How To Be Friends With Radically Different Incomes
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 ต.ค. 2024
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Welcome back to The Money Conversation, where real-life friends, family members, and loved ones share their money challenges, workplace wins, financial secrets, and everything in between.
In this episode, friends and roommates Corinne and Christina share the unconventional way they split their rent, as well as what it's like navigating the new-adult world with friends of different class backgrounds.
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Love how she understands how privileged she is. Love the honesty
Having a reasonably generous roommate who understands that 85K is almost 2.5x more than 33K is exceptional. Thanks for sharing this conversation; talking about things so personal is always at least a bit difficult.
My experience with children of doctors as adults has always been really pleasant. They really understand their privileges and it’s really refreshing to see.
It's the same for me. My "theory" as to why this is is that doctors quite often have to deal with patients who are on the lower end of the economic spectrum and so they almost have first hand experience of what it is like to be poor despite not being poor.
@@justinj2 I believe it's because the doctors just have common sense. + doctors do come from different backgrounds as well.
I don't want to sound stuck up or anything, but I want to share this story. I vividly remember how in our first year in medschool, we had a classmate, whose dad owns a business, so she always wears designer brands and all that. We were going to have lunch near the anatomy lab and she proposed to go to a pretty pricey place, because they "have a very tasty oatmeal porridge". The other girls were hesitant, since they came from rural areas of our country and their parents' incomes were lower than our parents'. She was clearly disappointed and after that didn't go out to eat with us. I also don't like to eat in the places our girls prefer, but I just made a habit of bringing my food with me, so I can enjoy their company and they can enjoy their meals with reasonable prices.
Doctors in general tend to be more humane, since they see a lot of struggling people. Money is not everything.
Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language.
My dad is a doctor and I am not privileged at all, because I have too many siblings 😢 he picks and chooses who gets to benefit from his money.
I am struggling now but saving the little I have to send myself to college in 2yrs time.
children of surgeons are a different story lmao
They are both such good friends to each other. I wish most relationships were like this. Everyone needs a good friend.
What a great friendship and conversation. Probably much wiser than some of us older folks. :)
They both seem a little bit uncomfy but very respectful of one another, which is how most money talks with close friends go! This is so of validating! Whenever I get uncomfy talking money with friends, I always feel like "real best friends know how to talk about this without feeling weird, maybe we're not as close as I thought" but it's all in my head. As long as you stay respectful, a little awkwardness is normal for everybody :)
Love how respectfully they are toward each other, money is usually a primary source of problems but they seem to do a good job
I worked in grad school administration and can vouch for what she’s saying. Also this vid is a good examination of how our decision-making is often psych-based. Someone who grew up with a lot of resources is more relaxed about money v someone growing up in lack developing anxiety around money decisions (that comment about not feeling like she could access parts of their apartment because she isn’t paying the full amount is an example) isn’t something you can budget app or toxic positivity your way out of no matter what people in the finance space will have you believe
I would also like to see this conversation between two friends in their 30s or 40s.
yes!!!
Same but i don’t think they would do that on this channel because it’s not necessarily money related, but more of a cultural/lifestyle shift that tends to come with age
Or in another state besides NY.
Or even friends of different ages? Like 30s and 60s? Right now my friend group ranges from 20somethings at their first job to award winning industry leaders in their 60s and up and everything in between. I adore them all but it's really tough to get together and feels like half the time I'm having to convince friends with more money that I can afford to pay for myself and the other half explaining how we can have fun without spending anything (I fall smack in the middle in terms of age and income ATM) so getting some examples of how others navigate it would be fantastic!
@@aprildawnsunshine4326, same.
I'm in my 40's and my 2 best friends are late 20's and late 60's. I've found this is really the best way for me to make and keep friends.
It's more difficult for me to find and relate to people my own age, but it's always kind of been that way for me. There is such a wealth of knowledge and adventure to be had.
Financially sound parents matter !!! Having parent who cam financially help you reach your goals MATTER
This! I had friends whose parents were college educated and some made six figure salaries. You better believe they had cars, bills paid by parents, no student loans, etc. It makes a HUGE difference.
They are so respectful and considerate toward eachother.
It’s always the people who order booze and a bunch of apps that want to split the check “evenly”. I get that it’s “easier”, but I don’t drink, so no, I’m not paying for your bottle of wine.
When I was a kid I saw that splitting the check scene on F.r.i.e.n.d.s and didn’t realize how real it was until it happened to me. I was on the broke side. Single mom, Marine (I think I was a corporal at the time), living paycheck to paycheck. I had maybe 20 bucks total to spend that night. I thought we were just going to the club, but they wanted to go to a restaurant in between. The friends who were out and making good money ordered more expensive food. The ones who were still in and living paycheck to paycheck ordered the cheapest stuff off the menu, I think I just had an appetizer and another friend just ordered a salad. When the bill came guess who wanted to split the bill evenly? Luckily, someone spoke up about how that was completely unfair and we ended up having the bill split to where each person paid for what they ordered.
I always find this situation weird cause in my country you supposed to pay for what you order, and if you eat appetizers with everyone then is evenly distributed
I love the two thirds/one third split. It’s very generous.
My boyfriend and I do the same thing! My family at first said it was unfair that we weren't splitting the cost down the middle but I explained that he can't pay more for rent. The other option would be for us to move about 40 minutes away from our families and jobs and then we could find a place we could split rent equally.
Or, we could live exactly where we want to be and I pay more in rent because I have the means to.
I think they understand now
I think it’s more accurate to use the word “equitable”
love these candid Q and A's with these interesting relationships being showcased in a really healthy and respectful way!
Again - 2 normal people on the internet. I’m here for it 🎉
I remember a few instances with my roommates where we went out and was expected to split the bill equally, even though I made significantly less than the other two. It felt really awkward with a lot of pressure for me to spend, even when I was very careful and intensional about what I ordered. I wish I had the courage to speak up at the time.
Our rent went up recently by 12%... My roommates who are all from well off families were happy to split the new 300 evenly :( even though I pay the least and that would be a much greater increase proportionally for me. I did speak up but it's uncomfortable. We have different mindsets for sure.
This is by far the most raw and honest discussion I have heard on youtube! Thank you so much!
I really appreciate the thoughtfulness and nuance in this conversation - it's not just salary but current circumstances, family support, safety net, debt, living situation, etc, that makes up someone's level of financial security. I'm kind of right in the middle of my friends (I have some friends who make less than me and some who make much more) so I spend a lot of time thinking about this because I frequently occupy different positions in the dynamic depending on who I'm making plans with.
Love this friendship and the dynamic between both of them
In a world overflowing with hustle culture messaging and talk about if you work hard enough you will make it. This is a reminder that the majority of someone’s future expected income/wealth is conditional on their parents wealth/income. The whole social mobility storyline is just fantasy (data supports this as well, look up the great gatsby curve). So let’s all be gentle and understanding of each other’s background and life situations. Loved this episode!!
I want these women back, please. This might help some older women, who are looking at rooming as a way to decrease expenditures. Everything one can think of, should be discussed along with things like health and current disabilities, and what happens if a disability occurs. We may want to have roomies but not want to become nurses. These two have a unique, and fortunately compatible, friendship. Plus, I want to hear about Africa! :)
What a wholesome friendship 😊
Now I’d really like to hear about her experience backpacking in Africa with only 700$. Can you interview her again, please?
Oh, and the hospitality issue...
I remember a birthday party when a friend of mine invited me to a fancy hotel restaurant to celebrate her birthday; she always celebrates like this. I don't mind; I can afford it, but...
There were 12 of us, and we ended up with one shared bill, but "everyone paid for themselves." Do not engage in this under any circumstances!
The "smart" ones who paid first said, I'm paying for this and that. I was among the last three people to leave, surprised that I had to pay for things I didn't even taste :-(. I'm a veggie lover at heart and I had that, but I paid for someone's filet mignon steak…
Do yourself a favor, and don't go for it even if you can afford it. It will probably leave you with a bitter aftertaste, as it did me that evening.
It’s interesting how people from different backgrounds view money. Especially if they grew up in a household that wouldn’t speak on money. I grow up in a house where money is the main thing that we talk about in basic conversation. I’m still learning more about money as I grow, but it helps having people that are willing to speak about money so that you’re not going in blind.
This is so, so helpful because I've had to navigate both sides of this and it's great to hear what's worked for others.
the conversation I needed to hear. I strive for friendships like this.
Nobody can suddenly become prosperous financially. Although they did the background work, we mostly see the ultimate product. Fear is a harmful factor that prevents us from making the courageous decisions we need to make in order to achieve our goals. You have to deal with things like inflation, the recession, Fed policies, and more. In just a few months, I was able to add $289k to my portfolio.
@Brilliantrans That's fascinating. How can I contact your Asset-coach as my portfolio is dwindling?
@Brilliantrans Thank you for this tip. It was easy to find your coach. Did my due diligence on her before scheduling a phone call with her. She seems proficient considering her resume.
Keep 'em coming! This is my fav show.
Truly enjoyed this open dialogue! Wonderful friendship!
Hi I'm from Canada. So I loved how Corinne described privilege but didn't utter the word at a single moment or at least once lol I know that the video is titled "Radically Different Incomes" but my mind went straight class (no pun intended) because I heard that people who were within an income bracket of $30,000-$90,000 were still considered middle-class, it's just that Corinne is from the upper-middle class and that Christina is from the lower-middle class, where differences may still exist but are nonetheless middle class. My intention is not to gatekeep girlboss the working class or anything, I wish they had asked more questions around Capitalism and had spoken more openly about that in order to point out that not everything is question of financial responsibility. Because then we run the risk of gaslighting the folks out here who are genuinely trying to earn a living and manage their finances, only if they had the chance and the time, maybe next time. Maybe next time, they can bring a working class friend and a middle class friend together or an upper middle class friend and a working class friend if that exist nowadays lol
Canadian here as well! I was also stricken by much of language choice here. I felt that they used a lot of fluffy language instead of speaking directly. Like even saying "a more financially sustainable job" than saying a higher paying job.
Certain words have certain effects on people from the way they have been used in our discourse. They add extra meaning or implications where none might have been intended. “Privilege” is one of those words. Yes, this video is inherently about privilege. But that word carries with it meaning above and beyond what the dictionary definition does, for better or for worse. Often times when people hear the word “privilege” their first thought is that they are being attacked. They think “this person doesn’t think I earned what I have. They think I had everything handed to me.” Even though that’s not what that word means lol but those are the emotions that can bubble up under the surface that the speaker didn’t intend. So it’s probably good that they chose their words well here.
I think it’s important to qualify that $30k in many parts of the US (and particularly cities) isn’t middle class. In my state and city, $30k is low-income, and it’s under the ceiling to qualify for at least a few state assistance/welfare programs. I don’t live in new york, but I do know it’s one of the most expensive cities in the world (usually 1st or 2nd in the US), so $30k isn’t effectively “middle class.” The federal poverty line guidelines in the US also haven’t been updated in many years, so it’s worth taking that into account in addition to regional differences.
It's called not being shallow and valuing friendship and time spent together. Also, spending habits are different. There can be those making way more than 80k but are frugal, someone can make less and have a more extravagant lifestyle.
I had a "full tution scholarship" when I started university, but they increased fees by over 33% by my senior year, so it was far from full tution. It's horrible. A hs senior has no clue what they're in for.
That is so interesting. My college "froze" tuition for each year. So my senior year cost the same as my freshman year. But new freshmen were paying a different amount, even if we took the same class. (I was missing a low level credit for my minor)
What an enviable friendship. This is great.
What a great convo. As someone who has made significantly less than my friends over the years, its nice to have such open conversations.
THIS is the info needed! My bff and I have had this similar problem for about 7 years now 😕
The biggest financial mistake question- NOT INVESTING!!! I honestly didn't realize a TFSA (in Canada) is an investment vehicle, not a savings account. I had a decent amount in my account just sitting for a couple years, making basically no interest :( and then used it for a down payment. Financial education is so important, and I will be talking to my children about money.
That was so real and wholesome. Thank you.
Could we do this for dating? Particularly the woman being the hirer earner
Hopefully not from only fans income or it doesn’t count.
@@7oeseven793 I don’t care what the women’s income source is, but if you’re suggesting that’s what I do for income you’re wrong. I’m an IT Project Manager.
@@jonesie8377no I didnt suggest you do this. Its just that if they were to make such video, it shouldn’t be from onlyfans people because its easy money and not respected way to make high income.
@@jonesie8377 Women in general should not date guys that earn less than they do. He will harbor resentment and try to express his masculinity through cheating and other abusive behaviors.
Unless he is projected to out earn you by the time you marry (1 to 2 years), it’s not wise. It works for some, but it is a risk. Please get a prenup and do not disclose all of the income and net worth that you have to him. Regardless of what you earn, let him foot the bill 90%-100% of the time. If he needs your help, do not help him. Let him figure it out or let him collaborate with other men in his circle. As his girlfriend/intimate partner, never play the role of savior, mother, bank or therapist. ❤
@@AminaPhilosophy Thanks for your comment Eve, I’m sure people have many different dynamics, but he is temporarily a lower earner than I as he is in his last year of his masters program in Cybersecurity. I respect everyone’s position but we have traditional values 😊.
love the honesty and openness
I really appreciated this conversation!!
I love their dynamic!
The let's-go-out-to-eat-and-we-pay-equally is really bullshit. It's a touchy subject, because especially if it's a birthday or someone's farewell party, you don't want to miss out, but being the only person saying "sorry i cannot pay that" is also tough, makes you seem like a stingy person, who doesn't care about their friends. The other week I made sure not to drink much, while there were people just drinking one expensive drink after the other, and in the end, when they wanted to pay "equally", I got told "well, thats what we do, no matter who drank how much"
It is, but one needs to be assertive.
I don't expect my less well off friends to foot a bill that's unreasonable for them, nor will I accept to pay for something that's unreasonable to me.
If it's not a big deal to me and I want to do an activity together, I will pay for the other person.
I used to be shy and uncomfortable around these money discussions, or about ordering something paid by wealthier friends, now I just straight up state what's reasonable and what's isn't.
It's a terrible thing in society when both sides are perpetually uncomfortable with these discussions.
E.g. in high school one of my friends couldn't get the winter sweater for the uniform due to some money issues, and I wanted to get it for her, because it's nuts that she'd be cold in school. She refused repeatedly. That's not a great approach. I expected nothing from her except wanting her to be warm and comfortable in class.
Or I found it difficult to let my now ex buy me food. He taught me over time that it was no big deal for him, and he was happy when I was happy.
these two feel like theyre dating ? like genuinely they just mesh so well that if i had just seen this w/o knowing they were just friends who were roommates i mightve even thought they were married 😭
This is an amazing conversation and reflects what a true, supportive friendship should look like - that comes through even when looking through just a financial lens
Love these two! Love the openness of this conversation. I love having conversations with friends about money, removing the shame surrounding money makes life so much better. ❤❤
Removing the shame >>>
Personally, I don't know that "don't take big risks" is the best advice, more "don't take random or unconsidered risks", like take the risk to start a business idea or try a new club or learn to dance, but don't take drugs for fun and drive under the influence of anything; I only say that because one of my biggest mistakes was not taking the RIGHT risks, and sticking to the things that seemed "safe" and "right" because everything was saying that those were the right things to do but they ultimately didn't provide the safety net I wanted them to provide and it just meant that I hadn't gained the safety of the "right" decision NOR had I gained the lessons or unexpected wins of the considered risks; "avoiding risk" and "doing the right thing" just became a great way to avoid making my own decisions and finding my own path which ultimately would have taught me more about myself and led me to MY right path
Are these women accepting applications for friendships? 😂
This is such a wholesome comment, I hope we can end the loneliness epidemic by creating our Legally Blonde resumés /CV's and hand them out to people who need a friend in order to navigate this ocean called life. Have a great day everybody!
@@BeautyAnarchist
"Here's my resume."
"It's pink."
"It's scented, too. I think it gives it a little something extra." ❤️🌷✨
This is so great for friends or even romantic partners. A very healthy conversation.
I like that this is a clear example of how the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor.
This is such a good conversation. I like how the 80k friend acknowledges her privilege of not having student debt. But I really don’t think the other roommate shouldn’t have gone to grad school at this point.
I really, really enjoy these conversations with friends. Keep them coming!
Aw this was great, thank you! ❤
Such a wholesome and interesting convo :- )
It’s great that they are sharing this information. I’m not from the US and I came from a middle class home and perhaps I can’t fully understand how things work there, but I’m not sure why someone would do a Master’s degree in NYC with such a low income. I graduated from college about a decade ago and focused on working, getting experience and when I was able to afford it, I did my master’s. I think education matters and it’s a great way for many people to succeed professionally and financially, but not when you graduate with thousands of dollars of debt. Also, we need to be realistic, live within our means and make a plan so that our financial struggles don’t become the norm.
Some colleges have a higher standing than other in the US. They are referred to as 'Ivy League' colleges. You could have better chances at securing a higher paying job. Though yes I do understand your question cause to me the system in the US is also rather strange.
You go to graduate school with a minimal income because 1) you are young and can easily get on track studying, 2) the economy is bad and you are waiting for it to improve while having the safety of being a student, 3) you get offered scholarships and professional opportunities while being super poor in grad school that cost more than 6x when you are not a student, 4) you don't have children or a spouse that make it harder to study, 5) your age is more similar to everyone around you so you don't feel like a dinosaur around the kids, and 6) because grad school sometimes is a requirement to progress in your field. I just graduated from graduate school with a full ride, I have been friends with old and young grad students, those with partners/children and those single like me, and this comment came from that collective experience. Sometimes being poor is the right choice, even though it's painful.
This was such a great conversation!❤
This is a phenomenal video. Thank you.
Do activities hiking, biking, most sports together. Don't cost much, only time. Income doesn't matter
they're assuming big earners = big spenders lol.
Foreigner here, when speaking of incomes, are they talking before or after taxes ?
Probably before. Most Americans reference their salary pre-tax
85k for a 24 year old? are the salaries higher in the US or is that quite a lot?
Yes and yes 😂
Her salary is also inflated because she lives in NYC. Someone who works the same job as me in a bigger and more expensive city makes more money because expenses are so much higher.
this is a pretty high salary for a 24 year old
In NYC or California cities that is not a lot of $, that salary would be cut in half or reduced by a third if she lived someplace cheaper.
@@bellanoche6116 one thing people forget is NYC and Cali tax means for you to make the same money as someone living in a low tax state you also just need to make more $
this is a great conversation
I freaking love this video!!! Wow. Love love love. I am excited that you're soliciting more of these conversations.
And radically different heights from the look of it
This reminds of my sister. I pay more in income taxes than she makes in gross income :)
That's a great and healthy friendship
Damn that rent isn’t too bad. But nice of you to do the split that way.
Loved this. Would love to hear more
Always love these conversations, curious to see more international people in these, would even volunteer myself to do it!
I like how they split the rent equitably instead of equally. They have very different incomes and 1/2 split is not equitable for the lower income room mate.
I do that with my partner. She pays less because she makes less. My previous partner who made substantially more was NOT ok with that. She went on vacations without me because she could afford it and insisted I pay half. I’m so glad I’m not with her anymore.
Not the point but... To the speakers, and to everyone in the comments sharing their god awful experiences with the split equally. I am genuinely surprised, because this has never been my experience. This what I've experienced, 1) usually fighting to be the person who treats the other's meal, 2) someone agrees to just drop a $20 (way more than what their food costs) and letting wveryone else split the rest, 3) everyone pays their own, 4) somebody pays when everyone else is not looking, or 5) we all accept that the highest paying elder person (uncle/auntie/lead researcher/etc.) Is paying by seniority/income and we are grateful. Granted I've always lived in small towns in rural America and been among people of color, but I am really really surprised about this split equally arrangement that seems more like capitalism: take advantage of the poor also paying taxes so the taxpayers can bail the company out. Not cool man :/
hold on - how did they get a 3 bedroom that affordable in nyc and can we move in?! 😆good for them!
loved this ep!
Thank you for doing this!
lol best part. makes over 80k at a college. This is why we have a student debt crisis.
Really love this topic.
So amazing!!
This is interesting. Never seen before
Excellent series.
I really like this conversation though I'm anxious for the generous friend that pay more for the rent while not receiving more. I've seen this work in families and couples generally. All my friends who live together split rent equally unless they getting more than just a bedroom (bedroom and their own bathroom). Often this builds resentment due to a lack of communication or just plain disagreements.
She is getting an extra room which she uses as an office.
Where do y’all find friends like this?😮😅
They are basically platonically dating each other
85k is not much for living in a city
I love these open conversations between real people
Even at 30k I’m not sure how she affords 900 a month…that’s like her entire monthly budget after taxes
She’s not paying much if anything in taxes at 30k
@@righteousmammon9011 she is definitely paying something and may get it back as a refund. Which isn’t very helpful for a monthly budget
woah Christina is so tall
Having a weird time with this with my sister. Vastly different lifestyles.
Where can you get a 2BR for $2750?
I wonder why people call the ones from doctor families (for example) privileged..... like their families became wealthy by miracle or what. also if the family is financially educated and worked on having a budget for their child..... it's not a privilege per se, it's a result of your ancestors struggle and hard work same as of everyone else's. there's nothing to be sorry about in front of the ones who don't have such 'priviliege'. I'm not from a family that is 'financially smart/wealthy' but the look of the girl on the left is like she is apologetic about her parents working their asses off and it's ridiculous how everyone is supposed to be sorry about anything good he has in life that is a direct result of his ancestry and more often than not their brain cells and life choices. bruh
No one has to be sorry for having privilege - but benefitting off of successes from previous familial generations that you didn't have to work for is, in fact, a privilege! It is important to acknowledge that not everyone is starting from the same place.
@@thefinancialdiet no one starting from the same place but if you had children, wouldn’t you want to help them it would be only natural no matter what country you lived in or what culture.
When I was a grad student, I made 22 thousand dollars a year. I paid off my student loans 5 years and 1 month after finishing my PhD.
I think being friends and being housemates are entirely different scenarios. I lived with my best friend for years, and she had a very different financial situation than I did. I, based on my own experience, would not recommend this dynamic.
Same if the rent aint 50/50 I’m not doing it tbh
@@MISSMADISONMEDIA right, lowkey that was weird for me to hear.
@@MISSMADISONMEDIA The 2/3 person got exclusive access to the third bedroom. While 50/50 makes sense if each person only has one bedroom, a slightly different split makes more sense is one person is getting additional space. I've been in some weird quasi-dorm shared room situations with friends, and our rent was always a bit lower since there were two of us crammed into one room. The cost for the other room mates was still reduced by having the extra body in there, but our rent was proportionally smaller. I think one case it was four of us living in a 3 BR house that rented for $1100/month. The two of us in a single room paid $250 each, and the individuals with their own room paid $300 each. (I just gave away my age with those rent numbers, didn't I....)
@@MISSMADISONMEDIAthen split the space 50/50.. she uses the third room as an office and guest room.. you think if one person "owns" two of the three rooms the rent should still be split 50/50??? You don't sound like a great roommate lolol
Frankly, I believe if they are genuinely content with their living situation then they must have some level of platonic connection that provides enough value to justify the financial compromises. And that’s ok. We don’t know what their darkest days have looked like, I bet you they share a special connection that is making it all worth it for them.
Interesting!
Is it just the camera perspective or is Christina like 50% taller than Corinne?
Certainly not over 50%
Why does gray shirt talk like it hurts her to say what she has to say
That's incredibly sad for a grad student to be making $33K with over $100K in debt.
Who needs friends when you have all that MONEY
Love these two and these conversations are so important!! I'd also be curious to hear from couples as well!
student debt is why i wont do masters it’s a dream i might never be able to afford
TLDR - I think that better alternative is to aply at European universities.
There is no privilege, why won't you come to foreign country? In any southern or eastern european region you can easily aply to be a native speaker at any english school, and a cost of 1 semester at university is much lower than in America. Probably you will be able to rent an apartement for yourself (not only a bedroom) near university, pay your tuition and get some money to spend without any debt. You want to change something, then go somwhere else and don't pay extreme amout of money for this spoiled scholarship system. You DON'T have to. American passport gives you an entry everywhere.
Pro tip if you will work in european country - you will get public healthcare payed from your taxes and additional private healthcare that costs about 30$/month.
For god's sake you don't have to learn any foreign language. Stop talking about privilege and change it.
If i got it right in US the only argument that they understand is money, so if young people will decide to not participate in US system and go somwhere else, they would change the trend.
Sorry it makes me angry how all of you just talks about having troubles with paying off the student's loan, and none is trying to search some alternative ways to get a master's degree.
I have a friend who described 3 different elective cosmetic surgeries she had to hide her age knowing I have a chronic illness and had worked a year and a half at a company and still hadn't qualified for health insurance.
I'm sorry Hun .
I dont see the relation