I would like professional help with my anxious attachment I really hate the way I feel, and it’s ruining my relationship. My girlfriend is an avoidant.
The sheer exhaustion from the excessive mental pain that comes with having an anxious attachment style has helped me take massive steps to changing myself for the better into a secure attachment style since I’ll do anything to avoid feeling that way ever again. For the first time in my life I feel almost fully at ease, almost fully ok. I’ve a little way to go still. Pain can be such a great teacher, ironically!
@@metapod666 sorry for the late reply. Yes as someone mentioned int his reply, go through the pain and just decide that I never want to go through it again. Understanding why you behave the way you do really helps you to understand how and why you need change too.
I just had a coaching session with Craig today and he told me I needed to work on healing my anxious attachment style. One hour later he posts this video. I appreciate you coach 😂
6 months ago I could hardly say "I am good enough" and say my feeling "I am not good enough" out load without tearing up. I love the Creative healing course and it have helped alot during my burn-out even though I haven't had much mental energy to do it. I was probably left for another person a year ago, and I am still here, dating, meeting new people, doing new stuff and I have alot of good things coming in my near future! Keep working on yourself, it does get better!
My trauma came from my ex girlfriend covert narcissist, this gave me the feeling i did so much and she just dismissed me. After years of healing and casual relationships i met a nice girl and we had a great time, but i noticed some things the narc also did, silent treatment, difficult conversations about emotions, ignore me, mixed signals, hot and cold. Then after almost 1,5 years of on and off she broke up with me. I did not understand what has happened and I saw an explanation about attachment styles and avoidants and it hit me, she was a da or fa and i was secure and became anxious. But now i know the anxious side, triggers are due to my period with the covert narc. Now im taking the time to heal and be on my own, good times will come again. My ex and i have no contact for almost 6 months now, but its okay, i wish her the best and I will run into a sweet girl again who is more stable and consistant. The mixed signals, the emotional distance and ignoring me made me anxious.
@@deezydzh i am doing okay and I did not hear from that ex again. I healed and ofcourse i have my memories about that time, but i am going forward and I met a nice girl a couple months ago and i have a good time again.
Absolutely 💯 I used to be very anxious but having an anxious SO of 3 1/2 yrs I've grown so much internally 🤗 I am my best ME🤗 Thanks Craig and Margaret for the videos
Been working on my anxious tendencies since I first heard about this channel around March of last year. Some great progress, but it's ongoing. There are no quick fixes! Takes a whole lot of effort and it feels like there's always more room to grow.
Trust your gut if you think something is going in a certain negative direction leave the situation evacuate the environment remember you don't have to explain yourself to anyone it's ok to care about yourself and your boundaries never tolerate negative behavior directed at you or vindictive actions.
Me and my ex separated yesterday. Before it happened, I was ready for it and thought I'd be fine. Turns out separation anxiety is terrible. I got a brief respite by saying 'I am safe' out loud. It settled me.
I've been through a couple of terrible break ups of long term relationships. Personally I have reached the conclusion that one person is not solely to blame if things didn't work out. There's nothing wrong with being anxious, everyone is different. Personally I will be looking for a more tolerant and understanding person for future relationships. If I'm anxious from time to time it's ok.
Thanks for this video. I definitely have an anxious attachment style (though I wasn't jealous or controlling, just overly needy and clingy). I'm doing the Creative Healing Course now and I'm going to therapy. I'm trying to stay motivated. Not only has my ex-GF (8 weeks post breakup now) unfriended me but now she has blocked me altogether on Facebook (though not on Messenger so it's not a total block--but I won't be messaging her unless she contacts me first). I can't help but feel my chances with my ex are next to nil now. It's just very depressing at this point. It seems she is doing all she can to erase me from her past now. I'll have to try to work on moving on at this point. But it's just an awful feeling. I made plenty of mistakes. But I was never cruel, abusive and I never yelled at her. I tried to be good to her (though I realize now that at least was partly due to my anxious attachment issues). I didn't even try to contact her or her family/friends after the breakup, have not stalked her. I just wish I knew why she despises me so much now. I'll continue to try to work on my own issues. Despite all that has happened I still only wish my ex-GF the best. I hope she finds her happiness. I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made and will try to learn from them. This video was very helpful. There's plenty of information about anxious attachment out there, but not as much about how to deal with it so thanks to Coach Craig and Victoria.
Well, I'm unblocked on Facebook now so not sure what happened there. Maybe I misread the situation and she was having some technical issues with her profile. Or maybe on further thought she decided not to block me. It doesn't change what I'm doing, and I won't contact her unless she contacts me. But it does make me feel a little better, I guess relieved that she isn't trying to erase me from her history. I don't hold grudges. All that does is saps your energy. I want to get to the point that I remember the good times we had. I hope she can do the same.
the way i look at this behavior is you’re still in her head. she’s still thinking about you if she would go to the trouble of blocking you even if you’re not interacting with her. she might have blocked you for her own sanity, maybe she keeps finding her way to your profile.
@@SkylerOakley It was kind of weird because then yesterday she then unblocked me. So not sure what's going on. Maybe she realized she went too far by blocking me since I have not tried to contact her or bother her in any way. Or maybe it was some kind of test to see if I would do something, like try to contact her about it. I don't think it was accidental because there are a couple steps you have to take to block/unblock somebody. It's not like accidently liking a post. In any event it doesn't really change anything unless she contacts me first. I'm just going to keep working on my issues in the meantime so if she does contact me at some point I can show I've evolved from the person I was. I have to admit, though, I was glad to be unblocked. We're still not Facebook friends, obviously, but I didn't like that she blocked me because I didn't do anything. I'm trying to give her space, and it bugged me to think she might hate me or despise me. As painful as the breakup is for me, I could never hate her. I'll always try to remember the good times we had and she'll always have a place in my heart since I fell in love with her.
"I didn't even try to contact her or her family/friends after the breakup, have not stalked her." - sorry but why do you know about all of the unfriending and blocking if you haven't stalked her? Go full no contact. Get everything of her out of sight and focus on yourself instead of her Facebook etc.
What if I understand where all the anxiety comes from but I still feel it? I have read books, watched many many videos. Yet I can't seem to change the way I feel..
I'm just sat here with big anxiety as my partner is pulling away and I'm now using protest behaviour. Sick of this feeling. He damaged my trust and it's set me off again. I have been ok for nearly two years.
My ex won’t stop reaching out to me and is showing a lot of signs they still care for me but how do I take all of that and get them to ask to try again?? 2.5 year relationship and 2 months ago she wanted me to purpose… but she said she felt neglected and not prioritized… it’s true I wasn’t present the last 4/5 months but I really do understand what she means to me now
How about when you're dating someone who is also dating someone else and they take joy in telling you how amazing the sex is with their other love interest. Any tips about working through the anxiety that acompanies that scenario?
I think this scenario is not healthy. You are literally doing this to yourself at this point. Perhaps it's time to ask yourself why you feel like you don't deserve someone who is committed to you and only you? You deserve the world, and you should know it and be with someone who can give that to you
my ex is a divorced mother of older kids . Her ex hubby cheated on her and destroyed her family. she still talks to him . I dated her for 4 years and was told by her . i am very kind and respectful. well she dumped me and blocked me . yet she still talks to her ex husband. the guy who destroyed her family. yet i get block . Women !!!
Do The Creative Healing Course and you will blow away everyone in your life! 🙌💪❤️
I would like professional help with my anxious attachment I really hate the way I feel, and it’s ruining my relationship. My girlfriend is an avoidant.
I’m a truck driver and I don’t know how to get the workbooks
The sheer exhaustion from the excessive mental pain that comes with having an anxious attachment style has helped me take massive steps to changing myself for the better into a secure attachment style since I’ll do anything to avoid feeling that way ever again. For the first time in my life I feel almost fully at ease, almost fully ok. I’ve a little way to go still. Pain can be such a great teacher, ironically!
What did you do to help you grow?
@@metapod666 go through pain and decide its never going to happen again that way
That part! 👏👏
@@metapod666 sorry for the late reply. Yes as someone mentioned int his reply, go through the pain and just decide that I never want to go through it again. Understanding why you behave the way you do really helps you to understand how and why you need change too.
Lessons not learned in blood are soon forgotten.
I just had a coaching session with Craig today and he told me I needed to work on healing my anxious attachment style. One hour later he posts this video. I appreciate you coach 😂
Not hearing from my partner definitely triggers my anxiety. However, I don't call repeatedly or at all. Big step from last year. 😊
I’m suffering from anxious attachment so bad it’s consuming me. I’m working towards healing. Meditation, prayer and therapy.
I feel most comfortable and at ease and able to be myself when I'm alone. Being alone is the best
6 months ago I could hardly say "I am good enough" and say my feeling "I am not good enough" out load without tearing up. I love the Creative healing course and it have helped alot during my burn-out even though I haven't had much mental energy to do it. I was probably left for another person a year ago, and I am still here, dating, meeting new people, doing new stuff and I have alot of good things coming in my near future! Keep working on yourself, it does get better!
One of the best videos ever 🙌...Focus on healing anxious attachment style..It's sooooooooo difficult.!!!
My trauma came from my ex girlfriend covert narcissist, this gave me the feeling i did so much and she just dismissed me. After years of healing and casual relationships i met a nice girl and we had a great time, but i noticed some things the narc also did, silent treatment, difficult conversations about emotions, ignore me, mixed signals, hot and cold. Then after almost 1,5 years of on and off she broke up with me. I did not understand what has happened and I saw an explanation about attachment styles and avoidants and it hit me, she was a da or fa and i was secure and became anxious. But now i know the anxious side, triggers are due to my period with the covert narc. Now im taking the time to heal and be on my own, good times will come again. My ex and i have no contact for almost 6 months now, but its okay, i wish her the best and I will run into a sweet girl again who is more stable and consistant. The mixed signals, the emotional distance and ignoring me made me anxious.
how has it been since? have you heard from that ex you mentioned?
@@deezydzh i am doing okay and I did not hear from that ex again. I healed and ofcourse i have my memories about that time, but i am going forward and I met a nice girl a couple months ago and i have a good time again.
@@wilvandenham837 good for you brotha ❤️
Absolutely 💯 I used to be very anxious but having an anxious SO of 3 1/2 yrs I've grown so much internally 🤗 I am my best ME🤗 Thanks Craig and Margaret for the videos
Been working on my anxious tendencies since I first heard about this channel around March of last year. Some great progress, but it's ongoing. There are no quick fixes! Takes a whole lot of effort and it feels like there's always more room to grow.
Also RIP Coach Margaret
:(
Do the work! Results will come in time
Trust your gut if you think something is going in a certain negative direction leave the situation evacuate the environment remember you don't have to explain yourself to anyone it's ok to care about yourself and your boundaries never tolerate negative behavior directed at you or vindictive actions.
If you're anxious you shouldn't trust your gut lol
That’s so avoidant 😂😂
If your chasing someone, your running away from yourself, and usually if your chasing someone, someone is running away from you
17:30 is so crucial to understand. So glad you said this!!
Me and my ex separated yesterday. Before it happened, I was ready for it and thought I'd be fine. Turns out separation anxiety is terrible. I got a brief respite by saying 'I am safe' out loud. It settled me.
Thank you Craig and Victoria
I've been through a couple of terrible break ups of long term relationships. Personally I have reached the conclusion that one person is not solely to blame if things didn't work out.
There's nothing wrong with being anxious, everyone is different. Personally I will be looking for a more tolerant and understanding person for future relationships. If I'm anxious from time to time it's ok.
I’ve learned so much from you guys
You both have described me exactly 100%
I’ve been in a rut for years. Don’t know how to get past it. I’m stuck and losing everything.
Thanks for this video. I definitely have an anxious attachment style (though I wasn't jealous or controlling, just overly needy and clingy). I'm doing the Creative Healing Course now and I'm going to therapy. I'm trying to stay motivated. Not only has my ex-GF (8 weeks post breakup now) unfriended me but now she has blocked me altogether on Facebook (though not on Messenger so it's not a total block--but I won't be messaging her unless she contacts me first). I can't help but feel my chances with my ex are next to nil now. It's just very depressing at this point. It seems she is doing all she can to erase me from her past now. I'll have to try to work on moving on at this point. But it's just an awful feeling. I made plenty of mistakes. But I was never cruel, abusive and I never yelled at her. I tried to be good to her (though I realize now that at least was partly due to my anxious attachment issues). I didn't even try to contact her or her family/friends after the breakup, have not stalked her. I just wish I knew why she despises me so much now. I'll continue to try to work on my own issues. Despite all that has happened I still only wish my ex-GF the best. I hope she finds her happiness. I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made and will try to learn from them. This video was very helpful. There's plenty of information about anxious attachment out there, but not as much about how to deal with it so thanks to Coach Craig and Victoria.
Well, I'm unblocked on Facebook now so not sure what happened there. Maybe I misread the situation and she was having some technical issues with her profile. Or maybe on further thought she decided not to block me. It doesn't change what I'm doing, and I won't contact her unless she contacts me. But it does make me feel a little better, I guess relieved that she isn't trying to erase me from her history. I don't hold grudges. All that does is saps your energy. I want to get to the point that I remember the good times we had. I hope she can do the same.
I relate to this heavy dude, wishing you best
the way i look at this behavior is you’re still in her head. she’s still thinking about you if she would go to the trouble of blocking you even if you’re not interacting with her. she might have blocked you for her own sanity, maybe she keeps finding her way to your profile.
@@SkylerOakley It was kind of weird because then yesterday she then unblocked me. So not sure what's going on. Maybe she realized she went too far by blocking me since I have not tried to contact her or bother her in any way. Or maybe it was some kind of test to see if I would do something, like try to contact her about it. I don't think it was accidental because there are a couple steps you have to take to block/unblock somebody. It's not like accidently liking a post. In any event it doesn't really change anything unless she contacts me first. I'm just going to keep working on my issues in the meantime so if she does contact me at some point I can show I've evolved from the person I was. I have to admit, though, I was glad to be unblocked. We're still not Facebook friends, obviously, but I didn't like that she blocked me because I didn't do anything. I'm trying to give her space, and it bugged me to think she might hate me or despise me. As painful as the breakup is for me, I could never hate her. I'll always try to remember the good times we had and she'll always have a place in my heart since I fell in love with her.
"I didn't even try to contact her or her family/friends after the breakup, have not stalked her." - sorry but why do you know about all of the unfriending and blocking if you haven't stalked her? Go full no contact. Get everything of her out of sight and focus on yourself instead of her Facebook etc.
Really great advice! Thank you!!❤️
Thank you so much for helping me understand 💕
I love listening to you guys
What an excellent video❤❤❤❤❤ thank you so much❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you so much ❤
What if I understand where all the anxiety comes from but I still feel it? I have read books, watched many many videos. Yet I can't seem to change the way I feel..
The person you described at 13:50 is me. I'm tired of living like this
Heal away!!
Ok, off topic, but does anyone else whistle along with the theme music? Or is it just me?
I'm just sat here with big anxiety as my partner is pulling away and I'm now using protest behaviour. Sick of this feeling. He damaged my trust and it's set me off again. I have been ok for nearly two years.
My ex won’t stop reaching out to me and is showing a lot of signs they still care for me but how do I take all of that and get them to ask to try again?? 2.5 year relationship and 2 months ago she wanted me to purpose… but she said she felt neglected and not prioritized… it’s true I wasn’t present the last 4/5 months but I really do understand what she means to me now
An Ai version of Margret? Sign me up ☺️🙏✨
Watched few dozens of videos on attachment styles and I still can’t figure out which one is mine and my ex’s
I hurt my own feelings all the time. -anxious attachers
I am both, anxious and avoidant, how can I deal with that? 😅
Do my Creative Healing Course!
Victoria is beautiful ❤️
How about when you're dating someone who is also dating someone else and they take joy in telling you how amazing the sex is with their other love interest. Any tips about working through the anxiety that acompanies that scenario?
Get out. It's just not worth it! They have their own attachment issues that don't consider your needs.
I think this scenario is not healthy. You are literally doing this to yourself at this point. Perhaps it's time to ask yourself why you feel like you don't deserve someone who is committed to you and only you? You deserve the world, and you should know it and be with someone who can give that to you
my ex is a divorced mother of older kids . Her ex hubby cheated on her and destroyed her family. she still talks to him . I dated her for 4 years and was told by her . i am very kind and respectful. well she dumped me and blocked me . yet she still talks to her ex husband. the guy who destroyed her family. yet i get block . Women !!!
You make a great couple
Guess I have another thing to blame on my drunk mom
Thank you for laughing when talking about all of these matters. It made me so uncomfortable that I decided not to watch.
I agree with most of what you say, but affirmations are bullshit and a waste of time.
That sounds like an affirmation.