Thanks for bringing this up, because reading this hit me like a ton of bricks! And it makes me wonder if our dear Sandra has learned painful lessons, or made her decisions out of fear? Because she seems to be warning us, as she's preaching so vehemently.
1) Don" t wish your life away. 2) Don" t forget to say " I love you." 3) Don" t dwell in bitterness 4) Don" t have regrets 5) Always listen to your intuition 6) Don" t remain stuck in a situation. Get the wheels out. Use your stuck energy to do something positive. 7) Keep expanding your life 8) Don" t be a part of the herd. Embrace your uniqueness and individuality. Don" t let anyone tell you that you are less than anyone. 8) Don" t expect your children to give back what you did for them.
1. Don’t wish your life away 2.Don’t make promises you can’t fulfill 3.Don’t hide your love 4.Don’t hold onto bitter feelings 5.Don’t ignore your intuition 6.Don’t hang onto regrets 7.Dont get stuck 8.Don’t stop educating yourself 9.Don’t lose your individuality 10.Don’t “expect”your children to pay you back for what you have done for them
I love this list. Ism 65 and found myself in permanent assisted living. No more driving and singing to the radio and no more dating.😉I’ve found that my new best friends are 87-95! They are wise, no anger, appreciation of life and family. The simple gratitude 🙏 I am focusing on religious studies, history, and crocheting. I’m okay. 😊
2:14 1) Don't wish your life away 3:22 2) Don't make promises you can't fulfill 4:59 3) Don't hide your love 6:17 4) Don't hold onto bitter feelings 8:05 5) Don't ignore your intuition 9:16 6) Don't hang onto regrets 11:28 7) Don't get stuck 14:08 8) Don't stop educating yourself 16:13 9) Don't lose your individuality 17:31 10) Don't expect your children to give back what you gave to them
@Adrian Don’t tell others what to do. Free speech. Some of us don’t have time to watch an entire video. And you’ve got no idea, people are likely still giving it a thumbs up no matter what.
Not ONCE did she say “don’t make the mistake of not studying hard” See mom ! I won’t end up washing dishes at a chinese restaurant just cause I don’t study.
When I was only 19, I was diagnosed with a serious incurable disease and I expected that I would die in a few years... At that point I stopped making goals, going to college, stopped planning and dreaming. I'm 40 now, still pretty young and have time. Now there are treatments and the disease can be tamed, still not cured but it's seemless. I'm going back to school and pursuing my career dreams. It wasn't my time but I no longer give up as a victim to my circumstances. Great advice Sandy!
I’m sure your goal here was to inspire and share your story and that’s just what you did. Your growth is contagious. I will take this and apply to me! Thank you 😊
I think I'm in a similar situation. Except mine is a bout of extreme anxiety about the future. A bit of an existential one but I just lost will for anything after fully digested my mortality. I don't know, maybe I have a Maladaptive stress response to things. But I'm still in it and feel hopeless
I would add, “Experience is NOT the only teacher.” You don’t have to go through what others have gone through if you SIMPLY pay attention to what they go through and why. Yes, SOME things DO require experience, but some things we deal with because of an “it won’t happen to me” or an “I don’t care, I’m gonna do it because I want to” mentality, causes us to suffer consequences that we didn’t need to. Thank you for this timeless, ageless wisdom, Lady Sandra! A 43 year old man (Me) is taking this all in.
Yes I wish more people could realize life doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be suffering. It's the mindset, no matter the experience. I hate when ppl say things similar to "well that's life, life is hard". It's too defeating/suffocating to me. Instead I want to strive to always EXPAND into more joy and excitement WITHOUT the growing pains! There may be trials but I will turn that anxiety and trepidation into excitement.
@@hevxhev Agree to an extent. Suffering and life being hard is not always a "mindset" and we need to acknowledge our priveledge to even be able to think that's the case for everyone, because for millions around the world suffering is not a mindset. It's not a mindset for many even around you and not because they want to suffer or are "negative" but because everyone's individual lives are different. Life shouldn't be hard and suffering for anyone but unfortunately for many it is and is out of their hands.
1. Don’t wish your life away 2. Don’t make promises you won’t fulfil 3. Don’t hide your love 4. Don’t hold onto bitter feelings 5. Don’t ignore your intuition 6. Don’t hang onto regrets 7. Don’t get stuck 8. Educate yourself constantly 9. Express your individuality, don’t loose it 10. Don’t put a burden of expectations on your children’s shoulders when it comes to them giving back what you gave to them.
I lost all of my women. Great grandmother, grandmother, and mom. I love this. Thank you for speaking to us and advising us. I feels like your speaking directly to me.
@@Tiamaryln i’m so sorry 🙏 i am sending you love, light, healing strength and resilience to continue to grow in times we feel lost or not even on a direct path. feel all you need to feel. best wishes 🦋
I once heard a mother of three testify that, "Respect is fostered. My kids owe me nothing. They did not ask to be born. I chose to have them. I owe them everything.". She continued by emphasising that her childrens happiness is what matters most, and ended her message to the world with, "Now, my kids are actually fighting over which one will get to take care of me when I get old.". They WANT to take care of her, because she never expected them to. I was envious of her children. My parents are narcissists. I don't know how to forgive my parents for failing to do their job. I have understanding for them, and how they became narcissists, but I have yet to master the art of forgiveness.
2 parents that are narcissists? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… that or you may be falsely accusing people as being narcissists when they just sucked as parents.
@@grumpyschnauzer Everything you are saying could be true. But also, it might not be true. We don't know the person who made this comment and we don't know what they have been through.....Which means we really don't have the power to judge because we don't know. And sometimes the apple does fall VERY far from the tree.... It's just hard for us to admit that there are gray areas of life we don't see because it's been deeply rooted and ingrained in many of us to see things in black and white. Perhaps there's more to the story that we do not see, right?
What a stunning, wise woman. What a gift to have access to these life lessons on TH-cam where youth is so idolized. I'm grateful that you've chosen to share on this platform!
My little addition to this wonderful set of life-advice: Don't stop being the amazing, kind, compassionate and loving human being that you are just because someone unworthy chose to take advantage of your trust. Be who you are, and let that other person be who they are.
Sandra, as someone with a toxic family and a lack of adults in my life helping me navigate adulthood, I really really appreciate your videos. Watching your videos is like talking to the grandmother I've never had. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Exactly. I didn't have the sort of family, parents, & siblings, to share achievements, loves, or losses - but I went on to raise a family with love, kindness and caring - I have broken the cycle.
My immediate family members are toxic. They are not people that you want to share any part of your life with - I’ve had to not be bitter about them and release them from my life. I have beautiful friends & people who care deeply for me.
Im currently in the process of trying my hardest to get classes set up to help train me to better deal with my disability so I can finally join the work force and yesterday my mother told me that I was wasting my time and since it wasn't going to go anywhere anyway Id be better of learning how to do chores and take the necessary steps of becoming an okay enough housewife. That's when I realized that she's benefitting from my lack of education/inability to work so obviously she'd say that it's good for her if I never leave the house and take on even more chores. If anyone's wondering she herself does work. Sorry for rambling the point is that I'm also very thankful for any older people making videos like this geniunely and freely giving the encouragement and advice so many of us desperately need and don't receive at home.
@@acanimatics906 No you are not rambling- you are growing and becoming aware of what is important to you. Keep at it 💕🌸don’t give up! Try to not be very open to your mother about your accomplishments & the good feelings you about yourself. It’s really an awful feeling when you come to the realization of who your family members are. It’s especially hard when it’s your mother- i know the feeling very well. I haven’t lived with my mother for 35 years but she digs into my soul with her negativity. My mother is very selfish & no matter my accomplishments she never misses an opportunity to be negative. Hoping that everything gets better for you, it’s good that you are becoming aware of what is happening. I made excuses for my mother my whole life and I’ve only recently accepted her for who she is and break ties with her. As she never feels she is ever wrong.
#2 - learning to say no: when you start agreeing only to things you really can and want to do, people learn to trust that when you are doing something you are fully committed and want to be there. Also, "no, that won't work for me" is all it takes, you don't need to explain why.
Do be aware, however, that people will then find all sorts of ways to pressure you into changing your mind! I've been saying No to things I don't want to do for YEARS (I'm 74 now) but I've discovered that saying 'No, that's not for me' often results in them saying, 'Oh, but how do you know till you try?-you'll feel differently in a day or so, so I'll ask again-if you won't do it, then neither can I- you need to try new things or you'll get stagnant-maybe we can do it some other time, like next Thursday,' etc. So be prepared to stand your ground and don't give in to pressure or emotional blackmail. A brief polite 'out' ...'I'm sorry, but that's not for me' ...should be enough. The proper polite response should be, 'No problem ...but if you change your mind, let me know.' However, many people will immediately begin to try to squash your reason for refusal. So don't make excuses or get into a debate about it. If your initial polite excuse is not enough to make them back off, just fall back on that good old word 'No.' Repeated often enough, eventually No WILL sink in. The alternative is you will get trapped into whatever it is you don't want to do. Resentment will follow.
I’m turning 28 shortly and I’m starting to feel like time is speeding up despite being young. The mornings come faster and it’s scaring me a little. I’ve been feeling stuck lately and this video helped me! It was nice to hear from someone with experience and wisdom. I needed to hear these things, xoxo thank you.
Im 19 and me too, since the pandemic, I felt days became eternally long during lockdown and the second we left they sped up x5. It feels overbaring to wake up and it feels like in 5 mins youre in bed again. definitely felt stuck too bvecause of it
I really related to this! Age aside, mornings really have sped up for me too lately.. especially in the midst of getting back to “normalcy” after the worldwide events we’ve experienced lately. I felt comforted and really inspired listening and learning from her💕
This is a natural part of getting older and becoming more aware of the human condition. It's good to be aware that our time on this planet is limited and we should make the most of our time. Don't let it overwhelm you though. Just get on with life and be awake for it. The good stuff and even the rough times. You still have your life ahead of you and I wish you the best of luck!
Time is not linear, so that feeling is an illusion. You can detach from that and live totally outside of that linear time construct. I'm 52 and feel exactly as I did at 17 as often as not. You have all the time in the world and the reason for living is just to BE.
At 32, I decided to go into nursing school when I was told at 18 that I'm "not smart enough for it". Turns out I would make a very good nurse, and being 32 years old isn't going to stop me!
I'm 26 and I really want to become a nurse. I went back to college to proceed nursing school. I feel like I'm too late for it. But I don't want to be afraid forever. Let's be great nurses someday ❤❤✨
Hello Sandra! I'm 14, I have my cat asleep on my lap, and I'm questioning my life. I've struggled with depression from a very young age and I've always thought a bit too deeply about life. You've taught me to take life as it comes and find joy in the little things, which has brought meaning and hope back into my life. I have so much respect and appreciation for you. Thank you for everything you do. Peace and love from Australia.
Hey, thats cool! Im 16 and live at an island near australia. Once i found God I followed the Bible and loved Jesus. This just gives an inclination to live lovingly and joyfully in all circumstances. Do you know Jesus?
Hey Spoon! It’s already a good thing that you’re conscious about this, about your depression and all the questioning you’ve been doing. I’m 30 now and I’ve struggled with depression basically my entire life, since my childhood. I didn’t know at that time, but that’s what it was. All you need is the tools to be present and conscious, staying with all the feelings you’re experiencing right now without avoiding them. Embrace all that comes to you, embrace all the sadness, the struggles, all bad and good emotions. You’re still so young and already have the vocabulary to express what you’re going through. It’s not easy at all, it’s a big thing. ❤️
Cool to see another young person on this journey. This is the kind of video I would've watched at 14. When I was 14 seven years ago, I would google life advice from elderly people and read and watched what their regrets and lessons for the young were. I believe you're a kind and intelligent soul with many gifts to give the world. Thinking deeply is an enormous gift and sometimes a tough burden to bear when young. Your comment strikes me as a sign of an intelligent young woman. Listen to yourself and your gut above all else. Once you graduate school and go out into the world, you will see how unique and immensely valuable your gifts are. Sending loving kindness from Los Angeles
You're such a lovely lady. I'm 23 and sometimes I feel like it's already too late for me to change my life. You inspired me to stop thinking about my past regrets and start living. I'm so thankful❤
One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard is from Nelson Mandela - “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” I refer back to it often. I’m enjoying your videos very much! I feel like I made a wise new friend. Thank you 🙏🏼
She’s so beautiful. She radiates a glowing and contented inner being. Very few people possess this quality so visibly in their countenance and demeanor. Thank you, Sandra.
I am 62. lost my family because bad decisions I made and other reasons. I live alone since then, have almost no friends. I managed to overcome the situation psychologicaly and even take advantage of it to learn and grow. But lately I was kind of losing the road. Your advice about wishing this and that put me on the road again. I feel many of us are so grateful to you for uploading your knowledge. Love and kisses from Leon,MX. ;)
I grew up on a small dairy farm with all the problems that involves with 7 brothers and sisters. I heard my mother say that more than any other words of wisdom. "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" I think that idea must be in the BIBLE somewhere ! ! ! :) :) :)
I hope she sees your comment, this video really opened up a nice conversation with my husband. We are 55 yrs. old. I’m feeling lost and stuck myself, and I sure hope you find something that resonates with you to help break the cycle you’re in. 🌸
all these "advices" dont have any meat on them. you read them and think. ok? what does it actually mean it's not concrete enough to work with. it's like common knowledge but without the practicality of it. you just can't give these broad tips that won't work for everyone individualy. find your own happyness and truth i guess. she just gives out tips that worked for her without going for details as to why it worked for her
@@littleorange6361 all these "advices" dont have any meat on them. you read them and think. ok? what does it actually mean it's not concrete enough to work with. it's like common knowledge but without the practicality of it. you just can't give these broad tips that won't work for everyone individualy. find your own happyness and truth i guess. she just gives out tips that worked for her without going for details as to why it worked for her
To everything she said, my instinct said “that is absolutely right”. I’m 23yo Japanese, was feeling so stuck in a situation, but how she supported me with her wise words making me so at peace and energized was remarkable. This is one of the reasons that I’m glad I understand English, that I find inspiring people like her from the wide global sea of information. Thank you very much Sandra. As I was listening to this video I wrote down all your tips in my journal so that I can look back when I’m ever again feeling lost. Wishing you a wonderful day, and life!!
You are born into a beautiful culture and life is just starting for you,, embrace what comes your way and learn from it. I am 85 and when challenges faced me I asked myself: What lesson am I supposed to learn here. It never failed me.
I found your channel today. It's been nice listening to you. I am 49 years old, I want to thank you for transmitting such positive messages, I am still studying languages, history, and everything that I consider helps me to be better. A big hug.💖
I'm only 33, but I hope you'd agree to add this: It's completely fine to care about your looks but if you don't want to spend a lot of time doing make-up, shaving, trying to be super thin, if you don't want to wear high heels, manicure, hair, whatever, just don't. There is a lot of other wonderful and meaningful things to do instead of doing something that others force you to do and it's just fine to be your natural self if you wish to.
Yes but don't let others berate or shame you for doing those things. Go ahead and wear heels. Shave or wax every hair on your whole body except your scalp. There's no shame in doing these things. None. As long as you aren't hurting yourself in the process, go for it.
I am 66 and while all of these on the list are vitally important, number 10 is important for me to remember. We choose to bring children into the world and they owe us nothing. My only wish for my children is that they are happy and self sufficient. Meanwhile I make and live my own life.
Don’t be in a hurry to get married. If all your friends are married and you are not, it’s okay. Seek advice and counsel of people who have been married for a long time before you get married. If you marry for the first time at forty years old, it’s fine. Be comfortable with who you are before marrying anyone.
I am in my teen years and never properly had a grandmother or grandmother figure, but watching this video makes me feel like I'm sitting down with my grandma with a cup of tea talking about life. Thankyou Sandra❤❤
These kind of advices are so necessary for everyone! No matter the age, Im 27 now and all I’ve learned that nobody really knows what they are doing with their lives, we are all just doing the best we can
It's wise to heed good advice from those who "KNOW" while you're still young. I actually did that. Smartest thing I've ever done. I swear, I've had the best life because I took good advice as a youth. I'm 65+ now, and I have no regrets. I went through every open door. Do that.
Hi Sandra!! I'm 15 and I'm currently not in a great place (I won't go into much detail as I don't feel very comfortable expressing that on the internet haha), but I just wanted to say that I appreciate this video and your TH-cam channel so much! Thank you for lending me and so many others a helping hand!! Greetings from The Netherlands :)
When I was your age I also was not in a good place. Now all these yrs later I can promise you if you remain focused on staying strong mentally, physically and determined to grow financially you will be extremely happy in time. Understand that what we go thru in life allows us to grow from our troubles and become stronger if we choose to. LOVE yourself and distance yourself from negativity as much as you can. God bless you and remember your life ahead is blessed! Choose happiness you will overcome!
I'm in my 20's and this couldn't have come at a better time. My heart has really been hurting, and I've been feeling really stuck and lost and only recently started rebuilding trust with myself and slowly relearning to recognize my intuition again. Needed this thank you.
I absolutely loved this video. One bit of advice I want to add is to not constantly be thinking of the future, be sure to enjoy the "now" and be present. I understand that with struggles, it can be hard to not think of the future constantly, but always be sure that whenever you can, live in the moment!
I’m a 33 year old man who has the good fortune of having several elders that are still in my life. I make dinner for my 91 year old grandma and her cousins (all 9 of her siblings and my grandpa have passed away) and each time I learn so much from just listening to them all talk. They’re so appreciative towards me for making them dinner but I don’t think they realize that I will have memories of them and their conversations long after they’re gone. Well, I’m sure they do realize it but maybe they don’t know how much it means to me or how grateful I am and aware of how much I appreciate them. I wouldn’t go to a party of people my age and quite frankly can’t stand to be around most people but the contentedness of a wise, older person to listen to is irreplaceable.
My #1 thing ive learned ... Don't make a decision under the pressure of someone else . Walk away and think about it first . Don't let others pressure you in their presence or while they are looking at you. Or at least turn away , walk away where you don't feel their pressure and take your time to think . Especially in a financial situation. Tell them you will think about it and let them know in a few days .
Additionally: Even if you say yes, you can always remove your consent. Just because I got asked to do something and said I will do it (regardless of under pressure or not), doesn't meant that I can't change my opinion afterwards and say I decline.
My list at 62: 1. Say something complimentary to at least one person every day. 2. Find the humour. Even if it has to be dark humour. 3. Learn at least one new thing everyday. 4. Travel adventurously. 5. Shut. Up. 6. Share knowledge with generosity. 7. Treat others the way you want to be treated. 8. Dress to please yourself. 9. Have a lot of sex, including with yourself. 10. Hug. A lot.
I'm 26 years old, and I already have problems with releasing past mistakes and regrets, and you are absolutely right about it: regretting about the past just drain me and take the energy from me. The fact that these mistakes are not really bad or serious don't do things better for me. I am working on giving more love and forgiveness to myself, because such way of living is definitely not a good way to live another 100 years of my future life. Thank you for your advices, they echoed in my heart.
It is always good to take some time to think over things you're going through; whether it's a regret, or that someone hurt you or upset you. You need to process your thoughts and feelings. Deal with it(forgive,apologize if you should ,think -how could I have handled this better, are there boundaries that I need to create) then give yourself permission to let it go . Not everything will make sense; because you can't make sense of nonsense. But, you still need to learn and let go.
A perspective I got from a Khloee Taylor podcast was to see it in a way where your past self did what they did to protect you from what was happening at that time. As time goes on, situations change and therefore parts of us change. Hold your past self with love and gratitude for the protection it provided and let it go when it no longer serves our greatest good.
My tips as a 37yo are for relationships: 1 - Tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them every single day. If you have a compliment to give, give it on the spot. 2 - Don't go to bed with something left unsaid, or angry. If you're upset, talk about it immediately. Explain your feelings, invite a conversation - don't yell or blame. Talk and find a solution together. Never, ever, go to bed upset at your companion. This comes from my own relationship of 20 years with my partner. These are our rules and our relationship is our haven and bliss. New people we meet think we are a cute new couple 😂 I love this video so much! Thank you.
I don't agree with the second one. If it works for you, great, but sometimes you just need to sleep your anger away in order to talk things out. Different people have different amounts of times they require to cool off, and sometimes it's not smth they did, sometimes you're just angry cause you've been eating unhealthy food all day and your brain is punishing you for it, or whatever hormones involved into it. Sometimes it's best to let it be, and then come back to it when you're both ready to talk about it. It won't whither your relationship, it'll just teach you more about the partner you love and their tendencies
@@sin3358 I second this- Ive had hours long discussions with my spouse, when we are both tired, our thoughts aren't clear, we haven't had time to think about how we really felt about situation or what we are trying to say...in contrast with waiting it out a day, journaling about what is really underneath our disagreement and having a conversation that has resolution. I think the danger is letting the issue fizzle, but never really resolving it, and years of resentment build up..now that is a problem.
Mine would be to not refer to your significant other as partner. We have words for these people. Words matter. Proper words show respect to them. If you simply *must* be vague, significant other, as I used above, works just fine.
I’m in my early 20s and just graduated from college. Literally everything has been changing and I’ve been pulled in all different directions lately. I’ve felt lost and confused, but your advice really helped me out! There’s still a lot for me to learn about life, so thanks for helping me feel less scared ❤️
Im the same age as you and I just wanted to say: I feel the same way you do. But it's important to remember you're not alone. I'm not alone. We go through this together and I'm sure we will make it through 💕☺️
I am 91 years old. I had my first heart attack 33 years ago, but it is under control. Other than that I'm doing fine and need no help from anyone. I'm one of the lucky ones, but I also made my own luck. Have a good education and work hard. It worked for me. Oh, yeh, and don't make stupid choices.
As a 23 year old currently going through the struggles of what is expected of me in my 20s, this is inspirational. Not only for right now but beyond. Thank you 🌹.
As a 35 guy... Make these three things your priority, in this order: 1. Health, both physical and mental they are intertwined, cant stress this enough, good sleep, good food, good habits because as you age it will deteriorate rapidly of you dobt take care of it like its most ptescious thing. 2. Friends and family(but if they are toxic then just focus on friends) I put friends ahead of spouse because you might not find a spouse but you can find and keep friends for life, get 2 or 3 really really good ones if you can, if they have family and you dont be part of it, babysit their kids etc. Cheerish friends and social life. 3. Spouse, find if you can a "good" one and even if not make kid or kids you can always dovorce atleast you will have kids that of you treat them well will enrich your life immensly. Rest doesnt matter at all.
in my almost 33, it's even harder to feel the same. I will say a trite thing, but your adult life is just beginning, don't beat yourself up for anything
@@outlander234 You know, my almost extinguished-younger self would've been horrified at that last piece of advice, present older me however... Knows unfortunately that life is anything but what you'd initially wished and hoped for it to be so... Yeah guess best thing to do is to simply grasp EVERY opportunity there is, no matter how "imperfect" bcse real chances are you won't get better ones.
I am 16 years old and suffer from depression, loneliness and study pressure, but you have given me positive energy for life. I feel happy from your words. Your channel gives me energy for life. Thank you and I love you😢
Get to the root of it now... why are you depressed, lonely, at 16? Why do you have study pressure, you've been in school at least the last 10 years so consider yourself an expert at studying, that may help with the pressure. You've been a student longer than some may have been teachers! Nothing they can give you that you can't answer or figure out... change your perspective and what you focus on.. find the positive in it all. Seek God through it all.
MY two cents, for what it's worth...Never make life changing decisions when your tired, sick or grieving. Never make promises when your excited, depressed or angry. Never loan money to anyone, including your friends or family, you're not a bank. I've learned some hard lessons in life, that I don't want to repeat. I rarely make promises anymore and my life changing decisions are well thought out, because when we realize time is running out, we stop wasting time and money.
you are so right!!!!!!!!!!after 10 years i am going to ask them back.its about my dignity and respect to my self.this amount of money has been between our "friendship".
Sandra, I cannot express how grateful I am for finding your video. At this stage of my 40s, I have been feeling stuck and uncertain about my life. Your tips have resonated deeply with me, and I wholeheartedly agree with every single one you mentioned. Your words are not only encouraging and inspiring but also filled with love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤
For us mature women, take care of your body and your skin but don't be a fanatic about antiaging and mourn every sag. Take that bod that you have and go out and have some fun in it!
the "being stuck" part really hit me hard because that is the space I have been in for a while. i feel stuck and in limbo unsure where to take my life...
My first husband was such a bad person. Looking back on my marriage with him it makes me sick to think of our toxic relationship. Thank God he removed him through the prison system. He has been their for almost 30 years. I've had to work very hard to let that part of my life go..except for wonderful son whom I love dearly. Hugs and love, Alicia
Alicia, I am so happy that you were able to get out of that relationship. So many women stay until it’s too late. It looks like Karma got him in the end. You do have to let go of that negative part in your life. It’s a blessing that from that relationship you have a wonderful child. He will get back to the world what your husband took away❤️
I’m very sorry that happened to you but don’t regret it totally, you’ve gotten the gift of a beautiful son from the marriage that you suffered through. Thank God you and your son made it!!!
Hi Sandra, I wanted to thank you for this video. As a 21 year old I've planned my career out and I'm happy with the direction, however I've noticed I keep thinking "I wish I could go into fashion design" or "if I was rich I'd become a fashion designer". I realised with your words that I clearly want to do this, and I decided once i complete my university course and get a job, I will start classes in making clothes and designing them. I love my educational career and will continue it, but I love fashion too, and I won't wish my life away. Thank you again Sandra
you're only 21. It's not too late! You're just getting started. Go do it. If I had realized just how young I was at 21 I wouldn't have let anything stop me. You're sooo young. Pursue your desires. You won't regret it.
I am 46 and quit my 22 year healthcare career to chase my passion work. I am starting from scratch but I am much happier and very excited! I also have learned to pause before I speak. Never loan money, ever. Walk away from anyone who is not genuine, when they show you their true colors, just smile and walk away. My family hangs and hangs and hangs and did I say HANGS onto the past and my goodness, it's like slow dying to me. Speak your truth and don't let anyone dim your light!
@John Smith what a ridiculous comment. Canada is one of the most free of all countries. It is beautiful with wonderful people. I have lived in a handful of different countries & through those experiences I have become grateful to call Canada home. 🇨🇦
I would add: 1) Don't be insecure, If you aren't confident - learn to be confident, it is possible, fake it till you make it, try hard for a couple of years, I promise you, your life will change drastically, for better 2) Also don't be afraid to speak your mind, practice being always straightforward and painfully honest, it's better for you and trust me, people will love that about you 3) Don't ignore your mental health 4) Don't ignore your overall health
to being brutally honest you should probably add " but ask if you opinion is needed". i had few extremely "honest"friends who, eventually started feel like very toxic people who think everyone needs a piece of their honest mind on everything, including how do I look or what choices make for my life
That's true but also pressure of being confident is what is making me feel insecure. I have mentall issues but constantly I feel that people are looking for perfection and confidence. Why I can't be shy?
Thanks so much Sandra. These are wonderful tips. I have added a few. There may be overlaps. 1. Be grateful for everything you have. Let it be your health, spouse, friends, children etc. 2. Acknowledge all the good fortunes in your life. 3. Try to do things mindfully - even things that are considered mundane like washing dishes or sweeping the floor. 4. Try living more in the present and less in the past that is gone and the future that is yet to materialize. 5. Do not fail to give complements when they seem appropriate. You many never know that you have made the day for someone. 6. Never make comparisons of yourself to others. We are all unique in our own way.
Such wise words! One more note: don't get attached to things, all things are actually just rented and the fact that you need them is often an illusion.
You are amazing! God bless you! So true !Thanks for sharing. PS my aunt lives in Saint Augustine too. Ohio women are amazing women. My one acct is from clevland ohio.
I turned 60 in April. As we get older we realize we hold the keys to our lives. Not looking to the world for validation. Relying on our intuition (God's guidance and voice within us)is so important for all decisions. Enjoyed time with you today, I think your outlook is lovely.
I have a question, I’m pretty young I would say, but I’ve just realized how stupid we all are about how much we care what OTHER people think, especially strangers. I’m either gonna forget or not meeting any of these strangers ever again (most of the time) and yet I still feel the need to be accepted by them, and I think this is wired to everyone’s brains from the start. And the more I look around, I realize older people don’t have this as much. They literally do not care about others opinions other than their close relations. Is that something that has occurred to you? Cause personally, this has brought a big change to my life. I’m sorry if I don’t make much sense in my comment, I just don’t know how to explain it thoroughly.
@@wildk5367 I think you did a beautiful job explaining it. Blessings Sister. Change your life help others this is where our time and efforts should be spent. The payback is immeasurable.
Your voice is so comforting, soothing, therapeutic.I struggle with bipolar disorder and it was really hard to get up this morning.Thank you for being a game changer
Sandra, I lost all my grandparents while being a teenager/early 20s. I absolutely love listening to you and all your advice and all the conversations you have with us. You are truly lovely and I’d hope to be half the woman you are with all your wisdom in my 80s
What I would add ; never doubt your potential to do great things regardless of your circumstances as well, no matter how far away something might seem 🙂
As a 12 year old girl. I really appreciate your advice grandma. I really do, I may be a kid but it doesn't mean I'm not raising them as well. After my heartbreak I was so stuck in my bed and crying but now. I feel a lot better at your advice grandma! I hope you'll live a long and healthy life
I came across this video I thought by accident. But I now know that I needed to hear what you had to say dear and sweet lady. God bless you for your teachings. You are a gift from God!
According to Bronnie Ware, one of the most common near death regrets is "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself." That resonates a lot with me. It’s not that I choose to go through life as a misfit. What I mean is that it’s me who decides the life that I want lo lead, and thus the set of “rules” that I’m going to follow. Coherence and consistency give you peace of mind. My life, my rules. No one else’s.
Your comment made me emotional. I always try to stray true to myself and it's not easy feeling like you continuously go against the mainstream but words like this bring me peace. Thanks.
I am 26 and I’m so happy I stumbled on this video. I’ve been feeling stuck, regretting the past, and not feeling good enough so I needed this. My only advice to add is when you know you did something wrong hold yourself accountable and apologize. Try to make time to self reflect on what you can do better. Don’t beat yourself up and also don’t ignore the issue.
At almost 60yo, I realized staying in the emotionally abusive relationship I was in for 15 years was partly my responsibility. When I recognized how unhealthy it was, I stayed with "hope" that he would change. That my love would surely make him see our lives could be so much better. Yes, trauma bonds are horrible, but I know part of me wanted to be revered as the intelligent patient woman that helped him 'see the light' and be lavished with grateful love from then on. That is very unhealthy, of course, but I just didn't understand it before. I'm grateful to no longer live in that delusional fantasy. I don't hate him, I just don't have to be married to him. ❤
I'm in tears. My only grandfather died when I was 12 and my grandmother never liked me cuz I was born out of wedlock and so I've never had such conversations. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
I'm 22 yrs old at the time I'm writing this. The part about not hanging onto regrets hit me hard, because I'm still so sad about the past. It hurts to think back and sometimes makes it hard to look forward and have hope; but when I do live in the moment and don't think about my past regrets, I have better chances to be happy. My tip(s) I'd like to add is/ are: Leave people be, and do your own thing, as long as they or you aren't hurting anyone. Being less hateful, letting go of hate, will make you feel better about how you feel about yourself too. Try to find a way to express your opinions and thoughts without putting out more hate into this world. I made a rule to myself: be kinder. Don't direct hate at people who aren't trying to hurt and didn't meant to hurt anyone. Basically, I will hold myself back from directing hate to someone on the internet because it's easy to fall into that headspace of anger and hate (to me at least). It isn't always that easy, but I am trying. Thank you for taking the time to read this until the end. Have a nice day and take care.
You're 22, how much "past" could you have? Talk to me when you're 52, then we have something to work with! There's major changes with each DECADE you live through. Keep a journal from now to forever and when you go back and reread about your life, I promise you, you will laugh at the concerns you had at 22! Now ---- Get out and see the world, backpack around Europe, see the entire United States one state at a time, take lots of pictures and taste all the different foods from all over and then we can talk! Pack lightly and take a blank journal. Find some park benches and people watch. Take notes. One day you'll put it all into a book! Visit old, old cemeterys and read the toombstones. You'll laugh and cry. Just remember that little --- dash --- between the years represents a life either poorly lived or well lived. Thank me under your breath, just have a good time. Oh, and absolutely GO ALONE and be aware of your surroundings. God be with you, and remember to look up and say "thank you."
@@georgiafrancis9059 her advices can be great for someone who is younger. I'm only twenty but I have a plenty of advices I could give myself when I was a teenager
I'm watching this at 28 and I'm very grateful to have stumbled upon your channel. So many life advice channels are full of fluff but you get straight to the point and have your own personal experiences to share to drive those points home. I look forward to continuing to absorb any wisdom you are willing to share. 💗
I'm 29 and an aspect of my life has not been unfolding the way I thought it would. Both of my grandmothers have passed, and this video was SO WELCOME right now: I miss the presence of wise women! Thank you, Sandra! My little addition is TELL THE TRUTH! Of course that doesn't mean be rude, but living your life openly and without the complication of lies or half-truths is the way to go. Your whole life gets simpler and you feel like the best version of yourself for everyone.
my husband is afraid that I die before him but my thought is without each other life is meaningless I will choose death anyway - he seemed not understand to be together each day is more important for unknown future
@@tanickasinclair7035 it's hard to deal with a mother that lies. It forces me to always be honest to a fault. Towards the end of my mom's life (she was 88) it got even harder to deal with her. I feel for you
Genuinely, thank you so so much for posting. I’m 19 years old and the one grandma that I was close with passed when I was in middle school and it’s only now as I enter my young adulthood that I seek out generational advice without any sort of bias and this one video alone has been a great source of comfort and knowledge.
Your statement on trusting your intuition is spot on! I've never been done wrong or sent down the wrong path when I trusted my gut feeling. I absolutely look forward to hearing your wisdom thank you so much!
@@lifewithsandrahart What if you can’t “hear/feel” your intuition? What does this mean and how can you get over it? I’ve struggled with this for a very long time.
@@kittycat1302 This is not exactly about intuition but there's something called alexander-technique, which is a set of principles which in practice teach you how to make more conscious decisions, become more body aware. I suppose that could help. Gotta take lessons for it.
I was looking for this channel for about a week or two already and I finally found it. I want to thank you for your advice grandma. Watching this video was unexpected for me because I had my settings to auto next after listening to a song then this played. After listening I never thought it would make a difference but hearing you say "Don't wish your life away" really hit me to the core. I've always said to myself "I wish I could ride a motor bike, like those teenagers below my age" my mindset was always about wishing things that I want to do but just didn't for the fear of being hurt. The day after I listened to your advice I started learning to ride a motor bike by myself. Falling again and again while trying to think about how to make things work was fun and exhausting. I mean I've never ridden a bike before so I kept remembering the advice my friends told me on how to start riding a bike but doing it with the motor bike. It's weird but it somehow worked anyways. I now can ride a motor bike in the highway by myself. Taking action was the main issue I had with the things I wanted to do and the lack of resources too. But I was finally able to break out from my she'll and made my wish come true.
Im just 18 so probably not part of the targeted audience but it showed up in my recommendation and I have to say it was very inspiring to hear those things because sometimes I feel like I already should have done so many things even though I’m still young and it stresses me out. I felt stuck in my mind and the negative habits. Really enjoyed watching it
I recently turned 17 and I really understand you. I feel like I should be doing more, and I can't stop comparing myself to others even though I know every history is different
You are definitely the targeted audience. Did you watch the first one? Don't wish your life away, just do it! Someone should tell people this at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20....80, 81, 82, and on!
Hello Sandra, I'm 19. A few months ago I decided investing time into self-improvement. This video has touched my soul and motivated me, sometimes, actually most of the time I feel going anywhere... I'm learning how to create myself, how to love myself, my boundaries, my goals... Thank you for the advice! 🌹 English is my second language, hope people who are reading can understand it 🥺
Thank you for sharing, and your English is amazing ❤ I am also investing in myself for the first time ever in my mid-twenties now, and I have never felt better!
I’m quite impressed with your curiosity to click on this video. I would guess you have an inquisitive mind and wish you much success. I’m over fifty and wish I’d been able to incorporate these guardrails in my own life when I was 19. In my humble opinion you seem to be on a path to creating a solid foundation on which to build your future…be well and stay curious.
Im 23 and this gave me so much perspective! I often regret a lot of my past and not doing what i should have done- but like you said its such a waste of energy. From here on out I'm looking forward 💕
I almost cried with this video, and this beautiful and incredibly Lady. I'm 18 now, and I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to listen all of this advices. I've been feeling so lost about my life, but videos like this one, are helping me a lot, and I can say that, internet is good when we have the capacity to limit ourselves about how we should use it.
Carolyn. I am so completely touched. I’m so sorry you lost your mother from Alzheimer’s. Arthur’s mother also had Alzheimer’s so I know how difficult it is on everyone. I am glad that you have wonderful memories of her and so humbled that I remind you of her.❤️
Do not overestimate your understanding either because you only have some 5 years left before the wall when the dynamics shift radically, socially, psychologywise and bodily. Are you able to compromise or not, are you the dominant one or not? Certain things will define your future even now. Depending on the answer, you may consider investing in a wine company. Ask what percentage of single old childless women portray it as glamorous and great. But if you have no intention of being the feminine wife to begin with, you are making the right choice, likewise if you think you have time forever.
Don't put up with toxic people, even if they are relatives. You are better off without them. You don't get to pick your siblings, so don't feel guilty if you don't want them in your life. I learned this very late in my life, I wish I had done it in my earlier years.
Yes, toxic people feed off of us nice folks!😜 If you want them out of your daily life, I would just move away and keep things positive between you and them but move on. Don’t leave in a sour note.
Hi Sandra, I very much find you to be inspiring. I watch you several times a week and you really speak to my issues. I will be 87 years old this dec. 2024. I'm very healthy, go to the gym almost every day. I am very particular about what I eat and prepare my own meals. I do have a problem making friends. That is a big void in my life. Otherwise I have a nice comfortable home with my poodle and cat. I recently read Dr. Sanja Gupta's book and follow a lot of the things he recommends, especially try to learn something new every day. Thanks again
I’m 31 and I already agree with everything you have said here. The biggest takeaway is managing expectations! Don’t expect anything from life or others, and it’ll open you up to being pleasantly surprised by things seeming to go your way. Give your time/patience/love/money because you want to, not because you expect it to be transactional. It cuts away a lot of unnecessary self-inflicted stress! You have a very soothing presence and voice, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I’d like to add something else: “stop wasting your money buying stuff you don’t want or need just to fell accepted by our society or to fill the void in your life” Thanks for the video everything you said is so true I hope all of us put it into practice
Sandra, you are so right. And, in my personal journey, I’ve learned to stop apologizing for being who I am in living my life. I have received so much unsolicited condescending advice from acquaintances over the years. I have to admit Covid shutdown helped me weed out unfruitful acquaintances.
That is one thing about Covid. We know exactly who are true friends are. Good for you to shut out all the negativity around you. Surround yourself with positive energy and the people around you. Best wishes and thank you so much for sharing today❤️
Thank you for this. I came across your channel and as a 33 year old woman I loved this! I’ve been having a rough couple of years and you gave me hope! Thank you ❤
I'm 16 and I've been having trouble with thinking about my past for a 16 year old I've been through a lot but this helped me realize that I need to let go and live my life thank you so much! Before I know it my teenage years will be done.
Old man here: The most important lesson I share with my young is to choose your company wisely! If you do that the rest of the pieces will fall into place and if you don't it won't matter how high your IQ or what degree hangs on your wall or how much money you earn if you choose poorly you are burned toast. At 18 no one shared that wisdom with me and at 38 I paid dearly for my ignorance. Should you encounter damaged goods don't walk away RUN! I'm 71.
unrelated question, but do you have a favorite album? from any genre? I ask this question to many people because I find it interesting to see what music has stuck to them the most. :-)
My mother called me "damaged goods" because I finally opened my mouth about what she knew the whole time (since infancy!) with my dad had been going on. She told me I was a "gutter girl," that I had "no future," and that "no one decent would ever love" me. *She was dead wrong.* Sticks and stones, I know. I shouldn't let it bother me. But words can hurt, sometimes unintentionally. Perhaps you might consider choosing your words more carefully. Then again, one could say I proved your point. And hers. Maybe I really AM "damaged goods." Maybe she was right. Sigh. Other than that, I wholeheartedly agree.
No you are not late . There is still hope . People marry even when they are 50 and beyond . Even if you remain single all your life you can still lead a life worth living
I would like to add to not be afraid to ask for help especially when it comes with mental health. From an early age I was expected to be strong in every way. If you show weakness then it means you lost the battle, so I rather kept quiet with my issues. Therefore I internalized a lot and defaulted to labeling my issues as “taboo.” Now at 39, I finally accepted and recognized that I needed help and it’s the best thing I ever did. All thanks to my teenage daughter who advocated for herself. She needed help but I didn’t want to believe her at first but she persisted and I’m glad she did because it forced me to deal with my own issues as well. We’re both getting the help we need and our relationship has strengthened so much more. Our communication is much better and stronger now that we are comfortable at being vulnerable with each other. We’re in a better place now because of it.
hola, si pudieras traducir este mensaje sería increíble. Con mucho respeto encuentro muy similar cuando dices que habían muchas expectativas en ti , tengo 18 años y desde pequeña mostré más dedicación que mis otros hermanos en los estudios y siento que eso me está causando graves problema ahora, porque hasta unos 2 años pensaba que estudiar lo era todo y de verdad que estudiaba todo el día, hasta que por la pandemia el último año de bachillerato entre en depresión con pesadillas y hasta parálisis del sueño y perdí el bachillerato. Eso fue lo más duro que me había pasado porque era importantísimo, paso un año y medio después que me recupere de la depresión pero los efectos como la parálisis del sueño nunca se fueron y no tienen cura. Además de que mi meta era y es estudiar medicina, los problemas para dormir que tengo se sienten como si tuviera una discapacidad ya que tengo que estudiar y es imposible no dormir 8 horas y a la misma hora todos los días. Esto ha causado que me sienta muy perdida y desesperada por encontrar la motivación que perdí desde el incidente del bachillerato. Alguien tiene un consejo porque mi deseo de que el día dure más de 24 horas no se hará realidad y las expectativas que tienen sobre mi se han vuelto una carga pesada. 🛐🛐🛐
Sandra, I just ran across your ",over sixty" and I find my life and your philosophy are hand in hand. I agree 100% and have lived it and still am at 89. I love life and feel regret that my youth and beauty have changed but still feel young and beautiful inside. I don't "what if" and "I can't because I'm too old". I'm loved, I'm admired, I'm unique and enjoy every day. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Very good advice we should all take to heart! One lesson I wish I'd learned before 40: be your own friend and advocate. Listen to your own needs and don't spend the precious little time you have on people who make you feel bad about yourself.
Thank GOODNESS you are doing this!!! My mom is 84 and I told her she should do this! It's the MOST important thing. To listen to our grandparents and their lives, advice, thoughts, and what they've seen throughout their life time. Its a WEALTH of education!!
I never grew up with a grandmother, hearing you speak from the heart about your experiences is exactly what I've been needing to follow my dreams. Thank you !!!
I’d like to add this: never make decisions based on what you’re afraid of. Make decisions based on what you desire.
Yes! My go-to in decision-making: Fear? Or Fun? Only the latter gets my continued attention.
Thanks for bringing this up, because reading this hit me like a ton of bricks!
And it makes me wonder if our dear Sandra has learned painful lessons, or made her decisions out of fear?
Because she seems to be warning us, as she's preaching so vehemently.
Excellent, excellent advice.❤️
Aging has brought me a lot of fears and phobias. How do you cure that?
I agree!
1) Don" t wish your life away.
2) Don" t forget to say " I love you."
3) Don" t dwell in bitterness
4) Don" t have regrets
5) Always listen to your intuition
6) Don" t remain stuck in a situation. Get the wheels out. Use your stuck energy to do something positive.
7) Keep expanding your life
8) Don" t be a part of the herd. Embrace your uniqueness and individuality. Don" t let anyone tell you that you are less than anyone.
8) Don" t expect your children to give back what you did for them.
2) dont make promises u cant keep.
Thanks for sharing
🙏😘🙏
Thanks for listing!💕
Listen to the whole video tho, she’s got nuggets
1. Don’t wish your life away
2.Don’t make promises you
can’t fulfill
3.Don’t hide your love
4.Don’t hold onto bitter
feelings
5.Don’t ignore your intuition
6.Don’t hang onto regrets
7.Dont get stuck
8.Don’t stop educating
yourself
9.Don’t lose your
individuality
10.Don’t “expect”your
children to pay you back
for what you have done
for them
Thank you for summarizing for us! 😄 Excellent advice.
Thank you!!
Q
I love this list. Ism 65 and found myself in permanent assisted living. No more driving and singing to the radio and no more dating.😉I’ve found that my new best friends are 87-95! They are wise, no anger, appreciation of life and family. The simple gratitude 🙏 I am focusing on religious studies, history, and crocheting. I’m okay. 😊
I adore number 10 oml
Can we appreciate how pretty granny looks?
Stunning
gorgeous
She is so SO pretty!
2:14 1) Don't wish your life away
3:22 2) Don't make promises you can't fulfill
4:59 3) Don't hide your love
6:17 4) Don't hold onto bitter feelings
8:05 5) Don't ignore your intuition
9:16 6) Don't hang onto regrets
11:28 7) Don't get stuck
14:08 8) Don't stop educating yourself
16:13 9) Don't lose your individuality
17:31 10) Don't expect your children to give back what you gave to them
Omg you’re a champ
Thank you so much!
Thank you so much
@Adrian Don’t tell others what to do. Free speech. Some of us don’t have time to watch an entire video. And you’ve got no idea, people are likely still giving it a thumbs up no matter what.
Not ONCE did she say
“don’t make the mistake of not studying hard”
See mom ! I won’t end up washing dishes at a chinese restaurant just cause I don’t study.
When I was only 19, I was diagnosed with a serious incurable disease and I expected that I would die in a few years... At that point I stopped making goals, going to college, stopped planning and dreaming. I'm 40 now, still pretty young and have time. Now there are treatments and the disease can be tamed, still not cured but it's seemless. I'm going back to school and pursuing my career dreams. It wasn't my time but I no longer give up as a victim to my circumstances. Great advice Sandy!
What a wonderful life story of survival and making life work for you! All the best to you!!
Same for me! At 19 I had a serious neurological problem, I stopped studying, but luckily I kept working and st 34 I have a great career
I’m sure your goal here was to inspire and share your story and that’s just what you did. Your growth is contagious. I will take this and apply to me! Thank you 😊
odd-me too
I think I'm in a similar situation. Except mine is a bout of extreme anxiety about the future. A bit of an existential one but I just lost will for anything after fully digested my mortality. I don't know, maybe I have a Maladaptive stress response to things. But I'm still in it and feel hopeless
I would add, “Experience is NOT the only teacher.”
You don’t have to go through what others have gone through if you SIMPLY pay attention to what they go through and why.
Yes, SOME things DO require experience, but some things we deal with because of an “it won’t happen to me” or an “I don’t care, I’m gonna do it because I want to” mentality, causes us to suffer consequences that we didn’t need to.
Thank you for this timeless, ageless wisdom, Lady Sandra! A 43 year old man (Me) is taking this all in.
Absolutely true! 👏
Learn from the mistakes of others, you don't have time to make them all yourself.
Yes I wish more people could realize life doesn't have to be hard, it doesn't have to be suffering. It's the mindset, no matter the experience.
I hate when ppl say things similar to "well that's life, life is hard". It's too defeating/suffocating to me. Instead I want to strive to always EXPAND into more joy and excitement WITHOUT the growing pains!
There may be trials but I will turn that anxiety and trepidation into excitement.
This is probably one of the best comments I've seen, and it's so true.
@@hevxhev Agree to an extent. Suffering and life being hard is not always a "mindset" and we need to acknowledge our priveledge to even be able to think that's the case for everyone, because for millions around the world suffering is not a mindset. It's not a mindset for many even around you and not because they want to suffer or are "negative" but because everyone's individual lives are different. Life shouldn't be hard and suffering for anyone but unfortunately for many it is and is out of their hands.
1. Don’t wish your life away
2. Don’t make promises you won’t fulfil
3. Don’t hide your love
4. Don’t hold onto bitter feelings
5. Don’t ignore your intuition
6. Don’t hang onto regrets
7. Don’t get stuck
8. Educate yourself constantly
9. Express your individuality, don’t loose it
10. Don’t put a burden of expectations on your children’s shoulders when it comes to them giving back what you gave to them.
Oh, you have listed so many don'ts, but each of these don'ts is as much a part of your life as any thing else that is a part. Isn't it?
what does the first one means
Watch out for wishful thinking and willful blindness. They have caused my biggest mistakes in life.
what do u mean by that jefffery can u explain@@jeffrey268
Thank you
I lost all of my women. Great grandmother, grandmother, and mom. I love this. Thank you for speaking to us and advising us. I feels like your speaking directly to me.
I've lost my mom recently. Three weeks to be exact. I dont know how to feel. I'm just so lost. I'm 17 years old and she was all I had.
@@Tiamaryln i am so sorry, please stay strong and dont be afraid to ask for help if u need to. sending you love and light
@@Tiamaryln I’m sorry for your loss babes 🥺💖
Sending you so much love beautiful 💗🥺
@@Tiamaryln i’m so sorry 🙏 i am sending you love, light, healing strength and resilience to continue to grow in times we feel lost or not even on a direct path. feel all you need to feel. best wishes 🦋
I once heard a mother of three testify that, "Respect is fostered. My kids owe me nothing. They did not ask to be born. I chose to have them. I owe them everything.". She continued by emphasising that her childrens happiness is what matters most, and ended her message to the world with, "Now, my kids are actually fighting over which one will get to take care of me when I get old.". They WANT to take care of her, because she never expected them to. I was envious of her children. My parents are narcissists. I don't know how to forgive my parents for failing to do their job. I have understanding for them, and how they became narcissists, but I have yet to master the art of forgiveness.
Forgiveness frees the forgiver my friend.
💝
2 parents that are narcissists? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… that or you may be falsely accusing people as being narcissists when they just sucked as parents.
I love this perspective!
@@grumpyschnauzer Everything you are saying could be true. But also, it might not be true. We don't know the person who made this comment and we don't know what they have been through.....Which means we really don't have the power to judge because we don't know. And sometimes the apple does fall VERY far from the tree.... It's just hard for us to admit that there are gray areas of life we don't see because it's been deeply rooted and ingrained in many of us to see things in black and white. Perhaps there's more to the story that we do not see, right?
As an 18 year old who is just out into this world of adult hood, thank you. I will do my best to use your wise words to live my best life. Thank you.
adult hood?
Same..
What a stunning, wise woman. What a gift to have access to these life lessons on TH-cam where youth is so idolized. I'm grateful that you've chosen to share on this platform!
Agreed. So incredible ❤
Youth is not idolized though, certainly not by people of value aka worth taking any idea from.
Yes 😊.
As soon who has lost both of her grandmothers it is so nice to get the wisdom of an elderly woman 😩
My little addition to this wonderful set of life-advice: Don't stop being the amazing, kind, compassionate and loving human being that you are just because someone unworthy chose to take advantage of your trust. Be who you are, and let that other person be who they are.
Very good point thank you
exactly! I'm 18 but I learned this the hard way
That’s what many people call,Forgiving,You forgive them & you forgive yourself for certain criteria 😄
Sandra, as someone with a toxic family and a lack of adults in my life helping me navigate adulthood, I really really appreciate your videos. Watching your videos is like talking to the grandmother I've never had. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Exactly. I didn't have the sort of family, parents, & siblings, to share achievements, loves, or losses - but I went on to raise a family with love, kindness and caring - I have broken the cycle.
My immediate family members are toxic. They are not people that you want to share any part of your life with - I’ve had to not be bitter about them and release them from my life.
I have beautiful friends & people who care deeply for me.
Stay away from toxic people no matter what relationship you have with them!
Im currently in the process of trying my hardest to get classes set up to help train me to better deal with my disability so I can finally join the work force and yesterday my mother told me that I was wasting my time and since it wasn't going to go anywhere anyway Id be better of learning how to do chores and take the necessary steps of becoming an okay enough housewife. That's when I realized that she's benefitting from my lack of education/inability to work so obviously she'd say that it's good for her if I never leave the house and take on even more chores. If anyone's wondering she herself does work. Sorry for rambling the point is that I'm also very thankful for any older people making videos like this geniunely and freely giving the encouragement and advice so many of us desperately need and don't receive at home.
@@acanimatics906 No you are not rambling- you are growing and becoming aware of what is important to you. Keep at it 💕🌸don’t give up! Try to not be very open to your mother about your accomplishments & the good feelings you about yourself. It’s really an awful feeling when you come to the realization of who your family members are. It’s especially hard when it’s your mother- i know the feeling very well. I haven’t lived with my mother for 35 years but she digs into my soul with her negativity. My mother is very selfish & no matter my accomplishments she never misses an opportunity to be negative. Hoping that everything gets better for you, it’s good that you are becoming aware of what is happening. I made excuses for my mother my whole life and I’ve only recently accepted her for who she is and break ties with her. As she never feels she is ever wrong.
#2 - learning to say no: when you start agreeing only to things you really can and want to do, people learn to trust that when you are doing something you are fully committed and want to be there. Also, "no, that won't work for me" is all it takes, you don't need to explain why.
Add this to the list❣️
Do be aware, however, that people will then find all sorts of ways to pressure you into changing your mind!
I've been saying No to things I don't want to do for YEARS (I'm 74 now) but I've discovered that saying 'No, that's not for me' often results in them saying, 'Oh, but how do you know till you try?-you'll feel differently in a day or so, so I'll ask again-if you won't do it, then neither can I- you need to try new things or you'll get stagnant-maybe we can do it some other time, like next Thursday,' etc. So be prepared to stand your ground and don't give in to pressure or emotional blackmail.
A brief polite 'out' ...'I'm sorry, but that's not for me' ...should be enough. The proper polite response should be, 'No problem ...but if you change your mind, let me know.'
However, many people will immediately begin to try to squash your reason for refusal. So don't make excuses or get into a debate about it. If your initial polite excuse is not enough to make them back off, just fall back on that good old word 'No.' Repeated often enough, eventually No WILL sink in. The alternative is you will get trapped into whatever it is you don't want to do. Resentment will follow.
I’m turning 28 shortly and I’m starting to feel like time is speeding up despite being young. The mornings come faster and it’s scaring me a little. I’ve been feeling stuck lately and this video helped me! It was nice to hear from someone with experience and wisdom. I needed to hear these things, xoxo thank you.
My mom used to say "the older we get, the faster time goes". I'm 59 now, her words were so true 30 years ago, more true now.
Im 19 and me too, since the pandemic, I felt days became eternally long during lockdown and the second we left they sped up x5. It feels overbaring to wake up and it feels like in 5 mins youre in bed again. definitely felt stuck too bvecause of it
I really related to this! Age aside, mornings really have sped up for me too lately.. especially in the midst of getting back to “normalcy” after the worldwide events we’ve experienced lately. I felt comforted and really inspired listening and learning from her💕
This is a natural part of getting older and becoming more aware of the human condition. It's good to be aware that our time on this planet is limited and we should make the most of our time. Don't let it overwhelm you though. Just get on with life and be awake for it. The good stuff and even the rough times. You still have your life ahead of you and I wish you the best of luck!
Time is not linear, so that feeling is an illusion. You can detach from that and live totally outside of that linear time construct. I'm 52 and feel exactly as I did at 17 as often as not. You have all the time in the world and the reason for living is just to BE.
At 32, I decided to go into nursing school when I was told at 18 that I'm "not smart enough for it". Turns out I would make a very good nurse, and being 32 years old isn't going to stop me!
I am so thankful for you being a nurse! You will be making so much difference in the lives of your patients!
I'm 26 and I really want to become a nurse. I went back to college to proceed nursing school. I feel like I'm too late for it. But I don't want to be afraid forever. Let's be great nurses someday ❤❤✨
@@_reeshh you are capable of achieving great things. Believe in yourself and it will happen I promise the key is all in your mindset 💙
I’m 38 and will be starting nursing school. I’m scared but my old career is always here but I know it’s not fulfilling.
lets goooo 🦅
Hello Sandra! I'm 14, I have my cat asleep on my lap, and I'm questioning my life. I've struggled with depression from a very young age and I've always thought a bit too deeply about life. You've taught me to take life as it comes and find joy in the little things, which has brought meaning and hope back into my life. I have so much respect and appreciation for you. Thank you for everything you do. Peace and love from Australia.
Hey, thats cool! Im 16 and live at an island near australia. Once i found God I followed the Bible and loved Jesus. This just gives an inclination to live lovingly and joyfully in all circumstances. Do you know Jesus?
Ive been questioning my life for years now lol
Hey Spoon! It’s already a good thing that you’re conscious about this, about your depression and all the questioning you’ve been doing. I’m 30 now and I’ve struggled with depression basically my entire life, since my childhood. I didn’t know at that time, but that’s what it was. All you need is the tools to be present and conscious, staying with all the feelings you’re experiencing right now without avoiding them. Embrace all that comes to you, embrace all the sadness, the struggles, all bad and good emotions. You’re still so young and already have the vocabulary to express what you’re going through. It’s not easy at all, it’s a big thing. ❤️
@@mrrandom7315 no
Cool to see another young person on this journey. This is the kind of video I would've watched at 14. When I was 14 seven years ago, I would google life advice from elderly people and read and watched what their regrets and lessons for the young were. I believe you're a kind and intelligent soul with many gifts to give the world. Thinking deeply is an enormous gift and sometimes a tough burden to bear when young. Your comment strikes me as a sign of an intelligent young woman. Listen to yourself and your gut above all else. Once you graduate school and go out into the world, you will see how unique and immensely valuable your gifts are. Sending loving kindness from Los Angeles
You're such a lovely lady.
I'm 23 and sometimes I feel like it's already too late for me to change my life. You inspired me to stop thinking about my past regrets and start living.
I'm so thankful❤
The same thing for me I'm 21 years old
My 35-year old friend just switched career paths and joined a master's, got a new boyfriend:) it's never late!
you’re so young , you still have your whole life ahead of you. there’s still time i hope everything is going well for you ❤
Same, why do I feel old at 23 haha
One of the best quotes I’ve ever heard is from Nelson Mandela - “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” I refer back to it often. I’m enjoying your videos very much! I feel like I made a wise new friend. Thank you 🙏🏼
Excellent!
MANDELA was a world class prick, a liar and as abusive as a person can get.
That’s a quote from St. Augustine of Hippo
That's great.. thx for sharing x
@@lifewithsandrahart wow. You are gorgeous.
Greetings from New Orleans ☺☺
She’s so beautiful. She radiates a glowing and contented inner being. Very few people possess this quality so visibly in their countenance and demeanor. Thank you, Sandra.
Well said!
Yes her inner light, heart and beauty is reflected on the outside too
Also to add.....Never Seek anyone's approval for ANYTHING you do,your peace and happiness is all the approval you need❤
❤hey! Thank you
❤
That’s so very true
I am 62. lost my family because bad decisions I made and other reasons. I live alone since then, have almost no friends. I managed to overcome the situation psychologicaly and even take advantage of it to learn and grow. But lately I was kind of losing the road. Your advice about wishing this and that put me on the road again. I feel many of us are so grateful to you for uploading your knowledge. Love and kisses from Leon,MX. ;)
I’ve learned to tell my self in hard and difficult times “this too shall pass” and it always does 🙏🏻
That is true. It does.
Agreed...🙂
That simple truth is my favorite too!
I grew up on a small dairy farm with all the problems that involves with 7 brothers and sisters. I heard my mother say that more than any other words of wisdom. "THIS TOO SHALL PASS" I think that idea must be in the BIBLE somewhere ! ! ! :) :) :)
This is one of my favourite sayings. This too shall pass. The good things and the bad things. Shall pass....
Wise words from a lovely woman. As a 38 year old male who is feeling rather lost, i really needed this video, thank you.
I hope she sees your comment, this video really opened up a nice conversation with my husband. We are 55 yrs. old.
I’m feeling lost and stuck myself, and I sure hope you find something that resonates with you to help break the cycle you’re in. 🌸
I feel similar . ❣️
I'm in my mid 30's and am feeling lost as well. The advices are such great reminders and I needed this video. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
all these "advices" dont have any meat on them. you read them and think. ok? what does it actually mean it's not concrete enough to work with. it's like common knowledge but without the practicality of it. you just can't give these broad tips that won't work for everyone individualy. find your own happyness and truth i guess. she just gives out tips that worked for her without going for details as to why it worked for her
@@littleorange6361 all these "advices" dont have any meat on them. you read them and think. ok? what does it actually mean it's not concrete enough to work with. it's like common knowledge but without the practicality of it. you just can't give these broad tips that won't work for everyone individualy. find your own happyness and truth i guess. she just gives out tips that worked for her without going for details as to why it worked for her
To everything she said, my instinct said “that is absolutely right”. I’m 23yo Japanese, was feeling so stuck in a situation, but how she supported me with her wise words making me so at peace and energized was remarkable. This is one of the reasons that I’m glad I understand English, that I find inspiring people like her from the wide global sea of information. Thank you very much Sandra. As I was listening to this video I wrote down all your tips in my journal so that I can look back when I’m ever again feeling lost. Wishing you a wonderful day, and life!!
What a lovely comment! Wishing you joy and peace from Texas. Always remember you are a treasure.
You are born into a beautiful culture and life is just starting for you,, embrace what comes your way and learn from it. I am 85 and when challenges faced me I asked myself: What lesson am I supposed to learn here. It never failed me.
I found your channel today. It's been nice listening to you. I am 49 years old, I want to thank you for transmitting such positive messages, I am still studying languages, history, and everything that I consider helps me to be better. A big hug.💖
I'm only 33, but I hope you'd agree to add this: It's completely fine to care about your looks but if you don't want to spend a lot of time doing make-up, shaving, trying to be super thin, if you don't want to wear high heels, manicure, hair, whatever, just don't. There is a lot of other wonderful and meaningful things to do instead of doing something that others force you to do and it's just fine to be your natural self if you wish to.
Gracias !❤
Yes but don't let others berate or shame you for doing those things. Go ahead and wear heels. Shave or wax every hair on your whole body except your scalp. There's no shame in doing these things. None. As long as you aren't hurting yourself in the process, go for it.
I am 66 and while all of these on the list are vitally important, number 10 is important for me to remember. We choose to bring children into the world and they owe us nothing. My only wish for my children is that they are happy and self sufficient. Meanwhile I make and live my own life.
Don’t be in a hurry to get married. If all your friends are married and you are not, it’s okay. Seek advice and counsel of people who have been married for a long time before you get married. If you marry for the first time at forty years old, it’s fine. Be comfortable with who you are before marrying anyone.
And 90% of marrieds will tell you not to bother - except for children of course (except they too can bring tears)
100%
Absolutely true
@John Smith So your marriage can fail too?
This is something I wish I had known when I was young!
I am in my teen years and never properly had a grandmother or grandmother figure, but watching this video makes me feel like I'm sitting down with my grandma with a cup of tea talking about life. Thankyou Sandra❤❤
These kind of advices are so necessary for everyone! No matter the age, Im 27 now and all I’ve learned that nobody really knows what they are doing with their lives, we are all just doing the best we can
My Shero ❤
It's wise to heed good advice from those who "KNOW" while you're still young. I actually did that. Smartest thing I've ever done. I swear, I've had the best life because I took good advice as a youth. I'm 65+ now, and I have no regrets. I went through every open door. Do that.
I'm 27 too.. 💓 Keep grilling never back off 👍
There’s no such word as “advices”. It’s “advice”.
@@angelwings7930 and if someone is writing in their 2nd, 3rd or 4th language?
Hi Sandra!! I'm 15 and I'm currently not in a great place (I won't go into much detail as I don't feel very comfortable expressing that on the internet haha), but I just wanted to say that I appreciate this video and your TH-cam channel so much! Thank you for lending me and so many others a helping hand!! Greetings from The Netherlands :)
Jesus loves you ❤️
I'll keep you in my prayers Carcy xx
When I was your age I also was not in a good place. Now all these yrs later I can promise you if you remain focused on staying strong mentally, physically and determined to grow financially you will be extremely happy in time. Understand that what we go thru in life allows us to grow from our troubles and become stronger if we choose to. LOVE yourself and distance yourself from negativity as much as you can. God bless you and remember your life ahead is blessed! Choose happiness you will overcome!
@@cryptochik7573 Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I will certainly keep it in mind ♡♡
@@bearvillebear1468 @AmazingGrace You guys are too sweet man 😭♡
I'm in my 20's and this couldn't have come at a better time. My heart has really been hurting, and I've been feeling really stuck and lost and only recently started rebuilding trust with myself and slowly relearning to recognize my intuition again. Needed this thank you.
Awe really… similarly to you. Finding myself too. Her video is lovely isn’t it 🍋🌼💛
Ok what you want to do is look into rony Robbins & law of assumption. That would be a good start
@@aminahsxoxo
Ok what you want to do is look into rony Robbins & law of assumption.
Me too. I'm 72
I absolutely loved this video. One bit of advice I want to add is to not constantly be thinking of the future, be sure to enjoy the "now" and be present. I understand that with struggles, it can be hard to not think of the future constantly, but always be sure that whenever you can, live in the moment!
This woman is an absolute QUEEN!!! helping others and taking time to bless us with her wisdom!!! I can't thank you enough!!!!!!
Hey girl heyyy!!! Yes everything she said was spot on!
@@TsipporahtheExplorer oh my gosh so cool!! Hey lovely!! Haha we have the same taste in awesome TH-cam videos :P
I’m a 33 year old man who has the good fortune of having several elders that are still in my life. I make dinner for my 91 year old grandma and her cousins (all 9 of her siblings and my grandpa have passed away) and each time I learn so much from just listening to them all talk. They’re so appreciative towards me for making them dinner but I don’t think they realize that I will have memories of them and their conversations long after they’re gone. Well, I’m sure they do realize it but maybe they don’t know how much it means to me or how grateful I am and aware of how much I appreciate them. I wouldn’t go to a party of people my age and quite frankly can’t stand to be around most people but the contentedness of a wise, older person to listen to is irreplaceable.
My #1 thing ive learned ... Don't make a decision under the pressure of someone else . Walk away and think about it first . Don't let others pressure you in their presence or while they are looking at you. Or at least turn away , walk away where you don't feel their pressure and take your time to think . Especially in a financial situation. Tell them you will think about it and let them know in a few days .
I need to learn this. I give into family pressure too much. It's so annoying
Additionally: Even if you say yes, you can always remove your consent. Just because I got asked to do something and said I will do it (regardless of under pressure or not), doesn't meant that I can't change my opinion afterwards and say I decline.
Yeah that's what I've learnt
Very good advice.
@@MoaCharles not if you sign a contract. You only have 48 hours to cancel a contract. I think sometimes people are pressured into signing something
My list at 62:
1. Say something complimentary to at least one person every day.
2. Find the humour. Even if it has to be dark humour.
3. Learn at least one new thing everyday.
4. Travel adventurously.
5. Shut. Up.
6. Share knowledge with generosity.
7. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
8. Dress to please yourself.
9. Have a lot of sex, including with yourself.
10. Hug. A lot.
Wasn't expecting no.5 😂
Idk about number 9 😭
No sex for a year 😢
Number nine ❤❤❤❤ I haven’t even had enough yet
number 9??
I'm 26 years old, and I already have problems with releasing past mistakes and regrets, and you are absolutely right about it: regretting about the past just drain me and take the energy from me. The fact that these mistakes are not really bad or serious don't do things better for me. I am working on giving more love and forgiveness to myself, because such way of living is definitely not a good way to live another 100 years of my future life. Thank you for your advices, they echoed in my heart.
Same
That's wonderful to learn so young 😊
Look to the side, be aware, and look forward, never back
It is always good to take some time to think over things you're going through; whether it's a regret, or that someone hurt you or upset you.
You need to process your thoughts and feelings. Deal with it(forgive,apologize if you should ,think -how could I have handled this better, are there boundaries that I need to create) then give yourself permission to let it go . Not everything will make sense; because you can't make sense of nonsense. But, you still need to learn and let go.
A perspective I got from a Khloee Taylor podcast was to see it in a way where your past self did what they did to protect you from what was happening at that time. As time goes on, situations change and therefore parts of us change. Hold your past self with love and gratitude for the protection it provided and let it go when it no longer serves our greatest good.
@@nicolewinters hi Nicole ☺☺
My tips as a 37yo are for relationships:
1 - Tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them every single day. If you have a compliment to give, give it on the spot.
2 - Don't go to bed with something left unsaid, or angry. If you're upset, talk about it immediately. Explain your feelings, invite a conversation - don't yell or blame. Talk and find a solution together. Never, ever, go to bed upset at your companion.
This comes from my own relationship of 20 years with my partner. These are our rules and our relationship is our haven and bliss. New people we meet think we are a cute new couple 😂
I love this video so much! Thank you.
Thanks for this 🎉
I don't agree with the second one. If it works for you, great, but sometimes you just need to sleep your anger away in order to talk things out. Different people have different amounts of times they require to cool off, and sometimes it's not smth they did, sometimes you're just angry cause you've been eating unhealthy food all day and your brain is punishing you for it, or whatever hormones involved into it. Sometimes it's best to let it be, and then come back to it when you're both ready to talk about it. It won't whither your relationship, it'll just teach you more about the partner you love and their tendencies
@@sin3358 I second this- Ive had hours long discussions with my spouse, when we are both tired, our thoughts aren't clear, we haven't had time to think about how we really felt about situation or what we are trying to say...in contrast with waiting it out a day, journaling about what is really underneath our disagreement and having a conversation that has resolution. I think the danger is letting the issue fizzle, but never really resolving it, and years of resentment build up..now that is a problem.
Mine would be to not refer to your significant other as partner. We have words for these people. Words matter. Proper words show respect to them. If you simply *must* be vague, significant other, as I used above, works just fine.
I’m in my early 20s and just graduated from college. Literally everything has been changing and I’ve been pulled in all different directions lately. I’ve felt lost and confused, but your advice really helped me out! There’s still a lot for me to learn about life, so thanks for helping me feel less scared ❤️
Im the same age as you and I just wanted to say: I feel the same way you do. But it's important to remember you're not alone. I'm not alone. We go through this together and I'm sure we will make it through 💕☺️
you got this!! ♥ turned 20 a few days ago and I'm scared of growing old... but I hope I'll overcome that fear and see how beautiful aging can be! ❤
I am 91 years old. I had my first heart attack 33 years ago, but it is under control. Other than that I'm doing fine and need no help from anyone. I'm one of the lucky ones, but I also made my own luck. Have a good education and work hard. It worked for me. Oh, yeh, and don't make stupid choices.
As a 23 year old currently going through the struggles of what is expected of me in my 20s, this is inspirational. Not only for right now but beyond. Thank you 🌹.
As a 35 guy... Make these three things your priority, in this order: 1. Health, both physical and mental they are intertwined, cant stress this enough, good sleep, good food, good habits because as you age it will deteriorate rapidly of you dobt take care of it like its most ptescious thing. 2. Friends and family(but if they are toxic then just focus on friends) I put friends ahead of spouse because you might not find a spouse but you can find and keep friends for life, get 2 or 3 really really good ones if you can, if they have family and you dont be part of it, babysit their kids etc. Cheerish friends and social life. 3. Spouse, find if you can a "good" one and even if not make kid or kids you can always dovorce atleast you will have kids that of you treat them well will enrich your life immensly. Rest doesnt matter at all.
in my almost 33, it's even harder to feel the same. I will say a trite thing, but your adult life is just beginning, don't beat yourself up for anything
@@bootybee thank you 🤗
@@outlander234 how you read my mind.....I am doing exactly..
as you have mentioned in these lines here!
@@outlander234 You know, my almost extinguished-younger self would've been horrified at that last piece of advice, present older me however... Knows unfortunately that life is anything but what you'd initially wished and hoped for it to be so... Yeah guess best thing to do is to simply grasp EVERY opportunity there is, no matter how "imperfect" bcse real chances are you won't get better ones.
I am 16 years old and suffer from depression, loneliness and study pressure, but you have given me positive energy for life. I feel happy from your words. Your channel gives me energy for life. Thank you and I love you😢
Gym
Get to the root of it now... why are you depressed, lonely, at 16? Why do you have study pressure, you've been in school at least the last 10 years so consider yourself an expert at studying, that may help with the pressure. You've been a student longer than some may have been teachers! Nothing they can give you that you can't answer or figure out... change your perspective and what you focus on.. find the positive in it all. Seek God through it all.
Been there but just know you r loved don't go by your feelings they r only temporary, this too shall pass Life is good cuz God made it 🙏
Uh. Saul Goodman 💔💔
Write it down inspiration is flying and so are our minds
MY two cents, for what it's worth...Never make life changing decisions when your tired, sick or grieving. Never make promises when your excited, depressed or angry. Never loan money to anyone, including your friends or family, you're not a bank. I've learned some hard lessons in life, that I don't want to repeat. I rarely make promises anymore and my life changing decisions are well thought out, because when we realize time is running out, we stop wasting time and money.
Meme, Great advice all around. Thank you so much for all of those tips.❤️
you are so right!!!!!!!!!!after 10 years i am going to ask them back.its about my dignity and respect to my self.this amount of money has been between our "friendship".
Good advice.
Yes don't lend , GIVE !
@@marianking1379 I.am so impressed with this, continue the good work. I learned a lot thank you
Sandra, I cannot express how grateful I am for finding your video. At this stage of my 40s, I have been feeling stuck and uncertain about my life. Your tips have resonated deeply with me, and I wholeheartedly agree with every single one you mentioned. Your words are not only encouraging and inspiring but also filled with love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! ❤
For us mature women, take care of your body and your skin but don't be a fanatic about antiaging and mourn every sag. Take that bod that you have and go out and have some fun in it!
Oh, I just love this comment Carol! I say, take whatever parts you can carry....haha!
@@learnbyheart7 As my Auntie used to say, fling 'em, sling 'em, just as long as you bring 'em! ;)
My sentiments exactly
Im want to explore myself sexually- Im 40, best bod ever currently working out and seen my abs for the first time😍😍
@@sanivana The 40’s are the very best years in my opinion. Enjoy it!
the "being stuck" part really hit me hard because that is the space I have been in for a while. i feel stuck and in limbo unsure where to take my life...
My first husband was such a bad person. Looking back on my marriage with him it makes me sick to think of our toxic relationship. Thank God he removed him through the prison system. He has been their for almost 30 years. I've had to work very hard to let that part of my life go..except for wonderful son whom I love dearly.
Hugs and love,
Alicia
Alicia, I am so happy that you were able to get out of that relationship. So many women stay until it’s too late. It looks like Karma got him in the end. You do have to let go of that negative part in your life. It’s a blessing that from that relationship you have a wonderful child. He will get back to the world what your husband took away❤️
I can very closely relate to this.
I’m very sorry that happened to you but don’t regret it totally, you’ve gotten the gift of a beautiful son from the marriage that you suffered through. Thank God you and your son made it!!!
Just found you Sandra and so enjoy listening to you. I am 82 and you reaffirm all I believe in. Keep well!
Hi Sandra, I wanted to thank you for this video. As a 21 year old I've planned my career out and I'm happy with the direction, however I've noticed I keep thinking "I wish I could go into fashion design" or "if I was rich I'd become a fashion designer". I realised with your words that I clearly want to do this, and I decided once i complete my university course and get a job, I will start classes in making clothes and designing them. I love my educational career and will continue it, but I love fashion too, and I won't wish my life away. Thank you again Sandra
do it now 🫶
You can merge your education with fashion
I know designers who teach fashion
There is a big market for designer “Made in USA” clothing. Please consider making a blog so we can follow your journey.
you're only 21. It's not too late! You're just getting started. Go do it. If I had realized just how young I was at 21 I wouldn't have let anything stop me. You're sooo young. Pursue your desires. You won't regret it.
I am 46 and quit my 22 year healthcare career to chase my passion work. I am starting from scratch but I am much happier and very excited! I also have learned to pause before I speak. Never loan money, ever. Walk away from anyone who is not genuine, when they show you their true colors, just smile and walk away. My family hangs and hangs and hangs and did I say HANGS onto the past and my goodness, it's like slow dying to me. Speak your truth and don't let anyone dim your light!
Heather I love your comments. Everything you say is so absolutely true. Keep away from negative people and let go of the past. Simple as that❤️
Hi , you're safe over there i hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world
Yay!!
@John Smith what a ridiculous comment. Canada is one of the most free of all countries. It is beautiful with wonderful people. I have lived in a handful of different countries & through those experiences I have become grateful to call Canada home. 🇨🇦
You sound like a beautiful soul, good for you ♡ namaste
I would add: 1) Don't be insecure, If you aren't confident - learn to be confident, it is possible, fake it till you make it, try hard for a couple of years, I promise you, your life will change drastically, for better
2) Also don't be afraid to speak your mind, practice being always straightforward and painfully honest, it's better for you and trust me, people will love that about you
3) Don't ignore your mental health
4) Don't ignore your overall health
to being brutally honest you should probably add " but ask if you opinion is needed". i had few extremely "honest"friends who, eventually started feel like very toxic people who think everyone needs a piece of their honest mind on everything, including how do I look or what choices make for my life
thank you 🤍
That's true but also pressure of being confident is what is making me feel insecure. I have mentall issues but constantly I feel that people are looking for perfection and confidence. Why I can't be shy?
@@Ms_Pumppkin Being shy and insecure are 2 different things
@@АннаКалинникова-я7ь True
it’s really refreshing to see youtubers of different ages speaking on their experiences and sharing their thoughts with the world.
Thanks so much Sandra. These are wonderful tips. I have added a few. There may be overlaps.
1. Be grateful for everything you have. Let it be your health, spouse, friends, children etc.
2. Acknowledge all the good fortunes in your life.
3. Try to do things mindfully - even things that are considered mundane like washing dishes or sweeping the floor.
4. Try living more in the present and less in the past that is gone and the future that is yet to materialize.
5. Do not fail to give complements when they seem appropriate. You many never know that you have made the day for someone.
6. Never make comparisons of yourself to others. We are all unique in our own way.
Very good advices, love them.
Such wise words! One more note: don't get attached to things, all things are actually just rented and the fact that you need them is often an illusion.
You are amazing! God bless you! So true !Thanks for sharing. PS my aunt lives in Saint Augustine too. Ohio women are amazing women. My one acct is from clevland ohio.
I turned 60 in April. As we get older we realize we hold the keys to our lives. Not looking to the world for validation. Relying on our intuition (God's guidance and voice within us)is so important for all decisions.
Enjoyed time with you today, I think your outlook is lovely.
I have a question, I’m pretty young I would say, but I’ve just realized how stupid we all are about how much we care what OTHER people think, especially strangers. I’m either gonna forget or not meeting any of these strangers ever again (most of the time) and yet I still feel the need to be accepted by them, and I think this is wired to everyone’s brains from the start. And the more I look around, I realize older people don’t have this as much. They literally do not care about others opinions other than their close relations. Is that something that has occurred to you? Cause personally, this has brought a big change to my life. I’m sorry if I don’t make much sense in my comment, I just don’t know how to explain it thoroughly.
@@wildk5367 I think you did a beautiful job explaining it. Blessings Sister. Change your life help others this is where our time and efforts should be spent. The payback is immeasurable.
Your voice is so comforting, soothing, therapeutic.I struggle with bipolar disorder and it was really hard to get up this morning.Thank you for being a game changer
Sandra, I lost all my grandparents while being a teenager/early 20s. I absolutely love listening to you and all your advice and all the conversations you have with us. You are truly lovely and I’d hope to be half the woman you are with all your wisdom in my 80s
What I would add ; never doubt your potential to do great things regardless of your circumstances as well, no matter how far away something might seem 🙂
As a 12 year old girl. I really appreciate your advice grandma. I really do, I may be a kid but it doesn't mean I'm not raising them as well. After my heartbreak I was so stuck in my bed and crying but now. I feel a lot better at your advice grandma! I hope you'll live a long and healthy life
Не слушай советы чужой бабушки,слушай маму и папу. И музыку.
12 years old with heartbreak? People grow up so fast nowadays.
Edit. Post muted. Not reading replies about the same shit.
Bravo. 😊😊😊😀😀💜💚💙❤️👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏
They were probably rejected or something
@@elenagura4055 not everybody has good parents. 😢
I came across this video I thought by accident. But I now know that I needed to hear what you had to say dear and sweet lady. God bless you for your teachings. You are a gift from God!
According to Bronnie Ware, one of the most common near death regrets is "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself." That resonates a lot with me. It’s not that I choose to go through life as a misfit. What I mean is that it’s me who decides the life that I want lo lead, and thus the set of “rules” that I’m going to follow. Coherence and consistency give you peace of mind. My life, my rules. No one else’s.
Your comment made me emotional. I always try to stray true to myself and it's not easy feeling like you continuously go against the mainstream but words like this bring me peace. Thanks.
Sandra, this is invaluable. I tell myself every day, “I only have today.”
Julie, fantastic advice.❤️
Jesus says, no one knows the future.
Hi , you're safe over there i hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world
I am 26 and I’m so happy I stumbled on this video. I’ve been feeling stuck, regretting the past, and not feeling good enough so I needed this. My only advice to add is when you know you did something wrong hold yourself accountable and apologize. Try to make time to self reflect on what you can do better. Don’t beat yourself up and also don’t ignore the issue.
At almost 60yo, I realized staying in the emotionally abusive relationship I was in for 15 years was partly my responsibility. When I recognized how unhealthy it was, I stayed with "hope" that he would change. That my love would surely make him see our lives could be so much better.
Yes, trauma bonds are horrible, but I know part of me wanted to be revered as the intelligent patient woman that helped him 'see the light' and be lavished with grateful love from then on.
That is very unhealthy, of course, but I just didn't understand it before. I'm grateful to no longer live in that delusional fantasy. I don't hate him, I just don't have to be married to him. ❤
I'm in tears. My only grandfather died when I was 12 and my grandmother never liked me cuz I was born out of wedlock and so I've never had such conversations. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
I'm so sorry, I hope you have a good life
I'm 22 yrs old at the time I'm writing this. The part about not hanging onto regrets hit me hard, because I'm still so sad about the past. It hurts to think back and sometimes makes it hard to look forward and have hope; but when I do live in the moment and don't think about my past regrets, I have better chances to be happy. My tip(s) I'd like to add is/ are: Leave people be, and do your own thing, as long as they or you aren't hurting anyone. Being less hateful, letting go of hate, will make you feel better about how you feel about yourself too. Try to find a way to express your opinions and thoughts without putting out more hate into this world.
I made a rule to myself: be kinder. Don't direct hate at people who aren't trying to hurt and didn't meant to hurt anyone. Basically, I will hold myself back from directing hate to someone on the internet because it's easy to fall into that headspace of anger and hate (to me at least). It isn't always that easy, but I am trying.
Thank you for taking the time to read this until the end. Have a nice day and take care.
You're 22, how much "past" could you have? Talk to me when you're 52, then we have something to work with! There's major changes with each DECADE you live through. Keep a journal from now to forever and when you go back and reread about your life, I promise you, you will laugh at the concerns you had at 22!
Now ---- Get out and see the world, backpack around Europe, see the entire United States one state at a time, take lots of pictures and taste all the different foods from all over and then we can talk! Pack lightly and take a blank journal.
Find some park benches and people watch. Take notes. One day you'll put it all into a book! Visit old, old cemeterys and read the toombstones. You'll laugh and cry. Just remember that little --- dash --- between the years represents a life either poorly lived or well lived.
Thank me under your breath, just have a good time. Oh, and absolutely GO ALONE and be aware of your surroundings.
God be with you, and remember to look up and say "thank you."
Go girl! Keep doing what you think is right. Your spirituality growths with your actions, not your age.
@@georgiafrancis9059 her advices can be great for someone who is younger. I'm only twenty but I have a plenty of advices I could give myself when I was a teenager
I'm watching this at 28 and I'm very grateful to have stumbled upon your channel. So many life advice channels are full of fluff but you get straight to the point and have your own personal experiences to share to drive those points home. I look forward to continuing to absorb any wisdom you are willing to share. 💗
Welcome and thanks for watching
I am so happy for you and already know you will have an awesome life.
I'm 29 and an aspect of my life has not been unfolding the way I thought it would. Both of my grandmothers have passed, and this video was SO WELCOME right now: I miss the presence of wise women! Thank you, Sandra!
My little addition is TELL THE TRUTH! Of course that doesn't mean be rude, but living your life openly and without the complication of lies or half-truths is the way to go. Your whole life gets simpler and you feel like the best version of yourself for everyone.
my husband is afraid that I die before him but my thought is without each other life is meaningless I will choose death anyway - he seemed not understand to be together each day is more important for unknown future
Absolutely Rachel. Live in your truth. My mom lied alot. I hated it so much.
Are you married
@@joycedominguez1828 This is Jennifer Sinclair. My mom does, too. We don't communicate now.
@@tanickasinclair7035 it's hard to deal with a mother that lies. It forces me to always be honest to a fault. Towards the end of my mom's life (she was 88) it got even harder to deal with her. I feel for you
Genuinely, thank you so so much for posting. I’m 19 years old and the one grandma that I was close with passed when I was in middle school and it’s only now as I enter my young adulthood that I seek out generational advice without any sort of bias and this one video alone has been a great source of comfort and knowledge.
Your statement on trusting your intuition is spot on! I've never been done wrong or sent down the wrong path when I trusted my gut feeling. I absolutely look forward to hearing your wisdom thank you so much!
Thank you for agreeing with me. The hardest point is to be able to stop and trust your intuition❤️
Sooooo true!
@@lifewithsandrahart What if you can’t “hear/feel” your intuition? What does this mean and how can you get over it? I’ve struggled with this for a very long time.
@@kittycat1302 This is not exactly about intuition but there's something called alexander-technique, which is a set of principles which in practice teach you how to make more conscious decisions, become more body aware. I suppose that could help. Gotta take lessons for it.
I was looking for this channel for about a week or two already and I finally found it. I want to thank you for your advice grandma. Watching this video was unexpected for me because I had my settings to auto next after listening to a song then this played. After listening I never thought it would make a difference but hearing you say "Don't wish your life away" really hit me to the core. I've always said to myself "I wish I could ride a motor bike, like those teenagers below my age" my mindset was always about wishing things that I want to do but just didn't for the fear of being hurt. The day after I listened to your advice I started learning to ride a motor bike by myself. Falling again and again while trying to think about how to make things work was fun and exhausting. I mean I've never ridden a bike before so I kept remembering the advice my friends told me on how to start riding a bike but doing it with the motor bike. It's weird but it somehow worked anyways. I now can ride a motor bike in the highway by myself. Taking action was the main issue I had with the things I wanted to do and the lack of resources too. But I was finally able to break out from my she'll and made my wish come true.
That’s awesome! So glad you took action and had fun doing it.
Love that advice about not expecting your children to give back to you what you’ve given to them. GREAT reminder!! 💕
Im just 18 so probably not part of the targeted audience but it showed up in my recommendation and I have to say it was very inspiring to hear those things because sometimes I feel like I already should have done so many things even though I’m still young and it stresses me out. I felt stuck in my mind and the negative habits. Really enjoyed watching it
This is good life advice at any age. Good on you for watching and listening. :)
Yes I am 18, and I know exactly how you feel.
I recently turned 17 and I really understand you. I feel like I should be doing more, and I can't stop comparing myself to others even though I know every history is different
I am 17 and get ya, dunno why youtube recommended it
You are definitely the targeted audience. Did you watch the first one? Don't wish your life away, just do it! Someone should tell people this at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20....80, 81, 82, and on!
Hello Sandra, I'm 19. A few months ago I decided investing time into self-improvement. This video has touched my soul and motivated me, sometimes, actually most of the time I feel going anywhere... I'm learning how to create myself, how to love myself, my boundaries, my goals... Thank you for the advice! 🌹
English is my second language, hope people who are reading can understand it 🥺
Love
I wish you the upmost luck my love
Thank you for sharing, and your English is amazing ❤
I am also investing in myself for the first time ever in my mid-twenties now, and I have never felt better!
I’m quite impressed with your curiosity to click on this video. I would guess you have an inquisitive mind and wish you much success. I’m over fifty and wish I’d been able to incorporate these guardrails in my own life when I was 19. In my humble opinion you seem to be on a path to creating a solid foundation on which to build your future…be well and stay curious.
Your English is very good.💜
your a beautiful human being thank you i just turned 18 and this made me just a little less lost in this world
Im 23 and this gave me so much perspective! I often regret a lot of my past and not doing what i should have done- but like you said its such a waste of energy. From here on out I'm looking forward 💕
Good girl - thats the spirit!!
💗💗💗
Good for you! Do the best you can.
23 and me too❣️ we are in this together 💜
I almost cried with this video, and this beautiful and incredibly Lady. I'm 18 now, and I'm so lucky to have the opportunity to listen all of this advices. I've been feeling so lost about my life, but videos like this one, are helping me a lot, and I can say that, internet is good when we have the capacity to limit ourselves about how we should use it.
What a joy to listen to you. My Mom died of Alzheimer’s a few years ago, and listening to you reminds me of her. You both are wonderful to me.
Carolyn. I am so completely touched. I’m so sorry you lost your mother from Alzheimer’s. Arthur’s mother also had Alzheimer’s so I know how difficult it is on everyone. I am glad that you have wonderful memories of her and so humbled that I remind you of her.❤️
Hi , you're safe over there i hope this year brings happiness and prosperity to all Americans and all over the world
@@lifewithsandrahart uu
Sandra you're good. I am sixty-six, listening from Kenya and you're really kind.
God bless you.
I am 25, single, no kids & focusing on myself and I needed to hear this.. thank you ❤❤❤
Eyyy, relatable
Truly worth watch
Get a good man :D
Do not overestimate your understanding either because you only have some 5 years left before the wall when the dynamics shift radically, socially, psychologywise and bodily.
Are you able to compromise or not, are you the dominant one or not? Certain things will define your future even now.
Depending on the answer, you may consider investing in a wine company.
Ask what percentage of single old childless women portray it as glamorous and great. But if you have no intention of being the feminine wife to begin with, you are making the right choice, likewise if you think you have time forever.
@@haliaeetus8221 a feminine wife?! What lol
@@haliaeetus8221 Are you lost?
Don't put up with toxic people, even if they are relatives. You are better off without them. You don't get to pick your siblings, so don't feel guilty if you don't want them in your life. I learned this very late in my life, I wish I had done it in my earlier years.
We all get smarter as we get older. Including myself. Thank you❤️
I'm tired of being hurt by family so I had to let them all go people like this cause me an addiction and I don't have it anymore thank you
I learned this too. They say that family should stick together, but family members that hurt you don't deserve to be part of your life.
This needs to be openly discussed more. Negative family will use guilt as a crutch to keep you around. Never forget misery loves company.
Yes, toxic people feed off of us nice folks!😜 If you want them out of your daily life, I would just move away and keep things positive between you and them but move on. Don’t leave in a sour note.
I’m 35 and very much needed to hear this guidance. I lost my parent figure 10years ago and it was lovely to receive what was freely given here.
Hi Sandra, I very much find you to be inspiring. I watch you several times a week and you really speak to my issues. I will be 87 years old this dec. 2024. I'm very healthy, go to the gym almost every day. I am very particular about what I eat and prepare my own meals. I do have a problem making friends. That is a big void in my life. Otherwise I have a nice comfortable home with my poodle and cat. I recently read Dr. Sanja Gupta's book and follow a lot of the things he recommends, especially try to learn something new every day. Thanks again
I’m 31 and I already agree with everything you have said here. The biggest takeaway is managing expectations! Don’t expect anything from life or others, and it’ll open you up to being pleasantly surprised by things seeming to go your way. Give your time/patience/love/money because you want to, not because you expect it to be transactional. It cuts away a lot of unnecessary self-inflicted stress! You have a very soothing presence and voice, thank you for sharing your wisdom.
I’d like to add something else: “stop wasting your money buying stuff you don’t want or need just to fell accepted by our society or to fill the void in your life”
Thanks for the video everything you said is so true I hope all of us put it into practice
I noticed some people do it just for aesthetics
fr! btw im smoking multiple packs ))
Thank you,so appreciate your wisdom. ❤
Sandra, thank you for helping me out today. God bless and have a great day.❤😊
This is a big one for me buying stuff I don't need
Sandra, you are so right. And, in my personal journey, I’ve learned to stop apologizing for being who I am in living my life. I have received so much unsolicited condescending advice from acquaintances over the years. I have to admit Covid shutdown helped me weed out unfruitful acquaintances.
That is one thing about Covid. We know exactly who are true friends are. Good for you to shut out all the negativity around you. Surround yourself with positive energy and the people around you. Best wishes and thank you so much for sharing today❤️
Thank you for this. I came across your channel and as a 33 year old woman I loved this! I’ve been having a rough couple of years and you gave me hope! Thank you ❤
I'm 16 and I've been having trouble with thinking about my past for a 16 year old I've been through a lot but this helped me realize that I need to let go and live my life thank you so much! Before I know it my teenage years will be done.
Old man here: The most important lesson I share with my young is to choose your company wisely! If you do that the rest of the pieces will fall into place and if you don't it won't matter how high your IQ or what degree hangs on your wall or how much money you earn if you choose poorly you are burned toast. At 18 no one shared that wisdom with me and at 38 I paid dearly for my ignorance. Should you encounter damaged goods don't walk away RUN! I'm 71.
Old woman here, and I 100 percent agree with old man. In fact, running isn't even fast enough. Rocket propel yourself away from them !
unrelated question, but do you have a favorite album? from any genre? I ask this question to many people because I find it interesting to see what music has stuck to them the most. :-)
@@takeoats Epiphany and Inner child both are from BTS and they're in Korean so please do read the English translation of the said songs.
I get where you’re going! I’ll add: Choose wisely who you marry and with whom you produce offspring.
My mother called me "damaged goods" because I finally opened my mouth about what she knew the whole time (since infancy!) with my dad had been going on. She told me I was a "gutter girl," that I had "no future," and that "no one decent would ever love" me. *She was dead wrong.*
Sticks and stones, I know. I shouldn't let it bother me. But words can hurt, sometimes unintentionally. Perhaps you might consider choosing your words more carefully. Then again, one could say I proved your point. And hers. Maybe I really AM "damaged goods." Maybe she was right. Sigh.
Other than that, I wholeheartedly agree.
I’m turning 24 in 3 days and I’m grateful to have discovered your channel today. This is the first video I’m watching of yours. Thanks Sandra ❤
Welcome!!
happy birthday :)
@@stephanieena8391 Thank you :)
Happy belated birthday!
@@Lamamsl Thanks!
Thank you so much for existing ❤ The time you put out for others truly makes so many people a better person.
This has healed something within me.
You're such a light!
I'm 30 and I keep thinking it's too late for me...can you imagine?
Thank you for this.
No you are not late . There is still hope . People marry even when they are 50 and beyond . Even if you remain single all your life you can still lead a life worth living
I would like to add to not be afraid to ask for help especially when it comes with mental health. From an early age I was expected to be strong in every way. If you show weakness then it means you lost the battle, so I rather kept quiet with my issues. Therefore I internalized a lot and defaulted to labeling my issues as “taboo.” Now at 39, I finally accepted and recognized that I needed help and it’s the best thing I ever did. All thanks to my teenage daughter who advocated for herself. She needed help but I didn’t want to believe her at first but she persisted and I’m glad she did because it forced me to deal with my own issues as well.
We’re both getting the help we need and our relationship has strengthened so much more. Our communication is much better and stronger now that we are comfortable at being vulnerable with each other. We’re in a better place now because of it.
hola, si pudieras traducir este mensaje sería increíble. Con mucho respeto encuentro muy similar cuando dices que habían muchas expectativas en ti , tengo 18 años y desde pequeña mostré más dedicación que mis otros hermanos en los estudios y siento que eso me está causando graves problema ahora, porque hasta unos 2 años pensaba que estudiar lo era todo y de verdad que estudiaba todo el día, hasta que por la pandemia el último año de bachillerato entre en depresión con pesadillas y hasta parálisis del sueño y perdí el bachillerato. Eso fue lo más duro que me había pasado porque era importantísimo, paso un año y medio después que me recupere de la depresión pero los efectos como la parálisis del sueño nunca se fueron y no tienen cura. Además de que mi meta era y es estudiar medicina, los problemas para dormir que tengo se sienten como si tuviera una discapacidad ya que tengo que estudiar y es imposible no dormir 8 horas y a la misma hora todos los días. Esto ha causado que me sienta muy perdida y desesperada por encontrar la motivación que perdí desde el incidente del bachillerato. Alguien tiene un consejo porque mi deseo de que el día dure más de 24 horas no se hará realidad y las expectativas que tienen sobre mi se han vuelto una carga pesada. 🛐🛐🛐
Sandra, I just ran across your ",over sixty" and I find my life and your philosophy are hand in hand. I agree 100% and have lived it and still am at 89. I love life and feel regret that my youth and beauty have changed but still feel young and beautiful inside. I don't "what if" and "I can't because I'm too old". I'm loved, I'm admired, I'm unique and enjoy every day. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
How wonderful that you are 89. I really hope I get there. Your attitude of life and not letting age even become a factor in your life is wonderful
Very good advice we should all take to heart!
One lesson I wish I'd learned before 40: be your own friend and advocate. Listen to your own needs and don't spend the precious little time you have on people who make you feel bad about yourself.
Thank GOODNESS you are doing this!!! My mom is 84 and I told her she should do this! It's the MOST important thing. To listen to our grandparents and their lives, advice, thoughts, and what they've seen throughout their life time. Its a WEALTH of education!!
I never grew up with a grandmother, hearing you speak from the heart about your experiences is exactly what I've been needing to follow my dreams. Thank you !!!