My son died 5 weeks ago and I can't stop thinking about him, and all the different scenarios where he might still be alive. Also I'm thinking negative thoughts about myself and blaming myself for not helping him were protecting him. It's extremely hard to live like this
I don’t think there’s any way you won’t be thinking about that constantly just 5 weeks ago such a tremendous loss. I’m going to make some content on grief very soon, I hope it helps ❤️
So sorry for your loss. I Believe when e lose someone so beautiful they become your Angel your strength. I wish you well again I’m so very sorry for your loss. May his love guide you to some peace . I’m really sorry
Its exhausting. After 40 years of building wrong emotional pathways, i just dont have the energy anymore to spend another 40 years to build better ones.
My therapist taught me this: have one or two positive affirmations prepared to replace every negative thought that enters the mind. As soon as that thought intrudes, then stop it with the positive affirmation. It really does work.
I think this is why sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is so therapeutic for me. It helps me focus on the present. This really keeps me focused and away from negative thoughts.
Please listen to me ! My brother took his life in 2017 and I still think of him every day. He lived with me and had many issues and struggles that I was not able to help him with. I suffered tremen guilt when he died. My own mother thought it was my fault ! Try dealing with that ! You need lots of time and self care to get over your loss. Grief is like a roller coaster, and you need to be patient and kind to yourself. I wasn't able to find a grief therapist, so I watched alot of helpful things on youtube. Please know that the pain will ease up in time. Meanwhile, be a friend to yourself. It will help your son, too. It holds them back if we keep punishing ourselves. You're not alone in this dark place. Try to get help if that's possible. I've been where you are now. I'm finally getting free because I'm still here and I need to go on. I wish you peace in your journey. It's not your fault.
Ofcourse it was not your fault!! You did what you were able to do. But he choosed another solution. Never ever blame yourself for anything that another person chooses for him/ herself!!
Amazing that TH-cam algorithm has put this video right on my screen! Among 10,000 videos it picked up this excellent video for me! How incredible is that?
One’s brain creates worn pathways of negativity like a bike cutting corners on a lawn. I’ve learned to intercept negative thoughts when I identify them and force myself to think differently. Recognize and alter. It definitely helps. Sorry if you mentioned this in the video! Good stuff; thanks.
I can be on good pathways, then something happens, like a phonecall or email, and I derail onto bad pathways and its stays like that .. its hard to stay in the right lane.
Mindfulness helped to save me from the alcohol, drug induced , self destruction I put upon myself to try to end it. The guilt and shame was unbearable , yet by living in the "now" I saw a way out , a way to break the cycle. SAME! My trick was thinking of where I was at moment then "zoom" out to larger picture, the clouds, trees , breeze , mountains ...whatever was happening.Sometimes I zoom all the way out till i'm in space near the moon! Still years later I need to re adjust or I begin on my path of Dread and self hatred. Yet I have been almost ridiculed for mentioning this to people , sadly it is not taken seriously, as you mentioned most take it as a spiritual silly waste of time. CPTSD and chronic depression has taught me that we who suffer these are much stronger than we give ourselves credit
I recently had an experience where I felt the sensation of touch first hand. My whole life what I've experienced, but I thought everyone experienced, was a secondary sensation after the mind got the information from the body. That one experience led me to realize that I've lived my entire life, since a series of traumas when I was almost too young to remember, in a state of dissociation. I have many countless pages filled up from the work that I've done trying to understand what I've gone through, to analyze it, and I've realized I can't get to it with my mind. I thought I could not get to it with my mind, I thought it was somatic work I needed to focus on which I intend to absolutely. But what you just said about zooming out, holy shit. 34 years old haven't slept all night sitting on a stool in my bathroom where I hide eating a bowl of fruity pebbles with ice cold milk and suddenly quite literally everything was put into perspective and it was beautiful and perfect unification of my mind analyzing the situation and seeing exactly where my body was. It was me at the same time. In the same place. I don't know how you slipped through the radar, but I do know that I'm glad that for the very first time I cleared my entire watch history last night. I don't understand who the hell you are or how you seem to be explaining things exactly in the way my mind was shaped to understand them, but I will say that even if it was just to get through to me, just me, I am so so glad that you chose to go on. Edit: I also want to say that I'm stuck in The worst freeze I could ever imagine. Eviction notice after eviction notice, unable to get myself to get a job, and I have two kids. It's terrifying saying that here because I'm putting a target on myself. But just in the time frame that I've listened to your videos, I freaking folded pillowcases and organized them. And yes I did celebrate it. And yes I am taking a break. All of my energy goes to taking care of me kids who struggle with their own mental health challenges, so I don't do the things like take care of the laundry so much as other people do. But I did today. I did
that's worth celebrating. seriously. eviction notices are much easier to handle when laundry is folded. i hope you are doing better, continuing to feel more peaceful every day
I've been using a practice I recently learned called Meta. I visualize someone I like and send them love and kindness in a meditative way. It has been so helpful with the awful depression and thoughts of extreme fear I am experiencing. Meta is a form of "mindfulness" from what I understand. Just wanted to share as it really has been helpful!
@@joannalumley211nothing is good or bad unless you belive it so. No need to be afraid when you know who really are and the power you possess. Jesus, Buddah, whoever, all of us are One we are all God. We all have the power within us to heal ourselves. Jesus taught that.
I started doing exercise again after I watched your videos. I was an active teenager but a physical health issue happened and I couldn't walk normally for a few months, it was during covid lockdown as well, and I didn't realize I had truly believed that I would never be able to lift weights or go running again. The negative thoughts led to some dark places and for a long time, I often beat myself up and I didn't think anything would get better. Now I'm changing my diet, doing small exercises every morning, focusing on stretching, yoga, and maybe, I hope to go for long walks or jogging soon. I listened to your videos and your understanding and clear explanation really helped me control and change my negative thoughts. I'll practice to be more mindful. Thank you very much, Dr. Scott.
I’ve had exactly the same, changing my diet and trying to go out training again with a friend and talking about things stressing me out and physical pains that are going on has really helped. Couple weeks ago i’ve also reached out to a therapist so hopefully that will get me out of the dark.
I've just realized that in the last year I learnt a mindfulness technique - I look at the sky. Especially on nice days, it is blue, and I love that color. Looking at plants and trees is also nice.
when I was in a kind. of therapy, cognitive therapy, to learn how to think less negatively about myself, I was asked to write down, in a form when and what I was thinking. I was thinking a lot of negative things about myself, that I was not even conscious about, and when I got conscious about it, it was much easier to change my way of thinking about myself, it really helped me, not to feel as worthless. I found out it was my internalized mother, a bad superego, who taught me during childhood the wrong things about what was the right thing to do. Fortunately I had other rolemodels during my childhood. thoughts give birth to feelings.
I think what i like most about these videos is learning that its natural to catastrophize and all that; theres nothing wrong with me. I just need to learn skills to keep from shutting down, overthinking and all that. And, I can do that 😊.
It is comforting to finally understand that it’s our brain working in survival mode and is it any wonder… with all the hatred, violence and crime we witness in the news or in our neighborhoods? I just thought about how many negative things I see in one day, without even trying. If you turn on a radio or tv or go to your homepage, you’re guaranteed to at least see a 2 second snippet of something very negative. No wonder we’re the way we are.
Gosh this has been the best explanation of why its so hard to get out off the negativity loop..and i was always beating myself for not being more positive because to others from the outside my life looks great cause im financial comfortable, have a great husband etc..sometimes that makes it even harder . Anyhow thanks for gives tthise great tips.
This is so right on. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about the past and many of the feelings I have now are very different from them. Then it was fear and helplessness, now it tends to be anger at those who harmed me. I so appreciate your help with your vids.
thank you so much for your existence...you don't know how much you are helping. It works for me remembering focus my atention where the body reacts when i have anxiety to disconect from my mind and to connect with my body and the present. Also i do a very schedulled routine where is included 10 minutes meditation at morning and 2km walking ❤
This was the best 30 minutes I have spent in years. Are you sure we’ve never met, Dr. Eilers, cuz you know my brain! I call my negative thoughts my monsters, they sit on my shoulders and tell me how unlovable and broken I am, I am in therapy and she helps me a lot, but this video really spoke to me. I can’t wait to watch more. Thank you for doing what you do!
Your vlogs just came up on my feed. I’ve listened to 3 in succession. You are gifted. Content, delivery, style - Excellent. Thanks for teaching these really important understandings of how we think and feel. You have an important, promising future in therapy.
@@DrScottEilersI completely agree. I'm like, bruh, how did you get in my brain. When you talk, sometimes I cringe (in the best way possible) because I know you're gonna reveal me to me... And I don't even know you like that. This is pure balm for the soul. Thank you❤
I’ve listened to probably 85% of the content of 85% of therapists on YT, and I connect with Dr. Scott absolutely the most. Spot on. First time I’ve ever wished I lived in Iowa haha.
Dr Eilers, thank you for sharing your work here on TH-cam. With the way the world looks right now, despite the unprecedented opulence of civilization, it's tough to see the light when looking at society and its inability to appreciate the good.
Hi Dr Eilers from Northern Ireland. I've just found you. Guess what, you came up in my algorithm! I love how you explain thought processes in your videos. This one in particular has been so helpful. This information would cost hundreds in therapy. I'm going to share with a couple of friends who need to hear this as well. Thank you so much for the amazing work you're doing and all the very best in your new business venture. You'll make it work and you'll be brilliant.
Thank you for validating what I experience over and over. Things are great and then suddenly I am literally thrown into an abyss of negativity. The negativity is so bruising and sad that I think I can’t go on living like this.
I am the same. Last 3 days I was in so much mental pain I just wanted to end it. I am 58 and have suffered with panic disorder for almost 40 years. Today for whatever reason I feel better. I just cannot explain it. My depression seems to have a mind of its own, somedays it takes a back seat - others it takes over my mind and convinces me it will remain forever.
Thanks a lot for sharing such a reviving video and I want you to know that you made my day. Knowing that it's just a matter of thought patterns and it's okay to be that way and it's also preventable is really helpful to break the vicious cycle of just being alive in a self created malignant atmosphere where even breathing itself hurts really bad. I would rather get tortured physically for days by someone else than doing this to myself even for a split second. After all those years of ruminating, catastrophising and ruining every joy that my life offers, mindfulness becomes the savior; that's ridiculous.
I'm glad you came around to mindfulness! I learned about it in the 90s to help me with my depression, and I teach it to my clients. There has been a lot of research to show that it helps with depression, anxiety, addictions, OCD, eating disorders. It's a great tool that will work even when not done 'right' and it's free with no side effects.
Parents from my generation are good at this. Re-direction is a miracle for everyone. Roudy children, people with dementia, and many others. But just be careful when helping someone depressed. Gotta go very slow and gentle there! When someone falls, PLEASE let tbe dust settle before helping them up. Folks have to sort of overcome the shock or surprise of what just happens. This takes great patience and empathy. Thanks Dr.!
I’m so glad I found you. You’re right. Stuff piles up on you before you know it. I have too much to list, and now I know what to do thanks to you. The last thing stacked on was losing our house to forest fire. We’re good. We were born with nothing but we were born with enough, so we live grateful that we and our cat are great. But adding to the incredible stress I already had came the added cost of rent and utilities which put me down a road I’d never experienced. I watched your video about being “frozen” and saw myself. Then I watched about “mindfulness”… I, thank goodness have been keeping myself stay in the now every time I slide toward that 3 second journey to the negative. I’m on the road 4 x a day, so in that time I can get haunted but I talk out loud and bring myself back… it’s been the frozen part that’s the worst. I had let myself forget about baby steps . Now I’m back on track. Thank you so much!! I sat up on the couch today😊 I put towels away, and patted myself on the back. I’m on my way🎉👏👏👏
Sooooo glad i found your channel! My sister and i both suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. I've already been employing some mindfulness strategies, and they work amazingly well, but sometimes i forget, so this is a wonderful reminder. Im sending her a link to your channel as well. Much needed advice here. Thank you.
This is a topic that is not done well in the mental health community (counselors, social media creators etc). I’m so relived to see your multiple videos on this particular subject that just guts me and I know so many others. I’ve finally got an action plan and it’s already working. Thank you. I deserve to enjoy the safety and good things I’ve created and not have it constantly stolen from me by my defective thought patterns.
Ruminating on the past and present certainly send me on a downward spiral, you are so right! Great advise as usual. I am about to start reading your book, I think your advise is very practical and clear to understand. Thankyou for the reminder.
I meditate, hike, say affirmations.. 5 minutes later though that dark voice in my brain is back.. If i dont continue to fight it, and try to put myself in a better head space.. Instantly depressed. Im 40, and have been like this my entire life.
You’ll never win a battle with your mind. Don’t fight it….observe it! Yes, it’s hard to do, but stick with it…you can’t ‘fight’ thoughts with more thoughts. Sunny Sharma helps me understand this more.
@WigWamSam7 it is certainly a cat and mouse game with thoughts. I'm still struggling and haven't got any better unfortunately. I'll have to check out Sunny Sharpa, and see if I can find anything that resonates. Thank you friend.
Yes, similar my friend, but we are in a better spot with this tools, prayer medations, hikes, and positive affirmations. Iam 44, you can be your worst enemy or your hero, never quit on yourself. And there we times we do fail, love yourself unconditional we are just humans in the end
The comparison thing is an easy one because EVERY single person has some difficulty they’re dealing with - you just don’t know about it. But if you get to know them, you’ll find out and you’ll be happy you have the difficulties that you have and not theirs. This is 100% the case.
I've been in and out of therapy for 45 years, but your videos are amazingly helpful. I watch and take notes and it is helping me and making sense. I'm up in Minnesota. I appreciate you and wanted you to know! Thank you for everything! I'll continue to be here watching. I'm very grateful for this.
Hi! I learned zooming out 15 years ago, but they called it "observing ego". I think the way you described it was really helpful and easier to understand, and I'll try to practice it more often using your technique.
Zooming Out - I’m trying to get out of “Freeze Zone”. Just found you yesterday and am catching up on videos. I’ve spent years in CBT therapy and a lot of money trying to get a grip on my stubborn brain. Thank you for these suggestions. I will begin immediately as I’ve been paralyzed for about a month now in shut down mode. Thank you so much for the time, effort and willingness to help others. I will be anxiously awaiting future videos and will keep working hard to overcome this funk I’m in.
Amazing content. Life really can be more simple when we just think about whats tangible right now. Not forcing the mind into a state but rather gently suggesting its focus be on something else is so helpful to me, especially because I have OCD. There's so much I think about the past and existentialism and what not and just bringing myself to something tangible (regardless of if it's real or not) can get me out of that thought loop and into something more peaceful. You're saving lives with your content, potentially including mine. I'm 20 and feel like its over already. So much I ruminate about the past and feel guilty and ashamed and so much I fear what's to come but mindfulness kind of shows me that while I can't prove anything, I still have other things I can willingly direct my focus towards. Sometimes if I'm near crisis stage it means splashing cold water on myself to bring me immediately back. These skills are so valuable. Thank you so much again.
Thank you for this information. I'm going through a divorce after a forty year marriage and my whole life and identity has changed. I no longer have financial security , a life partner, my family, even the self I thought I was. Everything has felt terrifying lately. I wake up at 5:00 a.m. everyday with anxiety, panic and fearful thoughts that I have trouble shaking. This information that you have shared will help me have some tools to try to release some of these scary thoughts and to understand them. I really appreciate the help. Thanks again.
Me too.... 27 years - from whom I thought was my best friend. I know the terror you are describing. I learned somatic experiencing in therapy and it helped me with the morning terror so do some searching and read about it. I also pray every day for quite a while. I hope this helps and please know you are not alone.
Exactly the video I Need to watch right now. But am not ready too. I’m not ready to deal with the memories and emotions of loss that come. It’s wonderful when your able to have a councillor who understands you and knows exactly how to help. It amazing when you’ve had the person for 19 yrs. I knew one day that that person would not be in the position. I knew it because one day I would not need the help as before and would have stopped with they service. I had never thought that it would end because he had passed and I didn’t know. I found out by trying to look up their new practice and finding an obituary instead. Found you and some other docs on youtube who are amazing. The hard part is your methods and delivery are so similar and bring back all the advice and sessions. So if there one lesson to learn do not be like me and have one person as your councillor for more then a few years. No matter how hard you try not to get close it happens, as they become the person you go to for help. Which having one person like your family doctor sounds great, it is. It also leaves a gap if something like this happens. It makes a blessing into a curse.
This is exactly what I've been looking for. Two thoughts that I can use throughout the day to avoid depression. What do I want to remember about this moment, and, What are the signs that all is well. I've learned lately that my depression is of my own doing and that it is up to me to change my thinking. I came from a very depressed home life. I remember, even as a boy, the periods of heavy depression. I've suspected that my depression is a learned behavior. Now, I have these two golden tools to use to make new paths for my brain.
You are the absolute best channel ive ever found and when im.so low as i am now your videos recently have been my obly way to keep going. I've struggled to want to go on for the better part of the year but also my life has been littered w severe anxiety and depression
Oh my gosh you are going to be so successful... I found you today. Since a child, I have had to refocus to what is in the moment...it absolutely works, can be exhausting at times to keep redirecting your thoughts, but more exhausting to think the negative.
Thank you, I needed this, I’m going through it right now. My brain seems hardwired to just make me want to, well, stop existing as a natural effect of the amounts of sunlight in the Swedish autumn and winter. This means that Sweden is not an ideal place to live when you’ve got my kind of brain. My problem with mindfulness is that I’ve had it pushed on me as a “cure-all” by healthcare professionals who certainly believed they’d found the magic cure for everything. As I’ve got autism and ADD alongside the depression, it’s not very easy for me to practice mindfulness. It feels like the “margins” of my “mental space” are shrinking, so it’s getting more and more narrow and things that I used to enjoy are no longer fun and the list of stuff I still enjoy is still shrinking day by day. So I get overwhelmed very easily, and run out of energy much faster. I’d like to find something that actually works in the long term, if it exists. I’ve tried every SSRI and am now on an SNRI medicine that used to work but now seems like it has no effect. Sorry for the wall of text, things are rough. Thank you for your videos, they are more helpful than a lot of other things people have told me through the years.
Me too. Anything i try either doesn't work or works maybe 2 weeks then stops and never starts back. The only thing that helps at night is the Buddhist technique "nowhere to go, nothing to do" where i give myself permission to not bother with anything including thoughts that may even be important during the day. Observe wandering thoughts but don't bother to pursue. It can buy some peace late at night.
I’m a psychiatric nurse and I wish you were one of my teachers. So much useful information that would not only help patients but pretty much everyone! Thank you!
I do think that as well, its a pain, like you say got to keep pushing it out, Thank you for the info about how to keep focased on keeping it out!! What do I want to remember, that is what I am going to do from now on. Thank you so much, yet again. 😊
Hi Dr Scott. I'm So looking forward to each new podcast. I am starting to practice what u suggest and feeling better and better. Not so sad and depressed You are So Smart and Caring. Don't stop.
in 17:40, with the explanation of how we focus on danger, I got severe chronic GAD, my brain works in such a way where even the most positive things in life can be perceived as threatening. for example even if I'll get my dream job instead of just being happy about it all i would think of is me losing it, me fucking it up ect... and that kinda applies to everything in my life in such a way. Also it acts as a self fulfilling prophecy too, because it will ultimately make me too anxious to function and lock me up in a freeze response. Maybe i've conditioned myself subconsciously somehow to process everything through that lens, definitely a very hard habit to break, it's like it's my default thinking pattern. Thank you for this video!
Thank you for this! This fine tunes how I understand what I do to try to keep myself on the right path. I will light an incense which helps me to relax and think about the sent or think of my dream vacation spot. I'm 67 and can fall into an old family bad situation train of thought which I then "file it away" or "sweep it off the table" to get it out of my mind. Hearing about how the brain works from you helps me even more to keep the thoughts moving the right way! Thanks!
@@patriciamharris5664 I try to tip the scale a tiny bit , all I can. Once it starts getting heavier on the positive side, it gets even easier. But the first step is a doozy
Thank you again. I am watching a lot of your videos this weekend and learning the rationale (the why helps me to latch on to a habit) of new strategies and other that I have been aware of but not adopted regularly.
I keep having memories of things that happened years ago, that I haven't recalled for decades. Wow it's amazing, because those are things I buried away, as they were negative experiences. I realize I am going through chronic pain lately and I find it's really limited my ability to get things done. This creates fear that I will end up helpless. I need a hip replacement and that requires dental clearance and a physical clearance. Most places keep giving me appointments a month or more away and it won't be done in time for my operation. They say you recover quickly after a hip replacement but it seems hopeless to get the requirements done. I really hate going to any doctor because I have medical trauma from having doctors cause damage.
Ty for all your videos there very helpful. You are very aware of whats happening to our brain and I am very greatful. You are very good at what u do. I love being aware but sometimes if you don't have the right coping skills being aware don't help so ty for providing some coping skills along with the information.
This is very helpful, thank you! I won't go into detail of my own thing, but you are very insightful, and I will try this. Your advice for breaking a depression spiral was also incredibly helpful, for those of us who can't afford/find an actual therapist.
You Described Mindfulness & It's Benefits Quite Well ( & I've, Incidently, Been Through The FULL DBT Skills Class Three Different Times)...You Also Make Me LAUGH!! Thank You!
Thank you so much for your insightful content. Your podcasts have been lifesaving for me. Less than a month ago, I had a very devastating breakup. I'm still thinking back to all the negative emotions about that relationship, like hurt, anger, grief, disappointment. However, your videos really helped me, especially this one. I found myself redirecting my loops of negative thoughts to the present and the positivity in my life more easily with your tips about mindfulness. The next part may be triggering for other readers, so I put some space here. . . . . . . . . . . . I've had Bipolar Disorder for 6 or 7 years, so the breakup with a friend I'm really emotionally invested in, during this time when I'm doing my PhD research, hit me really hard, to the point that I developed a strong active S I. I found myself in the ER for overdosing on my meds. Back then I was such a mess and thought about self-harm so many times. Then, I found your videos as I'm browsing for some videos. I watched many of them that felt relatable to me. I just went back to my psychiatrist for follow-up today, and she said it was good for me to be able to get back on my feet this fast, and of course it's with your help. I bought your book and I'm looking forward to reading it. Thank you again for saving me. I believe you have also saved many people with your profession, podcasts, and your book.
Dr. Eilers, I can't thank you enough for these thoughtful strategies when addressing the problem of minds that tend to focus on the minutiae of situations. I feel like you are sharing cutting-edge therapies here and for free! Wow! ❤😊
I just seen this video now and what a blessing because I’ve been falling through a downward spiral from stress and ptsd and stuck in bed fatigued and non stop crying, just going through a bit of a crisis atm. 😢 I got triggered recently from a few things all at once 😢😢😢 this video makes me feel like im not alone cauae when stuck in the spiral you feel like the only person goinf through it 😢
Studiovega I can identify. It s really really difficult, BUT, it won t last forever, it will pass. I promise. Get up outta that bed, go for a walk, or, sit on your porch, if you have one,, nature helps, I promise ❤
Chanced upon your vids and love the cogent and simplistic explanations. Another way mindfulness question can be framed include what value, usefulness does those negative thots have on the present moment...
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My son died 5 weeks ago and I can't stop thinking about him, and all the different scenarios where he might still be alive. Also I'm thinking negative thoughts about myself and blaming myself for not helping him were protecting him. It's extremely hard to live like this
I'm so sorry for your loss 🩷
I don’t think there’s any way you won’t be thinking about that constantly just 5 weeks ago such a tremendous loss. I’m going to make some content on grief very soon, I hope it helps ❤️
@@DrScottEilers thank you very much
So sorry for your loss. I Believe when e lose someone so beautiful they become your Angel your strength. I wish you well again I’m so very sorry for your loss. May his love guide you to some peace . I’m really sorry
@@user-kn4vi9mt7b thank you
What I like about this therapist is that he has genuinely had major depression so he is very relatable.
Absolutely! He’s walked the walk. He understands. I trust him because he’s been in our shoes.
Its exhausting. After 40 years of building wrong emotional pathways, i just dont have the energy anymore to spend another 40 years to build better ones.
My therapist taught me this: have one or two positive affirmations prepared to replace every negative thought that enters the mind. As soon as that thought intrudes, then stop it with the positive affirmation. It really does work.
Yes, I'm working on same!
I think this is why sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is so therapeutic for me. It helps me focus on the present. This really keeps me focused and away from negative thoughts.
Same
That's a good one. Nature really puts you in the present
Yeah but at the moment I hate all noises it just does my head.
Before depression loved to listen.
I can recall conversations from 30 years ago, what I should have said, what I shouldn’t have said……all at 3am!
Not just you ❤❤❤
I get super frustrated when such pathways get activated in midnight....like for God sake let me sleep peacefully for once😪
Please listen to me ! My brother took his life in 2017 and I still think of him every day. He lived with me and had many issues and struggles that I was not able to help him with. I suffered tremen guilt when he died. My own mother thought it was my fault ! Try dealing with that ! You need lots of time and self care to get over your loss. Grief is like a roller coaster, and you need to be patient and kind to yourself. I wasn't able to find a grief therapist, so I watched alot of helpful things on youtube. Please know that the pain will ease up in time. Meanwhile, be a friend to yourself. It will help your son, too. It holds them back if we keep punishing ourselves. You're not alone in this dark place. Try to get help if that's possible. I've been where you are now. I'm finally getting free because I'm still here and I need to go on. I wish you peace in your journey. It's not your fault.
Ofcourse it was not your fault!! You did what you were able to do. But he choosed another solution. Never ever blame yourself for anything that another person chooses for him/ herself!!
You are a very good doctor. Thank you for creating these videos and putting them online.
Dr. Scott, I promise you that you’re going to become even more successful in your life. You are helping many many people.❤
Amazing that TH-cam algorithm has put this video right on my screen! Among 10,000 videos it picked up this excellent video for me! How incredible is that?
Yes, it is incredible that technology is spying on you and getting to know your deepest thoughts ect.
One’s brain creates worn pathways of negativity like a bike cutting corners on a lawn. I’ve learned to intercept negative thoughts when I identify them and force myself to think differently. Recognize and alter. It definitely helps. Sorry if you mentioned this in the video! Good stuff; thanks.
I can be on good pathways, then something happens, like a phonecall or email, and I derail onto bad pathways and its stays like that .. its hard to stay in the right lane.
Mindfulness helped to save me from the alcohol, drug induced , self destruction I put upon myself to try to end it. The guilt and shame was unbearable , yet by living in the "now" I saw a way out , a way to break the cycle. SAME! My trick was thinking of where I was at moment then "zoom" out to larger picture, the clouds, trees , breeze , mountains ...whatever was happening.Sometimes I zoom all the way out till i'm in space near the moon! Still years later I need to re adjust or I begin on my path of Dread and self hatred. Yet I have been almost ridiculed for mentioning this to people , sadly it is not taken seriously, as you mentioned most take it as a spiritual silly waste of time. CPTSD and chronic depression has taught me that we who suffer these are much stronger than we give ourselves credit
" What do I want to remember most about this moment" awwwww that is bittersweet❤💔❤️
Some of this explains why i can't remeber half of my childhood and younger years : my attention waz not in that moment, i was too stressed
I recently had an experience where I felt the sensation of touch first hand. My whole life what I've experienced, but I thought everyone experienced, was a secondary sensation after the mind got the information from the body. That one experience led me to realize that I've lived my entire life, since a series of traumas when I was almost too young to remember, in a state of dissociation. I have many countless pages filled up from the work that I've done trying to understand what I've gone through, to analyze it, and I've realized I can't get to it with my mind. I thought I could not get to it with my mind, I thought it was somatic work I needed to focus on which I intend to absolutely. But what you just said about zooming out, holy shit. 34 years old haven't slept all night sitting on a stool in my bathroom where I hide eating a bowl of fruity pebbles with ice cold milk and suddenly quite literally everything was put into perspective and it was beautiful and perfect unification of my mind analyzing the situation and seeing exactly where my body was. It was me at the same time. In the same place.
I don't know how you slipped through the radar, but I do know that I'm glad that for the very first time I cleared my entire watch history last night. I don't understand who the hell you are or how you seem to be explaining things exactly in the way my mind was shaped to understand them, but I will say that even if it was just to get through to me, just me, I am so so glad that you chose to go on.
Edit: I also want to say that I'm stuck in The worst freeze I could ever imagine. Eviction notice after eviction notice, unable to get myself to get a job, and I have two kids. It's terrifying saying that here because I'm putting a target on myself. But just in the time frame that I've listened to your videos, I freaking folded pillowcases and organized them. And yes I did celebrate it. And yes I am taking a break. All of my energy goes to taking care of me kids who struggle with their own mental health challenges, so I don't do the things like take care of the laundry so much as other people do. But I did today. I did
that's worth celebrating. seriously. eviction notices are much easier to handle when laundry is folded. i hope you are doing better, continuing to feel more peaceful every day
Hallelujah....you are on your way. Xx
Take it one baby step at a time. You will walk yourself out of this. I believe God will help you...🙏
I've been using a practice I recently learned called Meta. I visualize someone I like and send them love and kindness in a meditative way. It has been so helpful with the awful depression and thoughts of extreme fear I am experiencing. Meta is a form of "mindfulness" from what I understand. Just wanted to share as it really has been helpful!
Yes, it's really so helpful. The imagination can be a great friend.@@katl2888
Very dangerous. Unhealthy practice this. Go to speak out loud to Jesus. He’s the One, ultimately Who can help.
However this content IS good.
@@joannalumley211nothing is good or bad unless you belive it so.
No need to be afraid when you know who really are and the power you possess.
Jesus, Buddah, whoever, all of us are One we are all God. We all have the power within us to heal ourselves.
Jesus taught that.
I never thought I’d find another human whose inner conversation is exactly like mine. Wow. Thank you. 🙏
I started doing exercise again after I watched your videos. I was an active teenager but a physical health issue happened and I couldn't walk normally for a few months, it was during covid lockdown as well, and I didn't realize I had truly believed that I would never be able to lift weights or go running again. The negative thoughts led to some dark places and for a long time, I often beat myself up and I didn't think anything would get better.
Now I'm changing my diet, doing small exercises every morning, focusing on stretching, yoga, and maybe, I hope to go for long walks or jogging soon. I listened to your videos and your understanding and clear explanation really helped me control and change my negative thoughts. I'll practice to be more mindful. Thank you very much, Dr. Scott.
I’ve had exactly the same, changing my diet and trying to go out training again with a friend and talking about things stressing me out and physical pains that are going on has really helped. Couple weeks ago i’ve also reached out to a therapist so hopefully that will get me out of the dark.
I've just realized that in the last year I learnt a mindfulness technique - I look at the sky. Especially on nice days, it is blue, and I love that color. Looking at plants and trees is also nice.
when I was in a kind. of therapy, cognitive therapy, to learn how to think less negatively about myself, I was asked to write down, in a form when and what I was thinking. I was thinking a lot of negative things about myself, that I was not even conscious about, and when I got conscious about it, it was much easier to change my way of thinking about myself, it really helped me, not to feel as worthless.
I found out it was my internalized mother, a bad superego, who taught me during childhood the wrong things about what was the right thing to do. Fortunately I had other rolemodels during my childhood. thoughts give birth to feelings.
I think what i like most about these videos is learning that its natural to catastrophize and all that; theres nothing wrong with me. I just need to learn skills to keep from shutting down, overthinking and all that. And, I can do that 😊.
Laurie
DITTO🎉🎉🎉❤
Really notice when it is. 😊
It is comforting to finally understand that it’s our brain working in survival mode and is it any wonder… with all the hatred, violence and crime we witness in the news or in our neighborhoods? I just thought about how many negative things I see in one day, without even trying. If you turn on a radio or tv or go to your homepage, you’re guaranteed to at least see a 2 second snippet of something very negative. No wonder we’re the way we are.
Plz don't stop making these videos!! Best of thousands Ive heard. Cried bc it connected. Plz don't fall off channel. God bless you. TY💞🙏🏼💞
You don’t have to worry about that; I’m in this for the long haul 😁
Gosh this has been the best explanation of why its so hard to get out off the negativity loop..and i was always beating myself for not being more positive because to others from the outside my life looks great cause im financial comfortable, have a great husband etc..sometimes that makes it even harder . Anyhow thanks for gives tthise great tips.
This is so right on. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about the past and many of the feelings I have now are very different from them. Then it was fear and helplessness, now it tends to be anger at those who harmed me. I so appreciate your help with your vids.
thank you so much for your existence...you don't know how much you are helping. It works for me remembering focus my atention where the body reacts when i have anxiety to disconect from my mind and to connect with my body and the present. Also i do a very schedulled routine where is included 10 minutes meditation at morning and 2km walking ❤
This was the best 30 minutes I have spent in years. Are you sure we’ve never met, Dr. Eilers, cuz you know my brain! I call my negative thoughts my monsters, they sit on my shoulders and tell me how unlovable and broken I am, I am in therapy and she helps me a lot, but this video really spoke to me. I can’t wait to watch more. Thank you for doing what you do!
I love the analogy of thinking and the algorithm. It makes a lot of sense. Thanks for the video!
My pleasure!
Your vlogs just came up on my feed. I’ve listened to 3 in succession. You are gifted. Content, delivery, style - Excellent. Thanks for teaching these really important understandings of how we think and feel. You have an important, promising future in therapy.
Thanks, that means a lot to me!
@@DrScottEilersI completely agree. I'm like, bruh, how did you get in my brain. When you talk, sometimes I cringe (in the best way possible) because I know you're gonna reveal me to me... And I don't even know you like that. This is pure balm for the soul. Thank you❤
I’ve listened to probably 85% of the content of 85% of therapists on YT, and I connect with Dr. Scott absolutely the most.
Spot on.
First time I’ve ever wished I lived in Iowa haha.
Dr Eilers, thank you for sharing your work here on TH-cam. With the way the world looks right now, despite the unprecedented opulence of civilization, it's tough to see the light when looking at society and its inability to appreciate the good.
I absolutely love your casual, relatable analogies. So fitting. Excellent. Just excellent.
There is NO WAY that you will be broken and unemployed by next spring, you are way too good!!!
A good video! It is not easy to think mainly of the present when you are faced with past severe trauma, and worry about the future.
My life is genuinely perfect.
My problem comes from looking for problems or generating them. It’s like I crave instability, fear, dread etc.
Helpful that you say WE as it makes you one with your client.
You are real.A wounded healer.
That relates well.
Hi Dr Eilers from Northern Ireland. I've just found you. Guess what, you came up in my algorithm!
I love how you explain thought processes in your videos. This one in particular has been so helpful. This information would cost hundreds in therapy.
I'm going to share with a couple of friends who need to hear this as well.
Thank you so much for the amazing work you're doing and all the very best in your new business venture. You'll make it work and you'll be brilliant.
Wow, thank you!
Thank you for validating what I experience over and over. Things are great and then suddenly I am literally thrown into an abyss of negativity. The negativity is so bruising and sad that I think I can’t go on living like this.
I am the same. Last 3 days I was in so much mental pain I just wanted to end it. I am 58 and have suffered with panic disorder for almost 40 years. Today for whatever reason I feel better. I just cannot explain it. My depression seems to have a mind of its own, somedays it takes a back seat - others it takes over my mind and convinces me it will remain forever.
@@maryportfcFocus on the positive things and try to stay focused on the present. It really does work. Take good care of you.💞
The information and your explanation are great! This is now one of my favorite subscriptions!
Awesome, thank you!
Thanks a lot for sharing such a reviving video and I want you to know that you made my day. Knowing that it's just a matter of thought patterns and it's okay to be that way and it's also preventable is really helpful to break the vicious cycle of just being alive in a self created malignant atmosphere where even breathing itself hurts really bad. I would rather get tortured physically for days by someone else than doing this to myself even for a split second. After all those years of ruminating, catastrophising and ruining every joy that my life offers, mindfulness becomes the savior; that's ridiculous.
I'm glad you came around to mindfulness! I learned about it in the 90s to help me with my depression, and I teach it to my clients. There has been a lot of research to show that it helps with depression, anxiety, addictions, OCD, eating disorders. It's a great tool that will work even when not done 'right' and it's free with no side effects.
Parents from my generation are good at this. Re-direction is a miracle for everyone. Roudy children, people with dementia, and many others. But just be careful when helping someone depressed. Gotta go very slow and gentle there! When someone falls, PLEASE let tbe dust settle before helping them up. Folks have to sort of overcome the shock or surprise of what just happens. This takes great patience and empathy. Thanks Dr.!
I’m so glad I found you.
You’re right. Stuff piles up on you before you know it.
I have too much to list, and now I know what to do thanks to you.
The last thing stacked on was losing our house to forest fire. We’re good. We were born with nothing but we were born with enough, so we live grateful that we and our cat are great. But adding to the incredible stress I already had came the added cost of rent and utilities which put me down a road I’d never experienced.
I watched your video about being “frozen” and saw myself. Then I watched about “mindfulness”… I, thank goodness have been keeping myself stay in the now every time I slide toward that 3 second journey to the negative. I’m on the road 4 x a day, so in that time I can get haunted but I talk out loud and bring myself back… it’s been the frozen part that’s the worst. I had let myself forget about baby steps . Now I’m back on track. Thank you so much!! I sat up on the couch today😊 I put towels away, and patted myself on the back.
I’m on my way🎉👏👏👏
Sooooo glad i found your channel! My sister and i both suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. I've already been employing some mindfulness strategies, and they work amazingly well, but sometimes i forget, so this is a wonderful reminder.
Im sending her a link to your channel as well. Much needed advice here. Thank you.
This is a topic that is not done well in the mental health community (counselors, social media creators etc). I’m so relived to see your multiple videos on this particular subject that just guts me and I know so many others. I’ve finally got an action plan and it’s already working. Thank you.
I deserve to enjoy the safety and good things I’ve created and not have it constantly stolen from me by my defective thought patterns.
Ruminating on the past and present certainly send me on a downward spiral, you are so right! Great advise as usual. I am about to start reading your book, I think your advise is very practical and clear to understand. Thankyou for the reminder.
I meditate, hike, say affirmations.. 5 minutes later though that dark voice in my brain is back..
If i dont continue to fight it, and try to put myself in a better head space.. Instantly depressed. Im 40, and have been like this my entire life.
I hear ya... you are not alone. I just wanted to say that... you are doing the right things. Step by step. 💪 🙌
You’ll never win a battle with your mind. Don’t fight it….observe it!
Yes, it’s hard to do, but stick with it…you can’t ‘fight’ thoughts with more thoughts.
Sunny Sharma helps me understand this more.
@WigWamSam7 it is certainly a cat and mouse game with thoughts. I'm still struggling and haven't got any better unfortunately.
I'll have to check out Sunny Sharpa, and see if I can find anything that resonates. Thank you friend.
God's truth in the Scripture is my anchor--actually says 'take your thoughts captive and make them obedient to God's truth'...2 Corinthians 10:5
Yes, similar my friend, but we are in a better spot with this tools, prayer medations, hikes, and positive affirmations. Iam 44, you can be your worst enemy or your hero, never quit on yourself. And there we times we do fail, love yourself unconditional we are just humans in the end
The comparison thing is an easy one because EVERY single person has some difficulty they’re dealing with - you just don’t know about it. But if you get to know them, you’ll find out and you’ll be happy you have the difficulties that you have and not theirs. This is 100% the case.
Thank you for everything you do
Thanks!😊 your ability to break down the nuance of mental health is very useful in living everyday day life.
Thank you Ronald!
I've been in and out of therapy for 45 years, but your videos are amazingly helpful. I watch and take notes and it is helping me and making sense. I'm up in Minnesota. I appreciate you and wanted you to know! Thank you for everything! I'll continue to be here watching. I'm very grateful for this.
I love music. I find that sitting and just enjoying music helps me stay present, basically a mindfulness technique.
Hi! I learned zooming out 15 years ago, but they called it "observing ego". I think the way you described it was really helpful and easier to understand, and I'll try to practice it more often using your technique.
Thank you!, Dr Scott. This is what I needed this morning.
Zooming Out - I’m trying to get out of “Freeze Zone”. Just found you yesterday and am catching up on videos. I’ve spent years in CBT therapy and a lot of money trying to get a grip on my stubborn brain. Thank you for these suggestions. I will begin immediately as I’ve been paralyzed for about a month now in shut down mode. Thank you so much for the time, effort and willingness to help others. I will be anxiously awaiting future videos and will keep working hard to overcome this funk I’m in.
Lots more to come!
Just found him the other day too regarding freeze zone. 👧
Amazing content. Life really can be more simple when we just think about whats tangible right now. Not forcing the mind into a state but rather gently suggesting its focus be on something else is so helpful to me, especially because I have OCD. There's so much I think about the past and existentialism and what not and just bringing myself to something tangible (regardless of if it's real or not) can get me out of that thought loop and into something more peaceful. You're saving lives with your content, potentially including mine. I'm 20 and feel like its over already. So much I ruminate about the past and feel guilty and ashamed and so much I fear what's to come but mindfulness kind of shows me that while I can't prove anything, I still have other things I can willingly direct my focus towards. Sometimes if I'm near crisis stage it means splashing cold water on myself to bring me immediately back. These skills are so valuable. Thank you so much again.
Thank you for this information. I'm going through a divorce after a forty year marriage and my whole life and identity has changed. I no longer have financial security , a life partner, my family, even the self I thought I was. Everything has felt terrifying lately. I wake up at 5:00 a.m. everyday with anxiety, panic and fearful thoughts that I have trouble shaking. This information that you have shared will help me have some tools to try to release some of these scary thoughts and to understand them. I really appreciate the help. Thanks again.
Why are you divorcing your husband?
Me too.... 27 years - from whom I thought was my best friend. I know the terror you are describing. I learned somatic experiencing in therapy and it helped me with the morning terror so do some searching and read about it. I also pray every day for quite a while. I hope this helps and please know you are not alone.
Exactly the video I Need to watch right now.
But am not ready too. I’m not ready to deal with the memories and emotions of loss that come.
It’s wonderful when your able to have a councillor who understands you and knows exactly how to help. It amazing when you’ve had the person for 19 yrs. I knew one day that that person would not be in the position. I knew it because one day I would not need the help as before and would have stopped with they service. I had never thought that it would end because he had passed and I didn’t know. I found out by trying to look up their new practice and finding an obituary instead.
Found you and some other docs on youtube who are amazing. The hard part is your methods and delivery are so similar and bring back all the advice and sessions.
So if there one lesson to learn do not be like me and have one person as your councillor for more then a few years. No matter how hard you try not to get close it happens, as they become the person you go to for help. Which having one person like your family doctor sounds great, it is. It also leaves a gap if something like this happens. It makes a blessing into a curse.
This is exactly what I've been looking for. Two thoughts that I can use throughout the day to avoid depression. What do I want to remember about this moment, and, What are the signs that all is well. I've learned lately that my depression is of my own doing and that it is up to me to change my thinking. I came from a very depressed home life. I remember, even as a boy, the periods of heavy depression. I've suspected that my depression is a learned behavior. Now, I have these two golden tools to use to make new paths for my brain.
You are the absolute best channel ive ever found and when im.so low as i am now your videos recently have been my obly way to keep going. I've struggled to want to go on for the better part of the year but also my life has been littered w severe anxiety and depression
Oh my gosh you are going to be so successful...
I found you today. Since a child, I have had to refocus to what is in the moment...it absolutely works, can be exhausting at times to keep redirecting your thoughts, but more exhausting to think the negative.
I want to learn the consistency of doing the redirecting thoughts...
So glad I found your channel, very helpful on lots of levels. Thank you x
You are so welcome!
Thank you, I needed this, I’m going through it right now. My brain seems hardwired to just make me want to, well, stop existing as a natural effect of the amounts of sunlight in the Swedish autumn and winter. This means that Sweden is not an ideal place to live when you’ve got my kind of brain.
My problem with mindfulness is that I’ve had it pushed on me as a “cure-all” by healthcare professionals who certainly believed they’d found the magic cure for everything. As I’ve got autism and ADD alongside the depression, it’s not very easy for me to practice mindfulness. It feels like the “margins” of my “mental space” are shrinking, so it’s getting more and more narrow and things that I used to enjoy are no longer fun and the list of stuff I still enjoy is still shrinking day by day. So I get overwhelmed very easily, and run out of energy much faster. I’d like to find something that actually works in the long term, if it exists. I’ve tried every SSRI and am now on an SNRI medicine that used to work but now seems like it has no effect.
Sorry for the wall of text, things are rough. Thank you for your videos, they are more helpful than a lot of other things people have told me through the years.
Yeah it is definitely not a “magic pill” rather one tool of what will likely need to be many in order to make substantial progress ❤️
Me too. Anything i try either doesn't work or works maybe 2 weeks then stops and never starts back. The only thing that helps at night is the Buddhist technique "nowhere to go, nothing to do" where i give myself permission to not bother with anything including thoughts that may even be important during the day. Observe wandering thoughts but don't bother to pursue. It can buy some peace late at night.
Dr. Elles , you are great and doing well, thank you and God bless you!
Thank you kindly!
I’m a psychiatric nurse and I wish you were one of my teachers. So much useful information that would not only help patients but pretty much everyone! Thank you!
Thanks so much, Doc. That last question really got me. I'm going to try as best I can to use that.
This is such a helpful video. You explain things so well. Thank you for posting and all the great content you put out!
Hands down one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever watched
Thanks!
Thank you so much Tessa!
I do think that as well, its a pain, like you say got to keep pushing it out, Thank you for the info about how to keep focased on keeping it out!! What do I want to remember, that is what I am going to do from now on. Thank you so much, yet again. 😊
Hi Dr Scott. I'm So looking forward to each new podcast. I am starting to practice what u suggest and feeling better and better. Not so sad and depressed
You are So Smart and Caring. Don't stop.
in 17:40, with the explanation of how we focus on danger, I got severe chronic GAD, my brain works in such a way where even the most positive things in life can be perceived as threatening. for example even if I'll get my dream job instead of just being happy about it all i would think of is me losing it, me fucking it up ect... and that kinda applies to everything in my life in such a way. Also it acts as a self fulfilling prophecy too, because it will ultimately make me too anxious to function and lock me up in a freeze response.
Maybe i've conditioned myself subconsciously somehow to process everything through that lens, definitely a very hard habit to break, it's like it's my default thinking pattern.
Thank you for this video!
Thank you for this! This fine tunes how I understand what I do to try to keep myself on the right path. I will light an incense which helps me to relax and think about the sent or think of my dream vacation spot. I'm 67 and can fall into an old family bad situation train of thought which I then "file it away" or "sweep it off the table" to get it out of my mind. Hearing about how the brain works from you helps me even more to keep the thoughts moving the right way! Thanks!
Wow! The best explanation I’ve heard. I’m gonna try this tonight. My mind keeps me awake for hours every night.
I'm starting to understand why I keep that awful loop in my head going, thank you, I recently subscribed and think you are great.
Ditto... same loop.. there is hope❤
@@patriciamharris5664 I try to tip the scale a tiny bit , all I can. Once it starts getting heavier on the positive side, it gets even easier. But the first step is a doozy
Dr. Scott.
This video on mindfulness strategies was incredibly helpful and insightful. Thank you for sharing this with the world.
Thank you again. I am watching a lot of your videos this weekend and learning the rationale (the why helps me to latch on to a habit) of new strategies and other that I have been aware of but not adopted regularly.
I’ve been thinking positive my whole life because I’m happier that way even with all the hard times.
This is some of the most useful info on the subject I've ever encountered. Thanks
My new favorite doctor, thank you.
You said it--dangerous to not be present. Much more gripping take on the issue.....
I keep having memories of things that happened years ago, that I haven't recalled for decades. Wow it's amazing, because those are things I buried away, as they were negative experiences.
I realize I am going through chronic pain lately and I find it's really limited my ability to get things done. This creates fear that I will end up helpless. I need a hip replacement and that requires dental clearance and a physical clearance. Most places keep giving me appointments a month or more away and it won't be done in time for my operation. They say you recover quickly after a hip replacement but it seems hopeless to get the requirements done. I really hate going to any doctor because I have medical trauma from having doctors cause damage.
Excellent explanations and tools. Identify with everything you're saying. Thank you for sharing, very helpful.
Great advice. Can't afford to 'stay still' or 'tread water'. Thanks for the encouragement.
Love this! Great analogies and explanation. Great motivation and strategy to change.
Thanks!
Thank you!
Ty for all your videos there very helpful. You are very aware of whats happening to our brain and I am very greatful. You are very good at what u do. I love being aware but sometimes if you don't have the right coping skills being aware don't help so ty for providing some coping skills along with the information.
Wow, thank you
Your videos are lifesaving...thank you.
You're helping people on autopilot with these vids.
Hi Dr. Scott! New sub from Brazil. I'm binge-watching your videos. They're touching my heart so much. Thank you. 🩷
Glad you like them!
You're so helpful I want to cry in gratittude.
Wonderful technique the zooming out! Thank you.❤
Brilliant podcast! Thank you for the helpful techniques that I'm planning to practice in near future. Great content, as usual.
As always, your content is INVALUABLE!
This is very helpful, thank you! I won't go into detail of my own thing, but you are very insightful, and I will try this. Your advice for breaking a depression spiral was also incredibly helpful, for those of us who can't afford/find an actual therapist.
You Described Mindfulness & It's Benefits Quite Well ( & I've, Incidently, Been Through The FULL DBT Skills Class Three Different Times)...You Also Make Me LAUGH!! Thank You!
Wonderful!
Been watching your videos. I now recognize that i have active si. So I'm going to get help. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your insightful content. Your podcasts have been lifesaving for me.
Less than a month ago, I had a very devastating breakup. I'm still thinking back to all the negative emotions about that relationship, like hurt, anger, grief, disappointment. However, your videos really helped me, especially this one. I found myself redirecting my loops of negative thoughts to the present and the positivity in my life more easily with your tips about mindfulness.
The next part may be triggering for other readers, so I put some space here.
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I've had Bipolar Disorder for 6 or 7 years, so the breakup with a friend I'm really emotionally invested in, during this time when I'm doing my PhD research, hit me really hard, to the point that I developed a strong active S I. I found myself in the ER for overdosing on my meds. Back then I was such a mess and thought about self-harm so many times. Then, I found your videos as I'm browsing for some videos. I watched many of them that felt relatable to me.
I just went back to my psychiatrist for follow-up today, and she said it was good for me to be able to get back on my feet this fast, and of course it's with your help. I bought your book and I'm looking forward to reading it.
Thank you again for saving me. I believe you have also saved many people with your profession, podcasts, and your book.
You are not alone. Sending you love.
Dr. Eilers, I can't thank you enough for these thoughtful strategies when addressing the problem of minds that tend to focus on the minutiae of situations. I feel like you are sharing cutting-edge therapies here and for free! Wow! ❤😊
I just seen this video now and what a blessing because I’ve been falling through a downward spiral from stress and ptsd and stuck in bed fatigued and non stop crying, just going through a bit of a crisis atm. 😢 I got triggered recently from a few things all at once 😢😢😢 this video makes me feel like im not alone cauae when stuck in the spiral you feel like the only person goinf through it 😢
Studiovega
I can identify. It s really really difficult, BUT, it won t last forever, it will pass. I promise. Get up outta that bed, go for a walk, or, sit on your porch, if you have one,, nature helps, I promise ❤
you’re kind of sort of saving my life.
after my daughter estranged me 3 years ago i was pretty sure i was losing my mind.
Chanced upon your vids and love the cogent and simplistic explanations. Another way mindfulness question can be framed include what value, usefulness does those negative thots have on the present moment...