Ep. 27 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ส.ค. 2024
- In this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss vulgar tweets, how their parents differ, and music they hate. They also take a look at Bert's surprise birthday video for Tom. What's the best present YOU'VE ever been given? Let us know in the comment section below!
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![[TH] VALORANT Champions Seoul - Grand Final - EDG vs TH](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/WvObMc9VelI/mqdefault.jpg)
I dont usually make comments on TH-cam because of the cancer.
But this podcast really means a lot to me. I’m at home without a job and my GF broke up with me to move home because of the virus. It gets so hard that I just throw on all the YMH podcasts and it makes me laugh even if I don’t want to.
Thanks Tom and all you guys for helping me get out of my head.
Hang in there, brother! Follow proto and things will work out!
Keep your head up man. Things will always get better.
Watch some jocko videos. It’ll pass
Keep your head up things will get better buddy
Yah man don't feel bad my gf broke up with me after four years, then I lost my job aswell. It really sucks but were all in this together man. Stay strong brother.
Haha “no don’t type hot nazi, that’s like redundant” - Bart Krispner
i immediately came to comments to see if anyone else caught that. , f'n Bert is ridiculous.
@@powbang852 I also liked that he said he read "not" as "hot" then blamed it on disleksia.
Dyslexia?
All nazi's are hot. That's just common knowledge.
@@Stealth1919 I've never met Lexia, why would I wanna diss her?
Bert: "I would be absolutely unbearable without my-"
Tom: "You're almost there."
(Oblivious Bert continues)
I would love a podcast where Tom finishes all the stories he doesn’t get to finish on here lol
1 bear 1,000,000 conclusions.
Never gonna happen 😂
I know right ! I love them both but Tom is SUPER patient because it makes me nuts LOL
Can we get a 1bear 1cave episode? Would be so much better
Tom needs a mute button for berts mic so he can just mute him on demand
Lets see whats on this episode of “He’s my best friend but I know nothing about him”
Thats brendon shwaubs show
@@randomrandy4022 777777777666
Does Tom have sister and how many? Which war was his dad in?? Answers to these question and many more after the brake!
dudemaister96 Toms dad was in a war?
444
My condolences to the family of anyone who played the Bert drinking game this episode
I took sips. Killed a bottle of wine.
Burnt knows people play this game. Only he can stops this madness!
I'm 16 beers deep and I'm only 23 mins into it so far.
I bought a bottle of Jack thinking it'll last me a couple of weeks but passed out half way through the episode and can't find my bottle....
farfangled rip
It's amazing how Bert manages to make everything Tom says about himself
It's not amazing, that's just narcissism.
Blessed Mom love Tom so much and need the content rn but yea it makes it impossible to finish
@@nattyrf511 and a sign of getting old. old people are just overflowing with life stories that nobody cares about.
Bert: *Insinuates that Nadhav is dumb*
Also Bert: *Thinks swimming pools clean better than showers*
Also has completely fucked teeth and chronic tooth pain and refuses to go to the dentist to fix it for 10 years
@Omne Obstat 90% of shower water has chlorine. The chlorine smell comes from a mix of chlorine and people's "goo" rom being in the pool like pee, piss, and shit etc. You're bathing in myriad stink in pools, while it's going down a drain in showers.
😂😂💯
@@nelsonedwards6184 He also refuses to use toothpaste because "water and picking is just as good"
The podcast was funny but those 10 minutes where Brent just read his "favorite chapter" of Mein Kampf was a little off
I did nazi that coming!
This isn’t the Needledrop fool.
@@WeekendUpdate7 is that a comedy club?
I’ve heard Brent’s autobiography is going to be titled MY MEIN KAMPF.
@@dcarson311
"My My Struggle"
"I grabbed a beer cause I wasn't drinkin' at the time." - Brett Curbshire 2020
Ronnie Koons best Burnt name swap
Bernie Kreischders 2020! He's an alcoholic racist and he should be president.
My favorite part was when Tom was trying to talk and Bert had to to yell "MY DAD WAS VERY DIFFERENT" 4 times in a row to interrupt him and start talking about what he wanted. He can't follow proto
its so goddamn annoying now
How is Bert not noticing toms face every time he interrupts him
the guy is beyond oblivious
Everything is blurry when your heart pumps vodka instead of blood
its honestly sad to see, tom is such a nice friend
Because Bert is the sort of person who when their kid tells them they got a certificate in school, says "well I've done sold out comedy shows" then goes on the internet to jerk off to people reacting to the machine story
Orlando Trustfull just like his dad ig lol
BERT: ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING CONTOVERSIAL/RACIST
TOM: GO FOR IT
As we all know by now, Bert has NO filter between his addled brain and motor mouth. I started the drinking game and had to stop 5 minutes in. By the end I was still completely hammered.
Lane Shurtleff lightweight
Have you posted that for every episode? Because you really should.
As every bestfriend should
Bert: "...It was november 3rd, I wish I remember the year but I was 26..."
"Dude I can make a comedy album. All I need is someone to write me jokes and structure them for me and I'll say them."
-Bert Kreischshcer if he was a musician
Tom Segura: The son Bert Kreischer's father never had.
Tom is giving me "Dad fed up with his family at Olive Garden" vibes.
That was my childhood. I got my ass whooped too many times after getting home from olive garden
One too many breadsticks
Bert is his hyperactive self indulgent son
Can we get an alarm tone of Tom saying “BIKES”
That already exists: www.yourmomshousepodcast.com/day-2
You're welcome.
UPVOTE THIS YAAS lol
@@nyar5863 NVM THANKS
I almost fainted from wheezing so hard when Bert told the story of racing his dad and his dad went "You'll never beat me at anything".
*Toms telling a story*
*Bert interrupts* My dads very different..
*Tom continues*
*Bert interrupts* My dads very different..
*Tom continues*
*Bert interrupts* My dads very different..
*Tom gives up*
*Bert starts talking about his mom*
Did 2 Bears just hit us with the “You up?” vid drop?
Love it
its finished when its finished.
sometimes 3p is 3a when you’re featherin it brother
I feel like this wasnt suppose to be posted, ima watch anyway
my graveyard shift working self is quite pleased ngl
a huuundred percent
😂😂💯💯💯💯💯
Griffin 💯
Im gonna try and watch it now before he takes it down
Bert: I won’t go into detail
Also Bert: Goes into an 8 minute long story
presley roy or when he says something about not supposed to talk about it, you know he’s about to talk about it.
Bert describing how his dad emotionally abused him: "I think more men need that in their lives."
obviously too few alcoholic men in the world.
Last time I was this early in the comment section, Bert was still tolerant of other races.
So it's your fisrt time, congratulations.
Lmao the irony of that comment combined with the profile picture
"November 19."
"That was a while ago."
"No, that was the other month."
Bert Kreischer 27th April 2020.
Glad someone caught that 😂😂
timestamp?
Honestly, I feel the same way. January is just a proverbial hangover for the previous year and march and april didn’t really exist, so it’s basically a couple months ago.
Technically not wrong
Matt Spencer yes technically, which is the best kind of correct!
6:26 yeah “quid pro quo” is one of those things Bert thinks he understands but he definitely does not lol
I will say this forever. Everybody needs a friend like Bert. Someone who has a laugh so contagious is hilarious.
I took a shot everytime bert said "btw".. I'm dead now...
Woah he literally said it right when I read that. 1:16:29
@@contactkeithstack he said it like 53 times.. by the way, I'm no longer dead
I want an alarm that’s just “BIKES!”
Hey Yo! or Yana! would be good ⏰ when a new episode drops.
yourmomdrops.com/?s=
@@reinders82 where's the fedsmoker drops? Whoever made this isn't featherin' it.
it isn't totally up to date but hey, it's something
@@reinders82 true, thanks
Tom was probably like “alright Bert you want to talk about yourself let’s talk about yourself *searches Bert on twitter*” 😂😂
"My dad's very different"
"My DADS very different"
"MY DADS VERY DIFFERENT!"
Dude that honestly broke me. I'm starting to unironically hate Bert now.
That pissed me off, so fucking rude. But I guess Tom gets to rest during this podcast.
This episode is some of Bert's most annoying behavior, but it's also the one where I started to feel bad for the guy after hearing how his dad treated him.
Bert yelling at someone for not typing the n word was exactly what I needed before work
Well I mean in fairness to burt it WAS just typing it in. Not a big deal and the fact it didnt’t get typed in initially is what made it a big deal
good luck out there comrade
Who else was just about to sleep
yessir
Bruh
🙋♀️
🙋🏻♀️
I just woke up. Its gonna be a good day.
I really wish Tom was able to have 5 minutes where he could talk and not be interrupted. I love Bert, but shush man. Like, just a solid 5.
ehhh, I like their chemistry. But I do wish Tom was a little more insertive :)
He also does standup... it’s just him.
@@VLXVNDR yeah, bert never interrupts people
DirtyCurt
I think you missed my point... if you only want Tom you should just watch his standup. It’s a podcast called 2 Bears, that’s two people.
@@VLXVNDR yeah i think you missed my point. its basically only bert talking. theres barely any of tom. bert will ask a question, interrupt tom and start talking about a story how it relates to himself. its not a podcast between two people its just bert
“I think young men need to be emotionally abused more” - Bert Chrysanthemums, Overweight Anxiety-Riddled Alcoholic
There’s something fun about watching people that aren’t afraid to interrupt each other, great comedic chemistry
Tom is a pro.
He is interrupting because he realizes that Bert is trying to do this pod low key drunk AF and he keeps slurring his words.
So Tom is both helping him and toying with him at the same time.
Notice the blood pressure medicine comment. Bert must have tried the old “I’m feeling a bit off today because of my medicine”
It’s really Grandpapas medicine. The fact he is hiding it here likely means he is hiding it at home and everywhere else also. Poor guy couldn’t do his quarantine sober like he said. Now he is acting like he still is.
Anyways, yes.
Professional level.
*Bert:* I love Elvis Costello, but hate his glasses.
*Tom:* Who wouldn't want to beat his ass for wearing those glasses...
Christina wears glasses like that. And sometimes Tom does too!
They aren’t wrong! Those glasses are too much lol
He sings in a pretentious American accent. That's why I find him so incredibly irritating.
I knew a guy like that. He’s in prison
Bert going thru the square space copy was like Charlie’s political speech for Dennis in Always Sunny.
Money me! Money me now!
Bert literally said that he raised his daughters to listen to country music two episodes ago
Bro, Burt lies about 99% of what he says.
Watch him long enough, you'll see him contradict everything he's ever said.
@@nattyrf511 He does not lie, he is a drunk and has no idea what he is talkin about.
I agree with Blessed Mom I've definitely noticed him contradict himself too haha he said he ran his jokes in his latest special by his kids and got their okay, and then in another podcast he said they were surprised by the jokes when they watched it
Also to believe in Santa
This dropped at the perfect moment.
4 in the morning?
Why
Tom definitely was shy about looking at his Twitter posts 😂
G K absolutely!!
Every time Bert reads an ad it's like he just learned how to read.
He did!
Bill Burr too.
Bert: "Elvis costello sucks wearing those glasses and using it as branding"
Also bert: *rips off shirt whenever he's doing anything related to his brand*
take a sip of water any time bert says "by the way"
stay hydrated yall ;)
New game.
See if you can google search faster than Nadav.
You always win.
Nadav is also running the camera edits, making time stamps, and cueing up videos that Tom/Bert want to play, listening to his sound guy, and producer, and writing notes, and thinking of the legal issues (we can't play that sound or this video will get taken down... we can't type that word or this video will get taken down... we can't show that, will get sued).
Bert: "Nadav, pull up that video (that we've never talked about before from 15 years ago) of me and Green Flash." - looks at Google hits - "No. Go to TH-cam and type in Green Flash." - "Oh that's right, I took it down 10 years ago for Travel Channel. It doesn't exist."
Shitting on Nadav is too easy. Tom can sync his laptop to their screen, he can type up things if he wanted to. Tom giving Nadav a hard time is his way of showing affection, I think.
Young Jamie has stuff up before they are done talking about it.
VideoNozoki Nadav totally wrote this
VideoNozoki Nadav totally wrote this
I love it when Bert says something, then Tom looks into that camera with that look on his face.
I love how a portion of this podcast is us sitting here watching them reading things off-camera and laughing at stuff we can't see.
Bert: "Chin to my chest, as hard as I can"
Tom *at the same time because he's heard this story a million times* : "... as hard as you can..."
Bert should get a cattle prod every time he interrupts Tom. I want to hear the main mommy’s stories
Thicc Boi this drives me insane every week!
Tom has nothing to say tho
Olle Fjällström he tries tell stories and Bert doesn’t shut up
What a surprise, Burnt "I have the least discipline of any human ever" Kristler needs 47 alarms to get up in the morning.
Facts!!
Ok, but is it wrong to set three?
bert calls every single female “beautiful” or “gorgeous” 😂
Alcides Franceschini but this time it was to me 😁
Was jus glassin and this popped up
Glassin?
There's a bow hunting dude that said "i was just glassin" like 100 times per video
just glassin'
Here’s the deal man, I was walking down the fidgreald highway carryin a whole white baby when this graced my feed. Soowoo
"I wish people could.... connect through phones" -bernt drysler
name seems somewhat incorrect. did you mean to do that, honey?
@@cornjobb Are you new here? Better catch up FAST.
@@cornjobb welcome to 2 bears comment section
As an Italian, who sets 5 alarms every morning like bert, I would love to wake up to slurs like that
SAME.
I'm looking for Tom saying "Wake up you dirty fucking W**" LOL
*goes to pornsite*
Bert: *“What’s that gorilla?”*
Tom: *“I don’t know hut that sounds like you’re being racist again.”*
😂😂😂
Bert acting like a hate filled dictator demanding his subordinates type the N word
@Parasite Nintendo
Nice.
@Parasite Darude Sandstorm
Typical Bert hating on the Jews first ari now jewban who is next?
@Kody Choates he was joking dude. its a well known joke to act like Bert is a racist.
This is definitely the first 10 mg Tom. Visibly stoned😂
10 milligrams in a 220+ lbs. man is not going to do literally anything at all lol
I don’t understand the 10mg thing I’ve only ever taken 300mg 500mg and 1000mg edibles
Justin Leonard It’s just some trendy LA bullshit. 10mg is not a psychoactive dose AKA you literally won’t feel anything.
Robert Fenili 10mg is perfect edible dose for me, gets me high but not too high. Everyone’s chemistry is different
@Semper Fortis it's literally undetectable...
Literally?
Well, some people beg to differ. Please post links to the studies that say its proven to be undetectable.
I was in Walmart in Oregon yesterday near the camping & toys section and a random guy yelled “bikes!” I expressed my appreciation and acknowledgment. Him and his buddy appreciated someone understanding the humor. Thanks Tom!
On this episode of "let's see how many stories I can tell that I've told in the last 6 months..."
I can't decide whats worse Berts racism or Christina's stolen valor but keep fighting the good fight and exposing them Tom
Hayden Peeperkoorn Bert’s alarm clock is pretty fucking offensive too.
@@borismuller86 Is it someone yelling "There's a black man in the house!"? Cuz I KNOW Bert would wake up out of a dead sleep if he heard that
take a drink whenever bert asks a question just so he can tell a story about it midway thru tom’s answer
hlp me...alkhol posnin DoNt FeEL sooooooooo gd................asdfjkllll;;;;;;;
Bert told the same story two weeks in a row. Last time he was playing football now it's baseball
You ever get so high that you just listen to all the ads
Am i really going to stay up to watch this? One hunnnddred percent
In 2012 Bert & I got in a heated argument on Twitter over limp Bizkit 😂
Keegz was Bert a fab or no? I’m guessing he’s a LB fan?
Keegz lmao I need details dude
Dang, and I thought I was cool for getting into Instagram-beef with Adam Devine last year
They suck.
What does your age have to do with this statement? Its irrelevant, just like your entry level taste in music is 8 years later.
Hearing about how Bert's dad treated him, and still treats him...I totally get it now. Goddamn.
“There’s a lot I don’t know about music”. Understatement of the year!
It's cool how Tom laughs only when he thinks something is authentically funny. No fake high pitched voices.
Bert is annoying with that shit
Lol at the intern who struggles with 12am/pm
Bryan James his name is Jewban.
Bert needs a word count restriction. I’d like to hear Tom like once and awhile
Once in a while*
"I wish I could remember what year it was"...proceeds to say it was his 26th birthday.
Bert: type in Toms and let’s see if he has said anything bad... oh wait what’s that one about me!
I’ll take these early uploads over the later ones any day. This dropped at the perfect time 👌🏻
I love that whenever Bert listens to his autotunes he legit thinks that he is a good singer lol
Can we all agree that Bert’s dad is awesome? He went full bully on his own son and ran backwards to better mock Bert for being slow. That’s A+ parenting!
Bert wants a way to connect on phones that aren’t twitter, such a visionary
EXACTLY LMAO as soon as he said that i went, "Did he really just say that?"
This whole episode is just Bert laughing through his painful childhood full of abuse.
@@thomasgardner3437 Tom Gardner in here shitting on Bert in every comment thread 😂
He clearly wasnt abused enough.....
@@IloveGorgeousGeorge easy target...
Bert doesn't know what year he turned 26?!?!? Wtf??!?!? Lmao
Well you heard him gang, Tom wants to be sent only links of Bruce Springsteen for now on.. lol
Blert sounds like he permanently has white crust at the corners of his lips.
You need to watch Joey Diaz haha
Blert lol
And rotten breath. The guy rarely brushes his teeth. 🤢
Dylan Mann bruh....he is the worst. I honestly have a hard time watching him because of the amount of saliva and the sound of his wet lungs.
Because he does. Has that mushy sound when he talks about the furor.
They are sleeping so they dont know nahdav messed up
@thatguy 00 YMH usually uploads at 12pm. They uploaded at 12am
Nadav again with his fat lobster hands
@@mijorey567 I died when they were roasting him 😂. The thing is he ACTUALLY types like that when they switch to his camera. I just never noticed.
also it's not on apple podcasts and i'm posting this six hours after this youtube video was uploaded
Rip Blue Ban. His days are numbered
Bert is a human rollercoaster ride. That conversation took me for a spin.
“It was November 3rd, I was turning 26, I wish I could remember the exact year” uhh add 26 to the year you were born. JFC Bert.
"What is that Gorilla" - Bert seeing a picture of himself.
been binging all your podcasts and just caught up. thank you for posting this at an ungodly hour
This is my ideal show drop time
The fact that toms dad has such loyalty to his stand up makes my heart swell!
Wow. Bert interrupts himself every other word. It's exhausting. lol Love ya, big guy.
3:00 thank me later
It's later, thanks you
Mr. DALE 3:19
I'll thank you now 🤷🏼♀️
Blert looks like he rubs his nose aggressively with the palm of his hand.
And then runs his hand down his shirt to wipe it off
That wasn't his nose fellas 🤣
iPhone screen record>iMovie>ringtone maker>garage band= thx for my new 2 Bears alarm!
“It was like trying to throw a rock into a pond, like trying to get anyone to notice” fucking great point Burnt
Tom: *plays alarm sound*
Bert: No I’ll just dream of robots. 😂
God it's 2:23 am here. Guess I'm falling asleep to burty boys laugh tonight 😂
Annoying alarm: "This episodes brought to you by"
I just almost choked to death at “you’ll never beat me at anything”😂😂😂
LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS PODCAST..
NEVER EVERRRR A DULL MOMENT.
CONTINUOUS LAUGHS FOR AN HOUR
Great pic, sexy creature
What's up to all of my beautiful Jeans out there?!
Love ya'll!
You’re forgetting you can’t say “it’s gonna go viral” and expect people to be interested anymore
Dude, did Bert ask himself "How's my mom?" to himself? Did he ask himself a question 😂