I've been married three times. Divorced twice. Both times my ex's divorced me and left. My second wife also left me with our kids, she didn't want them. It wasn't until I met a traditional woman from a good family in South America did my life completely turn around. We're partners, best friends, lovers, and now we're retired. Modern women in the west want everything, but give nothing. I get where you're coming from, but without some sacrifice on the part of both people, marriage doesn't really work.
Sounds as if we were on parallel paths. Almost to a T. I’m on a re-build but looking forward to dating again at 66 yrs old. Need to clear my brain before diving back in. I’ll find her. Even if it takes a lifetime.
Sarah, this video has come at the tail end of a mental torrent of memories and pattern recognitions and realizations I’ve been dealing with over the past week. It has helped validate and give further insight into my issues. I’m currently 20 something days from officially being served divorce papers after 16 years of marriage to the only person I’ve ever been with. It’s been tough, but I’m enduring and healing and honestly have now found peace with just where life is regardless of anything going on. Thank you.
It's often a shock because you never expect the person who VOWED before God to love you, to say "I'm seeing someone else. We are divorcing and I'm taking the kids, house, car and 3rd of your pay" - quite shocking.
@@johnkauppi7078Sexual commitment? Children,Your wellbeing, Inter family relations, grandparents, Your provision of money housing etc etc. Nothing means anything to some of these women. Only their advantage for sex for feminism matters. We are dealing with crime and fraud and being held to ransom over our own families. So this will only end of you refuse to enter into marriage. So Don't Do It...... Warning given. This is a new age of relationships in which your control over your own life is being taken away .
Yeah. I remember a line from a movie I barely remember, but the person said this about dating, "the pain is the chance you take for possible happiness"
I am not blaming our parents for our fucked up behavior is a good thing.. How about taking responsibility for one's own behavior instead of using ones parents as an escape goat.. If you behave like an adult instead of a child, you will get the results you want.. Seeking validation is a sign of mental weakness.. Know your worth and don't depend on anyone to validate your worth.. If you are a rock, then any waves that smash against you will be broken.. Excuses (psychological or not) for ones behavior is just avoiding responsibility.. Look to yourself for strength and find you inner Lion..
I get the notion and I've been there, and I've also been where she is speaking. The whole point is so many of us don't understand what originates with her parents and what doesn't, that we need some insight to know where it came from, so we can do what you're saying. Now if you want to make that something about we're just bad people who are weak and don't give a crap about anyone else, so be it. But it's not that easy to label people. If it is, I'm glad you're living the perfect life. Many of us need to gain Insight from other people to understand why we were made this way and we're not just made this way by natural biological programming. Have a heart. Keep tough loving yourself and getting it done on your own. A lot of people are not able to. I'm sure you must know some in your life. How do you respond to them? How's that been working out?
Aha. Than read about narcistic personality, who to blame it. And read about how can a validatiin need stopped on one night when you were raised in one way and grow adult. On the other hand asshole narcists have chance to lay eggs and becoming bosses.
this is all important and well and good, but the answer is much much more simple. healthy people think that most people are normal and healthy and reasonably intelligent. but the sad fact is most people are broken, mental, and dumb, it takes a good amount of experience to really truly understand this.
Sorry, but the "safe" part is most of the time why relationships ends. If a man is safe, reliable, calm, invested, listening, supporting, will the woman most likely lose interest. Women do often need to feel they are together with a higher value man, one who they have to up their game to deserve. If they feel that the man is looking up to them or at least is seeing them as equal, does she no longer feel he is better than her, he is not stronger, in charge or being demanding, so she does simply lose interest. This is why the "bad boys" are so alluring. She has always to up her game to not lose him, she is never sure if he is appreciating her, if he has another more valuable than her, so she feels the need to fight for him and has to look up to him and be better to not lose him. Safety = boring and unsexy.
The root emotion the leads to anxiety, need for validation is fear. Take ownership of your fear and you will dominate your anxieties. The anxiety not totally disappear but it wont control you. To control fear you must understand fear. Fear is just a state of mind, and the mind can be controlled, disciplined. This is what separates us from animals.. Know the aspects of fear below and conquer it.. False - no threat is real until your mind makes it so Evidence - Do any clues direct you to concrete conclusion of the situation. Appearing - Your mind can influence how things appear to you. Real - Your mind can manufacture thoughts the feel very real.
I am facinated by this. Sarah I am so glsd your content has gone in the direction that it has. Its really unique and explains alot. I am not a man but I resonate with some of what you are saying.
No you are wide of the mark. If this video fits your past or present situation. Give it credit for it's accuracy. Prob is that counselling before entering a relationship would save no end of grief. But of course we do not understand ourselves or our reactions in difficult situations. Thank you.
Sarah that was a very short and sweet explanation of the attachment styles. I look forward to seeing and learning more about this from you and from certified professionals in this line of work. Thank you for the time and energy you put into your videos. I know for me they are informative and educational. You're 💯
Well, I never was married to experience the trials of divorce, but I do have issues of not getting beyond the Friends, Aquaintance, and Dance Partner Zone. It was not because if my parents and how they raised me. I was an uncoordinated kid with a speech impediment who was picked on in school and do not recollect any kid knocking on my parent's door to ask if I could come out to play. So, I learned to do things by myself. Even though I do go out and socialize many times a month, 90% of the time, I do things alone. I figured it was the way it was supposed to be.
Yep, those second two types you describe is what me and my soon to be ex appear to be. Like you said, they attract each other. Unfortunately, she kept loosing control of her emotions attacking me, which just made me build up my defesive walls even further. When she decided to pull the pin and say she wanted a divorce I said we should see a marriage councellor to try and sort it out. To which she said "I don't want to, and you can't make me". As you say in the video, they're either in or out, and she is very like that, all in, or throw it in the bin type mentality. Like you said always got louder and louder, I was always the problem. The 100% strike rate of me being the problem was enough to tell me I wasn't the only problem. I was stepping back from the situation and trying to not labour the issues but focus on techniques and tools for working through situations, she seemed to be incabable of looking at the bigger relationship dynamic/meta and see that we didn't have the tools and techniques to work though the issues in a good way. Hence why I wanted to seek professional help for us so we could better work through such situations. She burnt it down regardless. Now our son will grow up without his father around very much. I fear he'll grow up just like her and perpetuate the unhealthy attitudes.
Wow" I've had rejection since I was born; it seems like" ive begged on the streets & lived rough" now I'm 56 years old & have no real friends nor can I keep a relationship. But I'm.still an amazing guy .. I have my own business for 24 years & I'm mortgage free .. but still a bit tough doing it by myself.. thanks for trying to explain what all this means 🌻🌻
Can someone please explain to me why in the hell everyone's got to do a video in Mirror effect, especially when you have texts in the background that ostensibly we are supposed to be able to read???? Sorry, but for professionals this just really irritates the snot out of me!
what is so wrong if a guy has anxiety about his day and is into "triathlons"? im personal, not into that. but i much rather come home and do my thing rather than be high strung to my wife,kids, and friends. A lot of men do this so they protect the relationship. cause we all know women ask a lot of questions. this would just anger the guy even more that he has to explain his day, the situation, etc... now i 100% agree with you on not drinking or doing drugs to cope. i also feel that the guy should talk with his gf/ wife about his day AFTER he does his thing to unwind.
Hi Sarah so what is the solution to this ? I'm avoidant and can't stay at home I'm working most of the time If I'm not at work I'm in the gym anywhere just not home . I'm not married but have children , my life falling into parts I also use sex and substances . So what is the solution and how to change this ?
The Sternberg's Triangle shows that Passion (looks) and Intimacy (personality) is necessary for romantic love. Commitment ($$$) is defined as non-love and results in Companionate love. Therefore, keep a relationship focused on the romantic love and avoid the financial baggage. In other words, "drizzle, drizzle" financially so it's all about romantic love.
I am not so sure I buy this hypothesis. Society has been poisoned and people no longer act normally. I am 52 and grew up in the 80s. When I was in high school (graduated in 1990), nobody conducted themselves like they do now.
Sarah, what about attraction? If your wife is attracted to you she will not leave. I know that my wife is attracted to me. Of course attraction does wear off. That is why I still date my wife. I take her out to dinner or maybe breakfast. We have been married for 25 years now. Thoughts?
WHY is the video backwards??! Your whiteboard writing is mirror imaged and unless you can read backwards you can't even tell what you're saying on there!
Last year, you "awarded" me an iPhone 13 and iPad 13 pro max. In your good name, I paid your crew for their services. No goods or delivery card ever arrived. Shipping from "USA" cost me $150 USD. Insurance cost me $200 USD. "Redelivery" cost of £100 (UKP) negotiated to £40. Paid. Delivery Man now requires £70 DHL "tracking fee". I believe I am being scammed, because your "process" - as you called it - is vague and misleading. I want my money back.
I have a question. It kind of flabbergasted me just seeing this video on my feed. This woman has never been married, by her own admission in previous videos of hers. Why would anyone take advice from her on divorce, when she herself has never even had the opportunity to get divorced, since she’s never been married??? Next up: parenting classes led by DINKs.
None of us can fix or correct ourselves and that's why we need Yeshua Jesus. He restores our minds and emotions and a relationship with one who will never let us down, the Father.
Lol ok at about 7:15 i noticed your dry erase marker doesn't have the cap on, i would definitely keep the cap on when not using or your gonna get 🫨😵💫 lol
I've been married three times. Divorced twice. Both times my ex's divorced me and left. My second wife also left me with our kids, she didn't want them. It wasn't until I met a traditional woman from a good family in South America did my life completely turn around. We're partners, best friends, lovers, and now we're retired. Modern women in the west want everything, but give nothing. I get where you're coming from, but without some sacrifice on the part of both people, marriage doesn't really work.
True
3rd time is the charm right?
wishing you all the best in the future.
Sounds as if we were on parallel paths. Almost to a T. I’m on a re-build but looking forward to dating again at 66 yrs old. Need to clear my brain before diving back in. I’ll find her. Even if it takes a lifetime.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE AN ORIGAL PASSPORT BRO AND AN INSPIRATION.
IF JAMES GARDNER WAS STILL ALIVE, HE'D BE PROUD OF YOU.
Hatred and contempt for a man are the essence of modern relationships. FREEDOM and only FREEDOM brother's.
Sarah, this video has come at the tail end of a mental torrent of memories and pattern recognitions and realizations I’ve been dealing with over the past week.
It has helped validate and give further insight into my issues.
I’m currently 20 something days from officially being served divorce papers after 16 years of marriage to the only person I’ve ever been with.
It’s been tough, but I’m enduring and healing and honestly have now found peace with just where life is regardless of anything going on.
Thank you.
It's often a shock because you never expect the person who VOWED before God to love you, to say "I'm seeing someone else. We are divorcing and I'm taking the kids, house, car and 3rd of your pay" - quite shocking.
True. They promised before God. And still they break their vows, so vows mean nothing to them.
@@johnkauppi7078Sexual commitment? Children,Your wellbeing, Inter family relations, grandparents, Your provision of money housing etc etc. Nothing means anything to some of these women. Only their advantage for sex for feminism matters.
We are dealing with crime and fraud and being held to ransom over our own families. So this will only end of you refuse to enter into marriage. So Don't Do It...... Warning given. This is a new age of relationships in which your control over your own life is being taken away .
Better question, what ROI is there in Marriage?
There isn't any. I love my kids, but if I had to do over again, I wouldn't have gotten married.
wife gives you kid, cooks, cleans, cex. For these 4 things you'd need 4 different people.
But yea modern females give none so atm zero ROI for men
Better off just staying single . 😊
no comment. never been married. just had my heart smashed to pieces, once.
Yeah. I remember a line from a movie I barely remember, but the person said this about dating, "the pain is the chance you take for possible happiness"
I am not blaming our parents for our fucked up behavior is a good thing.. How about taking responsibility for one's own behavior instead of using ones parents as an escape goat.. If you behave like an adult instead of a child, you will get the results you want.. Seeking validation is a sign of mental weakness.. Know your worth and don't depend on anyone to validate your worth.. If you are a rock, then any waves that smash against you will be broken.. Excuses (psychological or not) for ones behavior is just avoiding responsibility.. Look to yourself for strength and find you inner Lion..
Says Dr. boristesel1322 with an online degree in psychology.
LOL! Just speaking from experience and people I know who done just that. Its my opinion and suggestion that is all
I get the notion and I've been there, and I've also been where she is speaking. The whole point is so many of us don't understand what originates with her parents and what doesn't, that we need some insight to know where it came from, so we can do what you're saying. Now if you want to make that something about we're just bad people who are weak and don't give a crap about anyone else, so be it. But it's not that easy to label people. If it is, I'm glad you're living the perfect life. Many of us need to gain Insight from other people to understand why we were made this way and we're not just made this way by natural biological programming. Have a heart. Keep tough loving yourself and getting it done on your own. A lot of people are not able to. I'm sure you must know some in your life. How do you respond to them? How's that been working out?
Nobody has a perfect life, I wish I did. The challenges in our life's and how we deal with them define us.
Aha. Than read about narcistic personality, who to blame it. And read about how can a validatiin need stopped on one night when you were raised in one way and grow adult. On the other hand asshole narcists have chance to lay eggs and becoming bosses.
What language is that on the white board 🤔
Backwards script
hsilgne
It's called; The dry erase marker cap was off to long lol
@@VTdarkangelLOL.
Be a better man for yourself. 😊
It is the woman who will not accept any rules or reasonable behaviour. So Go Your Own Way........like many of us are deciding....
this is all important and well and good, but the answer is much much more simple. healthy people think that most people are normal and healthy and reasonably intelligent. but the sad fact is most people are broken, mental, and dumb, it takes a good amount of experience to really truly understand this.
Sorry, but the "safe" part is most of the time why relationships ends. If a man is safe, reliable, calm, invested, listening, supporting, will the woman most likely lose interest.
Women do often need to feel they are together with a higher value man, one who they have to up their game to deserve. If they feel that the man is looking up to them or at least is seeing them as equal, does she no longer feel he is better than her, he is not stronger, in charge or being demanding, so she does simply lose interest. This is why the "bad boys" are so alluring. She has always to up her game to not lose him, she is never sure if he is appreciating her, if he has another more valuable than her, so she feels the need to fight for him and has to look up to him and be better to not lose him.
Safety = boring and unsexy.
IOW ..... a damn psycho
You recorded the video in mirrored mode. Makes it harder for us to read the board ↔️
the board is mirrored
She got this from Casey Zander!!?!!!
The root emotion the leads to anxiety, need for validation is fear. Take ownership of your fear and you will dominate your anxieties. The anxiety not totally disappear but it wont control you. To control fear you must understand fear. Fear is just a state of mind, and the mind can be controlled, disciplined. This is what separates us from animals.. Know the aspects of fear below and conquer it..
False - no threat is real until your mind makes it so
Evidence - Do any clues direct you to concrete conclusion of the situation.
Appearing - Your mind can influence how things appear to you.
Real - Your mind can manufacture thoughts the feel very real.
Thank you for this. It finally makes sense. Hell would have been a vacation compared to my last marriage.
Another informative video, I will never be able to date, however learning about this seems important
Oooo...whiteboard breakdown..nice. 24 years with one lady and 9 years with the second. I don't even know who I am.
Hey to clarify is the 24 years lady your mom?
I am facinated by this. Sarah I am so glsd your content has gone in the direction that it has. Its really unique and explains alot. I am not a man but I resonate with some of what you are saying.
The moat is so large that people drown in it! Haha! ❤😂
A spoiled brat that just wants to keep getting spoiled.
No you are wide of the mark. If this video fits your past or present situation. Give it credit for it's accuracy. Prob is that counselling before entering a relationship would save no end of grief. But of course we do not understand ourselves or our reactions in difficult situations. Thank you.
Sarah looks so good in glasses.
Thank you. A little if information in a short time but certainly worth listening to. It does make sense. Look forward to hearing more.
We don’t take things personally? Where’s THAT woman 😂
Sarah that was a very short and sweet explanation of the attachment styles. I look forward to seeing and learning more about this from you and from certified professionals in this line of work. Thank you for the time and energy you put into your videos. I know for me they are informative and educational. You're 💯
Men get blindsided because they weren't included in the get-rich-quick scheme.
You're education is showing 😉 It feels like a new style from the past. Love the past however this is really good and insightful! Nice!
Great description in laymans terms, thank you for sharing!
Looking forward to the other 2 attachment styles in upcoming video!
Thank you for this breakdown, this is more helpful than just throwing terms around. More like this would be awesome!
Well, I never was married to experience the trials of divorce, but I do have issues of not getting beyond the Friends, Aquaintance, and Dance Partner Zone.
It was not because if my parents and how they raised me.
I was an uncoordinated kid with a speech impediment who was picked on in school and do not recollect any kid knocking on my parent's door to ask if I could come out to play. So, I learned to do things by myself.
Even though I do go out and socialize many times a month, 90% of the time, I do things alone.
I figured it was the way it was supposed to be.
Yep, those second two types you describe is what me and my soon to be ex appear to be. Like you said, they attract each other. Unfortunately, she kept loosing control of her emotions attacking me, which just made me build up my defesive walls even further.
When she decided to pull the pin and say she wanted a divorce I said we should see a marriage councellor to try and sort it out. To which she said "I don't want to, and you can't make me".
As you say in the video, they're either in or out, and she is very like that, all in, or throw it in the bin type mentality.
Like you said always got louder and louder, I was always the problem. The 100% strike rate of me being the problem was enough to tell me I wasn't the only problem.
I was stepping back from the situation and trying to not labour the issues but focus on techniques and tools for working through situations, she seemed to be incabable of looking at the bigger relationship dynamic/meta and see that we didn't have the tools and techniques to work though the issues in a good way.
Hence why I wanted to seek professional help for us so we could better work through such situations.
She burnt it down regardless.
Now our son will grow up without his father around very much.
I fear he'll grow up just like her and perpetuate the unhealthy attitudes.
Wow" I've had rejection since I was born; it seems like" ive begged on the streets & lived rough" now I'm 56 years old & have no real friends nor can I keep a relationship. But I'm.still an amazing guy .. I have my own business for 24 years & I'm mortgage free .. but still a bit tough doing it by myself.. thanks for trying to explain what all this means 🌻🌻
Can someone please explain to me why in the hell everyone's got to do a video in Mirror effect, especially when you have texts in the background that ostensibly we are supposed to be able to read???? Sorry, but for professionals this just really irritates the snot out of me!
OMG I wished I had you as an advisor and coach, you are amazing, full stop a G.O.A.T. at your craft!
I wish you'd start discussing or explain the aspects of what women are doing wrong in relationships. How men don't always want the "nice" girl
Best video yet Sarah!
Very good video presentation. And spot on accurate. Thank You.
what is so wrong if a guy has anxiety about his day and is into "triathlons"? im personal, not into that. but i much rather come home and do my thing rather than be high strung to my wife,kids, and friends.
A lot of men do this so they protect the relationship. cause we all know women ask a lot of questions. this would just anger the guy even more that he has to explain his day, the situation, etc... now i 100% agree with you on not drinking or doing drugs to cope. i also feel that the guy should talk with his gf/ wife about his day AFTER he does his thing to unwind.
This is Awesome!!! Yes more please
Great start Sarah. You've just barely touched the tip of the iceberg. The issues run deep but can be cured.
Wow, Dawn, you are right on target! -JD
All this can be applied to men and women. You can not blame men only for all the problems.
If you’ve never trained and competed in a triathlon then crossed the finish line, you haven’t lived.
Well done!
Sampson already knew Delilah was a barber, but He wanted one more for the road 😵💫
I’ve been Blindsided before, but I’ve never been Blinded Sided! Yikes!
Very impressive, you are very good.
Hi Sarah so what is the solution to this ? I'm avoidant and can't stay at home I'm working most of the time If I'm not at work I'm in the gym anywhere just not home . I'm not married but have children , my life falling into parts I also use sex and substances . So what is the solution and how to change this ?
Very informative.
I think you got me right. Can't wait for the solutions video.
I'm just saying hott teacher. Rock the glasses. Love it so intelligent u already know.
The Sternberg's Triangle shows that Passion (looks) and Intimacy (personality) is necessary for romantic love. Commitment ($$$) is defined as non-love and results in Companionate love. Therefore, keep a relationship focused on the romantic love and avoid the financial baggage. In other words, "drizzle, drizzle" financially so it's all about romantic love.
I am not so sure I buy this hypothesis. Society has been poisoned and people no longer act normally. I am 52 and grew up in the 80s. When I was in high school (graduated in 1990), nobody conducted themselves like they do now.
Sarah what you described is how my wife behaves. How do you address the behavior if it is coming from a woman?
Scary accurate.
Sarah, what about attraction? If your wife is attracted to you she will not leave. I know that my wife is attracted to me. Of course attraction does wear off. That is why I still date my wife. I take her out to dinner or maybe breakfast. We have been married for 25 years now. Thoughts?
How do we work on this?
👍💕
❤
Attachment.
WHY is the video backwards??! Your whiteboard writing is mirror imaged and unless you can read backwards you can't even tell what you're saying on there!
You should make a channel for American women. You keep making it the man's problem it seems.
Your board is reversed 😂 and those glasses are sexy😊
Oh the White Board 🤔
heads up, the thumbnail says "Why Men get Blinded Sided" hate to be that guy lol
Oh ya let's get high and make out and play some video games. Oh and takeout....😂
Succinctly put.
Please do a video with your thoughts on the relationship of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
Marriage can be a trap for men. I prefer a relationship without the license. We are child-free by choice.
Sounds like my ex girlfriend
Someone please explain why this woman is not a wife and raising kids 😂
I see now. She is hipervigilant checking hair and Mic. Once she cures herself out, will get a man 😂
She's a grifter just like pearl, they tell girls to get married early and claim to be trad, while they stay single and enjoy the CC @@gaborb6577
Last year, you "awarded" me an iPhone 13 and iPad 13 pro max. In your good name, I paid your crew for their services. No goods or delivery card ever arrived.
Shipping from "USA" cost me $150 USD.
Insurance cost me $200 USD.
"Redelivery" cost of £100 (UKP) negotiated to £40. Paid.
Delivery Man now requires £70 DHL "tracking fee".
I believe I am being scammed, because your "process" - as you called it - is vague and misleading. I want my money back.
BLINDED SIDED?? Who writes your thumbnail headlines? Somebody in Pakistan?
Sarah: this was a nice try, but does not make better videos with this format 😂
u really should watch these before posting. ur video is mirrored so nothing on ur whiteboard is readable.
This video is too long and she talked in circles for minutes. Im pist to waste my time like that.
Sarah Dawn Moore begging for attention again
I have a question. It kind of flabbergasted me just seeing this video on my feed. This woman has never been married, by her own admission in previous videos of hers. Why would anyone take advice from her on divorce, when she herself has never even had the opportunity to get divorced, since she’s never been married???
Next up: parenting classes led by DINKs.
None of us can fix or correct ourselves and that's why we need Yeshua Jesus. He restores our minds and emotions and a relationship with one who will never let us down, the Father.
best way to avoid getting blindsided by divorce: don't-get-m-a-r-r-i-e-d. or, go at it, as a Muslim.
Muslims are aloud four wife's, and many girlfriends. Personally putting up with one,would be quite a challenge. 🙏✝️ ❤🇬🇧
@@lloydwalden4053 maybe not, as, i've read that the husband can get a legal divorce in a few hours: ''There's the door...''
Lol ok at about 7:15 i noticed your dry erase marker doesn't have the cap on, i would definitely keep the cap on when not using or your gonna get 🫨😵💫 lol