Bill Burr on Women for 20 minutes straight.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ส.ค. 2022
- Bill Burr on Women for 20 minutes straight.
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#billburr #women #standupcomedy #comedy - บันเทิง
![45 Minutes of Jimmy Carr Roasting Women [UNCUT] | Jimmy Carr](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_OpVWdqSKeg/mqdefault.jpg)
“Oprah’s not even a mother. How the fuck would she know?”
Kills me everytime.
I think she was raped and had to get an abortion or had a stillborn. ☹️👎 not really his place to say this dumb stuff!
@Ugandan Special Forces 🤣🤣Paris huh?
I love that jab. No one's off the table ;-)
Even funnier when you realize that her dad was an actual coal miner.
She had a baby that died but still hilarious😭
This dude is my therapist, life coach, motivational speaker all in one.
Same here man....nice to have a heavy hitter out there batting for us dudes...
your dick is a motivational speaker
:DDD
Hell yeah! Same with George Carlin
@@TheFloatingHouse woh brother lol...George Carlin is even more hard core....carland is a lagend lol
On babys💯💯
Back in 2003 my dad told me one of the biggest lessons of my life : "you are trying to mix women and logic. You can't do that."
Wow😮 💯 Salute.
Your father was indeed a wise man.
....and.....always lie
A very astute observation 😂😂😂
Your dad must of been married Before 🤣😂🤣😂😙
“You know what makes a woman happy?” NOTHING!
Kills me every time.
Not true... two things make me very happy 😅😅
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4k Let me guess...No and Thing
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4k what would that be
@@Lisa-tk7ku8dr4kwhat are those things
Something’s but only for a short time
Best line ever "Women are jealous of how simple the male brain is..." 😊😂
It’s a good joke, and I do get it. But the idea that men are simple is exactly how women get away with psychological and emotional abuse.
@@americandissident9062 Men are complex and incredibly so, But we recognize and utilize the simplicity to make life so much more.
Especially not making the same mistakes over and over and placing blame elsewhere, Simply does not cut it.
It is the woe of man who are simple, simply crazy, simply emotional and simply delusional. Extremely egotistical if the man lets them, to all else around them
Almost all chess players and go players are men,
We like women who simply know when to shut up and speak up. when necessary..
Simply put if they add to our lives we can love and adore them, then construct something more complex, if not simply go away.
@@americandissident9062 A "simple" brain is not necessarily a bad thing.
As Leonardo Da Vinci said "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication."
I am...... I am m not kidding
I felt so seen 😅
“Why would you wanna sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs?” 😂
The amount of times most women NEED to be taken out, restaurant's, movies etc etc. It's insane how unhappy they are unless you treat them like your own child.
Can't go anywhere without em or their spite builds and builds with secret contempt for you
@@mandelorean6243 FACT
$36 now in my city and $56 if you get a drink. Then there's an automatic 22% gratuity applied.
@@mandelorean6243 that's sad. I hope you find a woman who's a friend first & foremost: someone who likes you for you. And who you like, too ...
They love being seen, lol. Peaceful sleep is where it's at, woman go run the streets and pay for your own eggs.
"Gotta give it to the Bushes, they kept their wives in line."
I died 😂😂
they knew their roles besides, the bush men were oil men like JR
My dad gave me these wise words
Never wake a sleeping woman because then she'll be awake.
lol true my man needs some time alone
This is how I treated my mother growing up. Cause if she woke up she'd just tell me off for being happy.
you're dad sounds like he didn't need to be with a woman.
Smart guy. I had to learn it the hard way but once you know. Oh boy do you know
Don't poke the dragon..
> Women: Titanic was so romantic
> Bill: Titanic was a horror movie. all the men died.
This is just hilarious. I love it.
I yelled at my ex-gf many moons ago for crying during some Romance movie and just ice cold watching Saving Private Ryan. She just laughed at me too. Its like lucifers soul is the puppet master of all women. lol
@@Phaze-rb3mp Lucifer is the bringer of light. maybe it's through chaos.. lol
@@Phaze-rb3mpthey're a bunch of nightwalkers the whole lot of them
Love it 😅😅😅😅
In my youth, I saw the movie "Burn After Reading" with my mother. She thought it was a great movie. I hated it! The female lead got what she wanted and the three men who loved her DIED!
Every society needs a man like Bill Burr to point out the absurdities in our lives.
The Greeks had diogenes
The Chinese have ai weiwei
The Roman's had one on every street corner.
We have bill burr and Dave chappelle
Comedians job
He really is fantastic.
He is a very powerful comedian.
@@Banana_SlammaWe could probably stand to add to this short list the late, great George Carlin. Maybe even Samuel Clemens, way back when.
“…like a couple of birds fightin’ over a french fry”. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Never get tired of Bill Burr
That "can you believe that marriage didn't work out?" line is one of my favorite Bill Burr moments LMAO absolute savage
Mans didn't hesitate either! 🤣
That was the best...and he zoned in straight away on that Dyke aggressive personality 💀🤣
gotta give her credit for laughing & not getting all upset like most would lol
@@josh903x for real, that was great too. It made the joke that much better cuz even she couldn't help but appreciate the savagery
@@autonomous8108 the dyke had a sense of humor, she surprisingly made me laugh, and then her reaction to the roast, she definitely has a good sense of humor.
"You know what makes women happy? NOTHING!" Truer words have never been spoken! Thanks Bill!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Women are never satisfied. All they do is complain but they won't leave. It's a pain in the ass to get rid of them.
Women got happy if their personal needs are important to their man. And he give her her privste life. Its like women always got the familys intrests in first place and dont care about her own intrestes. When they had as good luck thst time, they naturally try their luck. Even if its just charity act. Be yourself. What sbout the men,... Like i said.
No wonder. Man cant accept nehative critic.
Man cant accept negative critics.
I am a female and I agree with everything he has said. He’s hilarious. It’s way more true than not true.
You agree with Bill? Honey they need to clone you.
You're about to get a lot of guys wanting to marry you honey,but much love haha
You wanna make some sandwiches and go to the park?
You one of the few 😍
Same. He’s absolutely spot on.
My wife is always asking me what I'm thinking about and when I say nothing she won't believe me, but it's true a lot of the time, lol.
Why do they do that???
Even if you are thinking about something, it's something stupid, like "I wonder how hard it would be to convert my car to jet engine power..."
@@fryncyaryorvjink2140 “What if I just started living in the woods tomorrow? How long would I last?”
I think Billy Gardell once said something like "we say nothing because what we're really thinking about is something so insanely stupid that hearing it out loud could make you're brain short circuit so we just keep it to ourselves. You're welcome."
My wife would hate to hear what I'm thinking about....luckily she has never asked that. Quite frankly, I don't think she's remotely interested.
Bill Burr is every middle aged man I worked with, no matter the race 😂
Those smoke breaks use to have me dying of laughter but they were so damn serious talking they shit
Yeah Me too haha, I have great memories of some outlandish conversations, great times.
Hell ya dude
just wait.... ull see its all true
At 41, I just came an "old head", or someone in between, at those work smoke breaks lol. Talking shit.
its built up frustration...they gotta vent or theyre gonna blow up
This isn't even shitting on women, he's just telling the truth in sarcastic funny ways..
@low beam You good bro?
Most comedians do the same thing its just popular these days to be part of the cancel culture.
@lowlypop - I think he was asking because you have left the exact same comment over and over again throughout this comment section, which make you come across as a bit odd. And the “who is asking and why are you making assumptions” comment makes you come across as extremely psychotic. Hope that clarifies things for ya.
Women disagree. Anything that suits their insipid ideology of indecisiveness, and their lack of reason and accountability.
@lowlypop cause ur spamming some weird shit LOL
What Bill meant is that women are jealous of how contented a man can be without needing everything in his life to be perfect - but he delivered it in a way that wouldn't upset his wife.
Oh I never could have come to that conclusion on my own 😂
As a woman I find this hilarious . Bill really shows how absurd society really is..
....How Absurd WOMEN* is.....which was his point throughout this whole content. Now that was some typical woman shh ya did there 😂
smh the guy wasn't speaking about society....but then again u had to prove him right
Women are absurd...women! He sad women! Typical woman...hears what she wants...ignores the rest.
"I want to love women like how I love my dogs. My dogs need me but they don't act like they don't."
~Patrice O'Neal
Bill really shows how absurd society really is.
cant be more true than that, hes a real man.
And Dave Chappelle.
Its jokes Dude
@@clintfischer1057 yes but every joke has a truth.
@@mackcummy4976 yes. so lets base our understanding of society on them, shall we ?
That "most difficult job on the planet" bit really had me rolling!
That's how my ex described it when she was home with the kids for the first 5 years. She got to the point where it was "just too much for her"and we switched.
When she left to live with another guy 6 years later, she's telling everyone that she gave me "the EASIEST job on the planet" 🤣🤣🤣
So, by their own admission when it's a mom, it's the Hardest job.
When it's a dad, it's the easiest job.
Is that like admitting that dad's are better at something???🤣🤣🤣
double standards
To be fair the first five years are the tought part. After that kids are basically grown ups.
@@mouche621621 you clearly haven't been around kids much... yes, the waking up crying in the middle of the night part is rough. but entertaining a 6 year old is surely not easier. with the occaisonal emotional fits, aggression, crying, egotrips etc... having a verbal argument with a kid that doesn't undersrand half of what either party is saying but is still convinced that he/she is right... totally easy... you raise your kids from 5 on, before that it's mostly feeding and the first steps, all the emotional work comes after that. in addiditon to running after them, driving them around, clean loads of clothes etc. it get's easier after 10 till puperty(that's a 50/50, so where are the easy years?^^
@@MSRooky350z That's so sad. I have kids. If your 6 year old "doesn't understand half" of what you're saying and is not able to entertain himself something is wrong. He should grab a book if bored, and you should have amazing conversations together, way more often than you end up running after him. I hope it'll get better.
As a woman, I approve this message
Who asked?
@@open_cktyou did now
Nobody cares
Go away woman, where is my sandwich
@@bustamango863 every single one of US care
The #1 lesson I’ve learned in life is that if you aren’t putting 100% effort into raising your family - and getting joy out of it - you certainly don’t need to be putting up with any of the BS Mr Burr has perfectly illustrated. Thank you sir!
I don’t think a comedian besides Dave Chapelle has made me laugh so hard and so consistent as bill. 🤣🤣 absolute legends I love those guys
Patrice O'neal would
Carlin was great.
@@juliof970 Bill was better than those three.
Louie CK is in Bill and Dave's league, imho.
@@juliof970 yeah, George Carlin was amazing! Nice to see a person of good taste!
"Can you believe that marriage didn't work out?!" 🤣🤣
I was looking for this comment. That bit had me dying 🤣
Yeah Kim Jung Un failed in a marriage, who would have guessed 🤣🤣
I would've just said no and looked away. You don't ask me to do anything the way she did.
@@Tdawg93a but then you would've missed the opportunity to expose her for the fraud she is!
@@rokaine7334 how would you use that opportunity?
I know this is gonna piss some people off, but he is dead right about everything he said. For real.
Can’t wait to have my wife watch this. I bet you’re right. It’s gonna piss her off.
Yep
Truth hurts... 🤔😂😎🇦🇺👌
Speaking of motherhood being the most difficult job, my older sister once told me, "I wished I could have learned how to cook like you, but you know, I was too busy raising three kids.".
My reply: "you mean like our mother, grandmother and aunts, plus the million of women before?
What a joke.
The reactions to the tuxedo joke at 4:35 show that he understands women. That one absolutely killed with the women in the audience 😂
I'm a woman but I found myself nodding along over & over.
it's gonna fuckin rust
🤣🤣🤣
There’s hope for ya
Shut up
Make sure you give the balls some attention too
Right after he said "you know, what makes women happy? Nothing" I pressed that like button 😁
Bills funny takes, thoughts, and ideas are based on reality.
His humorous take on things can be therapy for us all to consider and contemplate.
He truly is an entertaining and hilarious artist.
This man is a national treasure and must be protected at all cost.
@FortyFirst Millennial protected from the feminist trying to cancel him.
too late. he married one.
Protected from what exactly?
@@VengefulPolititron I love him more now.
Protected from what?
🤣
“ I thought roofing in July as a redhead was tough” had me rolling!
as a redhead… i approve this true and factual observation … worst job for a redhead ever
@@MrJRYLANDER I'm not a redhead and i can tell you it fucking sucks.
Could you folks break that one down for me? I don't quite understand the joke enough.
@@1597B traditionally, red headed folks are pretty fair skinned and sunburn easily. As a red headed landscaper myself, I can attest to the fact that working outdoors has its challenges. But at least I can find some shade on hot sunny days. On a roof there’s no place to hide!
@@VinnieRed71 Alright, now it makes sense. It's like working in an oven.
George Carlin, Dave Chapelle, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and Bill Burr are all in my pantheon of great social commentary comedians.
All those you named are my personal faves too.
And Patrice Oneal
@@user-le2cg8hw3gcosign Patrice O'Neal, Ron White is another favorite.
Bill Burr ripping hecklers apart! One of the very best!
I love it that the woman on Conan laughed hysterically at him. She didn't get butt hurt- she saw the humor. This was a great 20 minutes of hilarity.
It was a woman?!
Because you'd ruin her reputation if she didn't.
@@pluckybellhop66 I don't even know her, how could I ruin her reputation?
@@user-yc5um2pl5v It was a tough one to determine, because she didn't look much like one, but there were clues that led me to that deduction.
@@pluckybellhop66spot the psycho
“Any job you can do in pajama’s is not a difficult job!” 😂🤣😂🤣
😅😅😅😅ha ha haaaaaaa
I feel like he’s not even trying to be funny he’s just speaking from the heart in a humorous tone
“That’s why they can’t be happy…” 😂😂😂😂😂😂I felt that
This man shares so much wisdom packaged in peak humor, absolutely incredible
When I am looking for something and can't find because she has a better place to put it. I look for it for 3 minutes.
Because I remember where I bought it. Eventually she will run out of good places to put it.
When she asks "Can get can a have a 20 for gas?" No spent it on that thing I could not find..
If he was covered in EVOO, he would make a great enema for an elephant.
Incredible all right 😅😅😅😅😅
Gotta love billy. He’s not referring to all women either just the worst of the bunch. Lowkey a lot of women have realized their hypocritical ways and I respect it fully.
Well no shit it’s not all of em. Ya think people got time to say “not all of them” every time they talk about a group?
@Samuel ..Not Sum-All of Them!!!
Hvn said that lemme add..
Best of luck on this journey 😂😂
@@MaztRPwn damn you’re so intelligent bro my bad I’ll do better
He tells the truth.
Nah I for sure know the type of bitches Bill is talking about 😂 I had a former friend that acted like an overbearing girlfriend. If I didn’t hang out, it meant (to her) that I was mad at her. Insane.
As a married man I can confirm this video is 100% accurate
200% accurate
I am a women and I approved this message!
*woman
“Just because you’re f*ckin the plumber doesn’t mean you know how to plumb” 😂😂
No matter how many times I hear these routines, they never get old! Timeless humour.
Good comedy will always remain so! I think you'd like my comedy playlist. Whenever I re-watch it, it's just as funny as the first time I watched it! :D
I’m a woman and I’m watching this, laughing so hard, I’m. Crying !!!! 😆🤣
Lol, splicing old and new clips was brilliant. Shows how much he's grown as a man and a comedian. Thank you 😂
As a Brit, Bill Burr is new to me, but I identify with almost everything he says. He´s hilarious and now my new favourite comedian after the sad passing of our own Sean Lock.
Sean Lock
Welcome to Bill, Brit.
Sean "I'm on the fence about hitler" Lock 🤣🤣 I still watch as much of his content as I can.
You Brits must be really old to find Bill new. No wonder your comedians are passing.
From a brit.. The best comedian stateside.. For sure!
"A happy man is a happy relationship, a happy woman is a miserable man"
-Patrice
“Anytime you upset a woman you know you’re on the right track”
Truly a rare breed he was. Gone too soon
Wouldn’t it make sense for both of them be happy?
@@sarahfickes9704 women are jealous when the husband is happy... to the point they snap and pull a stunt to stirr drama!🤣
@@peterkoch3777Facts!
That asparagus/pesto line.
I swear I have lived that scenario a few times and he is SPOT ON.
17:34 best moment ever. she laughs when he calls her on what she does.
I wish there were more men like bill.
They're all like Bill, but their wives own their balls.
Woke feminism has neutered them.
@@jaimhaas5170 These men were raised in a world of Wonder Bread, and Lite Beer. They were lied to their whole lives, so they never knew you could possibly say, "I don't enjoy your company anymore, pack your shit and go back to your mother, you are making my life unenjoyable and it is not worth being around you anymore". Beat it.
@jaim haas
Ew.
Wow, so misogynistic jerks?
“Hey Conan, can you believe that marriage didn’t work out?”
That’s probably my favorite.
Don't even know who that actress is, but man she seems a self-aggrandizing type... And then she burst out in the fakest laugh ever at Bill's 'joke' (actually a pretty accurate observation) to cover the humiliation of being put in her place.
Bill Burr is totall hilarious, he is not only funny with the jokes he makes but also because of his style. he's one of the very best!
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
@@DailamiPuang this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
I DID have a perfect marriage. I was blessed. My man was an angel on earth. We clicked on every level. Couldnt get a sheet of paper between us.
@@DailamiPuang😂
Never take a woman back. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”- Maya Angelou
4:26 Everyone who's seen _Titanic_ remembers that guy who fell and smacked the railing on his way down.
Propeller
I laughed so hard and got so many dirty looks for it
Wasn't it the ship's propeller?
@@G31M1 There was a couple but i think the bit hes refering to was when the ship tipps up at the back the ppl start flying down the deck
😪
For years I thought I was gay.
Then realized I just shared Bill’s sentiments.
Effin' Funny!!
I have a female friend who's bisexual. She says women are WAY more emotional work than men.
OMG I never get tired of Bill’s jokes!!!
Bill is the Eminem of comedians. A heckler would have to be off their meds to mess with him.
He does get them from time to time but he roasts them so hard they shit their pants and leave in shame.
you should look up his Philly or Pittsburgh show.
He straight up toasted the audience for his whole entire show because they heckled his opening acts
Except eminem has been trash the last decade
lol dumb comparison
Eminem does what he’s told by his handlers.
Total sell out
This guy is one of the all time greats
Word!
The "its gonna fn rust!" Had me in stitches for some reason😂
Absolutely love the way his sarcasm is not offensive to women in general How many ladies are just having a laugh !
He is sooooo hilarious 😅😅😅😅
It's like a lot of the man bashing. We can recognise the truth in there, even if it doesn't tell the whole story.
He’s so right about women randomly wanting to fill your free time in with a bunch of bs. I could be fixing random things in the house or doing chores and my ex wouldn’t bother me all day, it wasn’t until I was finally done and ready to relax and she’d hear the “BEEP” on the PlayStation and then all the sudden wants to bother me about something stupid like the sound of the beep lit her ears on fire or something
Love this! If I dare take a nap one day because I'm tired from busting my ass, my wife immediately gets some idea about things I or we could do. Didn't come up hours before, but usually just as I doze off.
i means its nice that they wanna do things with us and spend time but theyve got no sympathy for exhaustion. until its their own of course
😂💯
Right my ex would start complaining that I wasn't spending enough time with her even after talking and listening to her for hours. I'd have my headphones on and she would be tapping my shoulder and still trying to talk to me with the volume all the way up lmao😂😂
@@brandonh.6956we would ve arguing everyday. I'd tell her you are not getting every second of my free time. Get a friend or something is what I'd have said.
This guys been on my radar since 2004. It’s great to see him rise to power
🍪
@@adangarza7332 🤣
You shut your mouth Jerry.
I have been waiting decades for a dude like this to come along . Everything he says is the truth . He's f__king AWESOME !!!
The women in the audience thinks he is joking. No, he’s telling the truth
Bill Burr is one of the funniest humans I've ever heard. He tells the truth from an angle most of us don't see.
Don't want to acknowledge
Have you seen the recent Red Rock special. So funny!!!
You could say funniest man. No women are funny lmao.
@@theortheo2401
Actually, my wife is pretty funny, especially when she's making fun of me.
You mean most of them don't see😯
I've finally found a reason to live. Thanks Bill. I'm not insane after all.
you're probably an incel though and Bill is not
@@gb342002 What’s that? You can’t offend me if I don’t get the insult?
And the brainwashed will be considered sane.
@@mikelindellspillow2609 and the offended will be lie and say they aren't. Lol
If listening to Bill Burr gets you to think: “gee, maybe I’m not crazy”, I have some bad news for you….
Conan trying to turn Bill's jokes on their head and Bill ngaf actually puts a smile on my face. 😂
I have three son's and befor they would go out with there friends I would ask them what the rule. "DON'T LET THE LITTLE HEAD DO THE THINKING" !
Bill Burr is a breath of fresh air.
Woman here and I agree with Bill with everything he says about women!! I laugh so hard my tummy hurts 🤣🤣🤣
😂 your where laughing cuz he was talking about you! Hehe
I’m a woman and I find it hilarious too!
@@ModernGoddess81 because he portrays y'all in good light. isn't that right? y'all wouldn't be laughing otherwise
I truly envy your boyfriend or husband because you're the type of women that normal, balanced men want.
My sister can have the TV & radio blaring whilst reading posts on FB & talking to her friend ALL AT THE SAME TIME, but then she remembers nothing 15 minutes later..
I love the fact that women and men are different, otherwise it would be very boring. And then, there's two different kind of people, the nice ones and the others.
Holy F, this is GOLD!
Bill's feminine voice is funny asf 😂
This man has become my inner voice. I’ve watched every special, every late night show appearances, and countless of hours of his podcast. It’s a blessing to have him drop a new pod episode twice a week every week!!
Burr keeps reality in check.
CHEERS to ALL
Thankyou. This is such antidote . People are actually AFRAID TO LAUGH.
Genius. A free mind playing with reality and saying what we all wish we'd said. Hats off to the man.
Hilarious, I related right away when he said you can't have a day off, they will fill it. So unbelievably true
You DO NOT let them dictate your days off. Full stop!
Wife and me
No friend
No facebook
No normal life
Just a GREAT life ❤
F@&$ social life
One life ! No time for bullshito
Great video ❤
I never realized this guy was so funny absolute legend!
Burr and Chappelle are the voices of our generation,.. Beyond the laughs is a wisdom that we all can appreciate. Most of the time they are saying things that we can no longer say ourselves, Laughable and Lamentable at the same time. Only the masters can pull it off. Robin Williams and Richard Prior could do it too.
Maybe you can't, simp boy.
“Like two birds fighting over a French fry.” Lmao.
Outstanding. Just outstanding
You can listen to the stories of a great comic again and again!
So true😂
Bill Burr is one of the honest comics which says it like is. And David Chappelle is the other one.
This isn't stand up comedy to Bill Burr it's therapy.
Finally a man who thinks like I do I didn't know I could get paid for speaking my mind I usually just get yelled at😅
Just wanna flip the whole table over 😂😂😂
Heard all these bits before but STILL laugh like a crazy person when I hear them. Bill Burr is a national treasure.
Ikr!
The titanic argument was incredibly accurate 😅😂
Bill Burr is the only expert on women I acknowledge or respect.
This man should be president!!
As a woman I have to say. I relish alone time and my husband taking off on a weekend hunting/fishing trip. It's alone time luxury!!!
I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools 3 kids and have another on the way. Definitely definitely NOT the hardest job in the world LOL. And I’m not being sarcastic at all. Life is awesome.
Just because you enjoy doing it, that doesn't mean it's not difficult.
The outcome is arguably more important than most careers, as well (raising the future population).
Give yourself more credit.
@@kingayy9267 that’s true I understand what you mean. However for sure it is not the most difficult job!
🏆
@@kingayy9267 patting yourself on the back for nothing like Bill just said lol
I love him! Great comedian, we all should be able to laugh, have humour! People we should not take everything too seriously….
Cant get enough of Bill Burrr , his comedy and vocal performance is just so addictice