I agree. It's fascinating to watch. Situations like that easily gets out of hand. And Kody is like a bomb, emotional but also a bit irrational. No control. Janelle balances him nicely. Both her and Christine have really had to step up to the plate acting like adults. Relatively cool, calm, collected. No doormats. Effective communication. I wonder if they have discussed the best way to deal with Kody? Being prepared is important when dealing with hotmess express. Dealing with Kody is like working on the ER, lol. They surely outgrew him. Wonder if Kody can be embarrassed by his own behavior?
But isn't that part of the problem, people holding their tongues? Maybe they should have tried to speak their hearts but I get it probably didn't feel safe to do so. Kody always sides with Robyn.
I think every time she holds her tongue she’s shutting down that relationship. It’s like literally watching a woman mentally leaving her husband one argument at a time.
I honestly don’t think it’s admirable. I think if the wife’s would’ve spoken up sooner it wouldn’t have gotten to this point. I sure wouldn’t have let her come into my life and family and talk the way she does, it’s absolutely astounding the way she thinks she can insert herself and spout bull shit, but it’s because they all allow it
💯 agree... also not controlling his emotions and anger, and just lashing out, standing up, getting in someone's face, yelling, etc is abusive. No one has any idea what he will do next when he is exhibiting those signs. It's fear inducing, and intimidating. That's abusive... so I do disagree with the statement made on the video that he isn't abusive. He is.... time we look at abuse beyond calling names and being physical
Thank you for saying this, I am concerned that a professional doesn't seem to recognize abusive behavior or justifies it. He also seems to forget the behavior we see is Kody "behaving". Imagine what he is like when the cameras aren't around. I was uncomfortable with Kody's body language just when he got up and started walking past Jenelle tearing up paper and tossing logs on the fire. It felt like he couldn't be physical to her so he took it out on something else, I would have been very threatened were I Janelle.
I also agree. He is abusive. He withholds love and affection from not only his wives but his kids as well. He demands unquestioned loyalty and respect while he disrespects everyone around him. My heart breaks for those kids.
First it was the state of Utah. Then it was Meri. Then it was Christine. Then it was Garrison and Gabe. Then it was Janelle. Then it was Covid. Then it was Sister wives. Then it’s his daddy. Now it’s polygamy’s fault. When will you take accountability for your own actions, Kody? 🙄
What? Telling your wife that you were never attracted to her, never loved her, belittling her, being uncaring toward your shared children, and showering another person with affection in front of her certainty is abusive behavior!!! Emotionally and mentally. Can’t believe you say you see no abuse.
The fact that he doesn't see the abuse stuns me. I agree with 99% of what he says. That statement though.... he is dead wrong. Hopefully it's because he is looking at it from. Too much of a clinical perspective vs experience perspective
I believe that Kody has tried to physically intimidate Janelle. His posture, standing over her, leaning in aggressively at dinner are all attempts at intimidation
Listen to your wife. Women know women. You commented that Kody is not adjusting his behavior, which is odd considering the outcomes. The results are desired. Therefore he does not change his behavior. Forget what Kody is saying; look at his behavior. He is pushing each wife away so he "doesn't quit." They do. Two are gone, and one keeps hanging on. He aggressively encourages Meri to move on. He wants one wife, Robyn. He has his home, his children, his and their money. He and Robyn orchestrated all of this in a long game. This is not a man "trying to hold his family together."
THIS!!! The only reason he is going through the motions is because Robyn wants it and she will make his life h#ll if he doesn't look like he wants it too.
I think it is critical to watch previous seasons to make a call on abuse. He is emotionally abusive and withholds attention and affection to manipulate.
I agree. Watch it from the beginning! See how it worked with 3 women that shared. What a conception! HE KNOWS WHAT SHE NEEDS!!! Come regularly like you did before, live with us, have a relationship with the mother, your wife! This is what SHE needs! Quit saying you don’t know what she needs. You know you know.. . I think it is more about money with Cody. He wants her back for the money she brings in. Robyn’s But children are old enough that she should go to work. The other ladies left newborns.
They have not spoken about Thanksgiving why would they think Janell and children would be coming??? Why haven’t YOU told them, it is your place man buck up, reach out. Yes you are the only one that sees that as a betrayal! YOU call them big boy! What you said is spot on, but he should not feel betrayed as he hasn’t done anything to help!!! Buck up man, stop acting like a child! Kody has not been vaccinated!!! I think he is absolutely abusive!!! He has abused his wives and HIS children. And he got covid!!! Can we keep talking please? UGH, can YOU share please? Not really on the huge sacrifices!!! You seemed to be just fine with Robyn and her children and no one else! This show started out interesting. . . At this point it is not! Give Janelle and Christine a show! I am sick of this one.
If Kody & Robyn want the kids to come to his house for Christmas why didn’t he or Robyn proactively invite the kids to his house. Robyn could have reached out to unite the family by inviting them for the holidays
Thank You!! Janelle isn't trying to drive a wedge between them, the kids all just want to get together! "Kody's trying to hold the family together 🤡" Excuse me what? lol
You seem to have forgotten that Kody not only made up his own rules. He wanted his daughters/sons to give up their jobs/partners stay home whilst only he visited whilst he and Robyn had a nanny and the nanny's husband coming in and out of their McMansion. He said Robyn wipes down all the mail/shopping but when Janelle took Robyn a birthday gift she kept Janelle outside whilst opening the parcel then taking it inside without the "wiping down" obvious lie she'd made up
I love your wife SHE UNDERSTANDS AND READS in between the LINES when rrrrobyn is actually trying to say because she is always the victim and Kody points the family problem and blames his other children!
I think she's hoping she'll end up the only wife left and he'll come back to her. The second he laughed at her and said he doesn't want a relationship with her, I hope she was so furious that she will finally leave him.
Wow. I’m amazed that you feel Kody is not abusive. His incessant need to control, gaslighting, triangulation, alienation/withholding affection , etc are all forms of abuse. I would also say he has put them all (except maybe Robyn) through the IDD cycle. Sadly, your line of thinking is what keeps women trapped in domestic violence situations. They are led to believe that unless they are hit or called names, they aren’t really being abused. Or worse, their abuser just needs some understanding and support.
Kody and Robyn are a great match bc they’re both so dramatic; and I fully believe they rehearse this stuff before the meetings. I cannot take Robyn’s crying with no tears the whole episode
Those two are going to annoy the shit out of each other once the other wives are all gone. The only reason why their relationship works is because they can use the other wives as scapegoats and workhorses.
I'd really like it if you and your wife went back to Season 1 and did a complete re-watch after the three tell all episodes are over. I think it would be good to go back and see how much Kody's attitude has changed over the years, because it has. Also, right from the beginning Robyn was crossing lines and asking Kody not to tell the other wives, like with her wedding dress. Kody went with her to pick hers out and she knew the other wives would be upset so she asked him to keep it a secret. Interesting to watch it all back from the current perspective.
I agree with this so much. I put season 1 on in the background the other day while I was working and I was so shocked at how different he was. I know I’m we only saw a little bit of their true lives, but you can see it just in his body language. Kody is a shit actor. There was genuine love and affection toward Meri,Janelle and Christine back then. You can SEE the difference, regardless of what they say out loud
I agree I think perhaps Meri knows that if she just hangs in there, once the TLC contract ends, Robyn will leave She's only in the marriage for the money and fame, and she'll leave when it ends.
She did for sure. I watched some other videos talking about how she found out about the browns going on tv and she was all about money. If Robyn wanted the family to work she would have been different
Remember how Janelle gave half of her proceeds and so did meri to help kody and robyn buy their big home in Flagstaff. Kody manipulated that maneuver. They owe Janelle and meri a lot of money. I agree that robyn joined family initially for monetary benefits. The Brown family paid off her big debts when she joined the family. I believe robyn is upset because the wives are leaving because their income will be diminished drastically. Robyn and kody will need to go to work. That's probably why he's kept meri around and didn't come out and say all those years that their marriage was completely over. He kept her around because she made a lot of money with her clothing business. Janelle mentioned she was the bread winner of the family for years, then at the end of this last season she says she has nothing for herself. It's all kodys financial Manipulations.
Yup. She was 100% loyal to Kody, the kids, and the wives (especially Christine). But being truely loyal includes HONESTY. Being honest about what's really going on and what her needs are. If Kody had just listened to her and been willing to work w her and their kids she'd still be there. But Kody for as much as he whines about loyalty doesn't want it. He wants UNQUESTIONING OBIEDENCE. He wants to be fully in control and doesn't want to even just hear other opinons. He thinks he should just be given control & respect even tho he has done NOTHING to earn it. I think Kody got used to Robyn's unquestioning obidence and started to think that it was loyalty. It isn't. But he's forgetting that Robyn has a very different marriage than his other wives. She has his affection, love, attention, monetary support, and he's a father to ALL her children- including the adults. Robyn is willing to do whatever to maintain this life for her & her kids, which means blowing as much smoke up Kody'd @ss as possible while crapping on her sister wives. Which is ironic because she DOES want the big family and the best real estsate in the best heaven. She is self sabatodging just to please Kody and doesn't seem to realize it. Meanwhile why would ANY of the original 3 stay? Kody is a crap husband, he gives zero affection or attention and just thinks they should live in a dead marriage. But he still wants control of them- ironically if he at least gave them independance at least Janelle might've stayed. And he's a terrible father to his other kids. If he was willing to do right by ALL his kids I doubt we'd be here. AND he's screwing them money wise!! They could at least work together for the business & future family. But NOPE. He just wants them to send him checks w/o rver getting the homes or financial security he promised. If Kody had done ANYTHING to return her true loyalty & commitment to their family we wouldn't be here.
My thoughts on the big house. It would also be A LOT cheaper than the separate rental and mortgage payments. It also removes Kody's excuse of avoiding wives he doesn't like. It's going to be really hard to ignore his "marriage" to Meri, if he's seeing her on the daily.
Kody has a history of punishing his wives when they do things he doesn't like. Robyn doesn't get treated that way but the other three have experienced it. He withholds affection/love until they submit. I'd shut down around someone like that too
I think most married people complain to each other about friends and family. The difference is my husband never repeats what I say and more importantly he realizes I am venting and upset in the moment. Kody, you complain that you don’t feel “safe” with Christine, Meri and Janelle but it’s clear you haven’t created a safe space for them because you repeat every word uttered in private, among a million other reasons.
I have a theory...I believe he started adopting this autonomy/me time/have my own house nonsense when he was leaving Vegas because he was turning 50 and the normal stuff was happening to him as it does to any middle aged man. Lacking testosterone and age were getting in the way of him performing like a husband with three wives to satisfy and 18 children to feed. It doesn't work. He chose Robyn to love and care for in that time because he no longer had anything to give to women he felt platonic toward. His children, because they are smart, noticed it and stared to mention it to their Mothers....The Mom's didn't need to exploit him, he did it on his own.
Your wife almost made me choke laughing when she said, "Kody we're all talking about you behind your back". I wish you would have done a watch along with her all season. She's great. Love your videos.
Robyn can communicate with Kody because she is the ‘golden wife’ that feels safe with Kody and she is the only wife Kody listens to. If you examine all the recent meetings with Kody & wives, the expressions on all the wives are the SAME at each meeting. The fear and reluctance for the wives to speak is caused by interacting with and experience with communicating with a narcissist. NO ONE wants to be the target of the narcissistic rage that can happen at any moment.
Exactly, Robyn is the only one who is allowed to say something. And that's only because she says what Kody wants to hear. If she ever spoke against Kody she would get the same treatment as the other wives, and quickly learn that it's just not worth it.
@@Clutching.My.Pearls Yes to what all the above comments say! And...her tactic will only work until there is no one left to blame around them. Then...boom...it will be her turn.
When Isabel wanted to see Kody he wouldn’t even talk to her distantly in the backyard because it was “too cold” according to Kody. He couldn’t talk to her inside because of covid. 🙄
But he can ho officiate a friend's wedding, MASK FREE, and try to river dance around a room full of people! He's so disgusting and pathetic, and a worthless excuse for a father!
I find Kody to be verbally abusive when he "talks" to Janelle. He lives in his own world where everyone is against him if they don't agree with him. He needs to acknowledge the pain he has created with HIS children. Stop making excuses own up to his mistakes and be ready to truly listen to what his children have to say.
You’re so right, but it will never happen. This poor excuse of a man is too weak to see anybody else’s needs or his damaging way of being a husband and father. He’s never been either!
Oh I agree - makes me CRAZY every time Robin interprets what Kody just said in front of Mary and Janelle as if to make it more acceptable. THANK YOU- it’s absolutely absurd that she feels the need to do this so often.
I cannot imagine having this huge rift with my child and not picking up the phone and asking to meet and resolve it. And then he tells Janelle not to communicate for him?! So he puts the entire thing on the kids, such an absolute ass. Kody felt blindsided by Christine leaving because he expected her to do what they all do, which is put up with his behavior no matter how appalling it is. He's still got Meri hanging around, so he expected Christine to do the same and be in the same kind of loveless fake marriage.
Four solitudes around a picnic table. Meri tells Kody to stop saying that he knows what these women think. He doesn't. Robyn wants to know if anyone else is leaving. Meri speaks in code to Robyn with Kody and Janelle sitting right there even though they say they want open and honest communication. Kody doesn't want Meri's support and he doesn't say so. Robyn says she remained silent so that she would not intimidate Janelle and Kody to her opinion. Intimidate? Not going to happen girl ...Ugh. When Robyn does speak, Kody isn't listening to what she says either. Janelle was the only one being honest. She tells all of them that she is not sure that it is worth the effort to 'fix' this and stay. She feels that she is being forced to choose between her children and Kody. Janelle will always chose her children. Every mother will chose her kids. Robyn would chose her kids too. Not what Robyn wanted to hear but it needed to be said. It's disturbing that Robyn is going to be upset that Janelle chooses her kids when it is the same decision that she would have made.
Kody is DEFINITELY 100% abusive. Let me try to explain how. 1. If there were no outside observers/cameras documenting Kody's continual story changes/hypocricy/finacial manipulations... and you just met him and heard his current story of the day, he could sound resonable, honest, sincere, and heartfelt about his realistic needs not being met. A couple's counselor would take him seriously (as if not a narcissist) and maybe even take his side trying to help the wife understand and help him more. The wife would know the behind the scenes stuff...where she has contributed 99% of the effort for 25 years and he's a whiny, angry, stunted baby who always needs more, never is appreciative, and whose story always changes to meet his desire or manipulation of the moment to turn themselves into the victim while the real victim gets ignored. But because of the way narcs can present themselves, the counselor often JOINS the narc storyline and tries to work on the non-problematic partner who once again will try to jump through more hoops to solve the supposed problem that was never their problem to begin with, adding MORE of a burden to their giant pack. That's a form of TRIANGULATION ABUSE covert narcs LOVE and use with everyone outside the relationship to ruin the reputation of their victims. Kody TRIED to do that with all us viewers, to talk smack about how much Christine blindsided poor innocent him and robbed him of his asset, and broke his heart. The ONLY REASON no one is BUYING it is because there are 16 seasons of evidence making his claims laughable. But in REAL LIFE, with no evidence, he would have gathered MANY FLYING MONKEYS to help him attack Christine and would have destroyed Christine's reputation by him playing the victim outloud to others...while the real victim tries to be fair and kind and accept part of the blame which often makes them look guilty. 2. Despite just being emotionally stunted toddlers, boy, do they sure know how to PHYCHOLOGICALLY MANIPULATE to milk a person's empathy until they have gained ALL the financial resources one way or another. Some are smarter than others in how they do their con job, so their effectiveness varies but the attempt is always there. FINANCIAL ABUSE/manipulation/control to get their own way. They can do it BECAUSE they lack empathy for others point of view, so they don't deeply consider anyone else's need except their own which turns abusive in a partnership even if it only stemmed from total unawareness like Kody...it leaves the one who cared and helped the narc stranded when it comes time for the empathetic one to need help. There isn't true reciprocity. Like Kody "helped" Janelle with her trailer which seems nice...but it is just a cover to make him look good WHILE HE STEALS HER LIFE SAVINGS. You could say it was her fault from bad choices, but narcs FUTURE FAKE, so he was always implying he'd be there for the wives in future and implying they'd have their own assets etc. So he LIED to MANIPULATE the wives into giving up resources based on the marital TRUST they had in him. But you CANNOT trust a narc AT ALL. When you think they can't sink lower, they do. Remember Kody is containing his narc rage because there are cameras that keep him in line. 3. He GASLIGHTS ALL THE TIME. It is because the narcs GENUINELY see themselves as the victims or twist reality to fit that lie, so to them, they're just sharing their reality but it is 180 degrees off base. Gaslighting is the MOST HORRIFIC form of ABUSE, worse than physical violence. It is the foundation they lay to break a person down enough over time to get them to the point of accepting physical violence as the next logical step. Without gaslighting being involved, most people will not tolerate violence towards themselves. Again, with Kody we laugh it off because as we WITNESS it extetnally, he looks idiodic and crazy because of the evidence to all publically. Behind closed doors, with no evidence, a partner continually shifting reality, slowly over time WARPS your own mind! It confuses you about up from down because in the beginning, they do NOT act like that and earn your trust...from a trusting place, isolated with only them, they start telling you up is down, jokingly insulting you, playing victim so you get on the habit of helping them, telling you one thing while doing another, hiding their cards from you. In just 4 years with a covert narc (worse than Kody by far), I lost my awesome career, my hair turned grey and began falling out in giant clumps from stress, I lost my self-esteem and confidence, gained 40 lbs, I began having anxiety attacks, I lost my retirement fund, I went into a depression so deep that I didn't smile or laugh for over a year. (I had been a very happy, positive, health conscious person who excercised, ate well, went dancing and kayaking weekly, had healthy friendships, healthy family, was well set financially etc). In just 4 years, I couldn't recognize myself in a mirror and he never laid a hand on me and rarely swore at me. Just using the same tools Kody uses... (except he was a better con man), he wiped me OUT. I escaped several times within those 4 years but his cries and pleas and promises of change sucked me back in. Finally I got a divorce, moved cross country, and blocked him fully but I've been in recovery for 2 years and I still consider it a blessed day when I can laugh at something or put together a healthy meal. Recovery is no joke because I have to rebuild EVERY PART of my life that he destroyed while lying to me. Janelle and Christine will make it seem pretty easy because they will still have financial resources from the show money coming in and brands they can partner with. Outsiders I tried to go to for help that were like you and your wife made it SO MUCH HARDER on me because being tricked by a narc makes you an easy flying monkey. I tried telling pastors begging for help and they'd meet him, my hubby would quote scriptures and be charming and so the pastors would think he was a great guy and team up with him to imply I needed to not complain. I needed to see what his needs were etc. They just had no clue what I was begging for help for. I got out on my own, thank God, but I still feel that the poorly trained counselors and pastors were part of what made it take so long to escape...and part of why I lost everything. They helped gaslight me just from ignorance of how coverts operate. It still BUGS me that you can't truly grasp it yet. But I understand why you and your wife, as healthy people, don't grasp it. Before I married my charming narc, I had NO IDEA how the brains of these people work. I had NO IDEA what they were capable of while seeming like innocent, lovable, capable, charming people. Sigh. It matters for your clients that you learn this. These sneaky snakes get away with murder in business/homes. For real. Look at Chris Watts...covert narc. If he didn't screw up the murder details, no one would have suspected him. Nice family supportive guy right? He never beat her and maybe never screamed obsenities. Hahaha...a simple lack of empathy can allow for HORRENDOUS evil to be done. Don't let Kody's bumbling sweet idiot surface demeanor fool you about the abuses he has inflicted on his wives. They will recover faster and easier than most will because they have the backing of people who see his lies, they will have 17 seasons of evidence for themselves to rewatch, and they will have financial options. It doesn't play out that way for most people who escape narcs.
1000%! Thank you for sharing your story, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Therapists with this level of ignorance are dangerous for their patients
@@jennymarty3112 Awww, thanks for reading and understanding my long essay. I feel such compulsion to try to better educate therapists/pastors about this cuz soooooooo many narcs spin circles of deception around them and they have NO IDEA what is REALLY going on and end up heloing the abuser abuse. Normal people try to be "fair" and "understand both people's side" of an issue equally, while not understanding that narcs are NOT operating in our "normal" reality at all. Their side is often utterly a made up fabrication or the dellusion of their own disorder, there is no "middle ground" or fair "compromise" with a narc no matter how lovable they seem...their utter envelopment in ME ME ME makes it impossible for anything else to exist. They're only being nice if it serves their image or gets them supply, they're only being mean when it serves themselves or their agenda of manipulation, they are NOT NORMAL. You cannot deal with them in a normal way. Just like some people who have been molested in childhood develop a creep-meter and can pick out a perv in 10 seconds upon first meeting, people who've been abused by a narc (and seen through it/are healed) can USUALLY sniff them out quickly and point out the signs and know what to do. It's rough for therapists who want to help people but don't have a good "sniffer" developed and don't know what to do to nip the situation in the bud. Sigh. I'm working out my own unfinished business by still trying to get through to the "helpers" who maybe can't be helped until they go through something similar themselves because it's abnormality makes it SOOOOO hard to understand for normies.
@@ChristianOne yep, they twist and distort reality and constantly change the goal posts so you are never living up to their expectations. And they learn how to abuse better by going to therapy if the therapist is ignorant, they pick up the lingo and use it as a weapon in their con. This is why Kody is now is using terms like “narcissist” “gaslighting” (a better narc or smoother operator so to speak would be able to pull this off better than Kody does, but he still tries). They simply regurgitate terms and ideas they hear others using, but use it against them or twist them in a way that benefits the narc. Once you see it, it’s so painfully obvious! Best wishes on your healing journey 💕 I pray David and other therapists try to better educate themselves so they can help their patients
@@jennymarty3112 I 1000% agree with you. Sounds like you kmow it all well yourself, so I am sorry for what you went through. No one truly knows what it's like unless they've lived with one of these psychos.
I read your entire post and agree. You are well educated in narcs and abuse. I think you would have got more "likes" if your post wasn't so long. It's and educational post. Much success in your journey
So, I love this set up with a commentary including a woman's perspective, especially your wife- she's got great insight. As a therapist, seeing the current SW dynamic is really interesting. I think you guys are missing the fact that Janelle has been working hard to keep all that is happening from happening. Of course she's fed up! And she'll stay checked out until Kody and Robin get honest with themselves.
I agree they should have finished the conversation, but I don't blame Janelle for leaving. She was ambushed. The sit-down was advertised as an opportunity to see her house plans and turned into a talk about her marriage. If they want to get real and be honest with each other, they need to start by getting each other to agree to the conversation, not spring it on one another.
Agreed and why are all the talks about their marriages done so I front of Robyn and Meri, it’s non personal, and disrespectful. Why do they have to address Robyn instead of Cody?
I agree. This was supposed to be about the plans. Janelle is homeless and per Kody has to get Meri and Robyn’s approval for her plans. She is also on a time crunch and Meri is rarely around. For her Christine bashing is a waste and Robyn’s passive aggressive nonsense was both annoying, dismissive of Janelle, and incredibly selfish
This guy is EXACTLY what is wrong with many therapists. Kody IS abusive. He doesn't have to hit his wives or children to abuse them. Anyone who buys into the concept of "everyone needs to accept blame in a relationship" has never been married to a malignant narcissist. This guy's approach to being in an abusive relationship is what keeps many of us trapped in them for so long. When the therapist we reach out to for HELP is partially blaming us for our abuse, we shrink back and accept that we brought it on ourselves. Then we stay for way longer , taking even more abuse. This guy gives Robyn and especially Kody WAY too much credit. It is what it is, doc - ABUSE. And Janelle needs to get out just like Christine did!!
Completely agree! It is a missed opportunity to educate on narcissistic abuse. Dismissing Kodys behavior as “emotionally immature” or “Kodys anger is normal but he is angry about the wrong thing,” leads people to believe that abusers can change or worse, need patience and understanding.
We need a spin-off of just Christine and Janelle. Meri is regretting divorcing Kody so he could marry Robyn. Robin was looking for a meal ticket, and she got it. If Meri doesn't realize she is not married to Kody after this season, and leave, there is no hope for her. Every other plural family now has learned: Don't bring in a Robyn grenade or your family with blow up, destroyed.
I would love to see Meri leave Kody and do a lot of therapy, it could be a whole series! Meri could be a powerhouse if she could just sort out her baggage!
The issue I have with Robyn being such a good communicator is why hasn’t she done it all along? She knew what was happening in the family and let it happen. (Or was making it happen) why want to fix it once ppl are fed up? Christine was so vocal about what she wanted and how unhappy she was but when she decided to leave, THEN Robyn wants to do something? It just seems so planned, so deliberate.
But I don't like how he doesn't see Janelle. Janelle is tired so tired of kody and Robyn BS. She doesn't want to try....why? It's been years and nothing has changed
I remember on past episodes Janelle and her kids tried to communicate with Kody and Robyn but got shot down. Now all the sudden Kody and Robyn want the communication. Its like Janelle has tired of trying.
The problem with Kody’s protocols was it was going to keep Janelle from her adult kids and keep Christine from her adult kids. It was only easy for Robyn because all her kids stayed home.
Janelle has been told she either becomes like Robyn or Kodi is done with her. She has said she is not going to become Robyn. So there is nothing left to say.
When kody is asked if robyn is the favorite wife? He hates being asked cuz he knows its true.kody and Robyn used the other women for money Janelle leaves only meri left to be used.
I disagree with Kody not being abusive. I was in an abusive relationship for 38 years. It’s not always physical abuse there’s verbal abuse. A verbal slap down or I’m not being heard because I’m disregarded constantly and lose my voice because of it. It makes you start to feel afraid to speak up. Also he’s verbally intimidating and psychologically and emotionally abusive as well. He gaslights so that others will question their reality and he has a favorite wife. None of it is healthy for anyone of the other and wives. I think when you put it all together it’s abusive in my opinion. And although I was physically abused the mental, emotional and verbal were just as powerful as the physical.
WHY is everyone loosing sight of the fact that Cody said he needed Meri to go forward with Coyote Pass. In a previous episode. That is about Meri's money .
My take was that Janelle and her children rented the place when they thought Kody needed an apology before they would see him Christine and some of her kids are coming later. They extended their rental to accommodate that.
If Kody really wants to spend time with his children and wives, why does it matter where they gather? The children are coming to Flagstaff. Is it too inconvenient for Kody to leave his house to go to meet them in Flagstaff? It's sad that his desire for 'Loyalty' and obedience is more important than repair and nurture his relationships with his children and simply spend time with children and wives.
If Robin cared as much for the family as she says, and she knows Janelle's boys think she is the problem she should have contacted the boys to see if she could make peace.
Noooo…Kody insisted that Janelle MUST set the talk with other wives to discuss building and her plans…so when Kody and Robyn hijacked the “talk”….Janelle insisted on saying what she came to say….
I hate how Robyn is probably the only one able to disagree/challenge Kody without him feeling he needs to "punish" her. Yet, she never speaks up for anyone else unless it makes her look good or benefits her. Meri is saying she's wanting to fight for this and Kody doesn't want to get in the ring. Robyn acknowledges this but doesn't speak out because she can't be bothered
Exactly! Janelle believes that the only time this family really functioned together was when they lived in one house in Utah. She agreed to the big house in the hopes of getting back to that.
But I hear alot of die heart fans that say that the House in Lehi was great. Meri wouldn't let the kids in her part of the house (the main part) That Chrisinte was down in the basement not happy. Janelle worked but also her and Meri did not get along.??? I could not even imaged if they did have the one house now.......
The ideal situation was Las Vegas. Perfect distances, kids could run from house to house, everyone had space and when necessary togetherness. KLUELESS needed to make Robyn happy because Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff and Robyn needed to be near him. So the other wives git screwed.
Yeah that's narcissism. They do the destroying them play victim. They never ever want to be wrong even when they're being evil. It's sad but they are just monstrous and will even through their kids under the bus to be seen as the victim in every situation they create.
I’m sorta uncomfortable with the statement that bc he hasn’t hit her or called her names then he isn’t abusive. I thought we didn’t judge abusive behavior by such a narrow standard. I know that was said specifically about Kody in this context, but that’s not the best thing for someone who may be in an emotionally abusive situation to hear. Manipulation and neglect are also abusive.
Agree! People WHO has been abused by a narcessist cant go to a Terapheut! They cant see it, they are not trained to see it. They have other thing they see… Robyns Good questens - But now why She Ask them! Its importen to sort out!
Kody and his “near death experience” infuriates me. I, like many, was truly ill with Covid. I was hospitalized, on oxygen at home, then had bronchitis. I coughed for months, lost half my hair, lost lots of weight. And it wasn’t near death. He makes my skin crawl!
It’s so infuriating! I had a near death experience a decade ago, and I still have ptsd from it and was never as dramatic as that lunatic! Lol, I had covid a bit worse than him (but better than you dealt with, glad you’ve recovered!) and was so happy that I wasn’t dying lol they hardly took me seriously when I ended up in the er. Then they were surprised by how upbeat I was, but I was like hey at least I’m not dying. Because I had been so scared of covid since surviving septic shock all those years ago, I never want to need respiratory assistance ever again. But to hear and see that guy acting like that really was upsetting to see.
@@jcam5064 so sorry what you went thru years ago. After I was so sick for months, I’m now pretty paranoid abut getting sick again. It kicked my butt! So I can imagine how you feel. My first husband (I remarried 5 yrs after he died) died of brain cancer at 52. So Kody’s antics are horrible on so many levels. He has no idea what suffering really is. Glad you’re doing well!
Robyn never lived in a plural household, she is lying when she says she wants that type of life because her actions speak louder than words, bad acting or fake crying.
I think she is from a plural household. I'm sure her Mum was a second wife from what I've seen and she saw how her Mum was always treated differently to her Dad's first wife and that affected her.
Robyn doesn’t want Janelle to build because she wants all the land for her kids. So it’s deflection. She also enjoys frustrating what other wives want. Considering Janelles last house and her 401k went into Robyn’s house you would think she’d be grateful. Users are never grateful they just expect more.
I so look forward to this with you both now. Fan from the U.K. here. I know you both have busy real lives but would love to see you guys go off on Sister Wives from season 1. I would love to see what your take on it. Xo
Robyn may have communicated a lot, but she didn't foster good communication. Good communication is about exchanging information and making everyone feel heard. If Robyn had replaced just one of those, "Janelle, let's please keep talking" with a "Kody, please stop yelling", Janelle may have felt heard. But instead, even as Kody yelled at her, Robyn only addressed what Janelle could do better (stay). Robyn was essentially saying, "Janelle, please sit there while Kody yells at you because it's more important that you stay than that you get to speak or to feel heard".
I think the biggest reason that they are unable to address the underlying issues is because Robyn is at the core of many of the family's problems. The other wives have to tiptoe around Robyn, and if Christine, Meri or Janelle even mention Robyn's name in a critical way, Robyn will start crying, and Kody will isolate the other wives even further for hurting her feelings. Janelle, Meri and Christine have all addressed Kody's favoritism in confessionals, but none of them are allowed to bring it up in front of the group without Robyn having a meltdown and Kody throwing a tantrum. The conversation never progresses past that point, and you can see the exasperation in Meri and Janelle's faces. You'll notice that while Kody and Robyn talk about these abstract ideas of "loyalty", "coming together" and "addressing issues", they never give ANY concrete examples of what they think is needed to fix the family dynamic. Robyn and Kody are intentionally vague, so even if the wives follow their arbitrary "rules", they can keep moving the goalpost and make excuses as to why they still aren't acting like a family. We see this in the fact that Meri followed all of Kody's Covid protocols, and yet she still wasn't allowed to visit with Kody, Robyn, or their kids.
I felt sorry for Janelle when she showed him the apartment..she was near to tears because all he did was find fault. Nothing Janelle does is good enough
He’s very materialistic. It’s sad how Robyn makes fun of her and how her kids follow her lead. Janelles money was absorbed by Kody and Robyn after Janelles retirement. So now Janelle has to go out and work more because of her being duped.
1. Janelle wanted to talk about her house and had a meeting for that. Robyn hijacked it to talk about her issues, although she knew how important that topic was for Janelle. There is nothing admirable or right about that. If Robyn and Kody wanted to talk about unison, they should have scheduled their own meeting. 2. You totally glossed over the fact that Robyn lied about not talking behind the other women's back and that Janelle exposed that. How should they trust someone like that and open up to her? Edit: 3. Also, I don't get why you didn't react to Kody being so overdramatic about his Covid. Janelle had it, too, he never cared, then he is trying to put heat on her for not caring. 4.He TRIED to physically intimidate Janelle by hitting his hands, leaning forward etc...This is actually taught as first signs of something escalating to physical abuse. Also, I don't want to be screamed at and cut off and ignored. This reaction was a really bad take, like your "Kody is not narcissistic"-days. Just because an opinion is mainstream does not make it wrong and you should have learned by now.
I actually agree with Pop Psych. Kody can be abusive sometimes, but in this clip, a man yelling by itsself isn’t necessarily abusive. It’s important to distinguish what is and what isn’t. A person getting upset and yelling isn’t always abuse. If he was screaming in her face, was threatening to harm her, not letting her leave, throwing things, that would be abusive I think. But a person just standing up and shouting, is not abuse. Now I do think that he has definitely been abusive to Janelle, financially and emotionally.
Yep and it can and often does lead to physical violence..narcs so this to intimidate and it does. It used to scare me until I knew my power in God then that person didn't touch be again but they had been violent and thought they'd keep intimidating me. But you're correct that this behavior from men is often used to scare women into submission. It's also immature
@@Angelface11 I agreed with the Psychologist making this video. You’re telling me you know more than both of us right?? You have no idea who I am or what I’ve been through. It Sounds like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Oh the irony of you suggesting I’ve never experienced abuse while you lecture people about it on the internet. You’re just another armchair expert. If you weren’t so busy acting like a know-it-all, you might actually learn something.
As the scapegoat child of a narcissist father and enabling mother; yes. Kody is abusive. Neglecting your kids is abusive, demanding respect and making love conditional is abusive. Stringing a wife you don’t love or want a relationship with (Meri) along to finance your dream house and midlife whims is abusive. Only caring about yourself and your needs with ZERO regard for any one else’s feeling is abusive. How he treats his kids is abusive. Abuse isn’t just physical. Emotional abuse cuts very deep also. It leaves scars for the rest of your life, trust me.
If Meri only understood that malignant narcissists NEVER appreciate loyalty, and they never forgive narcissist injury. They also only give out approval or "strokes" if its absolutely necessary. Kody will never give Meri anything but contempt, while she believes he'll eventually accept her back & forgive her.
In response to Janelle being able to be independent and still like the one house idea, I think it’s because she has the confidence in herself and her mental health to deal with the pros AND the cons. She wants the whole family together, and if that means seeing kody & Robyn together, she’s ok with that.
I would ask you to research the different types and methods of abuse much more widely, coercive control is also a form of abuse for example it doesn’t involve hitting, name calling or physical intimidation etc. It is important to be able to recognise more nuanced forms of abuse so you can help men and women in relationships where it is present identify it and if they can leave. I would as someone who was in one such a relationship for over a decade say Kody is abusive .
Thanks for posting this. I also feel that Kody is abusive with the way he treats ALL his wives. Isolates them (but Christine and Janelle don't always blindly obey) and HE is the only one doing the majority of communicating between all the family members. Plus he pits them against each other by the way he treats them. All about power and control, and I feel much of his current anger is because he feels it slipping and methods that worked in the past are now failing him.
“After all I’ve sacrificed.” “No loyalty.” “Not respected by my own wives and kids.” “Given up my whole life for these people.” Apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of - or his role in - a giving, supportive, loving family.
Christine was Janelle’s 6 kids primary caregiver. In Utah before LV, Janelle would leave the house before her kids woke up. Her oldest son would wake up the kids, feed them breakfast and get them off to school. Janelle would not get home from work until 6 or 7pm. She would then go to Christine’s to eat what Christine had fed their kids. Janelle had commented that she didn’t even know elementary age Savanah needed her hair fixed before school. For many years Christine was not only caring for 12 children, she was also homeschooling them while Meri, Janelle and Kody worked. Kody often traveled for work. The kids have commented that in a different life, Janelle would have been a hippie. Janelle agreed. Janelle’s role was what typically is seen from the traditional emotionally disconnected working husband. Christine meet all of those needs a housewife would meet. Christine was Janelle’s “wife”. Kody was Janelle’s lover. One more thought: If Kody & Meri are still part of the faith then they together are the link that keeps Leon (Mariah) sealed to them for eternity. That could be Meri’s motivation for staying. My understanding is, by Christine breaking the eternal marriage seal with Kody, she has severed the eternal link between Kody and his kids. That’s one reason he is so pissed.
I do genealogy and have been learning about what the lds church believes and why they do genealogy. They can seal people that are long since dead and doing this work through their temple gets their ancestors into heaven. I think until they've had their faith divorce ceremony and approval by the church and Christine seals to another spouse (what Sobbyn was saying) that she will stay sealed in eternity to Kody whether they stay together on Earth or not. I may be completely wrong but I found I have an ancestor of mine that was in the faith in Louisiana during the time all lds believed in plural marriage so I started asking questions. He didn't appear to have multiple wives at the same time but then, I'm not in the church so I wldn't have access to those records anyway. One of the members I was speaking to in a genealogy group explained all this very briefly to me. If that's all true too, Meri cld go marry another member who doesn't hate her or think she's an emotional cheater and get sealed to him and still get to heaven. It wldn't affect her adult child who doesn't seem to be in the faith anymore anyway. None of Christine's kids have stayed in it either that I remember/know. If they did, they wld get sealed on their own with their own spouse.
Janelle knows more than she can say because they want her to react. She knows that they only want one outcome! She’s smart & is not allowing them to gaslight her!
You guys have settled in and are doing a great watch along. The first couple watches your wife was stifling herself. I'm glad she is more comfortable and found her voice. You make a good team
@J M not my take at all. My take is that she was taking a backseat because this was his schtick and she didn't want to steal his thunder nor was she comfortable in front of a camera.
I have to agree with your wife. I feel like Robin and Kody are working overtime to clean up their imagine because they are getting dragged so bad on social media. Jenelle sees the bs for what it is, and she is completely over it. Kody is backtracking so hard he did imply that the kids have to apologize to him and Robyn now he's like " I just want a conversation to cut the tension and awkwardness" he is full of shit.
Robyn always frames Kody as a victim, which is what his narcissism wants to hear, so she actually makes his condition WORSE by enabling and it is also what gives her some control over him as long as there will be someone else to blame and project on. When it is just her left...uh oh. Also, the whole conversation was just a cover tactic. The whole goal was to further delay Janelle's house plans...goal reached.
Yep...narcs love getting a gang and loooovvvee being enabled. You're correct, however he also has others to focus on destroying but Robyn won't be lucky anymore because everyone else is leaving...so who will Kody pick on now? She should be scared after all she's done to help him destroy his relationships with all his kids and other wives.
I didn't read your whole comment but wow yes! You know narcs. Exactly...when everyone is gonr..then who will Kody pick to deflect, project and destroy Robin? That's narcs, they must have a double life and choose one person close to them, usually a partner, to pick on and destroy.
I’m so glad you both have a microphone this time. Keep these coming. When Meri and Kody were trying to work on their relationship after the catfishing, their therapist Nancy said they always said more to the camera than to each other and they needed to start saying those things to each other. Kody is saying this to the camera because he is hoping Meri will see this and leave without them having to have the conversation. All of the Brown “adults” half say things in-person frequently leaving room for misunderstandings.
Janelle wanted the 1 house because she's the one who actually wants a large family. She saw the value in it. Christine was the one who brought them together. Without them both they loose the glue
Kody saying “Robyn is the only good communicator here.” Basically means that Robyn is the only person that he listens to. Janelle and Christine would talk and voice their opinions, but Kody just doesn’t listen to them. He hears what he wants to hear.
Janelle was content with her role as provider and she enjoyed that the other women (i.e. Christine) would manage the home environment. She had her place and she was secure in the family and she has stayed in hopes of getting back to the good place. So many people have stayed in relationships hoping that the bad is a phase and the good is coming back. Hope she does find her happiness separate from him.
You're right that Robyn's approach is the best approach... she also knows this. She had her talking points ready ahead of time, to make sure she looks good and can point people back to this conversation to say she tried her best with Janelle. Your wife is right that actions are more important than words, and Robyn hasn't been having these conversations privately or tried to solve problems. Like you said, why are they having this conversation two months after Christine leaves instead of the next day? It's because it is a filming day and they needed to save it for the camera. Robyn is manipulative, and knowing the history of the family helps your wife to see that. I enjoy listening to the both of you, and hearing your break downs.
Janelle's ability to hold her tongue after listening to Robin is truly admirable
I agree. It's fascinating to watch. Situations like that easily gets out of hand. And Kody is like a bomb, emotional but also a bit irrational. No control. Janelle balances him nicely. Both her and Christine have really had to step up to the plate acting like adults. Relatively cool, calm, collected. No doormats. Effective communication.
I wonder if they have discussed the best way to deal with Kody? Being prepared is important when dealing with hotmess express. Dealing with Kody is like working on the ER, lol. They surely outgrew him. Wonder if Kody can be embarrassed by his own behavior?
But isn't that part of the problem, people holding their tongues? Maybe they should have tried to speak their hearts but I get it probably didn't feel safe to do so. Kody always sides with Robyn.
I think every time she holds her tongue she’s shutting down that relationship. It’s like literally watching a woman mentally leaving her husband one argument at a time.
Idk. I wish she had more of a backbone, and someone would tell sobyn to shut tf up
I honestly don’t think it’s admirable. I think if the wife’s would’ve spoken up sooner it wouldn’t have gotten to this point. I sure wouldn’t have let her come into my life and family and talk the way she does, it’s absolutely astounding the way she thinks she can insert herself and spout bull shit, but it’s because they all allow it
As a former DV shelter manager, he's emotionally and financially abusive. Abuse isn't just physical.
Thank you for making that clarification. I find him to be an abusive person.
💯 agree... also not controlling his emotions and anger, and just lashing out, standing up, getting in someone's face, yelling, etc is abusive. No one has any idea what he will do next when he is exhibiting those signs. It's fear inducing, and intimidating. That's abusive... so I do disagree with the statement made on the video that he isn't abusive. He is.... time we look at abuse beyond calling names and being physical
Thank you for saying this, I am concerned that a professional doesn't seem to recognize abusive behavior or justifies it. He also seems to forget the behavior we see is Kody "behaving". Imagine what he is like when the cameras aren't around.
I was uncomfortable with Kody's body language just when he got up and started walking past Jenelle tearing up paper and tossing logs on the fire. It felt like he couldn't be physical to her so he took it out on something else, I would have been very threatened were I Janelle.
I also agree. He is abusive. He withholds love and affection from not only his wives but his kids as well. He demands unquestioned loyalty and respect while he disrespects everyone around him. My heart breaks for those kids.
Amen!
First it was the state of Utah. Then it was Meri. Then it was Christine. Then it was Garrison and Gabe. Then it was Janelle. Then it was Covid. Then it was Sister wives. Then it’s his daddy. Now it’s polygamy’s fault.
When will you take accountability for your own actions, Kody? 🙄
Never. He’s a textbook narcissist. They are never wrong. Accountability isn’t in their bandwidth.
Never
Never. Never. Never.
BRB, checking the weather report from hell.
Robin isnt genuine. She’s playing them cause she wants Kody to think she’s all in with him.
“Janelle and her children” says it all about Kody.
Right when it’s Robyn’s kids, it “our kids” and “my kids”
What? Telling your wife that you were never attracted to her, never loved her, belittling her, being uncaring toward your shared children, and showering another person with affection in front of her certainty is abusive behavior!!! Emotionally and mentally. Can’t believe you say you see no abuse.
The fact that he doesn't see the abuse stuns me. I agree with 99% of what he says. That statement though.... he is dead wrong. Hopefully it's because he is looking at it from. Too much of a clinical perspective vs experience perspective
It is honestly scary he says he doesn't see abuse.
1000% agree.
Exactly! 👍
And all the other crap too, like “follow the patriarchy”.
I believe that Kody has tried to physically intimidate Janelle. His posture, standing over her, leaning in aggressively at dinner are all attempts at intimidation
Imagine what he’s like when there’s no camera there . I think he’s abusive physically as well as emotionally.
Listen to your wife. Women know women.
You commented that Kody is not adjusting his behavior, which is odd considering the outcomes. The results are desired. Therefore he does not change his behavior. Forget what Kody is saying; look at his behavior. He is pushing each wife away so he "doesn't quit." They do. Two are gone, and one keeps hanging on. He aggressively encourages Meri to move on.
He wants one wife, Robyn. He has his home, his children, his and their money. He and Robyn orchestrated all of this in a long game.
This is not a man "trying to hold his family together."
💯 THIS!!!
Bingo!
THIS!!! The only reason he is going through the motions is because Robyn wants it and she will make his life h#ll if he doesn't look like he wants it too.
💯 🎯💯🎯💯🎯‼️
Yup. I felt like Janelle knew that kody and Robyn were NEVER really considering one large house for the family, and was calling them out.
I think it is critical to watch previous seasons to make a call on abuse. He is emotionally abusive and withholds attention and affection to manipulate.
It’s too late Robyn. Plus, it doesn’t matter what You want. The other wives want one something else. They want to stop the pain.
I agree. Watch it from the beginning! See how it worked with 3 women that shared. What a conception!
HE KNOWS WHAT SHE NEEDS!!! Come regularly like you did before, live with us, have a relationship with the mother, your wife! This is what SHE needs! Quit saying you don’t know what she needs. You know you know.. . I think it is more about money with Cody. He wants her back for the money she brings in. Robyn’s But children are old enough that she should go to work. The other ladies left newborns.
They have not spoken about Thanksgiving why would they think Janell and children would be coming??? Why haven’t YOU told them, it is your place man buck up, reach out. Yes you are the only one that sees that as a betrayal! YOU call them big boy! What you said is spot on, but he should not feel betrayed as he hasn’t done anything to help!!! Buck up man, stop acting like a child! Kody has not been vaccinated!!! I think he is absolutely abusive!!! He has abused his wives and HIS children. And he got covid!!! Can we keep talking please? UGH, can YOU share please? Not really on the huge sacrifices!!! You seemed to be just fine with Robyn and her children and no one else! This show started out interesting. . . At this point it is not! Give Janelle and Christine a show! I am sick of this one.
If Kody & Robyn want the kids to come to his house for Christmas why didn’t he or Robyn proactively invite the kids to his house. Robyn could have reached out to unite the family by inviting them for the holidays
Thank You!! Janelle isn't trying to drive a wedge between them, the kids all just want to get together! "Kody's trying to hold the family together 🤡" Excuse me what? lol
Bingo! I just commented w/ a similar thought. The event sounds like punishment - who would even want to go?
Robyn prefers to complain after the fact and continue to play the victim.
@@colormetakenaback the kids want to know if Dad wants them there!
@@queenohalloween7089 Why you yelling at me? lol
You seem to have forgotten that Kody not only made up his own rules. He wanted his daughters/sons to give up their jobs/partners stay home whilst only he visited whilst he and Robyn had a nanny and the nanny's husband coming in and out of their McMansion. He said Robyn wipes down all the mail/shopping but when Janelle took Robyn a birthday gift she kept Janelle outside whilst opening the parcel then taking it inside without the "wiping down" obvious lie she'd made up
True. His conditions favored only his and Robyn's family.
I love your wife SHE UNDERSTANDS AND READS in between the LINES when rrrrobyn is actually trying to say because she is always the victim and Kody points the family problem and blames his other children!
Cody and Robyn, both, are always claiming to be the victims. They feed off each other.
Agreed! Savvy lady!
the female perspective is VERY valuable here. much as kody likes to deny it, this is verry nuanced
I think Meri is staying to watch the implosion of the family as the First Wife’s Revenge. She just sits back and watches. 😂
She doesn't benefit one way or the other, plus she still has the hots for Kody
I think she's hoping she'll end up the only wife left and he'll come back to her. The second he laughed at her and said he doesn't want a relationship with her, I hope she was so furious that she will finally leave him.
That is a good observation
BINGO!!!!!
Hi everyone Im a new sub. And I to
It’s good to hear a female’s perspective. I also hate how Robyn feels she knows Kody the best and Robynsplains to long term wives.
Ikr?!
Right?! She treats him like he is a new species and she is a scientist explaining his behavior to others.
Omg totally agree the first time she Robynsplained polygamy. I was like huh? These women have lived it for decades and you’re new in the gate.
Wow. I’m amazed that you feel Kody is not abusive.
His incessant need to control, gaslighting, triangulation, alienation/withholding affection , etc are all forms of abuse. I would also say he has put them all (except maybe Robyn) through the IDD cycle.
Sadly, your line of thinking is what keeps women trapped in domestic violence situations. They are led to believe that unless they are hit or called names, they aren’t really being abused. Or worse, their abuser just needs some understanding and support.
Kody and Robyn are a great match bc they’re both so dramatic; and I fully believe they rehearse this stuff before the meetings. I cannot take Robyn’s crying with no tears the whole episode
They’re a match inasmuch as he’s a grandiose narcissist, & she’s covert. Otherwise, it would never work.
Those two are going to annoy the shit out of each other once the other wives are all gone. The only reason why their relationship works is because they can use the other wives as scapegoats and workhorses.
I normally tear up when someone else starts to cry, but Robyn's tears have become so mechanized I just start laughing anytime she trots them out.
I hadn't thought of that but I bet you are right.
@@lisahuber9329 Agreed!
Kody is abusive because he intentionally changes the story to suit his narrative. Kody is verbally and emotionally abusive.
And financially abusive!
yeah. i was stunned to hear him say that.
Big time!
I'd really like it if you and your wife went back to Season 1 and did a complete re-watch after the three tell all episodes are over. I think it would be good to go back and see how much Kody's attitude has changed over the years, because it has. Also, right from the beginning Robyn was crossing lines and asking Kody not to tell the other wives, like with her wedding dress. Kody went with her to pick hers out and she knew the other wives would be upset so she asked him to keep it a secret. Interesting to watch it all back from the current perspective.
I agree with this so much. I put season 1 on in the background the other day while I was working and I was so shocked at how different he was. I know I’m we only saw a little bit of their true lives, but you can see it just in his body language. Kody is a shit actor. There was genuine love and affection toward Meri,Janelle and Christine back then. You can SEE the difference, regardless of what they say out loud
With age and pover He got to full of himself.
@@lindalund9621 and full of Rob’em.
I think Robyn used the Brown family as a meal ticket. Janelle saw through it the whole time.
I agree I think perhaps Meri knows that if she just hangs in there, once the TLC contract ends, Robyn will leave
She's only in the marriage for the money and fame, and she'll leave when it ends.
1000%
She did for sure. I watched some other videos talking about how she found out about the browns going on tv and she was all about money. If Robyn wanted the family to work she would have been different
Remember how Janelle gave half of her proceeds and so did meri to help kody and robyn buy their big home in Flagstaff. Kody manipulated that maneuver. They owe Janelle and meri a lot of money.
I agree that robyn joined family initially for monetary benefits. The Brown family paid off her big debts when she joined the family. I believe robyn is upset because the wives are leaving because their income will be diminished drastically.
Robyn and kody will need to go to work. That's probably why he's kept meri around and didn't come out and say all those years that their marriage was completely over. He kept her around because she made a lot of money with her clothing business. Janelle mentioned she was the bread winner of the family for years, then at the end of this last season she says she has nothing for herself.
It's all kodys financial
Manipulations.
I think over the years Janelle has learned to be independent but in her heart she always wanted the big United family.
Exactly!
💯
the best part of that for her was Christine, though, and her kids - with her one true sister wife gone, she just had nothing left there.
Yup. She was 100% loyal to Kody, the kids, and the wives (especially Christine). But being truely loyal includes HONESTY. Being honest about what's really going on and what her needs are. If Kody had just listened to her and been willing to work w her and their kids she'd still be there.
But Kody for as much as he whines about loyalty doesn't want it. He wants UNQUESTIONING OBIEDENCE. He wants to be fully in control and doesn't want to even just hear other opinons. He thinks he should just be given control & respect even tho he has done NOTHING to earn it.
I think Kody got used to Robyn's unquestioning obidence and started to think that it was loyalty. It isn't. But he's forgetting that Robyn has a very different marriage than his other wives. She has his affection, love, attention, monetary support, and he's a father to ALL her children- including the adults. Robyn is willing to do whatever to maintain this life for her & her kids, which means blowing as much smoke up Kody'd @ss as possible while crapping on her sister wives. Which is ironic because she DOES want the big family and the best real estsate in the best heaven. She is self sabatodging just to please Kody and doesn't seem to realize it.
Meanwhile why would ANY of the original 3 stay? Kody is a crap husband, he gives zero affection or attention and just thinks they should live in a dead marriage. But he still wants control of them- ironically if he at least gave them independance at least Janelle might've stayed.
And he's a terrible father to his other kids. If he was willing to do right by ALL his kids I doubt we'd be here. AND he's screwing them money wise!! They could at least work together for the business & future family. But NOPE. He just wants them to send him checks w/o rver getting the homes or financial security he promised.
If Kody had done ANYTHING to return her true loyalty & commitment to their family we wouldn't be here.
My thoughts on the big house. It would also be A LOT cheaper than the separate rental and mortgage payments. It also removes Kody's excuse of avoiding wives he doesn't like. It's going to be really hard to ignore his "marriage" to Meri, if he's seeing her on the daily.
Kody has a history of punishing his wives when they do things he doesn't like. Robyn doesn't get treated that way but the other three have experienced it. He withholds affection/love until they submit. I'd shut down around someone like that too
And he often punishes the children of whatever mother he's angry at. He has the emotional maturity of a dead gnat.
Beer and Skittles will be the title of the Janelle and Christine spin off.
HA!!
Oh man.. I hope so 😆
It should be called no more beer and skittles
This comment deserves all the likes. I actually laughed out loud and didn't know how to explain why to the people who looked over.
😂👏🏻
Hell, yes!
Yes, Kody is abusive. His posturing, hitting his fist - that is all a part of abusive posturing.
I think most married people complain to each other about friends and family. The difference is my husband never repeats what I say and more importantly he realizes I am venting and upset in the moment. Kody, you complain that you don’t feel “safe” with Christine, Meri and Janelle but it’s clear you haven’t created a safe space for them because you repeat every word uttered in private, among a million other reasons.
I have a theory...I believe he started adopting this autonomy/me time/have my own house nonsense when he was leaving Vegas because he was turning 50 and the normal stuff was happening to him as it does to any middle aged man. Lacking testosterone and age were getting in the way of him performing like a husband with three wives to satisfy and 18 children to feed. It doesn't work. He chose Robyn to love and care for in that time because he no longer had anything to give to women he felt platonic toward. His children, because they are smart, noticed it and stared to mention it to their Mothers....The Mom's didn't need to exploit him, he did it on his own.
Your wife almost made me choke laughing when she said, "Kody we're all talking about you behind your back".
I wish you would have done a watch along with her all season. She's great. Love your videos.
He is NOT trying to keep this family together. He wants everyone gone but Robyn and her kids.
BINGO!
And another new, younger, child-bearing capable wife once Meri and Janelle leave. Wouldn't Robyn shit?
He still want the wives to stay, cuz he needs their money
There is abuse in this family… it’s narcissistic abuse. It’s real and can take years to recover from. As a psychologist, please don’t minimize this!
Yes. So much abuse and Robyn feeds his supply. She wants the paycheck. But with narcissism this too will backfire. You can’t keep it up.
Robyn can communicate with Kody because she is the ‘golden wife’ that feels safe with Kody and she is the only wife Kody listens to. If you examine all the recent meetings with Kody & wives, the expressions on all the wives are the SAME at each meeting. The fear and reluctance for the wives to speak is caused by interacting with and experience with communicating with a narcissist. NO ONE wants to be the target of the narcissistic rage that can happen at any moment.
Exactly, Robyn is the only one who is allowed to say something. And that's only because she says what Kody wants to hear. If she ever spoke against Kody she would get the same treatment as the other wives, and quickly learn that it's just not worth it.
Robyn strokes Kody's ego like a Bond villain strokes a white cat in their lap.
@@Clutching.My.Pearls Yes to what all the above comments say! And...her tactic will only work until there is no one left to blame around them. Then...boom...it will be her turn.
He has only been living with robyn since they move to flagstaff and blame it on covid Robyn and Koty rules
When Isabel wanted to see Kody he wouldn’t even talk to her distantly in the backyard because it was “too cold” according to Kody. He couldn’t talk to her inside because of covid. 🙄
But he can ho officiate a friend's wedding, MASK FREE, and try to river dance around a room full of people! He's so disgusting and pathetic, and a worthless excuse for a father!
I find Kody to be verbally abusive when he "talks" to Janelle. He lives in his own world where everyone is against him if they don't agree with him.
He needs to acknowledge the pain he has created with HIS children. Stop making excuses own up to his mistakes and be ready to truly listen to what his children have to say.
You’re so right, but it will never happen. This poor excuse of a man is too weak to see anybody else’s needs or his damaging way of being a husband and father. He’s never been either!
Oh I agree - makes me CRAZY every time Robin interprets what Kody just said in front of Mary and Janelle as if to make it more acceptable. THANK YOU- it’s absolutely absurd that she feels the need to do this so often.
Robynsplains Everything. It’s cute in toddlers but cringy in adults.
Placating him and enabling doesn't mean she understands him. She simply is trying to soften his abuse.
And they are suffering too. They are part of the family. It’s always just about Kody or Robyn or both. Selfish people
100% abusive....withholding love for wives or children unless they "obey" is abusive.
I cannot imagine having this huge rift with my child and not picking up the phone and asking to meet and resolve it. And then he tells Janelle not to communicate for him?! So he puts the entire thing on the kids, such an absolute ass.
Kody felt blindsided by Christine leaving because he expected her to do what they all do, which is put up with his behavior no matter how appalling it is. He's still got Meri hanging around, so he expected Christine to do the same and be in the same kind of loveless fake marriage.
Four solitudes around a picnic table. Meri tells Kody to stop saying that he knows what these women think. He doesn't. Robyn wants to know if anyone else is leaving. Meri speaks in code to Robyn with Kody and Janelle sitting right there even though they say they want open and honest communication. Kody doesn't want Meri's support and he doesn't say so. Robyn says she remained silent so that she would not intimidate Janelle and Kody to her opinion. Intimidate? Not going to happen girl ...Ugh. When Robyn does speak, Kody isn't listening to what she says either.
Janelle was the only one being honest. She tells all of them that she is not sure that it is worth the effort to 'fix' this and stay. She feels that she is being forced to choose between her children and Kody. Janelle will always chose her children. Every mother will chose her kids. Robyn would chose her kids too. Not what Robyn wanted to hear but it needed to be said. It's disturbing that Robyn is going to be upset that Janelle chooses her kids when it is the same decision that she would have made.
Kody is DEFINITELY 100% abusive. Let me try to explain how. 1. If there were no outside observers/cameras documenting Kody's continual story changes/hypocricy/finacial manipulations... and you just met him and heard his current story of the day, he could sound resonable, honest, sincere, and heartfelt about his realistic needs not being met. A couple's counselor would take him seriously (as if not a narcissist) and maybe even take his side trying to help the wife understand and help him more. The wife would know the behind the scenes stuff...where she has contributed 99% of the effort for 25 years and he's a whiny, angry, stunted baby who always needs more, never is appreciative, and whose story always changes to meet his desire or manipulation of the moment to turn themselves into the victim while the real victim gets ignored. But because of the way narcs can present themselves, the counselor often JOINS the narc storyline and tries to work on the non-problematic partner who once again will try to jump through more hoops to solve the supposed problem that was never their problem to begin with, adding MORE of a burden to their giant pack. That's a form of TRIANGULATION ABUSE covert narcs LOVE and use with everyone outside the relationship to ruin the reputation of their victims. Kody TRIED to do that with all us viewers, to talk smack about how much Christine blindsided poor innocent him and robbed him of his asset, and broke his heart. The ONLY REASON no one is BUYING it is because there are 16 seasons of evidence making his claims laughable. But in REAL LIFE, with no evidence, he would have gathered MANY FLYING MONKEYS to help him attack Christine and would have destroyed Christine's reputation by him playing the victim outloud to others...while the real victim tries to be fair and kind and accept part of the blame which often makes them look guilty.
2. Despite just being emotionally stunted toddlers, boy, do they sure know how to PHYCHOLOGICALLY MANIPULATE to milk a person's empathy until they have gained ALL the financial resources one way or another. Some are smarter than others in how they do their con job, so their effectiveness varies but the attempt is always there. FINANCIAL ABUSE/manipulation/control to get their own way. They can do it BECAUSE they lack empathy for others point of view, so they don't deeply consider anyone else's need except their own which turns abusive in a partnership even if it only stemmed from total unawareness like Kody...it leaves the one who cared and helped the narc stranded when it comes time for the empathetic one to need help. There isn't true reciprocity. Like Kody "helped" Janelle with her trailer which seems nice...but it is just a cover to make him look good WHILE HE STEALS HER LIFE SAVINGS. You could say it was her fault from bad choices, but narcs FUTURE FAKE, so he was always implying he'd be there for the wives in future and implying they'd have their own assets etc. So he LIED to MANIPULATE the wives into giving up resources based on the marital TRUST they had in him. But you CANNOT trust a narc AT ALL. When you think they can't sink lower, they do. Remember Kody is containing his narc rage because there are cameras that keep him in line.
3. He GASLIGHTS ALL THE TIME. It is because the narcs GENUINELY see themselves as the victims or twist reality to fit that lie, so to them, they're just sharing their reality but it is 180 degrees off base. Gaslighting is the MOST HORRIFIC form of ABUSE, worse than physical violence. It is the foundation they lay to break a person down enough over time to get them to the point of accepting physical violence as the next logical step. Without gaslighting being involved, most people will not tolerate violence towards themselves. Again, with Kody we laugh it off because as we WITNESS it extetnally, he looks idiodic and crazy because of the evidence to all publically. Behind closed doors, with no evidence, a partner continually shifting reality, slowly over time WARPS your own mind! It confuses you about up from down because in the beginning, they do NOT act like that and earn your trust...from a trusting place, isolated with only them, they start telling you up is down, jokingly insulting you, playing victim so you get on the habit of helping them, telling you one thing while doing another, hiding their cards from you.
In just 4 years with a covert narc (worse than Kody by far), I lost my awesome career, my hair turned grey and began falling out in giant clumps from stress, I lost my self-esteem and confidence, gained 40 lbs, I began having anxiety attacks, I lost my retirement fund, I went into a depression so deep that I didn't smile or laugh for over a year. (I had been a very happy, positive, health conscious person who excercised, ate well, went dancing and kayaking weekly, had healthy friendships, healthy family, was well set financially etc). In just 4 years, I couldn't recognize myself in a mirror and he never laid a hand on me and rarely swore at me.
Just using the same tools Kody uses... (except he was a better con man), he wiped me OUT. I escaped several times within those 4 years but his cries and pleas and promises of change sucked me back in. Finally I got a divorce, moved cross country, and blocked him fully but I've been in recovery for 2 years and I still consider it a blessed day when I can laugh at something or put together a healthy meal. Recovery is no joke because I have to rebuild EVERY PART of my life that he destroyed while lying to me. Janelle and Christine will make it seem pretty easy because they will still have financial resources from the show money coming in and brands they can partner with. Outsiders I tried to go to for help that were like you and your wife made it SO MUCH HARDER on me because being tricked by a narc makes you an easy flying monkey. I tried telling pastors begging for help and they'd meet him, my hubby would quote scriptures and be charming and so the pastors would think he was a great guy and team up with him to imply I needed to not complain. I needed to see what his needs were etc. They just had no clue what I was begging for help for. I got out on my own, thank God, but I still feel that the poorly trained counselors and pastors were part of what made it take so long to escape...and part of why I lost everything. They helped gaslight me just from ignorance of how coverts operate.
It still BUGS me that you can't truly grasp it yet. But I understand why you and your wife, as healthy people, don't grasp it. Before I married my charming narc, I had NO IDEA how the brains of these people work. I had NO IDEA what they were capable of while seeming like innocent, lovable, capable, charming people. Sigh. It matters for your clients that you learn this. These sneaky snakes get away with murder in business/homes. For real. Look at Chris Watts...covert narc. If he didn't screw up the murder details, no one would have suspected him. Nice family supportive guy right? He never beat her and maybe never screamed obsenities. Hahaha...a simple lack of empathy can allow for HORRENDOUS evil to be done. Don't let Kody's bumbling sweet idiot surface demeanor fool you about the abuses he has inflicted on his wives. They will recover faster and easier than most will because they have the backing of people who see his lies, they will have 17 seasons of evidence for themselves to rewatch, and they will have financial options. It doesn't play out that way for most people who escape narcs.
1000%! Thank you for sharing your story, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Therapists with this level of ignorance are dangerous for their patients
@@jennymarty3112 Awww, thanks for reading and understanding my long essay. I feel such compulsion to try to better educate therapists/pastors about this cuz soooooooo many narcs spin circles of deception around them and they have NO IDEA what is REALLY going on and end up heloing the abuser abuse. Normal people try to be "fair" and "understand both people's side" of an issue equally, while not understanding that narcs are NOT operating in our "normal" reality at all. Their side is often utterly a made up fabrication or the dellusion of their own disorder, there is no "middle ground" or fair "compromise" with a narc no matter how lovable they seem...their utter envelopment in ME ME ME makes it impossible for anything else to exist. They're only being nice if it serves their image or gets them supply, they're only being mean when it serves themselves or their agenda of manipulation, they are NOT NORMAL. You cannot deal with them in a normal way. Just like some people who have been molested in childhood develop a creep-meter and can pick out a perv in 10 seconds upon first meeting, people who've been abused by a narc (and seen through it/are healed) can USUALLY sniff them out quickly and point out the signs and know what to do. It's rough for therapists who want to help people but don't have a good "sniffer" developed and don't know what to do to nip the situation in the bud. Sigh. I'm working out my own unfinished business by still trying to get through to the "helpers" who maybe can't be helped until they go through something similar themselves because it's abnormality makes it SOOOOO hard to understand for normies.
@@ChristianOne yep, they twist and distort reality and constantly change the goal posts so you are never living up to their expectations. And they learn how to abuse better by going to therapy if the therapist is ignorant, they pick up the lingo and use it as a weapon in their con. This is why Kody is now is using terms like “narcissist” “gaslighting” (a better narc or smoother operator so to speak would be able to pull this off better than Kody does, but he still tries). They simply regurgitate terms and ideas they hear others using, but use it against them or twist them in a way that benefits the narc. Once you see it, it’s so painfully obvious! Best wishes on your healing journey 💕 I pray David and other therapists try to better educate themselves so they can help their patients
@@jennymarty3112 I 1000% agree with you. Sounds like you kmow it all well yourself, so I am sorry for what you went through. No one truly knows what it's like unless they've lived with one of these psychos.
I read your entire post and agree. You are well educated in narcs and abuse. I think you would have got more "likes" if your post wasn't so long. It's and educational post. Much success in your journey
Your wife is everything 😂 she said “Kody, we’re all talking about you. You’re an @;)/)/$$/!” 😂😂😂
I know! What a queen!
Sleigh queen 👑
I want to be besties with Janelle, Christine, AND David's wife (I'm sorry I don't know her name but love her nonetheless.)
@@MaryAnnBrooks I totally agree, I think her name is Allison. She calls like like it is! It would be a blast to hang out with her 😃
So, I love this set up with a commentary including a woman's perspective, especially your wife- she's got great insight. As a therapist, seeing the current SW dynamic is really interesting. I think you guys are missing the fact that Janelle has been working hard to keep all that is happening from happening. Of course she's fed up! And she'll stay checked out until Kody and Robin get honest with themselves.
This is a great video perspective taking history into account about Janelle's perspective here- th-cam.com/video/uCn5OTChJ_c/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for being so delicate about his cringe commentary. 😬😆
I agree they should have finished the conversation, but I don't blame Janelle for leaving. She was ambushed. The sit-down was advertised as an opportunity to see her house plans and turned into a talk about her marriage. If they want to get real and be honest with each other, they need to start by getting each other to agree to the conversation, not spring it on one another.
Agreed and why are all the talks about their marriages done so I front of Robyn and Meri, it’s non personal, and disrespectful. Why do they have to address Robyn instead of Cody?
I agree. This was supposed to be about the plans. Janelle is homeless and per Kody has to get Meri and Robyn’s approval for her plans. She is also on a time crunch and Meri is rarely around. For her Christine bashing is a waste and Robyn’s passive aggressive nonsense was both annoying, dismissive of Janelle, and incredibly selfish
This guy is EXACTLY what is wrong with many therapists. Kody IS abusive. He doesn't have to hit his wives or children to abuse them. Anyone who buys into the concept of "everyone needs to accept blame in a relationship" has never been married to a malignant narcissist. This guy's approach to being in an abusive relationship is what keeps many of us trapped in them for so long. When the therapist we reach out to for HELP is partially blaming us for our abuse, we shrink back and accept that we brought it on ourselves. Then we stay for way longer , taking even more abuse. This guy gives Robyn and especially Kody WAY too much credit. It is what it is, doc - ABUSE. And Janelle needs to get out just like Christine did!!
Completely agree! It is a missed opportunity to educate on narcissistic abuse. Dismissing Kodys behavior as “emotionally immature” or “Kodys anger is normal but he is angry about the wrong thing,” leads people to believe that abusers can change or worse, need patience and understanding.
We need a spin-off of just Christine and Janelle. Meri is regretting divorcing Kody so he could marry Robyn. Robin was looking for a meal ticket, and she got it. If Meri doesn't realize she is not married to Kody after this season, and leave, there is no hope for her. Every other plural family now has learned: Don't bring in a Robyn grenade or your family with blow up, destroyed.
I wonder how Meri will react to Kody saying he doesn't even want to be married to her anymore
@Lisa Huber - it will be Robyn-splained in the tell all. 😆
I've heard rumors that there will be a Christine-Janelle spin-off
I would love to see Meri leave Kody and do a lot of therapy, it could be a whole series! Meri could be a powerhouse if she could just sort out her baggage!
The issue I have with Robyn being such a good communicator is why hasn’t she done it all along? She knew what was happening in the family and let it happen. (Or was making it happen) why want to fix it once ppl are fed up? Christine was so vocal about what she wanted and how unhappy she was but when she decided to leave, THEN Robyn wants to do something? It just seems so planned, so deliberate.
But she claims she doesn’t understand or didn’t know and she’s confused🤔
I love both of your commentary on this but her commentary is giving me life LOL! "Kody we are all talking about you!" "You are an asshole." 😂
But I don't like how he doesn't see Janelle. Janelle is tired so tired of kody and Robyn BS. She doesn't want to try....why? It's been years and nothing has changed
I remember on past episodes Janelle and her kids tried to communicate with Kody and Robyn but got shot down. Now all the sudden Kody and Robyn want the communication. Its like Janelle has tired of trying.
I enjoy hearing what your wife says. She’s very well spoken. I think it’s awesome that you 2 do this together.
Love your wife’s comments! ❤️❤️
So agree! I love her
The problem with Kody’s protocols was it was going to keep Janelle from her adult kids and keep Christine from her adult kids. It was only easy for Robyn because all her kids stayed home.
💯
Narcissists try to break up the relationships ppl have that are most important to them like Janelle & her kids.
I can't blame Janelle, not wanting to continue in the crucial conversation. Figuring things out, in Robyn and Kody's world is doing things their way.
Absolutely!
I couldn't have taken another minute of Robyn's feigned ignorance, if I was Janelle, tbh.
Janelle has been told she either becomes like Robyn or Kodi is done with her. She has said she is not going to become Robyn. So there is nothing left to say.
When kody is asked if robyn is the favorite wife? He hates being asked cuz he knows its true.kody and Robyn used the other women for money Janelle leaves only meri left to be used.
I disagree with Kody not being abusive. I was in an abusive relationship for 38 years. It’s not always physical abuse there’s verbal abuse. A verbal slap down or I’m not being heard because I’m disregarded constantly and lose my voice because of it. It makes you start to feel afraid to speak up. Also he’s verbally intimidating and psychologically and emotionally abusive as well. He gaslights so that others will question their reality and he has a favorite wife. None of it is healthy for anyone of the other and wives. I think when you put it all together it’s abusive in my opinion. And although I was physically abused the mental, emotional and verbal were just as powerful as the physical.
1000% agree.
Oops, I mean I 1000% agree with you about your disagreement over the understanding of what defines abuse. 😆
WHY is everyone loosing sight of the fact that Cody said he needed Meri to go forward with Coyote Pass. In a previous episode. That is about Meri's money .
💯💰
E hasn’t told them anything about it is the only way to do it one hug would do it
i like the way he yelled at Janelle that he was trying to protect Truely. HE COULDN'T REMEMBER WHICH WOMAN GAVE BIRTH TO WHICH CHILD
Kody didn’t have a problem until HIS needs weren’t being met. Now it’s a problem!
Love love your wife's Input she is getting everything your missing lol 😅
how as a therapist, can you say that the way that this man speaks to his wives is not abusive?
Right?
💯
He neglects and abandons his kids, and screams on camera at his wives, gaslights etc
HOW is that not abuse
I think Kody wants to be in a monogamous relationship with Robyn but he has to make them leave him so he can be the victim.
I love that you included your wife in these. It's good seeing the different perspectives from you both.
My take was that Janelle and her children rented the place when they thought Kody needed an apology before they would see him Christine and some of her kids are coming later. They extended their rental to accommodate that.
If Kody really wants to spend time with his children and wives, why does it matter where they gather? The children are coming to Flagstaff. Is it too inconvenient for Kody to leave his house to go to meet them in Flagstaff?
It's sad that his desire for 'Loyalty' and obedience is more important than repair and nurture his relationships with his children and simply spend time with children and wives.
He needs the gathering at HIS home, so he can have control, & play big man of the house. He can’t throw them out of some1 else’s home, either!
@@joellepatry493 💯💯💯
They need a rented house anyway, there's a lot of them. His anger was irrational.
Janell and Christine’s kids are happy to be with each other. Let them be, and enjoy their Christmas together.
If Robin cared as much for the family as she says, and she knows Janelle's boys think she is the problem she should have contacted the boys to see if she could make peace.
Noooo…Kody insisted that Janelle MUST set the talk with other wives to discuss building and her plans…so when Kody and Robyn hijacked the “talk”….Janelle insisted on saying what she came to say….
I hate how Robyn is probably the only one able to disagree/challenge Kody without him feeling he needs to "punish" her. Yet, she never speaks up for anyone else unless it makes her look good or benefits her. Meri is saying she's wanting to fight for this and Kody doesn't want to get in the ring. Robyn acknowledges this but doesn't speak out because she can't be bothered
I think Janelle was hopeful that the one house was an opportunity to bring them all back together.
I think that was the idea years ago, now I think she was just calling their bluff.
Exactly! Janelle believes that the only time this family really functioned together was when they lived in one house in Utah. She agreed to the big house in the hopes of getting back to that.
But I hear alot of die heart fans that say that the House in Lehi was great. Meri wouldn't let the kids in her part of the house (the main part) That Chrisinte was down in the basement not happy. Janelle worked but also her and Meri did not get along.??? I could not even imaged if they did have the one house now.......
The ideal situation was Las Vegas. Perfect distances, kids could run from house to house, everyone had space and when necessary togetherness. KLUELESS needed to make Robyn happy because Dayton was going to college in Flagstaff and Robyn needed to be near him. So the other wives git screwed.
Kody is so quick to cry about how his heart is broken but disregards that he's broken the hearts of many of his children.
And 3 women!
Yeah that's narcissism. They do the destroying them play victim. They never ever want to be wrong even when they're being evil. It's sad but they are just monstrous and will even through their kids under the bus to be seen as the victim in every situation they create.
I’m sorta uncomfortable with the statement that bc he hasn’t hit her or called her names then he isn’t abusive. I thought we didn’t judge abusive behavior by such a narrow standard. I know that was said specifically about Kody in this context, but that’s not the best thing for someone who may be in an emotionally abusive situation to hear. Manipulation and neglect are also abusive.
Agree! People WHO has been abused by a narcessist cant go to a Terapheut! They cant see it, they are not trained to see it. They have other thing they see… Robyns Good questens - But now why She Ask them! Its importen to sort out!
Kody and his “near death experience” infuriates me. I, like many, was truly ill with Covid. I was hospitalized, on oxygen at home, then had bronchitis. I coughed for months, lost half my hair, lost lots of weight. And it wasn’t near death. He makes my skin crawl!
It’s so infuriating! I had a near death experience a decade ago, and I still have ptsd from it and was never as dramatic as that lunatic! Lol, I had covid a bit worse than him (but better than you dealt with, glad you’ve recovered!) and was so happy that I wasn’t dying lol they hardly took me seriously when I ended up in the er. Then they were surprised by how upbeat I was, but I was like hey at least I’m not dying. Because I had been so scared of covid since surviving septic shock all those years ago, I never want to need respiratory assistance ever again. But to hear and see that guy acting like that really was upsetting to see.
@@jcam5064 so sorry what you went thru years ago. After I was so sick for months, I’m now pretty paranoid abut getting sick again. It kicked my butt! So I can imagine how you feel.
My first husband (I remarried 5 yrs after he died) died of brain cancer at 52. So Kody’s antics are horrible on so many levels. He has no idea what suffering really is.
Glad you’re doing well!
Robyn never lived in a plural household, she is lying when she says she wants that type of life because her actions speak louder than words, bad acting or fake crying.
I think she is from a plural household. I'm sure her Mum was a second wife from what I've seen and she saw how her Mum was always treated differently to her Dad's first wife and that affected her.
Robyn is so concerned about the lack of communication and yet it has been 2 1/2 months since Christine left and they got together.
Ikr? You would think they'd have each other's phone numbers
Robyn doesn’t want Janelle to build because she wants all the land for her kids. So it’s deflection. She also enjoys frustrating what other wives want. Considering Janelles last house and her 401k went into Robyn’s house you would think she’d be grateful. Users are never grateful they just expect more.
I so look forward to this with you both now. Fan from the U.K. here. I know you both have busy real lives but would love to see you guys go off on Sister Wives from season 1. I would love to see what your take on it. Xo
20:13 I love that wifey is so fed up she can’t look at Sobbin 😂
I love watching you two interact. Love your relationship. It makes me smile.
Robyn may have communicated a lot, but she didn't foster good communication. Good communication is about exchanging information and making everyone feel heard. If Robyn had replaced just one of those, "Janelle, let's please keep talking" with a "Kody, please stop yelling", Janelle may have felt heard. But instead, even as Kody yelled at her, Robyn only addressed what Janelle could do better (stay). Robyn was essentially saying, "Janelle, please sit there while Kody yells at you because it's more important that you stay than that you get to speak or to feel heard".
I think the biggest reason that they are unable to address the underlying issues is because Robyn is at the core of many of the family's problems. The other wives have to tiptoe around Robyn, and if Christine, Meri or Janelle even mention Robyn's name in a critical way, Robyn will start crying, and Kody will isolate the other wives even further for hurting her feelings. Janelle, Meri and Christine have all addressed Kody's favoritism in confessionals, but none of them are allowed to bring it up in front of the group without Robyn having a meltdown and Kody throwing a tantrum. The conversation never progresses past that point, and you can see the exasperation in Meri and Janelle's faces. You'll notice that while Kody and Robyn talk about these abstract ideas of "loyalty", "coming together" and "addressing issues", they never give ANY concrete examples of what they think is needed to fix the family dynamic. Robyn and Kody are intentionally vague, so even if the wives follow their arbitrary "rules", they can keep moving the goalpost and make excuses as to why they still aren't acting like a family. We see this in the fact that Meri followed all of Kody's Covid protocols, and yet she still wasn't allowed to visit with Kody, Robyn, or their kids.
I felt sorry for Janelle when she showed him the apartment..she was near to tears because all he did was find fault. Nothing Janelle does is good enough
He’s very materialistic. It’s sad how Robyn makes fun of her and how her kids follow her lead. Janelles money was absorbed by Kody and Robyn after Janelles retirement. So now Janelle has to go out and work more because of her being duped.
I think it made her mad. In her mind it was yet another nail he pounded, and this time she heard it, and stayed back. She doesn't want that anymore.
The way Robyn sees things most of the wives saw like that years prior too. The older wives aren't there anymore.
1. Janelle wanted to talk about her house and had a meeting for that. Robyn hijacked it to talk about her issues, although she knew how important that topic was for Janelle. There is nothing admirable or right about that. If Robyn and Kody wanted to talk about unison, they should have scheduled their own meeting.
2. You totally glossed over the fact that Robyn lied about not talking behind the other women's back and that Janelle exposed that. How should they trust someone like that and open up to her?
Edit: 3. Also, I don't get why you didn't react to Kody being so overdramatic about his Covid. Janelle had it, too, he never cared, then he is trying to put heat on her for not caring.
4.He TRIED to physically intimidate Janelle by hitting his hands, leaning forward etc...This is actually taught as first signs of something escalating to physical abuse. Also, I don't want to be screamed at and cut off and ignored.
This reaction was a really bad take, like your "Kody is not narcissistic"-days. Just because an opinion is mainstream does not make it wrong and you should have learned by now.
I actually agree with Pop Psych. Kody can be abusive sometimes, but in this clip, a man yelling by itsself isn’t necessarily abusive. It’s important to distinguish what is and what isn’t. A person getting upset and yelling isn’t always abuse. If he was screaming in her face, was threatening to harm her, not letting her leave, throwing things, that would be abusive I think. But a person just standing up and shouting, is not abuse. Now I do think that he has definitely been abusive to Janelle, financially and emotionally.
Yep and it can and often does lead to physical violence..narcs so this to intimidate and it does. It used to scare me until I knew my power in God then that person didn't touch be again but they had been violent and thought they'd keep intimidating me. But you're correct that this behavior from men is often used to scare women into submission. It's also immature
@@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesisyou think? Sounds like you've never known Abuse and don't recognize it
@@Angelface11 I agreed with the Psychologist making this video. You’re telling me you know more than both of us right?? You have no idea who I am or what I’ve been through. It Sounds like you don’t know what you’re talking about. Oh the irony of you suggesting I’ve never experienced abuse while you lecture people about it on the internet. You’re just another armchair expert. If you weren’t so busy acting like a know-it-all, you might actually learn something.
As the scapegoat child of a narcissist father and enabling mother; yes. Kody is abusive. Neglecting your kids is abusive, demanding respect and making love conditional is abusive. Stringing a wife you don’t love or want a relationship with (Meri) along to finance your dream house and midlife whims is abusive. Only caring about yourself and your needs with ZERO regard for any one else’s feeling is abusive. How he treats his kids is abusive. Abuse isn’t just physical. Emotional abuse cuts very deep also. It leaves scars for the rest of your life, trust me.
Every family needs a loyal dog. They have Meri
If Meri only understood that malignant narcissists NEVER appreciate loyalty, and they never forgive narcissist injury. They also only give out approval or "strokes" if its absolutely necessary. Kody will never give Meri anything but contempt, while she believes he'll eventually accept her back & forgive her.
Except she’s not loyal. Christine backed Meri up many times but Meri enjoys trying to destroy what others try to create.
In response to Janelle being able to be independent and still like the one house idea, I think it’s because she has the confidence in herself and her mental health to deal with the pros AND the cons. She wants the whole family together, and if that means seeing kody & Robyn together, she’s ok with that.
Kody has literally been throwing a temper tantrum throughout this whole season😂
Your wife is a rockstar! “Kody, we are all talking about you behind your back” 😂 FACTS!!!
"Don't Sobyn 'Splain!" That would be a great merch slogan!
The way Kody says “Janelle and HER kids…”
I want to scream at those too.
I would ask you to research the different types and methods of abuse much more widely, coercive control is also a form of abuse for example it doesn’t involve hitting, name calling or physical intimidation etc. It is important to be able to recognise more nuanced forms of abuse so you can help men and women in relationships where it is present identify it and if they can leave. I would as someone who was in one such a relationship for over a decade say Kody is abusive .
Thanks for posting this. I also feel that Kody is abusive with the way he treats ALL his wives. Isolates them (but Christine and Janelle don't always blindly obey) and HE is the only one doing the majority of communicating between all the family members. Plus he pits them against each other by the way he treats them. All about power and control, and I feel much of his current anger is because he feels it slipping and methods that worked in the past are now failing him.
“After all I’ve sacrificed.” “No loyalty.” “Not respected by my own wives and kids.” “Given up my whole life for these people.” Apparently he doesn’t understand the concept of - or his role in - a giving, supportive, loving family.
I really love your wife. She is so insightful and comes across as such a kind person.
And she is so funny. You are such a fun couple.
The look on Meri's face during Kody's chess analogy... 🤣
Christine was Janelle’s 6 kids primary caregiver. In Utah before LV, Janelle would leave the house before her kids woke up. Her oldest son would wake up the kids, feed them breakfast and get them off to school. Janelle would not get home from work until 6 or 7pm. She would then go to Christine’s to eat what Christine had fed their kids.
Janelle had commented that she didn’t even know elementary age Savanah needed her hair fixed before school.
For many years Christine was not only caring for 12 children, she was also homeschooling them while Meri, Janelle and Kody worked. Kody often traveled for work.
The kids have commented that in a different life, Janelle would have been a hippie. Janelle agreed.
Janelle’s role was what typically is seen from the traditional emotionally disconnected working husband. Christine meet all of those needs a housewife would meet. Christine was Janelle’s “wife”. Kody was Janelle’s lover.
One more thought:
If Kody & Meri are still part of the faith then they together are the link that keeps Leon (Mariah) sealed to them for eternity. That could be Meri’s motivation for staying.
My understanding is, by Christine breaking the eternal marriage seal with Kody, she has severed the eternal link between Kody and his kids. That’s one reason he is so pissed.
I would be willing to bet that Janelle and Christine spent a lot more time together cumulatively than Cody ever spent with either one of them.
I do genealogy and have been learning about what the lds church believes and why they do genealogy. They can seal people that are long since dead and doing this work through their temple gets their ancestors into heaven. I think until they've had their faith divorce ceremony and approval by the church and Christine seals to another spouse (what Sobbyn was saying) that she will stay sealed in eternity to Kody whether they stay together on Earth or not. I may be completely wrong but I found I have an ancestor of mine that was in the faith in Louisiana during the time all lds believed in plural marriage so I started asking questions. He didn't appear to have multiple wives at the same time but then, I'm not in the church so I wldn't have access to those records anyway. One of the members I was speaking to in a genealogy group explained all this very briefly to me. If that's all true too, Meri cld go marry another member who doesn't hate her or think she's an emotional cheater and get sealed to him and still get to heaven. It wldn't affect her adult child who doesn't seem to be in the faith anymore anyway. None of Christine's kids have stayed in it either that I remember/know. If they did, they wld get sealed on their own with their own spouse.
You’ve written the best summary I’ve ever read about them. Thanks. 😊
Janelle knows more than she can say because they want her to react. She knows that they only want one outcome! She’s smart & is not allowing them to gaslight her!
You guys have settled in and are doing a great watch along. The first couple watches your wife was stifling herself. I'm glad she is more comfortable and found her voice. You make a good team
I think the way he behaves towards her is making me uncomfortable. She seems afraid to make him angry.
@J M not my take at all. My take is that she was taking a backseat because this was his schtick and she didn't want to steal his thunder nor was she comfortable in front of a camera.
I love her smile when she announced ....I'm going to be with my children for Thanksgiving. You go girl!!
Your wife is amazing. Thats all I have to say!! When it comes to her comments on Kody she is my spirit animal
How about emotional abuse??? its about his feelings, no compromise and if not follow his rules then he withheld his love.
I have to agree with your wife. I feel like Robin and Kody are working overtime to clean up their imagine because they are getting dragged so bad on social media. Jenelle sees the bs for what it is, and she is completely over it. Kody is backtracking so hard he did imply that the kids have to apologize to him and Robyn now he's like " I just want a conversation to cut the tension and awkwardness" he is full of shit.
You can’t fix lying.
He’s full of 100 dumpsters full of extra strength 🐂💩‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Robyn always frames Kody as a victim, which is what his narcissism wants to hear, so she actually makes his condition WORSE by enabling and it is also what gives her some control over him as long as there will be someone else to blame and project on. When it is just her left...uh oh.
Also, the whole conversation was just a cover tactic.
The whole goal was to further delay Janelle's house plans...goal reached.
Yep...narcs love getting a gang and loooovvvee being enabled. You're correct, however he also has others to focus on destroying but Robyn won't be lucky anymore because everyone else is leaving...so who will Kody pick on now? She should be scared after all she's done to help him destroy his relationships with all his kids and other wives.
I didn't read your whole comment but wow yes! You know narcs. Exactly...when everyone is gonr..then who will Kody pick to deflect, project and destroy Robin? That's narcs, they must have a double life and choose one person close to them, usually a partner, to pick on and destroy.
I’m so glad you both have a microphone this time. Keep these coming.
When Meri and Kody were trying to work on their relationship after the catfishing, their therapist Nancy said they always said more to the camera than to each other and they needed to start saying those things to each other. Kody is saying this to the camera because he is hoping Meri will see this and leave without them having to have the conversation. All of the Brown “adults” half say things in-person frequently leaving room for misunderstandings.
🎯💯
It's his passive aggressive approach
Mrs. Pop is a fantastic addition to the channel!
“Mrs. Pop!” I like that!
Janelle wanted the 1 house because she's the one who actually wants a large family. She saw the value in it. Christine was the one who brought them together. Without them both they loose the glue
And she's the one who keeps the books. One house will consolidate expenses.
Lol. I love Allison! Thanks for these videos between you both. It’s very interesting and funny, too!
Janelle knows Kody better than anyone! I think they really are or were the best of friends and until Robyn I think she was his confidant!
Kody saying “Robyn is the only good communicator here.” Basically means that Robyn is the only person that he listens to. Janelle and Christine would talk and voice their opinions, but Kody just doesn’t listen to them. He hears what he wants to hear.
The kids are surprisingly well-adjusted all things considered.
Because they have Hunter. Logan. Christine. Janelle. Mykelti etc. I mean seriously. The only maladjusted ones will likely come from the McMansion
They don’t want Meri, Janelle and Christine to leave because there goes their show and the money.
Janelle was content with her role as provider and she enjoyed that the other women (i.e. Christine) would manage the home environment. She had her place and she was secure in the family and she has stayed in hopes of getting back to the good place. So many people have stayed in relationships hoping that the bad is a phase and the good is coming back. Hope she does find her happiness separate from him.
Just not having to deal with K and R was probably just like 🤌 chef's 😘
You're right that Robyn's approach is the best approach... she also knows this. She had her talking points ready ahead of time, to make sure she looks good and can point people back to this conversation to say she tried her best with Janelle. Your wife is right that actions are more important than words, and Robyn hasn't been having these conversations privately or tried to solve problems. Like you said, why are they having this conversation two months after Christine leaves instead of the next day? It's because it is a filming day and they needed to save it for the camera. Robyn is manipulative, and knowing the history of the family helps your wife to see that. I enjoy listening to the both of you, and hearing your break downs.