged to live the truly free life God wants for us and stop hiding.
Alex was saying some on point things! She said that people use addictions to calm anxiety. Thats so true! It's crazy that we as Christians are broken people, but most can't bring up their struggles because they will be judged by the church, that needs to change.
This video is wrecking and freeing all at once. It’s powerful, vulnerable and desperately needed in the body of Christ. When we believe we can “pastor” couples w this type of dysfunction and pain, we miss the depth of knowledge needed to truly help. I pray God sends more men and women of God into fields like this. Especially ones the church is terrible about communicating from the pulpit.
Brave Dr. Alex, Laura and Carl.
I'm so grateful for this podcast 🙌❤️
To all us who getting annoyed: What would the story look like if not the father but elderly son had met the prodigal when he returned home?
What would it look like if the prodigal son came home and blamed his elder brother for his shenanigans in a far country.
❤ this was great. Laura is a gangsterrrr.
Wait…I’m confused, are we telling our kids to “explore” their bodies?
How do you do this in a healthy way in your opinion? Is there a way to do so and honor traditional understandings of scripture, to avoid lust, etc
Yes. It's not biblical. It's secular. If you get too into your children's s3xuality, you risk breaking down boundaries that should be there. Plus, while m@sturb@tion is normal, it's not a great habit and some would say is fornication.
Do yourself a favor and don't take Carl's advice on sex.
Carl seems to take secular advice more seriously than what the Bible teaches
@@hopeful3583 "He's doing the work ". What does that even mean? He's showing up for $200 an hour therapy sessions?
it seems like Carl and Laura agrees with the secular therapist on giving into one's desires. Is this how they handle all their addictions as I am sure there are many other addictions in their lives beyond what they are sharing here. Sharing with children about sin, how our broken bodies react to sin, derive pleasure with sin and how we can trust Jesus Christ, how we can trust Scripture and the Holy Spirit to resist temptation. It is certainly not easy, but there is peace in Jesus Christ, more so than the the solutions the world and secular therapists provides.
Doesn't the bible say let the weak say they are strong. Let the poor say they are rich. I'm curious what his stance on deliverance is ... one of Jesus main ministries . The therapeutic process is interesting and there is a place for it in the faith ofcourse but ... is this therapist a beleiver in christ?
This has been my favorite episode thus far. This really hit home - except this man was not my husband. I was playing the “wife role” living with him and doing all the things. My relationship with the Lord grew stronger through this relationship because I prayed soooo strongly for us, for him, for God to reveal to me if that is where I was supposed to be. Just as Carl said: if they are snappy or defensive then there are things going on. I prayed so hard and the Lord revealed the answer to me plain and clear and there was no way for him to keep his infidelity hidden. I pray that he gets the help he needs to dig deep and find healing in his trauma.
"This may be your real voice." I love that encouragement
Jesus said he who sins is a slave of sin, referring to the bondage of sin. Also, lust is an appetite that is never satisfied, it never has enough.
“There’s no levels with sexual abuse.” It took me 20 years to admit I was SA by a parent. This work you are now doing is so important. As a child raised in an evangelical home, sex was never spoken about, it was tied to shame, and sinful. The church has done a terrible job setting people up to be sexually healthy individuals.
In my opinion, many Christian's sexual hangups are not because their parents were too embarrassed to talk about it (though that is an issue). The issue becomes the association of the guilt/shame of premarital sexual sin with the sexual act. But since God isn't Brene Brown, shame is an appropriate response to sin. God can and does heal if we repent and pray through it.
Also, the church isn't responsible to do sex ed any more than public schools are. I suppose they could train and encourage the responsible party, the parents, to do their duty. When the church has helped ala the Purity Culture thing, everyone flips out.
@@RCGWho agreed. It’s not the church’s responsibility to disseminate sex ed. however, the church has, historically, made sex a taboo topic, shrouded in shame. Sex is healthy and should not be associated with shame. If the church is going to have a lot to say about how one should not engage in sex, then it should have just as much to say about how to engage in sex.
@monibee1980 It's very hard to lump thousands of churches together and say they all shrouded sex in shame. I think Catholicism has a weird issue with denying Mary ever had sex and pretending their priests aren't gay.
The first issue is that the vast majority of parents are freaked out about having "the talk." I was thinking about this recently and wondering why. I think it comes down to the level of intimacy involved. It's so private, and it should be. There's also a God-given strong wall of partition between our sexuality and our children's. It's a no man's land between our and our children's sexuality to prevent incest. It goes both ways. You try to talk about it with your children and they say eeewwww and tell you to stop. (Unless you're really on it and talk about stuff really young) So everyone is weirded out about talking about sex. It's not because we are ashamed or we think or communicate that sex is shameful. We're just awkward because of all that I mentioned so we're silent. The silence is interpreted as shame and dirty.
Church. They're usually teaching the Bible. Sex is in there, but no, pastors don't put sex therapy on the Sunday school schedule. They are going to have to address it now that society has gone sexually insane.
I see so many chains falling. This is so so good!! Thank you so much for your transparency and love. Praying that covers you all bc this is kingdom work.
I'm glad I listened to this. Brought up some interesting plints in ways I hadn't thought of before. Thank you!
Sex education at 13:33. The only church that has sex education is the Unitarian Church. They have classes for youth that deal with all the topics surrounding sex. I would like to see data on what their marriage later in life are like and how satisfying the sex life is.
These narcissists always want to be in the lime light.
Wouldn’t trust this therapist
A big issues is having money to get good experienced therapist!
Loved this episode so much! It’s going to help so many relationships. Please bring your therapist back for another talk. 🙏🏼
We are all frail. Frail humans incapable of being perfect and born into sin. We all struggle with things. Not one person in the Bible didn’t struggle with something, shame, fear, anger, jealousy, envy, sexual immorality or ect. We all have sins or bad habits that takes encampment in our minds and heart. But we have to live with it but never allow it to live our own lives for us. Easier said than done, believe me. It’s like a two part life. I used to judge people like Carl because he was very Christian like and did not feel his humanness. I think most church people are overly righteous Bible thumping people, unfortunately. It’s glad to see a man who loves God remembers that he is a creation first not a label or name but a being made with dualities under God’s hand. As I get older I realize this life is far more nuanced than we ever imagined.
I totally agree with the fact that Carl sounds so full of wisdom pouring out of his heart and the love shed abroad in his heart by the Holy Spirit. God is a restorer, and he certainly has put the work in. There is liberty and it is good to stand fast in the liberty where Christ has made us free. God bless you and your family Carl and Laura Lentz and your three beautiful children.
Wisdom=the fear of the Lord
Hey Carl & Laura, i dont often comment on videos. I have commented on a your latest podcast to encourage yall and say thank you!
Can we also remind people that all therapists and psychologists are not created equal.
There are great ones, and also very poor ones.
Especially if you are a christian, seek out christian psychologists who understand your faith and have insight into toxic faith culture too.
If you live in Australia, i have recommendations 😊.
I see a much more authentic Carl. He still obviously has work to do and its honorable to be so humble especially in the public eye. However, this is healing. Him being vulnerable, being honest and putting himself in his wifes shoes is what will make all the difference. I think our society has given men no space to show and feel the bad things that have happened to them along the way and they stuff it down. Just like it affects women, it will slowly affect men as they get older and it will lead to destruction. Bravo for the honesty and openness. This is exactly what people need to see when it comes to working out couples issues and with a professional that is non judgemental but validating them both. His wife has a beautiful spirit and I have no doubt she would have survived with or without him. This is why the story of Genesis is one of my favorites. God made woman to be mans help-mate. We need each other in different ways and together in a healthy space is an absolutely beautiful thing.
I'm not buying the newly discovered "abuse" story.
I can’t see Jesus for Carl Lentz.
Everyone who is talking about Laura being cut off just came on here to be triggered. They are simply having a conversation. This was Carl’s therapist once he got out of rehab, not Laura’s. Let people heal and judge ya damn self
Instead of focusing on how to battle the desires of the flesh with walking by the spirit (Galatians 5:16-26), there is too much focus on sex .
I always thought Lentz looks and dresses like Dave Gahan from Depeche Mode...which is also ironic , considering Modes' reputation with dancing around religious taboos and the sex scandal surrounding Lentz 😳
People need to realize, that people are going to be people. Those who idolized Carl, gave into sin because of him, didn't further their own faith and relationship with God outside of him, or were misguided by a human being.... don't need to hate him. I pray for those that have had their path with God misaligned as a result of Hillsong and as a result of him as a person. Maybe he isn't the best person. There is a track record to show that you shouldn't follow him which is why I'm happy he isn't doing ministry any longer. I myself remain very skeptical of listening to this after watching the Megachurch Exposed docuseries.......... The fact is that there are some conversations that are needed to be had. The sexual discussion was tremendous to hear. Many Christians suffer from terrible sexual relationships with their spouses. I haven't heard anyone actually discuss it in depth like it is on here. Same with being molested as a child. This seems like what he was supposed to be doing all along rather than leading as a pastor. Maybe this will actually help people in a more substantial way....... We are all sinners. I hope that he has actually become a better person, husband, and father just like I would hope for myself and everyone else.
I don't think they are depending on therapists too much. Just showing how much help we need and how the Lord provides all the help we need if we are willing to admit it and He opens the doors for us to get it.
What did everyone do for centuries without Freud and Jung? Therapy is not a biblical construct. Mentoring and wise, godly counsel are.
Loads of men even Christians do sadly blame their wives and confusing go to therapy and are full in iniquity. They don't care. Its sad. At least he is kind and taking accountability. That's awesome
and yet, if we walk in the spirit, we die to self, the addictions melt away. Endless hours of talking about it will never solve the problem....a sinful heart is the problem...Christ is the solution
You are talking like the man in the relationship it’s the only one who can be addicted. We are a Christian family and our daughter who has been married over 5 years seems to have this addiction. She needs help. She is talking to a therapist but can you give direction in making sure the therapist can handle compulsive sexual behavior disorder?
I enjoyed previous episodes. But not being clear about sex should happen, and genders is scary
At 2:42. I am glad you found a good therapist. Too often Christians get referred to therapists who are ineffective at dealing with sexual dysfunction or sexual addiction. I also think many Christian women in particular are past victims of sex abuse or abusive relationships with men. Most fail to fully address these issues before marriage. This creates many problems in the relationship and bedroom.
Carl, Laura...this IS your lane. Of course, no one would choose it, but God knew He could entrust you Both with it. He knows what you are made of and what He Is making of you (Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. Phil 1:6)...that you would let Him get the Glory that is due Him. Your "voice of wisdom" has come through much grief, as Ecclesiastes 1:18 states.
My story is EXACTLY the same. My beloved, my marriage, 3 kids, ministry. All shattered. Every word you speak is 100% right. Every word. Ignore the skeptic's. Don't you quit!! I need you. If im the only one. I need you. No one understands ministry families...except other ministry families...and sometimes... not even them. The onslaught of the enemy is ruthless to take out His servants. God has given you a new "pulpit". Don't you quit!!!
Great podcast! Thank you for sharing! JPII's Theology of the Body says a lot about our body as well. I would recommend looking into that as well! Christopher West does some great work about TOB as well!
Where is the power of the blood of Jesus in all of this? When you come to Christ, His blood washes you clean of past traumas and hurts. What is going on here?
this is a case example of a life not fully surrendered to God.we in the west play games with God I want some of God but i want my worldly pleasures too.
Appreciating the vulnerability and transparency. Carl and Laura your story is a testimony of God’s goodness and Grace.
Praying for you Carl and stop cutting your wife off while she’s talking.😂
But it’s all good. Happy for you guys.
Poor Laura.. asking some heartfelt and heartbreaking questions of the doctor. He keeps telling her how strong she is but she is very hurt and afraid.
Praying & rooting for you guys ❤ Great episode!! So helpful!!
The church is teaching people to seek divine understanding from "qualified" therapists, somebody who has not been soaked and marinated in the presence of God and has gotten God's leadership status. Carl probably understands the word better than this woman, how can she help him with the issue of TURNING one's life AROUND.
I'm speaking from experience as I fell into a deep depression in 2019, I was 22 and thought I knew my own way up until that point. God placed me in a position in which I had to move back home with my mother. I may sound biased but a FANTASTIC servant. She coached me back on my feet and taught me the ways of the Lord all over again. The ONLY ideology that can TRULY fix brokenness, is not education, or great logic, it ITS DIVINITY. I Remember her giving me answers to questions that completely went against anything culture advised, in fact, if culture were to hear some of the things she said they would call her "toxic". The Bible says the wisdom of man is FOOLISHNESS to God.
The information you take in at such a delicate time has got to come from the spirit of God (via a tried and tested servant), who has come to understand the intricate conflicts between man's logic and God's. That is why Christ came and constantly referenced "The kingdom of heaven is liketh, the kingdom of heaven is liketh." He came to introduce an ideology completely foreign to man, an ideology that can not be compromised and can only be taught or understood the DEEPER you go into the presence of God, Or the HIGHER up the mountain as we say in church. Revelation 4:1: "After this, I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven: and the first voice which I heard was as it were of a trumpet talking with me; which said, COME UP HITHER, and I will shew thee things which must be hereafter."
We have Sarah. We always seek Hagar to help God out.
This is the exact reason why people remain in cycles of trauma and brokenness. Being soak in the presence of God isn't a qualifier for God to use someone/something. God uses all thing for His glory. This idea that something/someone needs to be super spiritual is no different than what other faith use to convince others they are the greater faith. Science is also divine because God created it, and understanding it better can lead to further glory to God. This is also why apologist exist effective because they don't separate logic from divinity.
@@Loofabean Getting help from a secular expert who was indoctrinated in feminism, evolution, and perversion is unhelpful. That's not God's provision.
@@Loofabean Philippians 3: Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. 3 For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh- 4 though I myself have reasons for such confidence.
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
@@Loofabean Philippians 3:
If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: 5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
7 But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in[a] Christ-the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ-yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Gods not on the fence about redemption, amen to that. He is all about the redemption story look at most of the men in the Bible they all went through redemption stories and God raised them up.
This honesty is beautiful and it’s incredibly noble - God isn’t unclear about redemption and why I Iove him so much - praying you continue to put love first in your lives ❤ it’s changing the world and empowering so many without a voice
Porn addiction at 19:28. This is the scourge of modern society. There are many closeted porn addicts in evangelical churches and other faiths. I have had leadership meetings in church on this problem found among men and women. We had to refer and sometimes pay for counselling for those with porn addictions.
Closeted g@ys as well. Hetero p0rn is creating bix3xuality. Men (and women) are not just looking at a centerfold in Playboy anymore. They are literally watching men AND women have s3x. It's creating a desire for both s3xes.