She Says: “I Need Space.” You say: “???”
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ก.ค. 2024
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Link to the video mentioned: • Partner Cheated? HARSH...
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Your partner hit you with the panic and anxiety-inducing phrase:
“I need space” (Or variations of this...) 😨😨😨😨
Obviously, you'd feel anxious, and confused...
In this video:
I am going to show you why this very question will be your demise!
The secret sauce response that only my clients know on the right way to respond when your partner wants space.
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I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now. This is probably the best one so far, very eye opening and for me very humbling. I will be speaking to Jason soon and I hope I can get in your program. I really need to reconstruct myself in a way that will led me to be the best person I can be and for sure get my marriage back but most important get myself back. Thanks Geoffrey.
“If you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.”
😅😢😭
She called three weeks ago and told me she loves me and misses and we agreed to talk about our relationship but she wasnt ready yet, been back in no contact since. She reached out today to talk about some small things i played it casual and didnt press the issue of us having that big talk, but im hoping shewas just testing the water befo re actually taking the next step. Im ready for the big talk no matter the outcome 🙌
Congrats brother!! I wish you the best moving forward! Yea man I will keep it casual for the first couple of interactions! She’s definitely testing the waters with you to see if you’re going to come on strong or not and wonder, if you changed or not . The main goal is to keep it casual and build emotional safety! Eventually when you’re ready set the date with her!! I will suggest when you all go out focus on being in the moment don’t talk about feelings or the future just focus on having fun and enjoying each others company the big talk will come when safety is there ! I’m in the same boat as you!! We can’t rush the process!!! Your doing a good job stay strong brother 🤝👍🏾
❤
Thanks fpr the wonderful material Geoff. I swear it always feels like I am hearing some of this stuff for the first time. It always hits hard.
But I love the fact that you force us to look within ourselves for the problems, and for the solutions within those problems. I wish more coaches were like you.
I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now. This is probably the best one so far, very eye opening and for me very humbling. I will be speaking to Jason soon and I hope I can get in your program. I really need to reconstruct myself in a way that will led me to be the best person I can be and for sure get my marriage back but most important get myself back. Thanks Geoffrey.
Just found your videos yesterday. I like how genuine your videos are. You don’t seem scorn, or manipulative, or just some dude giving a generic a-hole answer. You give understanding.
Great information and helps keep things in perspective.
Thank you Geoffrey, your videos are amazing and they have and continue to save my relationship!
Awesome to hear!
Geoffrey, thank you. Your content is very thought provoking. I feel that I have accepted as many flaws as I can identify. I have expressed acceptance and humility. I have just begun giving her space this week. Went 7 days no contact. Saw her briefly. Exchanged goodbyes, wished her well. In time I hope to identify some of my flaws that I cannot presently see.
how did it went?
Great video man👌
My brother Geoffrey always on point!!! I love my brother 💯
Appreciate your comments, brother!
I've made these mistakes. What we fear we try to control. A 3 year relationship I had just ended and I remember that after the first year we had a disagreement and I responded to it as if we had only been together 1 Month which was still wrong. That was a bad seed I planted and it grew to this. I'm introspective and see my own faults when I can but its not easy to see the ones I dont know are there. I think those are the ones that do the most damage. I recommend Geoffrey because he shows that there is much more than what we immediately see.
😂these videos are funny when you look at it from the outside i tries to hard for 12 weeks but i aint quiting
I'm in a weird place where I am very much still in love with her, so OF COURSE I want her back, i want our home and family and future which all feels like it was ripped away from me. But she is a terrible partner. Like, objectively. She's viciously mean, condescending, lazy, selfish, entitled, emotionally stunted. Even HER friends are telling me that I'm so much better off without her. How to reconcile these feelings, i dont know.
Dude, we have the same wife! How dumb are we that we want to stay with them! I am also so in love with mine also!
We’ve been on a break now for about 5 weeks and it got a little easier, but that thought of “it’s over” is still lingering in the back of my mind. We’ve had deep conversations in between, but they ultimately end with her saying that there’s no hope and I should move on. She even acknowledges my changes, but then says that the changes will be great for my next partner. Is this a test?
Same for me. She says you’ll be amazing in your next relationship. But she also refuses to talk about us anymore. “It no longer matters.” She just sees me as a casual friend. I’m remaining patient but I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing… we still live together. So I’m double worried I’m doing it all wrong.
We enroll 1,500+ clients per year, and ALL of them literally get told the same thing.
Translation - You've changed, but I could do without you and you still have a lot of things that makes me miserable. I want nothing to do with it - double it and give it to the next person :)
The focus doesn't change - when you become so irreplaceable in your ability to create the 5 pillars + back it up with internal shifts, that's all that matters.
@@GeoffreySetiawanThank you! I almost got to a point where I wanted to give up about a week or two into it, but recently I started thinking that this is all part of the process. Specially from what Ive seen in your other videos. It gives me hope that I just need to trust the process. My next step will be to untether and keep working on myself without expecting results from her end.
@@marcoramos4873 If you give up during this time, you will just prove her right. This is why we teach untethering first, and do not take on clients who don't want to understand how crucial untethering is.
th-cam.com/video/O4JaqE2GtOY/w-d-xo.html
@@GeoffreySetiawan I won’t give up, specially now that I know what I need to do. How do you know when you become untethered? Do you start showing apathy towards her or is it something that you’ll feel inside yourself? I understand what needs to happen, but im not sure how to get there quite yet.
So hard when I'm still living with her and the kids. Supposed to be moving out soon. I'm trying anyway. Be honest, is there a chance if we've been talking and semi-flirting but broke up in July 2023 and I haven't even done no contact yet because I'm still there? If I move out and apply no contact and do the work needed for me is it too late by this point? Have I gotten her comfortable with the breakup?
Literally in this boat right now and it feels like im sinking.
Dude same
Same here. Don’t give up and just keep working on what you can control.
Sending my love. We’re gonna be ok.
Im on day 43 of no contact. Its hard, but there are a lot of signs she wants to reconsile.. she even reached out. But just not too convincing yet.. very difficult. I miss her a lot
What I always tell my clients - if you cannot master the internal shifts enough to THRIVE through this, don't expect your partner to trust your changes and come back.
e.g. Would you trust someone's changes if they are making some changes, but everyday, they feel so miserable doing it?
How genuine is it?
How long can it last?
Im trying so hard to change, and I have changed a lot. My ex even told me this. But I just miss her a lot. And I want to give her space and the break-up. Missing her is just hard
@@Anonymou990 Just note that degrees & standards of change is relative.
For my clients, they get their partner to recognize their changes within days or weeks of joining.
But there is a very VAST distance between having your partner LOGICALLY understand your changes, and your partner EMOTIONALLY gravitating towards your changes.
I understand what you are saying. I love the change and things ive learned. Only problem is, is that I feel hurt and I miss her. Thanks for everything ! Much love
What if i give her the space and she thinks i gave up on trying? Please help me.
She said that she is not happy for the last 2 montgs ( we were 3 years happy together ) she was depressed , she didnt want to out , nothing was making her happy. And last week she came crying and saing she is nit good enough for me and she was making me feel bad and she wanted to stay alone to figure out what was happaning. She said we had the perfect relationship and it couldnt be better ... should i contact her or let it be
Have you talked to her after that ? Please update
What if she wants a break because she is seeing someone els
Geoffrey, in your experience, does romantic love come back once four of the five pillars are re-established, or can romantic love die to the point where all that is possible is a friendship? I've watched the video where you showed the five stages and how long your clients spend in each of the stages, and it's very clear that extensive damaged is never fixed within a few months, but can take a long, long, long time.
We still live together, and she likes talking to me, and she sees and acknowledges my changes, but she says that the romantic love has died and won't come back, but that she'll gladly be my friend.
How is this different than the 1,000+ clients I enroll every year?
@@GeoffreySetiawan I should have worded that differently since I'm obviously aware a lot of your clients end up getting their partners’ love back.
I also know that you say that once you're irreplaceable, she will come back. I was just wondering if you've had instances where too much damage happened, and all that ended up being possible was a friendship. (And yes, I know my anxiety is speaking...)
@@Infinitevanity If you become irreplaceable, no such thing as too much damage, as I have expressed countless times.
Funny part though, is that people who eventually become world-class became so because they did not waste time asking TBU (True but Useless) questions like these :)
@@GeoffreySetiawan I can believe that too. However, overcoming anxiety is tough, and I'm at the beginning of the journey, and I'm learning.
That's some warrior stuff right there!@@GeoffreySetiawan
i wish i found you a while ago man. my gf of 4 years wants space and it’s only been a week. i’ve been losing my mind ever since. i love her so much. idk what i would do if i lose her.
Same
she's probably seeing someone else.. or is talking to.. someone who is giving her the emotional 'im there for you whenever you need'... the same thing happened to me a year ago.. just talk it out and move on.. that's my best advice as bad as it may seem to you now.. women always say they need space but in 99% cases someone else is already in the orbit and they pull away just to monkey branch... they calculate - how much am i gonna get out of this if i stay vs leave... you are losing your mind because you are panicking and its difficult not to.. been there between january - may last year.. worst 5 months of my life where i spent energy on someone who did not even want to be there... you are losing mind cause you feel like whatever you try it's not working and you can't mindread into her.. try not to give a fuck.. like completely... no begging, no crying.... one thing i'd have done differently was - the moment she needed space/time I should have kicked her out cause she was playing an entirely different game which was revealed later on.. i was stupid enough to be kind and calm and caring (like walking her dog) while she was meeting a dude for coffee chats already... and that will fck you up even more than now... you can become the best partner, you already are.. just.. not for her... i started hitting the gym, dating women, focusing on my talents/hobbies/skills/work goals.. everything that i felt i was sacrificing for someone who required all that child like attention.. and after a few monts i don't even remember who i was 8-12 months ago..
@@karolkozak64 bro what are you talking about. this doesn’t help me at all. all this does is more damage to me. i can’t just “not care”. i’ve been with her for 4 years
@@bddjulian684trust me i know very well how u feel. Like i said been there last year. Took ne 4 months to get over. And like u i would not accept anyone telling me this but i should have. So the big question is - what changed?
@@bddjulian684hey in similar situation. Spend all the money you have and go for intense therapy to break the cycle of pain and anxiety. Very important!
How high? 😅
I wish you made this video 2 months ago
It's a long game this.