I have overdosed on hundreds of TH-cam vids in the last week since my beautiful boyfriend (who is actively seeking to become a more secure attacher as we are both naturally anxious attachers - I just found it triggering as I haven’t started the work), he tried to set boundaries and help me, but I wasn’t ready to receive and so he lovingly and kindly set me free a week ago and this was by far the most helpful and insightful watch yet - made me cry a river, but has helped me in massive ways to understand my brain, my unresolved trauma and my triggers that I now need to place my energy in working through. Thank you xx
It’s so hard being a handsome and “tough” man but having an anxious attachment. Everyone just tells me I’m good looking and to find another woman or they expect me to walk around like the terminator with no feelings. The truth is my feelings do get hurt and I’m somewhat sensitive inside. That’s me and I just need to continue working on ways to cope but I think I will always have these sensitive feelings.
I believe I also am anxious. But, I'm learning about this said attachment style and working on it. A man who has a sensitive side is so sexy, forreal. To see them cry or talk about how they feel and open up. It's def not common to find this in a man. Especially, in today's world and all the personality types/disorders. When they have been conditioned to not show emotions & feelings or even talk about how they feel or what's bothering them. Most keep it inside, don't talk about things, and are avoidant and shut down & bail when something becomes difficult in their life. Many cope instead and have additions and other issues. But, admitting you've got a sensitive side is amazing, and wonderful that you would even admit that.😌💯
There’s nothing wrong with having sensitive feelings. The right person for you will be able to hold your love and treasure that aspect of you. I wish you all the best on the quest for your other half ✨
This is exactly what I needed to hear in order to take the next step in my relationship. I have felt it in the pit of my stomach but have avoided taking action for all the unhealthy reasons of staying connected. Thank you all ❤
I’ve followed Mark for a long time and remember when he and Kylie had the “sacred break”, but it was a true breakup at the time. So happy to see how he is and the success he has obtained. Thanks for this interview!
I think, it is so easy to see things in hindsight and when you are out of abuse, and healing. I would NEVER say that what happened to/for me was meant to be, no one should go thru abuse. I just bought your 'Love Life' book from Bootktopia online in Australia. Can't wait to read it!
Maybe not meant to be, but still can be useful for your growth and wisdom and strength to share with others. Dirt and mud is needed for seeds to blossom out of eventually. 🙏🏽 Blessings 💐
We need to also learn how to interpret our dreams with wisdom. Just know that often times our dreams are projections of our fears and unresolved trauma.
Yessss!! THE two relationship guides who helped me align with my true relational self, and find my dream man... in one video, YES!! So happy to see Mark on your channel Matthew!
You are not alone about this . For healing understanding can help by standing aside the issues no inside to help it heal... Become an observer of your own self... be neutral, do not punish yourself, you are healing be kind to your self
I have followed Matthew for some time and others on anxious attachment. This was thee single most helpful and resonant podcast on this topic. I am blown away and thank you for this content.
What a really beautiful, enlightening and informative conversation. I have learned so much from both you and Mark Groves through the years. Thank you both for your wisdom. It’s so wonderful to see you both married with beautiful partners and sharing your beautiful experiences to help us create more loving relationships. Thank you and definitely looking forward to the next conversation with all of you and maybe Kylie too. 👏❤️
Hello all!! Around minute 27 our lovely hosts mentioned breaking this cycle of the nervous system and starting to rewire ourselves. I have been on this journey and one book I have found so helpful was Transforming Trauma: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma by James Samuel Gordon. This book has factual information about our nervous systems response to the pain as well as clinically proven techniques that help. This includes journaling, expressive mediation, even a diet that supports emotional healing and growth... I thought it might be helpful to mention . May you all feel the blessings in your journey, have faith in yourself, and be in connection to everything around you 🙏🏼
Hey Audrey and Matt, beautiful people❤. This was so good. It resonated a lot. I also love the brave choice he made to exit instagram, I'm very impressed by people that know how to take a stand for something. Blessings on your journey. I hope your book sells out everywhere and makes the best seller list.
3 of my favorite relationship people in one room?! I have been following Mark for yeeeaaarrrsss and found Matthew and Audrey just this year. I love all of the different views from the 3 of you and can’t wait to watch this video. I had to comment first, I haven’t even watched the video yet! It might totally suck haha! (Highly unlikely).
Wow, what a podcast! I'm absolutely fascinated with the chemistry between all of you, guys, works really well and smooth. Great to see Mark on your channel, I really hope you'll gather more in a future! ❤
WOW what an interview 👏👏👏 I already follow you both but this was amazing.I am anxious attachment style woman and I had to really hit that emotional rock bottom to heal few years ago through personal and spiritual growth and loving myself.There are many moments of truth are in this conversation and it went to deep. I'm so grateful to have come across it. Thank you ❤🙏
Ordered his book! 🙏🏼 this is literally the same exact situation I’m going through and relate so hard to everything. This video was SO helpful and validating. Excited to read the book!
Great podcast! Thank you! I'm totally recognising this in myself right now... like why am I single? Because I have pushed people away to protect myself.... omg I have been doing exactly what I don't want to happen to me as in leaving... that has happened to me before. Its like swings and roundabouts sometimes until I'm like OK you go or I will! And so I have left. I even got divorced... but there's always a good reason! 😮
Just got out of my first situationship (25M). We were together for abt 3mo. I definitely made a lot of mistakes but it was the best/most unsettling time of my life. She told me on the second date how she wanted to marry her ex and when I asked her abt it a few weeks later, she told me I was insecure and needed to work on those things. Nitpicked a lot abt me which me me second guess myself, pulled away when things went well (which made me insanely anxious). I felt like this was my one shot at love and I fucked it all up
My ex-girlfriend had a hard time with making it right for everyone and putting away her own needs to comfort others in times of emotional stress. When I told her that I don’t want that because it hurts me too hearing about that afterwards, that I couldn’t give her what she needed because I didn’t know, she nitpicked me a lot to for stuff she didn’t talk about with me. I feel you in some sort of way, hope u can grow on it for urself!
The ideas here are great, but that is not the clinical definition of co-dependent. The concept of co-dependency comes from the addiction literature. The dependent is the person addicted to a substance, and the co-dependent relies on the dependent and their addiction. They get their stability and worth from taking care of the addict which can lead them to subconsciously taking on an enabling role. The are co-dependent on the substance like a co-pilot is the secondary pilot of an airplane. It refers to the two people's relationship with the substance (or some other mental illness), not just their relationship with each other
I'm confused on deleting Instagram when Mark's link is below and his last post was 2 days ago???🤔 Outside of this the interview was great. I have followed Matthew for several years and love all content.
@@XYZ-qu4yq And what are "masculine" and "feminine" energies? I have come across so many arbitrary, ever-changing, culturally dependent, contradictory rules for masculinity and femininity that I have no idea what those terms even actually mean.
@@if7363 So I did give him a follow, and I will have to watch his video about "the feminization of men" because, quite frankly, that doesn't exist. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like he talks much about the anxious-avoidant style. The only videos I saw where he specifies the style type were anxious OR avoidant, not anxious AND avoidant. And he seems to talk primarily about those styles in men, not in women.
@@if7363I listen to Adam Lane Smith, and he's great. Why the "only Adam Lane Smith and everyone else sucks" language though? This guy today had amazing insights, and like he just said: "Two people walking through life is better than one. Two perspectives, two ways of seeing the world Diversity in every aspect of the world improves the world. "
what about trauma from past/childhood, but also autistic? i am what was said in this video having bad childhood. my mother was a alcholic she became agrassive, me dad was some that used drugs, i i did'nt get the love, and at age 5 they divorce, i stayed with my mom for 2 more years, then my mother could'nt take care of me any more and i needed to go to foster family for year, then my dad came back in picture but he was still usings drugs. so no love from him. how does being autistic also can be harmful thing that you live with like me?
Why not just hire someone to handle the instagram side of your business. That way, enjoy the economic potential of using Instagram but prioritize your mental health?
"Every time you love somebody, you're signing up at the exact same time for how much it's going to hurt to lose them."
Be not afraid of going slowly, be afraid only of standing still.
I feel like more often than not it’s going backwards 😅😬
I think you forgot to upload the remaining 23 hours of this conversation. I'll be waiting for it.
I have overdosed on hundreds of TH-cam vids in the last week since my beautiful boyfriend (who is actively seeking to become a more secure attacher as we are both naturally anxious attachers - I just found it triggering as I haven’t started the work), he tried to set boundaries and help me, but I wasn’t ready to receive and so he lovingly and kindly set me free a week ago and this was by far the most helpful and insightful watch yet - made me cry a river, but has helped me in massive ways to understand my brain, my unresolved trauma and my triggers that I now need to place my energy in working through. Thank you xx
It’s so hard being a handsome and “tough” man but having an anxious attachment. Everyone just tells me I’m good looking and to find another woman or they expect me to walk around like the terminator with no feelings. The truth is my feelings do get hurt and I’m somewhat sensitive inside. That’s me and I just need to continue working on ways to cope but I think I will always have these sensitive feelings.
Me too man. I over analyze so much like everything they do will hurt.
I believe I also am anxious. But, I'm learning about this said attachment style and working on it. A man who has a sensitive side is so sexy, forreal. To see them cry or talk about how they feel and open up. It's def not common to find this in a man. Especially, in today's world and all the personality types/disorders. When they have been conditioned to not show emotions & feelings or even talk about how they feel or what's bothering them. Most keep it inside, don't talk about things, and are avoidant and shut down & bail when something becomes difficult in their life. Many cope instead and have additions and other issues. But, admitting you've got a sensitive side is amazing, and wonderful that you would even admit that.😌💯
There’s nothing wrong with having sensitive feelings. The right person for you will be able to hold your love and treasure that aspect of you. I wish you all the best on the quest for your other half ✨
Male here.
I'm a 2 at eneagram and I have anxious attachment.
It hurts like hell, for me. I'm having troubles to get into a relationship. :(
It's nice to see that love is real among male and female
This is exactly what I needed to hear in order to take the next step in my relationship. I have felt it in the pit of my stomach but have avoided taking action for all the unhealthy reasons of staying connected. Thank you all ❤
I’ve followed Mark for a long time and remember when he and Kylie had the “sacred break”, but it was a true breakup at the time. So happy to see how he is and the success he has obtained. Thanks for this interview!
I never learned who I am. Retirement makes you wonder about your purpose and value.
It's never too late.
Congrats on your retirement! 🎉 You now have so much time to discover who you are and find out what you makes you happy 🫶🏻💕
I think, it is so easy to see things in hindsight and when you are out of abuse, and healing.
I would NEVER say that what happened to/for me was meant to be, no one should go thru abuse.
I just bought your 'Love Life' book from Bootktopia online in Australia. Can't wait to read it!
Maybe not meant to be, but still can be useful for your growth and wisdom and strength to share with others. Dirt and mud is needed for seeds to blossom out of eventually. 🙏🏽 Blessings 💐
We need to also learn how to interpret our dreams with wisdom. Just know that often times our dreams are projections of our fears and unresolved trauma.
Yessss!! THE two relationship guides who helped me align with my true relational self, and find my dream man... in one video, YES!! So happy to see Mark on your channel Matthew!
I love that you guys talk about your vulnerabilities. It gives us hope that we can learn to be as well adjusted as you with self awareness ❤😊
You are not alone about this .
For healing understanding can help by standing aside the issues no inside to help it heal...
Become an observer of your own self... be neutral, do not punish yourself, you are healing be kind to your self
I have followed Matthew for some time and others on anxious attachment. This was thee single most helpful and resonant podcast on this topic. I am blown away and thank you for this content.
17 minutes in and already blown away by how profound this is
What a really beautiful, enlightening and informative conversation. I have learned so much from both you and Mark Groves through the years. Thank you both for your wisdom.
It’s so wonderful to see you both married with beautiful partners and sharing your beautiful experiences to help us create more loving relationships. Thank you and definitely looking forward to the next conversation with all of you and maybe Kylie too. 👏❤️
Hello all!! Around minute 27 our lovely hosts mentioned breaking this cycle of the nervous system and starting to rewire ourselves. I have been on this journey and one book I have found so helpful was Transforming Trauma: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma by James Samuel Gordon. This book has factual information about our nervous systems response to the pain as well as clinically proven techniques that help. This includes journaling, expressive mediation, even a diet that supports emotional healing and growth... I thought it might be helpful to mention . May you all feel the blessings in your journey, have faith in yourself, and be in connection to everything around you 🙏🏼
Be Blessed!
Thank you so much for sharing this ressource ❤
It's nice to hear that love still exist between straight people
what?
Yea what?
What??
Hey Audrey and Matt, beautiful people❤. This was so good. It resonated a lot. I also love the brave choice he made to exit instagram, I'm very impressed by people that know how to take a stand for something. Blessings on your journey. I hope your book sells out everywhere and makes the best seller list.
Two is more resourceful than one. That's so true. I believe so. And it's really a good conversation. 👏🏻
I'm hella anxious attachment haha....I'm saving this to my "Sound board" playlist😂
I LOVE POWER COUPLES!!!💞🌎
These two helped me so much over the years of healing.
Great interview ❤
Perfection, please please collaborate again in the future.
Soothing to the soul! ❤
The timing of finding this interview was perfect for me! Really opened my eyes. I have ordered Mark's book as well. Thank you!
I truly believe that things/experiences don’t happen for a reason..we make meaning out of things/experiences.
I think you should have this guest again!
People who agree, like the comment pls!!!
Agreed ❤
3 of my favorite relationship people in one room?! I have been following Mark for yeeeaaarrrsss and found Matthew and Audrey just this year. I love all of the different views from the 3 of you and can’t wait to watch this video. I had to comment first, I haven’t even watched the video yet! It might totally suck haha! (Highly unlikely).
Wow, what a podcast! I'm absolutely fascinated with the chemistry between all of you, guys, works really well and smooth. Great to see Mark on your channel, I really hope you'll gather more in a future! ❤
Excellent interview, so many helpful insights here. Thank you
So many gems in this conversation 💯
WOW what an interview 👏👏👏 I already follow you both but this was amazing.I am anxious attachment style woman and I had to really hit that emotional rock bottom to heal few years ago through personal and spiritual growth and loving myself.There are many moments of truth are in this conversation and it went to deep. I'm so grateful to have come across it. Thank you ❤🙏
Ordered his book! 🙏🏼 this is literally the same exact situation I’m going through and relate so hard to everything. This video was SO helpful and validating. Excited to read the book!
Great video! I can totally relate to the anxious attachment. It’s time to heal!
Amazing interview!!! Just listened to Mark Groves’ guest feature on To Be Magnetic’s podcadt
One of the best conversations.. Live thr analogy of social media and rslationshio that.. Such a good mirror!
Great podcast! Thank you! I'm totally recognising this in myself right now... like why am I single? Because I have pushed people away to protect myself.... omg I have been doing exactly what I don't want to happen to me as in leaving... that has happened to me before. Its like swings and roundabouts sometimes until I'm like OK you go or I will! And so I have left. I even got divorced... but there's always a good reason! 😮
Just got out of my first situationship (25M). We were together for abt 3mo. I definitely made a lot of mistakes but it was the best/most unsettling time of my life. She told me on the second date how she wanted to marry her ex and when I asked her abt it a few weeks later, she told me I was insecure and needed to work on those things. Nitpicked a lot abt me which me me second guess myself, pulled away when things went well (which made me insanely anxious). I felt like this was my one shot at love and I fucked it all up
My ex-girlfriend had a hard time with making it right for everyone and putting away her own needs to comfort others in times of emotional stress. When I told her that I don’t want that because it hurts me too hearing about that afterwards, that I couldn’t give her what she needed because I didn’t know, she nitpicked me a lot to for stuff she didn’t talk about with me. I feel you in some sort of way, hope u can grow on it for urself!
Fantastic interview, so interesting. Many thanks
The ideas here are great, but that is not the clinical definition of co-dependent. The concept of co-dependency comes from the addiction literature. The dependent is the person addicted to a substance, and the co-dependent relies on the dependent and their addiction. They get their stability and worth from taking care of the addict which can lead them to subconsciously taking on an enabling role. The are co-dependent on the substance like a co-pilot is the secondary pilot of an airplane. It refers to the two people's relationship with the substance (or some other mental illness), not just their relationship with each other
The collab I’ve been waiting for 🎉🎉🎉
omg soooo coool to see you both!!!
Two long time favourites in one interview!? So happy to see this! Go Mark!! 😊
Wow….. what a great conversation…. Thank you all… thank you❤
Wow this is one of my fave ❤
So beautiful be blessed !
I really love this video i appreciate it .❤
Glad to be here!!
Omg I’m so happy to see both of my favourite coaches here ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Will there be a video for the avoidants 😅
I'm confused on deleting Instagram when Mark's link is below and his last post was 2 days ago???🤔
Outside of this the interview was great. I have followed Matthew for several years and love all content.
So good
We went fast, and it didn't last!
Amazing
Please bring Chantal Heide
Mark mentioned he went off the Instagram, but I see him and hiw wife posting?
This is for me!
Who is the mutual friend? Jonathan Fields? All the people I listen to or watch are hanging out together these days 😂
Is there any, similar content, finding love with an avoidant person ?
Mark Groves & Matthew Hussey (& Audrey) - I'm so glad you found each other. There is so much sympatico in what you both offer.
🙌🏾
The way he talks reminds me of someone (actor?), but I just can't think of who it is 🤔
What about anxious-avoidant? I have come across PLENTY of articles about others can date people like me and none about how I can date others.
Forget about anxious-avoidant. If you are man - get into your masculine energy. If you’re a woman, get into your feminine energy.
@@XYZ-qu4yq And what are "masculine" and "feminine" energies? I have come across so many arbitrary, ever-changing, culturally dependent, contradictory rules for masculinity and femininity that I have no idea what those terms even actually mean.
The only worthy person in this field is Adam Lane Smith. He's also here on YT
@@if7363 So I did give him a follow, and I will have to watch his video about "the feminization of men" because, quite frankly, that doesn't exist. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like he talks much about the anxious-avoidant style. The only videos I saw where he specifies the style type were anxious OR avoidant, not anxious AND avoidant. And he seems to talk primarily about those styles in men, not in women.
@@if7363I listen to Adam Lane Smith, and he's great.
Why the "only Adam Lane Smith and everyone else sucks" language though? This guy today had amazing insights, and like he just said:
"Two people walking through life is better than one. Two perspectives, two ways of seeing the world
Diversity in every aspect of the world improves the world. "
21:17
what about trauma from past/childhood, but also autistic? i am what was said in this video having bad childhood. my mother was a alcholic she became agrassive, me dad was some that used drugs, i i did'nt get the love, and at age 5 they divorce, i stayed with my mom for 2 more years, then my mother could'nt take care of me any more and i needed to go to foster family for year, then my dad came back in picture but he was still usings drugs. so no love from him.
how does being autistic also can be harmful thing that you live with like me?
Why not just hire someone to handle the instagram side of your business. That way, enjoy the economic potential of using Instagram but prioritize your mental health?
I don't it's just entertainment I get alot of laughs out them making fools out themselves
Motivation
❤
🙏🩵
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
💚💙
Microdosing on a person haha